I love your channel. Parts work changed my life. My therapist and I agreed to temporarily stop therapy mid-last year, so I can use what I have learned on my own. Her words were, "you have remapped the blueprint of yourself." I am so proud of what I have accomplished. I use your channel to remind myself of what I have learned. Thank you for all that you do.
I enjoy all your clips Dr. Olds but the IFS series has been very impactful to me. I've taken several "intro" IFS courses some of which are direct material of Dr. Schwartz's. But your approach and explanation of IFS is so clear and easy to understand, to relate to, and to apply in the clinical setting (I'm a therapist). THANK you for your continued dedication to our profession and your service to your community.
Brilliant. You explain IFS so well. I posted a comment on part one of your video. I'm really hoping we can use IFS as a family and/or individually to heal ourselves and our relationships. I've done a bit on my own with an on-line Dick Schwartz meditation and some on my own. Not sure if I'm doing it right but I feel like I'm getting a real benefit already. I'm so much more focused on planning and getting things done without distraction; I am in my 50s and was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. It would be great to find a good therapist(s) here in the UK, Nottingham. I love what you said at the end of this video about the human race facing complex problems that we all need to be able to present for with our true adult selves (or words to that effect). I'm feeling like IFS has the potential to empower the disenfranchised, the meek, the damaged should among us to take on those who are equally in need of IFS who are destroying the planet. I'm so concerned about the climate crisis and want to be as affective as I can to bring about change. I've been down a very long and twisty internet rabbit hole with lots of branching side tunnels to find your video, but I really feel I've arrived at the solution to my own salvation and hopefully, collectively of the human race and the diversity of life and habitats on this beautiful planet.
Thanks for the thoughtful and kind comment, Steve! Yes, I think if we can all learn to attend to the various aspects of our experience so they can heal (rather than be voiceless or conversely take over our mature capacities), then we would be in better stead in terms of facing that external problems we need to collectively face. I appreciate your comments...
Wow.......fantastic....thank you so much!!!!! I have 2 consultations with IFS therapists next week and it was great to get this incredibly succinct and clear overview, blessings!!
Thank you for this. How do we relate to others in the work place who do not have this information and they are pulling you into a dysfunctional system?
Your channel is literally an act of love. For those that can’t afford or don’t have access to mental health services, your clear and considerate way of breaking down this education can be so impactful. I’ve done a lot of self development work but some ideas felt too abstract or weren’t a good fit for self guidance. IFS has been an absolute game changer and I’m seeing myself in an entirely new light. Not just treating symptoms and pretending I’m healing but understanding and having more concrete inner work happening. Your channel, among others, has been really helpful in digesting this information. Thank you so much for having this information out here for free ❤❤❤
I agree. My therapist suggested to watch another video about IFS and I landed here, this has been so helpful and I'm learning so much about myself. Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏
“I’m usually a pretty nice guy, but then sometimes I’m not, and it really freaks me out, and I feel crazy and ashamed.” - 5:10: This is what I said aloud into my empty kitchen, after my last relationship ended. That was when I surrendered and went to therapy.
As a Psychotherapist, I love listening to you. You are amazing at expressing and communicating these ideas and modalities. Even though I am already IFS informed, I stayed just to hear how you explain it. Thanks.
I love how you tied it all in with the survival of the human race at the end. Not only to end the cycle of trauma but just to have the wisdom and brainpower we need! ❤Recovery work (in Western society at least) is usually viewed so individually. We’re on our own and we’re only doing it because something is wrong with us. But yeah! This work is a necessary contribution to society!! THATS the shift in attitude that I want to see take place.
Probably the best description of Internal Family Systems parts I’ve heard! 🤩 I’ve been practicing IFS daily since 2016. Congrats on putting together such a well thought out, articulate video! 🌟 (And yes…that’s my Self speaking.) 😄
Thanks so much for saying so!! Interesting the follow-up comment and how to practice IFS. I should really make more videos to guide people…that’s the plan!! :)
You are a divine spark! I would love to meet your parents, teachers, and other significant people from your childhood! They did quite a good job. You are not of advanced years, and yet you are very obviously acting from your Self to enthusiasticly sharing this information with such clarity and truth, and inspiration! Thank you so much for making this series of videos. I am sure that those who are even slightly curious and watch this will begin to become people who can literally save the human race one part at a time !❤️
IFS actually achieves the same result as a Kudalini awakening, both result in a coalescing of a fragmented consciousness. However the Kudalini process can be a real 'taking a sledghammer to crack a nut' scenario. I know I've been in an extemley hard 'top down' Kundalini process for the last ten years. Kudalini is not an actual energy, it's an expansion of consciousness which can result in a lot of energy being released in th body.
