Thank you Lisa for bringing -Dr Laura Berman on and giving us the beauty of being allowed to have a 'sensual love' without guilt... regardless of our childhood trauma's. And for referencing the interview where Sting said about 'love making' as against 'making love'
When a month ago a friend recommended the book Women's Magic Truths on Borlest, I couldn't believe how much one book can contribute to self-confidence, it's the best thing I've ever read! Lisa is the queen!
00:00 🌟 Self-worth is the cornerstone of seduction. Feeling worth it and confident is more attractive and elegant than vulgarity. 00:30 🛡️ Mastering seduction leads to self-confidence, which in turn leads to success in various aspects of life. 02:30 🔄 Seduction is about giving, not taking. It leaves the seduced feeling fuller and better, not depleted. 04:51 🔥 Rejection resilience is key in seduction. It's the ability to persist, softening rejections and turning them into maybes. 08:16 🪄 Seduction doesn't always imply sexuality; it's about attraction and creating desire, even in business. 12:06 💃 Body language plays a crucial role in seduction. Maintaining elegance, confidence, and a relaxed jaw are important elements. 14:05 🎭 Seduction involves a play of "yes" and "no," giving just enough to create a desire for more. 16:25 💼 Seduction in business doesn't have to be sexual. It can be using social charm, a unique blend of personality traits. 20:56 🧠 Trauma can hinder seduction and confidence. It's essential to address and heal these underlying issues for personal growth. 21:10 🪞 Childhood experiences can lead to feeling inadequate or not "enough." This may stem from parental expectations or other sources of pressure. 21:51 🩹 Childhood trauma can contribute to emotional wounds in adulthood. Exploring the root causes of emotional struggles is crucial for healing. 22:45 🪞 Society's beauty standards and societal pressure can impact self-worth and body image. Accepting and appreciating one's own body is essential. 24:11 🧳 Five elements essential for seduction: Elegance (self-worth), Intention (focused pursuit), Tempo (rhythm of enjoyment), Sabrosura (sensuality rooted in self-love), Mystery (where seduction and charm reside). 27:23 🔄 Sharing personal stories and traumas can be transformative, allowing others to understand and empathize with your journey. 30:57 🤝 Being present and feeling with someone through their pain or trauma is a powerful way to provide support and healing. 36:57 🌱 Healing from trauma is a layered process, and it's important to acknowledge and address each layer with patience and compassion. 39:56 💄 Engaging in sensory experiences, like applying lotion with intention, can be a simple yet effective way to tap into sensuality and self-worth. 41:44 💪 Embrace seduction as a form of self-discovery and confidence-building. Practice in front of a mirror or poster to boost self-worth and inner power. 42:51 🛑 Acknowledge the importance of consent and respect in seduction. Understand the difference between playful pursuit and crossing boundaries. Prioritize safety and elegance in interactions. 46:56 🗣️ When expressing a clear 'no', ensure it is conveyed firmly and gracefully. Respectful communication is crucial in maintaining healthy boundaries. 50:37 💖 Differentiate between lust and love. Butterflies and intense feelings may stem from past traumas and familiar wounds. Building a healthy relationship starts with inner healing. 57:06 🤔 Move slowly and consciously in new relationships. Stay grounded in your body and pay attention to the signals it sends. Don't rush into intense emotions; be curious and aware. 01:02:55 💡 Trauma healing often lies in facing the parts of ourselves we've pushed away, hidden in a "basement of shame" filled with feelings of unworthiness and unlovability. 01:05:40 💪 Inviting your wounds to tea, making friends with them, and understanding them is a powerful way to heal. Viewing them with the consciousness of your present self is key. 01:06:08 🌟 Identifying the feelings you want to experience is crucial in any endeavor, including relationships. This becomes your compass for decision-making. 01:07:57 🗝️ Separating the gift from the wound allows you to call on the gift consciously, rather than it controlling you. 01:10:16 🔮 Cultivating the feelings you desire through imagination and visualization is a powerful way to manifest your goals and attract situations that resonate with those feelings. 01:19:44 🚫 Relying on someone else to "complete" you is not sustainable. Sourcing your fulfillment from within is essential for lasting happiness and healthy relationships. 