How Do You Relate to Yourself in Your Struggles?

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Today I want to address a number of questions that have a common theme: how we relate ourselves in the midst of our brokenness, struggles and pain. If you are wanting to grow in your heart healing journey, what I share here the major importance of relating to yourself with greater kindness, patience and compassion.
The questions I address hit a number of areas:
- How to work through struggles with self-hate.
- What are the root issues that contribute to self-harm?
- Everyone else seems more joyful and free than I am. Why can't I get it together?
- Working through low moods and bad feelings.
- When shame and fear increase as you seek to move into new directions.
- Does God really love me in a way that He personally directs that love to me?
In each of these questions, I will show you how our battles bring an invitation to shift how we relate to ourselves, our thoughts and what we are going through.
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Disclaimer: The content published is for informational purposes. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in our material.
The resources given are not designed to practice medicine or give professional medical advice, including, without limitation, medical direction concerning someone's medical and mental health. Any resources given are not to be considered complete and does not cover all issues related to mental and physical health. In addition, any information given should not replace consultation with your doctor or any other mental health providers and/or specialists.

Опубликовано:

9 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 62

@DavidSandyOfficial 2 года назад

God doesn't guilt-trip us into submission of His will but rather it is His love that compells us.

@DavidSandyOfficial 2 года назад

I went through 3 months of constant fear with pain and nausea at the end of 2021. I could barely eat some days... however, it has deepened my relationship with Jesus because I have started to pursue truth and holding onto the truths about God's unending love and my secure identity as a child of God. I believe it is in these intense times of suffering that lies can be uprooted and truths can be implanted the deepest in the soil of the heart. I'm finally starting to break free from pornography and masturbation and having a peace of heart and mind. My simple prayer is that we all would pursue a deeper intimate relationship with Jesus. "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." The blood of Jesus is enough!

@dethornedrose 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing brother (:

@DavidSandyOfficial 2 года назад

@@dethornedrose 🤗🙏

@snobunni4808 Год назад

what a beautiful comment. This helped me tremendously❤️

@angelablain3846 2 года назад

I haven’t stopped trembling for weeks. I’ve wanted to panic and have thrown fits to God for Him to come and rescue me. But the truth is I’ve never truly been loved. Which is relational. Not instant. God help me and everyone here struggling. Thank God for this ministry. It’s the safest I’ve ever felt listening to a man in ministry.

@Laura-xt9ch 11 месяцев назад

I pray your doing better now

@jamieraegro 4 месяца назад

The way I got over this was to observe those you know who feel protected. Now! Really they're human. Gods love for YOU is as much more protective than humans. It's taken a lot of facing the truth. A lot of time alone with God. As I felt scolded every time I opened my Bible. So.. ! I'm studying only what Christ said. I'm the gospels. Then proverbs and psalms.

@EYMmusic 2 года назад

Thank you for being a blessing on my journey. I was really at a point where I couldn’t go on anymore. I’m seeing changes i’ve never seen in my life, and I cannot thank you enough for walking the walk with us. Much blessings 💖

@lovedream55 2 года назад

Amen

@CharMinsky 2 года назад

The degrading names I call myself. All my weakness, mental, emotional and spiritual. All my fault. Because I know better. This is what I have been told and been treated. In the journey of healing from narc ptsd and other abuses, lifelong. And I’m mean to god. It’s terrible. Every teardrop every day. Maybe some morning I’ll wake up, and do something not born of fear pain desperation supplication etc. yes I have many issues. I won’t accept kindness for myself. It’s strange, I’m so good for everyone else. Praying.

@DavidSandyOfficial 2 года назад

I recommend reading or listening to "The Bondage Breaker" by Neil Anderson. I also recommend reading the whole book of Psalms and ask God to speak personally and directly through His Word. It's not what you do that determines who you are, it's who you are that determines what you do. Take steps of faith with one more step each day.

@TheMidwestbear 2 года назад

I used to be the same and still struggle with it. But you need to love yourself the way God loves you because God is within you and by loving yourself you're loving them. I know it's easier said than done. A lot of negative self talk is demonic and praying to saint Michael really helps.

