HOW TO REALLY STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AGAINST NARCISSISTS AND TOXIC PEOPLE 

When we're in a narcissistic relationship, we don't realise the seriousness of the situation

The head games can get so deep and sabotage a whole life if people don't understand what's going on.

Become a truth teller. They are allergic to the truth.

Putting distance between us and minimizing contact seems appropriate.

You can't "stand up" to a narcissist, because they don't play by the rules. As soon as you exposed their wrong doings or logical fallacy, they change the subject. They will reframe everything to make themselves look like the victim, and they can "keep doing" that endlessly, until you give up. They will never be fair to you, because they don't want to be. They want to be privileged, and not even having to acknowledge it.

Don’t stand up to them. Walk past them. Stand beyond where they can reach. Keep them in your rear view mirror.

Look at the energy this beautiful,caring young lady puts into her videos. Keep the good work up. It's not just the energy ,you never want to leave one stone unturned. You have it all covered. Keep creating and sharing your peaceful bubble.

ignoring and no contact wherever humanelly possible is the best way for me regarding these personas. mostly grey rock or very short hard truths stated calmly when necessary for times where its not possible! times of tolerance with them is long over. their life, their decissions, their deeds, their problem! not mine. end of story.

My father is a narc and my goal is to learn as much as I can in this cause I don't want to become the very thing that has affected so much of my life.

I had an incident like this with my first husband, I left a little water in the peas, not a lot just a little, he said, I am not going to eat these slops, I bust into tears and shouted at him, I should have calmly walked over, taken the plate away and scraped it in the bin, any complaints from him, just say, well you said you did not want to eat it. I had four children, so I was cooking for six at the time.

It is true that narcs NEED you to react. My covert narc scum mother actually bragged about the fact she use to upset me as a baby, on purpose. She would notice me being peaceful in my high chair and minding my own business. So she would walk up to me and yell “NO!” She said that after she did that I would cry, and she would laugh. Eventually she encouraged my older siblings to do it. Still to this day, my narc family gets uncomfortable if I don’t react enough, respond enough, or care about their bs enough.

Sometimes we need to be blunt and speak plainly. Yes they all do probably know they are a jerk anyway.

OMG! What an appropriate example with your cooking story. I experienced the same thing with My narc husband and his narc mother. We had family members over for my son's baptism. I made a delicious chicken and broccoli casserole. My narc mother-in-law said "you made this wrong. It's supposed to have stuffing for the top layer". She said this in front of my family! This was immediately after she had told us we needed to screw down our fake banister more securely. We told her we had just built it and it was not finished. But that didn't matter to her she had to bring it up anyway

The only person that can make a narcissist behave, is an even bigger, nastier, meaner and more threatening narcissist, sadly.

They can be violent especially females! Attacking you in your sleep which is absolutely disgusting breach of trust!

Boy did I need this - I was looking for help in dealing with very toxic siblings - we will have it out eventually after the death of my Father - I'm just going to look at them and say I'm not playing your game- I don't owe you anything and I'm not playing your game- you've brought me a lot of peace - thank you

For me, The hardest thing to come to terms with and what ultimately saved me and which got me my closure was realising she just didnt care, she never even Liked me never mind loved me.. which was really hard, but once i processed that, the hold began to break.. and i finally let go. Narcissists and toxic people just Do Not Care about you...

THANK YOU, YOU HAVE NAILED IT, THE MOST INSIGHTFUL AND TO THE POINT OF ALL NARC. EXPERTS I HAVE COME ACROSS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A DOCTOR TO BE GOOD AT EXPLAINING THIS MALADY OF THE MIND! BRILLIANT!

Right on. This video taps into familiar painful experiences. Time stamp 16:25 - You described why I had to get out of my marriage. It was because I couldn't take it anymore: the guilt for not doing the dishes the right way, and expectation of dinner when I was overwhelmed with round-the-clock care of children (and I clearly articulated that with my husband). I was told I was a selfish b*tch. Basically, I never felt welcome in our shared home. I finally had to go. Hindsight, I can see clearly that narc husband tapped into my own insecurity about this and he played on it. I felt like I should have been able to manage everything, and manage it all with plenty of vitality and joy. I couldn't. And he fed on that. Something had to give; I chose to let the stuff slide which my husband could do for himself and to use my energy for children-care. I believe, ultimately, he wanted more attention from me; yet, lacked the awareness to realize that. And like all narcs, he was incapable of closeness. Without closeness and authentic communication, he just acted up instead. In a healthy relationship, we would have talked through this with understanding. But that wasn't the relationship. The relationship was do-able prior to kids when I had my own things going on, including my own income. It blew up when I was in the vulnerable place of working as a mom and homemaker, in the same place we both lived and our living environment was under his microscope. Over a decade later, I see clearly I should have said what you said in this video: "I know you want it a certain way. I'm sorry, I can't do that." And then not take on his projecting guilt. But I would have had to deal with my own insecurity, see below. Having a whole lifetime of trying to be close to narcs, I know every single one of them is about the song-and-dance (performance), and care absolutely nothing about closeness, getting to know each other, investing in the relationship and holding it sacred, and troubleshooting together. So then the relationship is really only good for practical needs (at best), and seeing our own wounds for us to heal. Nothing else. Expecting anything else is trying to get blood out of a turnip. Lesson learned: Narcs and toxic people can really only trigger our own insecurities; it's really our insecurities which trigger us. They have an uncanny ability in figuring our what our insecurities are. Ultimately, they help us clean up insecurities and set boundaries. Painful lessons.

