Briana S i was best friends with dillon before he ended his life, and my older brother was best friends with payton, tom is such a great guy and it sucks to see this stuff happen, i can still remember all the birthday parties and how we used to hang out all the time
My 13 year old beautiful son took his life over a Cyberbullying attack. I was at work I thought he was going to school instead he stood in front of a train and like this man's kids he said he was alright and I believed him. Now I'm looking into getting these infusions I only had my Son Julien and now I'm too old to have any children.
@@lauralewis5726 my dad instantly died a few days ago in a car crash on his way home from work. I'm hurting really bad. I have never felt pain like this before. Wished I hugged him recently before he was taken from me
This man’s story sounds incredibly agonizing. Even 3 years after watching this video I still immediately think of this man when I hear about the death of someone’s child.
That's hardcore man... I couldn't imagine what this man went through. Both sons. For anyone going through depression, know that you're not alone, it's been said, but it's true. I've lost 2 best friends to suicide, and it's not easy. I use medical marijuana as an anti-depressant and for pain management (back surgery), and I've found that it works wonders for me! Everyone is different though, so what works for some, might not work for others. I hope this man finds peace!
I lost one of my good friends to suicide , no one and I mean no one expected it , I was in London with my school at the time and felt as if none of my friends would understand if u talked to them as they thought I kept on talking about it and I still don’t really talk about it but it hurts inside
Thanks buzzfeed for sharing this as men need to talk more about this and also seeing alternative treatments that can help others to cope. Prayers to this man as no one should have to go through this ordeal/pain...
Timbacto Bros. Men r told to hide their feeling, cause in society, there's this stigma that men shouldn't be vulnerable which is associated with "being weak" for a man, unlike women
Aspie Answers people need to understand that men cope through pain differently than women do. Sitting in a circle letting their feelings out is how women cope, not men.
Sir fap alot I'm aware of this as I've seen and heard that men aren't supposed to show their feelings,etc as its s sign of weakness in the eyes of society. The stigma and stereotyping in men is there and real. I believe that men need to learn how to deal/cope with their feelings/emotions. Sorry.
I can't believe this, my heart aches so much for this guy. Life can be so unfair sometimes. I hope he can find peace someday and enjoy life once again. His sons would have wanted that.
He’s definitely strong. I’m dealing with a fraction of the issues this man is and I’m having a really hard time. I wouldn’t make it with what he went through.
I recognised his figiting instantly from my bouts with severe grief and suicidal ideation. I believe it be a a physical manifestation of unbearable anxiety and emotion. Was rather uncomfortable to watch due to the familiarity.
Hurtlocker10 nope, the sons didn’t choose to be born and they didn’t choose to struggle through life and depression, suffering. You mean to say the sons should suffer through a life that they didn’t ask for in the first place so that their parents can be satisfied, you’re very naive.
You can see the distress in his body when he’s telling his story. The PTSD is almost palpable. God bless this man. I hope he finds healing, from the bottom of my heart
Life could be tuff but pls don't commit suicide. We all have to carry a cross just like Jesus did but Jesus is there to help us with our cross just like Simon was there to help Jesus. Take care everyone and God Bless you and your family and REMEMBER JESUS LOVES YOU GUYS TOO EVERYONE
Dont do it. Not only your mom, but everybody who loves you (there's a lot!) Would be devastated. Whatever hard times you are going through, you will get through!
Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to the people who love you. My heart breaks so much for this guy. I wouldn't have made it through. I know I wouldn't.
Binkle Babe I've seen the other side of suicide and it is so horrible. Hold on. It will get better. You're worth it. If even one person in the world loves you, you're worth it.
Picket Pants as someone who is suicidal, I don’t disagree but I have another perspective; sometimes you feel it’s better than being a burden. It’s as if you already feel you are causing both yourself and others around you pain because they can’t help you and you can’t help yourself. It’s really hopeless. Like in the long run everyone is better off.
I still have a some of options left but if i ever have to choose killing myself i would do it in a remote place so my parents and siblings would never see my disfigured body.
@@elchippe That way, they will spend their whole life questioning whether you are still alive. The struggle between keeping hope and giving up is much worst, I think
among all the "drawing with period blood" and "trying on fart proof underwear" videos that buzzfeed often puts out, there are occasionally videos that are really well made and full of emotion. the grief in his voice and the tragedy he faced was so sad, but seeing his process to recovery was very interesting.
I watch this always when im completly down.. and i always start crying and remember that my family would have to go through the same things that this man has to go through if id would end it...
