I just left a job I absolutely love because the owner of the restaurant is a malignant narcissist. I found out on my last day that she had been going around telling my coworkers and customers that I’m fake and that my happiness is an act! The funny thing....she is really just talking about herself. It hurt me because I am sensitive and kind and a people person naturally but I was able to let it go rather quickly. I saw this woman for who she was and she couldn’t stand it. I have no job now and no prospects but I don’t care. I am free and that is priceless. 🙏🏻🙏🏻💕💕💕
That is really sad that people cannot even handle being around genuinely happy people. It is like people thrive off of negativity or want you to have low self esteem. Then if you walk around with a mean look on your face people will have something to say. You cannot win for losing keep being you and dont change. True people will appreciate your inner beauty and approachable demeanor.
That says something about that person. Not about you. Be happy you left. Nothing else matters. If your manager doesn't know how to not gossip she shouldn't be in a managers position. Even if you are fake. Who cares? It's about how you do your job. If your colleagues couldn't stand up for you or didn't stand up for you, which means they also stand up for a healthy work culture, they are not worth your attention. I got fired two years ago from in hindsight the worst team and the worst manipulative manager. I really felt bad at work all the time but I needed money ofc... it really sucked because I was trying so hard to succeed. It was a culture with a lot of women(sorry) and one guy as a manager. The culture was just completely messed up and everybody stabbed each other in the back about bs to survive. When I left the manager was looking at my LinkedIn page every week on the same day of the week just to f with me. I wrote about my experiences and the toxic culture inside the team and sent it to a colleague of his. I saw him in the city once after and he was looking really angry at me.I said hello and moved on haha. I am soooo glad I don't work there anymore and have a job where the manager is very respectful towards the employees. And everyone who still works there is still complaining on whatsapp or manipulating.
That happened to me in nursing on my first job returning to my home state, and I desperately needed the work. As a single mom then, leaving was the last thing I could afford, and I had no one to turn to. Nursing itself is full of bullies; I pushed through though, rescued myself, and today my son and I work as a team and earn in a day what used to take a month. Staying true to self paid off.
@@laurielbrooks6079 Had to grow up in a family like this. Not everyone, but certain individuals tended to say hurtful things when I was happy and expressing my joy.
Wear sunglasses or respond while you walk away from them, it does not give them the supply/energy they want to steal from you. I’ve learned this unplanned. I see them squirm or laugh nervously, because they missed their target. If they can’t have eye contact with you, they can’t shoot.
Bmore Mom Nice! So, basically, when you buy sun-glasses you also buy narc-glasses? Now I understand why my former narc boss did not liked that I weared sunglasses. Apparently, she considered them to be offending. I told her that I need them because I have sensibility to light (which is true), but still, she barelly accepted it and only after several other people confirmed it. Should I mention that she was also behaving like we were rivals of some sort? Yup, she did so from the very beginning, despite the fact that she was the one who hired me. And maybe she needed to see my eyes in order to read my thoughts and plan her next reply...
@@eeaotly Thanks for sharing confirmation! Yes, they must see your eyes (the window to your soul) to extract the supply of praise/worship or release their insidious abuse, so they want to see your fear, pain, anger, etc... Yeah narc-shield-glasses!
being with a toxic person makes US into a toxic person. the way other people think WE are the toxic one instead of them & how we have to adjust our behavior around them just to get by--appearing and acting toxic ourselves! 😖🥴
It really is easy to adapt, i mean they say "you're who you hang out with" that sucks, so get rid of them is the best rather than waste time and feel bad by hanging with them.
This is taking someone's behavior and not allowing it to make you toxic as well. By letting toxic manipulation affect us not to act the way they do and instead of reacting to it just absorbing it.
OMG! The ignoring scenario! To the 'T'. At one point in my relationship, I naturally did the 'walk away and find something else to do' when I was intentionally ignored, and I later got asked if I felt ignored because I walked away. Inside I was thinking "you conniving brat!" But I replied "oh, not at all I just found something I wanted to check out. I didn't even notice you weren't around". The confused look was amazing! Sad we have to resort to this pretentious behavior though 😔
You sound like a POS, yourself. If you can actually take that constructive criticism, you'd probably benefit greatly. Fighting fire with fire is going to leave you and the other person both atop of 2 piles of ash, still bitching and blaming EachOther for what was done.
