My best friend from middle school committed suicide yesterday. We both hit 30 earlier in September. He said he felt he could never escape poverty and that he’s always going to be a loser like his addict mom and dad who was in prison all of his life. His name was Ryan T. I wish I could have shown him this video, he needed to see a down to earth person say what you were saying in this video.
I'm sorry to hear about Ryan. Not trying to make it about me but I just have to say that this really moved me. I'm 31, this time last year I was really at the point where life was changing drastically and I knew I was either going to make it or end my life. I just know what it feels to be literally exactly that age and really feel like nothing is ever going to change, like I REALLY get that. I know that you're probably thinking "yeah dude you know what it's like to be sad, I get it" but I just want you to know that like i really do. I'm sorry your friend wasn't able to make it. RIP Ryan.
@@the_panosnot true. You can always plan ahead bro. Dont use "development" as an excuse. You do know that the way you think will either help or hinder your development. Think and act like an adult and everything else happens around that.
One of the most POSITIVE , adult , no bs , take responsibility for yourself and your actions video lessons I've ever seen on the internet. You're a good man , Finn McKenty.
I fucked up my 30ies badly, I was an immature loser and wasted precious years that I will never get back. I managed to get my s*it together in my 40ies though and enjoyed life more than ever since. I'm 48 now, a happy man running my own business and doing the things I like most with a nice gf next to me. Bottom line, it's never too late to change and give your life a meaning.
I could definitely have done my 30s better. Partied my 20s away, and I’ve been raising a family in my 30s but stuck in meaningless chef jobs. I’m 38 now, and just bought a food truck. Been cooking 20 years and dreaming of self-employment, finally decided to make it happen.
From 14 to 38 I was never sober most days. I started smoking chronic weed daily when I was 14 before gradually moving on to hard drugs. I look back to my teenage years and 20s and realize how many potential romantic relationships I could have had with attractive women but instead I was getting stoned or high on a couch somewhere with some of my guys friends.
As I’m nearing 40 I found this incredibly validating. I’m exhausted from leveling up and I’m ready to coast into my 40’s so I can start enjoying it. Getting married, having two kids, getting multiple promotions, clearing debt, saving for retirement and staying fit has been the best hustle of my life. Everything said here is 100% true. Worth it.
At 31 after wasting all of my 20s on chasing a career in theatre/acting I'm now on my way into a career in construction. I've felt very insecure about this initially but seeing this video and knowing I'm following most of this advice already is very reassuring. Thanks for this one Finn 🤙
I was lucky enough to get into a skilled trade at 18, I now sit in my basement all day designing electrical systems listening to music, watching movies, and making over $120k a year plus all my union benefits on top of that. Not a single college credit to my name.
I kind went the same way as you, I am only 40 and have 20 years in the HVAC union, I can retire at 55. I also fucked up a lot in my 30s - It was like all the shit i was too scared to try in my 20s I tried in my 30s but I never missed a day of work even though I was into heroin for 3 years. But I was able to kick it and fire back on all cylinders @@ryanbrown1789
@@ryanbrown1789 College is SOOOO overrated. Especially today. Community college or online learning is where it's at. If I had it to do all over again, I would've chosen a trade, then done my art/music on the side.
@@perfectallycromulent oh I believe the data, but not everyone wants a four year degree. Some want to learn a trade, some want to get a two year assoc. degree from community college so they can start working immediately. Most of what I learned in college I could’ve gotten with a two-year degree. The data only applies to people who WANT to attend college.
This is solid advice. I unfortunately wasted my 30’s being a pot head and a drunk. I turned 40 a few months ago and now I’m going back to college for a Library and Information degree and I quit drinking and drugging at 39. Watching Finn’s videos was a big part of that. I wish I had seen a video like this years ago and started the process of getting my shit together earlier but I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life and I’m hopeful for the future for the first time. Thanks for being a positive influence on my life Finn, please keep putting messages like this in your videos. It does help people who are willing to listen. Much love brother, keep up the awesome work.
