How can I love those who have hurt me? 

"I will only engage with people who are loving and appreciative towards me." Love this

I can certainly relate to being a door mat…at age 65 I’m an empath and now learning how to love myself so important…❤️

Thank u soo much for this vedio....I was a doormat for last 11 years to my in law's....I m from India....but from last year I stood for my self n 4 my feelings.....But at d same time I was feeling guilty for that...thank you so much for ur precious words...I live in joint family from last 12 years.....feeling very relaxed.....now things r getting better 4 me....thank u...tank u soo much...n tank u to ur all angels.....becoz of ur n.d.e. I got 2 learn so many things....thank u ...thank u soo much....thank u 2 my angles for always guiding me.....n protecting me....I felt their presence many time......most of d time they give me their msg by u tube....I saw ur vedio....I listened n subscribed it....4 more vedios.....I love my self.....thank u...thank you so much

I’m from SF, CA. I’m a empath & people pleaser & I just learned my lesson so bad recently & never want to go though this again. I’m going to choose for myself better ❤️

Many ppl are “trained” and conditioned to be desperate and depleted, during long years of childhood. Because there are such parents with poisoned personalities who can really show you what the bottom of the hell means. Your teaching gives great guidance to those who’re wearing such scars of early terrible experiences.

I am an environmental Medical healer MD PhD. Your book is the first one I recommend to My patients. Then I got sick!!! Breast cancer. I realized it is truly a gift! You are my teacher and my sister !!!! Thank you.

Anita's mantra: I will only engage with those who are loving and appreciative towards me...they charge my batteries...Yes...that's such good advice! You go Girl! So Simple!

Dear Anita,thank you very much for everything what you do.I am from the Czech Republic,15 years old so I am sorry if my English is not perfect.You have the most beautiful soul that I have ever seen,your personal charm is just overwhelming and if everybody were like you are,here we would have Heaven on this fear and power based Earth.You are awesome.I love you,take care and enjoy every single day.With love Tereza❤️

You are an extraordinary lady Anita! I was so blessed by this talk and so many others. Thank you, thank you! : ) xxx

I am 58 from Sydney Australia(grow up in HK like you Anita, so I know exactly what you talking about the HK culture). Mum had mental illness so I am very Empathic for survival, she is also very Narcissistic, my sister is a high functioning Psychopath, they literally sucked me dry. Me being Empathic, low self esteem, big time people pleaser and Christian up bringing (preach to give and give no matter what), lead me to 23 years of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, it is the body's way to say NO More. I bought your 1st 2 books and it has turned my life around. I still people please as it is so much my nature, but I catch myself out more and more and - when that happened, I rectract from my commitment or change my mind and say NO - putting myself first and have more pleasure. I am getting there. Thank you so much for your message.

It's so true what Anita says! When I think back to all the truly beautiful people I've ever seen. (Beautiful in spirit.) {There's not that many.} Looking back, they NEVER engaged in confrontation or any kind of negativity. They always see the "Positive" in their surroundings and forecasts. There's something to this LAW OF ATTRACTION "Thing". Thank-You Anita. -Bill Howes.

Hearing her say this brings me joy cause i at times im not sure of my self. But hearing her say the same things i was just thinking yesterday. Make me think im on the right path.

Do not judge yourself for not forgiving yet. Love self unconditionally. Charge your own battery

Anita I want to thank you for helping me understand what is going on everyone thinks I'm losing it but I knew in my heart it was him.

meditation can be any activity that produces awareness, loving kindness, and appreciation: can be walking, seeing nature, prayer, journaling, etc. I get more anxiety trying to sit in a meditation position, getting disappointed that I cant breathe correctly etc. But I asked myself "what does bring me the feelings and awareness that I seek with traditional sitting mediation?" And my answer was that all my life I have gotten great enjoyment and clarity from long nature walks, and writing. Thanks for this helpful video.

