How to Communicate Assertively 4 Tips

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Here are 4 Tips for How to Communicate Assertively. We'll compare and contrast assertive communication with some other types of communication, we'll give examples, and tips so you can be at your best. Free Download pdf Essential Communication Skills for Professionals: www.alexanderlyon.com/
free-resources
Find Alex on Linkedin: / alexlyoncommunicationc...
The video look as the following:
- Passive communication
- Aggressive communication
- Assertive communication
- Passive-aggressive communication
And, it gives four key tips to communicate more assertively.
See Alex's New Book on Amazon (affiliate): amzn.to/3XEmOaY
Visit the Communication Coach Academy: www.alexanderlyon.com/cca
ALEX’S CLASSES AT SKILLSHARE (Affiliate):
How to Have a Conversation with Anyone: skl.sh/2PVYDkl
Effective Listening Skills for Leaders: skl.sh/2GnIRMR
Public Speaking: How to Open and Close Like a Boss: skl.sh/2ykPJX3
Public Speaking: Confident Delivery Skills: skl.sh/38usFFe
Become More Clear, Concise, & Confident: skl.sh/36m6dxO
The Art of Persuasive Communication for Beginners: skl.sh/2RNY4wt
Courageous Communication Strategies for Leaders: skl.sh/3di1vEX
For Creators. I use TubeBuddy as my go-to tool for researching topics and many other channel tasks (affiliate): www.tubebuddy.com/alexlyon
Communication Coach, this channel, helps rising leaders like you increase your impact and lead your teams with more excellence. The channel focuses on communication skills for leaders, presentation skills, group and team skills, and conversation skills. If you're looking for self-paced communication skills training, this is the channel for you.
00:00 Introduction
00:25 Assertive Comm vs Others Types
04:06 Assertive Comm Tips

Опубликовано:

10 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 367

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

Free Download pdf Essential Communication Skills for Professionals: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

@jamesamara9393 Год назад

I need the file please

@andreaslandgren1681 Год назад

Good advice. Thank you.

@stephaniepiazzese2602 7 месяцев назад

I searched out videos out of sheer desperation tonight. Yours is the best I’ve heard so I subscribed. All my life, I’ve been quiet,, partly out of lack of speaking skills , partly ( and mostly) out of fear of others reactions. My Dad was explosive , and we were scared to death of his outburst. My beautiful Mom, was submissive and frightened. I’m now JUST LIKE MY Mom. I’m 71, and finding life harder than ever, and ppl run all over me. Nothing I say or do is respected or “ heard”. So I’m approaching this prayerfully but determined to change. It’s so overwhelming now it’s affecting my health.

@alexanderlyon 7 месяцев назад

I'm glad you found the channel. Thank you for sharing.

@errorera Месяц назад

Today, I employed assertive communication because it was the deadline, yet the individual seemed overwhelmed. I attempted to communicate without singling anyone out, but this occurred before I watched a particular video. It's worth noting that without consciously employing communication skills and simply expressing myself candidly, I managed to capture their attention within 30 seconds. This illustrates why the commander need not worry about the tone of communication, from start to finish

@Th3BigBoy 2 года назад

I recognize that sometimes I try to speak through others. I'm going to really try to defeat that instinct and attempt to focus more on being assertive, no matter how painful it is.

@sambhajipatil281 7 месяцев назад

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@privateaccount262 Год назад

Here’s my conundrum. While I have gotten a lot better at arguing, in the past it has been SO easy to shut me down if I tried to assert anything. I’ve noticed people throughout my life who didn’t have any trouble with asserting their needs are good communicators. They also seem to be able to come up with things that would never cross my mind no matter how hard I thought about something. You get beat down all your life or are at a loss for words when it’s most needed just makes it hard to be assertive.

@susanmeadors2733 7 месяцев назад

I recently realized I am passive/aggressive with people who are very emotionally reactive. I grew up in a emotionally volatile home….so I tend to avoid conflict with those types of people. That phrase will help me. Thank you!!

@lenaely6146 Год назад

I'm a naturally assertive communicator 👍 These tips are my natural style and I agree: It's best to listen patiently, be direct without being aggressive and communicate your interests.

@Nali_fang 10 месяцев назад

Wow

@davidr4523 Год назад

Good video. I would add the following critical points. 1. Try to agree and find some common ground with your opponent. If you disagree with everything said others will hate you. 2. Debate the points and rather than destroy the credibility of your opponent. The only exception is if someone claims to be an expert witness. 3. Try to smile and be pleasant. Have strong data to support your points. 4. Get small admissions from your opponent to lead them to a point when they can no longer refute your point. Like a chess master, think of your points many moves out. 5. If not supportive to your position, rather than directly answering your opponents questions instead make statements to weaken your opponents claims or strengthen yours.