I went back to school a year and a half ago at 32, and I just turned 34 a few weeks ago… It’s been a struggle, but working a full time job while actively chasing my dreams for me is way better than stewing in misery at a job I hated in my 20s. I put off relationships because I was too fucked up to be in one. I’m blessed that I have the same friends I’ve had since I was 14. Eventually, I would like to get married. But I’ve got a lot of shit to take care of first. Lucky I got out the rut I’ve been in for so long, and can actually TALK TO WOMEN again.
Completely understand that position… It’s impossible to meet the person you would like to marry in the places you know you’re not supposed to be. In life and of the physical space.
Im 43 and just met my wife 3 years ago and ultimately it took me getting away from a go no where career and getting away from those people not heading in the same direction.
this sounds a lot like me. No point in trying to get in relationships when you aren't really ready to be in one. My high school friends are the only thing that has kept me going a lot of times.
I’m an 18 year old in my senior year of high school and I already got stuck in that “i’m a loser” mentality. Thanks for the wake up call Finn, this really made me feel more motivated. Love all your videos man, keep it up 💩💩
Hell yeah dude. You’re not a loser. Your are simply what you do. You have absolutely no obligation to do what you did last week, yesterday, or even one minute ago. Every human life is inherently valuable. You are valuable. And you can build the life you want to live. Best of luck dude!
Homey - you're not a loser; you're practically a blank slate. You can do almost anything you want at this point - the options are nearly endless. Go attack your life!!
I turned 35 four days ago and I'm doing a lot of self-reflection these days, so this hits close to home. Thank you, Finn. Being disabled, not all of your tips apply to me but some of it does and I'm definitely too much living and also thinking like a 25-year-old still.
Don't be afraid to try things you aren't confident about. I wasted a lot of potential by assuming I was less capable than I was due to medical problems. Not to downplay disability though, I don't mean it like that. I just mean that we all have value and ways to contribute to making our own and others lives better, and there are always opportunities to improve that. Good luck to you
Focusing on negative self talk was really good. There’s a fine line between self reflection and just beating yourself up sometimes, and the intensity of social media these days can inflame that thinking. Losing a friend this year to senseless violence made my think more about mortality, you are not the main character, not everyone is out to get you.
I was a homeless alcoholic/drug addict 5 years ago. Now I’m 29, sober, and have a solid career as a counsellor. The reason that happened is because I had to take a serious look at all of these things and do what I could to change them. There will always be things that I can’t control, but I can always control my reaction to these things. You’re worth the effort you put into your life.
Im in my late 20's now and thank you for sharing finn. I have 2 young kids and am married but struggled with alcoholism and depression for years, struggled to get sober since my first was born in 2019. The ultimatum was when my alcoholism and porn addiction was so bad that my marriage was about finished but pulled it together. Stopped drinking october 1st 2023 and not looking back. Thanks papa finn
These videos are always my favourite, always happy to see Finn pump one of these out every so often. Your video about addiction over the summer helped me quit weed.
As a 31 year old stuck in a rut. . I really needed to hear this. I didn’t become focused on my goals until my mid 20s, always a failure since elementary school lost in La La land in my mind day dreaming and what not. When I finally focused, I surprised myself and excelled in my studies. It felt great. Once I got my nursing license and landed a job at a huge hospital in Chicago, mid pandemic, I felt that burnout hit almost instantly. Got my heart broken a couple times and lost my momentum. It’s been 2 years that I’ve been stuck at this “plateau”, looking back at how I used to be- energy wise, health wise and lifestyle wise.. I turn 32 in a month, and haven’t felt that motivation since 28. This video was a wake up call. As a female I’m conditioned to believe that life ends and you are basically worthless if you hit 30 and are unmarried / childless. Thank you for this reminder that I have still have time to be what I always thoughts I could be. Sorry for the cheeesy rant 😅
37, just divorced after a 12 year marriage, just left my dream job I worked for 11 years. Both of these deteriorated to a state I hated myself and I saw no return from any of my efforts. Now I feel my time with my kid is of so much higher quality, I started my own business and it's going great, and I have the time to care about my health which luckily has been good so far. All these good and bad things happen and are just the way life goes, and if this life is the only chance I have, why not just make things good? Thank you for this video!
