That picture of the woman throwing the sandals is a powerful piece of a primary source. I love looking at contemporary artwork of the history being studied
It’s not exactly a primary source. It’d be a secondary source since it’s a painter reporting on the fact. A primary source would be like documents tracking the number of divorces that year or whatever.
@@j.kaimori3848 Uh...no? Primary source would be dealing directly with the people involved during the actual event, secondary source would be recreating the event/taking the information from records or from others talking _about_ the event. Primary vs secondary (vs tertiary etc) is about the degree of separation from the actual events.
I was staying in Kyoto few years ago. I was just wandering around town and came across this shrine with a long line of women. It was pretty neat. Late that night I went to a bar and there were two gentlemen drinking beer. One of them asked me how I liked Kyoto and I asked them about the shrine I found. A quiet drunk man in the corner speaks up and says "it's a shrine for women." He then ordered another beer. Im like oh cool thats interesting. 5 min later He says "it's a shrine to pray for divorce." He sat there quietly for another 15 minutes and ordered another beer. He speaks up again and says "my wife went to that shrine". And then we all bought another round and held up our glasses
It's still better that she was praying for divorce, than picking specific herbs to be used as spices on a dinner only meant for her husband... But divorce pretty much always sucks, it's rare for those to go smoothly, no matter who inmates it.
I read a book about women who wanted divorce in Edo period and how they "persuaded" their husbands to give them one - one was spending money like crazy, burning candles, taking long hot baths and adding not enough salt to pickled foods so they got rotten. Another one was so desperate that she run the town... naked. So many creative ways to finally break free, huh. The book is fictional, but I strongly believe that women might have been clever enough to use similar techniques.
@@RebeccaOre pennsylvania pretty much didn't until the 1980s. you could file, but both parties had to agree the marriage was unsaveable and sign, and there wasn't a no-fault divorce before then. If your husband refused to sign the papers, you were just married forever, unless you went to another state that did things differently and lived there long enough for residency, or managed to hide somewhere from him for three years to count as separated to get divorced without needing his signature to get it. also quite a few forms of abuse weren't considered "marital misconduct" enough to qualify for divorce back then, and if you had kids they were likely to refuse to allow the divorce "for the children." things are better now, not as good as they should be, but better than they were even then at least.
Probably somewhat based in reality. My grandma did that when she was engaged to a really old man as a young woman. He didn’t want to leave her even if she made him broke so she ran away
Thank fuck for no-fault divorce. Seriously, there should be a sign saying "divorce ends BAD marriages, it's a GOOD thing that BAD MARRIAGES aren't allowed to fester"
People look at me sideways when I congratulate someone on ending a long-term relationship. But what am I supposed to do? Tell them it's sad that they got out of something that clearly wasn't working? Better to have a bad breakup than a bad relationship.
Exactly! You let that shit fester and that's how you end up with a murder case or suicide. A divorce lets both parties come out alive which is a far better alternative.
Temples were really multifunctional weren’t they? Divorce centrals, local warrior monk castle, pain in the butt to politicians, you name it! What would’ve happened if a daughter of the Tokugawa went to one after being married to the imperial family to allow her family control over the courts🤔
From 'reading' the comic Usagi Yojimbo, thoroughly historically researched by its creator, Stan Sakai, I learned that all the hundreds or thousands of shrines dotted around the landscape, usually on much travelled routes, serve as potential sleeping place for weary travellers. Rather similar to the mountain huts in the Alp Mountains, probably in other mountains also. Although these mountain huts also store some supplies I believe to aid climbers who cannot move because of bad weather. The general code of use is that you leave the mountain hut as it was when you first entered it. Meaning you will have to buy supplies that you used up and replace them.
@@AudieHollandot sure how that’s possible considering you’re probably stranded. How exactly are you supposed to lug stuff back there, considering that the only reason you’re in the hut is because you’re lost and the weather is bad? And yeah, in all the folklore I’ve read, those shrines’ main purpose seems to be a place for someone to sleep in on the side of the road.