@alphamegaradio 2 года назад

Alex, this is GOLD. Thank you. The bit about "patiently listening" hit home with me. While I do try to wait and let others finish before I speak again, that urge to "jump in and react" is very real, especially in times of conflict or heated debate. I would rate myself as Assertive, but in the past, I would've definitely communicated in a passive-aggressive way, as I used to struggle with putting my true thoughts and feelings into words that had sticking power. God Bless, brother!

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

Thanks for sharing, brother. God bless you too!

@alphamegaradio 2 года назад

@@alexanderlyon I'd love to collab with you on this topic, if you're interested. My thoughts are bringing in things like: mental filters, cognitive bias, experienced-based and environment-based learned behaviors, and the perceptive of self vs. other people - into the mix. I realize that your niche is geared toward communication and leadership coaching. And communication is a primary means that people use to evaluate what type of person they "think" they're dealing with, while also letting it help determine how they'll interact, etc. Perception. Interpretation. While mine is Christian counseling and teaching, I see a lot of overlap where we could combine our niches into broader applications. 🙂

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

Interesting topics. I'll have to give that some thought.

@devonseamoor Год назад

@@alphamegaradio If it's welcome, on RU-vid, there's a 3-part conversation between Jiddu Krishnamurti, David Bohm, Rupert Sheldrake, and a therapist whose name I forgot. The video title is "The nature of the mind" and it delves deep into how we think, and what we think. How we tell ourselves what reality is about and how we communicate our views.

@alphamegaradio Год назад

@@devonseamoor I will check that out, Devon. Thanks for the recommendation. Have a blessed day!

@nareshgoty3665 Год назад

It’s a eye opener for me. Thanks for clearly eliciting most overlooked mistakes we make (I make 😊) when having conversations at work or in personal life.

@joanward2061 Год назад

Thank you Alex, I am a mix of passive and assertive. Passive to avoid conflict but when I am passionate and knowledgeable about something I become more assertive. Thanks for the tips. I will definitely use them.

@mernafam353 6 месяцев назад

good point i feel the same sometimes it depend on how much we care about what we do or talk about makes us more involved and not being avoidant

@ibreview4236 4 месяца назад

how do we be more assertive when we don't care as much or know as much about a topic?@@mernafam353

@genuineprincessllc5932 Год назад

Thank you for all this great information on Communication Skills. It’s so very helpful and and am going to start implementing these tools within all of my relationships. You’re a great role model, Alex. Many thanks again for your excellent content.

@falishatucker3486 Год назад

It took until this year that I had to learn how communicate better and set my boundaries. I am passive aggressive and Impulsive at times which I release that it destroys a lot of my relationship and how to communicate with others. So at this age I’m practicing in on how to learn on becoming a better communicating and better person. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thank you for sharing, Falisha.

@manikunde2332 Год назад

It took untill this year I have learn communicated better

@malovina 10 месяцев назад

Same with me :((

@falishatucker3486 10 месяцев назад

@@manikunde2332 Seems little a demonic response.

@richardbicycle5262 Год назад

This was was more helpful than I expected, especially your point about giving someone "two jobs" by using an unhelpful style. I noticed I used to be very passive aggressive, but in the last few years my confidence shot up and it's like I overshot the mark into more aggressive (at least initially if emotions are higher). It seemed positive and not aggressive mostly because I had been so used to the other extreme. Good points here, thanks!

@brightpage1020 Год назад

Love your point about good listening and the connection between aggressive communication and control.

@jamesalderton1502 Год назад

Alex, thank you, this is excellent instruction. You were clear and concise, and gave some excellent pointers and examples.

@Savitta 8 месяцев назад

This is incredibly helpful and to the point! Much appreciated

@CambridgeEnglishMadeEasy Месяц назад

I am a Muslim and while I was watching the video, I realized how beautifully Islam teaches and encourages us to talk assertively. I also realized that I am an assertive speaker by nature :) Your representation was very helpful and clear. I hope to learn much more. Thanks for your hard work!

@ladawnervin3917 2 года назад

Thank you this was excellent information for personal and professional development. I am a passive aggressive communicator and this will definitely help me work on improving my communication skills

@karenli33 2 года назад

Thank you for these great tips. I learned a lot.

