I once dated a girl who always complained that she is dark in complexion and wished she was light like her sister. I really never paid attention to her complains and thought she was being silly. This episod actually opened my eyes and reminded me of her and that she really thought she was less beautiful because of her skin color. To be honest she was beautiful to me and I still find it hard to understand why would she want to change that. I'm starting to think that I'm attracted to dark girls because the one I'm dating now is even more darker, which makes me confused that there are people who associate darkeness with ugliness. I like my girls with melanin 😉.
I don't know if you take requests but might a colourism in men be an episode in the works? I would love to hear South African men speak of their experiences to bring to light a few more nuances of this very broad plight.
I remember in high school a girl said I couldn't take pictures in the shade cos I'm dark... so I need to stand in the sun so that I can appear in the photo. 🤞🤣🤣. I'm laughing now , cos people these days stop me to ask what I use on my face, they say my skin is flipping gorgeous. They say it's a rare kind of dark. Mama says I'm coffee coloured. Coffee with tint of milk. I'm a lowkey fan ya Makgotso. I love her features. Shes so beautiful. Sheila is gorgeous... her voice is amazing.
Being called umnyamana guys😭😭😭😭😭 People made me feel like there's something wrong with my color. But now i understand that people are colonised mentally
From my view, i would say that Hollywood reserves particular types of roles for particular shades. Amongst the young actors in Hollywood, many roles go to lightskin black/biracial women like Zendaya, Yara Shahidi, Storm Reid and Amandla Stenberg. It's even a running meme that when Netflix includes a black girl character, she is usually light in complexion. This is often for roles in romantic movies. Then when the story is about Africa or slavery or our history, they see that as only dark complexions and they don't believe that there actually are/were light in complexion people in Africa. Everything in the media just needs to be shaken up. Shoutout to everyone in this convo playing their part in changing things
Thanks Relebogile , we all guilty of colorism and not even aware of that .we call each other Mnyamane and rooi tamati not knowing the damage we causing . I really love this show because it make us aware of things that we take for granted and joke about daily . Beauty is only skin deep.
Unfortunately this issue of colourism will not go away, it's part of our make up as flawed humans. If it's not skin tone it's looks/body/financial situation etc. Anything that makes you stand out will make you get picked on. Even dark skinned people will still marvel at those shades darker than them. We can train our kids to handle it better though, to be more open-minded and that will go a long way.
I respectfully disagree, that's the lazy response. Colorism is a result of racism which is a result of colonialism. First, we acknowledge the problem then we work towards dismantling it. It's the same how racists will use that excuse to pardon themselves from changing their racist behavior.
@@sinazonoqhamza6281 You sound like you feel strongly about this colourism issue and perhaps you need to pause and re-read my comment to get a better understanding of it. It is a FACT that colourism will always exist amongst flawed humans. That doesn't mean nothing can't be done about the issue but you will never eradicate it. I'm being realistic and you're being idealistic. When you say "we" who are you talking about because you are definitely not speaking on behalf of the entire humanity? Have you done any work in your community on colourism? Do you have instruments to measure its success/impact? Or are you just an overly optimistic commentator?
@@sinazonoqhamza6281 you took the words right out of my mouth, we should not just accept that things will not go away we have to do something about it, even if its just changing only our own mindset.
In the coloured community this is even worse..because we have the coarest hair to the silkiest hair..from the flatest noses to the sharpest...we are treated acc to our features...if Rebogile would make a episode on that..she will descover a lot of pain.
I didn't understand what colorism is about until today. I feel like I lived in a bubble. My sister and I are so different but born of the same parents. I'm dark and she is light and now I truly am appreciating my mom for the confidence she gave the both of us. I've never felt ugly or darker because of my skin tone. I didn't even realise that we were of different shades because we got the same treatment and mom was very protective over us and the spaces we were in. I'm starting to appreciate that now. The first time I realised that we were different was when people wouldn't believe that were siblings because of the difference in color. It still didn't affect us in anyway because of the environment we grew up in with mom. It's powerful to note how influential parents and family set up can be. It can either make or break you.
yep n some people go for just that experience. It's a form of trauma healer. It's almost a shame to go in one way n come out unchanged throughout those years.
