How to Know When a Friendship Is Not Worth Keeping 

I had a best friend that I grew up with. We were best friends for almost 20 years. Then she got married and her interactions with me ceased. I wasn't even asked to be a bridesmaid. I don't talk with her anymore. I now have 2 friends who are treasures to me. And we haven't known each other that long.

I just wanted to say thank you for making this video. I was contemplating whether I should save this friendship or not and this video helped me decide. I just recently cut that one friend from my life. I've come to a realization that....I was never really her friend to begin with. I was only her therapist and the ears to listen to her. I'm the only one who always listen to her, cheering her on and challenging this friend to be her best self. She very rarely did the same for me, while I am like a tree that keeps giving. She was using me this entire time. It's been mentally and physically draining for a very long time. I couldn't take it anymore, I tried to end things on a good note and this friend lashing out at me, gaslighting and all kind of emotional manipulation--all so she can have control. With no regards to my feeling or struggle, so I finally decide let her go. To let myself go free. I'm not proud of what I did and I hope I won't have to do that ever again. Part of me feel bad, but in my heart, I know I've made the right call. Especially when I heard she label every former friends as "liars and traitors". Seeing the lack of self reflection and willingness to take accountability reaffirm my decision. Though, I hope she will realize her errors and learn to be better, as I hope she can find a friend who's compatible with her. I moved on in our my own way. Never look back again. People would say about the price you have to pay for ending a friendship. I don't think enough people is asking similar question that you ask, sir "What price you are paying for holding onto it" Sometimes true strength isn't to hold on but to let go. Thank you again

Sometimes avoiding to spend time with a friend is being friends while there happens to be way too many saboteurs of that friendship around at the time.

Such awesome advice! It took me years to figure this out, painfully, both with friends and family. I wish I had a good friend or parent or trusted advisor who would have explained it to me like this guy does. Good going!

As @LittleMan5s said - I am just their therapist, and more than once, w/ 2 friends very serious abuse issues in their lives I could not turn a blind eye to, and they know I am a mandated reporter, and they each expect me to, even after they are reminded. One was horrific verbal abuse towards their elder mother who is diagnosed with Alzheimer Dementia. The other, a father w/ a 12 year old son who needs serious intervention, and is a threat to others due to a lot of past abuse from the mom. I am told I "am too sensitive," and then observe double standard, after double standard. When I offer help, referrals, and other assistance extended from contacts I have, those are ignored too. I don't like how I feel after interacting with them - I eventually get a text or VM from either as if nothing ever happened...Well, something did...I walked away, worn out.

I had to finally end a 20 year friendship. This friend made me question the meaning of friendships. They kept asking for money and always made me feel like I was intruding if I asked them to clarify what was wrong. They only thanked me after I sent them money or bought them a gift. They didn’t pick up my calls and just made me feel one sided. Was I that lonely that I needed them to be a friend? I have other friends and it’s much healthier.

Yea it's true the snakes are in my own backyard. Some of these people really know how to put on a friendly mask. This particular individual would verbally say he would be a wingman and he introduced me to a girl from his circle. We three planned to go out for a trail walk one day and what does this dude do? Hold hands with the girl all the way,, man such a fuckin snake. These type of people also tend to be hot and cold, only coming in when it's convenient for them or when they realise you are up to something that's good for you. Keep your eyes wide open people and learn to see their true intentions by their actions

What if there is nothing at all? Not good, not bad, nothing. No feedback, no content.

I think you are a very wise gentleman, thank you for making this video.

Thank you sir! We may not know each other but you truly gave me some life lessons regarding friendships, I am very much happy to come across your channel!

I watch a lot of Aphmau videos on SMP where her friends are examples of toxic friends. They always disregard and invalidate her feelings, “your overreacting your being dramatic your acting crazy” they also betray her and break her trust numerous times and there very mean to her and always trying to harm her and tear her down

Great Vid, very to the point and clear. As I get older, I find that it's actually really hard to find truly supportive people. Any tips on how to make friends as more middle aged guy who's married? I find friends I make surfing or doing activities like that often share my interests but not values. Thanks!