How to Learn to Love Oneself More 

If you enjoy our films and want a say on what we make in the future you can now become a channel member and vote on future films here: ru-vid.com/show-UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBogjoin

In a society that benifit from your self doubt and insecurities, being comfortable in your own skin is the most valuable asset one can have.

Love yourself like you're your own child, that's the rule of my self love

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” ― Sharon Salzberg

This literally couldn't have been better timed.

Considering how we spend 100% of our lives in our own company, it only makes sense to treat yourself as you would a best friend.

We think we will begin to love ourselves 'When' we do things right but actually we begin to do things right 'When' we love and forgive ourselves more. Thanks School of Life, you enlighten us more than our actual schools ever did♥️🙏

For me, I learned to love myself more when I realized that I don't need to be perfect, or anywhere close to perfection, to deserve to live. It also came from a fear of becoming arrogant; I've always hated arrogant people who can't admit they've messed up. However, in that fear, I became the opposite: somebody who could never admit they did something good. You don't have to be better than The Beatles or Beethoven to write a song worth listening to. Most people don't think worse of you if you give them a cake, but somebody else gives them a better cake; they're just happy to get two cakes. It's OK if you still naturally want to beat yourself up. I just hope you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that you don't have to, and you'll certainly be a better person if you don't.

"Telling someone mired in self-hatred to 'cheer up' or 'like themselves a bit more' is going to be as impatient as telling someone from England to 'just speak Bulgarian'." Very well said, ♥ from a Bulgarian! Обичам ви! :D

"Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." --William Shakespeare

There is a psychological condition called : Learned helplessness. It was from a cruel experiment by attached a dog that was tied up with a rope to a pillar, than electrocute it once in a while. At first the dog would scream and try to run away when it was electrocuted, but because it was tied up by a rope attached to the pillar it unable to. until when it was electrocuted for many many times, the scientist released the rope and electrocute it again, it just screaming on the place but it didn't run away. It is called Learned helplessness. The problem with learned helplessness when applying on people is, when too many people keep telling you that you are the problem that everyone don't liked you, you will start to believe it, even undoubtedly.

I have a similar one “When speaking to yourself, do so, as if you were speaking to your past self, *as a child.* ”

I grew up hearing and seeing my mom’s insecurity and self-hate. I remember she’d use a shirt to cover up at the pool and I would do the same thing as a young child because I thought if I wasn’t perfect then I can’t be showing myself. I also developed a horrible view on men because of things she’d share with me. It’s really sad because my mom never deprived me of love or affection, but she still ended up passing onto me her self-hate and bitterness. It just goes to show how careful we must be with how we speak and act around our children. We might think we’re not doing anything to harm them, but we are.

I realized this recently, that my major problem is life is that I didn’t love myself. I spent decades not knowing I didn’t love myself. My fathers abuse and hateful speech to me as a kid became my inner voice and it took me time to realize that and start to try to change it! I also make sure how I speak to my child is a way that would be good for her inner voice as an adult.

"When there's no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you" - i don't remember where I heard that

I am trying to really love myself and stand up to people who say otherwise and negatively.

I sincerely hope everyone reading this comment is having a good day and at peace with themselves. Don’t forget to smile today and every other day. Life is a gift that should not be taken for granted xxx

"In order to defend one's external foe, one has to be on one's own side" This is poweful 💎

It has been over twenty years since I 'discovered' the source cause of my own negative beliefs and dysfunctions. They became embedded in my mind...and are indelibly a part of me. Using every tool available, I have been able to partially reconstruct my once positive mindset. The damaged child that I left behind long ago has now found his proper place within my being. Even a partially healed adult mind can offer new insight and relief to a once forlorn inner child. Every word of this video resonates with me. The first step toward healing is to bravely ask ourselves...our inner child...how we feel about ourselves. How our inner child feels about itself is the key to begin to understand and correct a self-hatred mindset.

This: "Identifying with the aggressor" and told it's a form of love initiating new waves of self harm.

4:19 Almost similar to my frequent thought : "They can't hurt me more than I hurt myself". For selfless people, self-love is hard. Most of the time, we don't even know what is self-love and how.

Treating myself like I would a good friend or loved one has been the best mindset to have for self love 💕

Self love and self acceptance are essential to a happy, peaceful life. We might not be perfect, but we are enough ♥️

The ultimate answer for every question is LOVE . 🌻

Compassion is an art, and giving it to someone becomes more than that 💝

Every soul, young and old, could benefit from this. People who were and, in fact, felt loved as children can not fathom the shame and insecurities of a fellow human being who never experienced unconditional love, care, and nurturing.

