How life gets worse (and better!) in your late 30s 

lmao

Rip

Ok this was epic

lol thats so brutal

Good way to describe it

Lol

Those were the dirty thirties…

what a crossover

I feel exactly this, every year, but like...unironically.

Just wait until you're 41! You'll be wondering how you could have been so naïve at 40.

Also I think when you attain a widespread view on humanity and its history, a century seems superficial compared to the vastness of the human experience.

@@Shizzelfication Yep the more you understand human nature the more you see how people don't really change.

I always felt the same way. Learning about the time of Christ seemed like eons ago in the past. By learning history that time shrinks. We can buy books on Amazon written by people older than Christ.

In my perspective is a bit weird... Sure WW2 is closer to us than the start of the industrial revolution or the fall or the roman empire, but I still consider the invention of the internet or personal computers way way further away for some reason. Like the invention of the train and internet are equally away. Most of teh things I do now, specially "mid" pandemic depends on teh internet, smartphones and the internet that life without it seems so alien to me, even growing in a 3rd world counrty (which get their tech and trends like 5 years after the US). - A mid 20s dude

As a young person, even though I don’t remember living through bush’s presidency (I was only a few months old by jan 2009,) but it still feels weird being alive through four presidents and two pms. That’s kind of my version of what you said roughly

His beauty is a one in a thousand for his age. And it comes from confidence.

@@jacobbass6437 How unaware are you to say its from confidence? Looks are literally genetic. Balding or bad skin at that age are what makes people look old not lack of confidence

@@Shiro642. Oh and how unaware of you to not say that the beauty standards aren’t universal and what some people find attractive, others don’t. Why you have to be an asshole about it is beyond me.

"took a little time to become comfortable with being middle aged"...definitely relate - I am in my early 50's and I am just feeling comfortable in my middle aged body and how I am treated differently as I age (i.e. more respect due to my age and experience...maybe even my wisdom ;-D)

Thank you for mentioning the 40's & 50's as career building decades. I turned 40 this year but for health reasons I'm a late bloomer career-wise. Most of my classmates (I went to a very small private Catholic school) have high-powered, impressive careers while I'm still trying to build mine. Lately I've felt like it's too late for me to bother, but I know that's not true. They've always had financial, social & physical advantages over me, so it makes since that I'd still be behind them. I really appreciate you for leading me to this epiphany.

I have often thought about this idea of 'I am comforted by the fact I am too old to die too young'. I'm in my 30s and someone I knew from school died when he was 21. Even though your 20s come with their own set of hardships, there is a lot of good and nobody can take away from me that I got to live through them. Of course, that is true even more so when you get older. I think getting older is not so hard when you have achieved the expected things for your age but if you are getting older while being stuck in the mode of a 20 something this process just feels depressing, unless that is purely by choice.

@@baldinggrey5368 You hit the nail on the head. I feel so guilty for surviving but not achieving social norms at the correct age. I grew up with a few dozen children who share my illness. Yet only of us 3 lived to see age 20. I made it to age 40, but I can't imagine I've done much that that would make them proud.

Thank you for sharing. This was beautiful. I especially liked the part where you mentioned your 60s is the 20s for old age. I’m still in my 20s but I always saw it this way. My parents are nearing their 60s and already talk about their lives as over, despite the fact that my grandparents lived to their 90s and my parents are still active, healthy, and relatively young-looking.

Hello

@@silasmoody2539 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ewLLIJypQ20.html

Also hopefully you will keep making cool map videos!

Feeling older isn't necessarily about being feeble and nostalgic. It can be about real self assurance. Freedom from being socially scared in a way someone your age might not dare to hope for....

Love your channel. I didn't know you are only in your 20s. Keep it up, man! That's a great outlook to have. :)

I'd love to be mentored by Colonel Sanders lol

"Attend to the plot holes in the story of your life " That is a pretty cool line

"Attend to the plot holes in the story of your life."

Actually really good advice ngl

Good advice

This is a pretty mature comment for a 15 year old. Me and my GF were just discussing how unlikely 15 yr old us and others at the time would have been to share an appreciative comment. Can you share a little bit about where you grew up and if you consider yourself similar to your peers vs more self aware than others.

@@GMUTaylor6 I'm grew up in a Mexican immigrant family in Minnesota, mostly raised by a single mother until later on in life when she remarried, but for the most part it was just her teaching me everything she could. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I do think I'm pretty mature in comparison to some people my age, though I still have an immature sense of humor and all of that, which I guess is only natural. But even then, I'm just respectful towards anybody older than me by at least 5 years. At that point I know they have gone through a lot more than me and could teach me a lesson or two

@@oxytocin934 I'm impressed with both you and your mom. I think you are off to great start. Lean into those aspects of yourself. Other people will feed off you and feel more secure in being their genuine self. Big win for you and society.

