This is probably the second video that I watched of Kim Eng and I seem to get everything she has to say in a very big way. I see a counselor, psychotherapist, psychic, and a good friend in the way she answers questions. What a gift to see right through a person’s heart and offer advice. Bless you Kim.👼
I feel like I've evolved past the need for a romantic partner. I left the dating world two years ago and haven't felt the need to return to it, or even just meet someone organically. This messes with people's heads so I don't mention it anymore... people often feel threatened by someone who is alone, yet content and fully complete. I love being alone. I don't know why, but I love it. 💗
I was the same for about four years and now would like to meet someone, Marsha Alison. It wasn't like what the speaker her references, I really didn't want a partner, so if one had emerged, I would have sent him away. I once annoyed the husbands at a dinner party when I spoke about how much I loved being alone. They couldn't believe I was happy. I don't know why people don't get that this is possible and can be perfect. I am still satisfied but would enjoy having a companion.
Omg I am going through this right now. I assumed that after a year of designated "alone" time (which came after 2 years of simply recovering from a traumatic breakup), I would feel a natural motivation to return to dating, but I don't think that's going to happen... much to what will be my mother's chagrin lol
Omandita4, dating seems like a chore because the odds are against anyone being "the one." I believe that these things can and sometimes do happen organically if we are expecting them or not. I am hoping.
The only person who can make you happy is YOU. It is very dangerous to rely on others for validation as if they change or leave you it will be very difficult to cope. Whether in a relationship or not, learn to know and love yourself. Teach your children this 💕
I love how honest Kim is about needing space in a relationship. Love relationships have been so overly romantized to the point where it seems to be symbiotic. This is to my mind why so many ppl nowwdays have committment issues....becaus they think they have to erase themselves. The best relationship is where everyone gets the space they nees without having to feel bad about it.
Loneliness is not that you’re yearning for someone outside of yourself; it’s because you are yearning for YOUR SELF. Now, don’t read this sentence and then think about it; instead let it enter within your heart and blossom.
Personally I don’t lecture for others.... if someone tells their feeling about I like to listen and comfort them ....if the one in pain is me I like to listen to her and remember
This is such great advice. If only people got this the divorce rate would drop as people wouldn’t choose a partner from loneliness but from a safe happy place. Interdependent relationships are the healthiest. Not co-dependant. We come into this world alone and leave alone so be happy alone. Make that connection with your inner being and the rest falls into place 😊
Lisa Marie i got divorced when I was 27 and I pretty much have been single since then. I turned 40 four days ago, and I don’t have family of my own. I used to wonder why I’m in this situation and was blaming myself for not being able and also ashamed for not having a partner. But at the same time I’ve known that I won’t have that until I’m in peace with myself and find happiness within me. I’ve been desperately seeking for years, and have been wondering in darkness for a long time with no answers. But since half year ago, things has been revealed to me and i i know where to seek and I know the tools. I think that when I am in peace with myself and become the one I’m meant to be, the right person will show up. Somehow God will introduce that person to me. But most important I’ll be happy and have a meaningful life even without a partner.
I dropped the need to be with a woman a year and a half ago. Next month I celebrate my 1 year anniversary with the woman of my dreams. In my experience what she described is 100% true
Thank you Kim. Also for the honesty in not putting yourself and Eckhart on a "spiritual pedastal" This shows true wisdom. You aren't ignoring our human nature whilst pointing to the Divine within us that reveals itself more and more when we acknowledge and accept ourself. We know our deeper self is beyond thought and belief. You have helped me today and many people not just women. It made me cry as I felt your love and empathy. I love Eckhart and now I see why he loves you. Blessings to you both and to everyone on here who at times feels frustrated by their seeking to understand who they truly are at the deepest level because the mind or belief gets confused for who we are. It's OK to be human but be the Presence we are in our human ups and downs. Ups and downs are essential to experiencing in this world. There's no day recognized without night. 💗
We are conditioned to think we need someone, its just a state of thinking but you need to find that out for yourself. No one can give us what we need to give ourselves❤🙏
Kim has a kind of bluntness that Exkhart doesn't, that really complements his teaching. I like to listen to one, then the other, like a constrast bath kind of thing haha. Sometimes she will say something blunt that irritates me slightly, and then I know right there she struck a hidden little thought I didn't notice I had. Thank you Kim
Since I was a child I needed my space, me-time, most of my life people judged me for not being "normal". Thank you for clarifying. I can't see myself living with a man in the traditional ways society taught us to be "normal". I feel empowered to stay true to my needs, connection with source, my ultimate love partner. Thanks🙏
Loneliness is a frequency and just like every other frequency that you put out to the world you get back to you. So until you become aware of that feeling you will be stuck admitting that frequency to the world. if you become aware of this feeling of loneliness you can then move on to accepting this feeling. A powerful thing to do is to just lay down and feel the emotion fully no matter how much it sucks don't run, don't wish it was different, don't ask why this is happening to you. See it for what it is and shine the light of your presence on the situation. Once you reach that stage your frequency that you admit will be of higher vibration and then you will attract people and circumstances that match that vibration. Once you find the love within yourself it can shine through into the world and match with someone else's. Edit: thanks for the responses! I have more stuff that will help on my channel check it out♥️
Sumbee Thank you for your comment.☺I never saw it that way. And I really learned something from what you wrote. So ya.... thank you and much appreciation.🖒🌻🌻🌻
@@ianaustin5541 oh wow, I was not expecting that! I'm glad to help. I explain Eckhart's wisdom on my channel in a way that is different and perhaps helpful to my viewers. Take a look! -Sumbee
I wonder: when you truly find love within yourself, does this mean there is no desire anymore to connect with other people? Friendships or relationships
This talk is great. Questioning the taboo of loneliness is really important. However, Kim misses an important point about partnering. They enable creativity and service. It isnt just inner work. Relationships can become too internally focused. There is an outer life aspect as well. The soul of the world. People need a worldly connection as well.
