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In other words, narcissist survive on survive on destroying everything good around them and without destruction. They cannot survive because their survival mechanism. And its existence is to lie to see you destroy
Narcissists always have us tangled in their drama exaggerated stories They always have some bogus complaint.Luring idiots into feeling sorry for them They never tell you the truth about how they really are because they would get dumped on their face in a minute if you found out I no longer value the narcissist nor their fake friends.Because if they were decent human beings they would try to help demand or at least discouraged the wrongful attacks on Innocent decent, good people that they know. Or don't know, but assume without smelling. The fishy station where what this narcissist dictates, is a logical irrational makes no sense and is living a complete lie. At my expense as a silent superhero pulling off the impossible I have no f to give she took them all
Absolutely! Going through it right now. And before I realised what was going on I fell into their pushing of all my buttons. They have effectively turned the majority of my family against me (they are a member of my family). That wasn’t enough even when they got my angry incredulous reaction - They even attempted to turn my own husband against me. So now regardless of who this person was to me. Now my husband, my child and I will be moving away from them all & only have minimal communication if ultimately necessary with the one or two of the family members. Maybe. But as for them. Gone.
I think its easier to believe bad than good, people today I think are very much different because of social media, quick to tear down, people seem to love grouping up to destroy, can you imagine the good that could be done if as much went into it as they do with this gangstalking thing?
“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but you stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.” - Jill Blakeway
This is so true. My oldest son devistated me. He destroyed all my relationships I had with family friends and my own husband that wasn't his biological son but we been married 30 years and my husband loved me so much that he seen right through all his crap. Today my son and I don't speak at all but that was a decision I had to make 2 months ago. It has got so out of control that he even went to my pastor and told him a ton of lies on me. I don't get why he hates me so bad. I thought I raised him good. Somewhere I had to of failed him. I feel so guilty and wished I knew what could make it stop and make him feel better so he wouldn't attack me in such a mental way.
@@gingertully3505 God bless you 🙏Truly feel your pain & it is so upsetting Did your Son have someone else a powerful strong influence in his life whom could've poisoned your nme & mde him think badly of you? This is what it seems like Did you ever @sk him? Someone did this, tried to poison someone extremely precious' nme to me, when i ws a Child They told me lies about someone extremely precious & importnt & yes tempor@rily, i believed the lies But thank & pr@ise God i went to the precious person whom ws being lied about & told them /@sked them if the lies were true & they were given the chance to clear their nme But if i hadn't i wouldve continued believing these lies & their good nme wouldve been poisoned I'm so wondering if this is wht's happened to you & i pray you get the chance to confront him Ple@se try to discover mend your rightfully good nme God bless you You deserve the best ✨☘️🙏
@@kimcarter1383 Thank You for your lovely comment dear Kim God bless you million times ✨☘️🙏Sincerely hope life's now treating you extremely kindly & now you have such brilliant aware ness, you can steer clear of the oftentimes negative effects of their mind g@mes :- You're worthy & deserve much better treat ment, completely ✨☘️🙏
We cant help how people turn out... you mentioned your pastor, so in the Bible it talks about king Manasa who's father raised him good but he wanted to live how he wanted to... plus even God's own sons turned against him and who could be a better parent than him. So don't let his behavior get to you stay strong and stay positive 😎🙏
I’ve been the victim of a smear campaign all my life! Literally as long as I can remember! I have a envious narcissist cousin that recruited our other cousins as her flying monkeys. Before I discovered narcissism I thought it was so strange that they hate me but they all look up to me & copy my personality, style, hobbies, etc. I’ve been no contact for over a year now it feels great.
My Aunt always said negative things to my cousins about my hair, Starting at age 2-3 years of age, my cousins were confused because they loved me. But it was just the starter campaign for her to continue attempting to separate us. In my case, I believe she was jealous of my connection and heart with others. She then did same smear campaign against her my uncle to try to steal his business and also to her own daughter, with same hair color as me, and she died of a broken heart.
@@montanamvk Thank you I appreciate that! I have to be strong because I have no other choice. My cousins were horrible but the biggest baddest narcissist I had to face was my own father 😢 I am low contact/grey rock with him.
@@SP-li7wn Yes same here my family always has something to say about my hair color, piercings, tattoos, clothes, etc. anything to do with my outer appearance. I am a sweet, beautiful, kind person & that’s why I was scapegoated.
