How to Grieve the Life You Wanted

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How to Grieve the Life You Wanted
On today’s show, we hear about:
- A woman navigating co-parenting with her ex
- A mother realizing the damage she’s done to her son
- A husband desperate to rebuild his marriage
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or reach out via this page: Ask a Question - Ramsey (ramseysolutions.com) We want to talk to YOU!
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The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
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7 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 273

@saterrah.6677 10 месяцев назад

He did her the favor by leaving whether she likes to hear that or not. Because he could stay with her and cheat, gaslight her to death, make her feel she is going crazy, and her living in hell daily. She needs to look at this as a blessing in disguise that he showed her who he really is early than go through years of misery.

@PepeCoinMania 10 месяцев назад

maybe he's done, sometimes the guy its just done and dont want any trouble anymore. such women are completely broken and will blame somebody else

@Jigbunu 10 месяцев назад

Exactly, leaving was actually the brave and fair thing to do. Knowing he was going to hurt her but ultimately it’s what’s best for her

@B6east 10 месяцев назад

Agreed. I heard a wise saying once : The first time someone shows you who they really are, believe them. (Wish I knew who to credit.)

@carolineblue9399 10 месяцев назад

Quote is from Maya Angelou :)

@HeartFireSessions 5 месяцев назад

In the long run, yes, but that comes after processing the hurt and pain, not as an escape from it.

@pulidobl 10 месяцев назад

First call - the man should have „“found“ himself before he brought 3 kids into the world…

@Jigbunu 10 месяцев назад

He didn’t bring the children into the world…the women did.

@debbielockhart7762 10 месяцев назад

@Jigbunu What an idiotic comment. It takes two- duh.

@Sunrise-fr9jb 7 месяцев назад

@@Jigbunuhe had two kids with another woman and also had a kid with her. He should have kept it in his pants

@vide0sgal0re2011 6 месяцев назад

@@Jigbunuso how do u explain a man that marries produced 3 kids, didnt let wife work told her to be at homemaker plus homeschool, then when the kids are about 9 divorce because now he feels that he wants to be gay. Leave wife homeless, no financial support, nor be a father to his kids to go and be with his new love

@Jigbunu 6 месяцев назад

@@vide0sgal0re2011 that’s a low life man with mental heath challenges

@miriamgarando1497 10 месяцев назад

John is absolutely amazing: a subtle mix of compassion, clarity, masculinity, kindness and generosity! Wow, thanks a lot for these precious insights of yours.

@bethkelsey1 4 месяца назад

I met someone that I fell for like I had never fallen. It was like he was part of my soul, and after a loveless, abusive marriage to my first husband, it was a remarkably beautiful thing, until it wasn’t. I discovered he was a secret alcoholic, and with the accompanying and increasing behaviours, I left. Twice. It has been thirteen years, and I still grieve the good and the incredible connection and sense of home I had in him. I am in my seventies now, and have never been able to let anyone get that close to me. I apparently don’t choose well!

@benitadavis659 3 месяца назад

Ive just had tgat experience with a man like he was part of my own soul I am 54. I am going through the most painful loss break up ever with endless grief I totally understand.

@bethkelsey1 3 месяца назад

@@benitadavis659 I am so sorry. It hurts so much.

@Kathy-qu8zj 18 дней назад

@@benitadavis659 Theybsay women feel things 7 times more than a man.. that’s why we stay with our children no matter what.. even through abuse. The human race would never have survived if we didn’t. Many men are simply led by their penis. Doesn’t usually end well if mama didn’t teach them any better.

@DM-gb9xq 4 месяца назад

She seems in complete denial. I do not understand why she is not more angry and done with this guy. She is settling for crumbs.

@Kathy-qu8zj 3 месяца назад

Head games when you grow up innocent and trusting a fairytale we women are always brainwashed with. The Cinderella Complex. We hafta change that..

@Kathy-qu8zj 3 месяца назад

( it’s a huge Mind F🤬!!!!! You don’t know until you’ve really been there!!!!!)😅

@aprilwashington96 2 месяца назад

It’s the classic “trying to keep the family together”. John should’ve asked her about her upbringing. Veronica is not going to see clearly until she stops sleeping with him.

