How my ADHD hides my autism 

After that, may I suggest a song that shows the intersection ASD & ADHD? I suggest Bo Burnham's, "Left Brain, Right Brain" where the left brain bits are essentially ASD and the right brain bits are essentially ADHD? He got there before the DSM did. Here's a link with lyrics - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-edmIy21ds2c.html

I've not been officially diagnosed with either yet. I have thought I have ADHD for a long time and, in fact, have been tested. However, I was tested about 25 years ago when the diagnostic tools were based on adolescent boys. I was around 20, at the time and that also played into the lack of diagnosis... Especially since I had a dr who wanted to prescribe Ritalin for me when I was in elementary school. As for Autism, there are things that make me think I might also have that. Most of my life I have been treated with clinical depression, which I won't argue with, but the inability to do the things I REALLY want to do (not to mention the things I don't really want to do), doesn't help. I was SUPER hyper up until I was about 10 and went through a lot of stuff which resulted in severe depression and a total lack of caring about school. I had a hard time at school too because of my sleeping patterns, already. In 5th grade I had a teacher with an obsession for making his students cry, once they did, he left them alone. I was so incredibly self conscious, but also extra sensitive to criticism so I, literally, feel like my brain broke. I believe I have the RSD that comes with ADHD but, possibly the over self awareness of autism that resulted in me not crying. IDK, it makes sense in my head... Anyways, I am in my 40s now and I look back and just wish my mom would have allowed my dr to put me on the Ritalin, while it would probably not have helped with the teacher situation, it might have made some other stuff easier. I feel like I could have done so much with my life and accomplished so much more if I had been able to focus and maybe without the focusing issue, my depression would not have gotten so out of control. I have 3 kids and it kills me because I see a lot of the issues I have struggled so hard with, in them.. And because I have never been diagnosed or treated, their childhoods were not what they should have been. So then there is the guilt that adds to everything too. LOL.. on the talking thing.. I had a keychain when I was younger that said, "those who don't know me, think I'm quiet. Those who do know me, wish I was".. I can relate to the over talking once you get to feeling comfortable with someone.

Yes but I thought agonising over tiny decisions was ADHD... I'm confused.

Oh NOOOOO. This is me! I will cry if I get the wrong soap, but don’t even blink randomly choosing where to live/what to study for school. Big life decisions are no big deal but the small things, the small things break my world.

I'm crying... me, too 😢

Im viewing myself

Holy crap! I literally walked out of a job I had for 3 years and changed career paths on a whim. But deciding what I want to wear at a party has me stressed to no end! Why brain 🧠?

Same. but I kind of put myself in the introvert group because of the many times that I need to be by myself to recharge or "reset"

your comment describes me as well

So much same!!! Diagnosed with ADHD as a kid (boy) I am more recently discovering my autistic side since I stopped drinking to mask my symptoms

I'm definitely introverted because that's when I recharge my energy, and I don't really have any problems with being on my own, but many people probably see me as an extrovert because I talk a lot when I'm among people I know.

Same here!!!

Happy late birthday! I am in my 50s and female and I have gotten really nothing over the years. Self diagnosed and if my mom was still alive, she would be in her 90s. I know people of your generation really had no help at all. I’m sure it has been quite a journey. I’ve always struggled so much with depression and anxiety. And I have tried to mask from a very young age not even knowing what I was doing or exactly why. I hope you had a great birthday.🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

👏👏👏👏Much love to you and happy birthday to youuu💋(🍰🎂💐a bit late hahaha😂I just read you) It's never too late for us💪💜, society taught us more&more( my 2nd diagnosis after ADHD, :aspergers so autism was also around an important period in my life, like you:xmas. Haha. And I'm also an adult(37) .. So I feel a bit like you. Better late than never, and I wish you were my grandma you seem very interesting&kind☺️❤) wish you the best life now that you know