As a person who is coloured all I can say is that we have our own internal struggles that we need to deal with first because we discriminate against each other as well
Looking at all three of you I’m chuffed by the fact that I sell black dolls with three different skin tones like you. Personally I have experienced colorism growing up at home. I am close to Relebogile’s skin tone and my whole family is like Makgotso so they used to call me Mantsho. This to me made me feel inferior and not believe I was beautiful. Then at school and now as an adult strangers see me as yellow. 🤷🏽♀️ This came as a gift because I appreciate all skin tones.
My grandmother is coloured descending from a mix of white and black so majority of my mother’s family is light skinned. So I always felt different among them. I grew up and became lighter without any skin lightners. So as a kid I was called Mantsho and in tertiary I was called yellow bone. 🤷🏽♀️
Shielas voice makes you stop and listen. At the same time unpacked just knows the exact topics to devulge into. Thank you keep it coming. Intriguing and so informative. We learning every single minute.
@@rutendosarahgukwa1516 True, what I had in mind is that the interviewer was parading her as if she has the darkest of complexions yet she is not. I've seen beautiful girls with more deeper melanin. May be I failed to articulate the point I wanted to convey.❣️❣️
Sheila's voice and her beauty is out of this world Makgotso is beautiful aswell she has cute lips very these are two beautiful women with different skin tones Colorism is always an issue especially to us black community we discriminate each other . I had a very dark friend in my childhood her mom used to keep her indoors just so she could gain complexion .and she was beautiful .this thing need to stop we should embrace each other Thanks again relebogile for this topic
I survived 3years of middle school +3years of high school being called ugly myamane, mantsho, boys laughing at me at school that they would rather die than dating me..but it's all in the past now 😊
I've got my cousin who bleached his face using Movate & when he stopped using it he became ×5 more darker than he was before. Colourism it's an issue everywhere in the world but I think its more worse if u live in a foreign country where they don't have different skin tone type colour + different hair texture .u just have to love yourself.GOD gave us different colours for a reason. And what's with the world asking if Africa is a jungle & we have wild animals roaming around us all the time. And here in Asia it's worse they believe how they taught from school about Africa .I'm black & proud.
I'm glad that the actress actually pointed out that within the "coloured" community we are not all light skin people, I get so confused when black people say that "coloured" people are people who are light skin. I hope that in future SA will get over this skin color obsession and look beyond skin color.
The only black peoples who would say coloured are all light skin are black Americans , here in SA we know there are light skin , brown and even dark coloured with 4c hair and other features .
Honestly, I think the light skinned girl is more a victim of featurism more than colorism. As a darker skinned person, all I've seen is light skinned girls being prioritized by both black and white people, put in front in pictures, likely to get the job however being darker you need to qualify your presence by having a great personality, intellect etc...maybe that's why anger is directed towards light skinned people
I dont think light skin people can suffer from colourism, they can get bullied for being light skin and even you search the term colourism it's discrimination against dark skin people. Like we have insults against dark skins like mantsho but there aren't for light skin folks. 🤷🏿♀️
Colourism doesn’t only affect darker skinned individuals. Let’s not forget that’s there intersectionality between colourism and featurism and therefore experienced both. Lighter skinned girls back in school were told they not pretty they just light skinned whilst light skinned boys were told they weak and mama’s boy because of they skin tone.
Thank you for this episode to be honest from where I come from (kenya) people are increasingly becoming aware of colorism,Sheila has a nice voice, she has a pretty face too
Psalm 139: 13-14." ...I will praise you because I have been fearfully and wonderfully made." That's what the image in the mirror attests to God. You are the right shade of chocolate whether dark or milk chocolate. Perfect as you are...
I can relate, growing up, I was constantly told that I am not beautiful, just light skinned. People would just say that out of the blue leaving wondering what I did to justify the comment. I really resented my skin tone. I wanted a skin as brown as Brenda Fassie’s.
You know even when you don't relate to certain topics, you get to learn, to reflect, appreciate others differences and be kinder those affected. This show is such an eye opener. Again sisi Lebo and your team enkosi, siyafunda. 🌻
i hope these two ladies became friends after this episode. From what I see, they understand each other so well. They have beautiful souls, apart from their beautiful looks.
Even men when chosing partners, they perpetuate this colorism thing, for instance, statement like 'I like or I don't like dark dindy/yellow bones' ladies, hiding behind that 'I have preference' crap. That's dumb.
