How to Know if You Should Commit to Someone You're Dating 

It took me forever to realize the "butterflies" was really just a huge red flag. It was anxiety

I wish someone told me this earlier. Would've saved me from so much heartache!

Ask yourself,” Do I like the person I am when I am around my partner?” If not, RUN 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♂️ 🤗 😀

"How people make you feel when you're around them". Golden rules to live by in all aspects of life.

If there is only one dating/marrying advice that you need to hear, this is it!

Dammit, I wish I saw this video a year ago. I just ended things with someone who made me feel stressed and insecure constantly.

Dont choose the better person. Choose the person who MAKE you BETTER.

Unfortunately, no one can make me feel happy. Only I can do that. Staying away from people who make me miserable is ME making ME happy.

This is awesome. I have had so many guys made me sad anxious disrespected and insecure. I have finally met someone who makes me happy. They know how to make me feel respected, secure. happy. I've never met anyone who makes me this happy.

That is why I broke up and I loved her, just that she made me feel stressed constantly

Wow short and so deep 😮 How can they make me happy when they make me feel anxious and bad. Something I never asked or think of before.

If you make me wait for days on end for a message, to the point of question if I don't know if I want to continue this or not, what I feel is stress, anxiety, alone, sadness, and a feeling of incecurity.

Oh damn I stayed with someone for 3 years because of how much I liked them but they kept me insecure the whole damned time.. this makes me realise breaking up was for the best. Best advice ever!!

thank you. i haven’t heard from someone i’ve been seeing for almost 2 years now in almost 2 weeks. i’ve felt all of the feelings. and no. he is certainly not making me happy right now. thank you for switching my perspective

I love her more today then ever before. She makes me feel stress free and relaxed now that I left her 😊

He constantly made me question how he felt about me. He had all the words in the world to "love me" but his actions were full of neglect, emotional abuse and complete ignorance towards me. He outright denied his actions with his words trying to gaslight me and that's when I knew this guy is never gonna change

Thank you so much for this 😢 stress, anxiety, insecurity is exactly how I'm feeling right now... I lost all my confidence trying to win his heart

I was with someone who did all the things you listed as negative for 3.5 years, full of stress and I wanted to stick with it, she broke it off, did something I couldnt do for myself, now a month and a half of no contact, I lost the rose colored glasses and I am seeing all the red flags and how badly she treated me and how horrible she made me feel, would not go back to her, I deserve way better, but I really was completly blind to her faults and how she made me feel bad. Thanks Matthew for saving alot of people out in the world.

glad i found this at the right time hahah almost gave my heart away to a guy who’s constantly making me question his affection lol

How do you regulate urself after an amazing first date??? I get so head over heels when first dates go too well 😓

Get on board with this girls because it is definitely how a man makes You feel. It has nothing to do with anything else but How You feel being with Him!♥️

Omg! This is so true. I realized that too late. One man made me feel seen, safe and sexy during our first date, the other one during our 9 year relationships couldn't.

Beautiful advice. The only adjustment I would make when repeating this idea is not “how do they MAKE me feel”, but rather simply ‘how do I feel?’ Giving up control of your own emotions to others is generally what we are taught, and tend to repeat. Matthew is doing it here. But words hold meaning. The words we use when we talk to ourselves are very important. Use words that empower your freedom, your choice, your independence. No one can “make” me feel anything, I am the one choosing to respond in specific ways to the words I am hearing. I am the one who gives power to words. If I have a negative association with the phrase “I just need some space“, then anytime a partner of mine says, “I just need some space right now”, that might make me feel abandoned or afraid that they are rejecting me. This fear of abandonment is a belief I’m choosing to hold based upon past experience. The work that I can do in order to take back my own freedom is to uncover why those words trigger me, and find ways to heal myself of those past traumas. Doing this will give me freedom from those words and allow me to move through the world exactly how I choose. My goal is to do enough healing around my wounds that you can no longer “make me feel” or “make me do” anything. I choose to respond to any stimulus exactly how I wish. So ask yourself how do I feel when they ghost me for three days? how do I feel when they interact with me the way they do? how do I feel? All problems in our relationships basically boil down to one thing. SCARCITY. You know what you don’t want in a relationship. So anytime you meet someone who shows you the things you don’t want. Kindly thank them for spending time with you and tell them that you are looking for other things in a relationship, and leave. Most of us, however, are so scared that we won’t be able to find somebody, that there aren’t enough good partners to go around, that we allow ourselves, in our scarcity mindset, to endure relationships that simply don’t look like our ideal relationship. Scarcity is a lie. Much love to all of you. So much gratitude to Matthew for the content he puts out into the world and all the study and self reflection that goes into creating that content.

I know I made him stressed and pressured bc he didn't communicate lol. So I had to let him go.

So true!!! Helps understand why ultimately you end a relationship! The last guy I dated made me feel unwanted, lonely, stressed, anxious disrespected, devalued and insecure. Thanks Matthew!! ❤️ 💖 I now know he made me feel like shit which changed the way I felt about him and that's why it ended 🙏 🙏 🙏

Don't rely on someone to make you happy. You should already be happy & they can add to it.

