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The ruminating “ what did I wrong “ takes a long time! After love bombing comes the real person , with no texting, silent treatment and rudeness. It’s hard to deal with.
Been there done that! Worse 15 years of my life. My advice is run when they give you the silent treatment. They’ll never expect it and it’ll hurt their ego. They’ll never expect it
Its very hurtful and you think to yourself jeez this person isnt even Human or has no Heart at all.... its a very sad situation, i just went thru it good thing i didnt give her the Ring and buy the House i was going to get for us to start our so called Long Term Relationship
Yes i understand you ..i was discarded abruptly in mid august 22..& he went no contact/blocked me via phone & would not talk in person either..i still havent come to grips with it all. I was in a relationship for over 6 yrs.. All this is as most of these posts explain diorientating ..for us empathists to comprehend.. Now im educating myself which is helping to gain clarity & helping me in my recovery..
Thier visious the things they say to hurt glad my skin is thick. But I know his is thin would never try to hurt anyone's self esteem cause your f up just looked at him and laughed like really did u just say that disrespectful sht too me that did it for me. Bye devil 👿😈👿😈 gone with the back burner narc supply y'all look good together
I never saw it coming, he said he’s an alpha male that’s why he wants to be in control. I let him to control me but in the end, he did not care. I was drained and I said I needed a break but he blocked me in every social media. Now I’m stuck, and in pain
Only co-dependent can live with a narcissist because of their insecurities and dependency on them. But an empath will leave them because of silly behaviour.
That makes sense. The more I was kind and compassionate with his moods and craziness the more he was bored! Lol I thought he would calm down but he just kept destroying his own life. I am so bored and exhausted with him.
After giving multiple chances for he’s toxic ways. Lies the cheating abuse etc. as hard as it was I just left. For the past 3 years he’s tried everything for a reaction. He has a new partner and child yet still trying to hoover. These people just play with peoples hearts and emotions. I’m so grateful I had the strength to leave. I had no support from the threats and he did something illegal which he got away with. Police never helped me in the Uk. Never. That’s what disgusts me. I look at him now and I’m ashamed I gave him the time of day. Stay strong everyone and love yourself always.
After 27 years of marriage- 3 amazing children my ex narc got jealous, bored and found new supply in a teenager. DISCARD began, mask came off and the terrifying transformation to insanity. A selfish, hating , reckless, crude, cruel, resentful , insecure inner child presented. He said he felt nothing for me or the children and had never wanted any of our life . He was a completely different person. Fast forward after family counseling and 7 years - it’s still hard to wrap our brains around. We have all moved on and are doing well. You have helped me come to a better understanding of this difficult time. Thank You!💛
Absolutely spot on, keep your own self-respect & dignity and walk away, not easy but do this and all will come right in the end. the more you give trust me the more they want, walk away and let it sink in there selfish heads, it will hurt them big time.
No one in their correct mind is going to want the narcissist chasing them. If they do then they aren't correct in their head. I would never want my ex to be behind me. I mean who wants a handicapped person obsessed with them? No thanks!!!
This is spot on! Thank you! Upon the discard, my ex narc told me that I had failed to give him “lip service” on how great he was. He told me I had done that in the beginning but I changed. So he fell out of “love” from me. Lol. I had given so much of me to him yet nothing was enough. He wanted me to constantly be awed by him no matter what wrong he did to me. He wanted to be validated and be in control. With narcissists there’s nothing “right” that you can do to make them not discard you. If they had enough of you and they get bored with you, everything you do is “wrong” to them. So the whole relationship is not only based on lies but you have absolutely no control of it. It’s all up to them to determine how it’s going to go and when it’s gonna end. Great video! Thank you!
@@kristinej.4182 ya. All are the same. 😳 Each person who experienced it can totally think of the narc in their lives even though they are all different people they are the SMAE!
