How Ann O’Neill turned grief into good for victims of domestic violence | Australian Story 

The mother in law saying guilt was 50-50 ..... Disgusting.

The absolute gall of people - especially the in-laws - laying any blame on her, at all!!! It makes one want to just shake the mother-in-law and say "maybe if you had done a better job raising Normy boy - he would not have grown up to kill his own kids". That is such a stupid accusation to make - it is just as ridiculous for someone to blame Norm's mother as it is for her to blame her daughter-in-law. I remember my ex-mother-in-l;aw asking me what had I done to push my ex into hitting me?!!!! That's the problem, I think - no one takes responsibility for their own actions. It's always someone or something else that's to blame. We need to go back to the days wherein children are taught that there are consequences to our actions - bad behavior has time outs or whatever outcome set for bad behavior - just as good behavior can earn praise, etc. Completely obvious that I'm an old, out-of-date lady!! hahahaha

The mother in law needs to realise she raised a monster who murdered his own children

They should teach these relationship issues in high school. You can't control or own a person. If your partner decides to move on for whatever reason, that is their right. It sounds so basic, but it's unbelievable how many people don't know that.

Norm's mom is seathing in anger for Ann for she sees her son as the kind young man that he used to be before he first became a stalker and then a murderer. What's even worse is that he shot his own children in the heart. It was his own derangement which allowed him to murder and no one else's. Norm's mother should apologize to Ann.

Some mother-son relations are sick

The mother saying it was half her fault, are you kidding me! So she should've just stayed in an unhappy relationship because he loved her so much and possibly couldn't control himself if she left? He was suffocating her and his actions are NOT her responsibility.

The mother in law blames her? Seriously!

It was an extremely tragic event which led this courageous woman down this path to help others - I am so grateful for beautiful humans like her - this was a wonderful filmed documentary

THATS NOT LOVE - Disgusting for justifying their sons behaviour

Why do the mother's of murderers blame others? Absolutely disgraceful reaction.

You don’t kill your kids and attempt to kill your wife because he “ loves” so much. That’s not love! His family is horrible and delusional. I wonder how the killer was raised?

Oh my!! My brother completed suicide....blood alcohol .18 on autopsy. Left behind 2 little girls and a wife. The marriage was difficult. My family (not me, only) blamed his wife. She had her issues, but she could not reparent and save the troubled soul of my brother. For my family to admit how incredibly dysfunctional they were, as well as the very damaged individuals they had born and reared, was just not in their capability. Takes character to realistically look at yourself and your family... So very sad....

What a wonderfully inspiring woman Ann is. Such a gentle nature. Her new man seems lovely and their son adorable. She deserves happiness. As for the ex mother in law, don't get me started there

He shot them ""mother"" They were asleep A 100%Cowardly Attack No 50/50 here!!

Oh my Anne. I wished I met you. My two children and I survived domestic violence but the healing has been a long painful road. The anguish and loss is unfathomable. Thank you for your work

What a brave strong and wonderfull woman she is!!

The Mother and sister in law's are disgusting! How dare they blame her. Marriages break down, nobody can be compelled to live with a person just because the other one is still in love. His was not love his was possession

WOW! The in law family are bloody unbelievable!!!! omg, seriously???? Thank God she ignored all the negativity, left them all behind, forged ahead, and look at her today!! Great story told

I don’t think Norm’s behavior denotes love toward his children or ex-wife. It is evident that Norm was dealing with some sort of mental disorder. Anne was not responsible for Norm’s behavior.

Ann is the most deserving of Australian of the decade if ever one existed.

Monster in law is obviously a narcissist that raised a malignant narcissist son, so I'm not surprised at the granny vomit being spewed!

The victim blaming by Norm's mother is appalling. So though Ann was unhappy in the marriage and chose to separate, it's her fault he shot them?? So she should have stayed so that he wouldn't have shot them.

what a survivor. Well done to Ann. Great documentary.

His mother is so wrong. Her grandchildren were murdered by her son. Absolutely no excuse at all to murder his children.

The mother's denial and loyalty to her son explains his horrific actions.

The ending of this is beautiful Im so so happy for her god bless her and her family

What an astounding beautiful and loving woman. She radiate strength and confidence and willingness to help. God bless you

Iam a mother, I can't even imagine what this strong amazing woman has gone through after loosing her kids.

Not in him to do it. Well...he did it lady. He and he alone is responsible.