Had a friend who copied my voice even...and my makeup..she did Smokey eye... she stopped...as I was more simple classy... she told me her boyfriend said that she now sounded like me....she even used to ring up men and say sexual things and he thought it was me...only one occasion I knew of...she rung a guy in front of me saying I thought his nose was really sexy....so when I saw him he rubbed his nose on me the whole time... we didn't sleep together as he was kind... but he was so lovely and sweet... but I couldn't date him due to my friend doing that... and I couldn't explain it to him either....do wonder if she rang up other men....hmmm
I recently had a lightbulb moment when it comes to smear campaigns. As painful as they are to experience, it can be the best thing that ever happens to you because to defeat it this requires that you draw ALL of your energy away from it and back to yourself and start to value what YOU think more than what even a whole group of people think of you. Hard to do, but you can only do it when you are centred within yourself and able to ALLOW others to think as they will, without needing to control it. It is one of the best ways that a codependent person gets a wake up call and finally heals their wounds so they can move forward in life healed and with ALL of their power drawn back to themselves.
It’s also a blessing because it often makes them mad, Which makes them throw a tantrum, act out, & react in a way that allows a victim the proof and enough ammunition to FINALLY hold them accountable. Legal proof for protection orders, harassment charges, etc. As a victim of a Narcissist that I have children With, then the only hope for escaping their toxic abuse forever and to have the ability to heal, is to create legal walls between him and yourself so they are forced to be held accountable by the law. It’s the only way in my opinion!!!
Narcissist can make you sick They need to learn their lesson the hard way because they don't ever appreciate good people I just can't believe how stupid idiots are to believe or want to believe what the narcissist is mirroring about their target. Who likely is innocent while the narcissist exaggerates while discouraging you from thinking critically to figure them out. Narcissist want you to brainlessly.React like a pendulum swing.Or else it won't be your friend unless you're a good puppet on a string like an idiot useful idiot
My older sister and my son are both narcissists and have conducted (are still) smear campaigns against me. This has resulted in tremendous losses for me in family relationships as well as very public humiliations. I've lost so much, even my good name, to these horrible people. Saying just to ignore it is not helpful. The helplessness is enraging and heartbreaking. I've wanted to end my life because of this. There is no solution, no reaction, and people just don't go to the person being maligned at all, but choose to believe what they're told. It's evil and malicious. And devastating.
I’ve had the very same thing, BUT when I removed myself from it , and really looked at what losers these abusers are, it helped me so much to see how much better I was than they will ever be. Much of their motivation is out of jealousy . They are jealous of who you really are! Please believe and realize this.
It’s my mother and stayed enmeshed because of my sister with MS who passed away last year and my father who also passed last year. 58 years old. All extended family thinks I’m the monster. It’s so awful, there are no words. If you haven’t lived it, you can’t imagine it.
@@diannebrett4074 I agree. It’s horrible and I just about lost it , completely. If not for my faith I wouldn’t make it. My mom would be overjoyed to know that she caused pain to me or anything that would happen . That’s enough to keep me going. I’ll live to be against her.
Hi there. I have a sibling who has inherited the same trait as our father. A complete Dr Jekel and Mr Hyde and tries to manipulate me all the time. He accused me of something I allegedly did to coerce my father to alter a document. When I showed my sibling a copy of the letter that my father wrote out, it actually proved that I was completely innocent and whilst my sibling was reading the document I was shocked to see that no tantrums was being displayed. So far, to date, no apology has been given. We have another sibling that needs looking after, and it is bloody nightmare. I do know the feeling that you are going through.
A smear campaign is a wonderful opportunity to find out who your friends are, and to separate out the flying monkeys. Once you learn the gray rock technique, all the crap will roll off your back and you can grow as if there is no tomorrow, even if it is your family.
Just yesterday a flying monkey and I had a real honest talk where she admitted that I wasn't doing anything that she'd heard. Finally she admitted that the narcissist was a liar and disrespectful. What helped change her mind was that she saw me in creation mode not giving energy to the narcissist or anything he's doing.
This comment is very helpful. Thank you for sharing it. I’m going through something similar and my response was to continue creating and doing what I enjoy, and she smeared that as well. I’ll continue doing me and let her continue to be a harassing, bullying sociopath. Thank you for this.
So true. People see YOU doing YOUR thing. You FOCUSSING on YOURSELF. You, thriving. Not being impacted by the negativity shows that apparently that negativity wasn't real. It wasn't worth it for you to pay attention to it, even when it should've affected you. that's what the other people see. You're so right. They see you create, and focus on you and get things done and get things out there. That doesn't add up with the negativity they heard about you from the narcissist. It shows you're not impacted, and the info therefore must be bullshit. You set an example, and all other people can do is either look up to you, support you. And if they don't and stay jealous or angry - then that's none of your problems!
I've dealt with a smear campaign for 14 years.....I'm finally starting to get my name back.......the more I fought the smear or tried to prove the ex narc false..the more people actually believed the narc. So I went silent...stayed silent and it took time but people have figured him out. Plus now hes going through another* divorce so hes a little busy...ha.