The toxic person does not deserve our positive attitude. These tactics are good to use while making moves and plans to end the relationship. The toxic relationship is not worth your while. Choose an exit date and commit to it. You will have sufficient time to plan and fortify your positive attitude. These people do not exist in reality. If they were a fly you would have swatted them out of your existence already, not turn it into a pet.
Also, THANK them for helping you accomplish do a,b or c and they will stop whatever behavior is irritating you. For example, my father in law would come unannounced to our house to annoy me. So, I thanked him for babysitting, so I could finish packing for a weekend trip we were getting ready for. His face of disgust was awesome. I just smiled in delight. He hasn’t come back unannounced 😀!
On the topic of timing, I remember one strategy from the guitarist and improvised music legend Derek Bailey, when 2 other musicians, Han & Evan, arrived to a recording session 1 hour late, as soon they arrived he packed his guitar up and said to them "see you in an hour, i'm having my lunch"
Thanks for calling it out. It's so hard to admit they are doing these nasty behaviors on purpose, but as I hear you talk, I know it's true. I've gone through 30 years of it with my husband. Always just thinking there is something wrong with him, like he can't think properly. Like his thinking is disorganized. But it's not. It's been calculated to obtain the maximum frustration and exhaustion of me. It's a hard pill to swallow. But, I appreciate this knowledge. Knowledge is the way out. Thank You.
I wish I'd known this years ago! You have shared a massive power source here for fueling self-confidence in the face adversity with a Narc! Thank you so much!!!
today I finally had the strength to dump my narcissist girlfriend. going no contact starts now! I have blocked her and deleted on everything. its time to move on with my life. my mind and soul is still very messed up tho, I'm so mentally drained i feel numb. I really need to heal.. if anyone can help me or give me advise I appreciate it, and I'm glad I can be apart of this community. if anyone could comment it would mean the world to me. I hope everyone has a good day, remember to love yourself
Don't let yourself slump into guilt , for stepping away . GET SLEEP , VIT B1 , AND GOOD MUSIC , I listen to Beautiful compositions , John Williams Hans Zimmer , serve the deserving ,include yourself . . Eat non toxic food , ease up on yourself. Be a giver , to others and don't forget yourself . , ❤❤❤
The moral of the story, do not be around people that make you feel uncomfortable. Especially those that make you feel as if you are walking on eggshells in their presence.
I'm expanding my career & redoing my office. Meeting nicer people & taking no BS. Boundaries are set in stone. If I say something it's short. On social media, I go on ocassionally: joke, tell how happy I'm & expanding my career successfully, without saying any information. I refuse to argrue, because I refuse to feed the beast. Redoing myself, for the better.
Great insights, always, Michele! There were so many things I did, as a young wife, that I thought were non-negotiable, such as traveling across the country to visit his relatives. When I'd had one bad experience after another during these visits, I came to a huge realization (Eureka!) I didn't have to go!! So I stopped, many years ago, and get a vacation from him when he goes alone. The relatives can think what they like. I don't care. There are so many wrong assumptions that we make, based in our upbringing, that can and must be challenged to come to a peaceful, contented life. Counselors like you, Michele, are so helpful in breaking the chains that have kept us miserable....Thank you!
5 лет назад
When we tell toxic people what hurts us, they do it more yess OMG how sad this is 😐
You are just so so right. All the silent treatment that he does to me is because im focusing on me and how i wanted it to end and how much it makes me so anxious and so confuse and hurtful. Now that i know his game all i need to do is focus on what can i do 'at that moment" to make me happy. Thats the key word. Thanks very much. Its so helpful. And when he smear me and is counting on my old responses to explode, that is exactly what i will not do.
I once heard the quote "Don't Oil the Squeaky Wheel" and I think it relates to the topic Intentional Mistakes. I fixed the mistakes of the narcissist at work and by doing that they became my responsibility and part of my duties. It took me a long time to figure out that it was a trick.
I've put a lot of this into use, definitely works, i'm not absorbing their B.S. nor losing control of my own world. They start moody, then unpleasant towards me, then self-pity, then some acting out towards inanimate objects (slamming a door, passive-aggressively put the dishes away), and when they realise they aren't getting what they want, they stomp off in a huff, often for about 5-15 minutes, then come back as if nothing occurred. I suppose that 5-15 minutes is as long as they can last before having to face who they really are, because when they come back they are in total mirror mode.