Thank you for making these videos. In four videos you made IFS clearer and more accessible than a year of study has done for me, and I say this as a practicing therapist. Thank you.
Free= integrated Thank you. Free from unresolved/traumatized hurt experiences, integrated mind that can make healthy choices without being torn from every direction. So simple yet very complex. Thank you for your clarity.
Listening to your channel feels super soothing to me. I have been studying for a super long time in self-development and internal healing, and I feel I have made huge progress in my life. However some really big pieces weren't connecting lately. I haven't been sleeping, my body is totally tense and I feel like I am in fight or flight mode... I am struggling to function well, and I am discovering I have been avoiding facing the part that is trying to protect me from failure. Learning about IFS therapy seems like the key in lifting the lid. Scary as it is! Anyway thank you for your channel! I am a new subscriber.
I was 50, married to a narc before I realised that I was a people pleaser with no boundaries and I allowed people to treat me like a doormat. No more, I've shown them the door and firmly shut it behind them
Authenticity feels like freedom, but it’s also scary to get there. Thank you for this video, it’s given me so much to reflect on. 🌿💫 How do you practice being true to yourself daily?
What a phenomenal explanation! I’ve been practicing IFS for years now and have heard many intros and this one is so simple and enjoyable to listen to. Very cohesive and fluid and delivered with a really lovely tone. Thank you!
Love your videos Tori. Do you have any experience in treating OCD with IFS? I’ve struggled with OCD for decades but feel like relating to parts and that self compassion aspect is really bringing about a change in me.
For any help it might provide, I'll mention Ross Green's book 'The Explosive Child,' a parenting book for parents of children with conditions such as OCD, ADHD and worse. I've used its method with a child in my extended family who has these issues, with dramatically beneficial results, and I've now started using it with my own 'parts,' also, I think, with great results. I recommend reading the book - it's very short - but, in summary, the approach to those conversations is you approach the child - or the part - and say, 'I've noticed x about you and wondered if we could talk about it. This is not a telling off, I just want to understand.' If you encounter resistance, you let it go, but if the subject is receptive, you can say, 'Here's why x seems to me to be a problem ...' and then, 'How does it seem to you?' The final part is, if the child, or part, agrees that it's a problem, you ask if they can think of a solution. You don't prescribe and you don't mind-read. That's the basic framework. It can of course become more fluid and intuitive in practice.
Excellent video. The importance of this therapy is incredible. Now I understand why Dr. Gabor Maté mentioned this form of therapy as being very useful. The world would be certainly different if this form of therapy would be applied on a massive scale. Thanks Dr. Olds for such a brilliant, clear and complete explanation of IFS.
In my 30+ year journey of healing from a rough (to say the least) childhood, I’ve found help through books & videos of a few standout teachers including the groundbreaker in compassion towards addiction - Gabor Mate. I encountered the work of Richard Schwartz about a month ago. I’m fairly good at understanding abstract concepts although Schwartz’s book No Bad Parts is a little had to grasp the application on a practical level. Finding your videos, Dr. Olds, was a stroke of luck for me. Your explanations are so clear & graspable! ♥️🙏 And reading here that another viewer also appreciates the wisdom of Gabor Mate is affirming. I love it when there is an overlap in the wise voices that teach me & move me towards healing. I hope you will write a book, Dr. Olds - maybe with a partner workbook on healing with IFS. Sending much gratitude!
Hi there from sunny Australia 😊 I'm new to your channel, but I'm already a fan! You have a very warm and kind energy which is lovely! I'm a sucker for learning about the way us humans think, and how we can grow and learn to love and be more compassionate.. Wondering what you think of the Myers-Briggs personality test and its validity? I found out I'm an INFP (Much to my dismay lol 😆 I took the test another 2 times hoping I'd get a different result haha) Hope its ok to ask! Love your work! 💜 Xxx
Wow, your attitude is incredible. Thank you for sharing the knowledge so incredibly kind. As if you care for all the strangers that you will help with your videos. Thanks a lot!
I feel like simply being 'in contact' with you and experiencing your compassion towards me (and all the other people on the internet) makes me feel more connected and loved and courageous to unlayer myself. Thanks for being such a role model. I feel you have really positively impacted my life. Thank you...
Really good video, thank you. I would add that the brain resides not only in our head, but also in our heart. So an integrated brain means we have an open heart, and we can be in connection with ourselves, others and the wider world.