Wow Anita, it's like we know each other from childhood. Empath. People pleaser, doormat....but no more...still working on it....work in progress

You don't know how much I needed to hear this today! Hello from England ❤❤

Anita, Never heard anyone putting it out so CORRECTLY! Thank you!

I have listened to this video several times over the recent years Single most powerful message Anita is a true Godsend Her messages resonate so much She takes the difficulty out of all of it; we don’t have to spend hours pouring over spiritual books, do lessons, spend loads of money attending seminars, pray every day for fear of what will happen if we don’t It’s all just about love I don’t think anyone has ever said it so clearly that this is not about what we are not giving to other people (which is what so many say) but about focusing first and foremost on loving ourselves which will then automatically trickle down to other people Thank you, Anita, from the bottom of my heart You book Dying to be Me and the lessons you learned I read and listen to so often and esp again now after emotional upset Thank you, truly. You truly saved me from a lifetime of hurt, emotional trauma still there from childhood and so much more Thank you

Hi, I am form the Czech republic and I really appreciate what you are doing for all of us

Thank you!! I've been a doormat until I had no energy to even get out of bed. And when I got sick all family and friends turned on me because I couldn't give of myself anymore. Wow, made me vow to never show loving kindness to another person ever. That blocked the flow of love in, because no love out=no love flow at all. Sickness is very real, energy vampires are real. Last few years I kept asking myself how sick and fat do I have to get, and how far away do I have to move for people to stop draining me dry so much that I feel like I don't have a single ounce of energy left? I've been learning from this Jesus guy on Divine Truth channel here, but this video is GOLD. Thank you!!!

Omg thank you Anita! For so long I have been trying to be loving and forgiving of people who are MEAN to me and have beaten myself up for not feeling the love! This makes so much more sense! I love you!

My poem about light........enjoy. I have light, I like to shine. You too have light, But you like mine. When I shine bright, You want me to not. You need to shine your light, Or have you forgot? You have light. I love what you do Anita, thanks x

I will only engage with those who are loving and appreciative towards me

Anita- every single time I hit a sad, hard place my soul always guides me to YOU. Your beautiful words, insight and love always reminds me of the truth I have forgotten. I am in tears with gratitude and appreciation for you and having been guided to you. I have been loving you for YEARS and have never felt that I’ve had enough of your beautiful light. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. So happy your are more “out there” with your light on RU-vid now- It’s been such a gift.

You're such an inspiration to millions of people globally,I think I'm an imphath though I have so much to learn,people take advantage of the way I am,I'm mostly grateful to the universe for giving your life back.

I haven’t been well lately, but Anita’s messages always fill me with hope. I’m so glad she’s around, no matter what my outcome is.

Prob one of the single most enlightening messages. Resonates so v much.

I so needed to hear this. My lightbulb was barely flickering.

I am so glad you came back so you can help educate me/us with Ah Ha Moments. Someone told me the word educate literally means "To take care of yourself from Within! (Possibly Greek or Roman) I am being inspired in S. New Mexico. I love the Simple Profound Effective Wisdom. An appreciating listener! Jessie Fawn

Thank you for your message, your book came to me when I wanted to give up, I was recovering from brain injuries cause by a careless driver that run me over with his pickup truck, I was alive but not living, my panics attacks and anxiety were almost 24/7 I have never experience anything like that in my life before, my husband became my voice, since my speech was affected by the injuries, he too have to stop working we pretty much lost everything too, but by the grace of God, your book and so many others inspirational people I am still here, I still struggle but not as I used too,. God bless

Thanku Anita, I have felt unloved from family etc, when you hear advice from someone else sometimes it help's, I have 1 friend my husband . I'm learning to love myself as much as I can. I will only engage with people who generally love me for me. and not use me.

Thank you Anita from Arizona.

I feel that this video is very useful because Anita talks from her heart. I really think that one thing that make us miserable is fear and charging the batteries, like you said Anita , is the way that this fear goes away. Thank you Anita and many blessings for these extraordinary and useful videos for the development of humanity in love, prosperity and health.