A huge thank you to the people who have ever worked on this channel. The content is priceless.

School of Life is like my personal therapist to help me fighting with my depression because I can't afford to pay for a therapist

I have severe depression and body dysmorphia..i just kinda want to listen to this everyday

Feeling this, I always feel totally worthless as bullying and abuse was everywhere, school, outdoors, in the household, I'd have to just put my head down and put up with it, as time passed little changed, harrassment and exploitation happened at every work place. I'm always greatful for videos like this, I'd like to have discovered them earlier yet the timing is perfect as I'm uneasy about returning to work.

Sending energy to love yourself from my psyche. Love each other, love yourself, live for you.

Very relevant to me as the lack of self love is at the core of my emotional problems.

My mental health was spiralling the past few months but I’m now back on track and I find watching videos from this channel helps a lot, I don’t rely on them fully but it’s just interesting and puts a lot of things into perspective. I can’t thank this channel enough ❤️

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but regardless of your past, you CAN be happy. You can do this, you can heal. ❤️

Не знам какво ме кара да мисля така, но подозирам, че човека, който седи зад невероятния сценарий на това видео има нещо общо с родината. Благодарна съм всеки ден за труда, който влагате във тези невероятно направени видеа и смело мога да заявя, че благодарение на тях се намирам на едно по-добро място. И не само аз, но и приятелите ми, на които (вече) знам как да помогна. I can't really express my gratitude towards the people who continue to put so much effort behind every single video. It made me grow as a person (maybe it did not help my humbleness in particular as I, as soon hearing my mother's language decided to post a comment showcasing my ability to speak both languages). Nevertheless Im able to understand the great importance of mental health and understanding just a little more about one's feelings.❤

You have changed my life for the better, Alain de Botton and staff at School of Life. Thank you for contributing to the world in this way 💗

" In order to be able to defend oneself against an external foe, one has to be on one's own side" - The School of Life. Lesson learnt after living 26 years on this earth (which is all of my life), but nothing is too late ❣🌻

This channel has singlehandedly led me to the truth; discovering that my childhood is, in fact, a bad one, marred by horrible parenting from manipulative, abusive, passive-aggressive caregivers. I have always thought, and was trained to think, that everything that went wrong in my life can be blamed back to one and only one thing: myself. So great was their manipulation that I have viewed these deviations as a sign of normalcy. I couldn't have been more wrong. Funny enough, they tried to pull one on me just recently. I found out that I failed some of my classes. These classes were those that put a lot of grading on group work, and due to an administrative error in my campus, I was only registered as a student in my classes in the third week, leaving myself grouped with the leftovers and the near-dropouts. I pulled my own weight as much as I can, following foolproof study practices, time management strategies and communication tricks from from people like Thomas Frank and Charlie Houpert. Yet I still failed, and what did my parents have to say about that? "Introspect your self, I don't want to hear about other people, the problem must be in you." And for the first time, I stood up for myself. I refuted their weak arguments. I asserted my position, backed with my proof of work. Defeated, they defaulted to the old passive-aggressive schtick: "How should I know? I wasn't there in your dorm. I don't care, but you must to think yourself." I swear, I'm gonna leave these toxic people behind for life, who gives a damn about filial piety.

*By knowing that you have this ONE LIFE!* 🙏

your videos have helped me so much , every time i feel like i’m in a really dark place i just come here and watch some of your videos. you guys helped me how to think and how to understand myself and others better i used and might still have some suicidal thoughts but they’re becoming less by time. Thank you very much for putting so much efforts to make these incredible videos the guy’s voice, the animations everything is so well made.

I was subjected to bullying throughout my working life, starting from the architecture faculty, where there was a brutal competition. That's why I got a terminal illness. I finally had liver transplant surgery. I retired due to disability. Now I'm fine. But I constantly think about those bad times. Why are people so bad? Or was I wrong?..

I used to believe, what I needed to heal, sounded too simple, but simplicity was the key. Simply loving myself; letting in: Joy, Love, self acceptance, empathy for others. 'Snap', and I'm there.

It's definitely nice to get appreciation but the reality is that in life, you don't choose what happens to you, but rather, only how you react to it. We should be taught not just to avoid the worst circumstances but also how to deal with them if they do occur. But other than that, it was definitely a great video and pretty eye-opening

This is true for those of us who grew up with parents who fought eachother all the time and who self loathed. My mom said nice words to me but mean words about herself. The mean words stuck more than the nice ones

Thank u so much for making it.. I am 15 and I was at the edge of my life for such things and now I know what truly happened..