@Angiemiabeloved 2 года назад

I struggle with perfectionism and anxiety throughout my life. I’ve been more worst enemy during my school years back in the old days. The thoughts of regrets/bad decisions in university sometimes gets to me. You mentioned about love is patient and love is kind, it reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13 and I agree that we need to have patience with ourselves and with other people. I also suffered from impostor syndrome and I felt the need of being someone else. So I dealt with self-hate back then. But I’m free from impostor syndrome all thanks to God! Being kind to myself has been definitely a hard thing for me since I struggle with perfectionism, like I get hard on myself when my emotions all over the place and/or make a bunch of silly mistakes. It’s slowly getting better on this area! I actually needed this video.. because I know that I’m not alone in my struggles. You teach really well and I’m glad that you’re willing to help others and relate to other people’s emotions and struggles. Thank you so much Mark!

@deejustdee4097 2 года назад

Watching from Indonesia, in my journey right now healing from GAD and GERD, thank you brother Mark for being such a blessing! Our Abba Father bless you and your beautiful family.

@dethornedrose 2 года назад

This is 100% what I needed thank you so much Mark

@cassielatham5097 2 года назад

Mark's ministry has been instrumental in combating fear and recognizing that I am safe in Christ. This has allowed me to recieve God's healing work. It's amazing to understand that the world is not ending and my struggles are not a matter of life or death if I'm not fixed immediately.

@boopdoop2251 2 года назад

That last question I related too so hard, though I don’t believe it’s something only women need from their fathers but men too definitely. Thanks for your very helpful and kind hearted video!

@user-to8ni9jg8e 2 месяца назад

When u mentioned not looking at people and how it hurts them it blew my mind...its saying no love bc WE feel insecure.as tragic a reality,what a great miracle to not have to be alone in that or without a cure through what youve spoken.thanks for that and all your videos,they're incredibly specific to me,a believer with ocd.

@simeontown6693 2 года назад

Also experiencing Papa God’s personal love through relationship is important. As you continue getting close to Him and learning to hear his voice. He makes it personal!

@CharlieBass5 2 года назад

I have never thought I needed to be comforted.

@misaelvidrio Год назад

You said, "thoughts don't change really at a dramatic level until a new one replaces it." Wow this one right here gave me so much insight.

@shinconnie95 Год назад

Hi Mark, you spoke of having a shift after prayer. I have had this shift after listening to your videos. Thank you so much in helping everyone with the wisdom that you received in your healing. Praise the name of Jesus 🙏❤️

@kris5618 2 года назад

Thank you Mark for these kind of videos, keep it up 🙏👍very helpful video

@julietreagus7043 Год назад

This is some of the best council I've heard so good thank you Lord.

@TheMidwestbear 2 года назад

This is so important! I have always had ocd but developed scrupulosity with my new found faith. It's been very troubling but I'm working on my concept of God relationship with them. Every day gets better. Thank you, you're truly doing God's work. This is real Christianity.

@barbarahoon9321 2 года назад

Thanks so much Mark. Fantastic. I just came across this and exactly what I needed to hear. ♥️♥️🙏

@roccofelder1551 2 месяца назад

I want to truly from my heart to love God and to hate the enemy all in the mind

@JedStevens1234 2 года назад

Wow ! Mark what a great topic . Hopefully you will do many more on this . I def can relate to this as I am sure many others can . Going to watch this many times and meditate on it . Thank you so much !

@Flamingobear 8 месяцев назад

Such a good teaching! Praise God! Pastor Mark, it’d be so good if you could make a series on relating to yourself and one dedicated to self-esteem and how to have healthy self-esteem as a Christian. Thank you!

@DivineDianne 2 года назад

On the topic of tattoos, I believe that it is more conducive to healing if you only tattoo positive and uplifting things on yourself. I would personally never tattoo anything that reflects my past emotional pain. Pain is something I've experienced but it is not who I am. My pain does not define me. The tattoos that I choose to have, they glorify God and they are a testimony of God's goodness in my life.