I am Japanese, I was moved by your story！I am a healer. My problem is gone!! I greatly appreciate you!!

Thank you for saying that we don't need to focus on what triggered us or what our issue is. People pleasers struggle with that too much already. I love the idea of keeping myself charged, my light bright, and letting the rest work itself out. ❤🌞

Thank you so much for your clarity and preciseness of expression. Love from Austria 😊 Dagmar

I needed to listen again !! I forgot and got lost . I feel like this is a life saving video. You have put forgiveness the best way I have ever heard. I have let my life be pulled down so much trying to forgive abusive people in my life. I now can move forward and really heal.

Wow !! Amazing wisdom! Thank you 🤩🙏🫶😇💜🪷

You're so sweet and supportive...!

Thank you, Anita! This video is especially meaningful to me. One thing I realized in myself about being a people pleaser is that it can make you become a very angry and resentful person. All of the things you said in this videos and many other of your videos are worth more than gold to me! I've been listening to you for about 5 yrs now and I am so grateful to the Universe for connecting me with people like you. I have since been on a path of healing and reconnecting with who I really am. Hugs and love to you from me.

Hello from Washington state Anita : ) I adore you and your videos are truly life saving and wonderful! As a recovering doormat I think this is a fantastic, important and so helpful!! It's so hard to decipher all the spiritual info out there...I've heard/thought that the challenging, cruel, hurtful people were my teachers...to teach me to be loving to those who aren't towards me. It's taken me decades to learn what you are saying, and I'm better at loving myself enough now to shield myself from those who are hurtful, judgmental and negative towards me. As an empath, it's taken me a lifetime to learn what your teaching, but it's finally working, and I love myself enough to do what it takes to be myself and not need others approval. This is BIG! I work every day now to keep my own light bright, nurture my self, do my art and keep connected to the Creator of All. I also have also come through cancer, and went into the light during surgery, and am grateful for those lessons I've learned. You inspire me constantly! I know your teaching the truth for our spirits. Keep up the AWESOME message you send. I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Thank you so much….😍love this SO much….just what I needed to hear.

I am an empath and always feel like i don't want to disappoint people

Thank you! Empower myself to share the light! I love that!

So very true ! Thank you so much! Your loving guidance through these videos is healing & helping me a lot. I thank you to God all along.

You are so helpful. You always share the most important insightful & healing. I am loving you truth. Thank you. 😊

Omg it’s without a doubt the most inspirational video I’ve ever seen thank you soooo much!!💖 so frustrating to thumbs up only once it deserves more 😻

From Denmark, Scandinavia, yes can totally relate, used to be a doormat, but learned to say no which made me not very popular and the dark sheep of my family. Totally agree it is about total self love and letting go of the need for validation.

Anita thank you for sharing your wonderful light! ❤️ I truly enjoy listening to your encouragement and uplifting conversations. Thank you 😊 💓

I so wish this video had been around 35 years ago. Thank you.

This is BIG news!! I am so happy that you put this video out, because I've been struggling with this issue. I love your mantra! Reminds me of another one...." Go where you are celebrated, not merely tolerated" from a pioneer woman Nellie Cashman. Thank you a million times! It is a big lesson for me, a recovering people pleaser. You MAKE A DIFFERENCE ANITA!!!