Black men have internalized Eurocentric beauty standards & hide behind ' having preferences ' when confronted. Btw I will be starting a YT channel soon that discusses Colourism , texturism, featurism & other issues that affect black women in a SOUTH AFRICAN context ❤️
This kind of show is what we really need. As society we need to learn more about each other but stop being judgemental. We're all made in the image of God but unique in our own way. This is an eye opener to all of us.
Like Sheila said, mindset is everything. As a dark skinned lady, there was a point in my life where I wanted to be validated by others to feel beautiful, to be seen and appreciated. But as I grew older I realised how important it is to truly love yourself and have confidence. Thank you ladies for this conversation🙏❤
I also love how look except my lips they look like makgotso's and at school other children used to pick at me and tell me how ugly I look because of my lips even now sometimes I don't like my lips but I have learned to love myself just the way I am
I like the fact that the new generation of parents affirm their kids, like Sheila says the “your beautiful” sentences we hardly heard from our parents growing up. It’s important to affirm kids from a young age and not treat their features that stand out like a secret.
This Sheila is priceless. I'm here for her intellect and nothing else. It is a pity her mother never affirmed her enough. She is head and shoulders above many of her peers. I'd love to hear her take on many credible topics.
This conversation hits home. My year old daughter has darker skin from her neck downwards and she is lighter on the face. My Mom likes saying how are people going to react when they see her with me (because I'm lighter skinned) and she'd say she hopes that my baby would "outgrow" the darker skin. It annoys me sooo much because I don't see this, I just see my beautiful baby girl who is witty, smart and very inquisitive. Don't get me wrong my Mom is a lovely person it's just the outdated mind set that she grew up with you know...
And Colourism isn't just for the ends of the colour spectrum. There are "medium toned" girls that continue to go through it because society dabbles between loving & mocking dark or light skin but never the in betweens.
My goodness, Sheila's voice! But not just the voice, her overall beauty. Amazing! Beautiful ladies in the studio....all different complexions and just overall amazing people. Complexion is honestly just that, it says nothing about the actual person
I love how the unpacking was based on different perspectives of colourism and not just from the experiences of a dark skin individual. I know this might be overrated but I would love for you to unpack body shaming not just from a fat shaming perspective but skinny shaming perspective as well. Taking into consideration Western and African views on for lack of a better word "appropriate" body type.
Selflove and self appreciation should be the first thing we learn at home, so that as a young person you will able to appreciate our skin and beauty differences. external factors from the street doesn't define who we are . When they continue to label you, continue to love your skin and self more.
And again we can't be in every box or everyone's box, it takes time to create your own box and be comfortable being different. I hope everyone gets to experience that comfort of being yourself without shying away about who you. Live BOLDLY YOU. 🌻
Jo! I have vitiligo, and am pretty much a white skinned mosotho. I'm live in Australia, a majority white country, and I'm even too white for the whites! You can't win!!!
The colourism and hair texture thing in SA is just insane. I have so many stories to tell. I went to predominately white Afrikaans primary and high schools in the Northern Cape. There were only a few coloureds in both schools. The ones with the coarser hair would automatically dislike the ones with more straight/ “boere haare” known as the” basters”. And the assumption was always that the basters thought they were better than the other coloureds (which was often the case). I remember a “baster” girl whose hair was constantly being pulled by other coloured kids with coarser hair. In high school I had a “baster” friend and one with coarser hair. They never ever even bothered getting to know each other.
A great show,and thank you ladies for sharing your experiences. To the guests,you're both beautiful,hands down. Miss Relebogile thanks for asking the right questions with so much sensivity.
The fact the when Sheila said she once tried to BLEACH her skin and Makgotso goes "REALY??!" and the proceeds to giggle shows that you people need to one talk about how colorism DOES NOT affect light skinned women. If it did, ask any light skinned woman if she would want to be darker skinned tomorrow. This conversation is so useless as long as you insist on always allowing light skinned women to go woe is me too whenever the conversation comes up.
I agree that Colourism doesn't affect lightskin women, what they experience is bullying. Darkskin women go through hell. Btw...I am starting a YT channel soon that will discuss these issues and others that affect black women in a SOUTH AFRICAN context ❤️.
I don't know if its the lighting on the set but I don't find Sheila to be really dark. I also can understand that she got most of the comments because South Africans are mostly of lighter shades. Her skin tone wouldn't be of much issue in East Africa. I'm Kenyan.
I'm not a fan of being light-skinned. The teasing is just as bad. Plus being an introverted and shy person, standing out gives me extra anxiety so I barely leave the house.
