you're not the only one..I was procrastinating for a short while on not finishing my project because I fantasize the idea of making it better,while in fact I'm just procrastinating, stay strong we can fight this
+Venus Eleni I did and still do as well. But it's gotten easier since I've learned to give myself a break. Really allowing myself to be less than my ridiculously high standards has also allowed me be more open and accepting of others. Taking a step back really helps.
I think I may have something like that. I don't know if I'd call it depression for me, but it does make me sad when I either can't meet my standards, or more likely, I don't believe I can meet the standards I have in head (mental thing where I compare my ideal with what I've calculated as real in my head without having done the thing in reality yet).
@@mwangole7257 Hey dude I feel terrible cus I never saw this till now lmao. I'm overall better than before but some of the classes still cause me confusion as to what to write and feel confident about my paper. I'm close to graduating though so something is going right haha.
I'm a Maladaptive kind of person, I realized it when I entered university this year, things are still smooth and easy, but I struggle to get to work and i feel this anxiety and stress because I don't know what the limits of what i'm studying are. which leads to procrastination, long story short, what you listed in 2:07 applies to me exactly! What if others that study with me have covered the material while I didn't due to my stupid procrastination? i can't blame anyone but myself. how can I just be soulless when i'm studying? just straight work no distractions!! that's what i'm looking for! Guess i'll just keep working problem sets and see where i go from there.. You did a great job on the making of the video! really well made! thank you!
Thank you!! Perfectionism is my biggest problem. When you were describing the four big problems with perfectionism, you were basically describing my life. The bike metaphor seems like it will be helpful for me to keep in mind.
OMG thank you!!! You don't understand how much this helped me. I kept trying to reduce my stress and anxiety. I didn't realize it was my perfectionism (until 2 weeks ago). Thank you so much! Your videos are the best and have changed my life!
This entire video is so relevant to my life these past few days. I've been trying to finish a research paper, and after researching for 4 days, I haven't found the quality of research I wanted. Once I decided to write the paper with whatever info I did find, it's really hard to condense it all into an 1800 word limit. I've written way too much but don't think I've done a high quality analysis. fml
I'm doing revisions of my first completed rough draft of a novel and having massive panic attacks every day after it, and this video was really helpful to me. thank you
all my life I thought being a perfectionist is a really good thing but the more I grow, the more I learn that not everything needs to be perfect. I’m kind of really stressed out and anxious whenever things don’t go as perfectly as I planned. I literally ruined every relationship I have with anyone 😞😞😞 thanks for the enlightenment!!!!
I'm starting my career as a teacher and I'm stressing quite a lot about it. What stroke me the most about this video is when you said that a beginner shouldn't compare their results to the ones of a master. I've kept really high standards to myself about what my teaching should be like because I think I know what type of a teacher I should be and would want to be. However, I can not be that teacher. Yet. And that's what's not sitting well in my head yet. In this video you also said that the only person you should be vomparing yourself to, is the previous you. I think I'm gonna continue with this in mind. I'm gonna be a lousy teacher in the beginning in my opinion but at least it's better than what I was yesterday. Thank you.
Maladaptive perfectionism is something I struggle with CONSTANTLY - the amount of projects I've abandoned or have done 'do-over's for is frankly astonishing; nothing I start ever seems to get done because of constant tweaking and second guessing. Setting deadlines seems like a really good idea... I'm gonna try to do that more. Thanks for the tip!
My mind is blown!!!! This has been my problem this whole time................ I'm a maladaptive perfectionist..... Even now in this moment I want to say that I'm an adaptive because it seems less intrusive but honestly..... I'm not..... I'm just thinking that because it is better than my current state of mind.... I got some work to do. Thanks for relaying this message Thomas
Yes! This video is such a yes. I really like at the end how you said "The Audience never knows what you didn't say" I find that everyone has perfectionism to some point and it can definitely cause anxiety and procrastination. I know my perfectionism causes me to overthink my topics and it makes me want to try to so hard to make sure I say everything, to the point where it just holds me back. Thank You!
it's the video that made me realize a lot of things. almost an year now of watching self-improvement videos and felt like I couldn't do what they said with all the effort in the world (because I wanted to do all of it perfect), but now I realized the problem and I feel like superman, like all the tips and tricks finally work . Thank you!
wow once again, you got me. I'm a huge perfectionist but the maladaptive kind and you opened my eyes. I've gotten to the point where stress and anxiety have taken over me and you helped me understand and work on this issue I have. I'm always grateful for your videos. you are awesome and an inspiration. thank you.