This. Yes, and we are human, and therefore social by nature. Yes, loneliness is a state of mind, but when you're alone and you don't want to be it manifests as a real physical manifestation that can loop itself into a deep depression if you're not careful.
Black Bird Hollow - "Loneliness is a state of mind." -- Correct... But just because it's a state of mind doesn't mean it's illegitimate -- it's perfectly natural and a sign of a deficiency. It would be comparable to say: "Fill your stomach from within. Quit looking to food to sustain you. Hunger is a state of the body." ... Correct... It's natural, that's why we need to eat.
Can we please stop looking at Kim as a „substitute teacher“? She is her own entity, she brings her own flavor into the mix. She isn’t here to replace or rival with Eckhart. See it as peppermint and chamomile tea. Both help your tummy, but their taste is entirely different. No need to compare.
Way to work on your judgement, Mister! You see a video and project your opinion onto people you don´t know, "waste" your time on a comment about something you don´t like instead of clicking onto THE OTHER THOUSANDS of Eckhart videos available. She is on the thumbnail! It´s not like you we´re lured into believing it should have been him...
Frank Houttave Oh, well yeah :) But when I meet that crazy person haha I won’t want to be legally married to them because I don’t believe that the church or state really ought to be involved in romantic relationships. A ceremony/celebration of our love would be beautiful though 💜
I feel this woman has a human need. Like I am hungry, I need food. Sometimes spirituality will help feeling connected...we live in society that creates a sense of separateness. I think Kim means well, but she over explains a very simple concept.
kim missed the boat with this answer. the correct answer is using acceptance to enter the now. thank you very much anyway was the lady's answer. she did not get an answer from Kim.
As long as you believe in the illusion of separation there will be loneliness. Loneliness can happen in relationships too, especially when you're married for many years. You are the universe as Deepak Chopra says. When you realize this you will never be lonely. Give to get. Be friendly and helpful and you will attract people naturally. We are one. Helping others means helping yourself. Do not focus on your needs too much. Also loneliness is a so called first world problem. When you struggle with feeding a family of 12 you won't have it.
@@peggyharris3815 Yeah, that's just for starters. Ideally you just give. After awakening you realize that you and the others are not separate so that what you give them you give yourself. Until then it's a bit like barter.
Thank you so much for sharing these videos. I am single for 4 months, and for the last 2 days I was thinking so much about my previous relationship, just wanted to call and accept everything he wanted, just forget myself, my needs. I was feeling really lost with my contradict thoughts, about what I should do, if my needs were not meant to be with him, etc. Then I saw this video, I wasn't really interested, not feeling lonely. But the teaching is so profund, so smart, so deep, so true, it blows your mind. Thank you again for helping so many people ❤️
The lady asking has not got to a place where she really needs an answer. Kim is correct 100%... Life has not humiliated her enough to get that she is latching on a belief so strongly...
WHY does everyone minimize the NORMAL feeling of wanting to have a significant other to share life with? There's absolutely nothing wrong in wanting a life partner to share life with... everyone always makes the person who is ready, eager and happy to share life with a partner feel guilty about that want and sincere desire... You can have everything, and feel "Complete" in your own company, but having a significant other to maximize that feeling is always rewarding... Enough of making the ones looking to share life with a partner feel guilty or in a "Wrong Frequency".
