The moment when you realize that you, a heterosexual lady, are watching a video about how to flirt with women at 3.30 a.m., and suddenly become aware you fell into the rabbit hole again.
To be a good flirt: 1. Have no anticipated outcome 2. Be yourself and have fun 3. Open body language 4. Positive enthusiastic energy 5. Subtle sexual signals 6. Push pull 7. Physical contact 8. Leading 9. Switching environments 10. Random, playful conversations and humour
I wonder how it'd work if I said "I wanted to complement your beautiful eyes, but last time I did that to a woman, I had to punch a stranger to ease the tension."
Every single word of this is true. It can be weird, creepy and intrusive to be asked to respond to a stranger's intense compliments. The joke makes you look like you are fun and NOT likely to hide in the bushes with a knife and duct tape outside her door.
Telling a girl she's beautiful is as meaningless as Telling a random person, you breathe oxygen Try something different. Do not be like every other men
Guys ... these guys aren't pulling tricks. They are very light hearted people with a great sense of association which allows them to be as funny as they are. They ride the tides of tension like any comedian. Don't try to perfect this and then apply it like you are fixing your bathtub: if I do this, it will work. Be funny, get a woman to laugh and have a good set of values and you'll be fine. It's better to stop worrying about how you approach someone.
+TheLineCutter True but it is probably not a bad thing to keep this in mind in the situation he described which is when you initially meet someone and want to compliment without lingering. I have the funny part down so it's interesting to see how it can be used in this instance. Obligatory Disclaimer: I ain't a player and girls don't line up for me, I'm just sayin.
+TheLineCutter It's just advice man. It's not a set of directions to picking up women. Some guys have trouble approaching, talking to and maintaining a conversation with a woman they're interested in so this kind of stuff helps.
+kay po the push pull is a trick. when you can predict its coming its a trick. Being happy or funny I would not consider a trick. Those are important because the alternative is simply horribly unatractive. There are other ways of coping with a compliment. the push pull therefor is a trick.
It is if you're outside the UK, but what makes you think an American accent doesn't get noticed in the UK? I heard 3 or 4 American accents over 5 days at a music festival, and they're generally pretty magnetic amongst 200,000 British accents!
These "push & pull" examples are the perfect amount of giving and taking. I feel as though allot of men get confused with this tactic and think they need to be mean or even insulting when its comes to the push...and thats definitely not the thing to do. Their is a difference between teasing and being hurtful and if you dont know the difference than id seriously recommend you completely forget this tactic all-together. Although, when done right teasing can be fun & flirty and the perfect way to appear dominant in the conversation just make sure it is used in small doses and DO NOT over do your push . Over doing it can make a girl go from comfortable and open with you to being closed off and insecure. Really pay attention to how the men in the video used 'push & pull" in my personal opinion Ferguson's did it brilliantly but I think he's brilliant in general so i'm probably a bit biased.
to be fair the problem is the push pull is a terrible technique taught by pua's who know nothing. where you insult the woman to make her feel bad then give a compliment to pick her back up. this is some bull they think raises their value and lowers the value of the "10" they're trying to get. this video is about the pull push about building tension then breaking it . don't get me wrong i am big fan of teasing but like you said if you can't judge which buttons not to press or the difference between a tease and an insult don't do it.
@@michaeljeacock For the Push/Pull. I've witnessed guys' try this with me and I don't really take them seriously because I know it's a technique. The push-pull tactic pisses me off and I usually want to get away from the person because it comes across as manipulative. Teasing doesn't work well on me. I end up thinking the guy is a jerk. I feel bad for some guys because they overdo the push. Another thing noticed. They can take digs at my interests and try to come across as teasing. Doesn't work. For the guy who gives an insult only to compliment. It seals the deal and ensures they will not have a chance.
I like to compliment ladies when I see their hair done in a pretty way, and deflate it by asking if they think I could do that to my hair (which is only about 1 inch long...)
''I swear I saw your beautiful smile from a mile away!'' ''Aww thanks!'' ''That's why I have these binoculars with me'' (only works if you have binoculars with you)
I attended a class on meditation in which we were all asked to speak a little, I told the instructor "Your book is the best book on Buddhism I've read!" he smiled and thanked me then I continued "Well, it's also the *only* book on buddhism I've read. But it was really good!" Everyone laughed, including him.
My old boss was great with this. He would say to me "you're doing great work, I'm so proud of you" and then follow it with a "I don't know why everyone says you're a fuckhead" haha
The whole push/pull thing ultimately comes down to being socially aware. So the more social awareness you exhibit, the more attractive you appear. So for those of you who already see themselves has being socially aware, just relax and be yourselves.