@@Rahel8811 I know what you mean, but I think as a tool it is incredibly helpful to keep them at bay. I think of it as like body-suits police wear to train their dogs...yes you can still feel the bite through the suit, but were you not wearing it you'd probably have your whole arm ripped off!
I love it Michelle! My x used to do this when we would go on walks together or went places together all the time. I remember right after our honeymoon I was excited to go to the grocery store together and cook a meal together. When we got to the store he literally ran off from me. I couldn't find him and I was so hurt,confused and devastated by this behavior. I just realized this memory was a toxic behavior of him ignoring me on purpose to control my emotions and steal my joy away. It still hurts when I think of it. Your videos and words to use against the toxic Narcassist are so great!!! Thank you!
I have beat myself up about this. I have to struggle with feeling like somehow my joy for life is not normal because of the people who have a problem with it. I eventually found out that they basically want you to become either as miserable as them, or want you to amount to nothing because that gives them personal satisfaction. Living with someone like this is devastating and limits your huge potential. I am finally taking back my life and challenging anyone who has a problem with me for any reason. I have tried everything to appease these people and when I was at my most vulnerable, all the things they wanted me to be, they used to reject and isolate me. They don't want to help you, they want to hurt and destroy you and they will always have a problem with you and the smartest way to deal with them is not to deal with them. Detach emotionally, do not engage and carry on with your life the way it was meant to live. You deserve to be happy.
I am noticing this lose of energy around two people lately. To avoid it on Saturday I felt I had to put a shield around my heart as I realized everything I said was being discounted. I am particularly sensitive to voice tones of people recently. Hearing how people speak to each other often feels hostile or passive aggressive with me. I noticed the person I am closest with when I speak with them my happiness increases and I do not feel I must shield my heart. Thank you for your strategies.
I can also relate to being ig ores in public. With mg family, Its like i have to tag along everywhere obey them and they make sure they keep you ignored and tagged along at the same time. And when I tried to move. They woiod either bully me to stay with then or give fake assurance. Sounds childish but it applies to all situations and gatherings as you gown up with a toxic family. I never had a say in my own choices. Ad now im so confused what they actually are. Coming bacj on track with them...
Simply intelligent and beautiful approach in dealing with these otherwise "tangling situations. " Thank you so much dearest Michelle for existing and sharing your wisdom. 💝
Sometimes people slip into these behaviors because they have been too lazy. They probably saw these same manipulative behaviors growing up and may not even realize how ridiculous they're acting. When I changed my expectations and calmly and lovingly refused to participate, things shifted and peace ensued. As long as I argued or let myself feel bad, nothing changed for many years. I finally grew up enough myself to see the way. Don't assume it isn't fixable...but please don't let anyone determine how you feel. And don't be hard on yourself as you figure out the difference. There's probably a good reason you're open to this bad behavior, but there is no reason you can't change that. Life is short. Make it beautiful! Stop being a victim of anything. Become a person who values compassion for both yourself and others. 💞
I give him a mark out of 10 (in my mind) and if he needs it, an Oscar. He gave me the look the other day but because he was about 20 metres a way, he added excessive shoulder slumps and a humph. I’d just watched your last video and breathed then laughed under my neutral facial expression. The funny thing was if he’d asked me about his situation beforehand, he wouldn’t have had the problem. Thanks, Michele!
It is frustrating when they will not pull their weight but then act like you are the one toxic. Or they will not even speak and do something they think will irritate you walking by. Like one person thinks whistling irritates me so specifically they will whistle while only walking by me. Ignoring them doesn't stop them.
What's best working for me is to keep the control of the situation and don't burst. When I keep my cool I feel powerful, this way they don't ruin my mood. Also lately I've had problems with a person who's trying to take advantage of me, he keeps on going into the personal zone and I maintain him in the professional level
I love these ideas and have tried them in the past. The only time I find it extremely difficult is when thier behaviour triggers an emotional flashback. Like someone struck a guitar cord. That’s when not giving them the response their wanting is a bit more difficult.
