I’ve spent 6 months on a healing journey from the absolute worst heartbreak I ever experienced. This video is the best I’ve seen to describe me during that relationship. Thank you for what you do Matthew.

Hey matthew! i enjoyed this video very much. something that i have been thinking about is the scarcity mindset... its definitely something that takes over my thoughts alot since its all i have ever known. it would be lovely if you could make a video about ways or steps you can slowly take to overcome it or atleast be more aware of it in everyday life

Yeah I am definitely anxious fawner... Damn...

My ex brought me in the middle of the road when I expressed my anger at him. It triggered my fawn reaction because I'm scared of him becoming destructive and possibly bring me somewhere unsafe again. I'm still recovering from trauma despite being out of the relationship for 10 months. Matthew's advice and his book that I'm still in the process of reading has helped me a lot.

After a lot of growth in my mindset, finally let myself be vulnerable to someone to someone who said she really valued communication, boundaries and consistency. Had a great gut feeling I didnt have in years, then she ended it out of nowhere. Time to rest, recover, therapise and realise life goes on - better things ahead.

Come on ! We are not eternal… billions of people out tente, move on. Detach , let go with grace and move on. You will get there. Be happy alone , love yourself and keep giving love around. Just let go. They are not part of your destiny.

I am still waiting for your book to get delivered, it got delayed from Amazon 😟. I am really excited to read it and use the most of it. Besides I do have a story to tell , I told my partner about my requirements (after talking for a entire year) what I want from him. It was a bummer he said I am a hard work 😂😂. I laughed and didn’t mind cause I know I’ve my standards and values. And without making any effort it’s not easy to have me so I broke up. I am just enjoying my ME time 😊😊

It's so difficult for people who have suffered trauma to express how they feel and set boundaries... one has to hope you meet a person who has kindness and no one toxic... then we can grow again... steady away.....

I'm just coming out of this dynamic I've waisted years chasing that person. I've had to go no contact and I'm beginning to see, learn and heal 😊

<3

Thank you Matthew. So succinctly put. I see my previous and current traits. Feeling aware and healed and your messages are helping me stay on track. Thank you.

💜📚💜

I really enjoyed learning this in the last free live training session that you did so thank you for doing this so that I can share it with my friends

Anyone else who communicated their needs to someone "rare" they really liked, ended up getting dropped and is now puzzled whether it was just not the right person or if it was too early? ✌️

Loved your book!! ❤ love this whole concept of coming from a scarcity mindset. Thanks for the new newsletter, just signed up for it. You’re amazing! Blessings and thanks again

This video came at an appropriate time for me! I'm hitting this stage right now, but this time I'm more aware and have been telling him as well to take things slow and not overlook things in me too because of wearing rose colored glasses

Just stay away from avoidants! They do make themselves known early on. It’s not worth it

That is also a men thing. I can relate to that. I am giving too much, while receiving a lot less. Eventually it ends up with the womans just pulling away and losing interest. That is what has happened to me lately... Matthew, I am feeling sooo good reading your new book. Watched your youtube videos so many times, that I literally hear your voice in my head while reading it, so no need for an audio version of this book 😆 Surprised how you are open with the reader, by telling stories from your private life. Ton of great content in this book so far, love it! ❤

Is the solution to anxious fawning to detach?

I can definitely relate to this pattern. Thank you for explaining these behaviors in a way that’s easy to understand myself better and encouraging healthy boundaries

Good morning! 💛🧡

Thank you for what you do Matthew. I find your work transcends the relationship realm and helps a lot in terms of personal growth. A scarcity mindset is so damaging in so many different parts of life something I'm learning in my sobriety journey. You've been a warm voice in my ear for a while now, so thank you ❤

Now, the point is after being in such relationships and deciding to build a non-attached mindset.....Is it wrong as we are building a wall to make it harder for others to reach us or healthy as we train ourselves not to be too attached to be hurt and manipulated?

Thank you. This is what I need the most, facing my DA partner who keeps me confused even when he already moved in to my city.

Yep that is me 1000% ugh.

This is awesome! Luv to learn more

The pain is too much to try and deal with. So we bury it.

hello matthew, After so many years, my boyfriend unexpectedly left me. Everything was fine in the morning and then after work the decision was made with ridiculous reasons. We live together and he is currently with his parents. I'm now looking for my own apartment. There will be a lot to clarify in the next few weeks regarding moving out and finances. For example, at the end of the month I have to remind him to pay the rent and what the amount will be after some common costs are eliminated. I'll be honest, I don't know how to react, speak, write or how best to approach it without losing my composure and dignity. can you tell me what the steps are here? I'm totally overwhelmed by the situation

This is great advice. It’s definitely an added challenge when you’re gay, because most people are straight. And as a lesbian I never want to make someone uncomfortable, but it’s important to be brave and not make assumptions.

Sounds like me!!!

this.

I am afraid to loose him... whenever i see his picture i remember all the chats , text everything...if he leaves me idk what will happen to me ...i gave him my everything so why 😭 i loved him from my heart n mind but why 😭

It‘s funny to see all this women they don’t know why men ignore them😂

What if it's just casual which refused to get serious and he doesn't know I'm in no contact

Amazing and true

Very, very important message for those who have been left by someone they loved. If they left you...they were not the one for you.