My borderline ex girlfriend did all of this behaviour...when I ignored her she would turn up where I work like a stalker...then when I gave her attention she would cause trouble and eventually leave about 2 weeks later. Then sometimes she would try to provoke me in to having an argument then when I would react she would tell me to leave..then she would leave again then be in contact about 1or 2 weeks later..sounds like a narcissist to me she needs constant attention changing friends..job..boyfriend etc when she gets bored
I experienced something similar with a borderline. It took time apart to realize what actually happened, how emotionally damaging it was, and how much I had been manipulated. It's hard to explain to my friends, who all question why I put up with so much abuse for so long. It's almost like someone has to have experienced cluster B abuse to actually understand.
I'm borderline and bipolar... it's because borderlines suffer from abandonment issues, attachment issues, Co dependency and when they feel triggered or threatened then they lash out and claw in to avoid the very abandonment they feel
@@shirl974 no they're not similar at all. Just because they are in the same cluster doesn't mean they are similar... All mental health conditions will have similar symptoms but doesn't make them similar at all
@@ebrowntaylor1 I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak about borderlines like they are evil and abusive. Did you think to research her condition to learn more and understand? Did you acknowledge that childhood trauma had impacted on her? Did you even consider how she felt being abusive? Manipulative? Nothing to do with having experience in cluster B abuse she has a mental health condition, you was clearly aware of this when you got with her because borderlines are to honest, she probably warned you and told you parts to explain her ways. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a relationship and live a day to day life when your own thoughts and feelings are against you? Do you know how much it kills inside to push people away because you are so scared to be abandoned, are you aware that borderlines will have panic attacks through fear, anxiety or even through their own thoughts. Are you aware of the daily intensive thoughts reminding you of the way you've messed up, telling you that the world would be better off without you? No I didn't think you had...
OMG, that's me!! Someone like me sees straight thru him and see his suffering, wants to help!! Don't a severe narc need someone like me? Can't they see their own destructive ways?
When I started realising what was going on, and standing up for myself, he became so much worse before exploding - I think because he knew he couldn't control me anymore
Exactly! This chaotic, crazy making stupidity can be physically and mentally exhausting. Kudos on the help from this channel and channels like it. God bless and Happy New Year.
@@anoushkamarcin Likewise, so Greatful ma'am. God bless you and your channel. Please continue with your Awesome work, it's saved lives and mental health.
It took me almost one year to start looking for explanation, and I think I have found my "library" here. Ty all for adding your experiences so more ppl can understand and realize. It was quite a ride for my brain, and finally I think understanding will give peace to my broken heart. (Thank God she didn't wanted kids...that will be gate to hell probably)
The saying of : they never want to invest for relationship longevity (even not for a friendship). It makes a lot of sense. That’s why they only did the talks but had no real action, they want to keep the supply at their minimum cost……😢 sad to know this really…
Thank you for sharing the knowledge you have learned 🙏🏽 after 30 years and 5 children she’s like “good bye” . It’s a tough pill to swallow but your videos help so much. And know that, your vids are helping many confused and hearting souls until they learn. Take care
He always needed constant praise and attention - he'd get cross half way through a meal if we weren't all telling him how great it was 🙄 he'd walk in the room and expect us all to stop what we were doing to pay him attention. He really struggled during lockdown, missing his colleagues giving him attention
I really believe it's because they don't understand emotional cues. They split everything into black and white and don't understand anything that is gray, so when they get that mild/gray reaction they automatically file it under black. You have to be absolutely extra/showy in order for them to understand it. For example, mine would get really upset when I came home from home work and didn't immediately run, hug, kiss, and or validate him, he would say things like how can you even say you miss me and you just walk in like nothing lol he needed me to fly in the door, wind blowing in my hair, run into his arms and adore him for him to believe that I indeed missed him. It's all about the dramatics with them, you have to be very extra for them to actually consider you, it's crazy lol
This is so true. My recent covert narcissist gf /next door neighbour (yes, she lives right next door) love bombed me heaps and treated me like I was on top of the world as our so called relationship was beginning. She had constructed in her mind that in the following months we are to move into a home together, btw she's also a divorced single mum. Instant red flag, I am not jeopardizing my assets to bring up a 4yo boy and his immature mum. As the weeks passed and her fantasy was getting stale, our relationship went off and on as I became wiser to her NPD condition. Now on a 6week no contact (I grey rock her when we see each other, as we are neighbours) - she still does random things to try and get my attention. She would park her car close to mine with the hope I would break my no-contact. I know she still needs me. She renewed her lease ! I have another 12months of her living next to me. 🤔 . I own my place, if she really hates me with a passion - why has she not moved away !!