The ex narc tried to give me the silent treatment for 2 days so I finally got some rest, looked up a new hobby and sang in the shower (I hadn't done that in years) He had a major violent meltdown and started screaming I'm abusive for being so happy not to talk to him for 2 whole days. Ugh
Number one goal to deal with toxic people is top] remove them from your life (or remove yourself from them if you are at the beginning). The first one to remove is extremely hard and painful but every next one is easier. I did it, you can do it too !!!
There is an irony to all and everything you have touched on here Michele. The more of this IGNORANCE stuff they have done to you over the years, i swear, when they discard you(or you do.. them), your recovery without the narc, totally and utterly comes QUICKER. In other words, by THEIR behaviour, they actually fast-forward your recovery once you start working narcs out with channels of knowledge like this one Michele...so... ....THANK YOU.
I would apply these techniques particularly in respect of the 'look' & the 'moods,' however, this would often escalate the issue. While nothing would happen publicly, my 'non-response' would be construed as my not caring etc which would often produce days long monologues of abuse. So, while it might work in the moment, it was dreadful afterward. How would you deal with the repercussions of these very valid options that our narcissists will obviously very much dislike?
I just watched this & the video you recommended watching before this one. It amazes me how you put into words exactly what my ex did to me for 21 years. We've been separated for 4 years now & it's still hard to explain to people what happened to me. It's so helpful to be understood, thank you! That being said, your advice seems to be encouraging playing games & staying in a relationship that will eventually destroy you. The only time I could see using your tips would be with parents, kids & relatives that you can't disconnect from, &/or with a spouse/partner while formulating your plan for leaving the relationship. I DO believe you're not encouraging people to stay, but maybe you should preface your videos with that advice. It is especially important to clarify this because when we are in these mind-f-ing relationships we often don't trust ourselves, our thoughts or our decision-making process & have been trained to believe everything is our fault. As a result, we might take this as encouragement to change ourselves to keep the relationship, when what we should be doing is running for our lives.
Bonnie Newkirk-Rhoades ...Bonnie..have you been living my life too...Your response here to this video is so spot on with what hell I’ve lived for 23 years...I feel I know you or you must be ‘my secret sister’....
Don't Feel Along, Plenty have SAME Problem. Really... SAD When Its Your Mom. SOoooo! Proud of Those That Was Diligent and Pressed Through... Hooray... Plenty gave Up. Its A Powerful Struggle to live Thru.
@@priyasebastian I married one and it's worse living with them. I used to be a different person. I feel lost now. I have issues now because I can't seem to move forward. I'm never good enough. Sorry ranting 😁.
Always moving things around so that I couldn’t do things efficiently, especially in the kitchen. Or starting a big project like moving all of the furniture around, then leaving it in an uncomfortable and sometimes dangerous state, so I had to spend the entire rest of the day cleaning it up while he ignored me and sat there like an iceberg at the computer doing something so much more important than anything that I could possibly be doing, even though I was paying all the bills.
Its 4 am you helped me out a tremendous amount and I've only seen one other video from you. I now understand a few things more not only about myself but the people around me, thank you so much.
Wow, you nailed it! I’ll need to listen to this weekly, this is spot on!! More of this please. Thank you!! (Dealing with covert narc parents and very toxic narc sibling, which are way more difficult than my narc spouse, the parent-sibling triangulation & enablement keeps getting me angry & very sad)
oh my gosh when you spoke on the silent treatment. I remember with my ex when she would either start chaos or start the silent treatment. I would disengage with it and not allow it to bother me. I would grab my favorite book and begin reading. It was fine for a while, but eventually, she stopped giving me the silent treatment and started attacking me reading lol What a low. But I never understood it until now - thank you!
You are helping me so much to deal with narcissist behaviour and helping me understand why I always felt negative and worthless and why I was always constantly battling my feelings towards myself until I realised the source of where it comes from , and when I noticed that when I'm happy is when my parents leave and I'm alone and when I'm with sertain friends , I think you just saved me from myself and people that took advantage of who I really am
Michele. You are a Genius. If i had got this message 2 years ago, i would have saved my marriage.. However, i thank God i left, now i have an amazing person in my Life.