Fantastic! Such a powerful message ❤ Thank you Matthew ❤ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow, it's that simple and yet I had to hear it like this for it to finally click. Wish I had heard this a long time ago.

Perfect . That is the way to look at the relationship .

That was a BIG “Mouth Full” of wisdom! My late husband always made me feel secure, loved and valued! Never questioned the relationship! Currently, I just left a 1 year relationship. Because, he always made me feel confused about the relationship, his indecisiveness and his selfish little ways forgetting to include me, caused me to Run without bending. Needless to say, he is now calling and texting. And, it’s super hard not to take the easy route and go back! Because, we shared a ton of creative hobbies, connection and strong feelings for each other. But, he always made me feel sad and confused after spending the day with him and going home!

This is so perfect for me. I’ve been struggling for a long time and this has never accrued to me. I’m so grateful for this.

Well I was taught along time ago that nobody else can make me feel anyway. If I'm feeling a certain way it comes from within. Ex if your with someone and they have been disrespectful to you, you can be made at this person for staying. That's called learned behaviour. That person disrespected you and you allowed it to happen. Learnt behaviour. You could only be mad at yourself after that for staying. Same thing with not returning text messages. If they don't return a text and you choose to stay, your teaching that person its OK. Its your conscience choice to stay or not.

I've learned, the way that I feel about myself has to be bigger than how someone else feels and makes me feel. Then I check on how someone else makes me feel, and if it gets to be lower than the stability I have already gained, then they'll have to go. All individuals have to work on their own happiness.

Sadly this was my last relationship, but I know better now!

This video made me break down because I really like her, but she does NOT make me feel secure. I constantly question and feel anxious. Im so sad and haven’t felt this way in so long, but I can’t imagine trying to part ways with her. It’s hard enough as it is now

Amen brother...that's why I leave it all in Gods hands because God will always reveal da truth & he will never leave us nor forsake us!!!

This is Epic, Matt We were raised as humanity to feel about ourselves that we are not good enough to be happy, and feel, and love, and look into ourselves, honor ourselves, saying this is what l want, l am deserving of love and respect. And never compromise our happiness for the acting the relationships, faking our own lives, wasting years and our precious souls for the sake of being together, while at the same time we are lonelier, sad as we can be for not being seen as what we truly are. Only because of the shame that we are not good enough. And we are. We are here. That is the only proof that we are worthy. We are unique and brilliant. Love yourselves first. This is the starting point for a true partnership, honoring yourself and knowing what you want, define your match ❤️

Thank you for helping me realize I'm wasting time waiting.

I was with someone for 7 years, we grew very close, we were very open with each other and it was a truly judgement free zone. I had to end things because I felt drained to be with them and like my needs couldn't be met. I have problems of my own too. Been an experience

Thank you for changing my life's perception.. Am currently in the exact same situation your talking about and it is making things clearer for me😪...

That is one of the best dating advices I have ever heard.

Thank you. That’s exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve searched this subject so many times and they’re all basically the same. Thank you

No one can make you happy. Happiness comes from within, working on oneself.

This is why I'm happier being alone and away from that person. No, I'm afraid that person can't make me happy, so I choose not to commit. They never committed to me in the first place, so there really is no point on my part in doing so. The growing absence of that person in my mind has led me to less stress, no anxiety, no backpains. I am a happy camper these days! Handsome, accomplished, smart, whitty...but unfortunately, makes me feel like crap and adds way too much drama to my life. He made me hate mayself, but I am learning to love myself again. Guess some things aren't just meant to be and I'm fine with that.

Wish I knew this earlier instead I stuck around just to get more heartbroken

This just validated what I’ve been telling the man I was with. I told him this and I was told “that’s not my job to make you feel secure and happy in the relationship”.

Holy shit. That did not make sense at first, but as he was going on, it hit me-- I've lived this before. I was with a guy for almost seven years-- we were engaged for the last year and a half-- and in some ways he was a great guy, very loving man, never laid a hand on me like, in an abusive way, he was supportive. . . but I was ALMOST ALWAYS anxious around him. I almost always worried that I wasn't enough. It always took a lot to calm me down when I was around him. It was like everything in me was telling me to run and I just didn't listen for years on end.

Wow... feeling disrespected, sadness, alone, insecurity, sometimes waiting for days for his response to my text, constantly wondering if he likes me. He is charming, confident, sexy, impressive, has a fun personality, etc. Thanks Matt! Excellent advice,

I wish I would have found Matthew's videos a year ago. This clip is all I needed to hear, would of saved me from 8 months of. Misery.

Wow!!!! I needed this! I’ve tried to end a relationship three times and I fall apart and let him back in. But he makes me miserable.

Such valuable advice! Simple and effective. Thank you, Matthew!

Forwarded to a friend that FINALLY confronted the truth about a guy she really liked, and she was very grateful :) Spot on.