@@ferretyluv The situattion with the mountain huts is very different. It's now, modern times, so if people use them, it's not problem for them to restock them. Only when the weather is really bad it can be a problem. But after the storm has passed, probably after the person has returned home, they can still have the hut restocked by the locals and those who used it pay for that.
Gotta say, 3 years of temple life to seperate from an abusive relationship, would probably be beneficial. Calm situation after the special hell that is domestic violence would probably help if it was bad enough to give historical Japanese DV PTSD. I have DV PTSD, and it's a figurative pain in the ass. A temple stay would have helped a bit with decompressing from the situation. But personally, I'd rather no one of any gender suffer through the hell of DV.
I was thinking this too. Coming out of a bad relationship, you have a place to stay, something to eat and something to do, plus people around to chase off your ex or any flying monkeys if they try to come knocking.
Yeah, so in my tribe(I'm Native), a woman could divorce her husband by placing his belongings (tools/gear/clothing/ect) outside the home for 3 days and nights. And if he didn't collect it and go back to his family by then? Oh, well it was lit ablaze, and the woman was free to remarry after. And about the ex? Well, depending on the reason for divorce, there was a high possibility that he couldn't remarry.
@@younglingmaid2526 Cherokee, Eastern band specifically. There's an important distinction between the two bands. Also this is an older practice, just fyi.
Ive heard there’s a general trend of native tribes traditionally having better rights and autonomy for women than in many other parts of the world. Maybe not every tribe, but the average is higher than elsewhere. I do wonder what historic forces led to that development compared to many parts of Eurasia I believe the Viking era of some Nordic cultures also had this practice too. It was a pretty warlike culture and the rights of women didn’t apply to all women (since they practiced slavery and female infanticide), but adult women of the culture had more autonomy than in other parts of Europe for the day
Women have had more power, historically, than people normally think. For example, women in Medieval England frequently ran local businesses and could own property. Your social class actually had more bearing on your opportunities in life than your gender did unless you were rich. Rich women were far more limited in what they were allowed to do, but if you asked any of the lower class women whether they'd want to live the life of a miserable noblewoman or an empowered peasant woman, they'd probably choose the former.
@@SkeloperchMaslow’s hierarchy is in play here I’d expect; rights are great but not as important as significantly lower chances of starving or freezing to death.
The Viking age of Norway wasn’t terrible for women either. Norwegian women were still considered to be inferior to men even if they were of a fairly high class, but the law mostly protected them from sexual harassment and they could initiate divorce proceedings. They could also own land and businesses and do religious work.
@@JasTheSassYes, and in ancient Norse cultures, rape of a free woman was also punished severely, you could get tortured or killed if you got caught doing it. Not so much for the women taken in raids, but daughters of locals had a right to not get raped, and it wasn't considered a woman’s fault if men couldn't control themselves. In many places it was possible to use your wife as a birthing machine, because your sisters, aunts and grandmothers lived in the same house: Husband wasn't dependent on his wife alone to take care of the kids, so you could basically abuse her and just give her children to be raised by your mother and sisters. One of the reasons women got their rights back, was because our households got smaller: Wives had to help in raising their children and take care of the house mostly on their own, without other women's help... and it really isn't smart to treat badly the only woman who made your food and raised your children.
I feel sad that I'm like "that's so easy! It's awesome that there were so many options for abused women to escape!" because in a lot of European countries throughout history, there have been almost no freaking options for abused women to get a divorce. 19th century Japan was very forward thinking compared to a lot of other places in the 19th century.
Uhhhh did you forget the part that there's only two of them that they have to pay and spend several years of their life in a religious temple? Meanwhile, the dude gets to just sign a piece of paper and keep the kids?
@@teresawelter7530 Yep The creator of the video @Linfamy really put it in such nice and funny words 😁 ( I love his humor 🤩 ) Sometimes husbands care too much for wifes to understand lol 😂😂😂
I remember this coming up in an episode of Samurai Champloo, but instead of the husband going to brothels all the time, it was the wife. Because the husband had forced her to go into prostitution to pay off his debts... Anyway, Jin decided to help her run away to a monastery so she could seek divorce.