"Isn't it weird how aging candy uses the scary reminder of the same five flavors of your mortality?"

Its like, a weekly letter to humanity. Proper youtubery

And the quality is always consistet with a slight upward trojectory. Its just incredible how in all the years I have been watching this chanell there wasn't even one bad video

That's great, I feel that too sometimes. In fact, a desire to be a good teacher inspired a lot of what goes into this channel.

@@JJMcCullough btw, happy greetings from Denmark :D

Damn Dark stole your comment.

@@chucklebutt4470 I had this thought many times. Especially as I've learned a lot more I keep thinking "why were you so bad/didn't care about some super important things, and why didn't you connect them to the massive impact they still have on us today. (mostly historical things, like The Enlightenment, The Vietnam War, Greek and Roman history etc) " I had good teacher too though.

❤

Thanks for sharing buddy great story

that's good to hear :)

I think is so common! I'm 19 and I have been heavily mentored by a ton of people. I am involved in the environmentist community and the professionals (typically in their 30s) are people we look up to. There are also elders in the community (typically 70+) who share wisdom with both the professional and youth activists

@@avacurtis2729I remember being in my early 20s and all of my friends were in their 30s/40s, plus all of the people I would meet or interact with would be older as well, and I just remember there being this innate hostility in older people towards me. A lot of people I would meet for the first time (especially in my teens) would _make it a point_ to say to me “you think you know everything, but you don’t know anything!” Like I would get this from older people constantly. It really upset me because I didn’t think I knew everything, I’ve always been an encyclopedia reader, a googler, a looker-upper of things I don’t know. I’ve always been curious. I’ve always enjoyed asking questions and soaking up knowledge from people. I wondered what it was about me that was bringing out this hostility, was I somehow acting like I knew everything? Now that I am 39 I realize what was happening, because now, I too want to grab young people and shake them and tell them how little they know (I don’t do it, I’m just acknowledging the urge within my spirit to do this) and this is just because the older you get the more you realize how insanely foolish you have been in so many ways. All of the relationship and friendship red flags, all of the neighbors you didn’t realize were creeps, all of the glasses you break and the dinners you burn and the tears you cry and the jobs you lose and the horrible, horrible poisons you put into your body. All of the sunburns. Of course, experiencing these failures and lessons and making those mistakes is how I learned all the stuff I know now, its an evolution and it’s normal but there are some things that nag and naw at you (mostly the horrible relationships I stayed in and let drag out forever, the life altering stuff that took years from me that I wish I had seen coming and protected myself from) and you are just baffled at how incredibly wrong you have been about so many things. How long it took me to let go of pain and self doubt, all that shame that kept me stagnant. Anyways, when an older person tells you that you’re stupid and you know nothing, just know that that person isn’t even looking at or seeing you in front of them, they are yelling at themselves, 20 years ago. Now- you have no obligation to tolerate that crap. But if you want to, maybe let them know that it’s not too late. And that they only know what they know now because they had to learn it, just as you must. And for the love of god, wear a moisturizer with sunscreen. Every day. My momma taught me 2 things: cash up front, and moisturizer daily. Every day when you shower, you immediately put on moisturizer.

I'm 39 and that 40-hump is admittedly a bit frightening... That said, being 30-something has been a HELL of a lot easier and less stressful than my 20s. What has been your experience being 40-something relative to your 30's?

Fuck marraige, but have you fathered some children yet?

I'm about to turn 42, and the last time I thought of age in any truly arbitrary (or communal) sense was the day I turned 40. Now it's just a number. The goal is to simply continue to work hard so that I can afford to stay alive for as long as possible. That's as reasonable as it gets, I think.

“The worst thing you can ever do when you’re frustrated is to give up and stop making music” -my clarinet teacher in college. I’ll always remember that one and I give it out as advice to a lot of fellow musicians. Music is one of those things where you always question your own ability, and to have a teacher reinforce you while also helping you get better is truly a unique experience

So well put!! I'm 46 and I connected with this at every point. Yes. Yes. Yes.