Happy belated birthday, grandma! (In my culture, we call Elders grandma/grandpa (translated to English) out of respect and care. I just saw your comment, and culturally and personally, definitely want to show you appreciation for your knowledge, experience, and hard work. My tunkšilsa (grandfather - toonk - she - la) who raised me was 88 when he passed when I was 15, (Almost 10 years ago) is someone who I love and respect with all of my being, and who gave me a very special appreciation for Elders, especially as my culture does. Of course, us being First Nations people, our experiences vastly differ. (what we Native people call ourselves, also Indigenous - many of us very much dislike being called "Native American" as we are not american and never will be) A great example is that it was illegal to leave the Rez until the late 70s. You would literally be arrested if you left the Reservation. Having been raised by an Elder has affected everything I do, and I'm so grateful for the life experience that has given me. I share this so you understand that people from other cultures and Nations see you and grieve with you for your pain, though we have very different experiences. I know (as much as I can) that you've gone through an incredible amount of grief and pain, and this should have never happened. I'm so sorry for the things you've gone through. It's hard enough having these conditions now, I can only imagine how much more difficult it's been for you. It's important to me personally, and to my People, for you to know that you're loved, seen, and appreciated for who you are, what you've gone through, and all you've accomplished. I hope this message finds you well, and I wish the best for you and yours. I'm proud of you, grandma. Thank you for all you've done for everyone in this lifetime. You are loved, seen, and appreciated. I hope you had a wonderful birthday, and I wish you peace and happiness. Merry Met and Blessed Be 🧙🏽 Much love from the Lakȟóta O'yaté ✊🏽 🧡 (O'yaté - Nation (in Lakȟótiyapi, my first and ancestral language)) Mitáku'ye o'yásíŋ 🧡 (we are all related/we are all one)

@@traditionalnative cooool. Nice message&it's interesting!maybe Asian world🤔... Or what is your culture if is okay to ask..?

Happy (very belated!) Birthday! What a journey you have been on. I was late diagnosed (48, now 55) ADHD, but almost certainly have autism as well, so I can somewhat relate to you. I don't know much about you, but I know you are a strong person for what you have gone through. I bet you have a wealth of knowledge you can share in this forum to help others. I wish the help had been there for you sooner, and I grieve with you in that. I saw a series about ADHD years ago that talked about elderly people in nursing homes and how many, many of them diagnosed with dementia actually have undiagnosed ADHD. So utterly sad that they had been mentally beaten down by a society that refused to understand their weaknesses and allow their strengths to flourish. 😢 I hope we can create change for future neurodiverse people so this will stop happening. Take care. 🙏

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can relate to so much of this. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a child, but feel like I might be closer to AuDHD. My family has noticed an overlap in traits between the two, even though I’ve never had an autism diagnosis.

Yes, when my son was being considered for an ADHD Dx I realized that was me too. What's really weird is that I was able to get that additional Dx of Autism while it took me several years to find a professional who'd Dx my son with autism. I found a great psychologist who didn't take long at all to Dx him with autism too.

This video, and your comment in particular have been a revelation to me. I have been struggling ever since I had my daughter. My 'baby brain' never went away....she's 15 now! I'm so grateful to you for sharing this.

I think I am the same. I was diagnosed with autism in my 20’s but I suspect I have ADHD. Especially since the adult version is different than as children. Trying to seek an ADHD diagnosis.

You have precisely described my experience. I'm the opposite; ADHD-I diagnosis, no autism diagnosis, but I'm pretty sure I have it.

I was diagnosed with ADHD and am not quite unsure that I'm not also autistic :D

And one of them is playing really annoying music but you can't figure out which! 🙈

I literally have a bunch of open tabs on my Google Chrome and also in my brain and I'm an AuDHD myself 😂

"Brain twin" Word win!

Yeah, I've found every experience shared in this video *extremely* relatable.

Totally helping me understand my situation. Thanks, Sam!

YES, same, well put!!

absolutely. Well said.

wow, nicely said, that is exactly how i feel reading these comments, i relate, but.. ............nicely said

The second half of this comment describes me in a nutshell. Want to achieve and do big things, live a vibrant city and globetrotting life, try everything, craving attention etc. but the other half just wants to mong out at home with a cat, listen to rain and nature sounds in a house somewhere quiet and rural, do my own thing for hours at a time everyday and never have to worry about being overwhelmed or stressed out.