This hits me pretty deep right now. I may not like what it means, but I really needed to hear that very sound advice. Thank you. Now I just need to do the hard part. 🥺

I woke up to this auto playing this morning after praying for guidance 🙏 message received.

Gosh, this is the most essential thing we need to know about relations. That's what parents have to teach their children. They'd rather teach this in school then anything else at all. Gosh I'm just so so shocked. It's so damn simple. I can not thank enough to Matthew for what he does.

Matthew this is the tea I needed to hear. You are on point I have never looked at it like that. He makes me feel crazy, no affection and sadness.

This is gold and remembered never have high expectations for others just for yourself and always do your best. 💖💐

💯 lessons learned in past relationships and healing past traumas made me realize how important this was. I had to write down my thoughts and feelings when I initially met the person and then after to realize how my feelings changed and acknowledge what they did to make me feel insecure, confused anxiety. That’s when I realized I had to follow my gut to end it right there.

DAMN…….. That’s exactly my story. I was so confused until now but now i see it the other way round.

I wish I found his videos sooner. It would have saved me from all the situationships I let drag on for too long

But we realize that this goes both ways, in order for a person to want to commit to you, you have to make them feel happy as well. Now this is work! 😉

She’s so worth it. My ex boyfriend made me feel the secondary way, but, SHE’S worth it.

It goes both ways I think ..how they cause u to feel definitely yes & how u also feel about them ..& it's not if they "make" you happy but if they "add" happiness to your life... We already need to be internally joyful.

Holy shit this dude hit every single thing in regards of the girl im dating atm, holy fuck

This is the best answer to all the question, of all coachings I’ve watched

Although external influences can impact our emotions, entrusting others with the responsibility of making us happy means surrendering our autonomy to shape our thoughts, feelings, and actions❤❤❤

Happiness is the game... brilliant 👏

This really does change so many things. Always remember this advice it really does work.

And when someone does that to you long enough you will lose yourself trying to love them.

1000% Truth spoken here. Ooooh the lessons we learn in life the ticket is learn them soon.

Noone can make you happy...you have to create your own happiness. Fact 😊 👍🏾

Understanding that was a game changer because it brought clarity and then I knew what I had to do. Pay attention how it makes you feel.

Can I have an AMEN!! 💖

I think this is a complicated message to get out. I don't put my happiness in someone else's hands; but when someone else comes into my life, they shouldn't destroy what is there.

You are right man ! It’s not how you feel but It’s very important that how he make You feel Happy by taking to him

I'm glad I found these videos of Matthew years ago. I've been sharing them with friends (and lovers) and most of them couldn't comprehend even the simplest ideas because of bias and a mindset I couldn't begin to comprehend.

I like how he doesn't give a "mold" for what to look for, he doesn't say "this is the ultimate type of person". He focuses on compatibility ,period.

For sure. Freedom is in DOing this! And REMEMER this. THIS is "Bingo!"

Just opened my eyes big time. Thank you

Exactly! This have always been point to know of I should stay or leave and I've never regretted!😘😍

I wish this video was around years ago. It would have saved me from a lot of heartache, but I am thankful that I saw it today.

This is exactly what I've been struggling with since last year. It's killing me :(

That right! You are speaking truth! I love it!

Thank you Matt

That is correct! A total evaluation of a good lover, is based on all about him & how he treats you! Pick & choose the man, who treats you like you are his own breath! You are someone, that he totally care for & doesnt ever want to be without!

This is what I need to hear.Thank you Matthew.

Really needed this reminder today, thank you.

I agree to a point, but a lot of us have issues usually from childhood that are triggered by our partner, through no fault of there own, that caused us to be emotional and these need to be worked through by ourselves or with a therapist.

Third week into it all the signs were there, but I hung on hoping the duration would improve things. It just worsened and there was less and less. It is time to let go and I’m trying to find the courage to do that.

Thank you for this GAMECHANGER & EYEOPENER !!!

I was on my way to finally meet people but then stupid covid and stupid lockdowns and stupid restrictions made so difficult for me . But I keep getting notices that other people including a cousin are finding love and getting married, so everyone but me is happy ever after 😤😬😡🤬

Right on! Im not going back..I'm feeling anxiety stressed sadness and insecure. Ty for confirmation.

THANK YOU MATTHEW TO GUIDE US BETWEEN WHAT TRULY MATTERS IN LIFE

He keeps talking about someone else making me happy. This is bunk! The truth is, I need to learn to be happy daily for myself. Then I can be happy with someone else who can be happy.

I just ended things with someone im really into today because i felt like he'staking me for granted. I still like him a lot and it hurts like hell ending what we have.

Wow brain needs this hammering🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dropping truth bombs in understanding how we should FEEL!👏🏻

You are so right!!

This is so right but we all have stuff that we have to work through and it's only when we worked through out own insecurities etc that we can detach and say to ourselves if I vM give anything I want to myself and not to look to another person for that . Once u are in that space u can rejet accordingly so the person that treats you well u can then commit to and feel ur making a good decision

This hits hard. True facts.