Oh, God. I wish you strength. I left my narc so long ago. We both live in NY but in different boroughs which is far away enough. He was a stalker and I still often wonder if he drives here to check out my house. She sounds like a desperate person as was my ex. I was the one with the money and I know he wanted it but he never got it. I can't imagine my disgust if I ever saw him again. I hope you have security cameras outside.
@@gerardinecizmar hi Gerardine. She still lives next door to me. However, as time has now passed I've come to the understanding that she is actually BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
Everyone has healthy narccisim, it's when it's high on the scale or npd this happens Sam vaknin. What your saying is correct but we also need to do our shadow works as well so you don't attract any more narcs..
Yeah I figured that out like 2 years ago, what was it in me that had attraction or resonance on that level? You have to explore your own darkness so you can deal with it better.... Everyone has some kind of narcism but to which degree...
One of my ex narc's supplies contacted me and told me she had been seeing him off and on for a long time and told me a lot about the person he is some of the things shocked me. 2 years passed out of the blue came the hoover,l didnt answer them he pursued for nearly a month I decided to unblock him and told him to stop calling at my house as one of his supplies has told me all about him and that he should leave me alone,he gave no reply after a day l re blocked and l havnt heard from him since 😊As they are shame based lm hoping now l will finally be left alone 🙏🙏
But I never did give him what he wanted because I was always busy and it really got so pissed off at me … I am no longer in this because I had a spiritual awakening and I finally seen the true narcissist, I was married to him for 10 years and we hooked back up after 15 yrs … then he showed me who is is and why I was put thru the ringer for yrs because I didn’t give him my energy,,, so, I cut communication off completely,, I love ur page so much
I have spiritual narcissists stalking me. I live with a typical narcissist. Hell is a place called Earth for me. I hate it when people tell me to ''get out of there'', since I have no job and I'm losing my eyesight.
It's painful and now I'm starting to believe I am a narcissist. I'm exhausted and he deflects when i question something by degrading me and destroy my confidence to Build his Ego... and he treat random women kindly yet he does not treat me the same. So 3 years now and I've left over 100 times. But I'm not running away. I feel like I need to learn and leave without hatred. I challenge him like you have no idea. But am I an empath or narcissist? He definitely is a narcissist.... he learns you and uses your weakness as fuel to destroy you completely.
One of your best videos! Puts everything in perspective, making it closure enough for a lot of people, especially when you now know the answer to your WHY? Thanks!!
Great advice, thank you. I have to work with my narc and I have no choice but to see her. I try to avoid as much contact as possible and would love to not see her at all but that is not an option.
Im watching alot of videos about this topic lately ! And i wondwr if any of these people making these videos are narcissist them self!?.. I have a gut feeling about it so often !
Go with your gut!! I have wondered the same, but there are several self aware & diagnosed narcs making videos on here, but it's still us giving them the attention they want, it's almost like they're exploiting people's pain with their behaviors all in the name of helping others....
I have been with my BF for 15 years. In that time he has always messaged and met up with other woman for sex. I have now realised he has all the narsatistic traits. I have been told by my friends to leave.
Mirroring is a normal process sis, please don’t forget that. People do that naturally when building a bond. It’s just done at a higher degree from someone with a personality disorder
There's a difference between mirroring and matching. Mirroring means they don't have their own personality so they just reflect yours back. Matching means you're giving a person yourself but you match their energy. It's closer to molding than mirroring.
