How Important is PHYSICAL ATTRACTION in Dating?? 

What do you think?? Share your thoughts with us below...

Why does every single guy have to be a "potential spouse"? If you're not attracted to him, but you like his heart then literally be friends. People have value beyond their potential to be your romantic partner.

The saying "attraction isn't everything" does NOT mean attraction isn't necessary! Attraction is NECESSARY, but not SUFFICIENT for a good marriage. That saying is supposed to help you not be blinded by your attraction so much that you ignore the other more important things. But if you aren't attracted to your partner? That ain't gonna work. I get what you mean about being willing and open, and I definitely think people can grow to be attracted to someone, so that means sometimes we should give people a chance. But I REALLY think that, especially for women who experience attraction often differently from men, you should make sure you are physically attracted to your partner. DO NOT get married if you aren't. So you're right that if there's zero attraction, don't keep moving forward with someone. But if there's low attraction? 50%? THAT'S STILL A NO FROM ME.

If you’re not physically attracted to someone, then don’t date them. You’ll only be hurting that person by leading them on and you’ll be hurting yourself by forcing yourself to like someone you don’t feel a connection with. Looks aren’t everything, but they are an important part of a relationship. Looks and personality are critical in dating but in different ways. Don’t date someone you think is hot but has a bad personality, and don’t date someone who is nice but you don’t think is attractive.

Attraction is extremely important! Sure, you could say that looks fade. But that chemistry and spark is what keeps a relationship alive and thriving. A physical connection is one of the most important parts to a relationship. I’d be heartbroken to hear the one I love wasn’t attracted to me. If you don’t feel drawn to a person...that’s NOT your person.

My question is, if you date a person that you’re not attracted to for a while, but they’re attracted to you, and then you have to leave the relationship because you were never attracted and weren’t able to form attraction, does that not hurt the other person? It seems a bit selfish if you’re waiting maybe months to see if you’re interested, but the other person is really invested

I have always thought my partner is attractive and I’ve only found him more attractive as time goes on. We’re going on 4 years now and while we’re not married yet, just picturing myself walking down the aisle to marry him makes me euphoric inside and I get emotional just thinking about how handsome he’ll look.

I’m a Christian woman and I always felt like being in love and very attracted to my husband was extremely important on top making sure h he was a man of god and had good character. Divorce is so prevalent that you’re just tempting yourself to divorce more in the future if you don’t feel that love and attraction to them!!

And is also absolutely wrong to play with someone else’s emotions “waiting” to see if you really feel attracted to them. The best way to do it is by starting a friendship with them, that way you will be able to observe them in a bunch of different aspects (spiritual, emotional, physical and mental) and see if that is what you want. That way no one will get hurt or either feel pressured or obligated to feel attraction to each other.

girl, what the heck is this? i hope you guys watch this video back and reflect on what you just said… “im not attracted to him but im doing it anyway”?????? huhhh?????? on your wedding dayyy????? girl bye, so immature honestly there’s a lot of room left to grow here

I don’t think you should even consider someone if you’re not attracted. That’s unfair to them!

I totally agree with valuing a deeper relationship with a love interest than just surface level attraction, but physical attraction is important. Also, why did this girl HAVE to marry this guy if she wasn’t attracted to him? There are other Christians guys out there that she could have been highly attracted to and had good qualities. Just because physical attraction is t the most important aspect of a relationship doesn’t make it unimportant at all

My husband is so amazing in every way… plus he’s ridiculously hot 😁 I don’t have to twist myself into pretzels trying to justify not being attracted to him… it’s pretty ideal.

If you love someone, you will find them attractive regardless if they're "conventionally" attractive or not. So yes, not being attracted to your significant other is a problem. That's the whole point of being attracted to someone. What's the point in being with someone if you don't like the way that they look? If you love someone, you'll be attracted to them as a whole person. Their looks and personality. If you don't like the way someone looks in the beginning of a relationship, why even date them? Imagine if they knew you thought that way about them in the back of your mind? Whispering to your friends that you don't find them attractive but are just "going for it". Who says that about someone they're marrying? You don't just jump into marriage to fill in a quota. It seems like that's exactly what y'all did and are regretting it.

I think it's important to be attracted to your spouse because you have entered a forever promise, and that person is going to be your life partner. If you aren't attracted to your spouse and feel weird being intimate with that person you aren't attracted to it will probably cause problems in the future, and I believe it's also good for your kids to see the love and attraction you have for one another

sure, attraction can grow but if that occurs it should happen when you’re still friends with someone, not when you’re already in a relationship. the issue is that if you’re in a relationship or dating someone and the attraction doesn’t grow, that’s leading them on and it’s totally not fair on them and their feelings, nor on yourself!

