How to Accept an Autism Diagnosis 

I had an emotional breakdown tonight before coming across this video. I’m so tired and felt useless to my son for not understanding his needs this evening. He became so upset that he threw everything on the floor including his food and had a long meltdown. My son is nearly 3 years old. He’s nonverbal, only eats nuggets and drinks pediasure and even those things are a struggle. He has ABA and OT and is going to daycare 3 times a week to socialize but I sometimes feel so discouraged and have fears about his future 😢

It took me 3 year, 31kgs and alot of tears to "accept it" .. it's not that I ever rejected it, it was just the fear of the future, his functional capacity and what that might look like 🥺 I'm alot happier now but the worry will never fully go away I don't think

I just want to thank you. I discovered your channel 2/3 years ago at a time when my son was just being diagnosed. Even though I could see the signs and had experience working with children with special needs, it was still a hard pill to swallow. Your channel helped me so much and it has been lovely to see the growth. I’ve come so far and I now embrace my son’s autism and love him for who he is. It has been such a hard journey but I’m so glad I found your channel all those years ago.

Thank you, we just got our Autism diagnosis last week and my little girl turned 4. It’s always hard especially when you have other little ones to worry about but your video gives me hope

Cried through the whole thing, this is exactly how we feel. Perfectly worded. We love your channel, thank you for make me feel less alone. ❤

Hello guys. I was diagnosed Asperger as an adult, and might say that even if any of you guys come to a diagnosis, it does not mean that you cannot or your child cannot succeed. I am 25 yo, living in Brazil. I work as software developer, graduated, currently trying to get my master in physics and am married. I am not saying that everything is possible to anyone: everyone has their own difficulties. However the diagnosis is not a final destination or fate per say. I hope that you guys have a nice journey as I am having even with your own hardships :)

Thank you! I really hate when people invalidate our feelings. We all process things at a different pace! 💞

One important thing to remember, I think, is that our kids are growing up in a very different world to the one we saw. When I was born, in the 70s, an autism diagnosis was a life sentence of being seen as nothing more than a collection of symptoms and deficiencies, reinforcing a conviction that you'll never be "normal". Nowadays...even from the last five years, it's _very_ different and the world is a much more tolerant place. My mother had to teach me how to mask to the point where I passed for NT for 40+ years in order to avoid that sentence (as did her mother before her), but the strain of that began to show more and more and I was diagnosed last year. What I've found since then is...people are actually pretty accepting now, if we can communicate in some way that we're different and they can help by making minor adjustments. Not only that, but they actually seem to feel good about it (I don't fully understand why, but hey...goes with the gig) if we give them a chance to help in a small way. So...try not to worry too much about the future. Yes, his life will probably look quite different to the NT life you've enjoyed, but it won't necessarily be a disaster either, and people generally do want to help even if they've never met him before...that doesn't change as soon as he's not a cute kid any more. The other important part is...there are a _lot_ of us out there, far more than anybody realises. Roughly one in 60-70 people, in fact, and while none of us have exactly his presentation...we all know bits of what his world looks like from the inside. He's got a community, and it's a _really_ supportive one. When it's time, and he finds that community, that'll be a huge step forward for him :)

Once I’ve got in touch with the actual autistic community and was able to see that my son is just like a whole bunch of people out there, and the problem is not him but rather a society that expects humans to be like factory made robots, I not only accepted but fully embraced it. My son doesn’t have a ‘speech delay’, his speech is developing in a different way, it’s called Gestalt language development. My son doesn’t have socialising problems, he gets along perfectly well with other autistic kids. Most of the problems that my son have doesn’t come from his autism but rather from living in a world that wants to force him to fit in, but was born to Stand Out!

3:45 mark. You have me in tears. I feel so alone on this journey. But just hearing you say that you get me makes me feel better. I am grieving. I am angry. I just want to get through this so I can be the strongest me I can be for my daughter. Everyone in our family is in denial. And keep saying “nothing is wrong with her” and it keeps pushing me further and further into the darkness every time I have to justify and explain her actions and the spectrum. It’s so hard. I’m so so so sad. I’m trying to get through this. I feel like I’ve been mourning since we started this whole process. Sometimes it’s hard for me to stop and realize I’m more than just her parent now - I’m her caretaker.