I had written a similar comment before seeing you two's. I had a similar thing happen. I am still happy to have buckled down in my late mid 20's to early 30's even though the first wife and job are gone. I ended up leveling up again. I do not believe that would be possible if I hadn't done the work back then.
This is a great video. I'm 35 and I actually just started going to the gym again this week. Your videos are great for listening to while working out. Addiction runs in my family and I'm trying my best to break the cycle. Been sober so many times but always seem to go back to it. I'm hoping it sticks this time. Been sober for almost a month now 💪
I lost my 30s to heavy alcohol and drug addiction. It’s literally a 10 year blank spot. It’s taken a lot of therapy to get over that. Now 40 years old, clean and sober and working on improving myself and taking my life back ❤
I entered my 30s with a "I still have plenty of time to do it later" mindset. I was desperate to stay young and culturally relevent. This caused me to waste a lot of time on things that did not better my life, hang with a younger crew, stagnate in my career and kept me connected to toxic people. Only bonus was that I had a solid career and a loyal/hard working Girlfriend but I was coasting through life. I remember one day going on Facebook(which I rarely did/do) and seeing where my peers from HS were at in life. This lit a fire under me. I finally got married at 34, cut out toxic people, exercised, focused my time on beneficial things and started a business(in my career field). Took 2 years of struggle but then I started thriving in all aspects of life. Just know that it is never too late but life gives you what you are willing to put into it. "Getting old" may seem terrifying but trying to hold onto youth will only drown you
Finn, I’ve just had the worst week of my life, soon to turn 27 and thought that my life was over , but this video is exactly what I needed to hear right now so thank you so much and have a happy new year !
Thanks for this Finn. It really encourages me to keep going. I'm 34, work in IT, married almost 5 years and have 2 great kids but one thing I've really neglected is my health, especially since I started work in IT. This past summer I started taking it more seriously once I discovered I hit 250 lbs (heavy for my height and age) so I've been going on walks on my lunch break, 25 push ups and 100 jumping jacks every night. Also, a calorie deficit works. Just telling myself not to get a second helping at dinner really worked for me. It isn't much but I feel better than I have in a long time. I feel more disciplined than I did in my 20's. I'm down 6 pounds, hope to loose more this next year!
As someone that is going through a divorce at 28 after 7 years of marriage and three kids this is really hitting home as I basically have to start over
This is actually all very solid advice, Finn. Appreciate it man. Sorry about your mom. My mom had a pretty rough and similar upbringing and she is also very troubled, and so am I by extension. Thanks for sharing.
i went to rehab for the first time at 19 and didnt get sober til 24. im 27 now and for awhile i felt i missed out on my 20’s, but really i prepared myself for my 30’s and onwards early. it may have not been as fun or crazy as i was earlier, but im alive and stable. i can offer people things and build towards a future i can be proud of. and thats something i never thought id have. everything you spoke in this video was on the nose Finn
Thanks man, I needed this. I spent my twenties partying and druggin' and had a series of realizations at 27, and decided to get a head-start on fixing my life before the big 3-0. I turn 30 in April and I spent the last 3 years bettering my career/skill-set and changed my location and group of friends. I have a wife now, and I though I feel caught up, I am really just caught up relatively speaking. I know that 30-40 is when the real grind & hustle begins, and suffice to say I am damn ready.