I am very excited to be a part of this transformation series. I am a student of mindfulness and just completed the Palouse 8 week mindfulness course (MBSR) based on Jon Cabot Zinn's scientific studies which offers daily meditations and interactions with others seeking to optimize their life circumstances. I learned of Dr. Olds IFS transformational series in one of the meditation groups. I'm so grateful to have found IFS through MBSR. I am a retired Psychotherapist. Thank you for this opportunity.
WOW! Such an important video that really gives me a fuller perspective to what I have found in other therapies, couching and reading. This is the fundamental question for every human being. "Who am I", and how do I truly express myself and interact with other people, nature and circumstances as authentically as possible? I am always in the search for the Self, or the "I". and looking for language I understand expresses it clearly. So this is pretty clear to me. I learned of IFS from Gabby Bernstein, her book "Happy Days" and her podcast with Ed Mylett. Other interesting therapies are EMDR, Brainsportting, Rapid Transformational Therapy, RTT. I also had great help understanding IFS through studying "the Stick Person" by Bob Proctor:
I have just started IFS. Listening to the book by Richard Schwartz was a bit confusing in the begining. These videos are clear, concise and powerful. Thank you so much for this.
It seems like the highest self, could be compared to the spiritual consciousness. Relieved of the conflict of living or being caught in mental and emotional polarity, the open flowing Self can emerge in the center of awareness. In my studies it feels like the highest vibration is a state of grounded freedom. Then to a state of possibility, where choice feels real. And then to a state of fragmentation where we divide into selves, parts, identified limitation.. The key to health being the conscious relaxed allowing of All Three states. The Self is source, possibility is emotional flexibility. Identify is bounded limitation. The flow state, would be the freedom to enjoy all three states without being caught in any of them. Just some tangential thoughts that played out from this valuable insightful vidio. Thank you.
As a combat veteran can you speak more to how one can fully “leave the post” and stand down? I feel like you demobilize your equipment and uniforms but when does the mind of a warrior fully stand down???
I work nights and days. Only on my day shifts do I suffer with chronic fatigue. My nights shifts I'm tired of course but my day shifts ruin me. I believe it's childhood trauma. My father was a violent man. Of he perceives I looked at him 'funny' he would beat me . I learned to be afraid of how people perceive me. The day shifts have over 2000 staff and I feel anxious with so many people. The night shifts have no staff. So it's very clear it's psychological. Can I unbend from my fatigue? Thankyou
I just Love your delivery and approach on the topic of embracing all our parts as opposed to negating them and punishing ourselves more in the process of resisting them. Therefore continuing to feed the traumas, rather than walking thru them and knowing they’re just mechanisms in place established to protect us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ♥️ “The higher self is def always there and always amazing!”
I'm so happy to discover your videos, Dr. Tori Olds. You really have a nice way of presenting this interesting topic. I have been working with Archetypes and personal shadow work and it´s just like this, but I'm curious about one thing and maybe the answer is to be found in the collective unconscious Carl Jung taught us about. There we find archetypal energies we can be possessed by them and feel like we become obsessed with them, but they are not me, they are not my personal parts they are parts of the collective unconcios. I bet you heard about the Warrior, King, Magician, and Lover, and their bipolar passive and active shadow aspects? So when you're not fully integrated into the Warrior Archetype for example you have a bipolar sadist and masochistic shadow aspect and they are just like a persecutor and a victim, and I wonder how I can deal with this challenge? Maybe they are "burdens" I can dissociate from, but I have to associate with them first and acknowledge their presence in my life, like a part of my personality, what do you think?
I read the other day that our brain is divided into our conscious and subconscious. In our conscience self we are divided in our masked self and our male/female self and these exist in all of us. In our subconscious there is our shadow self and our hero and until we connect with all of these aspects we can not be complete. I live in Canada and we have 1 psychiatrist for every 400000 people and had the privilege of taking with one a few years back and was diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder. I accidentally killed my dad in my early 20’s and have been trying very hard through reading and learning to be okay because no one in the medical world has ever known what to do with my pain. RU-vid seems my best way to find brilliant people even if it’s not real help it’s something.
Nice videos, thanks! The "Big Self" sounds like the "Self as Context" in ACT, experienced more and more with the practice/experience of mindfulness (sensations, thoughts, and feelings) and cognitive defusion. "Neural integration" sounds like the concept of "psychological flexibility," too 😊
Looking at it from a Maslow's heirachy of needs POV, I'd say the socioeconomic problems of today are undermining the various levels below self actualisation rather than problems we need to be self actualised to solve.
