How does German parenting differ from the U.S.? 

Als Kind habe ich sehr viel draussen gespielt und bin oft für Stunden mit dem Nachbarshund im Wald und auf den Feldern gewesen. Ich habe Mirabellen, Kirschen, Zuckerrüben und Mais gegessen und musste erst Heim als die Strassenlaternen anggingen. Ich fand es toll unabhängig zu sein und bin bestimmt dadurch in meinem Leben gut ausgekommen.

What you didn’t mention is that the children are never really alone or unobserved. There are always lots of adults around them who also keep an eye on them. I take the bus to work and there are often children there. Most of the time they go to school with at least one friend. And even if they go alone, I would certainly help this child if it seems to be stressed out or in trouble and I know that the same is true for many other adults on the same bus. The same thing on playgrounds. A child falls and seems to need help, you just give and help no matter if it’s your own child or not.

I think the Dutch way is close to the German way. The one big difference is that you won’t see many children in public transport. Kids here go everywhere on bike. In the eighties some English psychologists published a paper in which they stated that more harm was done by overprotective parents, than actual harm was done the parents were afraid of.

I am American, and I firmly believe that Germany is MUCH safer for children than any city or state in America. The gun violence, or violence in general, is just unreal here.

I'm German and was a bit surprised that it's taken that way. Because it might be all true. And in comparison to US it seems relaxed. But if you look to nordic/scandinavian countrys they put all of this to another level. A level which I adore and like more than the German 😅

My husband grew up in a small town in the Midwest in the 1970s. All the stuff he did there with his friends, I did with mine roughly a decade later in a big city in Germany. Neither the US nor Germany are as they were back then. I will always be glad that I got to grow up the way I did. Modern parents seem so stressed most of the time and constantly worried that their kids need to be kept busy with something.

I grew up in a village with about 7.000 inhabitants in Southern Germany (*2005), the next playground is on the other side of our fence, the next daycare and elementary school are within a 100m, I would have gone by myselve to the daycare by four, but our mom brought us becaus of my littell brother. From about 5 I was playing on the playground by myselve or with my friends all afternoon. We were allways climbing, at 9 I fell of a tree about 2,5 or 3m maybe even more, I broke my wrist and stopped climbing trees, a year or two later my aunt took me indoorclimbing for the first time, I'm climbing regullarly since I'm 14. I was one of those kids who did a lot by themselve even for German standarts, I was told I am very brave for traveling 6h, home from my uncel in swizerland, by myselve on the train at 14. My longest travel by myselve were about 8 or 9h so fare.

My friends and I have often spoken of the changes that have occurred in children’s limits in playgrounds. We are 72, so grandparents; massive changes in the US since the 50’s. Totally all encompassing our children/ grandchildren’s lives. It makes me sad.

It broke my heart to see the playground of my elementary school (1950's vintage) replaced with safer one of wood. That was then replaced with plastic. I loved those galvanized monkey bars and stainless steel slide. Not to mention the heavy wood swings with chains. Now there's almost no green space to play in or trees and shrubs.

As a West German kid I walked 🚶🏻 to my primary school about 1.7 km between 1968 and 1972. My mom showed me all possible ways to go to school 🏫 and to go back home 🏠. Including the crossing of two big streets with quite some traffic 🚙 🚛 and without traffic lights ❌🚦. After some while she said at 2/3 of the way: 'Go on for the rest' and she stayed behind. Later she let me go alone at 1/3 of the way. And finally I went by myself the whole way. She showed me how to use the public phone booth 📞 and always made sure that I had suitable coins with me (two 10 Pfennig coins 🪙 🪙 at that time and another 🪙 🪙 coins in case the coins failed). The result: It worked ALL the time👍. Funfact 😉: Many years later she told me that she had followed me unseen for some longer time on the whole way - just to make sure - until she was convinced that I could do it. And yes - I did it.👍 Thanks Mom. ❤️

Talking about my country, India, there are no such things as playgrounds or official playzones. Children generally play on the roads or on empty lands or wherever they get space. A decade ago there used to be local parks in many places in my city Kalkutta (Calcutta) but due to recent expansion of living space, we have lost many of these garden styled parks where kids used to play. In a city where 15 million people live, we hardly have any parks. The kids are forced to play on the road on which vehicles ply. Owning to this there exists a lot of dangers and risk and thus many parents rather prefer to not let their kids play outside and would rather engage them into some kind of academic or non-curricular training during their playtime. This is leading to much poorer quality of life for the children and in turn affecting their creativity and personal growth.