@RichardTouchfaith 10 месяцев назад

At a young age I wanted a cabin on the lake, a boat, jet ski, canoe, three Doberman's, plenty of fishing, enjoying nature. I now have a 5,000 sq feet house living in the suburbs of middle of America. Driving 45 minutes each way in my overpriced $80,000 truck. 8 hours of constant pointless meetings with no real work outcome. A working spouse, two kids away to an expensive college. All these great American achievements and plenty of money still leaves me empty inside.

@Mrs.LadeyBug 10 месяцев назад

I’m really sorry. I hear the sadness, and the feeling of utter stuckness in your words. Do you have a spouse that you have shared your young person dreams with? Did she share those dreams? Can you take any steps toward doing some summer weekends at the lake? I know that life doesn’t usually go the way of our childhood imaginations or goals. But it sounds like maybe there is a chance that you could make a few of these things happen “part time” in the future? Or even work towards the goal of selling your suburban home and getting that rural place once the kids are out of the home, if your spouse gets/is on the same page? We lived in very low economical status (to put it mildly) for almost all of our marriage, renting small apartments, at times not even eating adequate nutrition despite knowledge, desire, and great effort, and my hubby was in school while I was very ill. Our kids were ok and healthy, as we ensured that they got what they needed no matter what, but it was bare minimum for much of their childhood. Now, after 20 years, we just bought our first home… a beautiful treed acreage with a small older house with fruit trees, and a small berry farm, and a huge garden area, and a heated shop/garage (bigger than the house 😂). We truly didn’t think it would ever happen. We felt complete and whole without it because we were a whole family relationally. Because of the northern climate and rural roads (even in the towns! Haha!) we both have trucks, and believe it or not, they are worth as much as our house. That bothers me… and yes, we absolutely owe a lot of money. We don’t have “plenty of money” at this point, but we are living the best life we can, we are thrilled in our location and hubby’s vocation, and we are united in goals, in faith, and in relationship. Honestly, we do not feel “more fulfilled” now than we did when our kids were young and we were “poorer”. We have always felt that if we are unified things will be ok. I’m wondering if you have shared your dreams with your spouse and if she shares your vision? Or did you give it up or never aim for it? Is this profound emptiness a sudden realization? Maybe it is a nudge to do the next thing…

@PepeCoinMania 10 месяцев назад

not bad at all people live worse in. most countries.

@PepeCoinMania 10 месяцев назад

@@Mrs.LadeyBug try live in Gaza

@gloriack7976 10 месяцев назад

Do it!! That’s still my dream and I’m drowning in the getting there of it but I’m not willing to say oh I’m never going to get there. I just talked to a 76 year old lady who always wanted to run a community garden but couldn’t find a community to do it with. So she just turned her backyard into one giant garden. She started five years ago and she now has over two acres in random spots throughout her neighborhood that she personally works in and oversees. She involves the children throughout the neighborhood and employs them throughout the summer. That to say, if a 71yr old can start up a dream after decades of being unable to do so, you can too!!

@alandalemorris 10 месяцев назад

Ppp

@zenlife321 10 месяцев назад

The first caller is in the doormat space to this man, because he’s hurt her so badly. I’ve been there hun. He told me he would come back for me. It’s been 4 years and he’s never come back for me. He moved on way faster, way easier than I like to accept. You will heal. It will get better. You will learn to be there for yourself. You will find someone who doesn’t do this to you. Life goes on…❤🙏

@Jigbunu 10 месяцев назад

Saying he will come back is just to let you down gently.

@Fe26man 10 месяцев назад

Moving right into another relationship super quickly is a huge red flag and a blessing that you don’t have to deal with that. Knowing he thought so little of your relationship that he just moved on to the next should let you sigh that huge sigh of relief. Sounds like a toxic pattern with codependency issues. No one needs or wants that!

@aprilwashington96 2 месяца назад

Myth: Men don’t move on fast. They were already entertaining the other person, and when they feel they had them locked in, they drop the other person. It’s just like job hunting but you don’t get the 2 weeks notice.

@umiluv 10 месяцев назад

I’ve been severely depressed before. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It is emptiness beyond emptiness. Pain doesn’t adequately describe it but it is a type of pain. I called it the pit of despair. It’s a horrible place to be. It’s what I imagine hell is. Depression is no joke. I hope that wife gets the help she needs.

@maryanne2939 6 месяцев назад

I had a great secure job as a nurse until I got sick and couldn't work. 2 lessons I learned....always buy long term disability insurance from your employer because you never know what can happen to you.