@@Blueit3 Thank you for your perspective, Gabrielle. I'm sad that this message of fear of older people, or their general maliciousness, is the one that you've grown up with. I've been fortunate in my life to have many role models and guides who were older than me and modelled a way of being in the world that kept curiosity, humility, and kindness at the forefront of our interactions. Perhaps they are in the small minority, but I wish it were not so. I learned so much from them about how aging doesn't entitle one to wisdom or mindful alertness; it still has to be hard earned and practiced daily (sometimes even with younger people as the guides). I suspect that mass media and social media in particular has exaggerated the generation gaps and generational identities of people outside of one's immediate peer group. For a lot of people, apparently, these generational stereotypes become the dominant message, such that a deep-seated wariness sets in. It (profound generational differences) is a story that sells a lot of copy, but I'm not sure there's much truth to it. A healthy skepticism around such claims is warranted, in my experience. Virtues can be found in people of many ages, even though it's probably true that the older one gets the more chances to learn one has. (That's why it's always so disheartening to meet older folks who seem stuck in their personal development, rigid in their opinions, jealous of youth around them, or blind to the opportunities in their midst.) There are good mentors out there, maybe in places where you least expect to find them. I hope that you get to meet a kindhearted older person who helps you let go of those impressions you've inherited. Cheers. Peace.

"I am often dismayed how often our society unwisely celebrates youth culture at the expense of appreciating what older generations could offer" What? What you mean by youth culture? Are you trying to say young people dont appreciate what older generations offered becuase if thats the case its not true. Then later your comment talks about how older generations screw things up for younger generations But how is this supposed to correlate with what was said before? While mentioning things like climate change, racism homphobia, sexism etc. Later the comment talks about rolemodes but how young people suppose listen when a mentality like that exist? How is it going to motivate young people & rolemodes? This isnt ment to be mean or disrespectful im justing saying that portion doent make sense, its too vague

IF you ever wanted to repudiate young people, you should show them pictures of flower power boomers when they were young. You should remind everybody that the boomers were once young and idealistic and wanted to change the world for the better - or at least they wanted to criticise the mistakes of the older generations. Then they might understand that human life is basically a story of cycles. Life is nothing more than a straight line that starts with people criticising the older generation for fucking it all up, to the same people growing older and fucking up themselves, to being one of the old farts that get criticised by the younger generation for fucking up. In fact, the phrase "OK boomer" is especially galling because when the baby boomers were babies, so much revolved around changing the mores of society and consigning the older generations to the ash heaps of history. Even the younger generation is basically in denial that the boomers were once young. That's why it's always "OK boomer" and not "OK baby boomer".

34 is still young..... ur talking like ur 54

I completely agree, our society praises people for being young as if it’s their permanent identity. I wish I had learned earlier the response “I’ll grow out of it”. It’s also hard when you’re ready to take on that older mentor role but you can’t based on your career/situation

I understand what you are saying as I am in a very similar situation. I'd say progress is different for everyone. Don't let yourself get pressured by societal standards. You are ok the way you are.

There's not a big gap between 34 and 37 guy. It's not a huge difference. You're 30s are you 30s

​@@juanmccoy3066 If you are an older person, I think you are forgetting just exactly how different 34 is from 25, and how differently society views a person in their 30s compared to a person in their 20s. Also millennials compare ourselves to our parents when they were our age, and they obviously reached a lot of "adult" milestones earlier than us.

Great (and important) insights Robert

I think you’re confusing comfort with complacency.

There's not a huge gap between 34 and 37 my guy. It's only three years.

im 20 already in college life is tough but i can already see various ways its gonna get worse why we enjoy life again?

Eh youngblood, in the spirit of recently-not young-adults-anymore mentoring young’ns, allow me to impart the #1 piece of wisdom I have learned. Keep your college major broad, as in just biology. Save the specifics like marine biology for graduate school. Also learn a trade. Like see if there’s a plumber or mechanic or whatever of that sort interests you that will give you some hours now (also a good opportunity for mentorship). The reason for this is versatility. 10-20 years from now you may find you picked a career for the wrong reasons or it isn’t what you thought it was, or circumstances may have changed. Trust me, when that happens, you want to be able to maneuver quickly and safely. Also, looks only matter for the first 6 months of a relationship, but your potential soulmate should be able to do a moderate day hike as that indication of health will play into things you can do together, risk of losing them early to disease, etc.