That Mother-in-law is a trip! Some parents feel that they have to support their children no matter what! Her son murdered his Family then took his own life and she blames his wife. What planet is she from. She can be sad but if she wants blame she needs to look in mirror for it! She raised him! It just infuriates me that Sje can blame Ann the victim.

What a truly horrendous story. I'm so glad she's found a new happiness, of COURSE nothing can undo the traumas of what happened but I take my hat off to her that she has done so well as a survivor. This made me very sad and emotional, I'm so sorry this happened, absolutely terrible. All the best to her, her new man and their child, best wishes from me.

Thank goodness for people like Ann.

Inspiring and courageous women, may your heart always be full.

How disgraceful that his family blame her! What an amazing woman to live through such horror and use it to help others

What an inspiring woman ! x

She has definitely given me hope and continuing the rest of my life after my husband and son tight. I still have another child also a boy and I'm trying desperately to help him through these difficult times. It has been a rough road and of course I do miss my husband and my other son but I find peace in knowing that neither one of them are in any more pain and that I know I will see them again one day somehow. Every day I ask for strength to get through our grief and to help each other. And my son has not come to terms with this because he blames himself for so many things that led up especially to his brother's death. To have a regrets but also I have joyous memories and I know that if I could just find a way like this woman did that it would change our lives completely. For the last 10 years I have used my art which I did not find until I was 55, but I have used my heart for my sanity as well as Joy. Even my son has finally come around to my art not being frivolous but has now even asked for several pieces of my art for his room which makes me so happy. God bless him and anyone who came before who have lost their lives.

I saw Ann’s story on You Can’t Ask That and when she said the hardest part was people blaming her I just KNEW she was talking about his family. Notice how his mother says she blames her and then amends it to “it was 50-50”. I bet she just did that because she was being recorded. I bet when she was talking in private she didn’t say 50-50 and just blamed Ann.

Wow! Blaming the victim for the estranged husband murdering their children. The only one to blame is the person who brought a gun into her house and murdered their children. His family is obviously selective in their memory of "Normie". Maybe it's the only way they can live with the fact their own son did this horrendous crime to his own family.

Married so young it was almost inevitable they would grow apart none of this is her fault . The mother in law wants someone to blame. He killed her children in front of her . My husband committed suicide when I wanted to split up as I was unhappy, his parents blamed me I was told what was my unhappiness compared to his life.

How his mum blames the children’s mother for his actions is beyond me... shame on them!!! Absolutely disgusting.

What a remarkable person.

Amazing woman! It is beyond comprehension how anyone could place any amount of the blame on her.

This was really well done, no spoilers. A nice surprise ending! On a serious note, when will we at least TRY to protect all victims of domestic violence.

I wish I could meet this lady to get some clarity from my situation and what wonderful advice and guidance she could give me as I don't know what to do anymore. What an incredible lady.

The murderer of Ann's children did it for one reason. He wanted to. The lowest level of contempt for innocent children and their mother. Despicable, deplorable crime. It's wonderful she has found love and peace with her husband and their son.

This makes me so mad We have ONE life and no one has to stay unhappy in a marriage!! The fact the he could shot his children tells us what type of person he was in their marriage. His mother is discussing!!!!!! Her son killed her grandchildren!!! Poor woman SHE HAS NO BLAME !!!!

Of course his mother and sister will defend their son/brother ...... who'd want to admit that someone they love could possibly commit such a heinous crime? They're comforted in their delusion. Also, insisting Ann must have driven him to it, in their view, mitigates to some degree what he did. I rather suspect that even had he not murdered his children and just committed suicide then his mother and sister would likely still believe Ann had driven him to it. Sometimes people won't face facts. I'm pretty sure Ann herself must have had a period where she questioned what she may have done differently to prevent this tragedy. Oh I'm aware some will read this and think I'm defending the mother and sister. I'm not. I'm offering a perspective. Ann absolutely played no part in what happened and my heart breaks for her, and those two beautiful children. I admire her strength in carrying on with her life, and am delighted she trusted Wayne enough to marry him and create new life with him.

I’m happy for her that she has love now and another child!

As a mother, it's hard to accept the fact that your own son could do such a horrendous thing. But you should have gotten him help; you keep saying how depressed he was and how much of a hard time he was going through.