Man I’ve watched your videos for years, and this really spoke to me. I’m 26 now, and have had this same convo with my older brother before. Been making more constructive adult decisions since my Dad passed away; it was time to grow up. He even told me those last few weeks, “stop wasting time.” This is some legitimately good advice for anyone who needs to get their shit together. Thanks for what ya do man. 🤙
Thank you Finn for sharing your story with us! As a recovering addict born to a dysfunctional family, I appreciate this video more than words can describe. My 20’s were a hot mess, now I’m approaching 40, and I have to say that I am proud of the little achievements that I made. Be well, and have a safe and happy new year 🎆🎊🎆
I'm 35, and I've spent my 30s figuring out who I am, working on my confidence, as well as trying to nurture my relationship with my wife, trying to see my friends and family a good bit, as well as focusing on my job and where I'd like to go within the company I'm at. Watering my garden so to speak
Great video Finn, I've been following you for years. I'm about to turn 32 in a month. Debt free, got two kids, finally making enough money to afford the finer things in life. Been married for 8 years, been in bands from 2005 until 2020, toured, recorded did it all on a semi pro level. I gave up this lifestyle a few months before Covid hit. Best decision I ever made, I missed out on so many things for 15 years, coz I was so obsessed and focused on, wanting to make it in the music business. Damn it feels great to be a ''normie''. I love my family, my job, and I was always into cars, even before music. Now I can enjoy all the things I like, and not have to chase a dream which will never happen, especially here in Europe. Would be rad to meet and just talk in person once. Happy new year and keep this up!
Needed to hear this - lines up with what Ive been thinking about for awhile now. At 36 and not having advanced since I was 26, its time to do what needs to be done. Be great to write back in a year and say I've resolved my current issue...time and affirmative action will tell. Cheers Finn and all the best for 2024.
I did the same as Finn. But when I was 40. I’m 47 now and still getting better. I haven’t “made it” yet but I’m better than I’ve ever been and most importantly I’m happy, something I never was before.
I wasted my teenage years and early 20s doing drugs and destroying my life. I feel grateful that I start repairing my life and going back to school in my mid 20s. It took graduating at 29 and starting my career shortly after to actually start accomplishing things and making real progress. Like you, I didn't want to be like my mother too. But that went to the way side around the age of 18. Fortunately I had my Come to Jesus moment in a Motel 6 at 3 a.m. all geeked out from doing blow all night at the age of 23. I realized I was doing the same shit I was exposed to as a kid. I've been sober for 21 years now.
I just turned 40 last May and fell like I've had a rebirth in terms of taking care of myself and getting rid of bad habits and toxic people. Now more focused on Myself and looking forward to what 2024 has to offer.
Terrific that you are using your platform to spread this information. I completely agree with all of it. I got everything together between 27 and 32. It makes a huge difference. Even though I ended up getting divorced and laid off at 40, I still appreciate the decisions I made in my mid 20s. It made it much easier to put it all back together in my 40s. Got a new house, better job, new wife, and wonderful kids. Life is always full of ups, downs, and surprises. Do the hard work and you'll make it through.
This is really great advice, and a good reminder to those of us in our 30s working on this stuff, but may be slacking in one area or another. Thanks Finn!
This is a good inspiring video! I started my career and married the woman of my dreams when I was 26. I'll be 44 this year, still married to my wife and still working at the same place, but now I'm in management. I'm making more money than I ever thought possible and I am planning to retire at 55. I have two kids that are doing so well they're both on track to graduate early. But before all that I was a mess. I had a series of BAD relationships, I was an alcoholic and heavy drug user. I'm super grateful my wife didn't fire me shortly after we met, because I turned my life around for her. She deserved better than what I was at the time. My 30s were very trying though, and towards the end I quit drinking to excess because I could see I was drifting back into my old ways. I believe it's all about continual improvement and your small successes will snowball into a pretty fucking fantastic life.
This was a good video! Appreciate it Finn. I’m 27 years old and my life is actually getting started now, I got out of 5 year relationship and I know it was my fault, but that helped me learn what I was doing wrong and I know it won’t happen in my next relationship. Also I got hired for an IT position and that’s something I went to school for(well technically cybersecurity) but hey it’s a start. I also been working out way more and eating healthy. I have never felt anymore better in life. Things are going great.