@@joycec.5395 it's not worth your health or peace of mind. Plus they become more abusive with age. They could poison you to make it look like an illness or worse. Very often not able to prove you were poisoned. Many drugs poisons do not show up in standard lab work. Plan your escape. Do not tell him. That's when they're most likely to be homicidal and murder you or try.
I'm done, cant Fix broken. Only GOD can be the answer for their Narcissist disorder. My question is, some people have Horrible beginnings and they don't sell out and becomes an EVIL NARC. Were is the tipping point??? Some bloom into an Empath, a light in this Earthly experience. Shut them down!!! 1 in ten are Narcissist 's ??? I work with the public with a Nursing company. HAWAII 30 yrs. Here on Maui.It's not paradise anymore.🌴🌺🌴The Narc Capital of the World.!!!
@@vickipacheco9787 God showed me who I thought was my sister in a dream choosing to continue to suffer. They chose to continue suffering. They don't know what they really done. So sad for them God showed me she is now full possessed God was using me to speak to her in real life and in the dream I was speaking to her but she ignored what I said she had grey paint under her eyes and she reached for more grey paint to put under her eyes while she continued crying. I remember thinking in the dream your hurting why do you want to keep hurting more it's so sad. God also told me she chose to believe the lies of Satan. She may not have known it was the devil but its the feeling and you recognize how painful it feels I felt the same I didn't know it was the Devil but I refused to believe what I was feeling and the thoughts I was having God was with me and as time went on God showed me this was the Devil making me feel that way it wasn't me. I am 24 she is 18 she was the golden I am the scapegoat. I also felt in my spirit satan laughing at her saying " I fooled you" God is greater please choose God HE WILL SAVE YOU AND HAS A PLAN FOR YOU I didn't let the Devil stomp all over me and wipe his shit in my face don't you either!! God is coming back!!
I agree, I noticed that the female and male narcissist are quite immature they enjoy turning people against each other and pretending like they are everyone's friend. The term "divide and conquer" applies to narcissist.
I am proud to say I have successfully shut down their stupid smear campaign and exposed the narcissist! After 13 years of abuse I finally took this step
I'm going through this now 😑 I'm to the point where I dont care what he says about me to others. They can believe his lies but I dont. Hold on to yourself! Its so important.
You are fortunate to have been able to do that. None of the people my ex talked to would even speak to me after he was finished with his smear campaign. They ran from me.
The most damaging person to a narcissist, is themselves. They are truly their own worst enemy. The pain that they have to deal with everyday is unbearable and that's why they lash out on other people as a prey as a life blood source.
@@AllUCanEatChurros But we non-narcisist - that sometimes were also abused - are everywhere on the internet. Here we are everybody. But in real where are we?
✌😂They can smear all they want, I already walked away/no contact from them all (fam of origin) just over four months ago. New town, new business, new people, fresh start, all is going exceptionally well and my new business has already begun generating income, so far it has earned more than triple what I spent setting it up from scratch. 👍☺👌
Way to go!! I had a guy try this with me. He knew how private a person I am, so he purposely tried to get the town talking bad about me. What an absolute CREEP! I moved to another state and am going to ignore the hell out of him from now on!
@@annknower4603 I understand, I am a very private person and I had no online presence whatsoever. My narcissistic ex used my name pictures put them on several social media sites and created bogus profiles using my name info. 2 years after the fact i am still trying to get the rest of this bs removed.
That's awesome! I've done similar. Moved 3000 miles from home, doing things to better myself, slowly but surely my business is doing better, and they all hate it. I don't care. I'm done listening to them try to guilt me into moving back, you know, "I don't care if you're happy, we can't see you, so move back and be miserable so we can be happy." kind of thing. I feel so much more free than I ever have!
It's a common phenomenon because boring low life's with no standards love drama & conflict.It's even noticeable online how many abusive & malicious comments with not one shred of evidence attached to them get thousands of likes, comments & attention, while wholesome & supportive statements & comments get overlooked & dismissed
I agree, I have been dealing with a Narcissist smear campaign for years and these self righteous flying monkeys actually believe these bs lies about me.
If your circle believes their lies, you might want to check the people in that circle. The smear campaign came down on me too, but my friends actually fought the narc back; cursed her out; rejected her attempt to smear me right away.
My sperm donor tried smearing me at work. It didn't work because they all know my work ethic. His fantasy role of scapegoat and useless loser fell on deaf ears and he could not believe it when people called him out on it immediately. He slipped and said something under his breath about how he didn't understand how I was respected enough that NO ONE believed a word he said
This is 100%%%% my ex husband. Smear campaign in my small town and I just don’t care anymore. It drives him crazy that I am happy and don’t give him the time of day.
What I suddenly thought when dealing with a narc's derailing of my thoughts, was: "What am I not doing while I'm paying attention to this?" That gave me clarity.
Spot on in my experience, you will not win with a narcissist they endlessly play games, shutting them down and easing them out of your life is the best way to go.
