It sounds to me like the main reasons your life has changed are related to the fact that your life status has changed - career-wise and motherhood-wise. I believe that even if you had stayed in Nigeria, your life would have changed anyway. As a working mother you hardly ever have the time to do the things you used to do before. And also, you are still very young and you can make friends if time permits, but word of advice: do not look for friends among Dutch people. Indeed they are very closed to new people. Look for friends in expat community. These are people like you and will understand you better, plus they are in the same position: struggling to find friends.
Yes good advice. Its not impossible to make Dutch friends as an adult, but you'll find that most Dutch people already have a close social network, and they're much more likely to invest their limited free time in them, rather than trying to meet new people. Other expats are in the same boat as you are, so they're often more open to make new friends. If you do want to make Dutch friends, clubs and activities are the way to go. As a mom you might actually find it easier to meet Dutch people through your son though. Especially once he starts going to school.
Girl I just found your channel and its a immediate subscribe for me! I love the vibes, the strength and vulnerability shown. I'm 30 and been I've been living in NL for the last 12 years, I came from Curacao to study and working now. Also been praying for more friends, if you are open to it Ii would love meet up! xx
Hi Miss Krisz, Thanks so much for your comment. I’m open to meeting too🤗. How do I connect with you more? Are you on Instagram? My handle is @phinfair, if you send me a dm, I’ll respond and we can make plans. Let me know if you prefer a different way to first connect. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I was also born in Curacao...but raised in st.maarten...I'm also thinking of moving to the netherlands...and her videos are helping me with my decision...so far so good 😃
Im half dutch half english, but pretty much a dutchie. So interesting seeing other people describing their life here. Hope you make some lovely friends.
Hi Josphine, I like your channel and also to hear the goods the bad's and the worries of The Netherlands. Its good to hear from other people, from different places of the world, how they look to this country and the people. I want to believe I'm openminded and that I don't make differences to other cultures or background, but I need to admit that its wishful thinking (I would also look to a person in an Africa dress a bit to long). Don't think we are any different than other countries and we all have our plus and minuses. Speaking for myself, I was proud of our history and getting older I realising that in our history, a lot of thinks where not good and where always for the financial benefit (still is). Then again, its always looking back with the knowledge of today and the norms and values of today. We have a lot to learn and I think the current generation is doing a good job in the "we are all equally" kind of thing. Back to your video, what I recognise is the "making friends, real friends" item. I don't think we dutchies are open and that we let people easily "in". Saying this, is of course my personal experience and what I see around me. What helps to get friends is to join a club/association. If your son likes soccer, then you can make him a member and by that you will meet other parents with the same age, or maybe he's more in music ... I believe an active membership of a club really makes it more easy to get to know new people. going on a mission to get a new best friend, don't think that's possible, best friends come on your path and a relation needs to grow. Also, but that's maybe a little controversial, take a dog. personal experience, people with dog's talk to each other like you know the person for already many years :) don't know what it is, but it creates a bond :). Keep up making these nice topics and looking forward to new experiences, now the pandemic regulations are almost gone. Kees.(sorry for the long comment).
Thanks so so much for your comment. I'm so glad you shared your thoughts on your culture. For me, I would compare the Dutch culture to other countries I've been to and experienced. So with open-mindedness, Dutchies are the best I've experienced. Maybe it might not be much greater than what one can find in other cultures, but the little difference can make a huge difference in the life of a foreigner. What got me even more attracted to this country is how at Home I feel. I don't know if it's just me, but I don't have people treating me differently because of I'm a foreigner(my poor Dutch gives me away everytime😆) or because of my skin or even because I'm weird 😆 (picture a foreigner with cameras filming the most random things and smiling). All I'm saying is as a Dutchie, it might be hard to see because it's your culture and you see the loopholes and want to do better. But for Foreigners, that little better you're already doing makes a difference and I'm grateful for that. Of course there is always room for improvement and to do better as a country. Also thanks for your tips on friendship. I agree that friendships are developed from relationships and I'll consider your tips🤗 Sorry for my lengthy response🙈
Yes to 1k!! I truly hope you meet friends soon, your vibe would add the light to any relationship! And If I know God he’ll show you your church fam at the right time! X
Hi, i think you have a great attitude, and very proud of your changes, i could not imagine moving away to another country and starting a new life, but be very proud and keep it up
Dear Josephine, what a breath of fresh air! You are right relocating makes you miss the girl bonds you had abroad. Josephine, i would in a heartbeat say yes to your as a bonus daughter. Am way up near Alkmaar. Lets link up for those days where you want to get away with lil guy and big guy hubby. A christian too of African origin
Dear A J, Thank you so so much for this message. God knows I read it over and over again. This is so so kind of you. Thank you for understanding and for your your offer (which is sooo kind). I am definitely open to link up on days I want to spend time far away from home🤗. How do I contact you? Do you use other social media platforms like Instagram? I can send a dm there. I can also email you but to protect your data, here’s my email dbeautyengineer@gmail.com. Here’s my Instagram account @phinfair or @dbeautyengineer. Thanks so much and I look forward to connecting with you🤗🤗🤗
I just wanted to say that please don't worry when Dutch people seem cold. It's just a weird cultural thing we have.. it's not meant to be distant, it's meant to be respectful. In the end of the day, Dutch people can be very very warm, but they need a little bit of thawing out first :) Also: welcome to Delft! I recommend having drinks at De Koornbeurs, it's one of the oldest buildings of Delft with a cellar from the 17th century (I believe).