The explanation that Japanese women cut their hair short as part of the procedure to divorce from their husbands might also explain why some Japanese girls cut their hair short after a break-up. Additionally, it may be the reason why Lilith is almost always depicted with short hair in Japanese media since it might symbolise her divorce from Adam. Although I can't tell if her short hair stems from those traditions, or depictions of Lilith in Japan are influenced by Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion (that might also explain why Lilith in Japanese media is usually depicted with blue hair), if it's the latter then that is such a bizarre coincidence.
Well... Rei IS an incarnation of Lilith. Kind of. It's more like Lilith manifests herself in Rei's form, and since Eva is such a touchstone work, later depictions of Lilith reference her appearance when she and Rei merged.
@@JinxedPixie88 Amazing what one piece of art can do to permanently alter the public's perception of one character. Although, in the case of Lilith, this is not the first time this has happened to her. Paintings in the romanticism period such as "Lady Lilith" popularised the depiction of her with long red hair in the west; and when paired up with her Japanese depictions with short blue hair, they coincidently form a red oni, blue oni pairing.
When women go through major life changes they usually cut their hair. It’s not a strictly Japanese thing to do. Women in America will cut their hair after they get married, after they have a child, after they get a new job, or after they get a divorce.
@@t.k.griffin1315yes I think this is a common theme across many cultures. I personally cut my hair when I wanted to reflect outside that I had become free inside… for many different scenarios. Experience and memories are attached to your hair as it grows. When you cut it, it feels like you’re starting fresh. You still have the old memories but they are no longer an outward part of you, and you let go of attachment to them. That’s how I always interpreted it.
This is how it should be for kids, don't understand why in this day and age the government will still try to forced children to go back to their abusive parents. Evil
This feels like an appropriate place to put this: **ALL DIVORCE IS GOOD** I'm just saying: a perfectly happy couple doesn't just trip over a divorce. "Oops, took a wrong turn at Albuquerque, guess we're divorced now." But the way some people talk about no-fault divorce you'd think that having that option open causes people to end marriages for shits and giggles. They don't even consider that maybe you _don't_ actually want to be married to someone who will end a marriage for fun. They'll say shit like "women will divorce over men not doing chores" but...like...do you really want to be married to someone like that? do you really want to be married to someone who takes your vows so unseriously that, if provided with the opportunity, they will dump you over insignificant problems? Sounds like you're going to have problems eventually and might as well save yourself the trouble. Find someone who you vibe with better. I mean, have some self respect, geez. (and for the record: a spouse refusing to help care for the home that you are co-habitating isn't an insignificant problem, just putting that out there. Obviously unless you've jointly agreed that one person will handle all of it. Yes, I know, some people have that dynamic where one works and the other handles the chores and its all hunky-dory. Its called consent and communication, but not everyone has that in their marriage and that is a perfectly valid reason to chuck that marriage in the trash.)
I like your reasoning. I think a lot of people do not take their vows seriously, and it's not unreasonable to want a divorce if they are not being a partner. And I think the people that whine about getting divorced over 'little reasons' are probably not mature enough for marriage. Or they married a dud who divorced them for silly reasons. XD
@@TomFranklinXIf she's getting paid less than you it's either a) because pf the wage gap b) she is in a lower paying job or position than you. Also the half and half thing only exists if you have sole custody of the kids and the other parent has to pitch in their share (which is 10% generally not 50% like you're touting it to be) or is a housewife who had no method of income of their own. You'll only lose the rights to your kids if you were an exceptionaly bad father otherwise by court regulations it's 50/50 custody between the two for the sake of the children.
This is comforting to know. As a survivor of domestic violence I know first-hand how incredibly difficult it is to separate & end the relationship. Scary too. I'm so glad that this was provided for it just makes me feel good & happy. Thank you °~•.♡.•~°
Built a bookshelf, finished filling it, spent all afternoon playing on the switch with friends, then stopped to eat and call it a night. Only to find a Linfamy uploaded, this day just keeps getting better I swear.
