How much Do Japanese Girls Cheat? 

TOKYO GUIDEBOOK takashifromjapan.com/tokyocompleteguide

It would be interesting if you asked these questions to women outside of Tokyo in smaller cities or in the countryside.

I think the reason this guy is the best interviewer is cause he's respectful and doesn't get in peoples faces and make them feel uncomfortable. Brilliant interview technique imo.

When I was living in Japan, I’ve been told by many Japanese friends that Tokyo is the worst place in Japan for them. When I asked why, they said the stress and quality of life is the worst. Also they said Tokyo could be a very materialistic place compared with many other parts of Japan. I guess if we interview people in Los Angeles compared with interviewing people from Hawaii or Pennsylvania, the answers might vary greatly.

Translating Fuzoku(風俗) as prostitution is kinda wild. You gotta explain what kind of Fuzoku they are referring to. Like this girl at 3:00 is depicting the non-sexual situation, like eating & drinking with women at a nightclub/bar sort of situation. According to your definition, Hooters and strip clubs would also be prostitution. Also I think you should interview women in other places under the sun too. I'm a Japanese women myself and these women who are roaming around in this part of Tokyo at night are a different kind of breed imo. It would be biased to, for instance, catch a bunch of young people roaming around Las Vegas, interview them, and conclude that Americans are unchaste and slovenly, wouldn't it😅

"Don't cheat on me, just go to a brothel. As long as you pay, it's fine." A COMPLETELY different society over there...

Takashii single-handedly destroying everyone's illusions about Japan. :D

I'm Japanese, but please don't take the opinions in this interview as general... This interview is taking place in a nighttime entertainment district. This may sound discriminatory and rude, but I personally feel that many of the people who come to such places are vulgar. At least no one I've ever met would approve of cheating! If a friend says it's OK to cheat, I question their sanity. Of course, there may be some people who are okay with cheating, but it's probably not the norm. I'm very shocked. Please don't apply this to all Japanese people. Honest people don't cheat. Even if they did, it wouldn't be something they would say so brazenly. This is an act that I deeply regret and am ashamed of.

It's hard for me to understand why someone would feel okay with cheating. Cheating goes against my values, and it's a reflection of their character. In my culture, people who cheat are looked down upon

To explain a bit: the term used in the video for 'cheating' is '浮気' in Japanese. 浮気 means 'in love with another one', that's why some of them think prostitution is not 浮気 as it does not include emotional feeling to the prostitute. There is another term in Japanese that has similar meaning, which is '不倫'. 不倫 means 'having sex with another one', but Takashii did not use this word because 不倫 is a term that is only used on people who are married (which most of the interviewees are obviously unmarried). Therefore, there is no such exact word that can perfectly match the term 'cheating' in Japanese as in English.

The level of nuanced insight into Japanese culture has been incredible. There is so much more that we non-Japanese folk will ever see or know. Thank you so much Takashi-san.

As a Japanese man, it is very bizarre to me lol... My wife would cut my jewels off if I went to a brothel, whether emotional attachments were involved or not. That being said, when I was in Tokyo in the early 2000s, I used to work as a host to help pay for college, and I remember more and more frequent were married women showing up for a "fun time" ... after being dropped off by their husband who went his own separate way to a next-door brothel. I was very confused by it, but I never said anything. After all, they were clearly opened with the arrangements. I also remember a few years ago, I was staying at a friend's home in Tokyo for a night. I accidentally overheard he and his wife talking. She handed him allowance money and said, "I'm tired. Go find a prostitute. I'm going to bed." as if it were a completely normal thing. Wow... Overall, however, I still really don't think this is the norm. I've talked with quite a bit of people on this subject when I went to go visit my hometown in Ehime. They are people who I know closely, who are willing to give me honest answers. Whether man or woman, every single person I spoke with do not agree with the statements made in this video and in fact really hate how people in Tokyo and Kyoto view things this way. Thus, it is likely that majority of Japanese people in smaller cities or rural regions do not share the sentiments in this video.

