I took a gap year to really sit with my pain and go through them. They were all so deep rooted from childhood. Once i was ready to move forward evrything starts coming my way. Job offers, money, new experiences, new people. I was hoarding clothes shoes and cosmetics because they were purchased to mask the pain. But now i feel content with much less. I’m happy 😊
This is why taking a gap year is so important. An 18 year old is unlikely to have all unresolved pains and insecurities figured out by the time they have to chose a major. Taking time "off the hook" away from distractions to figure out what the hell's going on can be crucial in figuring out what to do for the rest of his life. That way, he can go back to school or work knowing that he really is "off the hook" at school or work, and he's doing it because he wants to, not so that he can simply find something that hides the pain for the rest of his life.
Financial insecurity caused me a lot of problems in my life. I never thought I was good enough and never had a family. I can’t even look myself in the mirror over this today.
You're enough brother. You did what you could. You did what you thought was right for yourself or the situation at any given moment. You diserve love, as every human being does. Much love towards you my friend.
This is one of the most helpful videos I have ever watched regarding my negative and limiting emotions. Actually now I’m beginning not to look at them as negative, but just a wake up call. Thank you!♥️
Good brother, you did a brilliant job explaining how this level of suffering works. I can tell you from experience, it took me close to 40 years to get liberated from this fear over money. I grew up in a low income family in America and my concept and beliefs around money was as distorted as they could be. Years ago, I realized how all of this was directly connected to the lack of love I had for myself and my appreciation for my talents and skills. Thanks for sharing! Blessings!
Very Thankful to have run across this today. God bless you. I talk to god and asked him to release those mental blocks and barriers in my mind. Took a nap after a long day of work woke up, played this and with in 4 hours God lifted a life long struggle right off of my shoulders. Just working on the being Grateful for what you have part, trusting the process, sticking with it and counting the blessings not the problems area. Planning ahead, Pray alot and constant renewal of the mind as well. Today you were all of that wrapped in one, the renewal of the mind part for sure and just accepting my situation for what it is right now until i can change it. Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou once again.
I’m 52 and have fear of going broke and becoming homeless. Work opportunities have been drying up. I’m living with a fear mentality. Can someone relate?
Rick Munroe yes. .... I’m turning 40 next month. Have my girlfriend of 6 yrs. had money invested from my dad’s passing. Got some really bad advice and taken advantage of. Made some bad decisions. I have not drank in almost a year. Went down every avenue I could to try and make money moves. Ended up broke trying in the 5 yrs and I have absolutely nothing now and can’t pay bills. I feel like I’m being punished every day. I haven’t laughed in months. I had a cushion now I have nothing. And just got into a car wreck that wasn’t my fault. I walked away fine. Got a small check from insurance company and had to take it cuz I’m now so behind on everything. But now have no car and can’t buy one. It’s been a really tough passes few years for me and my girlfriend. I lost my father and she lost her mother and brother the same month. I hate the word broke but I truly am broken and everyday is now impossible.
Thank you for being honest. I think us men should reach out to one another more frequently dropping the "macho" act and communicate avenues in a more deeper open manner, as we are all in this life together - there is no real competition as we all end up dead in the end. Yes I can relate that's why I forced myself to act on multiple occasions reaching for the stars in absolute faith in my business adventures and somehow managed to get them going, making them work but the loneliness, burnout caused depression so I "crashed and burned" - success is built on a journey of multiple failures and they can be so painful - at loss of £75k in the last 3 years and I have nothing really to show for it but I believe in myself, I forgive myself and I'm going back to the drawing board, reassess and reorganise. One thing I did when I was younger and was scared of the car breaking down, I learnt all I could about the vehicles and that transpired into running a garage, it was a success till I stopped doing it also due to burnout - burning candle at both ends. My suggestion learn as much as you can about the things you fear - in your case its money as you fear the consequences of being financially insecure, get into a support group network - be open about what you are going through as believe me you aren't alone and being openly vulnerable to another empathetic soul will help. It's in people's nature to help one another and your right to ask for help so raise the air in your chest, walk out with your head high build the courage or forgive yourself the embarrassment and find a way. Seek and you shall find, Ask and it shall be given.
