My take always: 1. Let it happen naturally and detach from the outcome. Don’t seek that validation and assurance. Validate yourself and don’t try hard. Feel yourself and be confident.
"don't give a shit about the outcome of the interactions you have." So basically think about woman as items like where if mr beast say they will give you a ferrari and give you a buggati you will be ok with it? And so if you want woman X, be ok if you lose X?
I’ve done that and after a while, despite the woman displaying interest, I say, “Nice talking to you, goodbye.” I don’t want to come off as a try hard. Why am I still alone? 🤷🏼♂️
@John Coe being authentic means being vulnerable, and vulnerability is very suductive to both men and women. What you actually have to do in order to seduce someone is to show genuine interest in them and their life while also maintaining a bit of distance, focusing primarily on the person you want to seduce instead of yourself
Your comment was "I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard". I think that is so funny because of how much I can personally relate to it. That is what I meant. Sometimes the most simple of comments can be loaded with humor.
@@ВладиславБулаев-л3э Sorry, but "be yourself" is one of the laziest and most boring advice ever. I used this advice for a huge chunk of my life and my dating life was total crap. Don't follow the easiest advice there is. As soon as I started looking into specific mindsets and models, things I could change in order to actually get close to that "attractive stereotype", everything became exponentially good. Of course, it's not ok to follow each advice and line mechanically. You have to still be flexible and use these models as inspiration, agreed. A good analogy I found for this is "discipline equals freedom". Seems counter intuitive, but it's the truth. You have to filter and change your behaviors in order for it to work.
I noticed that intense eye contact with a small humble smile, a genuine approach and complete honesty works amazingly. You talked about being indifferent to the outcome and it is very true, it works wonders for myself and for those around me. As an introvert however I don't have much use for my charms xD.
I actually noticed this fairly recently too. I had severe social anxiety where I couldn’t even look into someone’s eyes while talking to them. But with my current job where I have to interact with hundreds of people a day, I’ve gotten way better at this. And I’ve also noticed that keeping eye contact (not too much to be a creep) and with a genuine smile while being confident gets you those “fuck me” eyes if you know what I’m talking about lmao. That and just people being more open to you.
Disinterest is not the same as "being authentic and not caring about what other people think about your true self". I think you just confirmation-biased yourself here...
Agree Francesca. When I was young I was trying hard, and you never get the girl you want. Now I dont care, just living my own life, and as long as you are happy and have a good aura around you, things happen you never imagined or thought it would happen.
Yes. It's an energy that is 2nd nature. Like a person is naturally sexy, and is like you say totally free from the outcome of other peoples' reactions. If you have it, you know...
I see what you're saying about not trying too hard. Attempting to seduce is still a bit of a spectrum in terms of trying. You still need social skills to flirt and tease but non-nonchalantly. You also need to build rapport, because only teasing/flirting gets annoying real fast. If only have the rapport building without the flirting/teasing skills, then it becomes a friend zone. You need to do both confidently without looking for a result. Don't react angry or sad if you don't get the reaction you want. You just move on and keep being fun, eventually you'll find people with matching energy.
Being yourself is not bad advise. The problem is these day alot of people try so hard to be someone. Don't even know who they are.. Should also add, be your best self. Always seek self improvement to be the best version of yourself
I love listening to you talk about confidence, self esteem and when you're talking about being a better, whole person in general! I wish you make more longer videos like this. I don't have any recommendations but i hope some people in here suggest good and unique ideas.
As a guy, this is my take: Looks ste.important, but they are like a minimum threshold. What really will get me to like you and pursue somthing with you is your personality, and how you interact with me. If you act cold, aloof, "femme fatale" etc... You actually look really needy in my eyes. This is because I know you are doing this because you are seeking validation. This makes me question if you really are the girl you pretend to be, or if it's all just a facade. If you are able to interact with me normally, without acting aloof, playing cool, being mean, trying to hustle drinks from me etc. And you are ALSO beautiful/sexy, that will make me insanely attracted to you. Not many girls do that
I dont know if you'll value this since you clearly are very certain of yourself... but as a hot/cold girl who has been called "aloof" I dont care about peoples validation or coming off desperate, I think I suddenly go cold on people because I fear intimacy and becoming suddenly afraid of people when they get too close because of the harm they can do at that proximity. I dont want to be hurt and I feel better when people are at a distance. People have accused me of "acting aloof" and have tried to insult with all the stereotypical bullshit "playing hard to get" "stuckup" insults. And it makes sense because it's hard to tell the difference between acting aloof and actually being aloof because there isnt much of a difference and a lot of men angrily arrive at your conclusion. Tldr; Some people- maybe teenage girls might have this reasoning but I wouldn't prescribe this explanation to every person
I have a golden retriever personality, and I'm very confident. I don't know if it is seductive, but my female friends are always writing me to hang out or see how I am.