Absolutely, ignoring totally plus no contact beats the narc down. With regards to the smear campaign, its essentially out of your control, so I guess just remaining positive and confident and knowing who you are is the best path to take.
My ex husband has created himself an entirely new reality and rewritten our history completely to anyone that will listen. Anyone that matters knows the truth. I'm finally in the stage where I no longer feel the need to defend myself. I leave it simply "your perceptions are your perceptions" and I move on.
It is so perfect when you see the monster and know that you no longer feel the need to defend yourself. Forget that crap. Its a waste of your precious time. It is absolutely exquisite to be free. Keep loving yourself and never go back
He has to believe that b.s. he has created or face the reality that he is not perfect. It must be exhausting twisting everything in his ickle mind, oh well!
The thing that sucks the most is when they set you up, call the police, try to have you arrested, get a protective order against you, and spread their venom to everyone you know and affecting your employment.
Mine tried that He called the police and was arrested himself. You should have seen the death stare he gave me!!! 😅😅😅😅😅. I think he is a psychopath 🤔. Can't fix stupid though! God does not like ugly 🙌 🙏 😌
The narc kept threatening to have me arrested. He called the police on me when all I was doing was folding laundry and getting ready for bed. The police told him to stop wasting their time and told me to leave him. I left a week later. He also threatened to ruin my career several times. I actually decided that the best thing for me was to move far enough away from that area to protect myself in my career.
This happened to me. My ex mother in law thought nothing of calling the police repeatedly, saying I was abusing her son. Called my employer anonymously of course trying to get me fired. Finally the police refused to come out. They can do a lot of damage. Takes years to repair, if at all. Thank you for this video, very helpful.
How do you deal with it,get rid of narcissist,a smear campaign requires slander,you don't need to feel victimised,why insist on the pursuit of it,take care,don't doubt yourself,if it doesn't sound plausible,ask to illicit a proper response,respond to it by denying any untrue illegal allegations,try to ignore it,they are evil people who should be ignored,don't engage in conversation with them,without their narcissistic supply,they will suffer,focus yourself and deal with it appropriately✔️✝️💲
I was attacked and smeared by my MIL for YEARS! I was and have been deemed as a “strong” person for getting through it, but can tell you it hurt a lot. I mean she made it ALL up. It was scary & mind boggling. She won a few outsiders, but I know she lost the smear war. I chose to ignore and believe it worked. I feel & felt an emotionally intelligent person will see through it. Best wishes to any who is dealing with a smear campaign.
I SINCERELY COMMEND YOU FOR SHARING THIS AND YOUR STRENGTH AND EFFORT TO OVERCOME THIS. I LITERALLY FIND IT SO DIFFICULT TO GO OUT IN PUBLIC BUT IM KEEPING IT TOGETHER UNTIL IT ENDS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS. IT HELPS SO MUCH FOR ME TO STAY POWERFUL AND POSITIVE ENERGY MOVING FORWARD
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You can't ignore them. As an example at work, a young lady came up to me, crying, and said that I called her a sl*t. I found out that some narcissist told her that, and pointed out that I wouldn't say that about anyone, and I wouldn't - ever. If I just ignored it, she would have continued to believe it.
I can't agree more to ignore it. If you can bite your tongue for a few hours, sometimes they'll even start apologizing because they need something from you, even just attention, again. This has been the biggest lesson in patience I've ever had in my life. And yes, create YOUR OWN life. Even with all the little things in my new tiny rental home, I say "but its mine (or ours since I have a daughter) and I am rebuilding a peaceful, calm, positive life"
ANYONE GOING THROUGH NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE ABUSE YOURE GOING THROUGH. YOU JUST DONT KNOW IT. One thing that helped me is that i had friends who could see right through her even though i couldnt at first. I wish more people had that. If you feel that something is wrong, listen to it and investigate it the best you know how to. Dont let them isolate you. Thats the worst thing you can do. The best thing you can do is keep contact with friends, family if theres anyone there. If you get a chance to meet up with someone you havent seen for a long time, take it. Ignore the other person when theyre trying to guilt trip you by saying that youre not giving them enough attention or that youre ignoring other obligations. If they realy love you, they truely love you, theyll be encouraging you in success of your goals. Theyll be wanting you to spend time with your friends and family because they know what theirs means to them. If youre dealing with a sinister mind and feel that youre being manipulated or gaslit, dont let them make you feel like youre going crazy. Your gut will never lie to you. Here's another thing. Talk to some war veterans that have been discharged. Theyre always looking for ways to help others, believe it or not. They need it to feel whole themselves. And they can smell a lie like a fart in a car if the narcissist has already begun their smear campaign. So dont lie to them youselves. ABOVE ALL, DONT NEGLECT YOUR OWN LIFE. YOUR TIME IS THE MOST PRECIOUSE COMMODITY THAT YOU CAN GIVE TO OTHERS. DONT WAST IT ON THOSE THAT DONT APPRECIATE IT.. Keep doing what you love to do and never let anyone humiliate you about it. NEVER. Take care of the ones that appreciate the time you spend on them. Ignore the ones that have no appreciation of your time because it's a waste. Rebecca Zung, thank you.