Agreed! The fact that this woman "has it all" but still feels empty proves it. There is an innate need for loving human beings to be intimate with someone. To share thoughts feelings and life experiences with one another person. Just like there is an innate need for food, and water. You can fast, and discipline yourself but at one point you will have to eat and drink again. It isn't a co-incidence that one of the highest forms of punishment in our society is solitary confinement. It also isn't a co-incidence that serial killers are usually lonely outcasts of society. Perhaps there is a state of consciousness in which you suddenly do not desire human intimacy. If so, I certainly have not experienced it yet. :)
I don't think the point of this video was to say that this desire is wrong. It was more about being careful what you wish for: so often we head into new relationships because of this desire that are not good for us or the other person/people involved. We just kinda let this desire controll our actions without being conscious about it. We seek an ideal instead of a human and are surprised and hurt when the human comes to light.
I think the point she was trying to make is - happy if you are alone and happy if you are with a partner ...so many are not happy when they are alone and it is addressing this …..
Thank you for your insight Kim. We want, want, want, but when we get what we 'want' often we want something else, as is obvious by the high divorce rates, over consumption of food, things, drugs, etc. I personally believe loving what is, as hard as it may be, brings great wisdom, peace and growth.
The conditioning from our parents is so deep inside of us...for hundrets of years people lived in codependency ....to change this pattern is the hardest challenge but its the only way to free our minds ...
Totally agree. I felt like that friday night, when I did not have plans..but then, on saturday morning upon waking up refreshed and ready to go to the beach, the thought or the judgment of friday night was long gone. Our ego is so annoying. :) as for a partner, I have desired to have one for the tingling, endeering feelings you can get when you are with someone but that is so short lived. Then the feeling of exhaustion from the hard work and the realization: I do not want a guy, I can't stand the complexity of relationships. It is a choice indeed and it is liberating to know that, at this day and age, we can choose. That alone is so very great.
Really appreciate Kim's comments about conscious relationships especially with regards to living in a way that gives both people space. It has inspired me as I find I need alone time to meditate and process :)
The advice is sound. If you are feeling apprehensive, it is something you may need to clear in your own belief system. Try just listening with eyes closed. The eyes can be judgemental sometimes.
Wow, you're so amazing, and Eckhart is amazing as well. I understand all about the loneliness. I am independent, i had those relationships where they were so co-dependent, that I couldn't deal with their constant neediness, it was so excessive for many years. I was their doormat, . I am no longer a door mat, a little over two years now. I have two small dogs, and I love that they are in the present moment, they are always in the Now. I have been practicing the now everyday. I get through work. I try and make sure thought it turned off. The Power of Now, has changed everything for who I am.
I felt like her way of talking is more aggressive & straightforward than eckhart, but i understand more listening to her. She uses real example which is relatable & easier to understand. Thank you kim
Great way of describing our behaviour feeling &cohabitation with a partner. We’ve been conditioned to be everything to the other when we may not be up to that part of commitment.. we should adjust our expectations. We are really alone we help each other but at the end of the day we are alone without our fears anxiety anger etc.
“Look at why you just ran away”…I feel like she ran away because her feelings were being slightly dismissed. We’ve all heard the same comment of “you need to be happy alone” but the women said she was happy. Life’s best moments are usually moments that are shared and this women clearly just wants to share her happiness with someone.
A really great talk around the subject of loneliness and the desire to be with someone. It made me think very deeply about my previous relationship and how we’d interact. It’s possible to be physically close to your partner constantly yet you are still experiencing loneliness. I agree with the idea of personal space between you and your partner and a respect for time spent with ourselves. 🙏🏽☮️🌱
Again nice job Kim on this deep truth, the response was for all of us. 👌 I'm sure that helped her shes a smart gal that asked those questions, so she'll figure this out now for herself. It's exactly what I know to be true, and why I prefer aloneness . You found the perfect male who gets this for himself also. I've not found a conscious male, so this is preferred, to avoid their rediculous false beliefs, because they see later they are unhappy..and are too asleep to know this.
I used to think that something was wrong with me for wanting what she has with Eckhart, this form of free and non attached love and also being totally fine alone but now I know something was actually right with me.
I've spent 39 yrs leaving 3 relationships as soon as I felt they were starting to control me I hit the road, I married & he was mentally exhausting but he passed so now i am free I have always loved my own company, & i am growing more & more every day I love just going with the flow.
thank you so much for the wonderful explanation. So easy to understand. Really loved the finger work showing partners, I’m v visual and really got it. I also love your honesty, openness and great great humour. Bless you so so much. Xxx
That answer was so insensitive... i feel bad for the woman who had the courage to speak and had her feelings denied. Maybe a partner wouldnt be the answer, ok, but human connection is a serious need, and a partner surely helps a lot. Its too easy to say we need to "be complete" and "be independent" and all, but it is simply impossible to live alone.