@jasminecontreras7341 Год назад

This is so insightful. Thanks for sharing Alex! Gonna keep these tips in mind to be an even more assertive communicator 🤓

@kenetinuade9657 2 года назад

I recognize now that I've been doing quite a bit of passive-aggressive communication! But those tips on assertive communication are waow! I'll have to listen several times more and practice consistently to replace the old. Many thanks Alex and kudos for a really great video!

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

Hi, Kene. I'm glad the tips are helpful. It takes practice but I'm sure you'll improve if you commit.

@carlacorrales3065 Год назад

I enjoy reading others comments, thats exactly how i feel.

@anthonyrossmaund3161 2 года назад

Great show today, thank you! I've learned a lot here and made some improvements in my speaking. I have had many problems being essertive and it used to get me in trouble because by the time I got to being essertive I'd be upset and would start to be overwhelmed and say things that didn't make me look very good. I'm working on this all the time and am making improvements.

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

Always great to hear from you, Anthony. Thanks for reposting your comment here so others can see it.

@devonseamoor Год назад

@Anthony Maund. I truly mean no offense, but I had to laugh about your excellent, very clear, and sort of "cartoonish" description of how communication flows, or not, in your experiences, and that becoming assertive took you a while so that when you were ready to speak your mind, while upset, overwhelm took over. Our sense of identity with freedom in tow is closely connected to the throat. Words are like boomerangs, it's only when I speak my words that I can hear myself tell the truth or try to cover it up, beating around the bush. I've attended communication training in sync with the use of one's intuitive abilities, and physical awareness. The freezing that occurs during a conversation is often how we hold on to "shutting down" a form of dis-empowerment, as I see it Although it may happen in an unconscious way, in the space where fear is present and attempts to suppress it. Expressed by stuckness in the throat. Once I offer myself the right to speak up, without the programming others have left, or still imprint in me, those which I allow to affect me, by being empathic, but too open, or co-dependent, I don't have to fall off my standpoint, pun intended. I hope I'm right, that you've figured out how you brought it on yourself, by the manner in which you shared your comment, with precise detail in what you experienced. That's great. I hope you feel confident more, also due to this helpful video of Alex Lyon. I'm inspired too, learning from Alex's manner of observations.

@anthonyrossmaund3161 Год назад

@@devonseamoor thank you! I am working on it and am thankful for your feedback!

@sayusayme7729 Год назад

Me too, ad an INFJ and adhd I’m always restructuring how I communicate as it’s absolutely been a life struggle. Thank you. Finding balance, some people just tune out. 🦉

@piotrang8634 Год назад

Just brilliant. So clear and concise. Thanks a lot for this short lecture.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Glad it was helpful. Thanks for your positive feedback.

@jackieyousefi300 2 года назад

I'm definitely an assertive communicator! It works for me, always.

@Bluesnakes333 Год назад

Thank you for this. 🙏 I am passive. I would explode with anger and resentment often. I knew I had a communication issue to work on. That really hit home.

@shafiqulaml3113 2 года назад

Dear Sir, Excellent.

@user-he5bd5gh2m 28 дней назад

this is so on point and helpful. also very relatable.

@amoc1618 8 месяцев назад

I used to be passive aggressive communicator without awareness, I intended to avoid and minimise the conflicts. However as I learned from this lesson, if one doesn't let their expression out in an assertive way, the true feeling underneath the behaviour will hardly be seen. I also learned the importance of using "I" language which needs not only lots of self-awareness but practice! Thanks for this precious lesson, it surely helps out people who want to have a communication skill, the most importantly, with the clear and geniune conversation, it helps the world become a more peaceful world.

@srinivas_xt 2 года назад

Really amazing video, thank you so much 😇☺️👍

@ssom84 Год назад

Thank you so much for this lesson ! I've been searching for assertive communication lessons for myself and this is the best advice ever!! I want to move away from being a Passive-agressive communicator to Assertive communicator !!!

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Glad it was helpful, Somi.

@carmenargueta3917 Год назад

Wow just watching this video and love it!! Passive 😌

@EllenSmyth Год назад

Wow, under this definition, I fear I may fall into the passive-aggressive category far more often than I'd like. I definitely want to become more of the assertive communicator when it comes to difficult situations, and I'm hopeful I'm moving in that direction. I love what you said about control. A friend of mine whose marriage is struggling said that we shouldn't go into marriage expecting the other to change, to which I wholeheartedly agreed, but then he said that we cannot really change ourselves. I eventually stopped him and clarified that I disagreed on that point because I am the only person I can change, and I can definitely change myself.

@petesaria-hf1xh Год назад

There’s a great little book on Amazon entitled, “Hoots and Grunts” that addresses common everyday communication flubs that we make that can push others away from us.