Thank you Anita Moorjani, there's much wisdom in your words and vision. One of the great mysteries I found in my life, which holds much humour too, is the discovery that before I'm able to love unconditionally, I need to move through my own shadows in a way that I acknowledge the truth of where I find myself in, the truth of it, wholeheartedly. Only when I am fully present in where I am, I'm able to leave that place and move on, enter a new place. In other words, when I'm in resentment, I need to accept that truth, that state of being and all that it holds in its folds, sort of chew on it and digest it, even enjoy it as an attachment that takes time to let go. That's freedom of expression, see what I mean? That concept isn't about joy, laughter and jubilees, it's also about welcoming truth as a friend in the exploring of my shadows and seeing them for what they are, how they've manifested themselves. Forgiveness toward these parts of me is the portal to the affinity within my own heart for myself. From that foundation, unconditional love for another living being is possible. It's a natural process that can't be controlled by the mind. One's whole being, blood, sweat and tears plus laughter are the props on the stage of one's life. All that is suppressed forms the shackles that holds freedom of expression imprisoned. And so, no other person can offer instant solutions in that realm. It seems that one must be the seed, the growth, the gardener and the fruit, all in one go, in order to learn and move in love and life. The company of others who are in the same boat is a support and inspiration, to shine one's sparkle and share it with others.

Hi from Jordan, love this inspirational talk 🙏❤️

dear Anita, you are gift for our world! I love you and never get tired listening to your lectures. ! really really excellent lectures !

I am 70 years old woman form Poland being a doormat for family members and strangers since my childhood. Looking back it is hard for me to believe that was SOOOOOOOOOOO stupid and naive and even the "closest" family can be so merciless....I was the one to be used and abused. Very sad life In consequence ......

It’s all a “play” that’s going on. Just observe it & understand and re-center yourself when you start to get emotionally involved. It helps conserve your energy (we’ve finite amount of it) & slowly you begin to get less affected as time goes on. My mantra is loving the Universal Mother, Kali😊💐Om Kali💐🙏

I am in the process now,, being sick with cancer, I am learning to love myself unconditionally, it's all about me. Thank you so much!

I so do recognize what you're saying! Trying to please everyone out of fear and questioning myself the whole time. I also came to the same conclusion: the hell with trying to love and forgive everyone, i have to put myself first. I don't have to keep seeing people that don't care about me, even if they are family. Even if the whole world thinks otherwise. This insight relieved me so much. There is a big trap indeed in "spirituality" concerning forgiveness. But in the Dao, i also found a verse about garding yourself like a fortress! This and your video are really heartening to me, as i get so much resistance in real life when i chose for myself (meaning recharging myself and not wasting my time anymore, i'm not going to live forever). Sadhguru also says you have to distinct between your actions and your being: in your actions you need to discern. In your being you can include everyone and everything (i'm paraphrasing). I'm not there yet, but i think, as you point out, it comes automatically when we concentrate on our inner wellbeing. I think you could also call this grounding. And if our foundation is strong, we can include more and more, and we can even forgive sadism and all the most horrible things humans are capable of. I don't know if you follow this metaphore, but i saw a video of "little Krishna", where he and his friends were attacked by a giant bull. He just swallowed it and they were saved from it. I thought this was a beautiful illustration of inclusion. I hope one day i will be capable of doing the same. Thank you for the mantra: "I will only engage with those who are loving and appreciative towards me". I'm not there yet, but i'm defenitely on my way. Keep up the good work!

Thank you dear,it is needed

🦋Anita🦋 you are a gift from God ❣️❣️❣️Thank you so so Very much for this much appreciated divinely placed VIDEO, you always lift my Spirits❣️❣️❣️I'm seeing this Video just now but of course at the PERFECT time!!! I have 2 daughters that I Love so Much & I was raised in a children's home(lots of abuse) and so I did make a lot mistakes( & I've tried to Apologize as much as i can, actually just in the last few years ive let go of a lot of Guilt & of courseim an Empath)in raising them I was more their friend & kinda let them run the show. So they are now 28 & 34 & I know that they do love me & I love them. But for years now they have not really respected me mostly cuz I wasn't respecting myself. But with my husband's support I have finally realized I'm not doing me or them any good by letting this happen. So with lots of prayer 🙏 I started a conversation(texting I'm usually better at writing I sometimes get too upset talking) with one of my daughters after we all had a disagreement Last week & not for the whole time but some of it I felt (just us 3) very much ganged up on. They have done that to me several times. It's just not playing fair & they blame me for the personality traits that they don't like about themselves. And I Realized that I don't have to live like this anymore. I deserve to be treated with love & respect & i want to do the same in return. I still Love them and I'm sure that we'll be able to Heal & work things out. So I'm PRAYING for Divine Right Outcomes to happen in the Healing of our Hearts & our Relationships ❣️Thank you Again Anita & Much Love to you and your family & the same goes to all of you EMPATHS & PRAYING that we all Heal Emotionally 🙏 WWG1WGA 🌸💐💜🌸💐💜🌸💐💜🌸💐💜🌸💐💜🌸💐💜🌸💐💜🌸💐💜🌸💐💜🌸💐💜