My perfectionism really hinders my ability to have conversations and generally talking about my opinions because it always feels like I don't really have a good enough logical reason to speak about my thoughts. Recently I'm trying to overcome it and the tips in the video are quite helpful!
2:12 *Tut tut* Tom, man, you put in a typo! ...wait a minute... Oh, I see... Thanks for the video, perfectionism is always my enemy! It's my final year of university and I'm shooting for really high grades but I realise that the work required for that is putting way too much stress on me, so I'm coming to terms with the fact that I don't need to aim *that* high. Your video contains a lot of helpful tips and I'm sure I'll watch it again when I feel like I'm overdoing things. Thanks a bunch! :)
OMG!! Thanks a lot man. My particular case was that I bought a new pair of eyeglasses and was adjusting the nosepads and rim too often in a quest to find a perfect fit. It's been a month and I still couldn't find a fix until I watched this video. Now I have decided not to meddle with my glasses again and guess what.. now I'm satisfied.
Thank you for putting this out, I'm an artist and I had no idea my high stress and anxiety level was primarily caused by my obsession with wanting to be perfect at everything! Very informative.
This was so incredibly eye opening. I have tweaked my comic story a hundred times obsessing over little things and never settling on anything. I'm so happy I found this video, really opened my eyes to my deep rooted problem and likely the reason I no longer create anywhere near the amount of content I used to when I was a teenager.
I remember how I learned to ride a bike xD It was done in one ride actually. I sat on the bike that had one extra pair of smaller wheels which were broken (they weren't touching the ground but at that time I didn't know that). So, my friends pushed me and I started pedaling and that's it! No scars at all :)
I failed my driving test because when I started the classes, I went with the mentality of doing it perfectly, when I hadn't even been on a driver's seat before. This lead to so much anxiety, that I ended up failing twice. 🙈
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am definitely maladaptive, and I can't explain how happy I am that I found this video (and channel). Thanks for the honesty ..this was definitely a kick in the ass.
Thank you for making this video. I've always had problems with this, but I never put a name to it. I have problems starting projects, always wanting to perfect them, and comparing it to others'. I also procrastinate about these things, and it makes projects really hard to start and stay on track without stopping to perfect it. With writing I've started using deadlines, and it's helping me improve. I appreciate you sharing your personal problems with it as well. Thanks! :)
My perfectionism is so bad that I even try for my conversations to be perfect, pretty much every aspect of my life, and it has made me so miserable. I just don´t know what to do
That may not have been perfect to you, but it was certainly perfect to me. I've read and studied on this topic before since my own perfectionism has begun to overcome me, though none of those sites or vids have articulated the topic as well as you do. Despite being a man who will literally create short-term placebos for himself and his abilities because his rage to hone his skill is so gruesome, my heart has still been touched. (Thank you ^.^) I was also curious- are you a writer?
Just realized that my perfectionism is ruining my life.. Depression, stress, Anorexia, Orthorexia and anxiety:( I’m trying to let go off this mindset but I’m so scared of not being the way I want to be
Stephen King is one great author I like him as a writer, he has some awesome films and many books. I like mostly his films I watched a 5-6 films by him and I enjoyed watching them, but they are long so to watch them, you need time! About Mistakes, there was one book about Mistakes which was called "Mistakes" and there was exaplained mainly what you said here. So highlight that mistakes are important to get better in something, however there isn't a perfect guy. In one book I know only the name I don't know about what happens inside the name of the book was called "Mr.Perfect isn't really Perfect", so you get it... I don't like deadline and mainly because it's deadline, what happens if something happen like an event somewhere between this deadline like do it for 1 week or somewhere there and what happens if you can't do it like for example electricity stop or something else which reminds me for the book "Cell" by Stephen KIng in was said somewhere "You don't know what will happen when you end the call" or something like this!