@jh26pt2 10 месяцев назад

Iris: your accent is lovely. Even if it weren’t, you never need to apologize for who you are.

@rustyshackleford6637 10 месяцев назад

Her attitude is not so lovely

@intherockies 7 дней назад

I love her accent!

@christinamartinez8132 5 месяцев назад

First caller, Veronica saw how the guy left his wife and adopted kids and she didn't think he would abandon her with a baby too? New girlfriends always think they are special and the same won't happen to them. Crazy.

@RachelGerrard Месяц назад

Not only did she see it, she rewarded it….

@hummingbird4934 2 дня назад

Kinda sounds like he preys on vulnerable women to me. What a prick!

@tinam761 10 месяцев назад

The nurse should know that people’s health is NOT guaranteed… she doesn’t know if she will get sick or be involved in an accident or if her child will and she can’t work… that’s immature thinking.

@Mrs.LadeyBug 10 месяцев назад

Yes. It’s decent wages, but not THAT much… I thought she was going to say she was a large company CEO or something. I don’t think she knows how much kids cost. She’s such a lovely caring woman, and I really feel for her. I hope she has all she needs to spend as much time with her child as needed. It would be sad if she needs to work extra to support her little family, when what her little one needs is time with her.

@bahena735 10 месяцев назад

She's delusional haha

@pimaggot 10 месяцев назад

But if they are doing 50/50 custody why should the man have to pay child support? I have 50/50 custody and the amount I pay in child support is equal to 25 percent of the difference between our two incomes. So if she were to make more money than I do she would pay but since I make more money I pay the insurance and some support.

@chelseaburnside9091 10 месяцев назад

Seriously I got ptsd from working covid and now my $65k income is gone.

@urgentcaredr 10 месяцев назад

@@Mrs.LadeyBugnurses make well over 200k annually. 😉

@maryhirsch863 10 месяцев назад

There is no hope for Veronica. With this man. She needs to thank him. He’s doing her a big favor. It doesn’t seem like it now. But being in the same situation, I can tell you it’s a gift thank him for the life you had, and MoveOn.

@user-tu1mj9jy1e 10 месяцев назад

Girl! Never apologize for your accent. It’s beautiful and part of you! ❤

@nnyv0040 10 месяцев назад

Her accent do does add colour to the world! imagine we all spoke the same? We would be robots. She must have been bullied for her accent. Poor lady. Hope she learns to love her accent.

@sophiaiswisdom1 10 месяцев назад

The guy getting upset about stopping in the middle of his task needs to get over himself. You made the baby together so you have to help one another and stop treating her like she is a single married mother

@richardle7469 10 месяцев назад

Life has gone wrong more time then I can count, but what don't kill you only make you stronger..." i get knocked down, but you get back up again "-chumbanuma(??)

@Mrs.LadeyBug 10 месяцев назад

Chumbawamba “Tubthumping”! “I get knocked down but I get up again… no ya never gonna keep me down…”. Never mind the rest of the lyrics though. 😆

@Ms.Mel.Creates 4 месяца назад

First caller: bad things sometimes happen to really good people. I’m so sorry this happened. Your grief is valid and real. ❤❤❤❤

@zeiggam 10 месяцев назад

Veronica, girl, I was in the same boat. Move forward. You got this! It’s gonna hurt like hell and (John called it) quiet-but you deserve so much more!

@PepeCoinMania 10 месяцев назад

you are all broken and weak

@rustyshackleford6637 10 месяцев назад

She got herself in a real mess

@wonder12374 10 месяцев назад

Caller 1 unfortunately met a cheating narcissist who at the age of 40 basically just ruined her life. He will be coming back for the occasional hook ups in between women he's dating and probably leave her with more children while he's out having the time of his life and going on dates with younger women....she needs to stop being a babysitter for this man Im curious if his ex wife also watches her 2 yo when she needs a break?

@mightymouse1005 4 месяца назад

They ALWAYS want you on the hook as a backup. Coercive control, more babies and more broken promises

@aprilwashington96 2 месяца назад

Bingo!

@vanessapanek9959 7 месяцев назад

Don’t allow yourself to be coerced into something that isn’t gonna ever come to fruition. Don’t allow someone to talk you into something when they have no intention on fulfilling their promise.

