How to play chess properly 

i've got to write this down 📝

Poor white pawn that went to spy on the enemy got pissed on. Friendly fire needs to be turned off for the urination

They didn't even have to roll the dice. Very good sportsmanship!

The fact the BBC logo is on the top-left hand corner makes this ten times funnier.

"Hurry up and play your pathetic card, Yugi." "My deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba." *starts pissing all over the field*

Damn, Garry Kasparov forgot to say Uno!

So this is that 4D Chess that everyone’s been talking about.

“Aww, that’s Christmas over.” “Kasparov is conglomerating his pawns into a Megachessatron.” Well, that escalated quickly.

How professional chess commentary sounds to most people.

Finally. After all these years. Chess 2.

I can't believe this sketch is only 2:23 minutes, it was so packed

I'm sorry but 1:23 _"Kasparov is conglomerating his pawns into a mega chess-a-tron."_ is the coldest fucking line

Love how the black rook is still inverted during Christmas

What a shame, if Short waited long enough it would have been Easter and he could have resurrected the Chessiah

"How do i play chess?" Google: *Shows a normal video* Bing:

"Mom can we get chess?" "No we have chess at home" Chess at home:

How board games expect you to play: "Follow the rules" "Play fair" "enjoy your time with others" How we actually play board games:

I died at "upgrading his queen to a hotel"

How did he even win??. He didn’t even call Uno

"Oh hey, it's Christmas!" "Well now Christmas is over." *M E G A C H E S S A T R O N*

How the hell did Short lose this match? His opening strategy was flawless and Kasparov just made mistake after mistake - he couldn't even make a goddamn unicorn and lost his megachessatron.

This is why they had to separate into women’s and men’s divisions. Men had too much of a natural advantage within the pissing meta.

As a pro chess player I can confirm this is how you play chess properly.

"plays e4" "that's the classic Rasputin opening"

He's such a good sport that he shook Kasparov's hand when he just finished urinating and didn't wash it

Short made a pretty amateur mistake - the megachessatron was clearly a trap to get him to knock it off, exposing his king to a clear shot from the penis. What he should've done is upgraded his Unicorn to a Siege Pegasus, then use it to take over China to get the 7 extra men at the end of every turn - Kasparaov would've had to roll two 6s to defend against the might of the Siege Pegasus. From there, you can convert all the men you get into mana to summon Emrakul, the Aeons Torn - it doesn't matter what color your pieces are, because Emrakul only uses colorless mana. From there it's easy to win.

Oh sure, when he pisses on the king, he gets applause; but when I do it, it's called tyranny

"still diagonally, some traditions die hard" got me dead 😂😂

If Short didn’t lose momentum to take down the Christmas decorations he could’ve spent that turn studying necromancy and use that advantage to revive units from his previous match.

The moment he filped his rook, i knew I've been bated.

Hitting the Megachessatron was actually a great play, it gave the person playing Black a huge advantage and gave them a chance to win using the cards, which could have seen him skip his opponents turn with a skip card from Uno. Unfortunately he didnt get lucky and earlier the spy had stolen his skip card, meaning it was all planned and calculated by the person playing white. Despite this White still had to use the meta and pissed all over the board, winning the game. It was clear the white player was pulling the strings the entire time

Hopefully we'll get these features in Chess 2

"He's made his knight into a unicorn, obviously playing the long game."

I was actually expecting an actual chess tutorial bit this was so much better loved every second of it

“Kasparov pissing all over the board” got me dying.

The way he casually says “He conglomerates all his pawns and forms a mega chessatron.” Is just so goddamn funny to me

Are these really the Queen's rules? I thought pissing on the pieces was only allowed on turns 7 and 8 respectively.

He's upgrading his queen into a hotel xD This is the most beautiful thing ever.

I love how this starts out making fun of chess opening names and quickly descends into absurdity

i realized this isnt how chess works after 1:24

This is when I use the Tennison gambit: Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Variation

I legit thought the inverted rook was a strategy at first like "is he marking his rook for a move later?" and then just " *_o h_* "

The fact that I clicked on this to actually get good at chess makes this video so much better

Kasparov made a good play by placing the spy in Short's ranks. That spy actually caused the schism in Short's bishops, which prevented him from making the Pope. The pope would have prevented Short from having to take down the christmas decorations, which would have allowed Short to easily counter the Megachessatron AND develop his pieces. This would've left Kasparov in a losing position, due to his lack of pawns.

I finally see why there are countless books on this ancient, complex game.

I always knew chess was difficult.

this is my friend's favorite video on the internet and i fully understand why

My eyes are watering I'm lolling so hard.

"Ahh this is an actual documentary" *Flips Rook Upsidedown* "Ahh this is an actual documentary"

Lego ads be like: 1:26

I came here to genuinely learn something about chess but I am not disappointed.

As a person trying to learn chess, *I'm not dissapointed.* *100% not clickbait*

The fact that there wasn’t one UNO reverse card played throughout the whole match really shows the sportsmanship between both opponents. Honorable win by white, and a well fought match by black.