@darlafitzpatrick8770 Год назад

Such great points. I went into a recent work conversation expecting to get emotional because I'm very conflict-avoidant, and in previous jobs I had encountered superiors who didn't want to hear what I had to say, after which I got choked up. I think that feeling of being dismissed and powerless led to those stereotypically "female" emotions (ugh) coming out, which always felt like self-sabotage in these kinds of conversations. But, in my recent situation I shared my concerns in writing beforehand, using "I" language and being as respectful and understanding of the background situation as I could (thanks to years of prior communications and conflict-resolution training). My manager read my concerns and immediately set up a meeting to discuss in person. This is where I expected the tears to come pouring out involuntarily as they had in the past, but -- No! It went very well. They said I had made some very good points and they wanted me to be satisfied with my role because of the value I bring to the organization, and they laid out some steps to resolve the underlying situation. No tears, only smiles and candid discussion. Having a good manager / good listener on the other side seems to be as important as the way you frame your concerns.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thank you for sharing, Darla. I'm glad it ended up being a positive experience.

@ngqp 2 года назад

Thank you for the video. None of this matters when you are dealing with people who have variations of narcissism. It seems in my experience this is a good start for holding your ground but in most scenarios I find to not engage is the best solution.

@rickipacaci1338 Год назад

Excellent tips. Thank you🙏🏻

@throughjoshuaseyes4453 Год назад

Passive aggresive. I always admire people who can pause and think before stating their opinions without being too controlling or pushy

@NguyenBinh-jt6cr 2 года назад

Very useful. Thanks Alex

@subhodhambali 2 года назад

Thank you, Alex. It's such great content. Kind regards, Subhodh

@BulldozerBilly 3 часа назад

Very good advice, thank you.

@earlechisolm-el4394 Год назад

Great video. Thank you for these tips!

@gigisolegigi7891 2 года назад

Top class Alex. Any speech is an easy way to learn Tks alex

@madanarathimadangopal5890 Год назад

I think I m quite assertive but I sometimes have been told I am emotional or frustrated.. something for me to work on ..love the insightful video

@briansim1648 Год назад

Informative and digestible.

@princesslacson6291 Год назад

This is an eye opening for me. Learned a lot how people communicate & why it doesn't work. It all make sense now. It's funny how I thought people would understand me without saying what I truly mean. Lol. Thank you for this valuable information.

@jayo5678 11 месяцев назад

Passive aggressive is often times the way I speak. Thank you for helping me recognize that.

@aliyahcreations4575 6 месяцев назад

I'm here because I woke regretting not speaking up for myself, over and over...

@ehsankiani542 5 месяцев назад

I really enjoyed such concisely assembly cheers🎉

@dmoss50 Год назад

Alex I want to thank you for the videos. I have used some of them for my students. I am a Communication professor like yourself. I appreciate all the hard work that you put into these. I am currently working on a persuasion OER book as well as designing an interpersonal and persuasion course for fall. I also want to mention that I am originally from Buffalo. Anyway keep up the good work.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Hi, David. Great to meet you. Always nice to meet a fellow professor.

@michele3631 2 года назад

I notice that at times I use submissive and passive aggressive communication. I'm trying to practice assertive communication by being less impulsive and more refined with my expressions. Your videos are helping me learn. You model clear, concise and confident communication in how you present this information. Thank you

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

Thanks for sharing, Michele.

@joodjood2138 11 месяцев назад

Great video thanks for your tips !

@masterphotog4131 Год назад

WOW! What an amazing video tutorial, keep up the good work!

@Mentorship4A 2 года назад

Brilliant stuff!

@mlmk62 7 месяцев назад

I'm passive or passive agressive,but I was lucky to watch this video tonight.I also need to improve my listening. Thank you for those tips.

@hlpang1075 2 года назад

Thank you, very helpful

@asdfzxcv1010 10 месяцев назад

If I'm leaving without appreciating this content then I have not changed. Thank you for this video n positive change started within me.

@abhaagarwal3108 Год назад

Thank you Alex 🙏

@debbiesianturi2505 9 месяцев назад

Well, thank you, Alex. After I watch your video, I hope I can do assertive Communicators. Your explanatory is very clear and make sense also easy to apply.

@DrManar-mx1bw Год назад

I discovered my self to be a passive aggressive from your video. Thanks for the great approach.

@vaidascivilis4156 2 года назад

Great topic, thanks, very informative and useful.

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

Glad it was helpful, vaidas.

@ruhullahisahadam729 Год назад

Thanks a bunch.

@kadiprincess9975 Год назад

Thank you!

@jh5174 Год назад

Helpful, thank you...