I live in Berlin, where the video was filmed, and I think the design of the playgrounds is great. When I was a child, I could spend the whole day on playgrounds with my friends. There were always adults there to look after us and we had a variety of different playgrounds in the neighborhood. Some were quite simple, others had huge climbing frames and slides, and others had water as a creative opportunity.

I live now in Berlin and my son loves the playgrounds here. In Romania, they look mostly like the American ones. Recently, they've started building more creative and aventurous playgrounds in Bucharest, my homecity

I have lived in the Netherlands for a few years and yes it's wonderful, amazing playgrounds, safety...but one thing that wasn't mentioned is the persistent bullying and phone use that are traded in for knowing where your child is. You'll see kids here in Copenhagen as well, some of the most beautiful playgrounds but on their phones. So yeah having free range kids is great when they play and make friends, can explore or be independent but nowadays those same kids have their attention directed somewhere else than actually learning to get along and use the playgrounds themselves.

American children growing up during the 1940s through 1960s were far more independent than today’s children, who probably will be known as the “helpless generation.” Parents can’t protect their children from every bad outcome in life. Thus, parents should consider the harm they inflict on their children by smothering them with oversight.

Safe in America where children have to dodge bullets in school? Terrifying in my opinion.

In Sweden, I got my first commuter pass and a key home hanging under my shirt on a string when I was 9-10 years old I remember that i so PROUD to manage to take the subway alone 4 stations to school and get home and make my own afterschool snack waiting for mom coming home..and even taking the bus 5-6 minutes to Karate practice and other activity's . I did get really independent and selfgoing from that i presume

In the rural areas of the USA kids are driving four runners and using firearms. Many of them have to work.

I come from Tokyo and even German ppl were shockced/surprised, how independent small children (6yrs. old) are. Like, they take public transports to go to school every day.

5:20 also, in Germany you can only claim _actual_ damages in a lawsuit. There are no punitive damages here.

My grandma liked to call me a stray because I always was outside with my friends from the age of 10 playing on large playgrounds with huge net constructs which were 5m high, or playing in the nearby woods on a small stream or playing football from after school to sunset. Best childhood ever. Yes, we came home once or twice with bloody knees, a cut above the eye or broken wrist, but those things would have happened most likely one day even under the eyes of our parents. I'd give my kids the same kind of freedom I had and teach them the same lessons I was taught and experienced myself.

As a 5 y old (German in Germany) my mother send me to go shopping for bread at the bakery, she gave me money and a tiny shopping list in case I might forget I was suppose to buy. She gave me instructions what to do, and if I went. The bakery aprox. was 1 km from home. To school we walked 2 km alone. My mother walked the way ONCE with me and I had to remember it then. It was save to walk to school, later in high school we used the city transportation busses to go to school. My mother gave me instructions how to behave and not to go with anyone, if someone would approach me. And there were some moments, a few, when someone tried to lure me in, driving a car next to me. But I kept my distance, bc my mother protected me with her advice that I followed then. But in a big in general in the years after the war and decades after it was secure most of the times. Kidnapping and murders were the big exceptions. Walking passing a dark big park was secure in Berlin. .

This is the way kids used to be raised in the US.

I think the biggest difference is in the tendency to sue. Playgrounds in the US are that way to protect the creators as much as for the children.

I've heard many times that kids in the US used to grow up without being watched 24/7, being more independent, etc. I wonder what caused this to change?

When I was a kid we walked to school alone, we played wherever we happened to be, and we went wherever we wanted.

In Canadian playgrounds Kids are not allowed to play without supervision. So sad and bad for the children.