Divorce is always important, even if there are kids in the crossfire. My parents only got married when my mom got pregnant with me, so i wouldnt be illegitimate when i was born. They divorced before I even knew what baby food was. I have never seen them in the same building together. Never seen them side by side. But they still managed to have a decade long war over me, and i was forced to leave the life i knew to go love with my dad at 8. Even though the constant fighting and abuse still affects me, i can confidently say that divorce is good even for a child. Otherwise i would have been stuck with him my whole life instead of having the chance to pick "the other side"
The hairpin with hair reminds me of Ruyi's Royal Love where Ruyi cut her hair to end her marriage with Qianlong. I'm glad women that are in bad marriages have a chance to divorce. (Even though its easier said then done.)
Israel has had to implement a law to force men to sign getim, divorce decrees. There's a detail in Halachah (Jewish law) that states that a wife requires a get. Some men refused to give them despite abandoning their families, and now their options are to flee Israel and keep running until his body turns up, go to prison, or sign the get. Keep in mind that the agunot (chained women, women without getim) are profoundly restricted in what they can do, depending on how Orthodox they are. It's messy. Ironically, the law originated to prevent spouses from ghosting.
So their was a sexist rule that not all human beings were equal and some were sentient items just to rip apart no matter what!? Fuck all Abrahamic faiths religions and beliefs. Its a mockery of human rights.
@jebes909090 damn you sound insecure af 😂 we can acknowledge that a huge amount of women were oppressed (more women than men btw) without bringing up that some people had it good. It's strange that you feel the need to bring up information that's completely irrelevant to the point made just because you're uncomfortable with the fact that factually women had it harder than men in almost all of history. The times when it went the opposite way are few and far between. If it makes you uncomfortable, maybe work to be a good guy not to try to undermine people who have empathy for women 😂
Yes, even if divorce is usually sad thing, it helps to finally escape from abusive woman or man. The worst thing that could happen when divorce will turn sour and your wife (or husband) will start to accusing you of things you never committed and never thought about. If you have vastly different amount of wealth or kids are involved (the worst part) it is frequently gets messy. Don't rush into marriage because your husband/wife is hot, rich, famous etc, give it time. The main question to answer, what my wife/husband will do when things will get hard, when things will get boring, when there will be misunderstandings and conflicts of interests. I said not if, I said when. If you have any doubts if you wife/husband will leave you on a spot when something like that happened - don't marry them. Probably don't even date them. Imagine you are getting diagnosed with some horrible disease, you lose your job/business and can't recover for long time. What your partner will do?
Stuff like this makes me wonder why I haven’t given up on life and spiraled into cynicism and mysanthopy. Yet somehow despite it all. I still believe. Stupid hope.
Ditch the hope and live live just cause you can and care for yourself and your needs as much as possible (and I'm not suggesting to do so at the detriment of others, ofcourse). I feel you. It's crazy rough here and men are trying a bit more in some places, but it's still mostly quite a disaster. It takes generations to mend all the damage that past time bigotry has caused within societies. And we're still producing more as we go, so things go at snail pace. We cannot afford to give even a single inch to bigoted behaviours. Tolerance stops at intolerance. And there is space and there are ppl who get that, so find your tribe, be with them, and drop the hate into the same bin as hope and allow yourself to be and to observe life from a quiet internal place. And if some day we can no more, then so be it. We've worked very hard and we've contributed on every day that we spent without starting wars out of vengeance (sth. they do all the f*ing time, damn it. So much so that the count of days without any war globally are an embarrassing pitiful account to that). Find your calm place. When you spiral negatively, rest. If it gets worse through rest, do something simple and very doable and do it so mindfully that there's no room to spiral anywhere, between a breath and another breath. May you be well.
@@MandatedReporter i would hate to think who would get child custody. If the husband was a terrible person, no doubt they wouldn’t be much better of a father
This is honestly the kind of thing every country should have. I don't know what power churches have when it comes to caring for the abused, but if they aren't places of refuge for those in abusive situations, not just marriage, they definitely should be.
