How To Channel Your Road Rage Into Cold, Calculating Road Revenge 

The video ends... What do u mean by transition after he said that?

@@BE_WERM the 'today now' transition

666

I don't really understand.

@FilmThemesAndScenes They don’t have to be a native English speaker, moron

Underrated line.

best out of context things for people to ask why they exist

Advice on how to drive someone insane

😂😂😂😂👌🏼

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 He said tip! 🥵 ok I’m good now

Dennis line for sure

Lol, kind of reminds me of dale from king of the hill

i was thinking mst3k.

"And thus nobody would ever try cut you off in traffic... because of the implication."

I can imagine this being a part of the D.E.N.N.I.S. system, though it's probably a tad too similar to "Neglect emotionally".

1k likes and no reply? What in the world?! Also, yeah. That's an exploitable weakness indeed.

Xin Quiote that’s why there is no replied

sadness potate you never gave a reason

Haha! Typical protagonist movie stuff.

Scott Johnston cause there’s nothing to say it’s funny joke and he is just restating it. the reply is just him resisting the restated it’s dumb

Thank you for your input Daniel

Hi Dani! Is this your real name?

thats a you

Danny is your true name

Ayyy

*flipped*

yes. that is like....hmmm....the joke.... XD

AND he's the one that cut him off first lol....

Damn how did I miss that? Great, thank you 😊

How many did you eat?

Danny is not my true name.

Dddddrrr

How about another joke, Jim?

They're TO DIE FOR

exactly my thoughts. I haven't seen that level of writing or thought put out into a mini sketch like that before. Even the golden days of College Humour were well written ,like the grammar nazi one, but not as tightly and well through perfectly written like this one in my opinion. Absolute gold, and acting for the most part is right on point.

i want to like but you have 666 likes

@@benjaminharder4406 you can like now

@@matthewhamilton2913 thanks

@@benjaminharder4406 like now. Let's get it to 420k

i know where you live, boy. Tuesday, July 11th, 2023. i'll be waiting. P.S. i'm just kidding i don;t actually know where you are man, i'm just doing this cause i think its funny.

lmao

Danny is not his true name.

​@@TheNi- It was not funny.

that wasn't in the movie 😢

I think you're right. The muffins were probably okay. And after 3-4 days of thinking he's about to die "Danny" breaks into his house and poisons all of his food.

the muffins were probably just laced with a slow-acting laxative, and the real trap is in the man’s bathroom

@@Tringledingle yes, you must keep him suffering in fear.

@CuckingFunts . yes dude, you realise everyone here's talking within the context of the joke right?

@CuckingFunts . dude... shut up. And they're not *telling* jokes, they're weaving the narrative of the joke in the video further. It's not meant to be an explicit attempt at humour or anything, just a fun conversation. Are you dense or something to not be able to tell that?

John Wick I was reading the comments as the video played and reached this one just in time for him to say it. I’m not sure what it means. I’ll look out for some baby seats tomorrow

@@noahclark7603 Maybe because his/her baby is more important than his own life?

My mum hates those "baby on board," or worse, "little princess on board," signs. As if you're gonna be like, "well I was just gonna drive recklessly with no care and attention completely without concern for your life, my life or my car, but now I know you have a kid in there I'll drive like a normal human being." And they come off as really smug too. Like, "I have managed to procreate!" as if most other adults haven't also.

The near in blood the nearer bloody you just made me hate baby on board stickers congrats

@@littleboots9800 You just made me hate your mum, congrats.

His names not jim

Swish the characters name is jim

All of this is part of his cold calculating masterplan to make him suffer and live in fear by listing everything he could do to him

Actor? This is real man. Please don't misinform people during such trying times.

‎‎E‎‎‎‎

Unhinged movie that's coming out seems to be similar 😂😂

You may have wanted to include a "spoiler alert" warning before posting that message. Now there's no reason for me to go see the movie :(

Uh...it's fine...I haven't watch the movie either lol, the premise just look similar to the trailer. I'm sure you can still watch it.

@@yenabao yeah I thought of that movie too and all I've seen is the trailer so it should be alright ahaha

Duel

danielul05 not great writing in your comment

Ben Ciccarelli your reply could be better

All their videos are fucking fantastic.

Wait, they aren't real? Like, real news?

@@legendarytat8278 No, they’re real.

Chisma

Damn didn’t even notice all those details! Good eye

Chekhov's gun in action.