this advice is actually terrible for women outside of being authentic - but even that might be a turn off depending what you're like. it's more advice geared towards men. women should put lots of effort and chase the man they want to seduce. try to help his life in every way possible, make him healthy food, clean his place, compliments, give him sex quickly and often, try to inspire him and encourage him, always be feminine, don't "be a challenge", don't be bossy, bring light, peaceful energy to the table. be an asset. men of value are seduced by feminine women and are turned off sexually by any form of masculine energy.
Funny. People know that you are into them and they don’t want it. People think you don’t care and suddenly they want you. Yet every single woman I know is asking where the men are that will treat them well….. hmmmm…. Couldn’t possibly be the men that actually showed interest would be willing to treat you a certain way 😂 PS. Most men who are good at seduction know exactly what we are doing. It might come off as natural and that we aren’t trying to hard and all that jazz, but we know exactly what we are doing. The seduction is intentional and we don’t care if it works because if you say no someone else will say yes soon. It is a learned skill just like any other
As a guy I realized this too. They don’t realize that it’s an act to get them. Like, as guys we can clearly tell how other guys talk to us compared to how they talk to girls but girls most often can’t tell that the guy is speaking to them differently to win them over. I’ve tried this myself and my god does it work like a charm. But it’s very tiring tbh.
Only a great phychologist who has a deep knowledge of the subjest and went through a same situation can explain this kind of topic deeply and briefly.❤
I think there is a big difference between men and women trying to seduce the other. Women can probably get away with just sitting pretty, but for men, who need to somehow show his status and wealth, it's a totally different ball game. Plus, I think, there are many men (including myself) and women who really enjoy the flirting game.
I strongly suggest you to part ways with anyone that tells you wealth is a factor of seduction. The only people that validate that toxic mentality are "Alpha" grifter on the internet that literally pays women to appear on their shows and insecure young men that use it as a cope out to not work on themselves and project their frustrations on women. No descent human being gives a damn.
Seduction begins with managing and being in control of YOUR own energy. Confident people walk more slowly, talk more slowly and deliberately. Certain favorite songs, if you sing them in your head, are great for establishing the pace. One of mine is "Ordinary Love" by Sade. If you can master this people will instantly notice you every time you walk into a room or interact with others. Mirroring is another whole second category- When listening to someone speak, give them your full attention with eyes locked on and your body language reflecting the persons own movements. This should be done in a graceful, subtle manner and with a slight pause of about one to two seconds delay between their movements and yours. Finally, since you are already listening intently to their story as if you were in their shoes, look for opportunities to introduce humor naturally, especially in tense moments. This shows that you are really paying attention and gives you the chance to bond through laughter. Thank you, Francesca. Jeffrey Z. in SC
I could listen to you talk all day. I really miss the European accents I had the pleasure of hearing while I was stationed in Kaiserslautern, Germany.🇩🇪
Most people ain't shit, they are fickle, fake, opportunistic and love to ruin beautiful things. Don't stress it, just do you and keep making yourself happy and safe!
You've got a point! It’s important to focus on yourself and your own happiness. By the way, we published a really interesting video called 'The Real Reason Why A Younger Woman Is Attracted To An Older Man.' It offers some great insights into relationships and attraction that you might find intriguing! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-vg1CyrjlCnE.html
The best advice I ever got on body shape/appearance/health was simply "Be in the best shape for you." You can't do more, and if you do you'll be seen through.
@@raspect333 NO. But you can hit the gym as long as you want, you won't resemble Schwarzenegger more than a little bit. As a woman, you can tan and tone your body to the best of your ability but you won't come out of it looking like [insert your favourite supermodel here]. The point of this advisory is to do the best you can, and not get neurotic that you don't look like a f*cking movie star because for most that's simply impossible and will wreck your personal confidence on top.
@@videowilliams okay i guess i slightly mis-interpreted your comment, i thought this was some copium and you were basically saying look how you want to look and that you shouldnt feel the need to change your body, but i understand what you mean now and i agree.