We just got our diagnosis for my daughter tonight. Your words were so comforting😢 Thank you

Thank you Tara!! For giving me the guts to share my story with my 2.5 yr old son. I've gotten a little more comfortable with sharing. So thank you!!!!! However, Today was different especially the fact that it was Easter and I knew that my son had sensory overload and was stimming more than usual this wkd. So we stayed home. So accepting that some days may be harder than others is understandable. Blessings to you and your family

Yes I get it. Working in care myself I saw parents fight a lot. I also found it hard knew my son was autistic when 18 months.i had all of them feelings. I did worry back then but over time I accepted it. People thought well you experience but so different as it your child. He none verbal but we have hope he will speak but most important he communicate in way he want too. He still in nappies and at nearly 7 you have people and kids ask why. I am used to it now but I did get crossed. His sister ask why I said well he not ready she understand he got autism and we have to adjust as family. I so get what you saying. Emotional videos but thank you.

My son was diagnosed with autism when he was 2. Now he is 4 years old but the the fear is still here. Like how my son will going to face this world. You said so much word from your heart. But I feel like the word you said I can't express to other. The felling is same. I can feel it.

I loved your video so much. My son is 3 and his speech therapist thinks he might be autistic so we have an appointment scheduled for him. I am really nervous about the diagnosis and even though my family is really supportive they just don’t get how I feel and your video meant a lot to me it really hit the nail on the head on how I feel.❤

Thank you, I have a 2 year old with speech delay and he sensory seeks all day. No diagnosis yet but it’s clear to me he his so different to a typical child. The progression with your son keeps me very hopeful in this lonely time.

Thank you ❤️ I know you're right, Dylan is going to be ok. You and your family have worked so hard on helping him with becoming independent and finding out who he is. Acceptance took a bit for me and it can still be hard to see him struggle. My son will be 3 next month and I got him diagnosed as soon as I could at 18 months old. He's grown so much and taken off since then🙂 what a journey

Thanks for doing these videos. Do you know that you are actually giving hope to people?!

For all the parents out there please hear me you are soldiers u r worriors ,,, please 🙏🙏🙏🙏 do give your autistic child pets and you will alot of improvement in your kids ,,, the more you keep them close to nature the more they progress like forest walks , going in woods playing in sand swimming etc

Thank you for posting your videos. I’m on the same journey as you with my 13 year old son. He also dislikes his photo taken and prefers to stay in his room. Unfortunately, he hasn’t left the house for 28 months, due to school bullying and assaults from his school peers, as well as being excluded from secondary school because he’s autistic. How do you encourage Dylan to leave the house? (BTW, you’re doing an amazing job ❤)

What's with the jumper? 😮😉 Is there something we don't know?? ❤

I felt the love and sacrifice you show to your son everyday. I hope someday I will get better in time🙏and all the kids with Autism❤

You get me, and I get you 💖💙

hugs I have autism myself sometimes the best thing to remember is this that you are doing your best and you are your child's mom and dad. Also remember this that it is ok to be upset and scared about autism. I was 24 when I got my diagnosis, but I remember as a kid my parents treated me no different than any other kids.

Thank you for sharing! I just realized that my second son has autism and he was just crying and crying at night! He went to bed at 12, and wake-up at 2 am, and then again at 5…..he just wants to go downstairs, he doesn’t want to go to bed…. What did you do with sleeping problems?

My son was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and I am still trying to process it. He is 3 years old and I’m 34 weeks pregnant and trying to help him is a lot of work mentally and physically. Plus I’m scared that the baby is going to have it too 😢 I love your channel ❤ it’s definitely giving all ASD moms hope and guidance. Thank you

1 year and 10 months girl. I've always suspected, now we have a pre diagnosis. She's already going to the therapies. I'm broken, depressed and lonely, the marriage is falling apart, the family is bilingual and probably husband is going away soon. I'm hopeless and if anyone can help me I'd really appreciate it.

