How To Skip BORING Small Talk And Have Interesting Conversations 

Person on the street: hey hows it going? Me: I love you

As an introvert, knowing you're gonna have to engage in small talk is like being asked to arm yourself with a sword & shield, and ride horseback into conquest.

People love to talk about themselves and be appreciated.

"Lovely sun we have out today." "It is, and it's casting a strong shadow behind you, are you in touch with it?"

"The weather is nice today." "How does that make you feel?"

How small talk turns unintentionally deep: "How's the weather over there?" "As dark and cloudy as my everyday existence..."

Other people are a reflection of you. If you're shy and judgemental people will hold back around you, if you're outgoing and secure in yourself you will bring more people out of their shell and into that energy.

I've been feeling self-concious about being boring lately, and I'm in that in-between phase with a new friend group, so this is perfect, thanks!

Ask deeper questions and take genuine interest. Let’s learn how to socialize again

This channel is great for learning social skills you've never had an idea were a thing. HOWEVER, You won't learn anything in front of a screen. The only way for you to acquire those skills is by throwing yourself into deep water and doing it yourself. Get your sh*t together and do it yourself with an open mindset and you'll see how efficiently you become the "better you". RU-vid won't help you. Only you can do it. It's never too late. Head up, you got it!

I suggest reading these 3 books to go into this in depth: The 7 levels of intimacy How to gain friends and influence people How to get people to like you in 90 seconds

"it's rainy today" "I have depression"

It's beautiful the work you men are doing. You're offering such solid, important guidance that assists human beings to heal such painful struggles. You do it without any pretense; simple, honest, and in a "we're in this together" tone which is very encouraging. Thank you for contributing such goodness to this violent, aching world.

That's some really good advices, gives me confidence to start conversation with my cru- My stutter problem: imma stop you right there

A lot of these tips are the same things you learn in empathetic listening if you work for a suicide prevention hotline. Parroting is a big one, but hard for most people to master. You want to repeat what the other person said, in your own words, to make sure you fully understood what they're trying to tell you. If you make a mistake in your replay, most people will non-judgementally correct you, and you will better understand where they're coming from.

Always struggled with small talk, especially after 9000 years in lockdown

I love the part where they explain that YOU need to talk about your own issues as well. I did the mistake of caring too much about others, rather than myself. It’s a balance that needs to be done. However, if someone is going to open up to you, you need to open up to them as well. That’s a true connection. I’ll help you out, if you help me out too

People want to be interesting, they just don't know how.

I think why so many of us struggle with conversation is because the topics that we actually want to talk about are considered taboo. So we try to play it safe by asking each other questions that get us nowhere. Why can't we just talk about whatever at any time? What's the worst that can happen? Somebody not agreeing?

Small talk was always a difficult one for me, I definitely need this!

80\20 rule. You do 20% of the talking & let her do 80% of the talking. Ask her question & get to know her. The best sales/dating strategy.

I forgot how helpful this channel is. Cheers Charlie, you’re a clever guy I’m glad you’re sharing your knowledge

Sean Evans from Hot Ones would be a great subject for a charisma breakdown because he asks such great and engaging questions!

Make it clear you’re happy to talk to them. Cool, aloof people aren’t easy to get vulnerable with Start with the basic topics, then move in deeper by asking how it made them feel. Moving a convo to feelings, motivations, or values is a great way to understand somebody deeper Parrot them, repeat something they said with curious interest to get them to elaborate on the how or why or whatever, and quickly move into feelings and motivations, ect Don’t judge them when they get vulnerable and share something they’re ashamed of, instead advocate for that thing, help them understand that it’s a normal thing for humans to do, and acknowledge their vulnerability and bravery. Reveal your own vulnerabilities and unflattering truths. Don’t filter when reminded of something embarrassing You need to be in-touch with the most unsavoury parts of you if you want to get into really deep conversations otherwise conversations will keep being safe and boring, you’ll keep wearing your mask, and you may just spend your life in fear that a disowned part of you will come back into the lime-light and ruin you

I just want to say, thank you for what you do. You we're one of the biggest factors that changed my life, and I didn't even get CU yet.

This is absolutely one of my favorite RU-vid channels it is so informative and I try to tell everyone about it that mentions feeling awkward for struggling to communicate

Treat her like a celebrity she will treat you like a fan.