I think, for people who doesn't reach that feeling of self-confidence u talking about, it's hard to imagine how this might work. U r absolutely right, and the only thing I want to say: without practice in being self-centered in connection with people, u cannot reach that u want. If u just listen to the information, u'll not have real experience. So good luck:)
I one 100% back this up. This happened to me. Now that girl doesn't even leave me. All I wanted to was chat and have fun chatting and stuff. First she was ok. Then she doesn't even like being treated like a friend. Now I'm in a relationship
Attraction is subjective. There’s superficial attraction, game/similar humor/banter. Then there’s emotional attachment afterwards. The art of subliminal communication has a lot to do with body language, vocal inflections, words said and unsaid, eye contact, sexual tension, the dark triad, obviously confidence, genuineness/being real aka being yourself and if two people can’t communicate on a similar wavelength? Try again another day.
@@FloydRunner2049 Height, facial harmony, hair thickness, colour and shape of the eyes, jawline and body frame and symmetry are the most important factors when it comes to attracting women. The only women that "say" they don't pay attention to these things are the fat or the ugly ones. Humour, game,personality and other body language nonsense aren't going to fool any girl, especially attractive ones!!
@@nektariosorfan A tall guy with above average facial features but not so symmetrical will still attract more women than the average looking tall guy that is perfectly symmetrical
@@FloydRunner2049 Avarage/Ugly looking guy with great sense of humor + eye contact + sexual tension blablabla = CREEP. If you want good dating advice never ask woman. Always ask guy who is getting all the girls. You will notice how important genetics are. Stop BS yourself and eat blue pills.
Yeah, this is kinda weird but interesting analogy. Back in highschool there are girls from school who likes me but the person I'm attracted to and I'm trying to get doesn't seem to like me, it's like the more you try the more they won't be attracted to you and the more you "chill" and just be friendly the more they become attracted to you. Which is kinda hard because you can't really control your feelings LOL
I kinda agree and disagree. Seduction is not a passive act, it involves effort and planning. Like birds and other animals we have a mating ritual too. The hardest truth about seduction, is to understand that you cannot seduce anyone. Some people do not share a common destiny. You must figure out if the person of interest resonates with your character, if so, the ritual can begin, otherwise you will waste precious time. As for being yourself and just let things turn out all by themselves I would reconsider. I would recommend to never be boring, rather build an exciting aura around your personality. Make sure that the other persons understands your motives. If I don’t communicate that I want more than a platonic relationship it will never happen. However, being very natural and spontaneous is also very seductive.
I think you missed the point of the video. You thinking too much. Planning and strategizing is a charade, if you confident and boring, youre mysterious. Women get turn on by realness like a boring man that exudes confidence. What does this man offer that makes him so confident when he doesn have an "exiting aura". Really i suggest you watch the video again.
@@kivupaterson8082 YOU missed the point of the commenter. It's true that you can't just seduce anyone. It's not like life is that simple that anybody can just seduce whoever they are interested in. And ACTING confident and aloof is in itself planning - you are going against your natural behavior if that's not how you typically are. That in itself is strategizing, to behave in a specific way not normal to your usual behavior. But none of that will work if the guy isn't interested in you in the first place... there has to be attraction and that has to be mutually understood otherwise the "seduction" isn't going anywhere. Now, if you are already involved or becoming involved with someone, then sure this strategy or charade of exuding confidence and not caring about the outcome could work - but it doesn't guarantee sustainability because again, just as you pointed out, it is a strategy and a charade... it is a manipulation tactic. And if that is not how someone naturally is, then they are simply pretending and nobody can keep that up pretending in the long term. Because reality is, you ARE concerned about the outcome and you can't put that off forever if that truly is not your personality (for a multitude of reasons). An honest relationship where you don't have to play any of these games and can simply be yourself because the other person is just as invested in you, that is best. It is however, a good gauge when to disengage with somebody who is simply not that interested in you or giving you what you need... if you have to play seduction games that go against your personality, then that person may not be fore you.
In my 30+ years of life, I can vouch that being passive and waiting for things to fall on one's lap by "being yourself" will just result in nothing ever happening romantically. Especially as an average guy who is not exceptionally attractive. One has to be decisive and make the move when the opportunity presents itself. If one does not know how to act upon it, it will slip by. That's why being prepared is important. There's a saying luck is when opportunity meets preparation.
@@rivap.4791My friend maybe when YOU think confidence, YOU think ACTING. To that, yes you're right, it would be manipulation, planning, strategizing and honestly, its to much work. Life is better lived without much thinking and following your gut in the moment.
@@jys365 Seduction may require being active to the guy who is always passive. To the guy who is always active Seduction will be passive. If you don't understand, the guy always active is constantly making decisive choices, naturally. I personal don't make them, I just listen to my gut, always. Yeah
I totally understand and I 💯 agree.. But the problem is I don't even know how to be myself anymore, I don't even know myself. 😅 Maybe I've been trying to be another person for too long.