Sadly as for a few churches I know (not all of these btw) They'll discourage seeking divorce and refuge away from the husband, and say "maybe you two need marriage counseling" but specifically from the church. This tends to end with the "therapist" telling the wife to stay, to be a better wife, to be there for the husband more.
It's very common to have international organizations around the world providing shelter to women and helping them with divorce procedures. It may not be in every corner of the world but in many. But there's so freaking much abuse that their capacities are ..... ///orz///
5:06 I love the little guy on the side looking at the other two talking to each other. He looks so adorable I think all of your little cartoons are adorable.
Will any of these be retroactively made into numbered "History of Japan" (Edo Period) episodes? It's anxiety-inducing that the official series currently ends at Episode 93 rather than Episode 100. 😅
In 1955, my aunt could not divorce her abusive husband (N.Y. ) She was able to go to NM, establish residency, after 6 wks she filed for uncontested divorce.
Japanese culture is really very interesting especially in the turn of the century. I’m sure the women were very happy to have some protection and have some sort of option which woman around the word have struggled with even till this day.
Don't ever give that up unless you meet someone who makes your life objectively AND subjectively better overall. And even then, consider carefully before you decide on cohabitation. I love my spouse so fully and it's very much worth it. But I feel like 99% of marriages (if not more) are borne out of convenience/obligation/societal expectation/emotional neediness, and not just like...realizing you're super happy together and want to make each other's lives better.
Engelhardt is a German name and consists of 2 parts (as most of them do): Engel is the modern German word for "angel", but in a historic context it can also refer to the tribe of the Angles, after whom England is named. They moved over to Great Britain from the northern German peninsula Anglia, along with the (German) Saxons and (Danish) Jutes in the 5th century. Some Angles (and Saxons and Jutes) stayed at home, so you can find people of those tribes in both places. Hardt, hardt, hard or hart means "strong" (like a warrior) and is obviously related to the English word "hard". An Engelhardt would either be a "strong Angle tribesman" (on his way to conquer the British mainland) or, if we take the more modern reading, a "strong angel", aka something like a "battle angel" kicking Hell's legions' asses under St. Michael's command. This used to be a first name in ancient times (before Christianisation), but also became a surname in (Christianised) medieval times. When it's used as a surname, there's a 99% chance, that it doesn't refer to Angles, but means "battle angel". Because surnames only became a thing, when the church was already in charge.
A woman's property was her own, before and after divorce. Things were more complicated with an adoptive husband who inherited land from his wife's family. That was handled through negotiations.
Maybe in case of pregnancy? There is old laws about women waiting more or less one year before getting remarried so that we are sure if she end up pregnant the baby is not from her ex husband. My other guess is that they stay at the temple to heal and have the time to think of what they wanted in life. And I guess free labor for the temple as a thank you?
The temple would be a place of refuge (like if the husband was violent, or even simply if the wife wanted to be able to be physically separate from her soon-to-be-ex-husband for personal comfort reasons since this was likely a very emotionally taxing time for her). This way the lady wouldn't need to immediately worry about finding safe lodgings and/or food and water once she left her spouse's household.
Oh I mentioned it, by default the man gets custody. However, it wasn't uncommon for negotiations to change that, or the man could be in a weak position and had to fight for custody.
Women all over the world have done this for as long as humans have existed. It’s cleansing and healing. Hair holds a lot of cultural and personal significance usually attached to memory, spirituality, relationships, and status. Cutting is a shedding of old and welcoming of new.
@@kissit012 I know in Iran they do something similar (usually as a protest). I'd just never seen this custom before I came to Japan and always wondered why.
I cut my hair after a breakup as a cathartic thing. It wasn’t a bald or ugly style: it was short, stylish, and sassy. It suited me and my state of mind.
Huh... I remember reading a book where there was a princess whose mother was being divorced by the father/emperor and had to shave her head and go to monastery, and the mom talked about how lucky she was/how she got off easy. Which in context, now makes some sense. Also in many women's shelters today, one can stay there for as long as needed to keep safe from abusive assholes
3:36 - I'd never heard of this before! It sounds like a wonder boon to women and it's really upsetting that the government cut that down to only two temples, which obviously not every woman could get to.