I have to disagree...the loneliest feeling in the world is to be lying next to your spouse, wanting a physical connection and knowing there is no desire or attraction from the only person that can provide such intimacy after marriage. While i agree that attraction and desire can grow or develop over time, the reverse is also true and i would never encourage my daughters to enter into an eternal covenant with another being if there was not attraction, desire, and chemistry....iif its missing or lacking in the endorphin flooded honeymoon stage, it isn't going to be stronger as time goes by. There's absolutely much more that's needed to have a successful marriage ...but you don't want to be the one trapped in a marriage without physical touch and intimacy. My 2 cents anyway

It’s definitely important. I’m not expecting a man to look like a supermodel but I gotta be attracted to him both physically and sexually.

I agree. Physical attraction isn’t everything but it’s something. Don’t discount someone you aren’t immediately attracted to but don’t drag on a relationship in the hope that you’ll become attracted to him as you may just end up wasting his (and your) time.

I feel like you shouldn’t have to force attraction w someone just cause you want them to be your significant other. That kinda kills the initial attraction no matter if its their looks or their personality

If my husband, on camera, for thousands to see admitted on our wedding day that he wasn’t attracted to me??? Divorce lol how wildly inappropriate. Like, that was so cruel and disguised as “help” Just like all of Christianity

God would bless you with attraction to someone you're going to be with forever.

It is very important, on the same level as your interior. Period

I believe who God has for you will be physically attractive or just attractive period to you.Knowing that he has a heart for God and that he is filled with the Holy Ghost, makes him attractive to me. Now I would like him to be physically attractive and I believe that you will find your husband attractive when you see these godly characteristics in him.

Y’all….. Why do I feel lucky that I’m attracted to my husband? I believe that God built in the biological needs within us to bind with another person and reproduce. A big part of that is physical attraction. Oh honeys.

I don’t believe that attraction is everything but you should be attracted to your boyfriend or husband lol. It’s ok to not be attracted to someone who you are just dating but when it gets more serious you must me attracted to them.

These girls need help.

I ended up here, mostly, because there are so few conversations and videos on GUYS not finding a potential FEMALE partner attractive. Right now I'm no where near even saying I'm dating a particular person, but we're in talks. She is so much fun, great personality, we have great, long talks together on the phone. But I can't even pretend I'm attracted, I have REALLY tried to find something to be attracted to. I assure you I'm searching deep within myself to find a spark, even the chance of one. I cannot find hope thus far in that area. She's literally almost all opposites relative to what I find attractive. But she's such a good personality match, and it's so rare in my current environment!! The main thing I'm curious about, and this is pretty sensitive, is whether or not it's healthy or appropriate ever, to SETTLE. I'm not a 3, but definitely not even an 8. I'm not particularly rich, and I'm definitely an acquired taste in personality, and not by choice. But I've dated people I've been wildly attracted to in the past before, but in the new environment I live in, culture clashes and becomes an issue for me to find anyone who would even go for someone like myself. And when you are looking for a Christian in this country... the odds fall through the floor. I want a family, and not when I'm old and tired. I also understand that for my partner, if she has kids while she's aged, the chances of complications grow exponentially. And I don't see it appropriate for myself to date someone 10-15 years younger than myself just to curb that problem. Nor would it be realistic at my level of attractiveness and geological location. I suppose the answer might be... yes... if your main goal is family/children, and preserving time. That's just how it seems to be shaping up... But do you wait on God to give you attraction, wait for someone who's attractive, or... just... settle? Or do you just settle for celibacy? After 10-odd years of singleness, it is getting very difficult to manage expectations and fight the tension of loneliness.

My husband didn’t really give me a spark when we first met, at a Bible group. He was not my typical “type”, and so I never thought of him in that way. He was also shy and socially awkward, but he was very smart and seemed genuinely invested in getting more involved in the church after being away from the Lord for a long time. I was inspired by his story, and that was what first intrigued me to get to know him better. It was just a few months of conversations and suddenly I realized I was very attracted to him in a physical way which came out of nowhere! It’s amazing how the lord moves in our hearts when we value people for all those traits other than appearance.

I hear what they’re saying! Looks aren’t everything, and it’s possible to be attracted to who they are as a person.😊

There is no attraction to grow from if there was no attraction in the first place. It's not something you can force and attraction is one of the important things of a relationship. Attraction can grow over time but you have to have it first.

Thank you girls!! It helps me a lot, even for a guy like me, i know your videos are meant for girls but as a 23 year old man , finding physical attraction on girl it was the most important thing and yes , there should be attraction but that attraction might grow as we know each other through the word of God. Keep it up with the good work, girls!!

This is very off topic, sorry! I'm curious where you got the (red?) Short sleeve. And where you all shop for more modest clothes and casual modest clothes.