It's interesting to see how, in Japan, men and women seem to separate emotion and sex when it comes to relationships. In most other countries, the physical aspect of a relationship is what takes it from casual to serious, at least in theory. I would have liked it if Takashii had asked them if, once married to someone, their opinion of visiting a brothel changes, or if they still think it's ok, as long as their spouse lets them know.

As a Japanese, I want to say that girls in Shibuya do not represent average girls in Japan.

This is wild. I think in the USA cheating with a prostitute would be considered one of the worst cheating you could do in a relationship

I always find your channel really informative. I lived in Japan for almost a year and I know that during that time I only scratched the surface. Your channel is one of the ways I keep on learning. This video was very surprising and also not. It was like the silent part I subconsciously knew being spoken aloud. If that makes sense 😅

The answer that made me laugh most. "Who cheats more, men or women?" "Women are better at hiding it." She did not say yes or no. She seemed to mean, ~You won't know, if we do cheat~

One of the many reasons I divorced my ex husband (he was Japanese) is that he thought going to the brothel after work was not cheating, even after I told him from the start of our dating my beliefs. I no longer live in Japan, but their ideas on cheating is so incompatible with mine.

I'm an American and this is the fifth video I've seen of yours and it's very interesting. Thank you for sharing this information and please thank your participants for sharing.

i do believe that in a relationship, contentment and respect is so important.

My Japanese husband has been cheated on by his Japanese ex-girlfriend. He said that he himself would never cheat on his partner, as he knows from his own experience how much it hurts the other person who is being cheated on.

Non Japanese / foreigners / otaku weebs dreams of seriously dating and marrying a native Japanese person from Japan shattered like a shattered broken window on boulevard of broken dreams LOL. Takashii did a video last month when he asked Japanese men on cheating. I'm glad he asked both genders and see both sides' perspective on it. There are many other RU-vid videos from other Japanese RU-vidrs on this same subject.

fascinating take on a hot topic! keep up the great work!

great questions and directly! Japanese social patterns are complicated for me.

I have been living in Japan for 8 years and my wife has a few friends like this. I gave up trying to understand things like "it's acceptable to go to a brothel" but "dinner with someone" isnt

It’d be cool to hear what different generations think about this issue too.

Excellent interview.

I'm from Saudi Arabia This video gave me goosebumps and scared me with these responses , i did not know that Japanese people had this perception about dating .. if my wife / girlfriend would allow me to go to a Brothel as long as i had no emotional attachment to that prostitute then i'd think there's something wrong with our relationship and she might also be keen on seeing someone behind my back if she hadn't already had done it . I would not be able to live peacefully with myself at all , This is unbelievable and shocking to me although i know perhaps many Japanese would disagree with these interviewees it seems like this dating culture is spreading wide and beyond even those 3 girls .. the one girl who had a different opinion she kept on eyeing her friends and seemed hesitant to voice her opinion not be seen as a prude . Thank you for this video Takashii chan .

Generally everyone is free to have whatever relationship they want, but the argument "I'd rather have him go to a brothel than fall in love with someone else" makes me deeply sad. Why should you even have to make that choice and accept one of the options?

At end of the day it really depends on the person. but what’s your opinion of this dating/cheating culture in Japan?

Interesting answers. Thank you for sharing.

My thoughts of a Japanese woman being very loyal are crushed… but thank you now I know.

Damn bro. Seeing people being so open and shameless about betraying their partner like that makes me sad.

I am Japanese and heres my thoughts. They hate cheating, but "since everyone around me thinks okay i dont want to be odd one out, so it will be fine" is what they think Edit: for those who think why do they cheat, when they hate it? It's the same thing as, why do you tip when you hate it?

One of the best interviews in Japan you made

Great video and effort

You can see the gears in their heads working overtime thinking about the deeper side of the interviews. It's obvious that the cheating/prostitution thing is an issue. Great topic of choice Takashii.

You should interview mixed couples (Japanese/foreign) and see if the foreigner has those worries or if they would be okay with paid services as long as there’s no emotions. It’d be interesting to see the difference in dynamics the 2 different upbringings might present

This is super interesting to hear their perspectives

"Its ok to have sex with someone else, as long as you pay" that really blows my mind to how diffrent our views are on these kind of things.