The enduring cliché Energy Vampires is about as accurate as it gets. First there is a predation to breakdown normal human reactions to subjugate. Next is the extraction of your life sustenance as a meal. Further on the thrill of the chase is gone. No longer is normal resistance given. Welcome to the fog of compliance. Yet more supply extracted. Too easily. The narc mind kill thrill is over. You have reached the boring benchmark. To some, supply is rather easy to procure. One of the real reasons a narc entertained your company is done. Meanwhile the discarded target clings to life. It may be physically over but mentally the journey has just begun. That is a narc mistake in as much when clarity, knowledge and self care takes a vigorous hold, health will return with active self awareness. Once you get back to yourself, you are now armed with tools and in a way weapons if need be, of interpersonal engagement. An on board warning system to early indicators of all the narc tools used by the people in the spectrum of affliction. Never getting in deep again is forever engraved in memory. That energy vampirism has provided dividends for life.

A lot of narcissists would rather you put up with the crap than retaliate,I had to put a friend of mine in his place after he was trying to belittle me.

Yes ! Relationship requires a ‘ shared reality ‘ whether its appreciation and acceptance, intentions and commitments, shared values and perspectives. This means when conflict and disconnection occurs, you believe that we both have an interest is working through this, value and have intentions to preserve the relationship while maintaining positive regard and respect for both people engaged in this period of conflict. But when the objective for one person is no longer this, the conflict is a ploy to justify their attitude and actions that are not protective or sustaining of the relationship or the well being of the members .

Congratulations on over 3000 subscribers! Of all the RU-vid videos on dealing with narcissists, yours are the most accurate, sensible, realistic and useful. I truly rate your advice as the best anyone could listen to.

The narc I was married to and all his flying monkeys loved and lived for getting negative reactions out of good kind people and then they would all get together and share their stories about how they hurt and messed w people. The more they drove people crazy, the better the story of drama, the more high fives they gave each other. I divorced him and went no contact with all of them.

That’s terrific advice

Excellent, thank you ❤

Good job angel. Thank you for what you do from the bot3of my heart. You're doing an angels work home you know that. I'm grateful.

Your channel is SO HELPFUL! Thank you for all of your wisdom, I love your advice ❤

My mother was stuffing large amounts of money inside my birthday and Christmas cards, and it made me uncomfortable. I'm an adult (and not young), and so it felt odd to me. I very politely asked her to stop sending money, and she became huffy and angry. Nevertheless, I stood my ground. Well, she stopped sending the money BUT ALSO STOPPED SENDING CARDS. I found this to be weird. It made me think that the cards with the flowery words inside were simply containers for the money and that the words meant nothing to her.

It’s like, not reacting and not saying “this is not ok” and just grey rocking causes them to be even more toxic. Is it worth it? Why put up with the bullshit just because they’re a narcissist and want your reaction? The best thing you can do for yourself is just not care because you realize what they’re trying to do anyway and just leave the situation when it becomes super toxic. Like sure, they can keep trying to fuck with me with their ways. Why should I change myself or my reactions for them? It would just make me more submissive and just like them. Why should I have to turn into a cold and distant, boring person for them? It just drains my energy. They can keep spreading lies about me and talking shit because whatever people can think what they want. The more I realize how much they want to fuck with me the more I want them out of my life and if it has to be that way then so be it

This was amazingly helpful. Thank you so much.

Everybody is talking about go no contact but this is not possible for everyone we have to find a solution for the survivors who cant go no contact. Grey rock, ignoring them is not easy because there punishment can destroy you..

Superbia😊

Just say Oh I am so sorry you don't like it. Pick up the plate, scrap it in the trash and sit down and finish your meal with a smile.

It s only story telling 😂