"A powerful seducer will not even try to seduce you. It just happens naturally, they're very relaxed and charming." Aka, if you run across an extremely attractive individual, he/she will be passively "seducing" you because they actually aren't trying. You're just innately attracted to them. This is such a silly drawn out explanation that attraction is pretty much physicality, so you'll naturally perceive everything they do as seduction because you want them. If they're picking their nose, they're "bold", if they aren't talkative they're "mysterious", if they're talkative, they're "confident"! GASP, and they didn't even try. I wonder why... lmfao.
It's true but it's just the basics. Also you forgot to mention that this is how mostly females are "seduced" and this is exactly why it is easier to hook-up with chicks I dont care about at all than to try to start a full on romantic relationship with a girl I actually like and hence get careful , conscious of myself and impressed by her and hence generate chances of getting friendzoned , so at the end of the day it again comes down to stuff that I MUST learn a hack of neutralizing a girl whom I actually like and adore... OR ....females can learn to choose better mates for themselves by overlooking or accepting simple mistake or fault of men of being obvious or too obvious of a seducer by simply unlearning their wired broken record that "men obviously interested in you are bad". Why it all has to be sneaky or salesman-like is beyond me.
You are worried that if they know you are interested in them they will not be interested? So you have to play it cool? If yes then just stop wasting time with "kids" and find a woman who isn't interested in playing games. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes;)
@@Ifidreamitidoit3566 its not a game, its biology :) women's subcoinsiousness is controlled by hormones, only grow ups (women in mid to late 20s tend to control these much better than teen girls)... thats the fact
hey, just wanted to say dont listen to that broad above, she's never had to attract women as a guy, be nonchalant and ull get the girl, it works for most women cause its their nature, if they think they have u they wont want u anymore.
Speaking of anything in life from getting a job to an award to a raise to a love partner the harder you try the more you drift away from authenticity. Have a goal but be flexible and not need the goal as you work toward it. You’ll always win.
Hey, could you pls cover the topic of friends becoming lovers, and if a girl could have feelings for her friend when they’ve been friends for a long time? Like would she stay friends with you bc she’s too shy? Or could she develop feelings later on in the friendship? Context: Ik it sounds like I’ve been friend-zoned but honestly I’m not super into her, it’s just she gives hints every now and then, idk if it means she likes me or if I’m overthinking, but her sister (and everyone else lol) also says she likes me as well, but I have no idea. If she does like me she hides it really well.
Ofc you can break out of the friendzone (which mostly is a "not NOW" instead of a "NOT AT ALL interested), create a natural situation where you're alone and be bold, playing the long game won't do it
That's a really interesting situation, and it's definitely worth exploring the dynamics of friends potentially becoming lovers. I found a video called 'The Truth About: We're Just Friends!' that might give you some useful insights into whether she could have feelings for you and how to interpret those hints. It’s definitely worth a watch! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-dHZvA5ZlbxU.html
Trying not to try is still trying. The solution is letting go which is a habit and a state which you practice through meditation and other spiritual practices.
Indeed, accepting yourself and your limits and trying to surpass yourself is the way to gain self confidence. Also, not caring of what others may think, keep being yourself and working on yourself is the only way to live your life and eventually attract the right people. It's also true that if you don't try to talk to someone you like and never try to do a first step, probably people won't do that too.
Best seduction advice on the Internet. Proposal: What do you do, as a guy, when a woman smiles at you on the street, in the subway or in any public setting?
be yourself, but add some little things that will make a difference. If you are a complete fake, it will fail a lot, but if you are just there the same way you are with anyone else, will fail a lot too. Show interest, look at the eyes for moments and enjoy the view(cause you like this person right?), be more willing to smile, take some deep breath from time to time even if you feel you don't need it at the moment, stand facing towards the person, not too close... and some little things like this, but the rest just keep it real... Plus, getting in shape wont assure anything but will give you health and when it materializes the other person will enjoy it a lot more, so no excuses like "have to love me how I'm".
So, is it bad to fall in love or get a crush? Because, as you said in your example if the traditional guys falls in love with the confident guy, that implies that the first guy lack of confidence or has insecurities that drain his confidence. So, is it better to visit a therapist if someone is about to get a crush with someone else?
Shirley McLain once said of her brother Warren Beatty, that he doesn't make women fall in love with him, he makes them fall in love with themselves. Make her feel good about herself, not by complimenting her but by letting her shine.