Czech playgrounds in the major cities are pretty amazing too. thanks for sharing the statistics, but the threat of litigation, although it might be very low, is enough to scare city planners to install the "safest" playground equipment. the US also has the american disability act, that requires that playgrounds need to accommodate wheel chairs.

It was like this in the US when growing up in the 60s. Not sure why it changed.

Kids should feel free to learn to solve problems and exercise their motor skills. Also learn to take some responsibility/ like going to school on their own.

I grew up in the 1960s/70s in Western Germany. We learnt where our limits are by hurting ourselfes. And it was OUR fault because WE went too far. My father always said: "If you get under the bus with that injury, you may die!" (means: Don't take it too serious). We learnt where our limits are and how far we can go!

I believe it's also a factor, that Germans have free healthcare and therefore it's less of a drama if the children mildly get injured. So I would believe it is less stressful for the parents

When it comes to way of living - I think Germany really has got it well covered. USA is very Tech driven and its getting more and more online whereas Germany likes outdoors more.

Not living in Berlin, but when I was first grade I drove the 2+km to school on my bike through our town, crossing major streets... I guess, my parents just saw my responsible self and taught me well during my kindergarten time when I drove almost the same distance also by bike but with my mom behind me 😊

Being self reliant starts as kid and continues as student to the job. In the US you are basicly „guided“ non stop.

In the 80ies and 90ies we went everywhere alone as children...there was literally no limit. Today's children don't even realize that their parents protecting them make them to scared little bitXhes.

German mother here with a now 11 y old. Not every playground in Germany looks that fancy. Or scary from a American perspective.But it's true this days there more wood and metal than plastic. And this days the swings from my childhood with the metal chains and a single seat are often replaced by netswings or Nestschaukel. These look a bit different and are better for small children or disabled people. You can lay on them with 3 people and swing and have fun. My child used to to go a playground in public park. And until she was 7 she never went alone. But even if we went together, she was used to see me sitting from distance reading and she was used not to be observed all the time. To be totally honest I only saw her, when she was hungry or wanted me to show off her newest trick she just invented. And after a while I didn't see her at all because she was playing in an area with bushes and trees nearby the playground. She loves climbing on all sorts of trees. That was perfectly normal. And she never got any injury from our playground or the trees bigger than a small scratch.

A lots of kids still walk to elementary school where my sister lives in Arkansas. The dog barking at them from the window is a weekly thing.

I'm from the UK, and I'd say that the playgrounds in your u.k are similar to the one's in Germany nowadays. Calculated risks, designed to test the child and for the child to be creative.

I grew up in the old South Africa, and I lived in one of the housing schemes/townships. And around every corner there was a playground or a sports field for soccer, cricket, netball etc. The schools were closest, so we walked to school. Even from 6 years old onwards, all the children walked to the shops , and even the cinema . We grew up being able to know to take care of ourselves, how to interact in society, to socialise with our friends and neighbours. That was long ago. Today, there are no playgrounds. Children need to be transported to school. Walking to school is dangerous. Today there's no interaction between children out off school. And it shows. Compare the youth of today to the youth of "the good old days". We never had things like 'bullying', ADHD , child depression etc. Great that Germany is so different. But other countries are not safe.

As someone who has lived in and visited Germany I have to say that I've never noticed the playgrounds in the past. The next time I go to Germany, I will check out the structures. They look interesting!

Compare how much video American parents have consumed since childhood as opposed to German parents. (:

I would have loved the German playgrounds as a kid!! Even as an adult, they look pretty tempting.

I think in most countries in Europe, Asia and Africa the kids enjoy way more freedom than here in Germany. The US are simply the worst example concerning the freedom of children

My kids were born in Denmark, and they have experienced play grounds in Denmark, the UK, and Taiwan. They like all of them.

In Australia, I think we have a mix of both styles. We definitely have parents who watch there kids all the time, well into teen years. But there are also a lot more relaxed parents who let their kids take responsibility for themselves.