I’m afraid the grief is far, far to monumental too manage without this kind of help. I lost my own son over two years ago & I really want my end to come. They do exist on the other side & I have had electronic communication from my son. This is what people should know about
Cameron Guitar, As father my brain makes me empathise with the man, not knowing how I'd react to losing my Son, putting yourself in that position certainly may not make you feel any where near this mans loss but it makes your brain think. However not everyone works that way, but thats not bad in of itself.
This might just be the saddest video on youtube😭 What a strong human being that dad is!!! Just realized its been exactly a year since this was posted. I wonder how hes doing💙
I have three sons and my heart breaks for this man. Cannot imagine his pain 😔 So great that these options are out there for people who are suffering. 👏
HolyBlue Berries I am reporting you unless you stop this is NOT ok you CAN NOT make jokes like this I will report you in 24 hours unless you take down your comment and apologize this is not ok.
Tom is a very successful local business man where I live. Prior to the deaths of either of his sons (his only children I believe) he formed the Thomas Alan Budd Foundation And has donated millions of dollars over the years.
I’ve just found a few vids about him and it’s so sad that this had to have happened to him. It’s always the good people that have the worst things happen to them
unknown so true and I have anxiety, shows me the results if I decided to do something, and showed me I never should EVER DO SOMETHING. Cause I would never put my parents through that.
CatsAreCool this is what holds me back from it. As much pain and disappointment as i have brought my family already, i dont want to hurt them that much more.
Cil Li i am the opposite i want a kill myself so that my dad can guilty about me me for the rest of my life i hate him im even thinking to kill him before i kill myself
the loss of one child is already world shattering. I can't imagine how much pain this man has endured. I've never heard such a moving story. This man is unbelievably strong.
The last time my eyes watered was years ago. I couldn't believe that i cried hearing this man telling his story. What a brave man he is. I wish him the best.
Keep hitting them weights bro i lift everyday watch you tube vids for constant inspiration CT fletcher,Kali muscle Green, Rich Piana keep going dont stop!!!!!!
This is why I never did commit suicide. I was gonna, had the shotgun in my mouth and everything, but I didn't want to put that kind of greif upon those who still cared. EDIT: Thank you all for the support, it really helps :'^)
Catsoup i was about to fill the bathtub, but i hesitated. because at that moment i remembered the people who still love me, and the moments that we laughed.
ShaiMyst Ditto. Everyone in the comments matter to me whether they're still going through hard times, got through the hard times or ignorant about people who went through hard times. Love from Korea 💕
I buried one of my two sons and even I cannot fathom what this dear man has to live with. I wish I could give him a hug and cry with him. His pain is unimaginable. As an aside, I receive ketamine treatments too and they have helped me tremendously. I recommend them especially for those dealing with deep grief and ptsd.
GentlRebel I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you’re doing okay I’m sure your son is in a better place just know that people love and care about you and you will be okay.
Wow, losing two sons of different age group to suicide must be the hardest thing to cope with... He's still a very strong man even though he had to deal with all that
Mossfaerie Some people might’ve found this sad but not cried. I did. I barely cry- it all depends how sensitive the brain is because we’re all different.
I was good friends with both Payton and Dillon. Not only did we share the same school together, but they were my company on our school bus ride home. Tom if you're reading this, thank you so much for what you have contributed to our community. The amount of love and courage in your heart is unimaginable ❤️ -Ramy
HolyBlue Berries I understand you’re doing this to try to get a reaction and prolly don’t even mean it, but how can you even write that In, how do you even have the mindset to think that’s okay
Sycorex RBLX no one, should have to go through this. I went through his after my brother died and I didn’t talk to anyone for about two years. I completely shut down.
@@based_mediumchungus1788 it’s like realizing how much the world is so fucked up and you can’t fix it on your own depression is like your just living, but your gone
Buzzfeed giving actual content? If only all videos on this channel could be held to this standard. This was incredibly emotional and well constructed. I feel deeply sorry for this man
Erasing pain is part of the problem. I wish I my parents acknowledged the severity of my depression....that’s highly invalidating....I wish people stopped believing complaining what the issue and listened to what people were complaining about....because often people with depression complain and feel terrible and try to tell people and people brush it off....messages like this to me pose more danger than good.
i lost a friend from suicide... a year later his father committed suicide. he was the only son. it's really sad his father couldn't handle the pain. He too witnessed his son's body when he got home...
*DO NOT TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. YOU COULD BE HOMELESS, NOT ABLE TO FEED YOURSELF, ALONE, TIRED, BUT JUST KNOW IT ISNT PERMANENT. I WAS HOMELESS WHEN I WAS 17, I MISSED SCHOOL, AND HAD NO HOME. I WALKED INTO PLANT HIGH SCHOOL AND JUST SAID I WANTED TO GO TO SCHOOL, AND THEY WENT THROUGH THE PROCESS AND I DIDNT HAVE PARENTS SO THEY LET ME AS AN EMANCIPATED MINOR, I GOT A JOB FOR $10/HR WORKING 40 HOUR WEEKS, GRADUATED, AM GOING TO AN AMAZING COLLEGE, AND OWN A BEATUP VEHICLE AND AN IPHONE, YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT I PROMISE*
I am so, so sorry. My only son is 3 1/2 months old. I was so sad during my entire pregnancy because of an unloving partner. I pray that my baby doesn’t struggle with depression as he gets older. He’s such a happy baby. I love him so much.
