1 stop thinking of conversation as an exchange of information. Have fun. Answer questions with a joke. Respond to answers with a joke. 2 push pull. Positive, negative. Compliment, tease. 3 create a non judgemental, comfortable environment
I think there are some great tips in here, but the hardest part for most guys is the approach and giving women a reason to engage. Craig is a famous interviewer that is scheduled to talk to these women and they know it's supposed to be a light and casual conversation. The mood is set before they even sit down which is almost never the case in a public setting.
Great point. I can think of a million ways to do that NOW ….lol. (1) Also, the best way to attract women is with power. You know, just be rich, famous, or the head of a company or organization. Being their boss works too (sadly). One college roommate I had was the most disagreeable and unattractive person in every way possible, but then ran and won the (unpaid) presidency of our housing Co-op. Suddenly his attitude improved and he was drowning in p*ssy. No joke man. He had his first girlfriend who was an attractive Egyptian girl, and I just recently thought to ask him how he even got her. “She worked in the office” was the reply. He was “the boss”. (2) Watch the the Arnold movie “True Lies”. Worth the watch but also note the Skeezeball “detective” character Jamie Lee Curtis hooks up with. It’s a caricature, but He is using the technique of meeting her under a false premise. No one likes being “stalked”, but if, as in Craig Ferguson’s case, you approach them under a different premise then wanting to “date” them (or whatever), more likely to be successful. But let’s be honest, at the end of the day, unless you have one of the power characteristics above, you will end up in relationship with a person who is your same attractiveness and social class (or as a man, below yours more likely). Funny, the thing that is hilarious about women is how they love the fairytale (and that’s all it is) of rich dudes marrying the maid or the like as in the movie “Pretty Woman”. Maybe, if she’s Julia Roberts. The power dynamic for women is their attractiveness of course. Same concept applies. “Like” bonds to “like” (same to same). It’s basic chemistry. What’s the point of all that you say? “Stay in your lane” :)
Definitely harder, but certainly do-able. I've actually done a lot of that naturally, but I suspect it's not something you can just tack onto your existing personality. My view on self-improvement and psychology generally... is that no-one really changes much, but you can make some 'tweaks'. If nothing about you is innately playful, then you ain't gonna turn into Craig Ferguson. But you can possibly keep in mind just a little of his approach.
Craig's secret is he doesn't want anything from his guests except to make it a fun night for everyone. He doesn't want women to find him attractive, he wants everyone to have fun in his company. And I'm sure psychologically it comes from somewhere, who doesn't want to be liked, but I'm not his therapist, and the vibe he gives off is just - having fun in the other person's company and wanting to make it fun for them, too. That's it. No hidden agenda of making himself the most desirable man on TV. Not working up to a hookup with any remotely attractive woman he sees. No expectations, no pressure. He'll meet you where you are, will know when to push playfully and when to back off tactfully. He's a good conversationalist because he builds on what he's given - no answer to his question would be too plain for him to make a start to a great exchange. And that also means he knows and respects boundaries; if you don't want to head to a certain direction, he'll find another, equally fun, without a barest hint of disappointment. He's interested in the other person and not in his own image or goal (or at least he's good at portraying that).
Good insightful comment... the idea of no agenda is key, even though there may be an agenda... maybe it's more about no specific outcome... just fun... that keeps it from being too formulaic and cliché-like. No obvious fallback jokes... overused pickup lines. Real chemistry between two people is something unique and original.
Weirdly enough, I've done exactly what you described andin the process broke every rule in this video and it worked. To be fair, I have interesting interests so my serious answers were inherently interesting, and I'm a sort of puppy dog like personality naturally regardless of attraction to the person, so my example is sort of the exemption that proves the rule
I use to get girls left and right just thinking about Jerry Seinfeld lines and making the subtle face and motion gestures it worked a lot then I got into a long and boring 7 year relationship so I’m getting back into it. You have to play actor and let yourself go, not worry about scoring a goal or getting blocked just keep it rolling and practice makes perfect. I use to obsess over breaking someone’s heart idk why but I’m not like that anymore.
