How not to be a Conductor. 

Our conductor: “what you’re doing is very beautiful, but please stop doing it.” He’s the sweetest man ever☺️

Here’s my conductor: Ok go We play 1 note STOP STOP STOP ITS ALL WRONG

You forgot the elitist, the one who spends 75% of their time on one section/instrument and 25% pretending to work on the rest of the sections/instruments

I like Brett dancing as the "Interpretative dance Conductor" lol

my conductor: conductor: ok go whole band: has rest as first note conductor: THE REST NEEDS MORE FORTE

My conductor has those days when she's like "Let's warm up with this piece." And then we end up playing that song for the entire rehearsal.

*contemplates sending this to orchestra director*....*decides I would like to keep my concertmaster position*

How about the conductor that keeps rehearsing and stopping 0.000003 beats before your entrance??

My conductor is bad at remembering the baton so he sometimes just wave something that vaguely passes as a baton around it’s usually an expo marker or colored pencil but this one time he used a fork

4:20 “imagine Beethoven *heard* this Really? Heard

Ok story time I was in an orchestra with literally the worst conductor ever. He was literally somehow all of these things + just rude and stupid and the entire orchestra hated him. He always talked about how much we’d fall apart without him and it was sooooo annoying. So it’s the night of this big concert and we’re trying to compete with other orchestras and he gets suppperrr pissed about the lighting or something like that and we all just ignore him so he gets even more pissed. So then we’re at like the beginning of our first piece and he just walks off. Like just drops his hands, shakes his head, and just walks off the fucking stage like he owns the place. And the thing is, he expected us to all fall apart without him but we just kept playing like nothing had happened (you should have seen his face). So that’s how we played through all our rep (even Beethoven’s fifth) with only the concert master to que us in. And guess what? We got like second and got to play at some cool venues, and the judges noted how he isn’t invited. Lol that’s my random conductor story thx bye Edit: wow thx for all the likes and comments haha. What a beautiful community these guys have built. Glad y’all enjoyed my little story EDIT: Senpai noticed me!!!!!!!

I hate starting before the orchestra is ready 😂😂😂

That "I cant sing conductor" impersonation with violin is on point 😂👌

3:26 I CHOKED ON MY WATER “The possessed conductor”

What about the conductor that goes off topic and talks half of the rehearsal?! (That’s my orchestra teacher!)

When I am teaching my choir I turn into interpretative dance conductor 😂

*"accidentally" kills concertmaster*

My band director is over dramatic. There was one piece where the cymbals didn’t crash at the right spot, so he just jumped to let them know where they crash.

Brett: starts singing Eddy: Time to put my perfect pitch to good use

My conductor: Forgets the bass section exists. What I Wish I Could Say: Well, conductor, I won’t listen to you because you don’t listen to me.

4:22 : "Imagine Beethoven heard this"... I think you're good buddy.

How about the one that goes 100 times faster than what the piece should be

Storytime (hope ur ready for this) So my school has elementary, middle, and high school all in one. There was this conductor in my old elementary school, and she pretended she knew everything, basically a smart ass. She would always start before the orchestra was ready, and she wouldn't even count the tempo before she began, she just put her hands up and started conducting, and the tempo always changed. She's always complaining how we never start on time, and everyone hated her basically. When I got into high school (yes she was still working there), the conductor was way more professional, and the secondary and primary orchestra joined together for practice. She acted like a smart ass to the high school students, and her habits haven't changed. This is where the karma came in. The principal, who was really into classical music, was watching the rehearsal, and he told the secondary conductor to conduct instead, and even asked "shouldn't you count before you start? It's going to be more effective that way" and needless to say she was embarrased in front of the academy orchestra, the parents who were watching (normally they wouldn't be allowed to), the art department teachers, and an artist in residence. She left the school after that year.

Also my teacher: Teacher: ok, first violins play your part **First violins play part** Teacher: Only first stand firsts play. **first stand plays part** Teacher: Only second stand firsts play. **second stand plays part** Teacher: Only third stand firsts play. **third stand plays part** Teacher: Only fourth stand firsts play. **fourth stand plays part** Teacher: Only if your a guy play. **First violins who are guys play part** Teacher: Only if you're a girl play. **First violins who are girls play part** Teacher: If your name is (**name**) play. **First violin who has that name plays**

How not to a good conductor: Don’t be a tall metal pole in the middle of a thunder storm BOOM

1:13 me during the class end of year party.