This guy's voice is the only one that doesn't piss me off. Thanks school of life.

4:30 I don't agree. Because not everyone can rely on other people to say good about themselves. Not everyone has good and wise people around them, and the thought, 'why I don't have good friends/family' can make you even more sad and angry. Therefore we have to build up our own mind filter to judge ourselves.

I do have issues with my self esteem. Your comments on how we are shaped by our early intervention. As an infant who spent the first eighteen months in hospital and an infant hospice, I know where my negative thoughts of myself where formulated. Stroke of a pen, my father gave me up and my mother was too sick to look after. A good start. Yes I have made it to my sixties, with a lot of luggage, but I was lucky enough to have good adoptive parents and have had a reasonable life. But the cloud of 'unworthy' follows not too far behind. I don't do drugs, smoke anything, I have TRIED all my life to 'not let others have to go through what I did'(thanks dad), with some success, but I can't dissolve that cloud following me.

"It's easy to laugh it's easy to hate. It takes strength to be gentle and kind" - The Smith (I know it's over)

I have been unloved by others, including my family members, for such a long time. Loving myself is even harder than dating. I just wanted to be loved.

Unlike the cliches I heard about self- love in the past, this message is so deep and insighful that it brought tears to my eyes.

I don’t really hate myself, I’m just often angry at myself for not living up to God’s standards because I just don’t wanna change

Just wanted to share that when I came out of an emotionally empty friendship with two people, they told me that I never deserved whatever affection and care they showed me. I just kept reminded that throughout this video.

I still have no idea what you want me to do.

I recently started living by loving myself as I would others. Putting that importance on me and how I would want my loved ones to be.

Long time bulgarian fan, here! That 'Just speak bulgarian' hit me like a brick :D Nice one!

This is so true, love really is the only solution. I've told my self and have been told all those horrible words shown here and moreand I've grown to believe it based on my mistakes. Mistakes which I cannot erase which have hurt the people closest to me and even though I know them it's become a vicious cycle which I hate but cannot end. And this makes me feel hatred towards myself. It really is hard to explain where this came from and how I ended up like this. But I'm tired of hating. This video make me be more self conscious. I wish everyone luck.

Self love my liege is not so vile a sin as self neglecting William Shakespeare

As a visual learner I appreciate your detailed and fun illustrations

The bulgarian part literally jumpscared me... I'm a bulgarian and I thought I started hearing things, as if my problems aren't enough 😂 But great video, I'm feeling a bit better now. I know what I should work on, can I do that by myself, I don't know. Good luck to all ❤

well i finally understand why it's so hard for people to put me down, i absolutely love my self. im single but in no rush to find someone , i've been working on my self for quite a long time and im only now at 23 seeing my hard work pay off. im aware of my faults and always own up to it when i can and if i can't... well than all i can do is apologies lol. accepting the bad and good and continuing to grow is quite difficult and destroys your ego sometimes but it's all worth it cause now everyone also adores me.

Losing my mother almost a month ago has taken a toll on me. It seems I fear everything. Afraid of getting sick, afraid of losing loved ones, afraid of dying. My health is being affected, I couldn't even find a job. I feel so hopeless and lonely...but for the record I'm not depress. Just sad and disappointed on how my life is going.

I love how he nonchalantly adds, "and a piece of a shit." lol

As a young boy, I grew up physical weakness, constantly I’ll, extreme underweight as well as ADHD… ! Being raised with a very strict conservative parents and off course in a very strict school…, I was totally shamed, bullied, punished and abused physically, mentally and psychologically by everyone around me in the most brutal ways , from parents to teachers to friends to colleagues to almost everyone around me…, furthermore, I my hair bolded as early as my mid twentieth, the story continued at work where I was unfairly treated by my most of my bosses ….! And ended now loosing my job though being a very hard worker… I tried my best! You must now know that I was never able to develop a love relationship with anyone and I don’t feel like doing so at all I just turned 50, jobless, weak and lonely…., this is how it goes Now can you or anyone else tell me, to go and love myself !! , I am born miserable and trapped in a body and with people I never choose for 50 years…, brutally cruel treatment I was punished for being me !

I dont know how to love myself… let’s watch

I've found that mediation has paved the way for me to love myself.... It helps to get rid of negative energy. The main reason I found it helps me is bcus I'm willingly putting in the time my mind, body & soul needs. I also do little self love gestures e.g... Looking after my skin from head to toe... Love the body your in.