01:20:36 ⚖️ Staying in a relationship out of fear is common, but the pain of staying must eventually outweigh the fear of leaving for true growth and happiness. 01:23:09 🔄 Changing yourself can positively influence your relationship. When you raise your frequency, it has a ripple effect on your partner and your shared dynamic. 01:24:03 👁️🗨️ When partners connect deeply, their frequencies align, creating a powerful bond. 01:24:18 🤯 Raising one's frequency can lead their partner to automatically sync, akin to a Jedi mind trick in relationships. 01:24:32 🔄 As you grow and heal, fears that held you in a relationship may dissipate, granting you more agency in it. 01:24:44 🗝️ Having agency in a relationship is crucial for getting your needs met and finding contentment within. 01:24:59 🪑 While a breakup may bring initial devastation, knowing your happiness is rooted in self-relationship empowers you. 01:25:14 💞 Every external relationship is ultimately a reflection of your relationship with yourself. 01:25:25 🛤️ Choosing to be in a relationship and setting boundaries leads to positive transformations. 01:25:41 🤝 Emotional closeness and intimacy can lead to hormonal synchronicity among friends and partners. 01:25:54 🧠 Understanding how frequencies align can enhance your relationships and interactions. 01:26:08 🤔 Stepping into a deeper connection with a partner can lead to setting healthier boundaries. 01:26:22 👩❤️👨 The natural progression of a relationship involves evolving towards deeper intimacy and shared responsibilities. 01:26:37 🧪 Providing scientific evidence can be helpful in engaging skeptics in understanding relationship dynamics. 01:26:51 🧠 Our conscious minds process only a fraction of the vast information around us, limited by memories and senses. 01:27:04 🌌 There's an entire universe of experiences beyond our conscious perception. 01:27:19 ⚡ Developing your own relationship with your sexuality is key to unlocking pleasure and connection. 01:27:33 🌬️ The act of self-stimulation is essential for understanding and enhancing one's own sexual experience. 01:27:46 🕊️ Women possess unique abilities for multitasking and intuitive understanding due to neural connections. 01:28:01 👩❤️👨 Recognizing and valuing gender differences can lead to a more harmonious understanding in relationships. 01:28:14 💑 The fundamental desires of men and women in relationships are often expressed differently, understanding this can lead to better connection. 01:28:28 🔄 Men and women may have distinct needs, and comprehending these differences fosters healthier relationships. 01:28:42 💗 Emotional closeness is a vital component for both partners in a relationship. 01:28:55 🕊️ Understanding and respecting each other's desires can lead to a more satisfying and harmonious relationship. 01:29:10 🧬 Evolutionary and societal factors contribute to the differences in how men and women perceive intimacy and connection. 01:29:25 👩❤️👨 Recognizing and appreciating these differences can lead to deeper mutual understanding and harmony in relationships. 01:29:40 💞 Emotional closeness plays a crucial role in a woman's sexual satisfaction in a relationship. 01:29:54 🌟 Emotional intimacy is a powerful factor in a woman's overall satisfaction and fulfillment in a relationship. 01:30:08 🌿 A strong emotional connection is the foundation of a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship for women. 01:30:22 💔 A lack of emotional intimacy can lead to a breakdown in both sexual and overall relationship satisfaction. 01:30:37 🛠️ Men can enhance their partner's sexual desire through acts of support and partnership, such as sharing household responsibilities. 01:30:50 💗 Acts of partnership, support, and understanding can lead to a deeper emotional connection and increased sexual intimacy in a relationship. 01:31:04 🌸 Engaging in acts of support and partnership can create a stronger emotional bond, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling sexual relationship. 01:31:17 🤝 Balancing responsibilities and demonstrating care for the relationship contributes to a deeper emotional connection and greater intimacy. 01:31:29 📜 Understanding the societal and evolutionary influences on libido can provide insights into maintaining a healthy sexual connection in long-term relationships. 01:44:54 📆 Scheduling intimate moments can remove guesswork and create openness in a relationship. 01:46:04 💑 Spending non-sexual time together, like kissing and cuddling, strengthens intimacy. 01:47:29 🗝️ Removing the pressure for sex at all times can lead to more freedom and fun in intimate moments. 01:47:58 🪒 Preparing for intimacy together can create a sense of togetherness and anticipation.