I dont think ive ever felt so sick to hear someone speak of a victim as if they deserved it. To hear his mother say that he was pushed to the limit, I can't even fathom what kind of mother in law she was while they were still together. What a horrendous woman, I can't be more disgusted.

Good on yoi Ann for this awareness n how to deal with trauma especially from domestic violence. It is very hard to overcome trauma. Only love can change the world.

Her former in-laws claim Norm loved her? Can they even hear themselves? His end actions tell us exactly how much he hated her. But am glad she's moved on so so successfully

He looked like he had something wrong with him

What a divine spirit this women is.

Lots of couples get divorced and co-parent and all are happy. They don’t murder. This lady is not to blame. She did not make him pick that gun up. He decided to commit this crime, not her.

This brought tears to my eyes! I was in a very dangerous relationship for 23 and a half years. It was very frightening because I feared for my like . I finally had the courage to leave for the final time when my kids were older

What an amazing story and an amazing woman. I’m happy to see she is sharing her story and helping other people. We need someone like you in the US👏

We do really need to address DV head on in Aus. It takes so many lives, particularly women and children.

“And he loved those kids.” Citation needed! Wtf!

Norm’s mum needs to wake up to herself, how the hell does it come back into that woman? POOR LADY! Norm’s family owes that woman an apology, how dare they? That attitude is so vile & toxic, is it a wonder she left him to begin with?

Watching his mom talk about the situation and blame the victim, it's easy to understand why he felt so powerful and entitled.

The mother blaming HER?! I just could not believe it... that is SICK. YOUR son shot his children , your grandchildren DEAD! He let his wife live, and YOU blame the wife? There is no amount of anything that would ever make me harm my child, ever... let alone shoot them!!! 🤬🤬🤬

What is wrong with Australia’s legal system? Six years for the most horrible father to daughter child abuse going on for years is ridiculous. The most horrific crimes against children and the perpetrators get a slap on the wrist?

She got the haircut. That's always the first, most important and definitive break with the past and past relationship. It's sort of a universal thing.

What a lovely Lady.

I Remember Luke Batty’s murder, my son was around the same age as he was when his father murdered him. It has stayed with me till this day. 😢

Why are children the fall out for domestic violence, it’s the one way to destroy a partner, she has no blame,his mother needs somebody to shoulder are pain and decided it’s Ann, wonderful strong women pushed by life into a new role, WE ALL MUST STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

Ann thank you for sharing your story. You are a true inspiration.

We lost a grandson. Grieving takes a long time. Being a christian helps us so much because we know only their body is gone and we will see them again. I have outlived many family and friends. Its very difficult and heartbreaking. Through it all l know im not alone. Christ comforts me. Cant wait to see my loved ones who have passed on.

SHAME ON HIS MOTHER AND SISTER for blaming the mother who's children were MURDERED. I wonder if his mother would feel the same if this happened to her DAUGHTER.

The mother shows no compassion and she raised him so there should be some acknowledgement on her part!

What an amazing woman, so brave. Unbelievable his family blame her! Awful.

Just the way Chris Watts mother places some of the blame on the victim. Disgusting

Most people cannot see what you suffer inside. My partner spent 6 months with degrading verbal abuse, physical violence and sickening attempts at poisoning me. Because they had fallen in love with another and were now very desperately keen to have me removed from the marital home. I know that’s exactly why the very violent abuse started. At the time I was at a complete loss about what to do. There is no handbook in these circumstances and I hid it all from my friends. I tried to love back more, be more attentive, be accepting, even understanding. In the end I just stayed focused on the kids, hoping the infatuation for the other would eventually wear itself out. But after 6 months it didn’t go away. It went to another much much worse level. On the last night I saw my 3 kids I read and told them stories as usual and tucked them into bed. Those last cuddle memories I treasure. Especially since it would be the last time. I then went to bed myself and I fell asleep quite quickly. I was woken by being punched in the face. My partner was in a peculiar rage. Like they had worked themselves up into a frenzy. I was used to being hit in the face but it was never more than one or two hits at most. This time was different. The punches wouldn’t stop and I could only stand and watch as I was being broken down into pieces. That was 16 years ago. I still dream of my kids. Those perfect beautiful memories that hurt so much now. I keep going. I don’t know why. It used to be because I didn’t want my partner to think they had won. But now, none of that matters to me anymore. I live in another country now… for obvious reasons. I suffer and I long for the suffering to end

What an incredible story , of love , loss, and finding love again . Ann is a truly remarkable person. ❤️💔❤️‍🩹, thank you for sharing your story .