@brittany7573 5 месяцев назад

You can co parent very well without having outings, holidays, and other events together. He is the one who decided to split the family, not you.

@Jennieallen415 10 месяцев назад

That guy is NOT a great dad. Tell the truth.

@brandyk 4 месяца назад

Yes thank you. I know John tries to be. compassionate n non judgemental but we need to start calling things balls n strikes. A good dad doesn't do that. A good dad wouldn't have selfish rushed into the relationship right after his separation n or divorce. And a good Dad would have made sure he didn't have a child so quickly with someone fairly new n with so much on his plate already. Lastly a good dad would have done more to try to work on this relationship at least being honest earlier if something was not working, going to counseling etc. now if course he's already lying to her n probably the new women he is dating and instead of these women running for the hills even if he doesn't lie there's always some desperate selfish women just wanting a man n a child that he will knock up. Let's ask the 3 kids he already has if he's a good Dad in about 20 years.

@thenutrientwhisperer3700 6 месяцев назад

I’m an RN and a nurse practitioner let me just tell you that call is not appreciating the fact that her license can be taken from her if she were to screw up in someway. So it’s not a guarantee that she will always have a job as an RN. Fact.

@aprilwashington96 2 месяца назад

Right. She’s pretty naive to be 40.

@Foxie635 10 месяцев назад

Nursing is not a good career. I am a nurse, it's hard on body and mind.

@mightymouse1005 4 месяца назад

I agree. It's very hard emotionally, mentally and physically. The money doesn't make it worth it

@bluebunny5500 3 месяца назад

I am a ER nurse. I have doubled my income in 4 years and live a great life. I love being a nurse and how it has changed me life

@Amy-oy5hk 10 месяцев назад

I thought a holler-back girl was someone who was dumped or ghosted by a guy, and then he tried to “holler-back” when he had nothing or nobody better to occupy his time. But I’m not sure lol that’s my interpretation of it.

@flashthecorgi2053 10 месяцев назад

Lol I guess we learn the most random things from Delony! 😂

@pimaggot 10 месяцев назад

Courtney Love called Gwen Stefani a cheerleader (in a negative connontation) she wrote the song as a middle finger back to Love.

@thecowsaysmoo6084 6 месяцев назад

I thought is was a booty call.

@melaniecastillo9786 4 месяца назад

Dear Veronica the nurse, Get child support for your kid! This is a no-brainer. This is you and your sons right. His dad needs to be responsible. If you don't need the money now, save it for your son's college. You will be almost 60. Think ahead. Good luck!

@molly5262 10 месяцев назад

Why would 1st caller Vetonica accept the scraps from her husband ?? Have some self respect & tell him he’s either all in or “don’t let the door hit you in your a**!

@Steviejustine824 4 месяца назад

Because she loves him and has low self esteem. Mostly the second one.

@stargazerlily_1978 2 дня назад

Find really good people you can trust. I had a woman in my life 7 years. Loved her like a sister. We had a falling out and a family member and her saw an opportunity to attack. EVERYTHING I told her she told me family member. They wished for me to take my life on social media. I've been put through the ringer. Share but try to keep some things to yourself. Or seek out your pastor and talk openly.

@beqster65 10 месяцев назад

Veronica I can SOOOO relate to lots of your story............ 😢 u r not alone

@savanah1407 10 месяцев назад

❤

@PenelopePeriwinkle 6 месяцев назад

He doesn’t want to pay child support. He’s stringing her along big time. He’s lying Veronica. He has no integrity.

@mightymouse1005 4 месяца назад

I think he wants Veronica on a string in case his other relationship doesn't work. I suspect, he will be love bombing

@user-bo1vo3kp5f 4 месяца назад

It's sad, but if he can't make you his main course, you have to stop being his emotional side dish.

@juliaalzofon9572 10 месяцев назад

Iris, the moment I heard your voice, I wanted to get to know you better. You sound like all the many college friends I had so many years ago in the Bronx, NY, where I went to school. Those were good days and hearing your voice brought them back to me again. I am not Latina and I love the way you speak. Your accent is something I will never have. Please consider that, when you meet a stranger for the first time, he or she might be absolutely charmed by your accent. I certainly am.