Living alone doesn't involve not connecting. I connect with people every day, we share, we laugh, we connect. Attachment is different. Attachment means 'neediness, can't live without, how can I manage without them'. That's Codependency. Inter- dependency is when 2 people decide to live together because they WANT and choose to. Not because they need to. Not every single person is unhappy. What you're saying is YOU can't live alone. And that's fine. Some people can. And that's fine too ❤😊
I understand what this woman means .I find Saturday so lonely . I realise it was I wanted to spend time with the people I cared about. But they were always going out clubbing . When they spent time with me . I felt they were bored . My sister's,also where always going out and leaving me behind. As i didn't like partying . They resented me . When they had to come home early. As i got tired . This is why I don't enjoy Saturday. I find it to be The loneliest day of the week.
Wonderful explanation. Loneliness is a desire, the desire feeded into our brain through our senses or by our own imagination. Meditate when one is lonely and the one will find, there is nothing to be lonely about. That's a reality check. But our brain is so used to thinking in such a pattern, we feel lonely when such circumstances arises. The only way to get free of this, is to study your feelings of loneliness. Mediate, write down the experience and question it.
This really touched me deeply. I can really relate to a lot that was said. I’ve realized for a long time that I am complete by myself. I spend time with myself. I’ve learned so much. At what point in the relationship ship described do you realize that the time spent apart is a stretching of the connection for one or both people. How does the one feeling it tell the other without fearing being considered codependent? I guess being able to express oneself openly and honestly and the other genuinely caring is key. Keeping the partnership in balance is vital.
Kim is ok as maybe a counselor but just because she’s with tolle she’s not tolle she sounds like a judge mental know it all counselor not my cup of tea she raises controversy tolle does not Too bad
6:40 Looking for something or someone outside yourself to fulfill you . . . that’s an untruth - you won’t find fulfillment externally. If you feel that way then you’re not going deep enough into yourself. 13:31
For me personally, it isn't about finding a partner to complete me. It's about being able to share so many of the moments and thoughts in life which, otherwise, are left somewhat muted. It is not a constant pang, and yes, in a more, or fully, present state, the lack of sharing is less significant, less concerning. However, the enhanced experience of being able to share life's moments with an equal and engaging mind, is something which, so far, I have not been able to forget, or stop missing.
Eventually we all grow out of love language of physical touch as we age…fill your own bucket of love with self care and self awareness first then share yourself whole self with another
I love that question, its deep. And i get it. I respect men but i dont need them to define me. They compliment women not complete them. Vice versa maybe true too..dont know. LONLINESS is different to SOLITUDE . One is lack of other, the other is presence of self...which should be enjoyable else one always feels lonely.
I relate to her so much and I am glad she asked that question. Thanks much o her. I do not think she really got an answerthough. No rel ationship is perfect but there can be and are good ones that last. never happened for me though. Hope she finds what she finds what she is looking for.
19:00 "it's really hard to be with some one all the time". Really? This is just a conviction, a thought in the mind. This is ego. In those moments, you are not with your Self and project that dis-ease onto the other or the situation. Then the little self wants it's own appartement. Go deeper within. Good advise she has for the woman, but should apply to herself also. Living apart or together is not the issue. If you are one with the Self, you can live anywhere and be at ease. You are always together and always zero. Sharing zero is bliss.
Also you are looking outside your self for love. You like us all need to love ourselves. It's true we all experience loneliness. But don't look outside ourselves for love. Go within love thyself feel the peace 😂 joy.
Wow that is profound.., I wish I could achieve that level of understanding and consciousness, that would bring so much peace to my life instead of this emotional roller coaster of neediness and begging for love and begging for fulfillment from other person. We are beggars for love and intimacy, we lack self love and we neglect ourselves to feel love. That is so sad. That is why people are never truly happy in relationships. It is just temporary fulfillment.
This is probably one of the BEST advices that I've ever heard of when it comes to relationships. It's all about being ok with ourselves, it's ok to be lonely, but what is most important is self-love. Once we truly love ourselves, expectations from the outer world vanish and a tremendous feeling of peace arises. Thank you Kim, you made me smile a lot :)
When your partner pass away all this hits you like a punch in your face. You realise how much you were relying on him and that now you have to stand on your two feet. I am not saying that I have found that presence within me, I still feel this desperation, and I totally understand it, but I have realised about it. I feel a lot of sympathy. Bless.
Yaa right! Trying to create a mind set here! Detachment is the best option, loneliness is a blessing in disguise, who needs any intimacy or bonding or even a relationship blah blah blah! Go against the natural and take the humanity down the drain, what is left of it.
I was prompted to ask myself who I would be, if I could reveal my feelings anonymously. How ironic that hiding behind anonymity can give the security to be who you want to be. Now I just need to learn to feel safe revealing my true self with my own face, then maybe I can be my own salvation from loneliness. God bless
It's really interesting to learn about different way of having a relationship and personal details of Kim and Eckhart lifestyle :) Many couples like to sleep in different bedrooms, including myself, but sometimes it's other people beliefs from outside of our relationship that comes question our way of living, it's the only disturbing part of doing things differently.