Life is complicated but sometimes very simple : if I want short term relationships, meeting girls, then I don't put myself in a couple status. Follow your own choices even if you come to regret later but don't hurt someone's feeling and more importantly don't make them waste their time and lose opportunities that might not present themselves again when you're having fun in the backstages.

I am literally stunned. Thanks so much for making videos like this it is extremely intriguing learning how much of a bubble I’m in and just how differently other cultures can think about things.

Interesting topic...

Just found your channel Takashii. Good content. Thanks.

I find it somewhat funny how having dinner with a girl can be seen as cheating but going to a prostitute is not. I would say that having sex forms a way stronger emotional bond than having dinner.

I just dont get it. What is the point of being in a relationship if both of them are just gonna cheat? Is being in a relationship seen as prestigious?

The more we all learn about each other’s cultures and ways of looking at the world, the more peaceful we will become. These videos help that mission.

I lived in Japan for a year and this video is very accurate about the dating culture. Actually my ex (Japanese) wanted to see me with another man lol I think it’s pretty common that sex and emotions are separate

I honestly think "going for dinner with a girl without telling me is cheating" is a weirder sentiment than "seeing a prostitute isn't cheating as long as you tell me."

One of the most horrible things you can do to someone, is to be relationship with that person and not really care about that person...

That girl that said she only says prostitution isn’t cheating because she doesn’t want to seem clingy proves that these poor women are conditioned to think this way

00:00 🇯🇵 Japanese friends discussing cheating and visits to adult establishments, seeking clarity on whether it constitutes infidelity. 00:41 🥀 Unhappy in current relationship, struggling to endure it. Met at a club, initial interest faded quickly. Partner's persistence led to difficulty refusing a relationship. 01:23 🔄 Views on visiting adult establishments: belief that it's not necessarily infidelity, though reasons may vary. 02:03 🛡️ If partner wants to visit adult establishments, likely to result in separation. Personal stance: such behavior is unacceptable. 03:54 🌍 Foreign viewers express surprise at the acceptance of partners visiting adult establishments in Japan. Considered unique to Japanese culture. 04:33 📈 Discussion on whether Japanese women are more prone to infidelity. Opinion leans towards not being significantly different from men. 06:24 🗣️ Observing friends' infidelity experiences: some intervene, others refrain, depending on closeness of the relationship. 07:46 🗣️ Openness about desires for visits to adult establishments: seen as acceptable if communicated honestly within the relationship. 09:19 💬 Varied views on infidelity: some advocate stopping a friend, while others prioritize personal enjoyment in life. 10:31 📊 Discussion on male infidelity: perception that both genders are capable, with women potentially better at concealing it.

I'm a man and I've never cheated on any of my girlfriends because I respected them and didn't want to hurt them. How can you be truly intimate with someone if you're cheating?

It’s cool to see they can talk about their different opinions and stances even though they are friends and together, in the states if one girl said no they all would out of fear of shame or embarrassment

a tip on your interviews - ask for people that are on their own and not with friends. People tend to lie/respond to according to their friends next to them which then wouldn't reflect their true insight

I was shocked that they are just okay with their partner going to the brothel. Thanks for this eye opener Takashi. I really appreciate it bro and you are so good interviewing, very respectful, keep it up.

Omg I feel so bad for that poor girl who said she would seem clingy if she considered her boyfriend going to a prostitute to be cheating! That’s so sad. Takashi, sweep this girl off her feet and treat her right!!

Very interesting

Entertaining interviews and answers, a facet of Japanese culture I was not aware of, Japan culture is fascinating, and it is good to see a sense of humor. How about asking do you believe in global warming ? then ask if so, how to divert the world from the dire consequences ? and what actions should be taken now and in the next 5 years to avert the high temperature damage expected ?

This generation is cooked 😢

The girls seem pretty open to the idea of their boyfriends having a physical relationship with other women as long as it doesn't involve an emotional relationship, as well. And they admit that they don't like this, but that they don't want to be seen as clingy. No mention about the risks of Mr. Boyfriend bringing home an STD, developing an emotional relationship with a girl he's cheating with, or of him getting the other girl pregnant. Also, the focus is solely on the actions of the guy -- while the girls are seemingly O.K. with the guys cutting loose, does that men that guys can expect their girls to also be as casual with their extra-curricular activities, too?