You forgot the conductor that makes fun of violas (or even more rare, the one who likes them) 😂

0:35 me when I remember we have three day weekend.

The conductor that can’t sing And the way eddie played It had me dead💀😂

My conductor/violin teacher is the Optimistic one and I felt so bad after our concert [be me in his lesson] Teacher: How did you think the concert went? Me: I feel like we did a good job, but I know I could have done better so I'm disappointed in myself Teacher: No, no, you did a great job! Me: No, I really didn't haha Teacher: No, you were fine! Don't worry about it! Me: *Vietnam Flashbacks to me not playing half the notes in Mendelsohn or Nielson, being seated next to the cellos and behind our one viola, and sharing a stand with my least favorite person in the orchestra, an aggressively helpful chainsmoking old woman who rushes ALL THE TIME* Me: hehe, maybe

Am I the only one who listens to my Italian symphony and feels like Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses

how about the conductor that makes up a metaphor for EVERYTHING

Hahhaha my conductor is always like ; let’s play though the whole thing again bc we still have like two minutes left and then we try to play the whole fifth symphony in 2 mins XD #truestory

Okay but my used to be conductor always kept us after class to finish that ONE measure we had most trouble on, he wasn't mean or anything, HE WOULD JUST KEEP US AND THE YOUNGER STUDENTS WOULD WALK IN LIKE "Oh god. They sound great. This is like the 27th time they stayed after class." And they would casually wait in the sides till we leave, AND WHEN WE DO LEAVE, WE ALL RUSH TO CLASS AND WHEN WE GET TO CLASS, OH BOY,GUESS WHO WRITES US UP FOR LUNCH DETENTION? t e a c h e r. Teacher: "YOU'RE ALWAYS LATE TO MY CLASS-" Me: "You're always yelling at the class- ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY WOULDNT LET US GO-" Teacher:"NO EXCUSES" (Day later) Conductor:"Im gonna let you guys go early since people are getting to class late" And that was the greatest day of our lives

3:00 I love how he perfectly portrayed Brett's out of tune-ness, perfect pitch goals 😂

Brett's dancing gives me life

"Man...I haven't practised for twenty years."

The one conductor, that sprints through new pieces, like he is about to win a race...

My conductor is that one dude that is strict, but a good level of strict. At the same time he's super understanding and really funny, and right before a concert he'll talk to us about why we're here and why we're playing our instruments, and he inspires the whole orchestra to do our very best. Love him a lot! :D

My high school orchestra conductor: huuummmm in minute left.... let’s play through the whole piece Me: *dies*

wait, ur suppose to look at the conductor?

2:02

As someone who's studying to become a conductor... this was really helpful

You forgot the one that almost kills you over every mistake. Like, it's understandable that I was scared of him. But MY DAD was scared of him

I have a few stories. Recently I played with a conductor who could not figure out where the downbeat was. He kept going sideways which was very confusing because I believe we were in a 6 pattern and it's hard enough keeping track of which beat you're on without the conductor confusing you on where the downbeat is. One of the people in the cello section mentioned this very respectfully to him that it would really be helpful if his downbeats were a little more clear. He ripped into that girl like crazy. I was just there kind of helping the orchestral out cuz they can never find enough violins. I decided then and there I was done with that orchestra and I was never coming back. Since I was just volunteering I decided I didn't need to put myself through that much stress and anxiety. One of the people that had asked me to come play told the conductor my feelings and he said he was very sorry and would be better if I came back. I said absolutely not. Here he said he had a conducting master's degree from somewhere. I say boloney. Another story: When I first got into my first Youth Orchestra our conductor was a pretty Savage guy. He would scream at everybody that came in late and make a big deal about it. If you missed your entrance during rehearsal he'd scream at you and make you play it by yourself. if you talked during rehearsal at all he would he would scream at you and kick you out of the orchestra. One time my stand partner was talking to me during rehearsal and I knew better than to look at her and to Respond back so I just looked straight ahead at the conductor. He saw her talking to me and he threw his baton at her. I think it ended up going right between us but at least I saw it coming since I was looking at him. He would make anyone just randomly play the hardest spot in their music in front of everyone else during rehearsal. I remember one time I wasn't coming in at the right spot In a Pizzicato section and he made us do it like 10 times for me and he kept saying every time I was wrong. I am pretty sure by the second time I had it right cuz my eyes were glued to him the entire time but he still made the entire Orchestra do it over and over and over. One time I was late to rehearsal because the bridges were up and I couldn't get to that side of the city. He screamed at me for about 10 minutes in front of the whole Orchestra. I was only 2 minutes late.