As a 1948 model Canadian, it was always possible to escape excessive parental supervision. I remember the forbidden pleasure of paddling a raft on a pond in an disused gravel pit. When my wife and I moved to Norway in 1980 and had two children in that decade we tried to do things the Norwegian way. For example, we allowed our children to nap in their buggies outside in the winter (and other seasons), we allowed them to explore the neighbourhood unsupervised, including the forest near our house. As a ruralist, I do not have much experience with playgrounds. One sport I am interested in is parkour, although some may regard it as an urban phenomenon.I addition, children living near water should learn to respect it, but have access to boats. Our neighbour told us that he had to row one to school, from the age of seven. I have tried to teach our children how to use tools, and to avoid injuring themselves. In particular, I think children should learn how to use knives, and be capable of making fires. It is appropriate to point out specific dangers, such as the cliff at the edge of our property. From an early age, we would encourage them to look up at our property from the road 15 meters below. I think they understood, that they should keep to the other side of the fence. After a mere 44 years of living here, we almost feel more Norwegian than Canadian. Our daughter is now living in California. Should she and her husband ever have Children, I hope they will consider moving (back) to Europe, because I feel the environment is better for children to grow up in. She is an EU citizen, so there are no restrictions in moving here.

Funny! The ad after this video was for a Hollywood movie about a teenage girl being abducted at a concert…

I think it was either Sweden or Finland that have outdoor schools and kindergardens. Which i find goes into this direction pointed out here as a differance between german and US playgrounds. Training for independent and responsible thought and action.

●When talking about his childhood it was kind of hard for me, an American, to accept that comedian George Carlin's parents let him play out in the streets of New York City with his friends. At age seven! ●In the 1970s & 80s our mom would have us small kids wait in the car while she went inside to the store or whatever. Now? A mother was arrested after her job interview for doing the same thing. _That's_ the standard now here in the States.

The high slade is all closed and so is the stairway up, what is supposed to happen in there? Under swings and the balancing parcours is always soft ground. Kids may scratch their knees, but nothing worse will happen. I am German and had pretty protective parents (by German standards), but I was never told which attraction at a playground I may or my not use. I started taking public transportation to school at age 11 and was allowed to go to the cinema alone at 12. The thought of always being watched sounds awful to me. And even if you try, it’s not possible. Children get lost (and nearly always found safe) at amusement parks or in other busy enviroments in all countries. The time a parent needs to grab the wallet can be enough for that. Total security is an illusion. So I think it’s better to prepare children for dangerous situations, teach them what to do when they get lost, what to look for in traffic and how to use public transportstion early on.

I miss monkey-bars (tall metal climbing structures)! Kids today seem to only have staircases to climb on-not fun!

German author Anne Kratzer has done research on this topic, which was published in Gehirn&Geist in 2019. It explored the influence of the long-trusted German parenting manual, "The German Mother and Her First Child" by Johanna Haarer. She theorized that this parenting philosophy had many damaging effects, too. Her writing is well worth a read.

is Germany safer than the US :-P well at least in school you don't get killed by some random guy with a gun. Also i think it depens if you are grown up in a city or on rural areas. I mean i grew up in a village with 500 people so most of the people living there knew either me directly or knew my parents. It was totally ok for the parents there if you went out with your friends and came home before 6pm and never actually told were exactly you have been. I sometimes was several kilometers away from home visiting another school friend 3 villages away :D and because we lived so rural of course we had to take the school bus alone. Since i've never grew up in a city i don't know how it's there but i would assume that a kid in the 4th grade could use the bus / S-Bahn / Straßenbahn all alone to go to school and back. Some even earlier depending on the child.

When I was a child in Germany, we went outside, after school and lunch and homework, to find our friends and play somewhere. Nobody really knew where we were or what we were doing, and when the lambposts went on, we went home. Good days.