I never had a secure job. I was on and off job. Every time I got a job, I was just happy that I got the job, earning bigger amount of money was just not in my vocabulary. I was just happy that I had a job and therefore regular payment, I was really scared of unemployment. Now I opened my own business and now I'm basically forced to put a price on my work. I really don't want to be cheep and feel that I undervalue myself. I even opened my business because I wanted to exclude the job fluctuation out of the equation to stabilize my job situation.
Wow! No therapist has been able to help me with with my fears, but your video did! But, I don't think I've got any financial problems, but my dad always calls me a loser, saying 'I won't be able to live without them' & maybe that's where the fear is coming from, that I won't be able to be financially stable myself.
Very good video. I used to drink and bought new things to cover my pain and unhappiness. I wanted more money for my job and took up a high pay job (compared to my previous one) that makes me depressed. Agree with you this is a wrong path or direction I am going. I quit my job 2 weeks ago to start focus on myself and not running away from fears of not having all the things that I don’t need. I was trying too hard looking outside in fact I just have to look from within - myself.
Thanks for sharing your appreciation! Your radical honesty with yourself is the door opening towards liberation. I suggest you to watch the 4 videos that build upon this video at: www.alive-academy.com Enjoy!
What are good ways to process pain and trauma ? I think some forms of somatic therapy work better than talk therapy.. the root is sometimes hard to get to with the intellect. Great video
Our intellect is even designed to cover up our unsolved issues out of primal survival mode. I suggest you to watch my 4 free videos that build upon this video to get more insight into the matter @ www.alive-academy.com Enjoy your liberation process!
Wow!! 🤯😱. Although I’ve known we can use money to compensate for emotional voids.But…I have Never heard it explained this way!! Makes so much sense. Very insightful!! Thank you so much.
PRISON!! THAT IS EXACTLY how I describe it and feel it! THAT IS WHY I CHANGED MY NAME TO LIBERTY! YOU ARE AMAZING BROTHER! I was searching ways to help Liberate my audience on youtube of their financial fears and I found this...GREAT WORK BROTHER! TYSM !
I think here might be a difference between emotional freedom (absence of emotional pain) en physical freedom (absence of physical pain). I someone slams you, you will feel physical pain, but emotionally you could still love yourself en feel emotionally free. Although I agree with him that when we are emotionally free, we are better able to create a physically healthy life.
+RobynskiT I am not certain what you mean, but I think you are saying that you are feeling the anxiety now and it is based upon one feared occurrence (end of relationship) and also based upon a possible further situation (losing your income)? Your point in that case is very much like AJ Steele's above. The point that Tom is making is not how to solve your actual situation directly i.e. no partner and fear of losing your income... he is trying to say that if you transcend that plane of consciousness, it seems like a step in an irrelevant direction, but in fact you will bring about wonderful results in your own mind that will free you of mundane worries like we all burden ourselves with on the "normal" plane of consciousness. Why not give it a try? Not being worried would make you a better partner for your next relationship, apart from solving a lot of other problems that you possibly didn't even know you had!
If this video resonated with you, please check out the 4 free videos I created to gain more insights, I will paste the link here : alive-academy.com/ 🍀🙏💎
I listened to this multiple times in the hope that the next time I listened, this information would land. Unfortunately, it didn't. I'm sure it's brilliant if only my brain didn't hear it as being so convoluted. If anyone would care to break this concept down for me in slightly simpler terms then I'd really appreciate it.
Pray and ask God first, and it's not a overnight process believe me, talk to god about what you want for yourself and just work at whatever it is your tryna get to. The storms, the distractions, the excuses, ...the bullshit will all ways be there. You ask God and he will give you the opportunity to do so, he will test you right then, You will fail and fail and fail until you get it right. But lessons will be learned, wisdom will be instilled. Stay on the right path. God bless you
Hi, not having the resources at hand and having the resources at hand, can both be interpreted as an excuse or as a stepping stone to take action. The difference between the two is grown awareness. If you like triggering your awareness I suggest you to watch my 4 free videos at: www.alive-academy.com
I numb my fears by non-stop advertising my business through promotional videos and other forms of social media. And when I stop doing that I feel anxiety
This is such a deep concept, and quite frankly difficult to understand unless you are ready for that change. I thought I use to get it by understanding the ideas behind the law of attraction but that's so far from this idea of deep seated fears that we are afraid to face.