My personal favorite: "The Soldier" - Stern face, precice movements and absolute discipline. Ok, except the last one...

Where is the toothpick

My conductor isn’t fake😂if we sound horrible he’ll basically say,”that was so horrible,you guys sound like sh*t”.But he’s pretty cool😂

My orchestra: **In the middle of playing Iditarod by Soon Hee Newbold** My teacher (all of a sudden): *OK! WESTRIDGE OVERTURE! 1! 2! 3! GO!* My orchestra: **panicks because nobody even has the sheet music out**

2:01 omg, Eddy's face 😂😂😂

I hate conductors that finish rehearsals early. If I come to play for an hour, *I want to actually play for an hour.*

All the dislikes are probably from conductors like this. 🤣

Omg all of these are too real😂

Now I've seen a few storytimes in the comments and decided to write about a conducter, that actually exists (not that I call the other stories to be made up). I occasionally play in an orchestra, where from beginner to professional musicians take part. Now the conducter and organizer of this orchestra, buys, arranges and composes pieces for the different instruments (there are recorders, sax, accordions, etc in there), and levels of the musicians! Once in every year, mostly in april or May, we meet for a whole week and work on those pieces and in the end we give two concerts, where in the second one even the childrens from the audience are allowed to take part in. Every year there are 50 participants (it caps there, there is no more space on the stage), in the age from childrens (10 y/o, sometimes younger...) to old persons (80 y/o). Now u can tell we are no professionals, but since we got a few professionals taking part in it regularly, the whole orchestra has improved. Thanks to our conducter's engagement we have at least one week in the year, where we enjoy our time whilst working to one target... Trust me he has way too much patience with us... There are a lot participants who think they don't have to practice and would get everything right... But in the end, the concerts, while not perfect, are still good, and ppl like it. (why do I think of this aMaZiNg right now...)

That's just shade at every bad conductor they've had through the years😂😂

How about the really quiet conductor you can't ever hear because you're a percussionist

2:57 Me if I was a conductor. I CAN’T SING TO SAVE MY LIFE

If you guys would list the pieces you use in your videos in the description, my life would be a lot easier.

4:04 It's interesting seeing their older videos after watching some of their storytime-type videos, because you get to see what kind of experiences their sketch videos were based on

“imagine beethoven heard this!” *_forgets that beethoven lost his hearing.._*

We've watched this video 3 times. 😂so good!

The one where the conductor can't sing had me SQUEALING LIKE A PIG, I was really crying. You guys hit the nail on the head again and again and again. 11/10.

Not an orchestra, but one time my choir got invited to 'help out' in a mater class for conducting. There was this one old lady whose hands kept on trembling the whole time and she complained about us not following her on a song full of syncopation :)

And then there's this one who is always contradictory to himself about what he told earlier...

My conductor once asked the bass clarinet player"were you rushing or were you dragging?" I FREAKED OUT.

Alright story time. i had the best orchestra teacher when i was in 6th grade. So she got pregnant, and didn’t come back for 7th grade. Now we have this tennis player who actually CANT play the violin. (That’s what the majority of my orchestra is) is yelling at us over and over again if ONE person makes a mistake. So i will never forget this one time, he wanted us to tap our feet. Non of us were, so he starts stomping on the ground, yelling, TAP YOU FEET!!!!!!! (Yea he sad “you”) we all just stopped playing and started tapping our feet. He got so pissed off, that he threw MY 600 dollar violin across the room. I got so mad, i ran out of the room, got his violin and threw it. I got suspended, but he also got something. A lawsuit.