Stop thinking of conversation as an exchange of information is probably the best advice i've heard in my entire life and i am 50. Still doing it wrong but i am working on it. 😉
The moment I went to a date with "I'll just have fun, I will not even try to seduce her" attitude, girls started to hit me like crazy. Complete game changer.
The secret to being successful is to be able to relax. Relaxation is the key, and the people who are the most relaxed are those who have accepted themselves, can laugh at themselves and are able to let go. That self-acceptance allows them to be accepting of other people and because they're not clutching at anything, the person in front of them becomes, in that moment, the most important person in their life. The focus is on the other in a sometimes playful encounter without ever wanting to take from them- just celebrating whatever comes to mind in the moment. Our brains are always more lucid, creative and naturally witty when they're relaxed.
@@GrinderMagee embrace you, there are people out there who appreciate you, even your quirks. It ain't worth going out there to be someone you aren't, be you my friend.
lol craig , both jimmy's and Stephen Colbert are worst of our times. Arsenio Hall and conan worth watching . craig at times comes off to me as a creep . without going their.
Keep! Keep! Keep! Keep! Keep! This style of format. I loved the colored subtitles, it kept me engaged and helped digest the key concepts that were being coveyed. Thank you guys for all of these amazing videos!
My favorite interaction is @4:07. There is something in her eyes that mirrors a curious kind of respect. The essence of "game respecting game". So hard to get that kind of acknowledgement out of a woman, even if you have had a good track record with interactions. Well, it's something I've noticed anyway. No hi-fives or anything, unfortunately
That's what works for him. Cause Craig's working from his "area of comfort" and his own set of personality. Trying to imitate him is kind of weird cause everyone's different. I think the key is to be in comfort with yourself and relaxed but that manifests in different vibes depending on a guy. The goal is not to imitate Craig but to get to such relaxed mindset where he is just being himself
the crowd helps him not seem creepy, when they laugh it lightens the mood and they are also in a safe place and they know that...it would be much different in a bar or on the street!
Yeah and also the women have to play along with every bit to not embarass themselves or him on TV. While I don't doubt his success with women, this is not a normal scenario.
Underrated comment. Craig HAS game, no doubt, but the live setting definitely adds a "safe and playful" aura that you wouldn't necessarily get in a more private setting.
@@Coffeecups135you ever find any other late night hosts getting fawned over by hot celebrities? nobody can beat craigs charisma women just falls under his spell and he has the frame. No other talk show hosts have been able to replicate that
There are also dozens of other talk show hosts who have the exact same setting at their disposal, who do not put on any of the charm that Craig has. Its not just that he has it, hes using it to his advantage
Well the thing about Craig is that he makes even us the viewers obsess over him and not his guests without even trying to. To be honest most people only watch talk shows for the guests. But I'm sure all who watch Craig's show will find him so entertain that they'll even forget who the guests were. If there's any talkshow host that I would watch purely enjoy watching them alone & not their guests, it'll be him!
Track down a couple of clips from the Norman Gunston Show from the 70's, he became a cult figure in Australia for his didn't care who you are approach. His interview with Frank Zappa is a gem, Frank quickly understands his schtick and what he is up to and tags along
You definitely want to keep reevaluating the effectiveness of these tips throughout your conversation with a girl. I personally hate puns, and tip "respond playfully to her answers" rarely goes over well with me as guys tend to overdo it. I would feel like the guy is too focused on getting in a silly joke, rather than listening to what I have to say. My answers seem unimportant to him, except as a launching pad for him to look funny. However, I think if the guy played this 25% of the time as you suggested, I would feel both heard and that he is trying to make me laugh.
The art is doing both or taking what you said and exaggerating it in such a way it shows you were listening actually pretty carefully. Or reverse it and exaggerate it the other way... you get to be contrary while also showing you were paying attention. AND after you do that put the conversation back onto the other person right away so they can continue. Too many people just keep running with the joke and it over rides the other persons conversation instead of injecting something that shows you are interested in listening. Active listening is doing things that encourage a person to keep talking and any humor or joke you make should also put the focus back on the subject or person again.