@DtheFab Год назад

Love your content!

@cherylwade6617 Год назад

Awesome - thank you!!

@gayedbotros8358 Год назад

This is very supportive tips... Thanks

@cynthiakk5966 Год назад

Thank you very much and really appreciate this super useful video. I am passive communicator especially some of my workmate use very aggressive communication way to communicate. Assertive way is most hard to master it. The root is good self esteem for us to speak out confidently.

@hugopatlan8630 7 месяцев назад

Thank you, sir .

@pinkkkblossom6592 11 месяцев назад

I will change my communication . Thank you so much for the video .

@EmyEleni 2 года назад

Please never stop making videos! All great tips

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

More to come, Emylou. Thanks for your encouragement.

@matthewnorris203 2 года назад

Love it. Keep it coming. And actually, more on this topic or this being brought into situational things would be very helpful. Thanks!

@hash510 10 дней назад

ok, it's good to have this scientifically identified groups of communicators. Two , three or more. I was taught the one simple thing - you should say what you think and always think honestly about others. One important point here - sometimes it's not so easy live following this rule...

@ZebralterMedical Год назад

Excellent talking points.

@sajit216 Год назад

I will be falling into the passive aggresive category. I have a long way to go before becoming a good assertive communicator. This video will definitely help me in that path.

@marthiepeden5551 Год назад

Thank you😃🙋🏼‍♀️

@ASortedCollection Год назад

Thank you for this!

@Mushroom321- Год назад

GREAT VISUAL, WORDS.. !!

@johncarlos7810 2 года назад

The best of the best!

@noushadcheerangan5911 2 года назад

Thanks…good tips😍

@rhettpeter83 Год назад

Brilliantly explained and articulated thank you

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Glad it was helpful, Rhett.

@lovinourfiveboys3952 2 года назад

Eek. I can see myself in all 3 of the more negative ways of communicating. I found this series while trying to help my oldest son learn how to be a better communicator but in reality, I also need alot of work in both how i communicate and listening skills too; both of which I’ve always considered myself good at but now am realizing i have alot to work on too. Thanks so much for these videos!!

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

I give you credit for wanting to work on yourself. That's the key step.

@abdulhafizbozdag2988 9 месяцев назад

Thank you sir

@conniegreco8409 2 года назад

Thank you so much 😊

@dr.maazasif5424 11 месяцев назад

Tis a great teaching video. Thanks alot.❤

@alexanderlyon 11 месяцев назад

Glad you liked it!

@cindyalovett710 8 месяцев назад

Definitely Passive-Agressive!!!

@conniegreco8409 Год назад

Thank you so much ❤️

@Naturebeautyandcalmness-eq8zg Год назад

Mine is the assertive one, thanks for this informative video!

@mohammedrashid2906 7 месяцев назад

Thank you

@magicalmindtransformation3474 Год назад

Thank you for this video!! I've been both passive/aggressive, passive, and assertive... It seems the situation - and who is the other person does make a difference. I have always feared conflict.. and the aggressor - being singled out and made a fool of. I've learned alot of confidence in the past few years. But I do find some of my old habits show up now and then.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thank you for sharing!

@bambangpurnama 2 года назад

Thank's a lot Sir! I learned a lot from this video.

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

Glad it was helpful, Kang.

@tumusiimeezra26 9 месяцев назад

I really need to learn the I language. Thanks for the insightful package

@stringpriest Год назад

I stumbled on this channel and I’m glad I did. You just gained a subscriber.

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Welcome aboard!

@paigerideout6996 2 года назад

Great lesson. I think I am on the passive side. Will work on this!

@alexanderlyon 2 года назад

You got this!

@mtvne Год назад

Alex seems such a beautiful man we need people like him as presidents and prime ministers we might have a better world than we do today. Thanks for the content 👏

@alexanderlyon Год назад

Thank you! I wouldn't want those jobs but I appreciate your vote of confidence.

@toodadtoquit 11 месяцев назад

This is an excellent video, very informative with great tips, thank you! - Yoel

@KingLeonidas_300 Год назад

This is good stuff that everyone should know

@lpulotu Год назад

Going to be making use of these communication tips

@ductt2025 Месяц назад

i passive communicator but i need to learn more assertive communicator in the future. thank you so much

@amnabentwhabyoussif6847 2 года назад

You are amazing coach Alex lyon, Thank you 🌷your vedios have been of a great help to me, I am mimi, 19 years old, working on my soft skills preparing for job opportunities and interviews, I did not completed college yet but decided to go out to the job market and see how it's dynamic works, any advice would you like to give me that would help! I will be thankful if you do