I would deffinitely be your friend, too bad it's so far away and I'm like 8 years younger LOL. Goodluck getting yourself some new friends, it can be so difficult :C
Just found your channel. Have been binge watching everything. Such an interesting introspective on Dutch culture. I really hope you find a nice friend circle. I grew up in Middelburg and moved to Belgium. My social circle was huge and I do miss it sometimes. The Dutch from my experience can read a little distant at times. My parents are from North Ireland and the Irish ar very warm people from my experience. I think you just need to be accepted in someone's social bubble and you'll do just fine. Your so positive and upbeat!
Thank you so much for your comment🤗. You seem to also have experienced some diversity yourself. How is your stay in Belgium? Have you been able to find friends and build a community?
I love your very respectful but honest thoughts about life in the Netherlands, I really enjoy your videos. Incidentally, me and my partner are looking to settle down in the Netherlands in a couple of years, so I’m more than happy to make your acquaintance if ever the opportunity came. 😊
There is a saying that goes like this: a church (religious) community is the mortar that holds the bricks together to form a solid wall that can withstand the elements. Otherwise it will only be stack of bricks that can topple at any moment of misfortune. I find this description very fitting.
One of the reasons why making friends in the Netherlands could be a tad difficult sometimes is strangely our ability to speak English.. there is less necessity for foreigners to learn our language, but in a group of dutchies you won't understand the conversation and may feel left out, even though everyone is happy speaking English to you...
@@chia2894 it’s been cool this far, I’m from Johannesburg so getting used to living in a much smaller city and having everything I need in close proximity. Tons of expats here too
I moved to the Netherlands 10 years ago when i was 16. I feel you, its has its pros and cons. I have a 1.5 year old daughter so if you ever in Amsterdam and up for a play date 🙋♀️
First of all, lovey, 30 is young😊 I am 45 and I am still young 😉😉 unfortunately I live all the way in Friesland, so that's kinda far away... But anybody would be lucky to have a friend like you 😊😊💋 I totally get how Dutch life is overwhelming sometimes, especially when you are a working mother, like I always have. But in no time your son will be grown up and you'll find that you have more time to yourself.
Hi, just discovered you recently! Like your vibe. Not sure how old your son is, but when he starts school you will meet other mums. Also international churches are great places to connect with young families.
Thank you so much Sisi s. My son is 16months. So he’s still a few years away from starting proper school. But hopefully when I get a church community, I’ll meet more young families like mine 🤗. Thank you so much for your comment 🤗🥰
I found you today and you are so funny and cheerful. I am Dutch, woman and a bit older than you. Or o lot older in fact 😉🤪. But when I watch you I feel younger again. Just because you are sharing the sparkles of live (although this video is a bit more serious. I first saw the cycle video and the food video. And in fact: I don’t like Dutch food! I don’t know Nigerian food, but I am sure it is better)
Hi Ramon. Thanks for your comment🤗. I’ve thought about parental leave for sure but for no I’m thinking to see how I joggle my life first then decide on next steps🤗
Totally right! Finding your own community here is hard, even for dutchies, when i moved back from West Africa i had a hard time to readjust. Few tips, join a team sports or a vereniging, like an acting group, something you enjoy doing. Second, i heard you mention hillsong, although amazing worship a little superficial for a smart women who does a phd, perhaps try mozaïek (not sure if there is one in delft). But perhaps a religious group that digs a bit deeper. Keep positive, but i think that seems to be your natural talent anyhow. Sending ❤
I see a lot of reactions of people wanting to meet. Wouldn't it be cool to do a meet up with some of your followers, and share some experiences, and create some cool content out of it? I'd love to see that.
You’re doing your PhD in the Netherlands? How was your husband able to get a job? How easy is it to get a job after your PhD in the Netherlands as a Nigerian non-EU national?