Well I have the kind that causes anxiety and it makes me procrastinate ..and it makes me act lazy ..even though I'm not ..If I can ever get motivated then I do good.. but not with the sort of things you are talking about ..I am a house wife .. when my husband started working out of town I lost my drive to do anything .. we he was here I got up at 330 or 4 in the morning ..but when he left I stopped because I didn't have any reason to scrub my floors ..some days I don't get out if bed all day long .I keep blaming depression .. but I am on welbutirn which used to help and give me energy ..but now I feel the same again ..I want to do things but it seems like too much ..I've have a 5700 sq ft home and to even sweep takes half the day .. to scrub and wash them it takes no less than a week of full time work ...so I just don't even starr. .even though I despise feeling grit even one grain on my feet from the floor ..unless I plan to sweep for hours to get it all up I won't even start .. I'm had taken ever energy pill known to man... but I can't seem to shake this cycle of procrastination. .. I don't wanna get up because I don't want to see the mess and walk on sand on my floor .. I have all but stopped working out and eating right ..luckily I haven't gain the 50 pounds back yet that I worked hard to see lose over the summer .. I feel crazy and sad and helpless to defeat my own mind .. I don't know if I am crazy or if the things mentioned here are my problem ..seems like when I made up my mind to lose the weight I was motivated ..now that I am nearly underweight I am complacent .. ugh
I am suffering from depression now bcz of maladaptive perfectionism. Nothing interests me anymore. I just want my life to be perfect. I still set unrealistic goals. This all or nothing attitude will kill me one day. And I get anxiety if something didn't go like I planned and I avoid doing it completely. I procrastinate and I don't get anything done. My life is hell which can become heaven if I change this one problem of mine.
I'm 51 and I just recently realised that I may be a perfectionist - the maladaptive type. I thought it was my anxiety but whatever it is, I am crippled by it. I have had a hard time finishing things, and now I'm at the point that I don't even want to start, so as to avoid the anxiety and self berating of not being able to finish. I feel that nothing I create is good enough, so there is no point in doing anything. If it's perfectionism, anxiety, or something else, it's crippling. I feel so useless. Please help!
Ive had the same issues && it cause's performance anxiety like sometimes i get really tense before i play xbox to the point it almost ruins the activity i drive myself nuts lol it feels like i enjoy tormenting myself especially when you OCD. I used to drink a lot just get rid of the feeling but ever since i quit drinking i just leaned towards smoking more...ive watched other videos on anxiety its hard to retain it all when you have adhd
Perfectionism has stopped me from doing RU-vid. I record voice overs & any time I'm interrupted or stumble with my words, I record all over again which makes me never publish the video in the first place
You'll really know you're a maladaptive perfectionist when the off-kilter position of Thomas's red and black soundfoams behind him drive you into an apoplectic rage and you have to go to the ER
Oh God , this is fabulous and magnificent, i am really stunning with this video, this is exactly what I needed to watch ,, thank you Thomas , wish you always best of luck ..
thomas, i love this video. i got suffered quite long from perfectionism. i also love your small animation in your video. could you make a video on how to do it ?
Hey Thomas! Great video as always man. I suppose you know about the MBTI test and personality types. I've been watching quite a few of your videos, and I've been wondering, are you an ENTP?
+Karthik Mukund On his "Money Matters" podcast, he talks specifically about MBTI and said that after taking the 16 personalities test, he got "ENTJ" but said he feels like he's more introverted and gets his energy from being alone.
+rkm424 Thanks for the reply, I'll check that out. Perhaps he is an introvert in real life but the nature of his work makes him extrovert a lot more than he's naturally comfortable with? This would affect the test results to some extent since questions are based on one's daily life activities too. These are my thoughts, what do you guys think?
Karthik Mukund That makes perfect sense. He seems outgoing with his work and has to be extroverted in that sense, but I can imagine that he truly works best when he's on his own
Pretty good, awesome video. I just wanna to ask what about if I think that I'm not progressing in everything? I'm a fucking perfectionist guy and I think the feeling of think you're progressing is one of the biggest arm to overcome perfectionism. But, I don't think I have it. Thanks.
My perfectionism is so bad that I have handed in assignments 3 terms late :( it's because I'm so afraid of it not being perfect it becomes writer's block. It's so destructive and my parents nor teachers don't understand how hard it is for me to complete things. I have completely abandoned assignments and gotten really bad grades (which I cannot handle at all) for it. Majority of my report card was A's (the rest were B's) and I feel so bad because I knew I could have done so much better. I feel like there's no way of me ever getting over my perfectionism, any tips?