Thank you for sharing, Anita! You are so wise. Greetings from Seattle!

I actually feel like most spiritual teachings pushes us towards the ones that caused us pain, so I think what you said about the social media bad comment becoming the focus is exactly what we do outside of social media, the people that caused us pain have most of our focus, when in fact we should be caring for ourselves and shining the light to all people around us. I am just reviewing this video all day, I need it , I need to imprint this new freeing and yet loving new pattern because I can see how this way we can bring more light into the world. Thank you Anita!

Yes, I'm an empath..I'm aware of being a doormat. But...Your videos have helped me to Love myself and be bold. I'm not judging myself. Those are not used to this New Me...are confused.... it's working. Thank you for these videos. You have a gift. Thank you for all you do. This " lightbulb " metaphor is a beautiful concept. You're helpin5so many empaths

Wow. I needed to see this. This makes so much sense. "I will only engage with people who are loving and appreciative of me." I have just recently decided I will only deal with people who have my best interest at heart.

"I am a self-recharging light." I like it.

Hi Lovely Lady, I'm from San Jose, CA & was raised in Kentucky. The whole 'Southern Belle' culture encourages the doormat in women. I have fought it all my life & have improved significantly. Still, I fight doormat behavior constantly. Talk about a life lesson!

Thank you Anita for helping me to eliminate feelings that i'm flawed.

Hi Anita I am Dave Lee UK. I have been a door mat all of my 66 years of life. I love your videos

You are the best, Anita!

SHINE ON ANITA!!!

Thank you I really appreciate all your positive input enjoy🐢❤️ North Dakota California Florida

I love this so much - thank you

Thank you so much!!! Greetings from small beautiful country Luxemburg! I relate to everything you teach... it is soooo difficult to love unconditionally and not judging myself...

You’ve reaffirmed.... validated the gentle voice in my head (The Holy Spirit which guides me) that’s been telling me “just work on yourself, work on being the brightest light you can be and if they can see that change in you, it might be the spark that transforms them as well” whenever I think of my FOO.

I had the same experience as yours, and I made life changes, but I found myself recycling because I didn’t eliminate certain items like self - sacrifice / refusing to hold on to my wealth ( I give it all away ) ~ and I maximized my RELENTLESS GIVING & DOING, it took a tragic accident to stop me., for like a minute.~ Now, I’m taking care of me. Finally !! / I’ve heard of your book before, & of course I am a big fan of Wayne Dyer. 🤗❤️💋 So glad I found you today, on RU-vid. Watching from NYC. Love & Light 😉😍💃🏻💫

Hello, Anita Ma'am loads of gratitude for you. Came across your Twitter post and liked your content so much that started viewing your youtube wonderful and insightful videos. Your enlightenment should reach to a larger audience and we all should get life's insights from it. Thank you. Namastey !

Hi! I'm Hitomi from Japan. I love to watch your videos. and I love to read your books! I've been reading your book Dying to be me about 5 years ago. I read it everyday, and I write sentences down on my note book so that I can get deeper understanding what you are meaning. Thank you so much for sharing beautiful messages!! I can tell why I study English is so that I can hear you directly!

Hello from Michigan 🙏 thank you so much for sharing. I was a door mat too as a young mother of four. My whole family turned from me six years ago. My heart is so broken but I’m torn with having to let them go and walk away!