I believe the concepts are related because the Law of Attraction is basically the idea that a certain energy tends to bring more of that same energy. As Tom says in this video, if people focus on building walls and putting band-aids on their feelings (both positive and negative) rather than understanding the root causes of those feelings, then they do not gain awareness of them and end up living impulsively- chasing activities, relationships, and experiences that simply add to building more and stronger walls around their heart/consciousness. This keeps people dependent on their employment, their spouse, their parents, other people's approval, etc. for their happiness, and it becomes a self-feeding cycle. They "think" they are happy because they "feel" happy when they are doing those things, but it is just avoidance. If we just faced our fears of being alone, being sad, being judged, etc. and realized that they don't actually matter, it would allow us to overcome them and we wouldn't even need the other things in the first place to give us our illusion of happiness- we would have true happiness. One thing that has helped me immensely whenever I feel fear or one of its manifestations (e.g. anxiety, nervousness, worry, disappointment, etc.) I simply remind myself that nothing is really a big deal. If it is snowing heavily and I have to go out, not a big deal. If I get a flat tire, not a big deal. If I get in a petty argument with my wife, not a big deal. Etc. Note: this does not imply that I ignore those problems (because they are indeed problems, and ignoring them would have consequences), it simply means that I keep perspective and I realize that after I solve the problem and move on, it most likely will not have any major lasting impact on my future. Hope that helps!
The Story of Mr Roth and the Rich man - Once A Rich Man, met Mr. Roth on a Road, far Away from the City centre, Upon Noticing, Mr. Roth, the Rich man Suddenly noticed, that he lost his Wallet, the Rich man was very Well Know to all the Nations of the World, and Came from a Very Influential European Family That , Included Germanic, Dutch, English, who Lineage goes back Centuries. They were Very Shrewd , and Sometimes Fought over personal disputes over land Rights, Mr. Roth Adopted many Orphans, including from Native American,and Black African Caribbean , Hispanic Abscetry. The Rich man Asked Mr Roth if he can Loan him money for his long Transport towards the New City centre, under Construction. Mr Roth Acknowledge That he would lend him this money, under one Condition, Mr. Roth explained to the Rich man, that he too, Came from a Wealthy family,He Added that his family wealth, Came from Great Suffering ,Great turmoil, Great Obligations, and In order for him to receive this funds ,he must demand from everyone one he buys from that they explain this fact, The Rich man Was so FEARFUL after this Encounter, that he Immediately Informed All his Relatives At home, and Abroad, they In turn Became FEARFUL, Since then All their Business dealing and Customer were instilled with this same Fear of Mr. Roth. And in reality this MADE Mr. Roth A Very Happy , and Satisfied Richer Man
So how do you explain people that are being pushed to go higher in their calling and to strive for things more for their family than they’ve ever had and they have fear in that because of the unknown. How does this message pertain to them? Because you’re basically telling everyone that what they’re doing is just trying to avoid working on themselves when that is so not true for everybody. Most of what people do It’s going to be scary and it’s important to take those blind leaps of faith through the fear.
If you want to gain more insights on how to deal with this please make sure to watch the 4 free video's I created, they might provide you with the needed insights alive-academy.com/ 🍀💎❤
I have learned a lot about pain from Eckhart Tolle - you may want to check out his channel here on RU-vid. It's basically the way we all think which creates our pain. Just a suggestion.
Nobody has the answer thats why they charge. They blame it on deep rooted fears. We want money but obviously is not come in the way we want. We have to give something that people are willing to pay for in return.