I can't get enough of this amazing and incredible woman. Lisa, please,more of her okay. You just have to bring her back on the show, again and again and again! Thanks Lisa.
Lisa is so adorable how excited she gets with what the guests are saying. I bet she knows some of this already but she just is so amazed and enthusiastic with them!
Thank you for this. I can relate to what Chen had said... I would like to face the world once again with elegance and confidence, despite the pain and trauma I have endured over the years. It's incredibly challenging to show up every day as if you were a radiant ball of sunshine, full of confidence and spreading love to everyone despite being enveloped by the weight of past traumas - "adulting". I genuinely appreciate this reminder that it is still possible, and recognizing this is my first step forward.
You articulated this beautifully, I completely relate to what you just said. I've found it so difficult to exude confidence whilst carrying the weight and burden of past traumas/experiences that have stripped me of my self worth. But consistency is key is self development and we all have the power to develop self love and confidence.
The security piece is important here. If a guy is organizing the evening but they are not in touch with what you enjoy, get excited about etc, it can turn into feeling invisiblized and bored for the evening. But if a partner is in tune with you AND THEN organizing everything and pampers you then that makes the person on the receiving end feel seen. That is what’s charming.
Why do you put full responsibility for your 'enjoyment' exclusively on a guy!? Why, in this age of information, women still stupidly believe that men are mind readers!? They are not! If you want your evening or date to be 'special' to be 'as you wish' then communicate your wants to your guy. Otherwise your life will be an endless serie of disappointing relationships. And it's not men's fail.
@@zettcompact8586and if they wanna organise you a surprise event/party? 😂 no, if your partner knows you well enough, they'll know what you like and not like and take it from there.
Damn. This was a good one. I would love to see Teal Swan on the show on the subject of seduction and selflove. She is such a Siren. But she has also overcome great great suffering
Lisa! You are the feminine counterpart to Lewis Howes! You're such an incredibly effective interviewer who makes it effortless for viewers to be able to extract the most out of the information that is being presented by your interesting and eloquent and knowledgeable guests. Thank you for always choosing compelling and relevant subject matter and bringing it to the general public in a powerful way that resonates and makes it possible to apply that information, and in turn, to live in a more elevated, positive, and knowledgeable way that leads to a life of true abundance, self-love, and happiness❤❤😊😊
I love the way she says “Hello!” like she’s inviting life itself to seduce her and give her its best… It’s like she’s biting her lip at a possibility, at the unknown, at the sensation of intrigue, and I am LIVING for it! It goes to show that being seduction truly comes from within-it’s a mindset, and a mental state of being, rather than a behavior. To see something potentially beautiful and exciting in the world and decline the initial urge to chase it, to instead meet it with a greeting of open invitation… is so grounded in feminine power. That’s lovely. 🥰
Also this literally motivated me and has hit so many nerves this morning...in a good way. When she said that you have to rebuild and start over and you think something is wrong withh you and to share your story... geez... I would like to join one of these shows! Or even sit in the audience
This is extremely powerful I have been battaling with trauma for over 26+ years and just tried to ignore it forgive them pretend it never happened tried to block it everything you can imagine I have tried but it still haunts me. I'm not playing the victim I'm just relating to what your saying. Thank you for sharing.
Honestly - I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!! Seduction is so subtle and can encompass so much. AND it seems that this art has been lost in our oh-so-busy lives. This talk reminded me of a book I read many years ago called "I flirt therefore I date" haha. I had to hide it cuz as a guy, my guy friends used to find it and laugh about it but it was a great book on the topic. Well done Lisa and Chen......thanks for this episode!!
@@ChenLizra For me I've always admired so many things about women and it's usually always different. For some it might be their figure, their poise, their walk, their eyes or hands or whatever. But one thing that always gets me is when a woman will stay with the energy. It's sort of like when you were showing Lisa how different the energy was when you squared off your shoulders to her as opposed to the offset and turning away. Sultriness, sensuality, femininity, flirting and all that are so damned sexy to me but it seems that so few women appreciate this. I mean in this age of swipe left or right it all seems to be based on looks only. No energy, no connection, no mystery, no sensuality, no flirtation....nothing. It's just if I find you attractive it's on, if not, go away creep.
