Umm...I don't think the issue is always to go and talk to a person. The issue is what to even say and how to prevent the interaction form being stilted and awkward. Well at least for me...
She mentioned practice, and that’s the key. Yeah you may be awkward in your first interactions but that’s okay. The more you practice the more knowledge you gain on what to do the next time. You can also just do the asking questions method, just ask about them. Ask them questions that involve long answers, no small talk. Small talk is gonna be awkward no matter what. I saw someone say to be sincere and I think that’s great! Tell them what you’re thinking and how you’re not good at this. They might feel the same way!! If they don’t talk to you back or give you the same energy then that’s on them. People can be rude remember, so brush that off and fake it till you make it. Be kind, people like approachable people. (Being nice doesn’t cost a thing)
Well this is a guide for extroverts and people who don’t have any social anxiety in the first place. The issue doesn’t necessarily lie with the approach. The first interactions you have with a stranger are mostly always the same meaning there’s already a level of certainty in your mind that you won’t ‘make it awkward’. But then continuing is harder. I think that’s what most people find hard, or at least continuing the conversation without feeling awkward or making the other person feel awkward
I had horrible social anxiety and I completely relate to this. Working in customer service forced me to get over feelings of dread whenever conversations became awkward. The best advice I can give that helped me to get in the the flow of conversation is asking questions and listening, and just respond by telling your own stories that relate to their answers. It seems obvious but it wasn't obvious to me at first, relying on questions to guide the conversation helps me so much.
@@mattisencox8176 i need help im really worried that i'll say stay dumb throughout my life i can see every one getting commited ,having fun sharing photos on instagram,kissing each other ,having parties in Clubs where as me im still struggling to talk to a single girl face to face,ive done many conversations in chats ,i feel like what will happen if i bore her then she'll left😩
@@zayn4182 Bro... You're too paranoid! I am also paranoid, but I'm not as bad as you. If I were you, I'd just cool down, and prepare first. •Breathe. It's important to breathe to freshen up your brain and allowing you to interact better. •Don't tensely take the comversation. Think of her as your friend, or even your sibling! Compare your talks with your sibling/friends with that person who you want to talk to. If you notice, you're more comfortable with your friends/family, and not with "that" person. •Be comfortable. Comfortableness is Confidence. If you make yourself comfortable with her and the environment (your surroundings), then you'll find it much easier to talk to her, and the conversation will flow like water. •Don't speed things up. You are probably talking fast, in fearing that what you might say will be interrupted or flown away from the conversation. I also have that mentality. Try to stop it. Think what you'll say before you speak, and make sure it's in a slow and steady pace. You could also tone down or tone up your voice depending on your mood. Try it! It works! *I know I'm 4 months late, but yeah, that's what I have to say to you. Nice day :)*
spencer: what’s the worse that could happen my mind: overthinking with millions of possible stuff that could happen (but that you spencer! hopefully i make a few new friends!)
here's another tip i love using: compliment someone everyday, u don't have to know them, but just do it. Itll make them smile, and who knows maybe they were having a bad day and u made them feel 10 times better:)💕 love ur videos spencer
But how do you know if that random person who you say hi to finds you weird and tells everyone that " this one girl is so weird i don't know her but she came to say hi to me" and then you're famous in the whole school that as the weird kid? Because my school seems like a place where this might happen..💀
Wow...this is actually so so helpful. I actually started trying to make friends this year (online) but even putting myself out there on social media was hard. But it was 100% worth it. I met my absolute best friend over social media because we're both awkward introverts. We now tell each other literally everything and she will be my future bridesmaid.
I understand you and I feel like that too. But I think that is more of a self esteem issue. When I talk to someone new, I tell myself, “no matter what happens, I am going to be ok.” Try to give yourself some love first ❤
Ehh, you don't really wanna do that. Friends are usually made by connection felt on both ends, you'll be able to tell if they feel it too just by reading them most of the time. If you want to grow closer to them, you do that by making plans with them, nothing works better for building relationships than having experiences together. By then, you'll both consider yourself friends, without having to ask in the first place.
You become friends with ppl automatically with time....be helpful...be reliable...be available...even after being a good friend to them if they do not want to be friends...their loss
You never had it too begin with,your personality is just normal and full of confidence and I dont believe you ever suffered the same as I have for years.
During summer I saw a girl nearby the riverbank, she was sitting there alone listening to music. We smiled at each other. Not much later I went back to her and asked if she wanted to walk and get to know each other, and she said yes. IT was a really good talk with her
"Go up to a random teenage girl and say 'Hi, oh my gosh you're so beautiful I wanna be friends with you.'" That sounds a little bit sus, not gonna lie.