"Do we value the things that God values," "God looks at the heart," "God, help me value what You value." 🙏😇

Laughs in passive aggression 😂😂

Oh, and also there are a bunch of Christians man’s around the world, but that doesn’t mean that every Christian man that you meet is a potencial boyfriend for you. A lot of other things should be taken a look too, a marriage should be based on God a 100% percent but nothing in the world is only spiritual. You need to feel connected and comfortable with him emotionally, both of you guys need to have tastes in common, both need to estate their expectations for the future (life style, children, financial life, parenting style), you need to observe their sins and see if there’s any that you can’t deal with for the rest of your life (example: lying, coldness, to much focus on work), you both need to feel physically attracted to each other, and sooooo much more. As the same way you should never choose to date someone JUST because they are attractive you should never date someone JUST because they are Christians. No one is defined by only one aspect, God created us all as complex human beings, if you don’t feel sure about a relationship don’t even start dating, marriage is for the rest of your life you don’t and shouldn’t ruche to choose.

Kristen where did you get your t shirt?!?! Looks incredible quality/ comfy!!!! Please let me know! ❤️

Who says true love is based on physical attraction?

It's a balance between inside and outside.

This would be the way to go as long as you have compatibility in interests and habits. But if you don't like to camp and be outdoorsy don't continue dating someone who is that way for example.

Wow thank you for sharing!!! Alot of times people say, "well I don't really care what my future spouse would look like" and I'm like "uh, yes you do!"😬😂 Like you said, God gave us hormones and desires and even though physical attraction is not THE most important, it still is a point to consider when making big decisions such as dating and marriage. I was SO encouraged by this video!! Thank you Kristen and Bethany once again! God bless you both 💕😊

I feel that a person can find and fallow gods law without the bible being a only or entire truth to a specific individual. There are some mature thoughts such as initial attraction. Good things are being taught. The same generic message can be received for those outside of a fundamental christian way of life.

What happened to your “what’s up sisterhood” intro? A video isn’t the same without it😂😂😂

I think about that with my parents they are attracted to intelligence

Disagree.. People can't help how they look. God made them so beautiful, he made everyone beautiful. In the eyes of God everyone is beautiful. We are suppose to patterning ourselves after Jesus, who would completely disagree with yall on this. We are suppose to love someone for the fruit of their spirit. Ive known so many people to fall inlove with someone based on their personality.

Thank you so much for handling this topic. I love how y'all struck a good balance between its importance and its not being so important. Also, I love seeing sisters together!!

A makeover can do a lot for one's appearance. Don't underestimate the power of toning up, getting a haircut, wearing a new outfit, etc.

I wasn't originally attracted to my husband when we started dating, but it did grow over time for me!

Wise girls!! 😊

"Give attraction a chance to grow," thank u for that thought. Very helpful.

This is one of the topics I didn't know I needed it! Thanks!!!

im not even a christian woman, and i don't believe in all of the things tha your're saying . but this video i really liked. unfortunaly women in put society turn down amazing guys all beacuse the first dade they didnt feel pure attraction to him . i felt the same way you described the first few weeks i dated my future husband amd i can tell you girls he is the most amazing,atttractive guy in this world amd i am so blessed yo have his love to me in my life

I really like your channel. i'm learning english and i'm watching your channel so i can get used to quick conversation. and although the channel focuses on girls, it's helping me a lot in my Christian life too

my ovaries exploded ;)

I’m 14 and this is deep

About Mentorship: I've had a couple mentors, that I sought out. I understand that nobody knows you want or need one of you don't speak up. That makes sense, especially in a world that doesn't practice mentorship. This said, mentors for me have been like wayward gym/workout partners: we start off great, then it fizzles for whatever reason. How do I go about finding a genuine Mentor that will stick? What should I look for (someone who isn't busy? So I don't get forgotten? Because EVERY body is BUSY 😬). Is there an attribute that I'm not seeking that could better help me to find the best fit? I'm a bit lost but also am sooooooo longing to have a true, committed real mentor.

hi! i love your videos, it helps me a lot! thank you!

Hi I’m Kayla, I totally agree with Bethany…I usually will be with a guy not by how looks but by his heart. Looks to me aren’t everything. Also I cling to the Bible verse of how God looks at our heart not the outward appearance, and it’s so true.

❤

Great advice on this subject! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on it!

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

Very important, especially for women, even if they don’t admit it

ughh have struggled with this soo much!!! I am a new ish christian and godly men have popped up in my life... i really have struggled with feeling guilty for not being physically attracted. so this video really helps. i like this guy that has a great heart is so wise an leads but i am not fully attracted to him physically i am giving it a chance to let it grow... but if it doesnt happen.. i know i need to let go.. even though its rough feeling like youre lettinbg go of a blessing god may have sent. but ig you juist have to look at iut as you met them for another reason weather that be toi learn something from him...

Love watching y’all

Thank you Kristen and Bethany!

Are we just going to pretend Song of Solomon doesn't exist? God won't magically make us attracted to someone. God made physical attraction for a reason. He's going to let you make your own decisions on your love life because He's given us the gift of freewill. We don't owe anyone our time or energy just because they have good character.