I remember when i went back home after a few years.. and mum got me aside and delightedly and with a cheeky grin told me how she invited all the ladies of her bowling club back for lunch.. she made them opossum stew.. and she didnt tell them till after they had eaten it... and she recounted with great delight , the horror on their faces! she planned and plotted it.. and executed it.. and had no qualms or guilt about it... and those women in the bowling club were so nice!!
Don't play their game, just leave. Normal people want to improve themselves or just be a normal adults. We all grow up with issues but we decide how we treat people and how we want to be treated. Reverse sychology, silent treatment that's playing there game it is easy to be a child like them don't make them wonder leave them they can wonder when your gone. Don't try to fix.
Love this! Unfortunately toxic people are all around us. I've had ex boyfriends, coworkers, and family like this. It is so confusing when it happens and can be so hurtful. I am always eager to learn more about how to combat this toxicity! Thank goodness for this education and these tools! They will get what is coming to them eventually, and I do not want to be anywhere near them when they do.
A lot of people are not mentally balanced but suffer from unresolved internal issues that they project onto the people around them. Be aware and have your guard up because they will try to take away your joy.
It is very important 6o stay strong in your own self. That said I have a few objections: while some people are purposefully malignant, the majority of “toxic” people are just not self aware, rather than purposefully hurtful. Secondly, many of your suggestions involve lying or manipulating the “toxic” person. Direct communication is more honest. Making up stories, pretending you are affected, etc. is just more passive aggressive behavior. If direct communication doesn’t work, then explain what the problem is and stop spending time with them. I moved out. Within weeks my “toxic” friend started changing their behavior. Without my having to lie or pretend or make up fake competitions. Especially if kids are involved, they will see that you are lying or pretending, and now they have two passive aggressive parents to deal with.
I LOVE THIS VIDEO!!!!💕🌸 I had a situation at work today and I was feeling so sad, aggravated and many more things 😔😣🤬🤯😫😤and I was thinking to face that person tomorrow and tell her so many things and you save my mind, my feelings, my Job and my mental health!!! Thank you I know now how to play their game and win for my own mental health. 🌸💕☺️🙏🏼 Thank you so much!!!
In Sept. I moved in with my daughter and son-in-law because neither household, mine nor theirs, was able to thrive in this horrible economy with rent that is very high. We agreed to split everything right down the middle. For both parties (me and them) doing this cut our living expenses down to very manageable levels. For me, it meant I was paying only around 35% of my income on rent which was wonderful. My daughter has pretty severe fibromyalgea and she is pregnant with grand baby #2 which is a hard road to travel. My son-in-law, though, has not held a job for more than about 3 months (and sometimes much, much less). It is his habit to find a job and then complain about not being truly 'fulfilled' by his work. I was a single mom and bent over backwards and sideways to make sure my kid had a roof over head and food to eat including working long hours in places I was not "fullfilled" by. My parents were Depression babies. They did much harder work than I ever had to do just to survive, so this "I'm not fullfilled" sounds like BS to me. The lack of fullfillment argument always devolves into my son'-in-law's "mental health issues" where he talks about how his poorly managed anxiety makes it hard to do whatever job. Ultimately, all of this job hopping and lack of income made him not have money for rent this month. He knew this would be the case in Decement, and he asked if I would pay all of the rent for January and he would cover utilites. I said yes, but I felt like that was the wrong answer. Nevertheless, when January got here, he reminded me about paying the rent and said that when I moved out, he would "pitch in" to help with the move instead of paying me back in full. Hard pass. I was assertive, calm, and clear, "no, you will pay me back in full for your half of the rent. I am not paying the full amount of the rent because I am the person who needs help with rent. You are the person who does not have his share of the rent, therefore, I am paying the rent to help you and you are therefore bound to repaying me your half of the rent and not playing games about doing so". I insisted that I got a printout of the amount of rent owed and a print out showing the rent was paid. Then, I wrote a contract showing how much he had borrowed and setting a repayment date where the full amount would be repaid in 30 days. I also told him that he was not being fair to his wife and his kids by playing the victim and refusing to work or going to interviews and *not* getting a job he was perfectly qualified for by telling the interviewer that his wife is disabled and therefore he may have to leave at a moment's notice any number of times a week- which to an intervier sounds a lot like "I do not want to work". For the last couple of days, he