@@ChenLizra Its not about sexual harassment. If you approach a women and she finds you attractive you can almost say anything if not you can right away see her almost roll her eyes infront of you and now you’re a creep. the reason men are terrified to flirt with women now is because of feminism along with the metoo movement that came with so many false allegations and continue to happen without any punishment to false accusers.
Chen just taught me what seduction is for the first time!!! I love her analogies, and her contextual examples just made it all make so much sense. Dudes have been teaching seduction all wrong for a decade. Seduction should make the other person enthusiastic, excited, and intrigued not diminished, needy, and insecure. This was so good, AND HER "NO" WAS POWERFUL! I felt that shit, her body language was very cutting, but she was polite. Damn, women really need to learn that "NO" because I have never seen a no like that before, I usually see the polite "maybe no". But I'm the type that if it's not a yes, im not into it at all. I don't like mixed signals so when I get them I lose interest. There was no denying Chen's No😅, love that. She is really good, I like the advice about feeling into the body language you are presenting, that is a MAJOR KEY. It really takes the ambiguity out of the experience. 💯❤️💯 I am going to use a lot of what she said and try it, I'm a strait male, but I have zero idea how to flirt, but I am charming, so she really opened my mind to learning now. I'm going to follow her to see what else she has to say on the matter for guys.
Love, love, love this talk ❤️❤️❤️. I love that you equate seduction with wholeness and self love. We're able to be more playfull when we're accept ourselves. Omg and the part about connectedness ❤️
There's some great stuff in these interviews, and I find it quite dangerous when people talk about the differences between men and women at emotional and sexual levels as biological issues. We can't forget a few things: (1) society only makes certain expressions acceptable for certain genders (e.g., men's sexual desires are ok to express but their emotional needs for connection are not as welcome), (2) gender is a spectrum, (3) sexual orientation is a spectrum, (4) the way people do relationships is a spectrum. Thank you for creating a space to explore these things. I love your desire for everyone to have a fulfilling and fun life.
This was such a fun conversation!! I truly enjoyed Lisa and Chen, and their interactions together. Thank you ladies!! 🥰 My healthy and humble Self Love, Personality, and Character/Well Being, which includes self-confidence, self-esteem, self-awareness, self-consideration, etc., radiates from the inside out, so no extra work is needed to influence, seduce (sexual and non-sexual), attract, etc. in the environment around me. Being Humble is key. Arrogance is a huge turn-off. As an Empath, everything I do has to be real and authentic since anything fake is abrasive and has no place in my realm. One thing I have experienced is that being my own self - friendly, outgoing, engage in conversation, etc. can be taken as being flirty and seductive. I am particular where I apply my time and energy for flirting and seducing, so it is very selective. ❤
Love This... Thank You for bringing this to all of us.... I actually was Fully Loving of my husband, the pain of staying in... too great, and I know my Love is Pure... it is sad - even though we believe we were a Divinely Connected Heart... it's difficult for some people to actually be okay with the Work a Relationship of Value Is - all the High Frequency Stuff Is Where I was working, and that's when my husband fully acted up... we Loved genuinely, sad he couldn't 'run with the ball of our Love'....
Hell yeah! Super stoked you were able to learn from the conversation. Thank you for your support and for your comment. Have a wonderful day! Best, Impact Theory Community Manager
It's very fascinating to listen to her because watching her make's it easy listening. Lizra Lizra Lizra... such a powerful woman. Her hand gestures show's that gay men,are more sensual than most feminine women. Thanks Lisa, for you are a great impact on women. Love.
Oh my God! I didn't want to comment but the second guest FORCED me to comment. I used to feel butterflies but I have just been in a relationship but there were no butterflies. I was so calm and myself on the first date. I enjoyed being with him. I connected to well with him. But he was all those physical attractions that I listed for my ideal man. but he is everything I NEED, compassionate, caring, ambitious, family-conscious. I fell in love with him but this love was a more relaxed feeling. not like when I was young and I was even worried that maybe I didn't love him enough but I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I was forcing myself to bring those butterflies, doing research on why I do not feel the butterflies. and this second guest's first remark just answered my question.