YOU SO GET ME AND I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE SHARING AND ENCOURAGING THOSE WHO NEED YOU!!! LIKE ME🤫😊THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR LIGHT IN A DIM WORLD! MY BODY AND MIND HAVE BEEN AFFECTED FROM GIVING SO MUCH AND PEOPLE PLEASING! FROM OKLAHOMA... A NEW FRIEND TO YOU.. Engrid mother of 4... and a love that's been hidden for years.. broken down in full body and mind doing but my will to get out of this.. it's awesome... I'm a tree hugger and people will use and hurt you if you don't focus on you!!!! BIG HUGS

This is so useful!❤I love the metaphor with a battery,it is easy to understand and practical.THANKS!😊

Thank you! I’m a Colombian living in Holland for many years… my English it’s not so good but I understand everything you are saying!! I feel deeply your message!

Thank you from France for your teaching and the pertinence of your analogy with a battery. I will try to charge my battery to illuminate myself and my loved ones. The others who systematically judge negativly as you say , it is their problem from now...🙏🙏

I m so happy to found you!!! I love your videos Anita and I will start loving myself now,unconditionally without judging myself. Tons of Love from India for you💖💐🌺

How do I even begin to express my gratitude? I'm sending you so much love. Thank you for this gift 💜

Thank you Anita! Your advice about people who trigger me was exactly what I needed to hear right now 💜

Hi Anita!!! I found you okinawa Japan. im okinawan Japanese. i just start reading you book. and thank you sharing yoyr experience. i needed to hear just on time. since im little i thought sensitive is not good. it is weak person... i always try to please my mother. i was scared to bing myself. i was afraid to have cancer again. but now im not afraid. i accept my sensitiveness being who i am. Thank you so much . Your message give me strength💪

Hi Anita, I am from Vlaardingen The Netherlands. Thank you so much for spreading and sharing your experiences. ❤

You are speaking about my very own experience!!! I've been going through "emotional fatigue" because emotionally and energetically I over worry and am far too emotionally invested in what's going on in certain other people's lives. Their level of feeling ok or happy I treat perhaps too importantly to the detriment and neglect of my own life and priorities. Thank you so much for these incredibly helpful, insightful, and inspiring videos! I look forward to many more in the future!!!

Greetings from Myanmar! I love you Anita! ❤❤❤

Karl Lagerfeldt was asked in an interview why he turns away from people on the spot. He said because he doesn't waste his time with people who betrayed him, conned him or deliberately hurt him so he walks away immediately. I find that so refreshing of him to say. I needed to hear that when the interview video was published.

Hello from Arizona I LOVE how good you make me feel. Every time I watch one of your enlightening videos, I just feel lighter ♥ Thank you.

Your comment Rocks! The statement that began with, "If you're a parent, a teacher, a healer, etc...half Your Work is Half Done if you... " and then you spoke of lifting ourselves up, charging our own batteries, caring for ourselves, making ourselves happy. It was very well put. A lightbulb moment. How much harder it all is when we do not make us a priority!! Also, So well said was your advice on being fearless about money!

Anita ji you are absolutely correct.......This is what I like to hear.

U saved my mind today. Thank you. 🙂

Always on point for where I'm at. My Sunday mornings set me up for the week ahead. Your beautiful voice cheers me no end. Thank you dear Anita.

❤❤reading your book is changing my life!! I finally understand ME!! Learning to love me is freeing Me to love others!! Thank you so much!!!

Beautiful thoughts & such an encouragement ❤️ really loved it ! Thank you for sharing such powerful truth with simplicity...

Anita Moorjani. You are a gift. Thank you so much, I love your message.

You are Amazing I have the same fear, Money and I knew the answer, i have to learn not to go against my higher self and now your advice can help me do that. Thank you so much 💓 you are such a relaxing person. I find listening to you is a great way to recharge my energy. 😇