Your videos are lovely in so many ways, but your voice is so calming. When you are listing the 8 C's I feel like having that clip on loop, kinda as affirmations would be powerful
Oh, that's cool to hear!! Someone commented that it might be nice to have a few guided meditations from me as well...which I think is a great idea...but also glad to know that the content itself is soothing for you! :)
The Self is amazing because we are created in the image and likeness of God and Dick discovered that within each of us. Compassionate, connected, curious connected with our created divine self which connects with the love and wisdom of God.
It's so amazing. You inspire me very much. I remember the time I practice IFS. It looks like i let each of my protectors step back. Many time it's not easy with some protectors. And I just quit temporarily. But I would love to try again. Because the more I try, the more love and courage i get. It just likes something that had gone now back home and I become more than i can see
Wow you have such a lovely manner about you that it makes it easy to listen to your explanation. Also the way you word things is super easy to understands these tricky concepts. Thank you
I very much appreciate the work you are doing. It feels as though you’re being the link between science and spirituality helping them meld, therefore increasing access to people from all walks of life and belief systems. Thank you 🙏
I’m grateful for the effort and care put into this. Unfortunately I’m having trouble understanding what it’s about. I feel like most of what I heard was the title said a bunch of different ways without any help getting there. I want the help
I am not even my mind. While I sit at my desk… my mind can be in another place.. also mind can be controlled by medication. This is only my experience.
I can tell that you wield your blended (s)elf like the "Full-Fledged-Human-Being" that you are. Are you really the "Doer" though. Lastly, I want to say that I believe you are a Brilliant Being in Action. Please, please continue this work. You reach so many...You've reached me.
Great but I was hoping you would provide specific exercises to do to get in touch with the 'parts', have a conversation with them and help them heal. For me this seems to the the trickiest part of IFS to do especially by yourself, even with Dick's books and videos its not easy to grasp how to bring up a certain 'part' and communicate with it without feeling like you're acting in an artificial way.
That is a truly great idea!! I am actually working to develop sort of 'companion course to therapy' that would give clients daily practices...including with parts work. However, that will probably take me at least a year to create! So in the mean time I should definitely think about putting something up on youtube! Thanks! ;)
Okay...to follow up. A friend of mine just emailed me a series he put together (he has a ton of great IFS content on youtube). But this particular series goes over working with shame. And in the third video, he walks through an in-depth visualization. That might be helpful to ya'll. You have to enter your email first (as a statement that you are taking responsibility for whatever comes up in the practice), but then the video automatically pops up. So I would recommend watching part 1 and 2, and then going for the experiential part 3. Let me know what you think!! :)
The description so far seems like a side effect of samatha/concentration meditation where we calmly observe parts of our psyche come and go to learn to let go of them, not feeding them with our attention
Now I can stop lighting a fire and then wave my hand into it to see is its warm . I would have to throw my eye in the fire cause my eye doesn't sense heat my body feels and not my eye .so I should trust my eyes more. And I wouldn't look like a cave man every time I make a fire.
it is that which is called by few as consciousness ,few as awareness ,few as isness ,few as capital self ,....tat vam asi ,you are that and all others are passing clouds on it .the idea that one can unblend the parts or unknot the ties ,is untieing the donkey which was never tied ....
Thank you for this series - it is brilliant and easy to understand. Could you tell me where to find the "I'm in memory " exercise from coherence therapy ?
Just cutting and pasting my other response, in case you see this one only: Oh yes...you know, I haven't put it up yet, but I plan to do so soon!! (I had a tech issue with it, but hopefully it will be resolved). In the mean time, if you happen to have Bruce Ecker's book (Unlocking the Emotional Brain), I happen to know off the top of my head that it is on page 115 ;)
When I started watching this video I was fairly sure I was going to find it cringeworthy, but it certainly surpassed my expectations. I was cringing HARD. I did continue listening right to the end, but to reduce the cringe factor I did need to avoid allowing my attention to remain to focused on what I was hearing, and also allow myself to stop watching and just listen. It helped me to stay connected with what I was hearing without those “protector parts” getting triggered. So….why did I find it so cringeworthy? Well I guess for reasons that are similar to what many find so attractive about this kind of narrative. It reeks of spiritual bypass. In the language of trauma work it seems to be a clear case of somebody in functional freeze, largely unable to experience her true feelings. Hence the beatific smile while she’s talking about things that are actually quite harrowing. “The true self is always there, and it’s always amazing.” That is Cartesian BS. I am a biological organism of the human species, and whether I am amazing or not depends on what I’m doing and who else is there to be amazed (or not). Sometimes I find myself pretty amazing, but it would be super unhealthy to stake my sense of self-worth on always finding myself amazing. In any case, I continue to metabolise.