Being a kind, helpful and empathetic person, I (unknowingly) was a magnet for narcissists...not so any longer (but unfortunately too late to avoid their successful smear campaign.) What these evil people do is purposely destroy lives. The ONLY person they care about is themself, and they will use anyone they can and say any lie to further their evil agenda. It should be against the law to be a narcissist. I only hope that they reap what they sow. Interestingly, the 7 things God hates (Proverbs 6:16-19) describes things a narcissist does. They know exactly what they are doing; if they did not, they wouldn't lie about their behavior when confronted.
I believe I was falsely and secretly accused to the authorities back in '93 by a narcissist Jezebel neighbor of things I know not. 2 Tim.3 mentions lovers of themselves and false accussers. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) There's plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple today(+ Rev.2:20) Rev.18 speaks of her. God knows she has blood on her damn hands. Those types are like the IRS: They won't rest until they make you pay. Except, there's death and destruction involved with a Jezebel's charges. The righteous judge ( Rev.19:2) has to take charge of this one and shut them down because I'm in the Devil's hands, under the judgement of the world
I wish I saw this video 1 year ago, It would saved me a lot of energy by explaining myself but is never to late, just remember the smear campaign, and the flying money are the haters they never like you to begin with, why it is matter what they think. Stay silent! “SHUT THEM DOWN!”😀 the more you acted like nothing happen the more upset they get. Because you are not giving them what they want. Trust me the best reaction is NO reaction
I totally agree with you and this is exactly what I have done no Reaction from me none at all which is out of character for me however I’m not that me anymore that me was with him and now I feel sane again his campaign has just started I discarded him 2plus years ago, I am dealing 🙂
What surprised me was that the women who smiled at my face, suddenly became some kind of a swamp creature feeding on his swamp stuff. They were exposing their own inner turmoil, making them feel better, for a little while. So many people needing therapy that hid it well before being given an opportunity to regurgitate it. All their demons came out to play, even church people. I was so surprised.
If you have a good sense of self, it will never really matter what they say. They are sick and if people cant see through their tactics, and personality disorders . So be it.
I've had this problem with a sibling. I didn't know what a narcissist even really was, until I started researching this type of behavior, then it it all made sense.
I've cut ties with ALL her flying monkeys (my mother is a covert narcissist). This includes the family church people and common friends. It really made a huge difference. I no longer have to deal with the comments or attitudes or even them going off on me about something I never did or said. It was easier than I thought and relieved me of a lot of stress.
@@TheBecksHemmings Thanks. I don't have any children. Things have changed over here though. She is in a full-swing smear campaign against me and trying to draw me back in with the family. I made a call to my aunt and told her I was not going to an upcoming party (for my mom) and refused to be treated like crap by my mom's flying monkeys anymore. Anyway, you know how the story goes. You pull and they pull you back in. Hope all is well with you.
@@lisac7151I was tortured by a narcissist gang, I came out of the gang silently first but they started spreading lies about me, that I am very harsh and all..I got this information from another my friend and all I did was spread the truth...the truth was so awkward for that gang that they no longer come to me.... I spread the small facts by withholding big issues with me to some people before the narcissist gang itself. Then they no longer come to me...as they don't want to come near me because all I need to spread the hidden truth about them.... it took time for me to build people and then make myself stronger...but I no longer need to worry about their smear campaign, because I know so many people now, they are afraid of my network.
My heart is so pure that why his mom,his family, my family, and my friends know I'm the most beautiful person inside/out that they all believed me how he treated me they all ended up having no respect for him. My family and his see his true cold colours. I'm grateful I have lots of support 🙏 he can say whatever he wants which no one will believe him.
The problem is that you don't know what they said, but people begin to act ill at ease or hostile around you. If you ask them if something is wrong they won't say, but get worse. People are lost, you know who's behind it, but you don't find out why they are so angry. One person I was friends with 3 times over decades, and I ended the socializing each time because I felt smothered by meeting their needs but no place for me. Each time, I also lost another friend, including one I thought was a close friend. But you don't find out what was said to make them that angry. For some reason they won't tell you.
You totally feel the shift in the attitude but no one will bring it directly to you. That is their own fear and that's what turns them into flying monkeys. They can't think for themselves.