I love it when they play outside the rigged confines of book theory and rely just on skill.

the fact he literally took a piss and knocked out the king is something

Seems Legit!

This is the greatest delivery of "Stone Cold Steve Austin" I've ever seen

Still diagonally. Some traditions, Die hard. This bit is amazing.

Little brother:I can play chess like a God. Also him during the game

My biggest claim to fame is that, for all four years in my high school's chess club, I played with my rooks inverted.

Please help, my opponent has inverted his king and has summoned the anti-christ. What do I do in this situation? I positioned my queen onto my inverted rook to form a gravitational void but that hasn't worked out.

Kasparov forgot to collect $200 when his pawn passed Go at 0:37

Chess in Ohio

"..into a unicorn, obviously playing the long game" Heh yeah, obviously

Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING could have prepared me for the mega chess-a-tron

Kasparov really took a calculated risk here, he had Short in the perfect position to launch an RT-2PM2 Topol-M Cold-Launched Three-staged Solid-Propellant Silo-Based Intercontinental Ballistic Missile towards Short's king, but decided to minimise casualties and prevent damage to Mrs Bond the Baker with his peeing manoeuvre. Well played

I have to say that this was very professional gameplay between the two. Beautifully done

"Short's upgrading his Queen to a hotel" good one!

Amateurs, Short clearly should have sacrificed 3 of his pawns to create a Demonic Bishop. The Demonic Bishop would have increased his faith by +10% each turn which would have allowed him to corrupt his king, corrupting the king would have temporarily increased his WiFi to 3 bars which would allow him to call an Uber. The Uber drops off 5 fast food employees which could provide defense against the piss strategy because of their public restrooms. He could then sacrifice his demonic Bishop to mana resurrect Cathulu. Cathulu has an exclusive ability to instantly raise the opponent’s wanted level to 5-stars. The military would then arrest the opposing king and Short would have won. These people don’t even know the basics of chess.

For the people confused, they're playing 4d chess in a classic 1d board.

Didn’t even move ANY of the pieces to Ke(π-πi), both players are trash

If they played like this more often they'd have way more people in chess club

It’d be funny if they added a little _”zip”_ noise at the end, then the players shake hands.

0:23 - I realized there's something wrong

"I cast AURA OF CONFUSION!" -Rook, 2012

My opponent has summoned the Kraken. What do I do? I do not have any means of killing it!

The fact that this existed 8 years ago back in 2013 is absolutely priceless.

The way he says "Oh this is extraordinary! Kasparov is *pissing* on the board!" will always be funny to me

Can't believe I could just piss over the board to win. The opponent just forfeits. Works like a charm.

It’s stuff like this that makes me wish I had a British accent

“she has won an oscar there.” “upgrading his queen to a hotel.” “full house” “look at this, he’s pissing on the board.”

That man is incredibly hydrated

*Normal chess in Ohio:*

1:43 I love how there are 3 rooks, 3 bishops and 11 pawns

No Game No Life episode 3 all over again.

i thought this was legitimate until i kept watching......this is genius.

Game analysis, book moves are not included Rook flip: good move, the rook did not have vision, but he can now see through the ground reaching their pieces. Unicorn knight: blunder, as unicorns are a thing of the undeveloped child’s world, you want to develop your knight, right? Pawn spy: missed move, as you could have played the foot long churro, which would lead to them getting an advantage as well as a tasty treat. Bishop church: inaccuracy, as they don’t have to be off the board for one stupid bishop to always be missed by my dumbass and everyone else’s when the opponent is trying to mate. Rook unicorn: blunder, same reasons as the knight, but what the hell is with the ones on the rooks body, is he trying to play beat saber? Christmas: best move, as Christmas (if you celebrate it, no hate to Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc.) is the best holiday, hands down. Chessatron: brilliant move, this brings you a piece that can shoot pieces at others, very op but this can be countered by Optimus prime defense Hotel: great move, now any piece on that square goes bankrupt, protecting you from mate on that square.

"Kasparov is conglomerating his pawns... *INTO A MEGA CHESSATRON"*

They had us in the first half , not gonna lie

Watch the amount of people coming to this vid after watching Queen's Gambit

I gotta love how when the pieces are playing football, the rook that reversed it's own gravity is still upside down.

I am a little disappointed that Kasparov didn't summon the Kraken.

Short's Stone Cold Steve Austin was a hard card to beat, but we all know that cardboard is weak against urine-type attacks, so it was immediately sent to the graveyard.

my opponent activated the Game Change card turning chess into yahtzee, help?

I had never imagined I would ever come across this video in my whole life. What a masterpiece! I'm just speechless! The commentary was on point! 👏👏🤣

Now the real question is... WHY DIDN’T RU-vid RECOMMEND THIS SOONER

1:14 this is the best reference I've ever seen

The narration is so eloquent and refined, this somehow doesn't feel like a parody.

Reminds me of when I won the 1932 world championships by summoning our lord Cthulhu.

I love the moment when Kasparov conglomerated his pawn into Ludwig the accursed from Bloodborne (2015). Truly one of the best moves in chess history.