“Thank-you, Mommy”. What a polite little boy.

People have to take responsibility for their own actions. HE decided to kill his own children , to kill two human beings that had a right to live their own life. HE did this, an absolute bully . Wishing the mother well and peace ☮️

The mother in law needs a wake up call She has zero idea of what went on within the marriage or what type of husband her son was.

He clearly wasn’t normal! How his family can say he was normal is beyond my comprehension. He killed 2 babies and permanently injured his wife. He didn’t love her. That’s pure hate! He hated her so much he wanted to hurt her as much as he possibly could.

I am a Survivor of DV and it’s hard ive taken him back over and over and over and over even after he hit me so hard it ruptured my liver and spleen and I was in icu at the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston mass air in America it was hard and scary to leave him I’m still with him to this day he hasn’t put his hands on me in a few months now we are trying but I am scared of him but also I have no one else I have no family only his I have no friends so I have no one I can call and ask if I can go to someone’s house and stay with them everyone I did left they don’t want to be involved in anything like this it’s hard to get out of and stay out of

Inspiration. Pure inspiration. Biggest heart. A life long journey carrying the grief with the little ones in her heart. Even her ex seems to have a place there with how she respects his memory. Thats amazing. She is a realist for sure. The in-laws shouldnt be so bitter. Yes some men can be great but when there are kids thet can even get jealous of the fact you dont have time for the husband anymore. Youre cuddling, bathing, eating with the kids. Too tired for intimacy and that creates insecurity. He was terribly insecure to have stalked her. To be driven mad, thats not healthy. His unwillingness to see that is not her fault. She tried to help. The fact the in-laws blame her 50/50 goes to show what type of people he came from. Of course he was the greatest to them, as family but also because theyre blind to healthy relationships they shouldve been there for Ann on some level. She is so resilient i really feel so inspired by how she dealt with this. Turned a negative to a positive.

He loved her dearly. If one more person would’ve said that! He was making her miserable due to his insecurities. Ugh.

Wow what a story. And what a lady xx

holy crap now we are not even allowed to end a. relationship?? seriously that mother in law!!

He's not "suicidal" if he takes people with him. That's "homicidal". You can't treat the 2 the same way. He was jealous and obsessive, not heartbroken. His family is choosing to be stupid!

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree .. it fit for him and his disgraceful mother and sister.. 🤡🤡 All my best wishes to these brave ladies fighting against ignorance. 💖

“I didn’t trust him at all with my emotions.” 😞😞

So sad... He wants to visit his siblings in heaven. 💔😔 Such strong lady. 💝

Unbelievable that Norman's mother and sister blame his wife for his murderous rage. They are SO in denial. It's THEIR family of origin dynamic that created such a weak man, that he could not live on his own and create a relationship with his children on his on, as a divorced father. That kind of emotional weakness and instability comes directly from childhood. He was very damaged before he ever met his wife.

Great story, thanks! The guy had some really weird facial characteristics.

Norm mother needs a reality check. I know she's in pain, really I get it but he didn't just kill himself he killed innocent kids.

Outstanding awareness

So sorry Ann Ur a incredible women

Norm's mother and sister are deluded and completely in denial about who is to blame for the murders of 2 precious children, as well as the physical harm done to their mother and Norm's own death. Norm alone is to blame for his atrocious acts!

Why would you ever want another relationship after that? She is an inspiration ❤️❣️❣️so happy she found her space ♥️

💔💔💔

Norm must not have got the help he needed, it is a govt, community/ social professional services problem, you can not expect family, wife’s, kids, friends to take on this very serious difficult family/social problem. I would also say men can tend not to reach out for help with mental illness. Many professionals can significantly help men and women with the family/social problems, life pressures, mental illnesses. Ann is a real angel.

You don’t believe your son would ever do something like that? Well he did. Saying it’s a 50/50 fault of them both?, seriously?? You need as much help as your son did, if not more. Your son KILLED your grandkids ! And to boot, took the COWARDS way out !!!! I’m glad she has moved on with her life and has left his family out of her life. Your a strong woman. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful children. May they Rest In Peace.

I am outraged these family members are blaming this poor woman.. That man allowed himself to make an idol out of a human being.. It never works.. Shame on them!