Thanks for this summary, I didn't even realise this after watching

@@SabreVDM Chekhov's muffin

lololol

@Sir Reginald the third what what uh, most people know it’s fake when they click on a video published by the onion

@Sir Reginald the third what what Did you bite the onion?

@Sllort L

@Sllort you are cringe

I'm not sure it really requires acting skills to emulate a news anchors persona

I know the man was a real anchor is real life.

Porkchop Sandwiches are we no true Scotsmanning acting, now? If it’s good it’s good

danny too

Watch porkin usa

It sounds so demonic, like he's gone completely insane and imagines he's the embodiment of some kind of supernatural force of evil

Very Dennis Reynolds sounding.

What the heck is a gumbeau(x)?

@@NoriMori1992 It's a cajun dish, usually cooked in a big pot and served with cheap beer

@@darthmonk4237 Thanks! As far as I can tell that's usually spelled "gumbo" (in fact I can't find reference to it being spelled any other way), and even if it were spelled "gumbeau" it wouldn't have an "x" (which indicates plural), so I was very confused for multiple reasons 😆

Yes.

You haven't seen enough

One of the best singles. BUT "Porkin' Across America" as a series? GOAT.

You gotta go watch "Kill all the Grabblers"

@@DarrenSemotiuk Add Sex House to that. Porkin is my favourite, but Sex House is just as great.

Deadly anger

take away the _D_ and you've got nothing

Anger leads to hate, hate... to suffering.

@@Fenrize you're the type who throw gasoline to put out a fire aren't you?

@@chottabeamm Some people just want to watch the world burn ;)

Clifford Banes also needs In the Know revitalized.

It would be a be politically correct shitstorm nowadays.

Yes !

AntiC Hound No it wouldn’t... the onion has never shied away from satire

Yeah but what of the muffins

AND the police will start suspecting said victim.

I've said it before most people have depression, lure them in a bath, put gloves on, plug in a toaster, yeet the toaster, boom it's a suicide This is a joke I feel the need to say this so people don't think me cruel and insensitive

@@peanutrecord6989 i think you need help lmao weirdass joke

@@rewrittenbytes1616 Shut up, you're watching an onion video.

@@nooneofrelevance.1310 and that matters because?

djtrixen one of THE greatest punchlines delivered !! ever...in the history of ..ever!!

ˢᵖᵃʳᵉ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᶦᶫᵈʳᵉᶰ, ʲᵘˢᵗ ʰᶦᵈᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒᵈᶦᵉˢ

Oh man, this just made me cry with laughter, fucking genius

the video cut off at the exact right time lmao

😂

Hmmmm...interesting idea

There's a movie, I think it's from the mid-late 90s, called Dirty Work about a guy who starts a revenge-for-hire business. It doesn't get as dark as this video does though 😆

I'd be careful about starting a business that could cut into Danny's. Very careful.

Sorry for the long delay in responding to all of your thoughtful comments, we landed a consulting job with an aerospace company that has taken all our time.

@@Kyle-sr6jmyou’re a brilliant opportunist. Space X is lucky you agreed to their terms.

No because that's not how danny works

@@Tringledingle danny is not his true name.

Don't worry, Jim meets his end in Porkin' Across America.

He just wanted to let him know he's out there

Would have been a good retirement skit

well it helps that the writing is so good

my guess is that lower budget sketches like this and studio c rely on good acting not expensive special effects like in marvel and DC. Not that i have anything against those movies i freaking love marvel movies.

damn i really wish this were real

@Johnny Dong nah, pretty sure they're meant to be popcorn movies. Entertaining, but without much depth.

@@GrubQueenMarisa They still have depth if you really look for them, like Civil War

love your videos

road revenge is a good mechanic isnt it

It's like they always say, Good game design is killing the road rage persons' neighbours!

Are you still doing it..?

It was YOU?!

was looking for this

Ya just gotta add the d

Rebeth. ia sex from anger equals danger

But pronounce it the way you pronounce anger, just put a D at the beginning of it.

and danger is one letter away from donger!!!

People don't think it's real. People are just playing along.

What do you mean??

@Roland Too hard of a concept to comprehend.

I had to RU-vid the whole video to make sure because a 20 second Insta reel made it seem like it was real lol. But now I know 😂😂

Onions just quality satire

Simo are u Finnish?