I think cultural, historical and anthropological factors play the main role. Here in Italy we have the not-so-false stereotype of the Mediterranean overprotective mum, but I have a feeling that it's still more relaxed than the average US mum - except for the mum I saw at a playground once, escorting her 7/8 yo around hand in hand the entire time and scaffolding her buttocks to protect her when climbing stuff, the way I would have probably done with my 2 yo, or not even. Things have changed dramatically in the last 20-30 years, and I think this is something US and Italy have in common. 20 years ago I was serving at a summer camp and even if I was underage I had responsibility of a small group of 7 years olds inside a huge amusement park, now summer camp trips to that same park are only allowed with a parent or caretaker up to 10 years old. My super anxious and controlling mum would still let me play in the woods and in the sea with friends but no adults around since age 7 and go around the town alone since age 11, but I don't see that so much nowadays, and I am still not sure I will be able to get myself to do the same when my kids will be that age. Yet, I would never ever consider things like baby monitors, leashes for toddlers, tracking bracelets or suing anyone because my kids got hurt at the playground. When they want to experiment something new I consistently cherish and encourage them, while still firmly standing my ground when it comes to actual safety and responsibility. It's always a delicate balance, and this is quite universal I think.

I love to hear people from other countries saying something positive about my own country. Cause we Germans are used to see all those negative things in our country. It relaxes me to see that there are good things. (I think there are a lot of good things but we forgot to look at them, cause we learned to look just at the bad ones.)

Happened when I was a kid. We walked to school, in packs of kids, by ourselves

European law says, as a parent you cannot be responsible what happens to your kids 24/7. US law says, you are responsible 24/7 and also the rest of the time. This is just the opposite of the gun law in the US and Europe. My sister in law pu her grandkids in life jackets for the kiddy pool and filled it only 10 inches according to the manufacturers recommendation.

I am from the UK, but live in Germany. When I look at the places I played in the UK, they have been ruined by a obsession with safety. The Moatwood has had the moat filled in. Despite its name, I never remember seeing water in it, and the slopes were never steep, and incidentally I saw my first grass snake there . (A harmless snake) I doubt there are any there now. The boating lake has been leveled over, because children could drown there. I swam in it as a child despite it being only 1 foot deep. The English speaking World has gone safety mad!

Yeah, safety by tracking is so much more important for Americans so nothing would happen to their children. However, ferberizing, which raises cortisol levels and according to Brisch harms the human in the long term, shockingly is still a big thing in the US. In other countries, especially in Europe (northern countries) this is highly criticised. @DW I'd really be delighted to see a documentary on ferberizing.

good

The point is that you will not win any lawsuit here in Germany about unsafe playgrounds. The risk is estimated and if the estimation is okay any injury will just be bad luck. Americans due to their legal system are overly careful about such things. Nobody would start a lawsuit in Germany about some broken bones also because it will cost you no money. All healthcare costs of a child accident are fully covered so you can’t actually have financial harm.

Spooler, this is not just in Germany. Almost all European countries have the same attitude toward children. Some are even more free. Playground is just one part. Compare schools in the US and Europe, and you will be amazed. Not secure bunkers but open and inviting buildings and time to play between lessons. The US is fear-driven and people are getting obsessed with security and lawsuits. Compare the number of lawyers per capita in the US and Europe.

a bit same as in the netherlands.

The sense of personal responsibility is strong in Europe all around, but not in America.

Nice very refreshing to know,I thought western countries were all so unsafe It's good to know there's still normal living safe and fun in the world

The US was like this before 1980. I grew up in the 1950s and 60s. I walked to and from school BY MYSELF at age 6. Walked to playgrounds and parks by myself. We had 10' high swings and slides, what fun. Rode my bike all over the city by myself at age 12. Americans today are just nuts, very paranoid. Watching scare stories on the news. Scary stories make higher ratings and MORE MONEY.

While on shoolexchange with other european countries, we germans where always the ones organising things and adapting to the new environment quickly. It seemed like we where much more selfassured and used to desicion making and being treated from the beginning like a full person.