No time for YOU! Lots of TIME for someone else.

I didn’t grow up with neglecting parents or dying for attention or chasing.. I don’t understand how I get entangled with emotionally immature or unavailable guys. I definitely haven’t had boundaries or listened to them SAY their red flags early on, that part is for sure on me for sticking around for 6+ months and then something switches. I attract the instant love bombers.. who also don’t see who I really am. 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

Just study astrology. The reason why she approached him is becsuse she has a stronger madvuline energy in her. He has more feminine. Some key planet in Cancer in his natal chart for sure. Cowardish a bit, typically attracts brave women with a strong Mars. If you people studied astrological compatibility, half of Matthew's vidros would be unnecessary and irrelevant cause you cannot attract others based on how he teaches but rather based on how your chart is set up to begin with. All these info gurus lack key esoteric knowledge.

I hated it. After a couple of months he ghosted me and I let him trail.away. Don't miss anything!!

I cried and cried... Thank you. I needed to cry actually because as a single mom of 55 i tend to hold every pain inside. it's difficult to still believe it can happen for women my age but... Life is beautiful Thank you Mathew and Angela ❤ Much Love from Italy

6:03 obviously in some ways this is a good corrective to the folly of unconditional relationships and unconditional intimacy, however at 6:03 he goes too far and perhaps reflects a lack of human experience or maturity "Every day you know on some level that person is contributing to your life... And the moment that's not true and that person isn't making you happy then I think we're in a prison...". Thousands of long-married couples would disagree with you on this point. A person with advanced dementia or severe stroke or other problem might be totally unable to contribute to the relationship - yet their spouse will often still unconditionally love them. You are essentially saying a committed husband or wife in this difficult situation is a fool for continuing to care without getting love in return. Such thinking leads ultimately to the idea that "If I can't make someone happy then I don't deserve to live"

Bravoo, let's always do something. Take positive, intuitive, or different action. 💪

I dated someone for just one month, we connected so much, he was incredible. I felt like I’d found my person. I feel everything this video talks about. He ended it with barely an explanation. Just nothing overnight. It really does feel like a bereavement which sounds ridiculous after a month. I’m still heartbroken months later but this video really helps as I can’t talk to anyone, feel like a fraud as it was such a short amount of time.

Be ghosted after dating a man only three weeks was more painful than a breakup after a four year relationship or even divorce. It is not conceivable to have had someone pursuing me. Courting me. Laughing. Bonding. Cooked for me. Then…. Poof! I did not chase. But he knows I work w the elderly and special needs for a living and that I am a musician and performer - a HIGHLY SENSITIVE, empathetic person. How? I did not meet on dating app. Never been on one and never will. 😢 I do recall on one of our first dates~ he told me about a “guy he knew” who would date women on dating apps and as soon as it got to the point of a possible relationship- he ghosted her and went on to the next. He also knew I hadn’t even dated in five years after literally escaping a traumatic relationship w nothing buy my cat and a purse and w nowhere to go. I work and take care of myself. Never used men and never would. Even my cat looks for a cat I may have fostered a couple weeks. Ghosting was a shock. To seek a person’s affection and trust only to disappear with NO EXPLANATION is unnatural, traumatizing, cruel and a clear form of abuse. A game used by cowards to entertain themselves instead of facing their own traumas that left them w such anger, fear, pain and hatred in the first place

i broke up with him a few months ago but i miss him, and we never fully stopped talking to each other. i found out that he had been pretty much dating a girl throughout those months after the break up. and he lied to me about it, never told me they were hanging out even though we talked every day. he broke it off with her because he realized he wasn't ever over me. now im in a place where i dont know if it would be stupid to entertain the idea of getting back with him in the future because i am so hurt that he moved on fast and lied about it. but he is also very clear that he would take me back in a heartbeat and he truly hasn't lost feelings. i also haven't lost feelings, and we both can't leave each other alone. i have to decide if that whole ordeal is too big of an obstacle to overlook or if i need to mentally forgive him because hes single and its not like he cheated. i just feel like if we are really supposed to end up together, he should have never even caught feelings for another girl. i feel like his claims that he loves me more than anything are false. i am stuck. i would love advice or help please.

I wish I had time to explain the hours I gave seconds too when that ideal situation or person already died. I made a ghost responsible for my feelings and that's I stabbed myself alive

I met mine in person after traveling abroad and we spent time together person. We got to know each other more as we stayed in touch online and they were very attentive. So I've been back their several times and we've spent a lot of time together every time I go. And after my visit we plan a new one in a few months. Until they can come move where I live, which they are in the process of applying for the paperwork, then we are like this. I would say if a person doesnt make plans and isn't clear, it would just not be a relationship because the onlybreason I feel long distance is ok is because you are waiting to close the distance soon. Because real life is the goal.

Women annoy me when they spout this bullsit of attracting negative people. This woman is a good looking with lots of sex appeal, I suspect she is like most women a born Carousel rider. She is still young, not yet ready to change. If you attract negative people but you were not attracted to them, nothing would happen. Women not taking accountability for their actions is a real problem because I suspect this is the real reason why many couples cannot solve their problems.

“Anger is a body guard for pain” wow … I’m just realizing this is true in my life 😢 I’ve had a lot of loss over the years, so this makes sense