I’m severely SEVERELY introverted and have two friends. And one is more like an acquaintance. Update: I have one friend now 🤣 The other ones aren’t my friends anymore
@@vincent-ataramaniko how is it wrong? Earth even though it is a planet is just a giant piece of rock witch some water sitting on it just floating in space, but I may be just being stupid cause my brain refuses to work after working an 8 hour long day
@@Lu1380 Floatation is caused by differential in density, which causes higher gravitational affect on more dense objects, and less gravitational affect on less dense objects. When placed in a state of liquid or gas, or in some form being maliable, the less dense items are pushed out further away from the center of gravity. Hence why the composition of earth is a base of rock (composed of various metalic elements), water, and then air. Space consists of very little actual particals, so by definition, the earth is not floating in space, as space is considerably less dense. We are propelling through space, which is motion caused by external or explosive forces acting on an object, like a basketball being thrown or a rocket being launched. The external force acting on the earth is the gravitational force of the sun combined with the momentum of the earth keeping us in an orbit. That's why it's wrong.
Here’s the thing: I don’t know why I have extremely crippling social anxiety. Everyone I know tries to help me, and every time, I literally break down in tears. I’m not emotional, I am definitely not a coward. But I feel like the world is about to collapse in any given social situation. I don’t get a little bit scarred, I get a full on mental breakdown. I love your videos though! I think it all starts with self love and I definitely abhor my self a little less thanks to always seeing your encouragement!
being afraid of approaching strangers is pretty much the same as being afraid of bugs- some of them can't hurt you but they're still scary, just the thought of them touching you is enough to stay away from them. i get scared because i'm afraid they'd be uninterested/make a disgusted/confused face. some of us are scared of rejection or even just awkward situations! trauma can come in many forms. that's why i'm scared of approaching people.
Im very socialy awkward but i have so many friends I said it before to one of my friends that if someone is nice to me They are automatically my friend✨
The problem is if they don't say hi back i will get hurt and it will be the only thing i think abt for the next week and probably never talk to a stranger again
When you have social anxiety because of society and you randomly meet some one who is just as standoffish and skidish like an awkward mountain goat something magical happens
The worst thing that could happen is not that the stranger wouldn’t say hi back it’s that they will say hi back and I have to carry on with the conversation…
For those who struggle with social anxiety, as I have at one time, the best advice I can give is to try to listen to the stranger rather than what is going through your mind. Listening is important, and sometimes by merely listening and making your own connections with what the stranger is saying, or the topic being discussed can put the fears and anxieties away. Deep breaths and reminding yourself that you're doing great are also good techniques to remember when speaking to strangers.
It is not a problem for me to come to people first. I give a pretty good first impresion, too. I just don't know how to make that into a friendship, or to maintain one.
I really hope I can be more like you one day. I’ve let social anxiety and anxiety disorders in general rule my life. I hide from the world bc it feels safe
She's pretty. And there actually is something like pretty privilege. People automatically find someone who's good-looking to be nicer and friendlier than people who are seen as "ugly". When you aren't particular pretty and have a very likeable attitude you're fine as well. However, the first impression is the outer appearance. I find myself ugly. And I'm sure I'm not pretty at all. On top of that, I'm very awkward. I'm always friendly though, but I feel like to me it matters too much what others think of me. Therefore, I'm trying to hard... while being awkward. And for God's sake, almost every person I meet instantly dislikes me. I can't do anything about it and it's exhausting. Conversations are exhausting. Talking to people is out of my comfort zone but I do it to improve. I don't see any positive results though. Why do I challenge myself so much if it doesn't work anyway?
Never works for me. They don't say much and act like I'm crazy for talking to them. So then i start looking at my phone pretending i have something to do while waiting to see if they'll say anything. Nothing so then i walk away
Well, if u randomly just say hi to a stranger, possibility is there u can be stalked later, kidnapped, maybe get harassed, get second hand embarrassment, and most importantly, u might be asked about ur personal details by that person,who might not be safe for you
I wanted to sanitize my hands once so I went to the sanitizer when the teacher left class and the whole class just silently watched me and I was trying my best to hold my laughter cause it was just so funny/embarrassing how everyone was just watching me 🤣 Worth it though I needed sanitizer 🤣
Me: everytime asking a stranger to be friends with and making everyone laugh Also me(when my friends put me on the spot): *awkwardly smiling* I am out of here.
Thank you so much spencer! I was struggling with social situations and now I’m not. You changed everything thank you so much! Keep up the amazing work beautiful❤
When I went to kinder it was my first day and EVERYONE I MEAN EVERYONE was look at me, I was so confused. And the teachers at my school were like "Awe your so cute!!" "I love your eyes" "Your hair is so pretty" and I made 2 friends on my first day (?・・)σ
Thanks Spencer I was not going out with my friends because my BFF had asked more people to join and I was so nervous now I have the courage to go. Thanks🤩🤩!!
I really need this. I have terrible social anxiety so I really don’t ever talk to anyone I don’t know and I was mostly fine that way but I suppose I should learn to be more outgoing.
Here's what I tell myself when I'm scared of being socially awkward, you are a normal person, there are 7 billion people on this big rock, your life doesn't matter, people will forget you someday, the people that remember you being awkward will also die and be forgotten, your little awkward social interaction is just a worth a mere piece of sand compared to what's happening in the world.