It's taken most of my 30s to stop being in my early 20s. I'm determined to have at least some of my life unfucked by 40, though. To be fair to myself, mental health struggles and a bad internet addiction slowed me down immensely and are still weighing me down, but I'm at a point where I'm so deeply unhappy with my life that I simply must get my shit figured out or doom myself to becoming a Reddit moderator or prog fan (kidding, kidding). Besides, my body is rebelling hard. My hips feel 60, my core is weak, my back hurts... I'm lucky to have a high metabolism keeping me thin, or I'd be huge on top of it. But all that serves to say: Don't let your 30s pass you by. I did, and the mess it's left me with feels insurmountable most days. Now I'm desperately trying to play catchup and make up for 20 years of pissing about. It sucks. It's terrifying. Don't do it to yourself. If you're in your 20s and doing what I did (hooked on the internet all day feeding your depression and living that sweet sweet NEET life), stop now. Seriously. I can't emphasize enough how awful it feels to be 37 and absolutely lost in life with no appreciable life skills.
Here's a big one - "Be a botherer". A lot of people will sit around and not ask friends/family/acquaintances to do things and then think nobody wants to do anything with them - SOMEONE has to initiate! Once you get the ball rolling and be at the top of the queue, more things will start to happen.
I really REALLY needed to hear this, Finn. I've been having a really hard time lately and this just re-enforced what I was feeling and thinking lately and you confirmed all of it. Love you, my dude.
Thanks for sharing your story and advice. It's cliche and I am older but I've been there done that. The things that you brought up are true. If you don't have your shit together by the end of your 30's it's going to be a long hard struggle that could encompass the rest of your life.
I'm 26 going on 27 in July of 2024. I feel like I constantly wasted my time chasing the wrong things in my years prior to now. All I've ever wanted was to be a musician and play shows and travel since I was 5 years old, and I'm no closer to that now than I was even then. It's extremely disheartening to learn about how other bands, both old and new, have at least consistently toured by the time they were my age or have found success, and I have only ever played like 2-3 shows in my life. The only thing I have going for me is that I have been recording, mixing and mastering music since I was 15 (2012), but in the past few months I haven't really done much with music, and have started to contemplate everything. I just don't really feel that drive anymore, and I've been considering hanging up the option of being in a full-time touring band and either going behind the scenes or leaving music all together. Ever since my partner in crime for music died in 2017, everything I attempt to do with music seems to bottom out eventually, and I'm legitimately thinking about just calling it quits permanently. I know that these are excuses and I need to just work harder and past all of it, but I just want to know if there's anyone out there that can relate. I feel so alone and defeated.
Same here, couple years ahead of you at 29. Got an opportunity to live at home with my (now) supportive dad to put a genuine effort into a music career before its too late(it may already be, idk...) A younger version of me dreamed of the opportunity to not have to focus on bills and just on the music...problem is, the barrier to entry seems so high. I understand more avout how the nusic business actually works, and im not a super hot 20 y/o with connections in the biz, or exceptionally great songs...Do I really have 10 years to build a powerful brand in rock/metal? (which is not really a popular genre anymore...) Lately, I've been mostly interested in electronic music too, because it's more fun and interesting. The scene seems less toxic. But, damn, I don't know how to DJ and spent the last 15 years learning guitar and drums and singing....I dont know how to compete with a top dubstep producer like subtronics or Boogie T...Fortunately I have a music education degree, so I can always fall back on a job in public education...but if I accept that as my fate I will feel like I failed and never gave my dream an honest shot because I was focused on a safer route...maybe one of the invisible scripts in my head....maybe this shit is just a hobby for me afterall, and I could have spent those 15 years learning more marketable skills and finding a good woman to marry...because now I ultimately want more money than a public school teacher makes, and to have a family. But this is where the path I was lead down(and partly chose) has put me. Seems like I gotta prune my desires and figure out which direction to apply my focus BUT, I'm also terrified of making the wrong choice...life is crazy and I wish I was born to a normie family, not a couple of glorified trainwrecks 🥲
Just wanted to thank you for this kind of content,I feel like this is where your channel truly shines and these videos are genuinely some of the best advice one can get this side of youtube.
This is spot on. Im thankful that I learned accountability when I did. Now Im on a job where growth is achieved through hard work. Going to buy a house soon as well.