Not sure if your son is the baby in your profile picture, but he's a beautiful an adorable baby. All the best wishes for you and I hope he will be a strong, healthy adult in the future :)
Denai Mullet may god bless you and bless him, as a teenager, I’ll tell you one thing, try to be as close with your son as possible and give him freedom, teach him to love himself and to be a gentleman and trust me he won’t even think about suicide, just be there for him as much as you can and always treat him as your bestfriend, try not using hurtful words towards him ( even when you’re mad) and love him for who he is, take care💜
tommi seppa True. I feel very truely sorry for him as someone suffering also with pstd, depression and anxiety. Suicide may seem sometimes to be the solution for everything but in reality its not.. But mostly its its NOT FAIR to cause this kind pain to our FAMILY!
You tell your therapist they tell your parents. You tell your friends they start worrying about you. Idk about a counselor but they probably will tell your parents too... it’s a trap man
Kylie's Corner i dont have friends and way too shy to ask anyone or go out. My family will laugh at me if i ask them and will tell me to go to mental hospital.
Angel Belau dude chill it was just a comment so how about you keep your comments to yourself and maybe I was praying for his health for his well being oh and other thing u don’t have to be religious to pray so what are you saying
Angel Belau Your comment is extremely inappropriate, prayer can be a way of coping with things and doesn’t cause suicide. I may not be religious myself but it can certainly help people, it can give them hope.
Angel Belau you honestly don't know how idiotic that comment is and insensitive how about you learn what praying helps people cope with instead of neglecting it
HeyIts Dubem I thought the same! I feel like with the treatments being 6 weeks apart, his body might has time to recover in between? But the long term side effects have me nervous for trial patients.
In the trials for depression, it's extremely low, controlled dose and monitored by medical professionals. So it's incomparable to the dose/quality of illegally-sourced ketamine one would take at a nightclub. AFAIK they have been doing many different trials around the world with few serious side effects, though it's impossible to know now if there are long-term side effects.
Dear Lord... you can tell how hard it is to talk about his sons just by his mannerisms. The way he hits the arm of the chair with his fist, it almost reminds me of a child talking to a therapists or councillor...
I feel you. Both my parents took their life. I have 2 kids and i cant imagine what you went thru. I suffered ptsd for years and still do today. What helped me a lot was MDMA . Like the doctor said its a treatment not a cure . But it helped me to get going and survive and see a future with my kids. All my love to you Mr. Hope things get better for you .
Dam Mister I honestly do not know how you get through each and every day of your life. You can never get over the heart ache. God bless you and your family.
Oh my god.. I feel SO horrible for this guy! I have a son, and if he passed away, I just couldn’t go on. To have two children and lose them both in that way, is just horrific! He is incredibly strong.
I lost my son and let me tell you, I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy.. I totally back what he's doing, I personally turned to alcohol and it might help the pain for a little bit, but it's always gonna be there... it's been 2 years now and I'm doing better, but like I said it's always gonna be there.. hold your kids close people
codysk8s94 Please, Everyone, always treat Everyone and Everything with kindness, love and respect. Please always remember, Jesus is always there for you no matter what. Please open your hearts to love and please find Jesus!!!!!!!
Interesting, if something like Ketamine can help someone who has severe depression then yes it should be explored with the help of good medical practitioners. I just feel like this could be easily abused by some. So hope more research and more success cases can come from this.
When drugs like these are administered under control and care like this video, they can certainly help. But the problem with these drugs are that they're abused so often
ketamine is abused but I don't see it as similar to typical party drugs. I may be wrong, but I don't think ketamine users get addicted. I don't think many people use it frequently because it is kind of like roofieing oneself. This has been a miracle drug for a loved one. I think it has saved tons of lives.
Joe Smith That has nothing to really do with it... Depression is a difficult thing to deal with. You can't think straight at times... It just makes you see all of the worst things. Sometimes... People give in because they think it will end of the pain they feel inside. He stated that one of his son's was impulsive. I have a sister that is impulsive and also deals with depression... And I worry about her giving in all the time.
Joe Smith An asylum? That's actually an awful idea. A lot of those make it worse. As for therapy, it's usually not covered by most health insurance companies and can be extremely expensive.