@@JevonMyles “Mirroring is the behavior in which one person unconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family. “ as per google. Mirroring is a natural bonding process. Narcs and other toxics just up it. Please get more familiar with these terms so you can understand other videos better as well to protect yourself
Hi Anoushka, Happy New Year, to the best friend and tutor I have never met xxx. Your videos are always brilliant so helpful. My ex from 2005 has just popped up in the end of 2021. Yawn I am so over his childish behaviour, I'm so different now....he hasn't changed one bit! Pathetic really...
It is indeed scary how they Hoover after so many years. Thanks to the Internet, I have realized that all my relationships are same “ cluster B” men with different faces….. throughout my life. My ego appreciated that they “ wanted to catch up”. I was prideful and naive. Long gone are my rose colored glasses.Recovery from codependency is not for the faint of heart. Sadly, they are “ heads” and we “ tails” of same coin. Our healing a bit less arduous. Peace All 🌎
Omg... I can't believe my bf is a narcissistic person, all the explanation you made in this video is exactly what he did from the beginning of our relationship... he care so much about me messages morning and night phone regularly and suddenly he showed me his really color and I have already fall in love with him now he blocked me everywhere 3 weeks now I'm not happy about this ridiculous behavior 💔
if he has. blocked you, trust me please, block and delete IT., IT CANT RECIPROCATE REAL LOVE. remember that. they just need attention and to feel like they have made. you FEEL what they want. because they are so powerless to get what they want which is to be a God on earth.
I've just been through 10 months with my narccasist fience I just couldn't make it work ,I was so drained ,I was on my knees ,I know first hand what it is like to be with a narccasist . I tried everything ,I did make a small break through . I had to give up in the end .
Excellent video and synopsis of what happens in a relationship with a narcissist explaining both sides of the sad equation . Thanks… tho title misleading
How bout I just want to escape narcissistic people and not play narcissistic games back? I have nothing to gain from having someone like that in my life
Narcissist can’t see you as an individual drain their supply, they will find other supply and simulate internal happiness with these people but it will wither away
But what if he is super. Charming nd every girl wants to be around him .coz he acts like a super good human being always giving love nd kindness..he is a great actor..why will he becomes obsessed of me..he has many options
I used to text mine all the time and in morning good morning he doesnt text me until I text him where he used to say goodmorning my love he say plain good morning and there day he doesnt even text I decided to stop texting him and calling him that much caus3 I realise why I'm the only one puting effort alone
How to make them obsessed with you? Just delete and block them, next is to change your phone number and there you go.. they will be obsessing with you by finding where you are and what you do in your life
For my medications have helped to stop reacting to these narcs....i consulted doc..as could not convince narc to take help of psychiatrist...so i had to take medications for myself...believe me...their tactics dont affect me...
Don't necessarily believe that. She left 2 years ago & I've not seen or heard from her for 6 months & we're in the same small town. Agreed about the childhood bit. She was one of eight & both parents had full time jobs.
Not a romantic thing. But a friendship. I had no local friends because I moved away. 6 months ago I could not believe how wonderful I felt . I was praying thanks every day. I never felt so grateful. But now it got horrible.... And so I pulled away. I was kind of obnoxious because I was so mad. And this isn't my first Narcissist. Then when I calmed down and was nice again she was so happy. And I felt so relieved. It's sad that I feel like I need her in my life. The only thing is she used to love bomb me but now she tries to make me jealous. And I hate that.
It should be the exact opposite, that you get bored by chopping and changing out partners!! Normal is not changing around partners, you want that 'one' you who can be your rock, that's what makes us feel good, not a multitude of new people.
The length of time I’ve given space in my mind, rent free, to my ex Covert female intimate partner, astounds me… What a waste of my precious time!!! As was, my entire time spent w/ this fake woman…😢
Don't worry I did the same, but I started to work on my self love and self respect, when you learn your worth you won't be chasing nobody again in your life ❤😊