I think this conversation is absolutely paramount! I’m so glad you’ve brought these sex issues to light. Equating the males need for love and the women need to feel love. This gift of sexuality has been equally displaced by both men and women for so many decades, it astounds me that once Brought to light in conversation because the need to feel. Loved is the birthright of both in. 5he relationship. “Women need to feel loved to want sex, and men need to have sex to feel loved”. . This awakened truth should really be continually explored and used as tools to keep the beautiful flame of sex alive in long term committed relationships. There is some great nuggets of golden wisdoms toward deeper connection and zesty health and deeper authentic happiness. It gives me a wonderful Seneca of hope and self care and empowerment. Excellent presentation! Thank you Cat
Lisa your smile is the most seductive feature about you The second one is definitely the child we see in you, when you react, when you talk, you're transparent Not to mention your natural beauty is very seductive, your face is so natural ❤
Carefull about the body language when trying to convince others about 'being worthy':) Chen was shaking her head from one side to another which could show to her embedded disbelief that she really is worthy.
That's exactly what I think. If you feel worthy you don"t need to tecnically seduce anywone your personality and how you feel will inmediately attracts the right person. In Spain that "sabrosura" does not work as it shows as you are desperate to attract a person, Spanish men would run away unless they look for casual sex in which case is excellent.
@@mercuri919 Yes, that's true. I used to only look in a normal way, maybe more than those proverbial 3 seconds, at men I was interested in and they understood...They were usually very intelligent, thus they didnt need many clues. I particulary dislike seduction, I would say it's meant for the type of women who don't know any other smarter way how to "convey the message". And surprising finding about the Spanish man. I would have thought they will incline to seduction as they are used to show feelings more than, for instance, here, in Czech republic:) Btw, in 9th grade I slapped a boy I really wanted to get to know, on his behind...and...it worked, too:)
It would be great if i could always have this type of confidence. Not just in the beginning of a relationship but keeping this type of seductive confidence throughout life and throughout the entirety of my relationship(s). I find throughout time I get a bit too comfortable and kind of shlumpy as the relationship goes on. Like ok I’m bored. The seductive lady in me that had that fire in the beginning seems to fade out as time goes by. How to keep that fire alive?? Maybe that’s another topic but I knowww I’m not the only one 😅
This was a really fascinating discussion especially Chen's nuanced version of seduction. As someone living in the west, but having grown up with eastern influences, if I had to translate this interpretation of seduction I would use the verb "to enchant." When Chen used the idea of a piece of meat to explain what her version of seduction is not (i.e. an object to be devoured), I began thinking what would be a useful parallel to demonstrate what it is. At first, I thought a piece of art in a gallery would work well because whether the viewer accepts or rejects it, the art is going to stay until the exhibit comes to a close. The art has to seduce you into its viewing area and make you want to understand it or have an emotional response. If the art piece does not seduce its audience does it mean it is undeserving of appreciation? No because at the end of the day whether it is viewed a billion times or just once by the artist, it will always remain unscathed and a piece of art. However, as much as I enjoyed the analogy there was something a bit bleak about the passive aspect of the art piece. Then I suddenly was transported back to my days as a dancer and choreographer and realized that, in fact, this was probably going to be my best analogy. Dance is extremely seductive, intimate, passionate, suggestive perhaps, but not sexual. It really is a conversation between two people using their bodies and movement. Using ballroom as an example, traditionally the man "leads" and the woman "follows", but these are very misleading terms. It is not as though the leader is the driver of a carriage and the follower is a horse being hitched to pull it under the driver's commands. In social ballroom, especially Latin, the leader _offers_ a move (possibly akin to a question) and the follower _chooses_ how they wish to respond (akin to answering the question, but the question is about an opinion or preference, therefore no answer is wrong). For example, the leader may ask (through movement), "how do you like to spend your free time?" and the follower might respond (again, through movement) "I really enjoy learning new cooking methods from different cultures because I travel a lot for work." And so on and so forth. I may be completely off-track in my interpretation (if so, I apologize!), but nevertheless this was a really enriching thoughtj experiment and inspired me creatively. Thank you both!
