How to Deal with Friends and Family When Living Chronically Ill (even when they don't understand) 

I am going thru same 💔.... 🌹🙏✨

I think people will always find convenient reasons for your health issue. I'm in my 40's and I still hear it all. People think everything is in your head. They think I struggle with weight because I'm not eating enough. They think they have all the answers

Yes I sometimes feel you can’t say anything to people older than you because they’ll respond with “wait till you get old!”

But once you are "old enough", you still get grumped at and treated like crap because now, it's because you're old, deal with it, everyone goes through it, etc., etc.

@@Tambryl Yikes - any excuse to belittle someone else’s pain.

​@missequestrian3448 which is awful when coming from friend/family, but coming from Drs, it's maddening !

I hear you😑.... 🌹🙏✨

I totally understand that.. I used to spend so much time validating things I said, it was amazing. Whether it was doctors, coworkers, friends, etc. I no longer do that, but I've hardened up with everyone

It's unbelievable dealing with such disability and family etc acting like you should keep being your old self... 🌹🙏✨

I am so sorry that you are in this position. May the peace of God be with you.

Been in a similar position but luckily was not bedbound and was handed a chance to get away so I could begin to heal. Every time they screamed at me to force me to promise something I couldn't physically do, I had a setback afterwards from the stress, so I was going downhill fast. If I'd lied to appease them and wasn't able to follow through, it would only have enraged them more. It is truly a tough situation to be in and so many people are blind to the fact it's happening out there all the time - people like us become invisible. Since there are two people in any relationship, it is not always entirely the sick person's fault - precisely because others have free will and we can't control them. When someone is incapacitated due to illness, there is a clear power imbalance - they can leave you, but you can't leave them. We can't blame victims for their abusers. There are people like me who, after gaining their freedom, do want to support and help others. In the Medical Medium community, GoFundMes are common to help chronically ill people who are working with the protocols and are in dire situations such as yours, and there are several charitable organisations with the same aim. They pay towards food, supplements, vital kitchen equipment and living expenses (eg. rent). They cannot rescue everybody yet, but they are growing. Maybe this can give you some hope that things are changing. 5 years ago I had no idea online communities could support people in that way.

So glad my channel has been helpful. Wishing you the best!

100% agree. Parents SHOULD take care of their children. It's unfortunate that we live in a world where that doesn't always happen. I wish I could control things like this and that no one was abused or neglected, (this is coming from someone who was abused, abandoned and neglected as a child) Unfortunately I can't control anyone but myself.

@@Aimee_Esther we can’t control others but we can still hold them accountable. Life is a two way street. We can keep our side clean but if others don’t there are consequences for that. Sometimes the consequences are legal other times people need to cut off contact to protect ourselves from people who are abusive. We don’t need to tolerate people treating us less than because of an illness out of our control. I won’t let people belittle me anymore. Being made to think I was just crazy or overdramatic when I was sick and needed help. Never again

@@suzq2744 YES! You are writing this as if you are trying to disagree with me but we are totally in agreement here 😂. This is exactly the point I was making. Others make choices and then we control what we do about it that is best for ourselves. Instead of trying to force people to be different than they are, or force them to feel and think like we do. Instead we share our opinions but let them make choices (whether we like them or not) then we can make choices for ourselves that are best for us after that. Maybe that's leaving the relationships. Maybe that's calling the cops. Maybe that's being kind to them but not opening up to them anymore. Maybe it's setting boundaries. It's different in different situations. But the truth is we can't control others. People will do it wrong (a lot). So instead of trying to control other people's thoughts and feelings, let's take the power back and control our own thoughts and feelings instead. Let's stop trying to force people to have our brains. (Hint: it never works 😅) I'm wondering if you didn't watch the full video? I'm all for healthy disagreements. (Aka letting others have their own thoughts and feelings, not forcing them to believe mine 😉) but I think in this case we are in agreement.

@@Aimee_Esther again I’m not trying to control anyone. Stop trying to twist my words🙄🙄🙄

I don’t think she’s trying to shift responsibility and there’s limitation to every mindset! For example I have to be careful with self responsibility because I’ll spiral into it. But what she’s saying is a mental separation, not taking responsibility off those who harm people. Also I have to agree I watched my sister be blamed and not believed and in pain growing up. It hurts me a lot now but she seems to have moved through that well (though still with health issues). I also don’t want to bring it up or tell her I’m sorry for how she was treated in case she doesn’t totally remember or something 🤷‍♀️

Yeah this video is seriously messed up, telling you to blame yourself for other people's bad behavior toward you when you're sick. I was broken up with because I'm sick and I guess according to her that was my fault.

You got that right...they will drain you if you let them. It's either I spend time validating my issues with them, or just shut them out. At this point I shut them out, and if they complain about their health, I ignore them

@jessicaras4540 When I think about faith, I think about I can take God at His word on anything as stated in the Bible. He doesn't say when or how but the promises are sure. The faith chapter in Hebrews 11 is a good chapter to study pertaining to faith and I have for years found strength in Psalms in times when I needed my spirit lifted. But what God does ask of us on our part is to strive to keep the law of love or the golden rule which is to love God with our whole being and love our neighbor as our self. I believe in treating others as I want to be treated but also in choosing company such as David did in the situation with Jonathan & Saul or Christ in relation to His relationship with John and the Seduces or Pharisees. I believe in choosing company, not being taken advantage of by others, not hating them but at most hating the sin because I have work to do in my own life. I figure with 24 hours in the day there are people I want to spend time with and ways I want to grow as a person. But also, on the flip side there are weaknesses or shortcomings I want to overcome with God's help and people I want to avoid because they don't have my best interests at heart, they may change or may not. When comes to people I just want to care about them but spend time with the Jonathan or John type and avoid the other types with limited contact. I figure it's a wise thing to do.

i honestly don’t think a doctor will help me other than giving me the peace of mind that i’m not crazy! i have started to find things that help me (diet, socks, salt, water, laying down…) but i feel crazy sometimes! especially when friends say “well have you had an official diagnosis?”

I just saw my primary care doctor, he's an internist

If you know a way to control other people, please tell me how!

@@Aimee_Esther I never said control other people. I said we need to hold people accountable. Big difference👍

Holding others accountable for abuse is not the same as controlling their reaction to one‘s illness. You seem to be on an entirely different track.