I really want to know how her husband was able to join her. Someone told me it won't be possible for a spouse to travel with you when you are going to study, that the spouse have to wait for 5 years to come
How to make friends in Netherlands? The best way is to join a club; it can be anything from sports, painting or whatever. That's how you meet people and make friends with similar minded people.
I'm not close by at all, but I'm shure you will find awesome friends, maybe when your kid goes to school meeting other parents and I know there are different (facebook) groups you can join to just go do an activity (my brother has done it several times), maybe that's a way to meet some more people. Who knows maybe I'll bump into you one day, I'll say hi then :)
You talked about friendship and religion have a look at a church called “! De levende steen” it’s main pastor is a Surinamese man married to a Dutch woman called Edgar Holder. If you Google it you find them. I think you will find your needs there.
Very rich content sis. I kind of connect because I lived in Netherlands some years ago, actually between 2004 to 2007 in Eindhoven. I can never forget Deuth Language ho. Never. I now live in Scotland, can you please tell me the current possibilities of human resource and general managerial jobs in the Netherlands currently. Thanks. Grooties.
I think many people run into that issue with finding new friends after the leave school but the women are just as busy with their work and kids and running around doing the thousands of things that keep the house running in that situation. I'd say find places on Fb to hang out is a good option because that doesn't require people to react right away. Face to face meetings will be hard to arrange. I hope you can find a church you like it may be harder in Delft than in places with a larger immigrant population like Rotterdam or Amsterdam, I'm a catholic and our churches are not exactly community hubs for instance.
Hi Iflie, Thanks so much for sharing this. I’ll sure consider Facebook groups. I really never thought about it but I think it’s a great idea 💡. Regarding church, I’ve already started considering one in Amsterdam. It’s just farther away but may be my best choice. I’m still deciding though🤗
@@josphineogugua If it's a very community orientated church they probably have a FB too and maybe you can meet a few people that way before you even go there, it would be nice to know t least one person there already. Or they might know a closer church you'd like.
In the Netherlands more tax means more benefits, more benefits means beter quality of life and girl you are still a 'jonge blom' (young flower) don't ever think you're getting old. You are not. ;) Making friends is good. Once your child will go to school, it will probably get easier especialy if you be involved with school activities. Or ask at your local consulatiebureau for play/learning activities you can go to with your child and meet some parents like that. In my day there was 'muziek op schoot' or swiming lessons for the very young.
Take in mind that the population in the Netherlands (Holland ) increased from 7 to 17 million people, the country is very small, and totally overcrowded !
when you discart short brakes between words you also remove the dynamics. These little breaks is part of your personality that's how you talk that's who you are! when you take that away you sound like a computer, mechanic, impersonal
Sorry, ik ben een man. Bijna 23 jaar getrouwd. En woon niet echt in de buurt. Maar, je video's zijn echt geweldig! Zoveel energie. Kom eens langs, met de Spakenburgse dagen of Visserijdag de 1e zaterdag van September. Groetjes uit Spakenburg Gerben en Gabriëlle. Visserijdag 2019 / RTV Bunschoten ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ok40dg-YD50.html Visserijdag Spakenburg 2011 / Bunschoter ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-wgt9GOHOv6M.html
Good for you. But i prefer Nigeria. You've just been in the Netherlands for just 3 years. Get back to us when you clock 10 years. Your perspective might be totally different.
Hey! I'd love to take you up on your offer of meeting up😊 I moved from Rotterdam to The Hague last year, and am transitioning into the phase of worklife and making friends in my late 20s. I'd also give the tip to check out the meetup app/website; the social events are starting up again now that Covid is settling down.
I am a single mother of 1 I would really like to come to d Netherlands 🇳🇱 I wanna give my son opportunities I didn’t have do u think I can cope with job and all in d Netherlands
Hi Seliat, Once you have a good paying job, it should be able to have a comfy life here in the Netherlands. You can chevk up online to see what the cost of living for a single person plus a child. I think you'll be fine🤗
Hahah. It’s actually 450 languages. I found out the number has been updated😆. These languages are separate and we don’t understand each other😆. But we all speak English, that’s the official language so that’s how we communicate with each other. We also have what is called Pidgen English or broken English, that’s an English slang language. It’s a mixture of English and some local language. That’s what a lot of us speak to each other informally😆
First to Land here ☺😉 Oh we the enjoyment Gang say it for people at the back 😄 You are so creative girl,I follow you on Instagram More beautiful years in Netherlands to you and your family Can you please recommend cheap and beautiful Camping houses for me and family?
Thanks so much Nora. You are my real babe and we must enjoy ourselves 🤗🤗🤗. I’ll have to do some research and get back to you on this okay… Our small secret, I’ve filmed that video request you had about why I chose the Netherlands over uk 🇬🇧. I’ll have it uploaded at least this month or early next month 🤗🥰🥰🥰🥰