@@Smenchevievefix it become more socially aware first and foremost is to learn body languages And make a lot of mistakes and lose a lot of connections in the way that u will build That’s the only way this is how we learn
@@GreatTaiwan I feel like the only problem with the advice 'just become more socially aware then' is that you need a combination of successes and failures to actually learn. Successes let you know what you are doing right and failures let you know what you're doing wrong, allowing you to tweak your strategy to increase success. Many like me only experience failure, giving me no opportunities to find out what is actually right and only letting me know that everything I do and am is just wrong in every way. No way to learn from that I'm afraid
I've always struggled with women because I'm an introvert. I prefer solitude over big crowds. But, after watching this video, I finally see now the correct ways to interact with girls. And I'm sure this works with anyone and not just with women but you would need to modify your "push, pulls" in a way. Thanks for this video.
Watching your videos has changed the way I perceive social situations and has relieved so much social anxiety for me and honestly I never expected such an impact from a free channel on RU-vid, I appreciate what you do, wish I could give you a hug thru the internet lol
These are great! It's great to see this style of flirting getting discussed instead of the whole "negging" trend men think women like. There is a way to lighten your compliments with a follow-up to defuse the tension or make a woman not feel like you are piling it on, and showing confidence without being demeaning and rude. That would be exactly this. Men, definitely use push/pull over negging, you can show us you're confident and not needy without bringing us down. No person should have to show confidence by knocking down someone else.
@@lloydkline1518 It has nothing to do with him being white, and I think he dresses like a slob. As a woman, I can confirm that I despise backhanded compliments. Russell might make me laugh, but he would most definitely be looking elsewhere to get laid. I prefer sincere compliments that aren't followed up by a joke that immediately walks the compliment back.
+william41017 You're famously witty = your being witty is well-renowned, famous even. So if it's easy, you're either so lazy that you won't do what's easy even for you, or you simply have no desire to let your wit become famous.
I do that to my girlfriend all the time. She's all mad at me for some bullshit of another but I know I can make her laugh. You can see the struggle. She's like "No, I'm mad right now." inside but outside she can't help but laugh. It's great.
I think that these are the sort of things that can really upgrade your conversational skills, not just to flirt but in general. Certain people will find it to be just a "pick-up trick to deceive women" but I don't see it like this. Using push/pull doesn't make you "fake", it's a technique to make the conversation flow better and to put both people more at ease. If people watch these types of videos it's because we all want to be better and this is one way to do become better with social skills.
i'm really happy that i found your channel, i really love that you not only talking about theories and advices but also show us in real life and how it looks in reality, thank you!
I find what works well is being a gentleman and having good manners. A fancy hat can also help. Edit: Wow! Can't believe my most upvoted comment was about fancy hats!
My friend complemented his colleague on her dress, he simply said "I like your dress" A week later he was in a meeting with HR after the girl made a complaint.
I Tried IT out yestersay at a Party and it Worked out really Well. Usually i am the guy who Tries to make the Girl Laugh a lot and i got always friendzoned but with the push pulls IT was super easy.
i do think confidence is a big part of this but thinking of how you’re gonna diffuse the tension & start a conversation, not just how to address the person, is helpful
I stumbled onto this and thought "oh God another one of those channels that teach you how to manipulate women to like you" but after watching this and I'm actually really impressed. there's a lot of awkwardness in female/male interaction in the world right now because of exaggerated media ideals and so on, so just simple things like explaining how to give compliments in a way that isnt uncomfortable or trapping is really helpful and as a woman I'm actually glad this sort of help can be given - and so articulately!
+Lemon Ste Yeah, I think that unfortunately, dating and flirting are topics that both men and women are just supposed to "get.' The problem is, people often don't just "get it," so they wind up lovelorn and/or creeping out the people they're interested in. Hopefully this video makes a small dent in that issue :-)
+Lemon Ste All flirting and attraction, dating etc. etc. is manipulation. Everyone manipulates each-other and all for the same reason. Just because there are educational videos teaching people who aren't naturally good at it... doesn't mean it is any more dishonest than what you or anyone else does in the game.
***** except if a guy is a good flirt and seems charismatic at first, then falls flat and turns out to be quite boring or awkward - that would mean he was being pretty misleading.
Step 1: touch their arm- encouraging intimacy. Step 2: touch their friend's arm- encouraging jealousy. Step 3: play them off each other- encouraging rivalry & contention. Step 4: leave with a stranger who comes along & buys you a drink- encouraging failure. Step 5: live happily ever after.
Craig is a master, he just knows how to pull anyone in and have a good time. He makes people feel like he has a connection with them that no one else has.
I watched him interviewing Bill Hader, he was one of the few ones who could actually come out with a sketch with him while improvising, it's true I felt a connection between the two, very interesting
Jesus, didn't realise people were still stealing stuff from the game all these years later; push pull was a part of the 'Mystery Method' - circa 2006, and this gave birth to hordes of wannabe PUA's, (Pick up Artist's) who were just desk jockey's. I've been through the whole lot and believe me the short answer is you just need to learn how to have a conversation, be non-needy, be direct and get to know who you are, what you want, where you're going and most of all have standards.