As a newly diagnosed adult, my future is still very unclear. Years of losing jobs from burnout hasn't made me very hopeful, all I can think now is self employment. Is this your plan with him too? Just asking because I feel very lost about how I fit into the adult workplace rn. 😅

Thank you so much for sharing🙏🏻 it means a lot for some people including me 😊 Keep up your tips and sharing what’s best, God Bless 💙

We got our son's diagnosis just last week, three days after he was expelled from school for 'bad behaviour'. I'm terrified for his future. I hope one day we get to where you are.

I feel this completely. My son was diagnosed at 17 months and he's two now and he is still non-verbal. I still have so many people saying oh he will be fine. He's fine. Finding this video and seeing someone who understands exactly what I'm going through with my son. 💙

Really needed this today for my nearly 5 year old son. I love you going to go read your book I’d felt so lonely on this journey. Thank you so much ❤ you are an incredible mumma and I totally understand your fierce drive and fears around being his person xx

Thank you for this video. I started following you last year when we started the journey to getting an autisim diagnosis for my now 2 year old son. My son had his offical evalution and diagnosis done 4//25/23 and we just got everything offical in writing sent to us. i've been either overly positive - everything will be fine, he'll be fine, we'll be fine, his sisters will be fine, everythings fine, or slightly numb about it(dragging my feet looking at more of the recommended therapies). After getting the email and it all feeling so so real, this is the first time i've alowed myself to cry about it. So much of what you've said in this video, your fears, hopes, dreams, navigating as a family, it's all things that have been running through my mind and it just felt nice knowing i'm not alone.

May I ask when Dylan started speaking? He is doing so well! And it is so clear that you’re a wonderful mom 😊❤

Can you tell us when he started to talk? My son is 4 it’s hard. I’m a single mom. Can you tell me how things were when he was 4 and how you sealed with it then.

I wish I could meet you! I would sit and talk to you for hours about our boys and the exact same fears I have to you, I cried and laughed with you through this video. 😢😂 I look at you and the way Dylan is and I have hope that one day I can help my son how you have helped Dylan. The thing I struggle with the most is other people's understanding of my sons condition, when I explain to them that Jaiden wont do a certain thing or you cant talk to him or ask him questions because he wont talk back (he is non verbal) the look of confusion then disapproval gets to me the most! And also after my son achieves something for the first time, they say "see he'll be fine" 🙄 grates me everytime! I love your videos and I'm so glad I found you in my dark days (after diagnosis) because it has been you and other autism families on youtube that have helped me so much in accepting my sons diagnosis and to connect with him. Thank you so much ❤

Watching your videos always feels like I’m having a cuppa with a girlfriend and catching up. Thank you for always sharing the struggle. I definitely went through a mourning period. We are 10 months out from our diagnosis and it’s gotten so much better. The way you’ve parented him and given him life experiences to help prepare him for the future has been exemplary and I strive to do the same.

Great post. We also keep pursuing the vitamins angle for our 10 year old son. 1. Spectrum Awakening - Power & Focus - has a lot of pre-cursors for creating brain neurotransmitters. 2. Medical Medium claims the root cause of autism is mercury in the brain which according to science can be gradually removed by only- Chlorella and Cilantro. Our low verbal son has benefitted from both.

Start from what you child feels, NOT performance goals. As counterintuitive as it may seem all the problems come from not knowing how to adapt their environment to their needs, NOT the other way around. I went undiagnosed for 50+ years, just realized my very successful career and rich experiences are all made of my coping mechanisms eg I organized whole companies in what I now see is an autistic friendly space and routine. Starting for an early diagnosis plays to your advantage, because you are certain what you are looking for and why: don't put the burden on your already stressed child, keep a friendly environment for your child. The friendlier the environment the more you’ll see them flourish, like every living being in Nature. Wish you all the best!

Thank you so so much. I just got the diagnosis today and this helps sp much

I started out as an autism parent by finding out several of my kids were autistic. Years later, I learned that I was also autistic.