My vulnerable narcissist’s smear campaign just started. She even has her very religious mother posting things. The “flying monkeys” phase has started 😢 Thank you for the advice. My therapist is helping me stay strong… inhale…. exhale… I’m working on getting back to what is important to me, but no longer being naive about people generally being good on the inside… my eyes are so open now… I’m already seeing so many people around me having their own agenda and not caring about anyone else as I thought before… it’s scary to see. But, it’s also helping me see while the truly good people are in my life… not near as many I’m afraid… But, I believe I’m now a stronger person for it…
Just had a smear campaign this week - my response to accusations by abuser - they got angry I stayed calm did not justify my behaviour, let them rant - then said - thank you for letting me know I have No Comment to make - see you, bye and walked away. They stood shocked with no response.
Man I feel a strong urge to send screenshots to the same people who are doing his dirty work not knowing what type of person they’re defending but I keep having to hold back and just block them. It’s been on my mind a lot but I’ve stayed silent.
I’m currently going through this. My narc says I’m the abuser/cheater on social media and I have soooo many screenshots of him cheating and begging. It’s so frustrating while my name gets a bad rep
My ex did this so effectively. Told everyone I out of the blue told him I wanted a divorce, that he has no idea why, or what he did wrong and turned all our friends against me. He even tried this with my own father.... not that I was leaving because of the emotional abuse, porn and alcohol, spending all our money on rubbish. People love a shocking story.... so they eat the lies up. It was so heartbreaking for so long.... but you learn these people were never your people. But the narcissist isolates you from your friends and fills your life with their supporters.
Being a psych myself, I limit watching content on Narcissism to 3 people on YT - you are one. Relevant. Knowledgable. Concise. (you're not surprised that the other 2 are Dr R and RichG. ?!)
Left my ex narcissist nearly 20 years ago. Took me awhile to unengage with him, but have been married to a wonderful man now, for going on 15 years! I moved forward and never looked back. Raised my son to be sa good and decent young man, who's married, had a toddler and is successful in his career. Once you're free, just let it all go! Don't look back! People will believe what they want to. Drop them too, as I did. I now only allow people who add to my life in my life. Blood suckers are not even allowed! No need for them!!
I let a narcissist move in 3.5 months ago. His true colors emerged a little over a month ago and the last month has been hell. I’m getting him out though. He started the mud slinging once he realized I was serious about kicking him out. I didn’t lower myself to his level although I easily could have participated in the name calling. I’d never in my life been spoken to like that. My mother is a narcissist too, but not nearly as imbalanced as this man child. Wishing everyone out there the best of luck cutting this type of needless purposeless toxicity out. Now I see why these people have no real friends and even their family turns on them. No one deserves that kind of crap treatment.
Shut them down!! "I deny all of these allegation, thanks, see you at 3pm!" Hahaha, I love that. Thank you for the tips, I'm learning how to navigate a smear campaign on me in my partner's family. My takeaways from this video: ignore the negativity campaign, focus on what you're creating, and don't get into the details with them.
Starting writing my book. For a few years i was told i was losing my memory. The family member often said "when you get dementia" huhhh?? I am inly 50. After watching this video, I have had a few lightbulb moments. I started to believe I was losing it. Thanks for the video.
Hi Rebecca. Greetings from Poland. I am a man, 61. I am in the divorce process now. I have watched your several films on narcissists. Now, I fully understand disgusting narcissistic behaviour of my wife. I know what to do thanks to your advice. After 32 years of my marriage, I think I need to recover. It will definitely take some time. I am quite successful guy in many different areas of life. I have never lost my self esteem although I came through many hardships done by my wife. Now it is time for peace for me. Thank you Rebecca again. You are doing wonderful job helping others. I wish you good luck ! Marek
I am dealing with my narcissistic wife. She exactly did what you said...smear campaign. I think it's best to start new life than dealing with all these opinionated friends who selected to hear only one side of story and worst acted upon it.
My daughter have 2 favorite go to The smear lie is followed by “You just don’t know”. When asked for examples, creating mystery, curiosity to follow. The smear lie is followed by “Grandma tell them” or insert name.
I made that mistake of going back to the people he tried to smear my name to and it just made them look at me even more crazier. I started staying silent.
This is what I was thinking. My sibling has lied to our relatives so much. If I try to explain how things really are I start to sound crazy because her lies are so crazy. I would jump into a crazy wheel. I don't know what to do. It is terrible that my relatives think I am a horrible person, although I allways try to do what is right. Everybody believes my sibling because her lies are better than the truth. She is a master actress and charismatic. I am just honest and it is not so interesting. I am sad that my relatives think bad things of me.
Oh the stories I could tell of my past relationship. It’s way behind me now. Mine was a female narcissist ... beyond evil!!! She almost brought me down until I found people like you to educate me on what I was dealing with. Thank you Rebecca!!! You are doing a great service through educating on this subject!