Ok, this video convinced me to move to Japan.

As an American, this is a total culture shock, but as an alpha male, I see this as an absolute win.

Its wild how widespread this has become in Japan, its almost like its a tradition for them to cheat

Syphilis is popping off in tokyo for a reason😬 ive always heard about this I was shocked when I first heard my Japanese friend casually talk about her friends hickey being from another man nonchalantly and i asked well what happens if he finds out and she said probably just get mad like What

2:47 I love how her two friends like huddle together putting distance from her lol :D

Takashi is all glued after the video 😂

I live in Europe and about half my friends have cheated. Maybe I should find better people to hang out with lol

I'd like you to ask women in Japan if they themselves are paying for sexual services, do they consider it as cheating. Most interviews I've seen revolves around men going to brothels and women being okay with it but there's also such a thing for women (host clubs, etc.). Also if they have a sex friend while in a relationship, do they consider that as cheating or not. I mean people in Japan tend to separate relationships and sex so I think it'll be interesting to hear more on this.

I'm starting to understand that in earlier interviews like what I think was called "What doe Japanese people think about dating foreigners" some individuals were saying that Religion may be an issue in their relationship with a foreigner.. This is the reason why. Not because they wouldn't be able to adapt to rituals or whatever else for some reason. They don't want to be tied down to a single person for the rest of their lives in high stress situations. Maybe there's exception to my assumption, or maybe my assumption is off by a mile but I wish Japanese people and anyone looking for Love in Japan the best.

I bet people from outside of Japan look down on Tokyo the same way we look down on London here.

This is really shocking but I'm not surprised. Been cheated on by a Japanese girl and only found out through her IG that she was dating another person. It hurts, but now that I watch this video, it seems like it's so normalised. Thanks for another wonderful video again Takashii-san!

The 2nd girl in the first interviewees who said she doesnt cheat and says the things we would expect as cheating is kind of rare in japan nowadays

Say less, I am on my way to Japan now

It's fascinating how different their culture is. It's really such an alien outlook to me (Australian), everyone here would regard visiting a brothel as cheating. It seems Japanese people put less emphasis on physical cheating and more on emotional. People in the west are more possessive in general, I wonder if that means they have better relationships, or worse. However I'd be curious to see these same questions asked of the men, as I always find men and women have very different outlooks on issues like this. Particularly they are always eager to think badly of the other as a group.

As a follow-up question -- if people having sex with prostitutes is quite normalised, does that mean that sex workers themselves are not stigmatised? Or is it that the social stigma ends up attached entirely to the prostitute while the person paying them isn't judged?

After watching all these interviews about how casual Japanese people are with cheating, suddenly I realize why NTR is such a popular genre in the doujin scene. Don't ask me how I know this I just know.

Im surprised tbh. I expected not too many of them to be okay with brothels.

Some interesting answers here. Some of them seem pretty laid back about it.

I really feel like being honest is the top priority, anything else can be overlooked or forgiven bc your word about how you truly feel can be trusted. I appreciate the insight of this video because it reiterates the fact that theres no one clear cut way to perceive things or live life.

Damn this was very real, the last women stating "both cheat a lot, but women hide it better" is the best way to put it.

Just Subbed

5:34 the girl reasoningbis so sad for me, like, girl you are NOT clingy for wanting some boundaries in your Relationship 😔

I'm a guy, moved to Tokyo recently and I have high values for a monogamous relationship. This is kind of scary and makes me think twice getting into a relationship.

Cheating: yep Tattoos: absolutely not

That girl really re-evaluating her friendship with the other girl in the first interview lmaoo

Love The Girl In The Black Leather Jacket!

I believe it is important to establish boundaries about sex. I’m not in favor of being in a sexual relationship with someone that is having sex with other people. This is a health issue for me because there are STD’s that can destroy a life. I believe if this is communicated up front before engaging in a sexual relationship then everyone understands and has a choice. If someone then goes outside that agreement then it is cheating.