Grand scheme of things, I'm not much older than you, but I've done a lot of work mentoring people your exact age group, particularly the age just entering or recently going to college, so I've seen quite a bit of the things someone your age might have questions about. If you care to read on, here's some unsolicited advice (because that's what everyone older wants to do, no matter if the age gap is two years or twenty five: just tell you what to do lol). But seriously, here's something my mentors taught me, in a sort of...meta-mentorship: don't be bashful seeking out a mentor; people usually LOVE being asked for advice (to the point they sometimes just randomly offer it without being asked, say...in the comments of a youtube video?), and they're happier than you think to show you what they're doing and talk about their own mistakes they made a while back. There are exceptions, but it's usually true, if you're respectful of their time. Simultaneously, never shy away from mentoring others if you can handle it. If everyone knows something you don't, you should not only seek out mentors, but be willing to be one: someone will definitely learn something from you, provided you listen to them and don't expect them to always just immediately take your exact advice. You should always strive to be the kind of person you needed when you were younger. Other quick tips you didn't ask for but may one day be helpful: 1. People treat you, usually, as a reflection of their own reality. They can respond to the effect you have on them, but ultimately, the how and why of their treatment of you is up to them (and vice versa!) Take as few things as personal as possible. Try to ask yourself why you treated someone that way when you can. 2. It's worth turning in that assignment. Even if you don't want to do it. And even if you for some reason can't figure something out, do your best. 100% is better than 85%, sure, but 85% is also better than 60%, and so on. 3. Talk. To. Your. Professors. They're there to help, and you definitely want them to remember you. Couple years after graduating, I'm still close with a handful, both as friends and professionals. 4. Join something. Join two somethings. Don't sit in your room all day--get involved in something; don't let yourself be disappointed you didn't do it when you had the chance. You'll be more interesting and make some friends; join a recreational sports team, an amateur art club, student government, a young-professionals organization, whatever, just make sure you make connections and learn something from whatever it is you pick. 5. Take care of your friends: Watch something with them even when you kinda don't wanna; remember when they mention their birthday; watch out for them when they're drinking, some other people won't; take a walk with them when they're feeling bummed. They deserve someone's kindness, and hopefully one day, they'll return the favor. 6. Don't feel the need to immediately rush home or immediately fall into a relationship. You're growing, and you'll have time for all these things if you make it, but don't feel like it needs to be "right now."

One thing to think about is that "you today" is always in the process of creating "future you", so treat "future you" as someone you care about.

@Safwaan 2 reasons: 1) teenagers, due to theoretically having so much time left, tend to waste alot of it just vibing (not that it certainly isn’t vital to do so, they just do it excessively). This is especially frustrating to adults because of that capacity for learning coupled with expanded physical capability. 2. Teens are good at learning things but their reservoir of knowledge from which to draw is limited at that stage of life, so their ability to organize a complete plan and execute it without succumbing to any of the numerous blindspots a limited knowledge pool creates is impressive. This is why teens will often think something is risk free and their parents will be freaking out. Whether a hazard is an immediate threat or not, the parents are aware of its presence. (Some theorize this is by evolutionary design, high risk taking is needed for rapid resource accumulation and risk aversion is often key to retaining it later in life) Sorry went on a bit there. Basically adults find it impressive that a teen would have that degree of focus, dedicate their time to something productive so well, and not have it backfire somehow. However in history it was teens and young adults who society sent on the most insane missions, so this decreasing standard for young people may be exasperated by the extended adolescence problem we’ve created in the 1st world.

Wow, that's exactly the same I was going to write

I'm 31 and I think there is a bit of metabolism change that goes on in your late 20s. At least there was for me, who hasn't really changed lifestyle. You start gaining weight more easily. But here's the good news: once you go back to working out, muscle mass, protein, all that good stuff, you get lean again and you burn calories faster again. Weight-lifting is the best age-slower in terms of physical-fitness decay, I've come to realize. Hair: just take 1mg of finasteride a day, and your head will stop balding, though the previous hair loss won't be coming back. Been doing it for years, and have the exact same head of hair as I had at 26. Skin: avoid the sun (or use sun block) and use face scrub at least once a week.

I turned 23 a few months ago and my feels the same way it's felt for a while now. I'm only now graduating college though, so perhaps a lot of this sort of thing is as much psychological as it is physiological.

Use moisturizer on your face and wear sunscreen if you're going out in the sun. It goes a long way in stopping the effects of aging on your face. Also don't have a permanent raised eyebrow expression that wrinkles your forehead. I look a lot better than I did when I was 23, and I'm 33 now. I didn't even fully have facial hair at 23. Also your face matures a bit in that fat grows in different areas, which worked out well for me. Another thing I remember is how old I thought people in their late 20s were when I was in early 20s. Having passed that age already I realized that I was pretty much the same, just smarter and with more experience under my belt.

I’m 23 too and I can relate to this a lot.

Good luck on the interview!

How old are you now, if I may ask?

I get that a lot to. Compared to the rest of my family I'm seen as a failure but to people outside my family I'm like a wise beyond my years.