I have scarcely related to anything more in my life.... Ik I'm adhd, never really considered autism. Figured I'm just an introvert, a fairly social introvert, but when I'm done I'm done. Back to the birds nest lol.... but I'm absolutely a creature of habit in so many ways, and I crave solitude and softness... and very sensitive sensory wise. But then I get bored.... need physical, mental and emotional stimulation simultaneously in big doses. It's difficult for sure... but looking at it objectively it's cool to be so diverse... if only the world was ok with me shifting from loud af to mute at the drop of a dime. Or if I couldn't feel the way they look at me, all would be fine. 😅

Yep can switch from party animal to hermit like stepping into a parallel universe. Totally confusing everyone, they can almost feel ghosted, because I can fall into mutism not able to communicate when I've burned the social oil. I feel guilty because I turn from fun and funny friend to silent monk. Nowadays I try to inform people almost up front so they hopefully don't take it personally because it is really not their fault. But most people are still hurt. And that pains me.

@@Pouquiloury during those party/adventurous/high energy states, I tend to attract and befriend a lot of people who are permanently in that state, so when I go into a social burnout/recovery phase, they just can’t understand so take it personally and get offended :( I’ve noticed that going to sleep earlier (almost impossible in early 20s in 24/7 always on the go city life), eating more protein and taking high dose amino acids help me recover faster/prolong the high energy phase. It seems like my mind and body needs more energy and fuel to life that kind of lifestyle compared to my peers, as I seem to burn through my reserves faster.

Oh, yes! Need to know in advance so I can plan and adjust - CHECK. Unless it's something I came up with myself - CHECK. Thrive on routines but get bored easily - CHECK.

Yes please do the other video also.

@@WilliamFontaineJrI second this!

I would love to see this too. I definitely feel it much more that Autism is hiding my ADHD, rather than the other way round, so it would be interesting to see Samdy Sam's take on this. I've definitely noticed that the balance of my traits has changed over time, and I was a lot more outwardly ADHD in my behaviors in my teens and 20s, and as the years and decades have gone on, it feels like the Autism has become more dominant. I started a thread about this elsewhere on social media and many people seemed to agree that the dominance of the traits can shift a lot over time, both over the long term and short term. It's a very interesting, but complicated and confusing subject to try and make sense of from the inside. This is why channels such as this are so helpful. Yo Samdy Sam's being one of the most helpful ones I have found to date.

Yeah, the dominance of the traits does shift over time both quickly and slowly. There are many good neurodivergent youtubers, but I find Sam the most relatable. She's so much like me!

100 % me.. and my son

I am the same way when I take my meds!! However, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 10, and autism just this year at 23 :).

literally same. a few years ago i started a new adhd med that was not stimulant, and suddenly my autistic traits hit me like a bus. my adhd was accomodated for, I wasn't as impulsive, unconcentrated (which i personally think i never really was, lots of adhd traits literally just aren't accurate for me even though i got the diagnosis at 9) etc. and i became really sensory sensitive, introverted (i always was but my adhd impulsivity and hyperactivity masked it), etc

I couldn't handle any of the stims or nonstims so they switched me to Effexor and I am like "Help me with my ADHD, please!!" I think I liked it better when my autism came through :/

​@@dean1111- I recently saw a video, where a Dr. Daniel Amen talks about seven (7) types of ADD, and how he would treat them. This is based on thousands of brain scans 😮

That IS interesting!

I have heard others say that they pull against each other, but I find that they actually are a perfect combination for me. FOR ME! You are right, that I have two modes, silent or talking too much! 🙄 That said, since getting my ASD diagnosis, while trying to get treatment for my ADHD which I was diagnosed with in 1994 ish, and got no treatment and have never known exactly what it was doing to my life till now. I have been in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and it has helped me a 1000% percent. I commented above on how the two benefit me.

Only dx'd ASD last year and self dx ADHD. For some years though whenever I've tried to explain my struggles to MH professionals, I've said two sides to my brain and a constant battle going on. 😮

@@lemonladyYT ive just been saying that my duel diagnosis make me a paradox. I know that no 2 asder look the same but most dont even see my asd as my adhd is much more dominant from the outside looking in . Personally i lean on my adhd alot to cope with issue that arise thats purely asd . The superpower that sux .. lol Or as Henry Rollans say , the why not factor, just do it because you can . Thats why he is constantly to war torn countrys on humanitarian missions to meet the real people and try to be part of a solution... purely driven by his adhd impulsivity...