Why do you think guys should jump through hoops to impress you in conversation? What are YOU doing to be effective for HIM in conversation? Or do you expect to just be entertained by men you view as court jesters who have to work to deserve being in your presence?
@@torachan23 Here is a slap of reality for you: guys are far more likely to approach women and in hugely disproportionate numbers. If a man is approaching a woman, then the onus is on the conversation initiator to keep the interaction going and engaging. Also, if a woman is repeatedly being approached by men who want to engage them in conversation, those men need to find a way to stand out from one another. But i think you know that already and reality pisses you off.
@@TJ-bu9zk no one’s mad even though that’s what you enjoy being a woman, get lost, no one needs your toxic advice from a fake woman on the internet trying to spread their BS
7:03 - 7:06 ... Priceless! Where there is mutual attraction, effective flirting and laughter is foreplay. Even if you never get to the main event, it is (should be) a LOT of fun. To borrow from the sales gurus: ABF ... Always Be Flirting.
True but you would be surprise how witty whatever comes to ur mind first can be. We often filter our thoughts. Try to not filter too much and say it instead (Unless it's potentially offensive). You don't want to scare away the other person.
Yeah, it really doesn't hurt to have some memorized teases, jokes or memorized short stories. So if you run out of things to say you can pull out one of them, it takes less mental effort to say something you already know - so it'll also help you to have more bandwith to think up the next thing ( there is nothing wrong with using the same jokes and stories, all actors, tv personalities, networkers do it)
Being an introvert is like having a hidden world inside your head, but not being able to handle people in the real world. From the cashier who asked you some unexpected question, to the colleagues you see every day... and after all those people, theres 1 person whose presence makes your brain boil, your hands sweat, who makes you feel a surge of happiness. Like you knew this person your whole life, but the "start" has been so far, that you dont remember it and now you have to back to start again.
@@MrHouserobotBeing an introvert has nothing to do with your conversational skills or how good you are at witty banter. It has to do with whether social interactions emotionally energize you (extrovert) or drain you (introvert). I’m more of a natural extrovert and my wife is definitely an introvert. She’d nearly always choose an evening alone with me or just a few friends over attending a big party or event. She’s a great conversationalist though and she can quite funny when she wants to be. But when we’re out in a big social setting she definitely hits a wall eventually where she’s just out of steam and needs a break while as long as I’m not physically tired I can still enjoy staying out with people.
While you should never just outright copy someone a lot of our personality and conversational skills are learned behavior. Babies start modeling at just a few months old. It’s instinctual. Of course you should never try to be just like Craig Ferguson. Very few people could match his humor and wit. The guy makes millions of dollars entertaining people with purely his personality. He’s a literal pro at this. But there are certain things during conversation he does that you could incorporate while still being congruent with your own personality. We can all learn to be more likable and charming while still being staying true to who we are.
I have the other person talk more than me, everyone loves talking about themselves, and they are usually more comfortable. This goes for simple friendship creation as well as flirting.
Don't forget that it is the format of the show. So it doesn't feel weird when you see it happening. But not all women or men are comfortable with these jokes, some are orthodox about it and some simply find it distasteful and I genuinely respect that.
Making 25% of small talk into playful and non-serious answers is a good rule of thumb. I’ve talked to people who make the majority of the conversation into jokes and ironic answers, and it’s annoying as hell. I always feel like I’m not talking to a real person in those instances.
I know, what you mean. Some people always want to be the clown in the circus. Its like to sugarcoating the sugarcake. The secret is to have and show a genuine interest in the person or people and find the right spot to put everyone in an easy laid back mood.
Craig does seem to be a charming guy, but there are some things being forgotten here. I think the majority of these women were asked to go on here by their agents/managers or whoever. They know what kind of show it is and are already expecting to behave a certain way. There is some good advice, but let's not pretend that every one of these women is ready to go home with him.
Literally none of them want that. This video explained all of that. Your comment ends with your own assumption (exaggerated at that) that isn't even remotely true. If you watched the video, you misinterpreted the intention of the video, and the information given in this literal video...