and my daughter have been giving me the silent treatment. They did this in December and when I confronted my daughter, she exploded (which I prefer to the silent treatment) and said she and her husband had been "sending all kinds of smoke signals" so that I would catch on to the fact that I was doing stuff they didn't like. I told her I do not read smoke signals, I speak English so a conversation is paramount to communication. I recognized what they were doing and actually used his sudden interest in helping me put up Christmas decorations to get my daughter in a place where she would respond to the confrontation. This time, though, I am just tired of the BS. I decided in December when my son-in-law asked for help with the rent that I was enabling him by just being here and being more financially stable than he because as long as I am here, he will see me as his reserve 'in case" he doesn't have money for rent. So NOW, I am getting the silent treatment and/or the curt responses and general behavior common to a 13 year old and not an emotionally mature 30 year old. I have been acting like I do not notice it at all. I am not going to be manipulated into feeling guilty for telling my son-in-law that his responsibility is to his family and he is dropping the ball. I think I said the silent part out loud and that irritated him. I also think that he doesn't handle responsibility well - at least not financial responsibility- so he is doing this silent reatment thing to cover for his own shame at falling short of taking care of his family. I like the suggestion of finding something I need to do for me during this silent treatment phase as I have been neglecting reading my Bible and doing my Zentangles, two things that keep me grounded and sane. At some point, though, I am going to mention to my daughter that this silent treatment tactic that both she and my son-in-law have coordinated is a symptom of a covert narcissist and that it is an unhealthy way to deal with uncomfortable situations. I will not do it right now but eventually that is a conversation that will have to be had. Her father is a covert narcissist and she was deeply hurt by his behavior. She will not respond to me well for bringing it up, but for the sake of her kids, she needs to see that she is perpetuating a cycle and if she will behave this way to me, she will do so with her kids, too. Thank you for your suggestions and also the reinforcement that I am handling this weirdness properly and to just keep doing what I am doing.
Such great advice! Yet the hardest part of it all...is learning the ability to fight off their dark aura. Fighting to be happy.... fighting to write your song.... fighting to smile through all the hell youre going through internally. I believe you really have to reach that place of being able to WALK and MEAN IT! That means you’ve allowed yourself to disconnect without the self sabotage. Forgive yourself for your toxic reactions back at the narcissist and rebuild. That never was you. You were just in the ring slinging mud back at them to save yourself! Look.... enough is enough. Be able to turn that chapter. Let yourself grieve and also let yourself feel the wind of freedom under your wings!
You was true,I have toxic people in my work place exactly even my soupervisor she a toxic boss on me,they are try to look way me to get fired but I’m very powerful to them I hurt them with my silence.
There is nothing I hate more than gossip. I'm too busy for gossip. My mother loves to gossip, it's all she does when I talk to her. In fact, she doesn't even care about talking to me unless I have gossip to share. I don't talk to her much anymore, and a lot of that has to do with the fact I don't get involved with her constant gossip.
Living like this full time is crazy making....I feel I would have to train myself not to be myself......which is kinda why I'm in the shape I am already. How does it get this bad.
I tottally felt alone my whole marriage but I've stooped to her level cuzz I was drinking which I stopped since the last time I realized me acting like the narracist cuzz my emotions turned to anger I apologized cuzz I knew I was wrong cuzz really not that person and grey rocked her since it's been two weeks and now she's trying to call me again acting like there worried about me as if I'm dead in my house smh I called this ahead of time I need a lot of healing thanks for all your help
Hang in there brother, my deflection shield was popping a beer when she started raging.. working on changing that since the divorce is in the works.. thank gawd...!! MUCHO thx to Michelle..!
U too buddy it's been a rough 7 years with mines she's been gone only two months been no contact but she needs to be off my family plan so she had to call today didn't answer but she'll find her way tomorrow she's keeping me strung along by a dumb phone bill she needs to get off cuzz it's so bad I want my money but don't want to have to see her for it every once a month so that needs to go now she's on Facebook with exes for friends and we both never used it before I never did anyways still don't much love brother
Stay strong, dont give in to your ego telling you "one day she understand how I tried to help her".. there will be no reward at the end of this for you if you give into her. I stuck around 30 yrs and it has seriously taken a toll on my happines, financial and health well being..