Yeah. And when people ask me to tell about myself, I can't really say anything. I'm not really shy, but I'm not an extrovert. I'm enjoying social interaction, yet I hate it. Pretty much nothing about me is clearly defined, other than having a strong sense fairness. Everything else depends on the time of day, and my brain refuses to give me the schedule. It's so frustrating.

Novelty seeking and Stimming

Lost her after 5 min😬🤦‍♀️

Bless you

oh, you have my brain, or I have your brain

I relate so much to this.

ME

I very much relate to this.

With compensatory strategies for memory problems I barely relate to any of the social media content about ADHD, which is also why I didn't even consider AuDHD until 10 years after I found out about autism. But my disorganization and executive functioning (less distraction, more just ... not doing it) is severe. And like I said, memory is just compensated but it's not enough for a job and household chores at the same time.

oh yeah, that totally makes sense to me!

For me, RSD is often the switch between them. Even someone politely asking me to be less loud or to give them some space can just send me from excitable and Social to an instant reclusive shutdown. I'll stick around but be usable to talk to people for more than a few seconds at a time

@annabellefawn4171 yeah I've had experiences where someone thought a joke was funny and was just having fun with me make me feel horrible, then I have a shutdown entirely. That's a a rough one

The doubled up debuff is such an excellent way to put it 😭

@LunarWind99 yeah unfortunately I have a lot experience in that. Best I can do is make a joke about it😅

I do that also. I learned way back in my 20s to just "ride with it" - which, for me, means accepting that I need to be really certain that something needs to change before I take action but at the same time trusting that I've been processing things enough subconsciously so that I'm really ready for the change.

relatable! (ADHD-diagnosed, about to seek evaluation for autism as well.)

...This... this is a mental disorder thing... OH MY GOSH. I uh... might need an Autism evaluation. I'm notorious for making HUGE life decisions seemingly out of nowhere, when in reality I've been thinking of it for months. This happened when I broke up with my ex. I had been talking about it and pondering leaving the relationship behind the scenes for like two months. Naturally I talked to him about what was wrong and what I needed until one day the pondering and wondering spilled over and I actually did it.

​@@flutenanyidk1806not "a mental disorder thing" it's specifically one person's experience of being Autistic but the impulsivity of moving to a new place & quitting their job sounds like an ADHD thing. This isn't an attack or anything so I hope you don't take it that way. It's just me specifying things as a means to prevent any misinformation being spread (an Autistic trait-the need for accurate information).

@@flutenanyidk1806 I can relate to this. I’d been looking, for about a year or two, for a flat to get a mortgage on (limited budget) so I could move out of my mum’s. My counsellor suggested that I buy a boat - I dismissed the idea for quite a while, thinking it seemed crazy, but in the end I did buy one, and it happened so fast! She sent me info on a boat that I couldn’t find when I went to look it up, but I went to see a different one a few days later and virtually bought it on the spot. Most of my life savings, 20 miles away, on the edge of two towns I low key hated and swore I’d never move to. I definitely should have held back and taken more time looking at different boats, but overall it has worked out in terms of getting independence and some distance from an unhealthy situation.

Cool story❤❤very interesting👍

It is true sometimes it's crazy how it "runs in the family"... Thanks to your daughter's diagnosis, your hubby could see it.. Wow😮

This is me as well! My 6 year old daughter was just diagnosis AuDHD and my husband is in the process of getting formally diagnosised but we are pretty sure it's AuDHD because she is his mini me. I would love to find videos on how to support my husband and daughter because being NT all of it is so confusing and chaotic to me and I feel like I'm never doing the right thing to help because my husband will even tell me he doesn't even know what he needs from me. 😂 can someone write an instruction manual please

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

Is he on instagram?