@ssiegreen5292 10 месяцев назад

Caller #1 - he does not deserve your compassion or leniency. He's a grown boy - not a man. Who the ff adopts 2 kids and then divorces??? He did not put those children's well-being first as their father [or the first wife's], and he will not put your child's well-being first either, when he is in his next relationship. That man has some serious growing up to do [I'm assuming he is in your age range? 40ish?] - and he hasn't done that yet. You being supportive and understanding just enables him to go on his merry way, creating chaos and more pain for other women coming next. He's made poor choices all his life long, and not taken responsibility for any of them. Let him go and be glad that this happened now, instead of 10,15, 20 years of misery, doubt, lies, cheating, gaslighting etc etc down the road.

@-astrangerontheinternet6687 5 месяцев назад

First wife cheated on him and left.

@ssiegreen5292 5 месяцев назад

@@-astrangerontheinternet6687 And your point is???

@aprilwashington96 2 месяца назад

@@-astrangerontheinternet6687 That’s what he told her… I bet she’d get a different story if she asked the ex-wife herself.

@atdepaulis 10 месяцев назад

Wow… “ I don’t want to let go of hope and move on”… that’s hard.. I would not do any more “family “ moments… it’s too hard to not have hope in those moments

@janethomas78 10 месяцев назад

WOW!! My mom did that to me and caused Anxiety and Depression in me!! GOOD GRIEF!! My mom WAS CRAZY!!

@nancyrowe3964 5 месяцев назад

Veronica Veronica wake up! Your job is to protect and take care of your child first. And yourself second. Listen to Dr. Dalony.

@brandyk 4 месяца назад

Why is John giving this first caller false hope at the end. She's calling bc she needs help moving on n grieving. Giving people in such a state false hope only delays the inevitable. The guy clearly has serious issues. Scary that hes a police officer. He needs help before he messes these kids uo more n future women n possibly more kids.

@intherockies 7 дней назад

To the caller, I'm a RN and I had a great job. I also went through health issues and life fell apart. You never know when an accident is going to happen. Child support is for the child so you need to do that for your child. Please go through the child support agency and make it legal.

@benitadavis659 3 месяца назад

To the lady with the 2 year old. Hopefully you find a better man …but at least you have a baby! Be strong sister life can be a trail of tears ❤

@datheamore6395 9 месяцев назад

Dr. John, you were spot on in that third story especially... I had difficult parents and my emotional deregulation has been a nightmare to find balance and depression is the result. This is how I imagine it is like for my husband having to struggle with me. I am actually getting evaluated next month because I don't want this to ruin the life we have built together. I hope this gentleman's wife chooses to get evaluated.

@SbzeroGames 10 месяцев назад

I am a stay at home dad. I have been helping my wife since day one with our first kid. Now we have three, one has graduated, another one graduating this year, and one in 10th grade.

@PepeCoinMania 10 месяцев назад

lol you are just a miserable dude

@mightymouse1005 4 месяца назад

Your not "helping " with kids. You being a parent. More dads should parent and not leave it to moms only.

@SbzeroGames 4 месяца назад

@@mightymouse1005 That is a great way to look at it also.

@Dionysus_Athena 10 месяцев назад

I feel for this lady, I myself have made the very same mistake. What we forget when we heal our own trauma is the fact that the other person hasn’t healed themselves. I told my ex no more BS family days because we’re not a family, a family consists of a mother, father and child living together being together. I wanted our family together for our sons sake, but realised how much of a bad idea that was. At first we went on a date and I ignored some of those red flags. Then my mood got worse because she at first was all interested we kissed, the first woman in 8 years I go on a date with and kiss. It honestly seems a waste to me. You can only fight a brick wall for so long before it eventually wins. I just keep telling myself she will be the one who regrets the opportunity. There are many things she hasn’t thought of that will annoy her in the end. For instance when I find a good woman who may bond with our child. Or the simple fact when he is older he may want to join me when I finally decide to move overseas.

@liveinms9949 10 месяцев назад

veronica hugs to you let him go he is disloyal

@lindarockower6028 2 месяца назад

I like Iris a lot. My oldest had some stuff going on when she was like your son. She got into martial arts, got friends, & never got bullied again. Turned out cool ❤ Now she's an adult with great friends.

@laveraharper9698 4 месяца назад

Doctor John, you are so honest. That's what draws me to your show ❤ Thank you so much ❤

@RachelTomeTampa 10 месяцев назад

Have child support go though 4 years of college, not just until age 18!