@suej4430 2 года назад

Me too! Each Tattoo has a very significant marker kind of like in the old testament where they built altar of remembrance, to recall God‘s faithfulness & goodness. I got tattoo of a butterfly when God healed me a cancer. I have Isaiah 61 tattooed dove to remind me of Jesus ministry and our call as ambassadors. So I agree, his tattoo comments don’t totally speak to all people who get tattoos.

@christophershively2868 2 года назад

Have you ever thought about writing a book on romantic relationship IE (God told me to marry this person, Telling me not to marry this person, anger spots in dating the right or wrong person). I asked a question a few weeks ago and you answered me in a Mark D kinda way. God is with me. I had an episode an hour ago in anger because of a chest tightness of anxiety about a potential relationship but there's a voice telling me not to marry a person and marry this gal I tried to persue years ago. But I think there's some rejection issues popping up, perfection popping up etc Thanks for all you do Mark!

@radvibes 10 месяцев назад

You should make a short video on self harm. I never really understood it until you explained it

@roccofelder1551 2 месяца назад

I want to connect to God in my thoughts

@eliyang4432 Год назад

Just pointing out…. This video is 55:55 long. 5 stands for Grace in the Bible. A coincidence? I think not!

@keithawhosoever5384 2 года назад

This journey towards wholeness and completion (in Christ) is getting to be a pain . Though I know there is no other way other than the Christ Way , at 64 years young, I'm wondering if in this life , my mental/emotional health is ever going to stabilise, let alone normalise . I mean learning to live in self acceptance . I don't know half the time if I'm more self aware of who I really am , or less aware . Living alone apart from two dogs , and am living daily as a 'Billy no mates' , not one person I can go out and play with , ie. go for a walk , share a meal , have a decent conversation with and just hang out with . Worst thing about it is having no-one to bounce off thoughts and feelings with . It hasn't always been this way but it has , or so it seems , more often than not. I've given up 'trying' to be a 'good Christian' and going out of my way to help others . I've been stung too many times . My expectations have been too high regarding relationships/friendships . I console my self with some good memories from my past of individuals who I have crossed paths with on my journey , even before I came to believe in Christ . Even then , when thinking of such good encounters , there is a tendency within me to wish I had been a better friend or was more emotionally secure at those times , or didn't take for granted such enjoyable personal interactions and so on ... Those kind of regrets spoil such memories if I allow them to. I definitely find 'making' new friends or even just one friend at my time of life something I'm not really expecting to happen again ... I'm not ruling it out , just not putting all my hopes into that basket .🤔 All that said , I do believe I am in a better place mentally/emotional than ever before , and alot more self accepting . No way could I have kept on keeping on to where I am now without the Grace message , and constant reminders of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Relationship without religion. Amen , so be it 🇬🇧🆓✝️

@catatonyanew 2 года назад

🙏 for you. This topic touched the deep pain of many of us.

@keithawhosoever5384 2 года назад

@@catatonyanew Thank you....Alone , yet not alone when shared , if only online ...👌🇬🇧🆓✝️

@tatianaG Месяц назад

Im so sick of abusing myself

@loriclark505 2 года назад

Could you do a video for high functioning autistics

@barbaramoran8690 Год назад

I want that too have ben trying to get a response for years I was diagnosed autistic at 40

@barbaramoran8690 Год назад

Wish I had more than one thumb to put up for your comment .Autistic people need all the love they can get and with an autistic son I’m sure that Mark tries hard to give him best life possible .I’m sure he knows that much loved and welcome kids treat their parents better It was the kind people who taught me gratitude and a desire to care for others Before most people seemed to be Competitors or PREDATORS.