Of course not everyone of these women is ready to go home with Craig. Why would you think that's the case. Nor is Craig ready to go home with most of these women. Craig is happily married in most of these clips, and many of the ladies are too, the whole thing is a public, filmed interaction - noone is actually expecting to get some out of the situation. That's not in the cards and, hear me out, that is also not the point. Flirting is a fun conversation with someone you appreciate as an attractive human being and who reciprocates that impression of you - nothing more, nothing less. If you go into every interaction with a woman with the mindset that maybe this time you'll score, you'll come off as desperate and impersonal. Craig doesn't do that. He doesn't try to catch a woman in showing attraction to him, nor does he mistake it for desire, nor would he mistake that for openness to sleeping together. He doesn't try to get women to go home with him. The conversation being fun is the goal for him, not it leading somewhere. And that's why the women feel comfortable having that type of interaction with him. Whether or not that strategy has resulted in him successfully seducing women in his life is another question entirely.
I did exactly this during my 30 years of adult dating life. Bedded more women than I deserved. But when I found that rare woman at age 49, I was done with the whole bachelor scene. Why? Because she simply made me a better man by being a more genuinely authentic person without a hateful bone in her body. Being in Chicago, that ain't easy! We married 20 months later. No kids between us, but we still LAUGH every day, 14 years later-- my personal promise to a bride who gave me the best gift in life-- her heart.
Craig is not handsome but he's really attractive because of his sense of humor and honesty. And that, paradoxically, makes him handsome. So, if you wanna flirt like that, step 1, be Craig Ferguson lol
Don't copy other people. the only habit you need is to be your GENUINE self. if she/he/whomever, doesn't think you're interesting, simply thank them for their time and walk away to the next person. I promise you the time and mental energy you just saved from trying to impress someone who is probably very shallow is priceless. genuine people enjoy talking to ANYONE as long as they're also genuine. so be kind and be yourself, and if that person doesn't enjoy that, don't ignore that warning sign and leave.
@@Dmoriarty1993 I want and I did it, unfortunately it wasn't as I want but it is because problem inside me. I know I could do better but I am the problem 😞
This is something I’ve always been naturally good at and it really is the most rewarding and valuable social skill you can have. Being funny, playful and easy to talk to is by far the most attractive quality you can have but you do have to be able to back it up with other things like being able to pay her adequate attention and listen intently to her when she’s talking. If you’re nothing but a goof ball who can flirt easily, she’ll get bored relatively quick
Attraction isn’t made it’s natural. If a woman is attracted to you, she will let you know. All you gotta go is accept the invitation. Again chemistry only happens when it’s mutual. A man never needs to chase or seduce a woman. If a woman likes you she will drop strong signs, hints, innuendos and suggestions. If none of these occur then don’t waste your time. One time I was single, lived life and went about my business, focused on self development, then out of nowhere I attracted two hot women at the exact same time. Both women made advances towards me without me having to make an effort. When a woman wants you, she will let you know that’s it. Keep living your life. Have you ever chased a cat before? Maybe right? It’s pointless because they always run away. Notice when you mind your business and one day a cat comes purring towards you, wanting your attention, wanting you to stroke it. Subconsciously the cat knows this man has high value, knows his worth and therefore seeks validation from the man. That’s power.
I was always told that if you can make a woman laugh then you can get her into bed. But in my case, they don't normally laugh till they're in bed with me.
It's pretty easy to be successful with those basic dad jokes when you're a famous talk show host, or in a scene of a movie. You should try to do the same as you tell us in your suggestions in a normal, spontaneous environment like a bar. Most of the times jokes like those end up making people laugh of you, or just being refused unless you're very attractive.
Just “being yourself “ without striving to better your communication skills , confidence , charisma , fitness , literally just upgrading yourself will give you the same negative results .