My years of experience have taught me that usually, the realest and most useful advices are the simplest ones. Just be natural. Nature has a way of making things work and you going out of your way to make a connection work would interfere with nature's methods. If everything had to be perfect in order for it to work out, then humanity wouldn't have made it this far because none of us are perfect and no moment is the perfect moment.
Thanks for this, being the person who is loved by all is my goal and I'm investing great effort to that but it ends up with exhausting myself, I remember when I don't really care if someone likes me or not but when someone confessed to me that almost all the girls liked me, it changed my life, I get so worked up that i get to the point where I'm focusing on how to be loved by others but now I'm awoken thanks, it really helped me to be my own self again.
apparently the most powerful seducer i know has a youtuber channel with lots psychology contents. She seduces me everytime she uploaded a new videos talking about pyschology i know it. Im falling inlove with her without knowing why.
People saying this doesnt work for them are simply looking at it the wrong way. This is like someone telling you that the best way to make lemonade is with lemons, but you only have apples. If you are already as or more attractive as Francesca please follow her advice, it will work wonders. If you are not as physically attractive please do the opposite and just try really hard and there may be a chance that you get someone's attention. If you don't the person you want to seduce won't even know you exist because you aren't attracting them in any way. If there were two people following this videos advice and one was clearly more physically attractive who do you think would more successful seducing? Now add the factor that you aren't the only person trying to seduce in an specific situation/event, and even if there aren't any more seducers physically present, now days people have 24/7 access to an unlimited pool of potential seducers. TLDR: if you are hot follow this advice, if you aren't please try hard or you will get very frusturated when you put the same amount of effort as the next person but never succeed and they do
I did it. I went out in track pants, a dirty tank top, i didn’t do my hair or brush my teeth. Girls were pointing and trying not to giggle. Some even snuck some pictures of me. It works!
My Japanese girlfriend like this kind of human-confusion sites since she's a Psychologist in Fukuoka also. I'm not a Psychologist i'm just an Opal cutter and miner but i can easily sense that what you advocate on your footage is actually represents You who's trying hard to find a partner... Am i correct? Reiko chan also agrees to my opinion ... Anyway it shows how (Intimidated-humans) are asking for help in order to find a simple-partner, regardless how technologically advanced and intelligent we are! Animals are doing it just like us Only without Complications and needless unassertiveness that drives more humans in to psychosis and certain types of Cancers!!!
All she wanted to say is: Stop pretending being someone else, over friendly and be open towards others with your disadvantages (but don't tell out too much). The rest of her talk makes 0 sense. Its woman logic. Seducing is happening by actions. By writing, calls, invitations, plans, showing interest for her life.
From what I've noticed, personality is even more important than looks. Wish I could get my personality back. Debilitating head pain without relief in sight will kind of do that to you.
@@eline7214 it is really rough. thanks! i've only had 25 days of relief since. I got an SO for the first time ever, that has made me feel alot better and not give up on life. hopefully that doesn't sound weird.
This is lowkey an excellent advice for autistic people to stop masking* and start to stablish a healthy relationship with how their feelings work, abandoning the weight of desired social responses. Mental stability should ALWAYS come first. * Masking is when autistic people force themselves to act as "normal" (neurotypical) people without social disorder, miss regarding their own feeling and mental condition in fear of not taking part of a status quo.
All of your videos ❤😊😊😊 are wonderful. You are different from your shorts ..... Very intellectual person hiding behind those beautiful 😻❤️👍 eyes 👀 of yours . Subtle seduction is the best .
I agree, but I disagree. See here's the thing: The most powerful seducers learned how to seduce, whether that process required effort or not is irrelevant. They now know how it works - not in in theoretical sense but in a practical "I know how to ride a bike" sense. Seducing someone takes no effort for them because it happens automatically, which is actually the last step of becoming a powerful seducer. When you did not naturally learn how to seduce, you start out by trying stuff and trying hard, because you're doing a lot of shit wrong. Then as you get more and nore practice, it takes less and less effort for you. You also realize, that trying hard during the interaction is not helping, in fact: quite the opposite. The learning happens after the interaction. To make a long story short: Learning to seduce requires effort for most people, however effort should never be present during the interaction. Effortlessness is a necessary condition, not a sufficient one
Girl that brought me to meet some of her friends told me they all liked me in a certain way, I was flirting with one of her best friends bit out of the blue after some drinks. Eventually here theory was that I was pretty authentic in that circle of people. I do think you need some degree of experience which results in confidence making you able to do it more naturally.
So what if someone feels like killing someone? Should they just do it because that's what they actually feel like doing? Maybe a more clear way to say "be yourself" is to "develop honesty," which doesn't alienate those who want clarity about what to do.
