Thank you for this! We also decided against sleepovers when we heard the statistic that those who predate children are often people you know 😮 Instead we organize group camping with other families a few times a year, so the kids still feel like they get to do a lot of the fun stuff of sleepovers, but at the end of the night, families go back to their own tents 👍
That’s actually a good idea. It’s fun to “sleepover “ but this way everyone is safe and comfortable. I would feel uncomfortable having someone else’s child spend the night at our place as well. It’s just best not to go down that road.
@@elizabethbrink476 agreed! Also as a child I loved the idea of a sleepover, but found myself waking up a lot in the night confused and disoriented, and desperately wanting my mom, but extremely uncomfortable with waking up my friend's parents... as a result I got 0 sleep and was a cranky mess the whole next day (as my mom would often point out).
This is what we are planning to do. Hubby and I both hated even sleeping at grandparents’ houses, much less a friend’s. You just can’t get the proper quality of rest and being at a friend’s house always seemed to allow bad choices to creep in.
Yes! My husband and I are very close with our parents and trust them implicitly so we’ve decided on grandparent-only sleepovers. I know some don’t even have the luxury of safety within their close family. 😢
In the book Crime and Punishment, the main character who commits the crime goes over it in his head obsessively beforehand, even to the point of imagining what it will sound like when he commits his act of violence, because he doesn’t want to be caught off guard and make a mistake. It’s difficult to read. But if the bad “tricky” guys are preparing themselves, then I guess we need to prepare, too, to be defensive. Thanks so much for opening this conversation.
Also, it’s a good reminder that we don’t have to plan for every eventuality, but the more we practice (and train our children to practice) planning, the more we (and they) can plan “on the go.”
I love that you are talking about this issue! Sometimes it disturbs me how little my mom friends are paying attention to our surroundings. When my kids were little I would yell “school of fish” when everyone needed to stay close. We still regularly talk about tricky people and when it’s okay to disobey/ break rules in order to stay safe.
School of fish! Wow. I love that! A few Common House moms shared great ideas like this to gather their children quickly. We just started talking about when we do "break a rule" (Thanks to this conversation.)! I think I worried I'd confuse them by adding that nuance, but, to Rick's points, kids can handle this type of conversation and thought!
Autumn, I first want to say how sorry I am that you and your children experienced such traumatic experiences while out on the trail. That isn't how many common moms imagine their out of doors experiences going at all, and I can totally understand why your were so shaken by that. I also want to acknowledge how amazing God is for using all our experiences, even the rotten ones, and allowing good fruit to grow from them. Without your encounters with these tricky people, you may have never had this conversation with Rick, and I can see that it has blessed so many women and their families already! It may possibly saves lives. Praise God! And thank you for working so hard to help your community. Prayers for safety for you and all the other common moms bringing their kids out of doors!
As a mom of 3 littles who used to be a Muay Thai fighter, trained jiu jitsu, and grew up in the hood with lots of "tricky people" (so I became very aware at a young age), I still learned a lot from this guy! This was really informative. I love the walking stick idea. Much better than trying to grapple in the woods ha ha. I want to back up what he said about training your fight or flight response. The number one thing that trained me to be calm under pressure/danger was training to fight. Now, not all women can become fighters. But the regular sparring and rolling at an intense level was priceless for helping me calm down and assess danger before reacting. I recommend all women push themselves to uncomfortable limits with martial arts. I used to cry and go to the bathroom when I got punched. Then I started training hard. And, after all that training, I became the woman who calmly walked up to a purse snatcher in the parking lot and held him down until the cops arrived. Now I feel calm whenever I see a "tricky guy." So, if ladies want to learn to be calm in the face of danger, try martial arts! It's not the only way but it's a great way to do it.
I keep hearing things like this from moms who have trained in martial arts! I'm realising even what I think I know/can imagine, I don't know. I need serious practice.
As a homeschool mom of four little ones, this was so helpful for me! We have had so many encounters with “tricky” people in the park. Increasingly, more recently, it has been homeless people asking us for money. I’m always torn, because I want to be compassionate, But some of them are legitimately dangerous, and my priority is my children’s safety. They also sometimes get very angry if I say no. After talking with my husband, I’ve decided to always have packaged food and water in my car available for them. If I feel like they aren’t a threat, I tell them my husband will not allow me to give them money, but I do have food and water. They are much less likely to get volatile/angry with me if I say “I’m not allowed” to give you money.
I feel this tension too! I worry I'm leaning too far into safety and teaching (implicitly) not to care for people who seem in need...but also, safety! But also Good Samaritan!
As a homeschool mom living in Los Angeles, I thank you for this priceless information that you’ve shared! There is so much homelessness and people on drugs everywhere we go, that having this knowledge could be a life saver. God bless you all!🙏🏻
That sleepover bit is so underrated. I was never allowed to attend any growing up, neither did my husband (precisely because you never know who’ll want to coincidentally show u that night, yikes), and our kids will never go to any either. Fantastic episode, Autumn; thank you!