Wow… thank you. Words can’t express how I feel now, but yes I got you we’re on the same boat. Sending you a big hug.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, it does help knowing that your not alone. My son got diagnosed the end of last year and it’s definitely been a roller coaster of emotions. Would love to be able to fully accept it but know it takes time and to be patient and kind to myself. Your all amazing, thanks again for sharing your family’s journey, you have helped me! 💕😊

At what age you started therapies ? How long did they long ..especially speech therapy

Just general question. My son was diagnosed when he was 2.5 year old and we started special education, speach and OT right away 1 month before he turned 3 years old and now he is 4 years he tried to say words. He has one word that he uses which is "NO", he trying to imitate speech now but also he trying to verbalize inconsistently and am getting frustrated because am not seeing much progress in his speech and his behaviors and i would like to take me out of special education and focus on intensive speech and OT therapy as well ABA. He was diagnosed with a mild to moderate autism but the main issue he had it is his speech and cannot sit still. He will turn 5 years old next year in August am getting frustrated 😢😢😢

Usually it is said late talkers are talented in music or maths or analytic skills or some other talents, is it true ?

Hello I’ve just recently received an autism diagnosis and me and my mum watch your videos! They give me the strength to believe that I’m not messed up.. or silly or stupid I just see things differently! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! ❤ ❤ ❤

i can completely relate to everything you said in this video. thank you for the effort you put into your videos, it does help knowin that we are not alone and that everyone deals with it in their own way

I just came across your channel & i completely relate to everything you said in this video. I am a young mother with a child with autism/sensory issues & I’m still learning to accept it along with trying to get my child diagnosed. My daughter is 3 1/2 y/o & still non verbal I’ve broke down multiple times because of fear thanks so much for the encouragement truly comforting.

I think I will never be able to accept it too 😢

U need to keep posting..i so wait for your videos. They hv been a source of strength in my journey.❤

This was like listening to my own heart. I am so scared about what happens to my son if I weren’t around. What happens when I’m old one day and I die? Thankyou for sharing and not making me feel so alone. Xxo

❤😊

New to your channel. Our 4YO son was diagnosed 4 days ago so this video is where we're at. I'm grateful to hear someone with experience express all of the worries, concerns, fears that we're having right now. Even when we thought this was mostly likely the outcome, it's still very emotional getting an official diagnosis. I don't know what other videos you've made but the thing we are having the hardest time with right now is how to tell others or if we should at all. In our eyes, he's still the same beautiful boy he was 5 days ago and the point of his evaluation was to get access to future resources he needs. As a parent, I don't want people to slap the label on him as a catch all excuse as to why he acts a certain way. And yet, I feel like not sharing it with others has a negative connotation that I'm embarrassed or ashamed or I'm not accepting the diagnosis. Plus I know we'll benefit from the support and others just being more aware. It's just a hard conversation to have without being emotional. Thank you so much for your video! It's exactly what I needed today....

I have autism and am 16 graduating next year and I still can’t accept it . But I think this video really gave me some sense of hope . That it’s okay to be like this and that I’m not weird and I’m not horrible for being different. It’s so hard to think positive and to accept myself. I’m glad you really went into depth on acceptances and how it affected you ❤

Do you feel like your anxiety and the unknown lessoned as Dylan got older? My boy is 7 now and whilst there is massive progress, the worry about future is still there …. I get “everything will be fine” from everyone else too! It’s difficult.

My son is 6 and I’m still grieving. It makes me sad knowing my son will be a man child. He’s speaking kind of, not potty trained due to constant being impacted. I’m trying to stay strong. My daughter who is 8 has autism but is more higher functioning is doing well. But she had severe ODD and trying to get through that for 5 years constantly just mentally drained me. Just burnt out and autism sucks. It’s hard to watch your children struggle constantly.

Calm down, we're not that fragile. We've learned how to navigate this world.

Thank goodness I found your channel. I feel so seen ❤

I know ..i hate Roblox 😂😂😂 I do it for them but increases my ADHD 😂😂😂😂 You guys are doing great and thanks for showing the reality of life.

We just had our nearly 9 year old sons diagnosis. It sucks how much my thoughts flipped and I hate that. Thanks for sharing

Thank you to share your experience, you doing really well. And inspiring us to be a better mums and family, blessings 🙂😘

Thank you so freaking much for this video.