Yes he is. dr.sporessss

Wow, I'm 49 and have yet to get a diagnosis, but I relate so much to all of this. I've been researching the past few years, been TRYING to get a diagnosis. This video makes it all make sense now. I'm too "normal" to be ADHD/autistic. But if they could see my brain, live my life.... I too have gone skydiving 😜

❤ I am 62 and undiagnosed. Both of my adult sons (29 and 28) live with me, as does my 4 year old granddaughter. As best as I can see, we are alll autistic, running with high speed processors. I'm also ADHD, my eldest child has super social anxiety issues, my youngest could very well be narcissistic and my granddaughter will certainly get her pilots licence before her mom learns to drive. As you can probably imagine, our < 900 sq ft home is a hot mess physically & emotionally, with a constant power struggle factor. I don't even know who to ask for advice or help. Very often I've disclosed our situation and my life history and folks just don't believe me. I'm exhausted unless I'm running in all directions with my latest grand scheme for how to organize us all.

That could definitely come in handy haha

Mmhmm. It's a flawless system. Apart from the fear and anxiety but y'know, technicalities.

Personally my GAD does a good job of masking my executive dysfunction. Nothing like anxiety to make the brain hyperfocus. Now when I have medication for my anxiety my executive dysfunction is making life…interesting.

This why I wish I were more autistic hahaha because my adhd takes over everything. My executive function is non existent. I wish my autism came strong and said “shut up adhd, we need to finish this now, stop seeking dopamine, let’s do the boring thing because it’s still fun” lol my adhd always wins in this aspect 😢

Also in terrified of having OCD again so I’ve forced myself to not drift into routines because that’s when the anxiety takes over and start feeling the compulsion… so maybe my ocd makes compulsively avoid routines because of fear of ocd, allowing my adhd to thrive 🤔

Wishing you the best on your journey the fact you know about your son's Autism and ADHD should help a lot. Bless

It is unfortunate how many psychologists and even worse psychiatrists have no training or not enough in ASD and ADHD. I recommend going online and finding someone who is a psychologist with preferably a PhD in my opinion and specializes in both ASD and ADHD and getting assessed. You know you can do some online assessments and take them to your psychologist and show them if you are ADHD.

@@RiverWoods111 Which isn't terribly surprising, given that the "higher functioning" forms of autism were effectively kicked off the spectrum because there were too many diagnoses being handed out and there was some inconsistency about who would and wouldn't get diagnosed. It seems to me that a better approach would have been to just education the professionals doing the diagnosing, as many of the folks that were kicked off the spectrum were too high of support needs to adequately participate in the debate about redefining the diagnoses. Then there's the folks at the other end, where the symptoms aren't as readily visible from the outside. When all they were considering were infants and people that didn't have enough ability to participate in the evaluation process, that made some sense, but I don't see any good reason to say that this person organizes physical things so that counts, but this person just likes to take things apart and organizes intellectual things, so not autistic.

@SmallSpoonBrigade If you’re talking about defunct labels, like “Asperger’s” or “PDD-NOS,” good riddance. They were deeply ableist, hierarchical and reductive labels that caused extreme harm. Current ASD diagnostic standards are much more inclusive and don’t portray some Autistics as superior to others. Just who do you think lost their diagnosis or became harder to diagnose because of the switch? If you’re talking about Rett syndrome, who cares that it’s no longer technically considered part of the autistic spectrum?

​@@GhostIntoTheFog: I know the negative connotation around Aspergers' but I feel the Aspie people are my tribe. It was in their video's that I recognised my autistic part. Feeling strongly that my ADHD diagnose didn't cover all the struggles I encountered. I got diagnosed at 44/45 yo and am now 58. My GP didn't think me ADHD, but the psych tests proved him wrong (as I had expected). Until recent years the professionals were of opinion that adhd and asd excluded eachother. When I mentioned my autisticness I was not taken seriously, because Rainman and Big Bang characters. As a female I presented quite differently and the masking, suppressed stimming and well hidden meltdowns and shutdowns did hide a lot to the outside world. But it twisted my gut and mind that although talented and highly intelligent I couldn't excell in life and could/can barely cope with every day life.