I looooved the insight behind her coming around to speaking on her story ❤ I’m learning this is the key to connection with others for the best value in whatever you are called to do in this life. Great podcast episode!!
Let’s make a libro 📚 📖 because we can help women understand undereducated motherhood porque podemos alludes a muchas mujeres entender como ser mejor madres By feeling and understanding our mothers lack of education Para entender las opportunidades que no tenían nuestras madres There’s strength in understanding & undoing the trauma when you can walk through it. ❤ You gave me a new perspective. Lot of love 💕 Gabriela
It has to be said, Chen is incredibly outwardly attractive so the charm aspect is very much helped by this fact. The same for men, certainly helps to be generally attractive.
Wooohooooooo thank you for this interview!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ I allow from now on my seductive side to lead my life. I always shut it down at a certain point. I love you! ;)
@@ChenLizra I reflected on that. Since I came as a refugee with nothing and it's struggles to fit in in society and to be accepted as a "normal human being" I fought to get my university degree in Germany (which is not that easy) and took all the responsibility for my whole family and parents, since they relied on everything on me. I am a very feminine looking, sexy, strong woman on the outside. And also can be very seductive in a ladylike way. But on the inside I struggle so much with self worth. I can't see how a man would choose me and value me as a woman in his life. I have so much shame. I still feel as a human of second class and I can't have the normal and good things in life. But I also know that I am very powerful, intelligent and seductive when healing that. You reminded me of that ❤️ I saw me in you! :) do you have any suggestions on how I can turn this internal struggle around? Thank you very much. Greetings, Rajmonda
Men will desire you when you don’t care about them being your everything. I’m happier being alone, happier away from the crowd & happier taking care of my own needs & wants. I think that men feel less stressed to cover all of that when it’s already covered… Then they’ll want to do something to impress you…
Basically it’s just being comfortable in your own skin and if your a kind person it’s even better. I live in Latin America and met women who have that seduction vibe but are total bitches to other women , too much ego. But men love that. Personally it turns me off a very seductive person that expects certain treatment or asume everyone is into them. Balanced confidence is better.
In the discussion about "to feel with" someone at 39:45, I want to add that the German word for sympathy is "Mitgefühl" which literally translates to "with feeling" or "to feel with".
Lisa, watching this episode and others on this topic (confidence, relationships, dating) on your channel and on other channels recently, as great as they are, I am left with some doubt and confusion and I cannot clarify my feelings and thoughts on one matter. Most of these talks and advice etc. seem to be useful for, or speak to people who want as end goal 'real love' , life partner, spouse etc. What about how to have good, healthy relationships that are not going to end in marriage? Are those doomed from the start? I'm divorced, single mom, my husband was my first sexual partner. I am by no means ready to enter a serious very long term relationship again, as my inexperience with men was a major factor in me ending up with a wrong partner. I feel the need to get to know myself as a woman and how I am with men, what my limits are, how to enjoy the connection between a woman and a man without throwing myself all into it, keeping a clear head. Does that mean I should only seek casual dating? But I also feel a need for affection and connection. Not wanting a serious relationship, will that make me less worthy in men's eyes? Can you be respected by men if you let them know you want a more casual relationship? What is even casual? What makes it serious? So confused. Anyone reading this, I would really appreciate some advice or podcast recommendations or something. Thanks.
Maybe you need more time with yourself first, and if you want some physical connection but nothing serious just be honest and tell the man that and he will act in kind. But you can't expect emotional intimacy and seriousness when you don't want that.
Men won't respect you as a casual relationship. You're offering yourself as a free prostitute if not as a woman they need to consider taking care of from day one. It seems like you're looking for permission to rotationally date. The traditional way of dating by the way. To date different men, even at the same time, till you find one good for you, which may never happen but you get pampered, build your self esteem and get to know yourself in the process. Good luck. Finding a good guy in this dating world is dumpster diving, you won't hit gold the first time. Write down the dynamic you want, not the one you think you can get, and keep going untill you find the man that meets your criteria. It's your boundaries and expectations that will filter out men like your husband.