You and J.J. are feeling that middle age onset and wanting to express who you've become. Partly to see where the current you is being dumb or not keeping up. I'm bi and my attempts at a common life didn't work out well so now I'm alone. I no longer like people's minds a lot and have returned to enjoying youthful beauty. I might never again touch it but, like the idea of intelligence, I enjoy the appearance. J.J. is physically doing well but I got very heavy after 40. Of course, I was married and she would run off to Jack In The Box for me, as women do because they are over-helpful (I think it's a motherly instinct), but I was keen for those Supreme Breakfast Sandwiches. Being divorced has been great for my weight. haha. What I'm saying is that life comes back around and you find that you don't know squat. Nor do you care as much. I can't know anything that happens here after I die, if anything happens at all, so why pretend that I can improve it? It will be as it must and I will not.

I was going to say a very similar thing! I’m 25 (which is young but) and have a few friends who are 19-20 leaving high school entering college. And as someone who has already completed a BA and is therefore “successful”, I’ve become a mentor of sorts for them. I advise them on matters of which classes they should be taking, how to sign up for things, how to choose a major, the differences between high school and college, etc. Also I am an emotional pillar, and can help them navigate things like the emotional pitfalls of scholastic anxiety. And it’s been a really incredible feeling knowing that my rough undergrad experience can actually help people.

Idk!

That self-doubt and depression is a reflection itself and will eventually melt away and make you learn. Depression isnt something that will cling to you for life but does eventually subside. How why and in what way that happens is different for everyone, but it wont dictate your life nor will it ruin it, it will be a learning experience and one that in most cases does leave you stronger than before.

Read Meditations.

Don't let it become a negative thing, reflect but make yourself better. Don't reflect and let it get to you. Take your flaws and find a way to fix them. Sometimes you simply cannot fix them, but that's ok.

You don't.

That reminds me of the saying "Youth is wasted on the young"

@@nilawarriorprincess it's kinda harrowing that there's stuff I talked about with my father (RIP) that I still haven't done, like watching an NBA game or playing baseball (I'm not based in the USA, and baseball isn't a sport here, same with soccer, which I also want to try). I also never really learned to ride a bicycle. As an early teen, he once bought me a big bike but either because of how slow I am to learn and there were no training wheels or that I was in a bike accident once and had trauma over it, never really bothered trying to learn. We ended up lending the bike to other kids and then just gave it away.

Why? Ur not even close to middle aged yet. I'm 29 and even when i was 15 I knew that middle age didn't start until 50 or so depending on ur health and socioeconomic circumstances. If ur middle aged at 35 then ur very sick

Or get lighting as good as what I have.

@@JJMcCullough LOL; If only that was the way to “age gracefully”

Jj look in the 28-34 rage. He looks great for his age ofc but he just looks way more mature then anyone 23 or younger would look.

@@mitchellima4736 I have seen 20 year-old who I think look older than JJ and 24-31 year olds who look like kids, it depends on one's opinion

Sorry about your parents. My mom is gone now too.

I'm 26 going on 27 and I had the same anxieties when I turned 25, but it's gotten a lot better in the past couple years because I've started to really appreciate the wisdom that he was talking about and the sense of freedom that comes with not caring as much about your appearance anymore. It feels like being free to really get to know yourself and grow in ways you couldn't have understood in your early 20s.

I'm turning 23 in January.

@@tiredox3788 Congratulations, friend! I’m turning 24 this December.

@@btat16 Thanks

What was it like for you when the basketball player Michael Jordan got famous?

Rather find your purpose later in life than those many who never find it at all brother

How’d you find it?

What is your purpose?

32 seems about right

There is no defined purpose. You found something that satisfies the current you. Nothing is absolute. Even this will change with time.

Nah aging is a loss in all regards physically and socially. But its inevitable so good to accept it.

This reminds me of some people I met. Some felt the same way about their relevance fading away as they aged while others felt more like their relevance was shifting towards other focuses rather than just fading away. I think there's always some gains and losses when we age.

It looks like something I have from old navy so that might be where he got it

He said it’s from Old Navy in other comment

Thanks so much my friend

"And it just does for WEEKS, sometimes a month or more" Im 35 yo and no, i do not know this. I have been active/doing sports my entire life though

Yes that's a great way of putting it. I feel this way a lot in relation to the proliferation of online scams that seem to be targeting young people these days... a lot of the crypto stuff in particular, that really seems to pray on people who just don't have the life experience to understand how they're being hustled.

I didn't realize there was so much interpretation of the meaning of wisdom out there. I've always understood it to simply mean the application of knowledge.