I personally love the interpretative dance conductors. They're usually really funny and are a great source of amusement to get me through boring rehearsals.

Conductor: "watch the articulation, you got to breathe" Strings: *breathes through nose Wind: "say sike one more time"

0:31 Daniel Barenboim 0:35 Pieter Jan Leusink 3:23 Leonard Bernstein 3:37 Everyone conducting The Rite of Spring

To be fair, many people would prefer to keep playing that part of Holst's Jupiter.

Running through the piece right before rehearsal time is over - SO RELATABLE!!!!

I had a shitty conductor once. He stank of weed and cigarettes, and since I’m a flute I get up real close so every move he made I’d get a full blast of this stench. He’d barely conduct, maybe get us a bar into it and then he’d usually just leave. One time he was very strict that we’d get a five minute break to stretch our legs, then he absolutely had to be back or we were gonna be kicked out and he came back twenty minutes later and stole a pair of sunglasses from someone’s stand and left for another ten minutes and came back without them. No one really knew what to do so we’d just keep going. One time he didn’t show up after we finished a song so a trumpet took over and he managed to find a baton somewhere and then got so into the conducting he hit the stand with the baton and it flipped out of his hand and was gone for at least five seconds before it landed on my shoulder and left a bruise the size of a tennis ball. He was super apologetic but managed to do about the same thing two minutes later, except this time he did some sort of wizardry and actually caught the baton and kept going before it could hit me again

1:23 that nod

Orchestra: plays to measure 21 before someone messes up. Conductor: ok ok back to measure 9

My dad is a conductor and I showed this to him and he said that he sometimes is the Interpretative dance conductor, because musicians are kinda boring of playing the same piece again and again so to a media for entertaining them, enjoy the music and not get bored he does a little moves with his feets and his back. But always trying not to confuse they with the tempo or something like that

What about the one that kisses up to the prodigy or the directers son/daughter?? THIS HAPPENS CONSTANTLY

I should totally be a conductor

you guys working sooo hard! think I've sneaked your previous video at work couple of hours earlierㅋㅋ you guys currently firing up my classical enthusiasm. started to pick up my cello and got hands on bach thanks!

My conductor started putting clothespins on people's bows like if they used too much. It was funny

3:57 can we just appreciate that perfect cue lol 😂😂😂😂

Have you ever had a conductor who says that the concert was the best performance yet when honestly, it was bad and the rehearsals were better? (I was commenting this in the middle of the video so sorry if it was already shown)

00:30 - 00:45 tbh idk why I thought this was the funniest thing in the world

0:30 Flutes sight reading fast arpeggios.

2:25 "WERE YOU RUSHING OR WERE YOU DRAGGING?!"

Video, "how not to be a conductor." AD SHOWS UP SAYING "how to be a conductor" help-

What about the one that keeps stopping every 2 bars? 😂

I'm actually reviewing for our final exams, but i am here.

me: conductor: yOU'Re DoInG iT WRONg me: i'm not even doing anything-

I have no musical background (or talent) but the pure comedy quality of the "changing the tempo on the day of the concert" bit had me in stitches.

4:23 omg its Jupiter! This is one of my favorite songs I've ever played

The love/hate towards your conductor because of chair auditions

Our conductor always says, “Wow good job guys I am so proud and honored to teach such a talented group of instrument players.” When we play a scale that has like three notes and we are off tempo and off tune

watching in class, not a good idea

I HAVE MASSIVE PARALYZING BACK PAIN TODAY and... *this was so funny, I hurt myself laughing so much* no joke, I'm in legit agony, but I couldn't stop watching this :'D dammit!

Hahaha this is so accurate! Especially the “let’s run it through in five minutes” conductors XD

0:35 That's how Leonard Bernstein conducts

4:24 Ah! One of my favorite pieces! Jupiter!

3:23 - i coudnt stop laughing, the impression was just so well done! :D

Brett could’ve danced to rite of spring

"My spine is broken.." --- 'No excuses!!' XDDDDD