The key to high charisma is to not be sexually or romantically interested in them while also being the most genuine and understanding friend you can be. Somehow I was able to do this in my early twenties. I was only interested in "more" when it was clear them and I exclusively talked to each other. Having this mindset is not in everyone's alley because it typically goes against our nature as men
1. works, I've been doing that since late highschool and the conversations are hilarious. Not just for landing dates, but making convos fun in general, than you can engage in more serious answers later
Context, context, context. It's TV show. Craig is married with a 1 year old. All of these women know they're safe to banter with no consequences. Craig knows it too. He's not trying to woo these women and has nothing invested because he's married with a 1 year old. They are on a TV show and being paid as guests to be captive in that chair for 15-20 minutes. These women don't have to plan their escape or rehearse a "brush off" for Craig, the way they do with the 98% of guys they meet when their "out." Someone else made the comment that "Craig doesn't want anything from his guests." In the dating world, that's the superhighway to the friendzone. In the dating world, if you ask for nothing, you get nothing. If you're entertaining and pauying for venues and dinners, women are happy to string you a long and make you a "buddy." You can do everything Craig does on his show, but the second you express interest in wanting more, she ghosts you, because now she knows you like her so it's over. On the show, these women have no expectations and neither does Craig. The context of expectation in the dating world, changes everything.
This video made me remember how I flirted with my first gf. I think I did some of the things mentioned in this video without knowing about it. For example I was writing things that had two meanings and could be interpreted sexually and then I jokingly claimed that she was probably thinking dirty.
1:28 I don't know why people don't understand this but, for some people it is difficult to be funny because being funny is not at all a part of their personality. Such as me.
I have been watching this channel for 2 months. It showed me that appearance Don't matter that much. I weight under 120 at 24 and I am not handsome but I finesse myself a hot girlfriend plus 2 girls at my workplace told me that they like me 😁😁😁. This channel made it possible
However useful, you're just comparing to an unfrequent combination: there's public, he is in a place of power, he is the conductor-leader of the situation and the girls may have known how he behaves and agree with that (otherwise wouldn't be there).
I was doing a workflow presentation to a small group of residents; and one of them is a gorgeous woman, and in the process made a joke about their attending's accent and made them all laugh. In my daily work I see them all, and usually make a joke or two in my conversations, and kept everything serious professional. After a couple months, I noticed the gorgeous woman was always flirting, and made it obvious she was attracted to me. I never made a pass never even occurred to me to pick her up, I just kept everything positive and professional, and sometimes that's all it takes.
Hi. Giving you new topics to make videoes on which I think will help everyone : 1. Basic personal qualities required for success. 2. Health 3. How to break Goals into daily tasks. 4. Personal Grooming 5. Personality development 6. Overcoming Crisis 7. SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) 8. Diabetes 9. Developing Resilience 10. Importance of Personal & Social Life
Everyone saying “durrr, just be yourself “ is WRONG. Ok, hear me out. You want to add as many new skills , charisma ,confidence ( these things can all be taught) So , you’re technically “being yourself “ you’re just making “yourself” much better and more well rounded .
I reject this advice because not everyone is funny and charismatic and you can't "teach" these traits, that is, you can fake them but once you get the girl your real self will reveal itself eventually. Just be yourself and don't think about it too hard, life is too short to obsess over chasing women.
Here I will add few lines that women will love. I am Eastern European immigrant to the US, so of course I got an accent. When women ask me where am I from, my answer is from my mom's belly. When they ask me where my accent is from, I answer from my mouth. These lines work 99% of the time.
As a man you really need to be conventionally attractive to attract most women, which means taller than mean-height and classically attractive facial and physique features. If you didn't get those on your genetic dice roll it's a laborious uphill struggle. Most 'confident' men derive their confidence from these attributes, and of course they do.
If you are attractive most women won't look at you or make eye contact with you unless they have to, and if you are "intelligent" or have a technical career women will be intimidated by you. So it's a struggle no matter who you are. What I've learned is acquaintances like you when A) they feel like they are better than you or B) they can use you. If they perceive you're smarter, more attractive, etc. it doesn't matter how nice or humble you are, if you make people feel inferior just by being you, they won't like you. Nobody ever talks about that.
The truth is if you’re not comfortable in doing these things and think all the time “ok I have to do this now, the video said this” it’ll always inevitably fail. People that do these things do them naturally. Just be you.
All of those are already attracted to him, so it will not be that easy. And it is definitely a feat to make a joke during a small talk that will be taken as a joke and not as a pure silliness and stupidity.