My ex’s mother is twice my age, but somehow has time to bully me and publicly harass me just because of what her son said about me- not what she knows to be true. SMH, I’m moving away just so I can be free from this demonic family of abusers and bullies.
My ex narc’s mother would bully me, sending mean texts calling me delusional. I had been nothing but kind towards her. I blocked her. It was confusing to have the flying monkeys attack me.
Thank you for your advice. Yes, ignore them, dont give them any response & reaction, and stay positive. Always be yourself and be positive, no matter what. Narcs spread negativity, we spread positivity. I'm dealing with covert narc coworker. I struggle hard to survive againts her smear campaigne, false accusation, projection, triangulation, etc, and she never stops.
Even intellectual and rational family members from the Narcissists family will quickly turn on the victim because they (behind the scenes) have been told how bad a person you are.
Thank you so much, Rebecca. I know a lot of this stuff but unfortunately need this refresher due to a narcissistic parent I have gone no contact with. This person has alienated most of my siblings and adult grand children long before my current NC and they just have grey rock contact with our parent... Maybe one phone call a year or holiday flowers .."Here's some flowers..stay out of my life" kinda thing. Those older siblings have the wisdom to limit contact and now it all makes sense. The smear campaign against me is strong and especially disturbing because I am currently dealing with a serious health issue and my abuser knows this, but continues to double down on smearing me, some has been on public social media (which I have so far been able to get removed without contacting the abuser) . It makes me want to send a cease and desist or an email telling them to knock it off but I know it is best if I don't give the N the satisfaction/supply. Do I have legal recourse if the abuser continues to post my private medical information on social media and/ or slanders me on social media? Thanks again for your video, it is really helpful.
@Gemma Dann Too sad younger, insecure siblings have lied and cheated at least 40 years while I worked, raised children. Sister told woman who didn’t know me, she raised my children for me (never spent one hour with them); I met this woman by chance working summer in different city while kids were in college. Upon hearing my name she excitedly told me how lucky I was that sister raised my children for me. How do you deal with that... the outcome is true loss of grown children, as you are no match for the sick need to tell such lies to total strangers. I am heartbroken.
@Gemma Dann Yes, it is odd (a mild description), and yes, it has made me sick. I always gave sibs (she controlled younger sib: we are each 5 years apart.) a pass for behavior I didn’t understand. I simply begged to have and play a piano. Taught myself on a toy until age 9 when a (cheap, but real) piano arrived from relative. Teacher was hired for both sister and me. I stood at the door waiting for the lessons, while sister ran out of the house to avoid them. I gave her nastiness a pass, as I was a concert pianist by age 11 (practiced 4 hours a day because I loved it so) and whole family went and sat through me on a concert stage with an orchestra. Was also star of school play in 6th grade... yes, excused nasty behavior due to that. Rather than create her own life skills of things she loved to do, (and she was so good at so many things I could never do!) she made her life’s work lying, sneaking and cheating. I was told by youngest (for 40 years: “xxxxx has been trying to get rid of you since she was 5”). Being picked on, calling me crying about her, I told him to handle it and get good at what you love. Instead, he became, what I now know is called, her first ‘flying monkey’! It continues, adding more monkeys through the generations. (Yes I went to a respected Narcissist-Empath therapist. So terribly depressing) I was a music teacher, then music minister. She copied younger brother and became a CPA he put to work one day a month... complaining about her all the way... again I said there is absolutely no need to share with me. The pain is overwhelming, as you know. Thank you for your kindness. As I’ve been writing, both sibs continue working on my children, grand children, cousins, and more!! There must be a way to counteract this pain, other than ‘no contact’.... After all, “we” are the ones without contact! Too much pain for the wrong people!
Im also currently going through a divorce from a Narcissist. My best friend divorced a Narcissist and he tried to turn her whole family against her even her adult children against her. Narcissist are evil and everyone that they recruit to work against us are called "flying monkeys". You should research narcissist flying monkeys. Please stay strong online friend this too shall pass.
I used the same 2 strategies without advice but wasn't in perfect form in the beginning. Later, when I'm facing such occasions/people again, I did it better each time. No wonder why it works faster on the most recent one. Wish I gained this knowledge earlier so it could save me a lot of extra pain and struggles. Hope this video can benefit those who still are in need so they don't have to learn the hard way like me... Thank you for sharing this!
What about narcissistic sibling smear campaign’s? Seems like channels are afraid to approach that subject. It’s just as destructive for the victim. Easier said then done to just ignore it. It’s destroyed my life!
I would love to hear about sibling smear campaigns. I have 4 siblings lined up against me. The only thing they are united about is how much they hate me. They are enraged because my parents left me more money (I have been taking care of them for over 10 years, no other sibling helped). It is such a betrayal. I just found out they have been smearing me for years. So glad to have them out of my life. Went no contact. Best thing I've ever done. Peace at last.