The moments where I couldn't afford to live, was when I limited myself underneath a blanket of fear and the feeling of unworthiness. This kept the insight in my possibilities hidden. If you take away this root cause, instead of hunting for a quick fix, you will open yourself up for possibilities & creativity you can't even imagine that are possible for you (when you are still limited by fear and pain). If you want to liberate yourself from the root cause of all your limitations and open yourself for abundant possibilities, make sure to check my 3 free videos that will liberate your mind already conceptually: www.alive-academy.com
I deal in reality. Less money then there needs to be affects survival. The root cause is anxiety. It's genuine and its based in the reality that without the required money, you won't eat or be able to pay your rent.
Hi AJ, I appreciate your radical honesty and I understand what you are saying. What is reality? Isn't reality what we create ourselves? Imagine that there wouldn't exist any fear or in others words that you would keep feeling completely fulfilled independent of your circumstances. Could it be that that peace of mind would provide you with a clarity of what function/talents/job, really suits you? Would you than have any resistance left, to actually put into practice what belongs to you naturally? The biggest step to go from victim to true independent power is first radical honesty with yourself. The next step is to open yourself up to solve the root, so that others symptoms won't occur anymore. You can become an inspiration of someone who goes from being victim of external circumstances, to create the life you actually deserve, driven by inner, independent power and fulfilment.
Yes, it's what we create ourselves....or what has been created. I have to work with the resources I have. I have a certain job, with a certain income. Is it unrealistic to be anxious about moving into an apartment that leaves you struggling to make it to the next paycheck? My fear is reality based. I'm 53 years old. There's no higher income to be attained based on my skill level. I'm financially stuck.
+AJ Steele - I understand exactly what you mean, because you and I are still on the unimproved plane of worries and fears. However, I have seen videos from other therapists on RU-vid saying the same as Tom in different ways and I also have an ex-b/f who is a psychologist and he says the same as Tom, too. If you want a psychological theory, you can read Rogerian theory, by Googling it. I don't know if it's on RU-vid or not. It is a very scary prospect, but it means somehow getting to the original "you" before you started to try to conform to all the pressures around you. That begins from infancy, as your parents give you messages that restrict you or that you may misinterpret, but try to cope with in a way that is negative for you later on in life (e.g. your self-esteem and self-confidence is damaged). Getting back to the "normal" plane of existence, I do sympathise so much with your anxiety about how to pay the rent. Wages have not kept pace with the cost of housing. However, you have to trust Tom (and other therapists) when he says that your mind will do amazing things for you and somehow these tiring and unpleasant feelings about money will no longer be relevant. Could it not be something you try, alongside managing your existing sense of reality? I am sorry to say it, but the conventional management of your problem is to tighten your belt. Please write down every expense that you currently have, then try to cut expenses so that your income will equal your outgoings. Otherwise, share your accommodation with a room-mate or take a second job. I am not saying you should do those things, but until you free your true inner self, they are the options you have. Don't forget there are people in America living in mobile homes and even tents! P.S. If you have any creative talent or hobby, try to see if you can get folk interested at local craft fairs, or online using the "Etsy" website?
This video provides no answers, and instead points to a blog where you get four videos, free of charge. It's basically an 11-minute commercial for something that will cost you money. This is unacceptable, for I have no money because I am unemployable. I am unemployable because I am over 50 and ageism is rampant in my chosen industry. The root problem is that I cannot even get a response to job applications, let alone get hired. When a person does not work, their savings can run out. When that runs out, homelessness, starvation, exposure to the elements, and judgement and mockery are on the horizon. I was hopeful that this would provide an answer, since the title indicates that it will provide an answer, with "How." But it's pointing me to another place, where I have to spend more time, and eventually spend money. It's like paying to go to Trump University, where they promise to give you the answers. But then, during a course, they up-sell you and ask you to pay more for the REAL answers. This video promised an answer, but then pointed me to where a "real" answer is promised. I will not go there, as I have already lost confidence in all of this. It's positive thinking hype that answers nothing.
I agree...I am sorry about what is happening, yes we fear when people don't help properly, and luckily not all of them are trying to get money out of our fears... disgusting.... being told outside situations are our fault is rubbish, Don t listen... I've tried prayers, in the end people kill