I've been sober 5 months from alcohol. I'm going back to school this fall, I'm thinking about doing graphic design, in part because of what you've said about how you enjoyed working at Hollister and stuff. Computers are the future so i think it's a solid choice, i would love to be on the artistic side of it, and i know i could do it. Listening to the motivational side of your content has been beneficial to me. I've been through a lot, heroin addiction, long term homelessness, I've been to rehab 15 times. Now i have a car and my own place, life is so good. Thank you for being a good influence, it's AMAZING how hard that is to find right now
Born in 1980 had a troubled alcoholic mom with a brother who was taken and killed by some monster and screwed her up and she married 3 times and died by 50. And I fell into the same traps as well. Finn is speaking truth here
I come from the alternative world and I'm 28, and I'm realizing that...I've slept under Pavillions with bottles before, and now I'm getting a 3D Architeture Certification. Everything you're saying is true. This is a great video. No one is perfect, but we all do stupid shit in our 20s...and sometimes you have to start late because of it. That's just how shit falls sometimes.
I’m 30 this year, recovering from the trauma of my youth. Thanks for this. I give myself negative self talk and sabotage myself constantly in every way. It’s time to heal and fake it til I make it.
I'm 41 and I'm trying to get things in order, still trying to figure it out, and hoping for the best. Last year I quit drinking and I'm starting an online business. Better late than never 😊
This is eye opening. It invokes critical thinking and I think a lot of us need to do just that. I just turned 33 and luckily i have started to kill off bad habits in my late 20s. First was cutting soda six years ago and then alcohol three years ago. I have no self control when it comes to eating so i tend to eat recklessly like i did pretty much all of my natural life but hearing you talk about "the danger zone" really reinforced my diet plan that i recently started. Thanks for the insight and a break from the norm, Finn.
i turn 33 in 2024 and i’ve dicked around with what’s essentially self-help experimentation for almost a decade. while i’m in much better shape than i could be and stay quite active through work and eat a ton of healthy foods, i still weigh 300lbs and have tons of terrible habits. hardly any of my physical activity isn’t forced through labor and it’s hard to stay motivated to stay active for me due to fomo in other realms of life. however i’ll have a shit ton of fomo if the heart issues in my family catch my ass in my 60s… couch>marathon in 2024 for me - no more playing with fire, no more habits that don’t stick. honed focused goals are my grind this upcoming year.
also i’m completely sober now after smoking weed and drinking since i was about 12/13, and that’s been a major plus in helping my brain stay on the right path as i prepare for my upcoming year. for those struggling IT’S WORTH IT. two years ago i was a smoke-weed-till-i-die goon ass and i’m so happy i kicked that shit.
Man this hits home I was on the streets of Seattle for some years. In the last 2 years I have really gotten my shit together I got clean I stopped hanging out with bad news people. I started working towards a career I stopped smoking I have really turned my life around and I haven't been this happy in a long time.
Watching this half a year away from 30. Was able able to leave my 9-5 to pursue my film making passion 2023. In just filing weddings, but it pays the bills and it’s way better than what I was doing. Im actually stoked for my 30s
Just turned 27 here and I always thought I was ambitious and doing the "right" thing but I would always eventually let excuses stop me, in fact totally derail me, and felt comfortable with that. When COVID hit right around my college graduation year, and after several major relocations, failed relationships, and extremely uncomfortable "spiritual awakenings" (from occult to atheist to Christian) I've had an disorienting identity crises that's lasted about 2 years and put a lot of my progress on hold. Around this year I've realized I've actually just made a massive mess of my life and I need to get serious and stop feeling comfortable with a victim mentality or letting anything stop me for any reason. I'm done letting low self esteem, depression, disappointment, discouragement or ANYTHING else keep me from who I know I can be.