Wow. I'm 59. Same exact description. I'm blown away! 😢

As someone who didn't get given a definitive diagnosis (despite ticking EVERY box) thanks to my traumas, anxiety and depression... Wow. Thank you for not making me feel so alone 💗 That see-saw (or USA teeter-totter) between the 2 exactly sums up my whole life too!!

I see my Autistic neurotype like Peridot and my ADHD neurotype like Lapis from Steven Universe.

Excellent. Yes.

YES! That is something I've felt as well, and you describe it perfectly. As a kid, I was very rules-oriented, but I believe my ADHD helped push me just enough to keep from getting "stuck".

Adhd not ache!

Same story here 😅

I also feel like people don’t know what to do with me because all my diagnoses make me so different than someone with just ADHD or just Autism… so I’ve given up on therapy but I desperately need help but not sure who to get it from. And on another note, I was also in the situation where I wasn’t given the autism diagnosis as a kid because the DSM said you can’t have both. So I was just given 5 other diagnoses instead 😂

you said it

@skittymiggy I got an email notification about your comment but for some reason I can't see it here. Idk if you deleted it or if my youtube is having a spiteful day or sth but I'm gonna reply anyway? I totally get your frustration and doubt. What I've learned is that usually people who are fine (as in don't qualify for any of the mentioned diagnoses) don't go "looking for excuses" the way we feel we do. If you feel like there is something consistently "wrong" with you, you're probably right (neurodivergence isn't being wrong or broken yaddayadda but you know what I mean). If you have the resources I think it's well worth looking into autism and maybe switching your therapist if you can. Even if you find out you're not autistic, you might learn something else about yourself that helps you explain your struggles. It took a whole new therapist for me to look into autism - I was in therapy for a totally different reason but at some point she carefully asked me if I'd ever thought about maybe having autism lol. And I was like YES ACTUALLY HOLY SHIT but since no one else had ever seen it in me or mentioned it I kind of never pursued it and thought I was just "looking for something else wrong with me". But again most people aren't really trying to collect diagnoses so why would you or I without reason? (and don't say it's because you're a particularly horrible person or whatever, that's the self-doubt talking and almost certainly not true :P) Wishing you all the best!

This is really interesting, as for me it was the other way around!

I’ve been wondering about this, myself. I seem to be getting more blunt and less people-pleasing at work while I'm feeling the effects of my ADHD meds. I can focus better while on the meds, but still get frantic and overwhelmed sometimes with all the demands and chaos (some internal, some external), but I’m more straight forwardly cranky too, and less happy-presenting. And also desperately seeking order and routine while admin throws another log on the fire. So I think the meds are a win against the AdHD, but the Au side gets very cranky and overloaded and prompts some shutdowns.

helpful feedback, not useless comment 😜

I concur, excellent background. So shiny and pretty ❤😂

@@SammiJN1991 @YoSamdySam I find it very relaxing and it actually helps me focus more on the video 😁 Shiny! Pretty! Sparkly! With mermaid colours 🤩

I've always loved Sam's sparkly backgrounds! 💖💖💖

Magpie probably AuDHD brain definitely finds sparkle sheet is just the right amount of visual stimmy to help my focus on the video

I relate to this really strongly. It would explain why it took so long for me to figure out that I had ADHD, because autistic traits could be “balancing me out,” so to speak. I definitely relate to having opposing needs. I feel like I struggle a lot but it never LOOKS like I’m struggling, because I’ve adapted in so many little ways to compensate.

@@myconfusedmerriment I know exactly what you mean by tiny little adaptations. Make the struggles almost invisible but very much there still.

This is so relatable

You're in good company. My text was so long and so many variants, I dumped it all to a text file, to post as an article somewhere.

​@@user-kb2wo4tx6bwow. You do that too? Cool

Me too. I should write a book. No one wants that in the comments. Was it Mark Twain who said- if I had more time I could have written a shorter answer - ? Ppl would rather read short comments. So I’ll be quiet now.

The only thing keeping me from seeking diagnosis for this thruple is the dramatically low odds that I could have all three... to the point where I'm tentative to seek any kind of diagnosis before doing proper research on these different hybrid conditions. Are you creative?

I'm going on 49, and you are speaking my language!