Out of dignity, I will not lose to my fantasy because I am too proud. Even if I'm obsessed, I will behave as though the other person does not exist. I refuse to sell myself cheap!
Tell ke you're a fire sign w/o telling me you're a fire sign 😂 lol, I'm earth, I CAN do that, but, I would rather say how I actually feel, that way, there are zero regrets on my end when they come back, I'm able to stand on my word. That behavior of not telling me the truth at the time I'm being honest will bite them in the ass EVERYTIME lol!
@@BLESSFUL-Blissomg i am a water sign too! pisces and i relate to the op’s comment more than the first reply. i HATE expressing my feelings and my ego is HUGE lmao
woah, this has definitely opened my eyes. When you said "i'm sure this isn't the first person you've obsessed over" made it hit home. it really isn't. wow. thank you for opening my eyes. i've done a lot of reading and research and have studied psychology but the way you've explained this has been like a personal therapy session. Thank you so much. i'm going to give you a subcription
It's SO different when you get older though. At this age you might obsess over that one person because everyone else has baggage or is absolutely NOT your type.
Summary/ Overview: 0:00 Intro 0:50 Why obsession happens - Escapism 2:02 Childhood trauma - Escapism, Everyone has something 3:03 Fantasy - Idealization 5:59 Everyone is flawed - Projection, goals, meaningful life, take care of yourself, have choices, escapism - savior from bad boring life. Social, connection, community, needs, wants. Validation. Work on your self-worth/ yourself. 14:27 How to stop obsessing 1 Become conscious, its not about them, its about you, your unmet childhood needs, your fantasy. 2 Start seeing reality, get grounded into the present, reality check them and you. Get to know them, 'un-mystify them', 'un-fantasize them'. 3 Meet your own needs, what brings you meaning, solve/ work on your problems, self-development. Goals, work, career, hobby, community. Grow. Get focused. 18:30 Summary/ Repetition of the three.
I don’t feel like I have to fight for love but rather, because I was mostly ignored as a child, I accept and feel more comfortable with that type of treatment in a relationship. Someone who is unavailable, disinterested, ghosts me, disappears suddenly is immediately on my radar and I “love” them, want to suffer for them…it’s sick, really.
One of the most subtle traps to fall in is when a person used to be attracted to you while you probably don't feel the same way towards them, but all of a sudden all the interest fades away, if you are not aware you can fall into a big obsession trap that is a mixture of the forbidden fruit and curiosity about why the interest collapsed this way? What did I do wrong? Is there a chance for me to win the interest over? If you start following these thoughts you will fall into quicksand and end up obsessed with that person and that's going to be a very bad plot twist for you..
@@SinfulGoddess1 The desire is coming from your mind not your heart once you understand there's nothing wrong with you and stop seeing it as a challenge you will not fall, tell yourself that you already won their interest and that's enough the challenge is over nothing left to proof you weren't interested at the beginning why should you be now it's just a doubt in your self esteem you should fix it through your mindset and not by trying to recover the trash you've already thrown and were already picked up by trash truck.
@@lbuzzmaroc8944 Can you please help me because I find myself in a similar situation. If you are willing, i want to share my situation with you. Please help me as I want to come out of this trap. Pleaseee
This has been …. Surreal. Every single thing you said was like someone put a mirror to my life and I was made to see it through your words. Every single thought pattern, actions and behaviour matched with what I have been doing all life long. I guess acknowledging it is the first step, then comes the acceptance part and then hopefully I will be able to believe enough in myself to even try to change this. Hopefully 🤞🏻
Oh God, you hit the nail! I used to believe that my ex had this fantastic life that he didn't share with me (because that's how my life is,but I always shared and tried to invite him into it) and then I realised- his life was hella boring 😂😂😂 Now when they act all misterious I just assume they are that boring that they have nothing to say
This won't change anything in my life. I just have to struggle with this shit all my life. I think looking at myself as the priority is the only way to go for 3 reasons 1. The other person does not care 2. I'm indirectly telling the other person that I have no options and life (humiliating) 3. Their is someone out their that is not on my level the other person is obsessed with but was aloof enough to win. So I cannot afford displaying neediness because I refuse to be a plan B in comparison to an inferior person. It's a disgrace to my ancestors.
In every interaction their is always someone that cares more, and the more the interactions go on the more the other looses interest, so it's like a trend that eventually places person A or B to not being interested, one has to always place themselves as the one who truly does not care, and whoever does not care about you cannot be an ally, so looking the other way becomes the only option. imo.@@ContentWithNoContext
This is the most valuable video I've seen on this topic. I wish I had this knowledge 50 years ago. It would have helped save me a lot of needless suffering and heartbreak throughout my lifetime. It's not turnkey. It still takes conscious effort and work. But my God, this is valuable information. Thank you, so much for producing and publishing this video.
somenone had to put this in such a simple and straightforward way without overexplaining for it to finally register in my traumatized thick brain. Thank you! You have made the next steps easier
I never noticed that I was obsessed until I started to think of someone constantly and fantasizing. It made me uncomfortable but also curious. But when it started to make me feel sad, I felt it wasn’t healthy. After watching this video, I know what I need to do now and I really thank you for that. Everything seems so much clearer and also it did play apart from stemming from my childhood. I’m shooked 🤣 we humans are something, huh?
I had a great relationship with my wife, we gave each other space to do our own things but also made sure to reserve time for each other so It wasn't like we were joined at the hip or anything. But when she died, I became super obsessed with her and now I can't seem to get her off my mind.
absolutely correct. in just one video i could find all root cause of my obsession and solution. you are spot on. Love the way you connected childhood to adulthood
Francesca, your videos are so good I may begin obsessing over you! 😂 But more seriously, thank you for this and all you do, excellent content and incredibly useful..!!! God bless you always..!!! 🙏🏻
Nah, I think/obsess even when I've got them, it has nothing to do w the "cant have them" it has everything to do w not knowing what will happen w them that drives me in-fucking sane! 😂 If i knew he felt like I did, even though we weren't talking, I'd be just fine. Its the not knowing that causes me to have them in my head all day everyday. Absolutely miserable. NEXT!! 😂 And I dont want to be saved, its the potential of what we are at our best that I want to progress, but, those drugs are a NASTY thing, and ruining everything that was such a great thing.
Thank you for this video. Now I fully understand what my problem is. The last technique to build my own life is very exciting! I will be positive about my life.
Thank you for helping me...I've had this problem for a long time,years to be exact.So when I stumbled into your video yesterday,I was saved by all your explanation,so now I'm going to work on myself.Thanks a lot❤.