@@Susan-io8jr Same thing happened to me! I never realized how manipulative they were. I was so naive. I'm not naive now. Will never have contact again.
I have a narcissistic sister. It is betrayal after betrayal and if I ever say anything the smear starts. She used everything I ever confided in her against me.
@Connard Cyndi your story is so similar to mine. I moved my Dad to my house when he had cancer ( his wish, I had main floor bathrooms and bedrooms unlike his house). After he died (Hospice was there every day) siblings accused me of killing him. Mom is living with me now (notice how the narcs are never care takers). The entire situation is a nightmare I'm afraid will never go away.
such a wonderful human ... you have certainly helped me realize the narcs that were trying to control my life and impact my world ... no more ... they are in the rear view mirror and very bitter ... moving onto better people and places due to your guidance .. thank you :)
Hi Rebecca, I've seen many videos about narcissism from several authors and learned a lot. But I must say that you are the first one to mention about controlling one's thinking. I like that. You can create a lot of positivness in life by positive thinking. I know it's not easy but possible. Believe me anyone who's reading my comment. I've been there. And I'm a survivor. Wish you all good luck and be in a place where I am now. And when the time goes by you will need these videos less and less. Thank God/Universe or any other Force that they're available. Take care Rebecca :)
Thank you I’m dealing with a smear campaign at work and the narcissist has now moved to the cubicle next to mine. It’s terrible and unfortunate that there isn’t more I can do to clear my name
You're not alone. I'm dealing with 3 as well... And realizing I come from a family of them. Best thing is to educate yourself and ignore them. They're always looking for pity, a reaction, your energy. Only saying hello goodbye and keeping the conversation very bland is how you can start separating yourself from them. I keep telling my bf this, but he isn't woke yet.
You are not alone. I'm dealing with the whole tribe😢 10 years of toxic marriage with three children and at the stage of being discard by my covert NARC husband. I pray God grand me strength to Keep on fighting. His family took their smearing campaigns on facebook live video trashing me.
@@maryjay3610 I'm sorry for you. Its so mean to do! Remove all those nasty individuals from your facebook. Then the fun goes off!! Take care of you and your children. Shut them down!!! 👊🏽
Videos such as this are helping so much. I'm not gonna let them bug me. Woke up feeling peaceful and I have ignored them so I have been harassed by both of them thru email last few days won't even read them anymore. my elderly dad had to take his phone off the hook cuz they are trying to harass me thru him its nuts but they will NO Longer suck my positive energy
Today, after reading your heartfelt injuries and now to know I’m not alone. Hearing all of you. Ive decided to stop hurting regarding my smear campaigns. One from daughter (45 years old) estrange husband who joined her. Along with a sister. I have been under a doctors care and therapy. God will clear my path. I have been 100% NO CONTACT FOR 4 months. We are all walking clean from the Narcissist’s who walk this earth. I’m beginning to live my new life without them. 🌺
God, I needed your video. Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to getting your book. I'm going through a horrible divorce. They are using my family against me. This message is so freeing.
Wonderful information. Mind over matter is real, i.e. prayer. I'm going to think hard and sincere on how to prosper to the point I'm overflowing with abundance and then I can help others in need.
I was going through a smear campaign while we were together, thank god someone seen it on Facebook and sent me a screenshot that gave me the courage to kick this thing to the curb for the last time , the campaign continued
Thank you for this video. It’s been the most painful thing to experience. Watching my loved ones, friends, and some coworkers believe the smear campaign he’s put me through.
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My mother has been like this towards me my whole life. I can’t have a relationship with my sisters because of her, she attacks every relationship I have in the small town I live in.
You have immense understanding Rebecca, You're absolutely beautiful, Thank you so much for this, Peace, love, Respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe 👁😃💙♘💜💛🕊🌹🌷🌲☘🌚🐎🌈❤🌝🐶😍👽🐉🦄
My narc called people that neither one of us knew because he was trying to start trouble. I thought it was so strange. He also called MY family and friends. I ignored it and he eventually calmed down.
Thank you for truly understanding this it feels like no one gets it my own narc Mom has done this to me when I needed her most as always and now I’m completely estranged from my family they believe her so she’s successfully completely isolated me and I have already survived my abusive narc ex husband self represented for 3 years and won custody just to turn around and have to go to court with my own Mother who filed a complaint for my oldest daughter (I have 5 kids) the same day I went no contact she saying awful untrue things about me and my husband filed fake missing person report so she could get emergency custody she has a unhealthy obsession with my oldest daughter but wants nothing to do with my other 4 kids her husband is just as awful and they both have a lot of money very aggressive daughter of a judge for a lawyer so I am up against a literal nightmare and need all the help I can get God bless you for taking the time to make these videos I feel so seen and not alone anymore ❤️