The writers of this channel are brilliant. All these videos are so well said

I don't know if this will help anyone but I tell myself that if God, whose love is in the most ultimate and définitive form, loves me, than I am loved, Period. And therefore I am certainly worthy of human love, including from myself. I also think of nourishing my inner child as I'm naturally maternal, so I try to be maternal to myself. 💜🙏

seems like no matter how many positive affirmations I tell myself, I’m unable to shake my core beliefs that have shaped who i am since childhood.

It's a year ago since I watched this. I was struggling to come to terms with a failing relationship; pressurising myself to be someone I wasn't and ignoring the problems that lay at the back of my mind constantly. I look back and can't believe I let myself be so cruel to my own self worth. I was suffocating but this video showed me the doorway out, a year on into that journey I can only truely say thank you for saving my life

you have to look at all the amazing things that you do for all of us, keeping so many details happening at the same time. This is not easy even though you take it for granted because its all youve ever known. Its a very important skill and we are all grateful. you are very important

I watch your videos when all the cases I read get too much. They're immensely helpful for calming down. Please never stop. Thank you. - A tired Law student

As a bulgarian, this took me by surprise xD P.S - Loved the video (:

Thank the gods for the School of Life. Immensely helpful across all the fronts that matter most

How i learned to love myself: Say it to yourself all day. At the beginning it will be very hard, but day by day i started to feel better and better and by 3 weeks it really changed my life. I just said I love myself to myself all day. I invite you to do the same.

Thank you school of life for parenting me in a life where my parents didn't.

"Just speak bulgarian" made me pause the video. Why would you choose my language as a reference out of all the other existing ones lmao that caught me off guard :D

videos from this channel always arrive at the *perfect* time

Yo I never been this early to the session

I deal with a lot of approval seeking , especially in my relationship with my gf. The pattern is just so addictive and it's so deep rooted I just don't know how to let go of it and be truly happy with who I am and know that I am enough. What I don't understand is that I have really great, supportive parents who have always loved me so these theories about the way you were raised I find frustrating .

1:50 I did not expect to hear those words from this channel! You caught me there

I guess I really am deprived of love, I began to cry when those little speech bubbles of nice phrases popped up

As someone who heard throughout their formative years many words and phrases of condemnation and rejection, this spoke to me very very deeply. Affirming words of self-love without descending into arrogance or ego are crucial to one's well-being and will manifest itself in ways in which you can also show love to others.

as a male its extremly rare to recieve any kind of compliments unfortantly. be about looks or otherwise

I'm very happy to have seen this video. I just started having a crisis this month and maybe this video gave me some hope. If anyone is facing similar problems I wish you the best. Even if someone wants to have a talk I'm up for it.

Thank you, I can’t thank you enough for saying what I’ve been telling people all along during this last 20 years of self-help guru isms… That you can all love yourself as much as you want to but you will sooner or later reject the idea of it if you are not receiving love from the outside… Both romantic and interpersonal because if you have to ask for it from someone else then it is not genuinely yours… And that supports the notion that you are not working of genuinely given love

The timing of your videos is honestly mind bogglingly insane but this time, instead of clicking the video in desperate need I can watch it from the position of having learned the skill of loving myself for who I am. Granted, I still have a long way to go but I'm at a point of which I'm content with my life as of now, consciously living it according to my values. That is meaning.

I don’t descend into self loathing when faced with unfair criticism, I explode and attack.

Be on your side. You know yourself better than anyone, you should be understanding towards yourself.

Now that's a channel I will never regret subbing to. The effort you put into making these videos is great. Excellent work.

The content of these videos has positively developed to be more comprehensive, presentation and brief. Thank you for keeping on making these videos!

Even after a couple years society still fails us this day can't even be nice to each other sad...

Thank you The School of Life for taking that place of a compassioante and caressing voice in my life. It was much needed. I now go online to be loved and understood

I liked the part when you say: Just speak Bulgarian! It's one of the most difficult languages for foreigners to learn, but of course it's not impossible, as self-love could also be taught. You really do have fans from Bulgaria, though, greetings and warmth from that not-so-distant country to you! 😊

So timely. We have so many opportunities to apologize to ourselves. If only we do this more often. I will.

The animations, the comforting narrator voice and the message, are way better than my therapist will ever be. Watching this a 100 times might actually make a small crack in my rock hard shell of self-hatered.

I think this video speaks to many many people very personally.

That's amazing! I just uploaded an interview with an awesome life coach talking about this exact topic. I love it that people are interested in knowing more about what self love is and how to truly love themselves. It's critical for our mental, emotional and social health.

the philosopher's answer to loving yourself. thank you.

How school of life knows what I want?