@TG-nh6ni 4 месяца назад

Third caller is a trooper. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety whose partner has MDD...we can sympathize. First step is to be educated about the symptoms. Second step is to ensure that the wife gets mental health support from a professional (including taking meds on time). The most important thing is have an open communication about how both of you are feeling. The wife is capable of caring and loving well when she is not going through an episode.

@mightymouse1005 4 месяца назад

What is MDD please? I'm very interested

@gregandcarrie2 5 месяцев назад

It's all fine, well, and good until the alienation starts .

@GooniesGirl 10 месяцев назад

For the second caller, I can't help but think of the mom from the 1976 film Carrie. "They're all gonna laugh at you." 🤭

@k4xxxminecrafter792 10 месяцев назад

Iris sounds like such a beautiful and wonderful person! Bless you and your family Iris. And all others too!!!

@mightymouse1005 4 месяца назад

Men who don't want to "help " with their own children or housework are the first to complain about not getting equal custody in a divorce. If you can't do equal care when your home then you don't need half custody

@RiverWoods111 3 месяца назад

The nurse needs to talk to her attorney and get financial protection because if he is a cop and she is a nurse she makes more money and Calif. courts will make her pay child support. On the other hand, I have a nephew who is blue line, and the judge let her do whatever she wanted because he didn't like cops and his wife was a nurse who cheated and committed contempt of court by moving out of county and had no consequence because my nephew as a cop. She needs to get a good attorney though!

@NICKELS181 10 месяцев назад

Dr John. You are awesome. Thanks for being who you are brother. The way you express and help people is like no other. 🔥

@therealsandraweise 7 месяцев назад

There is nothing I have seen on even show or in real life that would be worth being a single mom. Not one scenario worth it.

@emilysytpage 10 месяцев назад

I love the woman with the son. She had a feeling she handled things wrong but the kid was probably okay enough until whatever triggered this call. Shes like "uh oh. I think this ones on me. How do I fix it?" 😂

@datheamore6395 9 месяцев назад

Agreed. Iris is a good mom for seeing that she needed to reassess things.

@ashleenicole71 10 месяцев назад

Iris-- I relate. People that I've trusted ... broke it. Been dishonest even....about what broke the relationship. I have walls up. I want to try a knew church and try and be open to friendships... But it's hard... I needed to hear this.. We need more real therapist out there that can be harsh.

@glenysshelton8898 3 месяца назад

If your empty inside you need to rejig focus on the beautiful family you have created and financially that’s big praise yourself your kids are growing up right find something that makes you alive…….I was studying law at university got in an incident innocently and corrupt police charged me with something I didn’t do ……changed my perceptions of law and power forever but it gave me a drive to look into other avenues…….look into what gives you pleasure to give to something else you can

@kathleen460 6 месяцев назад

I needed this. I'm in a place now of grieving the life I wanted and wondering if I made the wrong decisions to end up where I'm at now.

@bluebunny5500 3 месяца назад

For the first call. So when a grown adult says “we got pregnant right away, not planned” ok you were rawdogging right? Yes you wanted to get pregnant! There are many ways to prevent pregnancy. You got pregnant because baby makes three!! I will never believe “it wasn’t planned” I prevented a pregnancy for 6 years! How because I didn’t want to get pregnant

@savanah1407 10 месяцев назад

So grateful for Veronica’s call

@skimama13 5 месяцев назад

My husband and I have had people over to our house only about 5 times in 30 plus years. We really don't have friends. We assume we need some but it's so hard. My husband likes so few people enough to hang out with them and it seems that when we do, we find things that are deal breakers and don't hang out with them anymore. We keep saying that we are going to make friends but never do.

@_FT_momming 5 месяцев назад

This episode has helped me more than 3 years of therapy. Thanks Dr JD!!

@cwalker6911 6 месяцев назад

Dang I didn’t expect John to say it like that and glad he did

@Mike_Cosentino 10 месяцев назад

Feeli feel for Steve. How can you reason with someone who you care about when they wish not to reason with you? I’ve tried to help so many times, been emotionally and financially supportive, but she’s just used me as a tool. Edit: my bday is on Monday and this call by Steve reminds me of when my own mother resisted therapy with both my father and I, but now that I’ve been estranged and no contact w/ her for yrs, NOW she wants to “move forward”. She had her chance for so many yrs, and I truly believe my mom is undiagnosed bipolar manic depressive.