I love when you talk about this bc I'm basically on the same trajectory you were. Didn't start focusing on these things till I was 31 and now at 32, I'm so much closer to where I want to be than I ever thought possible. And I was on everything all the time until that "clean break" took place. Life's crazy
Hi great idea to share a videolike this. Many kids need some good real stories from grown men. My 20´s were a tough age for a man in this era. Considering choosing music as a carreer. Really felt desesperated and depressed like no light at the end of the tunnel. Spent more than ten years studying practicing auditioning and when I was about to give all up at 29 I have entered a touring orchestra and started to stabilize my life. My 30´s were awesome
Absolutely love when you speak out to a younger generation with advice Finn. 36 year old with two kids and a wife here, started for real getting my shit together in my late twenties, on exactly these parameters: got an education, focused on training and my health, paid off big debt while studying, found my now wife and mother of my kids the last year of studying and now have a stable job, film music videos , play music and do RU-vid reactions on the side as a hobby. Love my life but it took years of effort to go from absolute worthless to now, but worth it.
I spent my teens and 20s being way too put together, and I had to break everything down and start over again at 30 anyway because I was living someone else's dream. I was trying to be someone I'm not, and THAT destroyed my body and mind. I'm a bit more of a "mess" now, but I've never felt better in my life. I am FREE from the expectations of others, and working on freeing myself financially now. And the world does not seem so hopeless to move forward into.
My sister just sent me this video and I was praying earlier about just staying focused and like where I want my life to go because I feel like well. I know my mindset is so different now that I’m 30 and I’m ready for a change and come just figure out OK I’m ready for a change. I know I want to change but why can’t I change so I wanna thank you for this video because my little sister is between 2425 and you making this has really help me look for it to 2024
Really enjoyed this as someone who just turned 25. I might not be 30 yet but I look back to how fast the last 5 years were and I want to be in a much better place. I feel like I have enough data points in my life to look back and evaluate where my failures are and why. The part about you being who you surround yourself with is hard to accept, but true.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks it’s good to take care of your body while you’re younger, and not wait until your older. It’s gonna be a lot harder as time goes by.
This hit home. In my 20s I was reading nothing but Erowid trip reports, looking for the next psychedelic to try. In my 30s I read about vitamin and supplement regimens, and go to bed no later then 10pm so I can wakeup rested at 5am for work. Only allowing myself a few drinks on the weekend, and sometime to relax and maybe play some video games or watch a movie/show with my girlfriend. No more sleepless nights, tweaked out of my mind on addy. Those days are, thankfully, long behind me.
I'm 28 as of last week. I completely agree with pretty much everything that you said. Personally, my years of messing around were 14-21 or so. I am kinda happy that I started drinking and smoking young, because by the time I turned 22, I quit drinking - where all my friends were just starting to hit their drinking/freedom phase. After quitting drinking, I was able to see that I was basically just enjoying a life of headonism and escapeism, yes it was a lot of fun and I have some great stories now, but I saw clearly that I needed some sort of direction. I think the most important thing for people in their early 20's to know is - don't worry about what most people are doing, find what works for you and become the best one around, whatever it is. If you asked me at 21 where I would be by 28, I would have likely told you dead or in prison, and happy to say that neither of those things have happened...yet. Also, as you said, fake it till you make it works 90% of the time.
I’d like to give you big props to bringing yourself in the right direction. I work as a Correctional Officer and a vast majority of my “clientele” had a terrible upbringing. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” is very true. So good on you for making your own path and being a good role model. You deserve it.
I have spent a lot of hours worrying about doing things that have been in operation for over 10 years. They still work. It feels like fake it till you make it, but sometimes you just need that "well eff it" confidence.
So much of this resonated with me. I have coasted through life by not engaging with it, thereby avoiding and running from the generational trauma in my family. Not something I recommend doing, by the way. Like attracts like is scary true. My wife's generational trauma is similar, but worse than mine, somehow. We weirdly both chose the same route/approach with regards to relationships, but diverged when it came to careers and health. I have finally convinced her to do something to improve her health and she has greatly assisted me in getting my shit together in starting a career in a new business, at the young age of 43. I feel like I am just about mature enough to start engaging in and working on my own life. Never too late to start living your most authentic self. If you are struggling, good luck. Keep at it, even if it is just one small step in the right direction, choose to take it each day. I squandered multiple opportunities when I was younger, but my choices made me who I am now and I don't regret it now (the majority of the choices, that is). Stay strong, stay healthy, internet ppl.