I’m all for independence if in the country (I grew up in the country, as me and my younger sis were left alone during the summers with my sister who was 5 years older) but if I had a kid, I would never, ever let my child be unsupervised at a public playground /park or take transit unless they were with an older sibling, large group, or with another trusted adult. I mean, firstly, it’s child neglect here, so the parents would be charged for being irresponsible. But more importantly, I know of actual instances of child predators staking out playgrounds (very similar but much taller with nets than the one featured in this video) before. They are transient and move across states and towns, avoiding law enforcement. I find it.. difficult to believe that there are no child predators in Germany or other countries who don’t utilize the same MO. It just takes one minute for someone to nab a child and disappear. I’d imagine Germany has missing children? Where I live it is very safe & I do believe small kids could transverse alone, I just consider it very unwise to do so. Safety is, frankly, an illusion. I remember when I was 14 and was getting my hair done by a young lady, who must have been 21 or younger, who weighed under 110 pounds. An older guy in his fifties had been giving her unwanted attention. He pulled up to the salon as I was getting my hair done & my hairdresser was not comfortable. We were the only two people there & no way we would have been able to handle him if things went badly. She just turned off the lights and we kept quiet acting like the place was closed. I still remember seeing his silhouette behind the door window curtain as he was trying to open the door. Thankfully he eventually left. I was expecting my sister to pick me up but thankfully it was dad. Never was more relieved to see him. I also have had male strangers try and get my attention before as a 15 & 16 year old. Nope. I know better. At 6? I’m not so sure if I would.

German feels like it is set to the time period I grew up in still. The time period for me was 80’s-90’s as I was was born in 83

Spielplätze in Deutschland sind aus Ressourcen wie Holz gebaut, weil es länger hält als Plastik. Eine natürliche Umgebung, Entdeckergeist und Spaß. Man kann sich auch außerhalb des Spielplatzes verletzen

For a scratch, you have band-aid ready, it's not worth to hold back life to avoid any scratch.

That's what happens when you have a functioning healthcare system, reliable public transportation and your cities are not car centric. Ah, and there's no guns everywhere.

And in spite of all this German society is the complete opposite: people are extremely risk averse, independent thought and decision making often isn‘t incentivised at all and companies and individuals prefer playing it save. Buying every insurance police imaginable instead of investing in the stock market is part of German culture, as is following the rules vs thinking outside the box. Something doesn’t add up.

Yes, we have as much freedom as the Germans, the Netherlands was even ranked happiest kids in the world some years ago. So I guess we got the balance, risk, fun, adventure, safety just right. And like in Europe, lucky guns are way way less a risk here. USA? Go learn!

I knew free-range chicken and free-range livestock ... but free-range parenting?

"The U. S." is very different.

German playgrounds look a lot like playgrounds did when I was a kid in the late 60s and early 70s.

I would also not let my child roam free if every adult is allowed to carry a gun. It's not cultural. It's just safer in Germany. And we have and expect common sense.

Why are you shocked? What's so terrible about German playgrounds?

👍

Children need freedom too. Seems like the parents in the US where everybody is obsessed with freedom don't want their children to be free. Hypocrisy ? Probably !

❤❤

USA is raising a bunch of wimps...not to mention a lawsuit if a child gets injured because of playground design 🤦

And then there are german "Helikoptereltern"

Way too positive depiction of Germany. Especially regarding the playgrounds. They even don't build simple slides anymore because of safety risks. But also the parents. The trend to "helicopter parents" is all too visible here, too.

At least in Germany kids are almost never shot at school.

But its also changing nowadays. Due to a rise of sexual assault on minor's parents watch out much more not always letting their children go to school alone etc.

90,000 missing children?! Are you mad? That is a substantial number!

Erwachsen werden tut weh, oder auf englisch : Life is tough, get a helmet

I’d say that the US is one of the most dangerous places for both kids and adults.

And children are not overweight. Speaks a lot.

Curvy pippi langstrumpf. 😍

This is what growing up in america used to be like. Helicopter parents and lawsuit happy parents have ruined kids and their ability to actually grow up.

I have to apply for a gun licence for my child at the same time as I apply for their pre-school application….

Funny.posting kids on this video,immediately after talking about the concerns.

Just facepalm. We lived in Chicago for a decade. We left to start a family because the USA is a terrifying place to raise children, compared to Europe.

Lol you are not a child of the 80s. Kids were bright up this way.

Germany is not as safe as its used to be.