@@dierobyn5717 Of course he was, you can tell by the full stop at the end. (I love that joke, it was sweeede).

@Human Resources - Relax, dude. I think you need to keep your anger in czech.

Oman, this conversation got heated

Chase Lanier Then I hope you never lay down on your horn behind me.

You really shouldn't plot and drive at the same time. Have a passenger tell them that you'll stalk them next time you're availible

@@lordofthecats6397 lol

Soflooooo

I won't lie. This is definitely me when i'm driving

LoneStarGamer Anger danger Dan-danger

"Danny" is trying to say Jim swore at him on the road in 1996 and so he got on his show and swapped muffins and give himself a fake name

Geo 999 i think the video explained that clearly

@@naruii5160 duh but the op didnt get it. That's why he explained lol give him a break

@@Holistic-Hallucinations Nope

*brake*

@@zapkvr A Man Said Break Light 😂🤣

Danny is not his true name

S laughter

And danger is one letter away from DangerX!

Anger with a D is danger

You see you did it wrong you need to use explosives

At least you tried. That’s all that matters in God’s eyes.

Ah! Sounds like you let the situation get the best of you! But don't be discouraged. Next time just _relax_ ! ...And ask yourself, "...what kind of news story would he have to see to slip into an irreparable, existential depression?" ...So then you can _focus_ and work your way backwards from messing with his Internet connection every morning for 3.5 years so he finally resumes delivery of the newspaper, where he'll eventually find the headline and photo about the tragic loss of all those children from next door because he insisted on leaving for the business trip one day early, and now he'll always have that image of of the kids and grandma piled up at the side door of _his_ empty house crying for help, where no one was home to call life-saving care for them. As his sense of personal worth slowly disintegrates over the next few decades, you can all-but-guarantee his unraveling intellect will become infected with the repeat question, "should I have been more consistent using my turn signal?"

I think this was pre-pork. He may have survived the muffin poisoning via an accidental mixup at the blood bank and got pig as an eerie foreshadowing of his dark future

Darren Semotiuk no, I don’t think so. Jim’s having a second shot at (human) life, don’t spoil the mood for him!

That plate of revenge would definitely be cold by then

@@spiritualbeetle3904 well why would you give them a warm meal?

When your on the run never run ... walk

Thanks 1:35 is the most creepy "taking their life" as stealing their identity 100%

Careful, he's a hero

Driver’s neighbor*

*Hahaa, Calm, collected, cool, I love it!!*

*host realizes he knows who killed his last 3 neighbors*

He didnt do anything to those muffins just like those cryptic numbers that didnt mean anything. He just made him feel like he did something

Obsession it's called obsession

Your pfp scares me

Lol death follows him everywhere

Maybe he is not trying to snuff him and just planting a seed of doubt. explosm.net/comics/3207/ or maybe not, and this is just the beginning of a slow agonizing journey to a fate worse than death.

The Metaporkasis or Die Ferkelandlung

Claudia Solomon yeah, kinda. As opposed to "Die Verwandlung", the metamorphosis' original German title. I would've gone for "die Verferkelung" though

@@Leo1239150 I'm so lost here, can someone explain what you're all talking about?

..apart from the host prematurely turning to look at the muffins. Otherwise, pure gold.

* trails off * "What? I don't..., I don't know." *looks at the half-eaten muffins with a worried look *

uncle bad touch the best muffins

Yeah this is a very credible news source

Darren Ngo It is

neither do the Producers, neither do the viewers. nobody cares what is on these types of shows. UNLESS there are puppies

It's called satire. Some thing americans struggle with. To most of them, there is either truth or lies and nothing in between

​@@zapkvr He knows what satire is

> 5 years down the road One car trip lasted 5 YEARS?

By then it’s justified to retaliate

Sounds like different definitions of petty, lol

"Our fleeting encounter happened years ago, yet I wanted to take time from my busy day to let you know you still matter to me."

Which is a great show.

which is angel in french

wwwpwndcom lol u mean cross ange??

Hi Ppl Yeah

The word "rage" can be spelled from "anger".

Only if he loves them back.

How many of those did you *eat*

So is Jim

They kinda have now though :(

@@OryAlle F

Proud Canadian We want more videos not articles though

This was before “the boys”….

he even kinda looks like him too 😂

Woody Allen..

That's from "The Onion", or? edit: Oh yeah, just switched to the RU-vid Channel :)