@fire12731 10 месяцев назад

The bf is treating Veronica like a pos . Veronica will make a lucky man very happy one day. Now she’s 40 with a baby 😢 after investing everything into this relationship. Her heart is broken. At least the bf is a good dad but in a way he’s not bc he’s not a good example man what a d bag. Very sad for the children.

@bellamichelle6248 10 месяцев назад

Im only sad I didn’t find John years ago!!!!!!!!!!!! Holler Girl!!!

@coconutwater4531 10 месяцев назад

Maybe he should “figure out” how to use a condom.

@PepeCoinMania 10 месяцев назад

what about her

@coconutwater4531 10 месяцев назад

@@PepeCoinManiashe wanted a child, so she had a child.

@aprilwashington96 2 месяца назад

@@coconutwater4531So don’t complain when it’s time to pay child support. He had a choice to nut on….not in. Don’t CREATE no babies if YOU (the man) don’t want any. You know how babies ARE MADE.

@aprilwashington96 2 месяца назад

@@PepeCoinManiaWhat about her??? Did she buss sperm in herself???

@Livinlife33 10 месяцев назад

Iris I’m the same way about being shy to find friends

@kimmiekats22 10 месяцев назад

Nailed this entire episode, brother!!

@maryhirsch863 10 месяцев назад

Plus, his family is close with her right now. Till he gets married again, then they will be forced, to be close with the new wife. This is life and this is how it works. It’s unfortunate but true.

@codirennke1109 24 дня назад

Last call hit me hard. Im the child of a traumatized, depressed, anxious mother. I would give both my legs to habe a dad that was empathetic like the caller. All my dad ever did was fight about not being satisfied S e x u a l l y. It did untold damage on my mom and all 4 of us kids. Kudos to this man and his heart and efforts. ❤

@atdepaulis 10 месяцев назад

Make his time with your child when he has his other kids and move forward. When that kid is in school it might change.. not saying to give him what he wants.. but I am married to someone with 2 ex’s and it’s already crazy… but it also ensures the siblings get to spend time together

@stephanied9629 6 месяцев назад

Yes to when the man remarries and the new wife is resentful of the time and money being spent on the first child! Happens all of the time!!!!!

@rasmuskoorits3858 5 месяцев назад

Anonymize is a real thing and important to do it correctly so people can't figure out the identity regardless

@DaleRFetz 4 месяца назад

.She is being too nice. She needs to be angry. John's right: the guy lost his option to figure himself out when they had a son. He's done!!! Wake up ,sweet woman!

@Kathy-qu8zj 3 месяца назад

YES.. Narcissists always pray on the innocent and trusting empaths.. been there. You deserve better sweet heart..look up all you can on Narcissistic abuse.. especially the Covert Narcissist.. I found out far too late. Thank God for Google and RU-vid!!!!

@debralondon2402 Месяц назад

Great video! Thanks 😢for sharing

@alwaysyouramanda 2 месяца назад

Lost all hope at cop. Girl RUN. No contact

@deboraharies6983 3 месяца назад

Hallow my 🐈cat loves Dr. JOHN ! Everytime Dr John says his name Hallow! Hallow get's so excited!!! Ha!

@hansonallie 10 месяцев назад

W/ the tsunami of obesity-related illness coming, I think she’ll be just fine as a nurse!😅

@flashthecorgi2053 10 месяцев назад

I’m sure nursing will be still be around but one thing she may not take in account is the burnout you feel as a nurse. Some people have to quit after seeing trauma for years for their own mental sanity so John could be right that she may not have this awesome job when the kid is 18!

@hansonallie 10 месяцев назад

@@flashthecorgi2053- Ooh! Good point about the burnout!

@SageKayDee 10 месяцев назад

Anonymize is a word 😅. I double-checked.

@madamebuddaphlai636 10 месяцев назад

My brain wouldn't let me not check 🤣

@hummingbird4934 День назад

The last caller sounds like she has depression and struggles with connection. When she tells him she wants to leave it’s because she’s suffering a depressive episode hence why she’s better after having time on her own. As a fellow sufferer I’m not actually sure what the answer is other than being patient and waiting for her to pull herself out of it

@vanessapanek9959 7 месяцев назад

It means you can come at me with guns of blazing, but if I’m in a solid relationship, it means I’m not gonna cheat on you. I’m not gonna holler back at the guy that’s trying to hit on me.