So many good things in this!! I will be doing these tips and "games" with my daughter, and maybe getting a tasser. This makes me wish that our collie was still with us to take on the trails. She was an excelent watch dog. If I was by myself without my husband she was always watching over her shoulder and if there was a man behind us she would give a low growl/bark that she only used for those situations. And she would keep her eye on anyone till she could figure out if they were up to anything, but if they were freindly if given permission she would run tail wagging to them to say hi. She knew how to read people! And now we have a golden retriever who doesn't even bark when deliveries are made or when there is a pack of coyotes howling behind our house.... Thank you so much for starting this conversation! I will be sharing this with my people!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this conversation Autumn! So many practical nuggets for us mamas to implement with our children. I will definitely be showing this to my husband and talking about our plan on how to deal with tricky people. Last year while our homeschool group was meeting at the park a woman on a bike tried to abduct a child (not from our group), but some of the kiddos in our group started screaming which was helpful to scare off the predator. I would love a follow up video with Rick once his new endeavor is launched. Keep on keepin' on mama bears! -Kat
We have a baby now in addition to the big kids (going into 3rd/5th), so I’m very much outnumbered and my older kids are strong and independent. They can quickly run or explore beyond my line of vision, and one has some potentially permanent hearing loss so I’ve been really concerned about needing to increase all of our situational awareness when we’re out & about.
Abby! Hi!! So good to hear from you (and congratulations on the baby!). I love how easily and happily my kids explore but we definitely need better practices as we hit the trail in the explore years!
Thank you for this excellent discussion. I think it's information we all need to be reminded of regularly. I've had to have a talk with my daughter about how she does not have to hug or kiss anyone she doesn't want to. A friend of the family always gives her gifts and then will say, "now give me a kiss." She's a nice woman but does not understand boundaries. The first time this happened i quickly said, "blow a kiss." It was all i could think of, and the look of relief on my daughter's face was obvious. She's a very affectionate kid and loves hugs, but she knows what doesn't feel right.
Thank you Autumn for this!! Rick is a wealth of knowledge on safety and this interview was a goldmine. Loved learning some practical ways we can prepare our own mindsets as well as our children's to be aware and stay safe.
Your first video on this topic was a great conversation starter for the moms in our homeschool hiking group, and then this video REALLY got me thinking. I feel that a lot of women like me were raised to tolerate discomfort for the sake of others even if it puts us at risk. This is a trait I do not wish to pass on to my kids. You've inspired me to make several changes for ourself and our family!
I love this episode! I’m a new mom and this has been on my mind a bit. I trained with Krav Maga before my pregnancy and I miss it so much, but I try to keep running mental practices through my mind to remember everything I learned.
@@thecommonplacehomeschool oh my gosh! It’s so awesome to get a response back! You’ve been my guru for learning all things Charlotte Mason! But I learned quite a few new things and I’m excited to look more into them.
@@lydiacerdhe4060 So happy to have you around here! I try to answer every comment; when people are kind enough to respond to my video, it's rude to ignore them!
@@thecommonplacehomeschool As I’ve been pondering the past few days on this topic, I was reminded of another tip that was shared in a self defense from a retired Marine special forces veteran. He said that statistically, many police officers have the name Mike, and that if you are faced with a tricky man who is not being belligerent but maybe just watching you, particularly in a public place, to call out for Mike. He said that can even be enough to scare off a tricky watcher/stalker type.
Autumn thank you so much for this video! What age would you start doing these things exercises? I have a 2.5yr old. I’m curious what age is more or less more appropriate to start teaching about tricky people and exit plans and these wonderful strategies. Thank you ❤️
It’s such a shame taking your family to enjoy the outdoors these days is in fact putting your family at serious risk and risk numerous terrible possibilities . Especially with this brilliant OPEN BOARDER
Isn’t it awful not to go and enjoy nature without having to think through these things? But I’m grateful Rick came on to share his wisdom and will be retuning soon with part 2!
Our friends had a pedo in their culdesac with a daughter the same age as theirs. Another mom picked up the vibe and talked to all the parents, which tipped off his poor wife who found evidence and turned him in! Protecting children requires acting on a hunch not evidence. Stereotypes save lives.
Oh wow. Another tip: you can look up registered sex offenders in your area. My husband does this regularly for the blocks around us and knows what the cars look like. (All public information.)
Funny how many people after the fact will insist they "had a hunch" but did nothing. Then have the audacity to pretend to be sympathetic. Kudos to those who actually get a funny feeling and actually speak up.
It’s such a shame taking your family to enjoy the outdoors these days is in fact putting your family at serious risk and risk numerous terrible possibilities .