Could you do these types of questions but to foreigners residing in Japan? would be interesting to see their point or view or experiences regarding this topic, since they are currently living in the culture that houses it, could be a good outlook to see

Even takashi was surprised

I should say the girls are very understanding and honest.

I think there is a lot of nuance and deeper issues here than what we are able to see in these videos. It sounds like emotional cheating is harder to accept than sexual (which in some ways makes sense, but also depends on how you view sex). It would be interesting to hear about married couples (especially with motherhood). Also would be interesting to hear from gays/lesbians. It's cheating if he hides it, it's okay if he pays someone...sounds to me like they're saying it's okay as long as he comes back to me. We also need to be careful about making general assumptions. While there may be a "cheating culture" in Japan, it doesn't mean all Japanese do it, nor is cheating unique to Japan.

Some context that might be worth considering in this topic : > The Japanese word for “cheating” in the romantic sense is _not the same_ as English. “Uwaki”(浮気) literally means “fleeting feeling”, mainly about being fickle. It’s almost a neutral word with no inherent nuance of “deceiving or betrayal” like the English word “cheating”, which is inherently malicious. That might be why they don’t take it as seriously and joke about it being “fun” and encourage to others, more like “experimenting around”. Technically, it is possible to be “Uwaki” with the partner’s knowledge, making it closer to open relationship. There are different words for “cheating” with heavier guilt/shame, but almost never used romantically. “Furin(不倫)”, specifically meaning “adultery” is not used casually and is even considered a crime. > Prostitution in Japan, “Fuuzoku”(風俗), technically can’t include intercourse/penetration as it’s prohibited by law. So it’s more things like hj/bj. So depending on people’s definition, some may not consider it “having sexual relation” but just “receiving a service”, and lessens many issues regarding prostitution like loss of virginity, pregnancy and STD’s Not making any moral judgements, but since people are wondering why Japan’s view on this is so different, such contexts on linguistics and culture may have a role on it.

This is so unbelievably fascinating to me. I'd be intrerested to hear the same questions asked to men.

Well, for me being an American, Just knowing Japanese woman hold that kind of values is a real turn off. Loyalty to one's love should be absolute. The reason such Ideals still exist in the minds of Japanese woman is because they've always been treated like sexual possessions rather than Beautiful human beings of king & Queen partnership. While I think most of the Japanese woman I've seen are really beautiful. Their low sense of self worth & equality even in relationships is a turn off for real men. I want my Lady to never want to leave, not stay because she feels like property, and cultured to tolerate sharing her sex life with prostitutes. The respect you give should equal the respect your given, otherwise you're my pet not my partner.

This is very informative, and I'm quite shocked at how lenient they are when it comes to cheating. Terrifying to me as someone who values monogamy

I'd be curious to know if/how much other cultural norms affect each other. In the case of the first girl, it sounds like another cultural norm there is influencing her decision making; the "honne/tatemae" concept. She could have just told the guy she's not into him, sparing them both. Instead, choosing to live the lie and let bad feelings and behaviours fester. Choosing not to tell the truth has only made him lonely and likely hurt, and her, a cheater. It's such a toxic mentality. I feel like all these issues, (the cheating being ok if "you don't love them", affection not being publicly acceptable, work culture and honne/tatemae) all contribute to and exacerbate each other. Clearly people are craving physical affection, but it almost seems like you're not supposed to get it from someone you're close with, because then you would have to go through the awkward talk of telling your partner your true feelings and risk upsetting them, and you don't want to rock the boat (collectivism mentality+honne/tatemae). This definitely doesn't help the declining birthrates.

this is an eye opening info about japanese people... I should have changed citizen a long time ago.. hahahah

in America its way different, any sort of affection towards another person is usually considered cheating and would end the relationship right there. but thats the world so many different cultures and mindsets everywhere.

Thank you for following up with women’s perspective on cheating. It was really interesting when it was pointed out that Japan’s strict work culture could play a part in their desire (both men and women) to not have restrictive relationships and that the Japanese have a more distinct separation between physical and emotional cheating. I appreciate your thought provoking interviews. Keep up the great work!