Sorry to hear that idk how anyone can deal with a narcissist she was slowly killing me couldn't get any of my goals achieved until she was gone crazy but I'm sure u can relate
I love you and your chanel, you are the one that really gave me valuable advice because you are the one who really knows what is going on! Love you so much! 💋 XOXO
My younger sister deliberately made me late to our parent's 50th anniversary celebration after I flew in out of state; I was assigned the reading. I missed the service entirely, and she blamed other circumstances, including her daughter sleeping late. I was too far away from the location to call a cab, and I had zero sleep for 24 hours; she had no empathy, and didn't care. So when her daughter's wedding came around, I didn't show up, and neither did I for her son's wedding, who would scoff at me during family get togethers; I didn't even send a gift. Sometimes living in another state away from family of origin is the best thing, ever.
Wow! Thankyou sooo much I can’t believe how these exact situations have arisen with 2 toxic people in my life and how I handled it so wrong because I was hurt 😞 I thank you for the help and will try these ideas ❤
You just described my situation!! I literally was ignored all day by the narcissist like I wasn’t even there on the trip with him! Him and his friend ignored me at the bar that night too so I made a new friend! He hated my happiness then got into a bad argument with me when we left leaving me looking like the crazy one!
Thank you for these really helpful tips. I wish I came across this video years ago. I can put into practice immediately the next time my husband pulls the silent treatment or behaves toxic in public. I appreciate this so much, thanks again!!
toxic relationships and toxic people are waste of time. Drop them out of your life, they are not worth your time, your energy and not worth of manipulating the truth just to deal with them. Michele, you basically advise people to waste energy on toxic people. Dealing with toxic people is still wasting energy. IMHO
this video honestly gave me ptsd, I was raised by narcissists, worked in a warehouse for 3yrs with gaslighting toxic people that acted like this, you reminded me of a woman that did all this to me and it just grew hate inside myself. seriously don't know what I'm even doing here anymore, I hate life and people so much. everyone wants to take my time, money, my soul. wish i had the balls
Exactly what I noticed in my relationship with my ex wife. Not long after marrying the putting on started to occurr & the stealing of energy started to happen. It led to a battle of wills as I'm a very straightforward person & just can't do diplomacy route to save my life. My honest mirroring approach met with resistance & led to our eventual divorce. Should never have got involved with this individual but was ignorant to this personality defect. I was surrounded by a whole host of toxic people that were all a part of the scam. I currently have this situation at work in an indirect fashion & the individual responsible has a network of flying monkey's. Since the breakup I can't believe how popular this personality disorder is. My ex & this individual at work were also very big on justifying behaviour with spirituality. The powers of the universe would entitle them to act in whatever way. Very strange how they would twist things to justify & the best one I noticed is if you have a good idea they blow it out of the water if it's not there's. They take good ideas like insults. They really are like children. Still battling with these turds but really getting to grips with all this. They really don't like truth & reality 😕
They love to walk a few meters ahead of you. That's a red flag with whoever you meet and you walk along with. It's like they need you to be behind their heels.
The silent treatment must be heavenly with a toxic person. But why continue a relationship like that?? I would walk away. Just pack my things and leave 🙄 Then they could just sit there...
I'm a narcissist's daughter... my mother is a real sick person. Was hard to live with her, without knowing her problem. I have no money to survive at that time. Now I live alone... hut a lot of people live the way I was... how to go out..
Wow! I just realized my not yet teenage son fits then I’ll of a covert passive aggressive. He has been difficult to raise since he was little. But I would allow his excuses and try to help. Th the info have gotten really bad lately. I’ve been working on boundaries and for a little while he was shaping up. But now he is worse than ever. I needed tools! Searching for tools has not been easy. This video is so easy to understand and give actual tips on how to respond. I’m so glad!! I am going to watch again and take notes. Thank you so much Michelle! You have helped me a lot! Love you!!!
I just discovered your videos on narcissist behaviors. This is so right on. EACH ONE. e.g. Passive aggressive behavior. NB Husband doesn't bring is cell, or won't answer it, and gets angry if I leave the spot he told e to "stay" he gets angry and I can't reach him by phone. He doesnt respond, Often and got a new phone upgrade. He will interfere with the relationship with my son by agreeing talk with me with him by phone and keep changing the time, or date. Treating my son badly by this and son seems very annoyed and not as close as before.