DIOS TE BENDIGA❤😭

Thank you. This is what I’m going through and Im really need this. 😢

We have 2.5 year old son with ASD level 2, it is terrifying me about his future since me and my wife are from different countries living in Australia and he is our only child, when we leave this world he won’t have any family at all, no siblings, no cousins. We can’t have more children and it’s just the three of us in this country

I am wondering whether Dylan would still receive the same diagnosis today (as regards to severity). He’s become so verbal that with self advocacy and self awareness skills he’s acquiring you know he’ll be fine. I watched his 13th birthday video and he truly resembles an Asperger’s child at this point don’t you think?

Hello, nice to see your videos again! Could you please make a video about sensory needs and how to help. Now that my son is 6 I’m noticing more his sensory needs but don’t know how to help him.

Dillon looks like his dad, probably personality more yours

I am also autistic I have high functioning Asperger’s and being forced to be social is the worst.

What age did he start communicating clearly? ❤

That same question that makes me cry whenever I ask myself😢 How will my autistic son live without me?

Hi mam what age your son learn language proper and what help him to learn language plz , my so will be 5 soon he has vocabulary and can tell give me … or I want food or drink , let’s go out few more sentences but I don’t know how I help him to tell me about his feeling or talk proper plz help me 😢

When the boys grow up and you are not around, Luka will treat Dillion the way you treat Luka. That's how it goes.

This has to be the cutest whats in my bag ever. Even better than my favourite one by salma hayek 🤣 i loved it and so useful thank you. Dylan is a star. He has given me hope for my son.

Thank you so so much it's only been a couple weeks and I jumped right on the appointments and referralsand information seeking and have not stopped to breathe or cry. I needed to . ❤

I am 8 years behind. I did not freak out internally at first. I was surprised. As a therapist I always thought I could handle this. Now that he is older sometimes I look at him and I have all of the “what ifs”. It really scares me. Especially since I seem to be the only one he truly trusts.

I have the same woriies about my daughter. She is non-verbal, unindependent, she doesn't eat most of the time and she cries and yell a lot. It is hard 😢 but I feel she loves me and I love her sooo much I hope she will recover soon❤

tell as about autism programs and resources please . am in africa there isn't much place to go for help my niece is non verbal am lost please am lost

I had to laugh when you say autism is new. My son is 35 and yes, every day I learn something new and so does he. It will always be new to us and that's OK.

Diet is very important. No sugar, if he is to have the best possible brain usage

What age your son talk fluently please x

Thank you so much. Bless you and your family for making these videos.

Thank you for saying this 😢

I am so glad i came across your channel today. I really needed this ❤

THANK YOU WE LOVE YOUR FAMILY FROM TEXAS

Incredible mom

Best autism channel and contents I've ever watched...thanks so much for sharing

Hi I have 2 kids with autism and they are so different. They have different sensory issues!!!! They are going to a autism school!!! One of the boys is 6 . And the oldest is 8 . I love them so much!!! I still don’t accept their diagnosis.

Tara ma,shaa Allah you doing good job 👏🏽 very helpful and I need to ask you one question 🙋‍♀️ please guide me if you know about homeopathy medicine I m thinking don’t no what to do did you give any homeopathy medicines to your son please reply x

How did he learn how to use pictures/PECS to communicate? Our son (almost 4) lead us by hand...

Thank you for this

I received my son’s diagnosis and my mother entered final stage kidney failure the same week. I’m losing my mother and devastated and scared for my child.

Yes. It took me a long time to see and now I feel bad because I was getting really frustrated and I could have been preparing before now.. I am struggling now with basics like brushing teeth 😔 any tips would be great.

I get you!..

My boy is almost 4. He is verbal but his speech and social skils are behind his NT peers. He is our only child, we are older parents and I worry every day what will happen when we are gone. I also have MS so my energy levels are low. My family lives abroad and my husband is an only child and doesn't have much contact with his cousins who also live in different cities. It is just 3 of us here in UK. I just pray he will make friends when he is older so they can support him in need.

Can I ask if you have more then one child with autism. Sorry for my question

Thank you

Great videos. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. They help so much! ❤️