@aprilwashington96 2 месяца назад

Watch Veronica gon be calling back crying because she’s pregnant with their second child…..just watch.

@tomnohmy1273 10 месяцев назад

Dr J is the man!

@Sandra8675SecondLife 3 месяца назад

'ain't no holla back girl'... means the dude connected with u or went out with u, etc... But, then the dude did not call the girl back. Hence, Gwen feelin the pain of the guy, 'not callin the girl back' and leavin the girl hangin as a result. Your welcome.

@GodessIsabelRaina 4 месяца назад

1st case. Lady is a looney tunes. She knew both of them❓️😳 We got prego immediately❓️lady, is too old not to know how to prevent pregnancy 🙄 Two tours and a cop❓️😨 he left because his wife had an affair❓️🤔 as a 20yr + soldier, i call ɓullshiiii_🙄 He will find his way back to you after galavanting and darkness/boredom sets in because she is the perfect doormat😳 Being a nurse means nothing. I'm a nurse too. Schiiii happens. No matter how great you are, someone is better and life happens, sickness/car accidents, etc

@caycatdoll987 10 месяцев назад

lol Iris is my type of chick. I’d love to be her friend, she sounds like a hoot

@greniaharbin4230 10 месяцев назад

Yes! Anonymize is a word. Who knew?

@maryjankowski9032 5 месяцев назад

He’s not a great guy to do what he did to you and your baby…

@Kathy-qu8zj 3 месяца назад

I think Gwen Stefani said a “No holla back girl” is a girl that’s too classy to accept a challenge from a bully that yells nasty 💩 at you. She was majorly bullied in school. Looks like she had the last laugh.. a class act all the way imo.

@js8665 2 месяца назад

Third caller - unsure of lady's age but could be hormonal. Perimenopause.

@Geewhizzy 22 дня назад

By the way it is John who has an' accent according tp the rest pf is who re not american . It adds color to the world 😊

@Jimjam482 3 месяца назад

She let him hit it raw, she had no second thoughts, now she’s a single mom, now she’s a single mom

@Bringon-dw8dx 3 месяца назад

I mean we don’t know that, pregnancies happen with birth control

@kashbash9645 5 месяцев назад

Holla Back girl is one that goes to the fight after school instead of just talking smack at her nemesis.

@debbiedimaggio-pw1ch 4 месяца назад

It is a crazy world but thank you for all you guys do 🎉

@skateata1 10 месяцев назад

I thought I would have a good life living in a cheap place in NC but the wages didn't cover my bills. I was so sad. I had to work two jobs and miss so many great events like birthdays and holidays. Thankfully I was able to get a job near my aunt and moved to a happier life. But the time I wasted of my 20s.....😔

@emmarose6590 10 месяцев назад

I don’t think John did a good job of addressing the second call, but the called didn’t articulate well either. It’s hard to find good friends and people and when you have morale standard you live by it’s hard to have deep friendships with people that may live a different lifestyle than you aka like party a lot, cuss, raise their kids with different morals. Look at how much our world is divided morally lately in politics! John jumped way too fast to accusing her of thinking she was better than people which I don’t appreciate him doing. That wasn’t fair to her and he wasn’t being honest or addressing how hard it is.

@John-du2mq 10 месяцев назад

He was asking her what her "moral standard was" she refused to clarify multiple times so he tried being specific and it wasn't out of malice. He was trying to articulate on her behalf to try and help her. Also, it's not your job or duty to judge other people as a Christian. That power lies with God alone. All you can do is be a good example and live a life according to the guide put fourth in the good book. Too many Christians fail miserably at the first part because they think themselves so righteous that they have the power to judge and they don't. Not supporting something you don't believe is a different story and walking away from certain things that you wouldn't personally do is different.

@dianagabriela3287 10 месяцев назад

I agree, the accent is lovely. I am wondering where its from..

@melaniecastillo9786 4 месяца назад

Her accent is beautiful! ( embrace it, girl)

@jacosisaba 10 месяцев назад

It's so sad hearing her apologize for her accent. That's what you get when people are rude and bigoted when they talk to someone with an accent. Americans act like it's bad just because they can't understand it.