@perfectionista492 2 года назад

12:25 - 12:45 - Sometimes, it is hard to talk to or show love to someone. It is not the silent treatment, but there is nothing to say, because your word is not trusted anyways. You have broken trust many times and you are told you are forgiven, but even when people forgive you, you sometimes sense that they still have a suspicious leash on you in order to guard themselves. They make you feel like you are a quitter for wanting to leave the relationship, because you are using you are not "owning" it with a straight face and staying with them to fix it. So you do stay, but the way that you redeem yourself or you build back trust is on their terms. And you know and they know that you can't win back the trust, so then you have to depend on them and they can ask you questions, probe you, see lies and deceit in any mistake in communicatinf that you make. But you can't leave, because they are giving you grace. And because of that grace you should be brave and humble enough to stay with them and build back your credibility and your word on their terms and their terms alone, because you rightfully can't be trusted. So you should be thankful, but you struggle, becuass the "grace" feels toxic. But then you feel prideful and selfish for thinking that too, so you feel so morally claustrophobic that you go silent. It is not manipulative silence. It is a resigning silence, because you are in so much pain that there are no words. And you could never put in ways that they could understand or that they would believe you, because your words mean nothing.

@emirojas92 2 года назад

I've thought about harming myself because I dont want to have intrusive thoughts about harming others.

@roccofelder1551 2 месяца назад

I want to truly from my heart to love God and to hate the enemy all in the mind i want to stay with God the fight is in the mind. I want to in my heart of hearts to hate the enemy

@tatianaG Месяц назад

My heart is hardened to Gods love for me and my love for Him. Ive been murdering myself and him for years. I feel very ashamed because He kept loving me thru it and i kept rejecting it. I need a miracle and i could really use some encouragement.. ive been ruminating on satans thoughts for so long i started believing him. Any hope or encouragement is appreciated.

@CharlieBass5 2 года назад

I'm selfish and self-centered, so I thought, to reduce my screwups. I'm mostly screwup prone. Am I not to do my best in life? How many screwups do I allow myself?

@roccofelder1551 2 месяца назад

I need jesus i concentrated on the hate for the enemy and in the same mind love God

@roccofelder1551 2 месяца назад

I think i have ocd instead of anxiety

@holla_j 2 года назад

I hate myself. I have had too many rejections in life. Im the black sheep of my family. I have depression, bipolar, OCD, perfectionism, all of the above. Rejection causes people to commit suicide. We all naturally seek validations from others. I have attempted suicide at least 3 times. Almost went into a comma in 2019 from an intentional OD of meds. I have tried A LOT. This is years of trying and not getting anywhere or going in circles. God likes misery and suffering. End of story.

@ricklee5998 2 года назад

God actually loves you more than you know. I have suffered through alot of these things and God is still faithful. Praying for you!

@HS-tm4xe 2 года назад

I hear you. I don't know if this helps but sending a virtual hug.

@EYMmusic 2 года назад

So sorry you are going through this. I know there is no perfect thing I can say but I really do pray that you find peace. He loves you so much.

@zacklaplant1861 2 года назад

I don't have a perfect answer, but I can point you to Jesus's heart. In Matthew 11:28-29, Jesus said "Come to me, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” That can also be translated as "Gentle and Lowly in heart." Jesus wants us to know that we can come to Him in our distress and pain. He loves you so much. I'll be praying for you.

@ritalarbi8275 3 месяца назад

Mmmh Heard my mother commit suicide because of harmful thaugh. Now i understand it that weather i year those thaught ,i should put is aside anda still continue to treat myself with love care firi myself

@Sons_Of_Thunder2 Год назад

🫂

@marktdejesus Год назад

Now I know this name is Michael. Thank you Michael

@andreelfrink 2 года назад

You will never find GOD GOD finds You (And I Just Did❌) You have to be on his level WE ALL Are Brothers And Sisters of the same Father And Mother. But think All you want that will never make You Wise. WISDOM IS IN OUR ❤🤎AE1⚖🌎🙏 AT LEAST IN MINE IT IS......SO YOU CAN COPY IT! YOU CAN'T LEARN IT ONLY FEEL IT. SORRY YOU CAN NEVER EVER BE ME And there is A reason for that. YOU CAN'T BE THE CREATOR❌ But You can be his Child. I AM THAT I AM ✨✝️⚡🤎AE1⚖🐺🐞🐉🐟🌎🙏

@tango-bravo 2 года назад

Mark, are you on LinkedIn? There are several with your same name. Thanks.

@roccofelder1551 2 месяца назад

I want to truly from my heart to love God and to hate the enemy all in the mind i want to stay with God the fight is in the mind. I want to in my heart of hearts to hate the enemy