+Kiowhatta C Mystery didn't invent push pull... it was a technique that people have used for years if not centuries, often time it comes natural... all Mystery and others did was put labels to the things and analyzed what worked and what didn't and why, in order to better understand it, and to help educate those who didn't have the natural ability. You hypocritically criticize them and then turn around and say "... you just need to learn how to have a conversation, ...".... all this is part of conversation... that is the point of learning pickup techniques, it is all part of learning how to be non-needy, and be direct or indirect, when it is more effective... it can even be about learning who you are or who you want to be and what you want etc. You can call them wannabees, but if it works... then it works.
+Kiowhatta C I'm pretty sure Brand isn't sitting around reading PUA books, he's just naturally good at flirting. I might be wrong, but that's the impression I get.
+Leon Dawson with the personality type (he thinks he has a dopamine problem and can't restrain his mouth) he has and the early substance abuse he likely said and did every crazy thing under the sun at school and with girls near his local area and he would frequently be getting punched, laughed at and then eventually laughed with as he figured out what actually works
+Kiowhatta C I agree with you, but this is a good flirting technique. Especially when opening. Who cares if you read it somewhere first, this is a good video for people who don't know what it is.
excuse me charisma on command, can you do more of these breakdown videos, they're really good. i've watched almost all of craigs interviews w/ women and until you pointed that out, i hadn't looked at it that way. sooo please do more? :)
That's maybe the general underlying aspect to take away from this: It's not just about the superficial push-pull, it's about what it represents. It represents an approach that takes the form of an offer, without being intrusive, because the retraction makes it clear that it was just a little step forward and then a step back. You jump into the ring and out of it and you can tell, by the reaction during the first approach, if it would be appropriate or not to jump in again. If the other person remains defensive, you have already stepped out and should not approach again. It also represents interest, without being needy. More in a "Hey, I would like to talk to you, but I can take it or leave it". That also reflects high self-worth and personal value. Only someone who has high value has options and only someone with options can afford not to be needy. Neediness and piling on compliments will not just reflect neediness, like a begger at a relationship buffet, but the neediness reflects low self-worth and low social value. And in the end, people are attracted to (projected/perceived) personal value.
I did this in 5th grade to the girl I liked. I don’t know what I was expecting to happen and I just ended up feeling really bad lol. Luckily the lunch lady was the only witness
Once I had a guy stay over and later at night he just put on the dress I was wearing and went to the kitchen to make us a midnight snack - wearing the dress. It was adorable but the next time I put on the dress I realised he actually ruined my favorite dress by stretching it on the shoulders and got very pissed off about it
@@Oscar-hv8kw hahahah unfortunately he didn't say that. Obviously wasn't the one for me. See guys thats why watching the videos is not enough, must study the comments
Getting to the level of flirting can seem daunting, but it certainly is worth it. Having that affect on women is truly its own grand reward, besides getting to those Casanova levels is so much fun. Great content!
And now my game has just got better, thanks so much man. I'm definitely interested in more flirting techniques also you can't go wrong with Russell Brand. If you can do one on his charisma that would be awesome.
I think the biggest driving force behind the push/pull method is confidence. Both of these men are very confident which means that they can pay those components but then tease them or joke about it.
I do not like this style of flirting. The guy gives me a compliment, then, after I've given a polite response, he takes it back. I do appreciate Russell's, "It's just a bit rude," because then my honest comeback could be, "Yes, you are being a bit rude, I'm just surprised to hear you admit it." My girlfriends and I scratch our heads. Why do men do this? We can't figure it out. Now I can show them this video and say, "This explains it!" Forewarned is forearmed. Thanks to this video, I finally understand and can respond from knowledge rather than confusion.
Do you remember how boys and girls were teasing each other in elementary school? This style of flirting only comes naturally to many people, no need to watch a video for that or learn it as some kind of technique.
People aren't robots. Not every approach works with every person. It's also a cultural thing. Some countries admire a more straightforward approach to flirting, but in America humor goes a long way.
I complimented a girl once. I told her she was a nut. My mistake is when I went and told her what sort of nut she reminded me of. I said, "You remind me of a cashew." "A cashew?" she asked. "Yeah." Apparently this had struck her curiosity, for she then asked me, "Why a cashew?" I then went on to explain, I said, "A cashew, because your small on the top and big at the bottom." Three months of therapy later, ... I'd like to think things are going rather well.
I can agree to this completely. There was this one time I was hanging out with a group of people I just had met at a festival and this person I had a thing for was climbing this tree to sit on a branch. I offered if she needed help, she said no then I replied with "alright cool because I wasn't gonna help you myself, what I meant was help you find someone else to give you a lift up" in which she started laughing which broke this awkward tension for a moment
Is this really your only video with Craig Ferguson? He's like the most charismatic person I know, I can't believe you haven't used him as an example more often.