I have been watching the channel for only about a week, and haven't even checked ot CU yet and I can see the effects already, I feel like people are more comfortable being around me and talking to me and I'm really grateful for your tips

Connecting with people is one of the great joys in life, just a willingness to understand and genuine curiousity goes a long way :)

I’ve actually been doing these for the past couple of months and I do feel a deeper connection with people

Omg I need this! As an INFJ, I get bored and irritated when small talk continues too long. I’ll go as far as not striking up a conversation in the first place in order to avoid small talk in the first place, which isn’t a good way to live.

One of the biggest things I noticed about people is they like talking about what they like coz it's the most they could talk about without thinking too much about it. It helps a lot when you affirm them in what they do "I'm taking this risk of opening up a business etc etc and it's been my dream" "Hey, that's really cool. Not a lot of people have the courage to be like you etc etc"

Good advice for introverts (introverted virgo especially) who hates small talk

I look forward to joining the course I love your channel and am a film maker from one of the lower income places in Toronto who didn’t go to uni or college so I lack confidence sometimes talking to people who have your channel is a blessing

I'm so glad you covered this topic. I ask myself this question all the time.

I have connected with many things in your synopsis, watching this helps make it more concrete! thank you!

Me who has watched a dozen of your videos: "Sure, I'll finally check out your 'University'." Me who sees the price tag: "Guess I'll be forever alone then."

The last question is mind blowing. I do have anxiety trying to find myself while masking perfection.

Your videos are really well edited and amazingly presented. You rock!

Your channel is simply amazing. You do such good work and have incredible insight.

Thanks for this video! Small talk is indeed important, not only can help us make a good first impression, it also can lead to a lasting relationship.

I love you guys and I appreciate what you do. Keep putting out good content on how to subtly influence people

I haven't watched CoC in a while (I was focusing on light entertainment over self improvement videos over the pandemic) But this channel is still super solid. Really enjoyed this video.

Haven’t seen the whole video yet, but I just gotta to say I already know it’s going to be great.

WTF is going on at 8:47? That's some deep connection there...

i love being a subscriber of your show, thank you for your great information!

Good tips! I feel like I'm great at cutting small talk and creating a meaningful conversation out of it because I hate superficiality lol but I still learned a lot with this video. Thumbs up 👍

Thank you for your wonderful work ! Bless you

Thank you for these valuable insights!

Someone talking to me walks into a pole. Me: "thank you for your courage"

Your RU-vid channel is so Valuable to us

Great tips, definitely needed to hear some of these

THIS VIDEO IS A GIFT THAT YOU CAN OPEN AGAIN AND AGAIN 🎁

This was awesome! Thank you!

About two years ago I just started asking “how’d that make you feel” in conversations, and it totally changed the relationship I had with certain peop

Thanks to this channel I will be a beast on popular talk shows and interviews.

Just hit a gold pot! Thank you for this! I really needed this since I’m socializing more often now!

Hey there! Could you do a charisma analysis of Princess Diana? I find her such an interesting example because she was considered an incredibly charismatic person, but she also displayed a lot of behaviours that show insecurity. How was she so charismatic while also being insecure? I think this would make for an interesting video!

Whoever runs this channel I LOVE YOU ❤

Awesome, thank you for this, this is going to help me connect more with people on my channel

I learned so much from you thank you 👍🏿

I didn't know this but I actually quite good at this. Thank you for making me realise that

Thank You !

This is really good stuff. It is hard but once you got them, it really elevates your social skills.

That was very insightful and helpful.

thank you

Really needed this. I completely forgot how to socialise after 2021.

8:47 -- LOL nice

Wow what a good video. Thank you.

A great video. Nice tips

Its almost like the CC guys are watch me fumble through life with timing of this uploads

want to say thank you for your videos! You have given me a whole new view of myself and I didn't like everything I saw haha. You do a great job sharing all these facts and putting in clips that fit in with what you want to share

Joe is simply an artist in talking. He is the Micheal Jordan of podcasting.

Your video editing skills are becoming so impressive

It would be great to see a Charisma on Command video breaking down Neal Caffrey from White Collar

"Are you in touch with your shadow?" That question..

Woah, I'm going to need to watch this a few times over

This is a great video!!

I remember when the shadow of myself almost ruined my life and i stumbled upon a 17 minute video i think which talks about integrating the shadow of urself which saved me. So thank u charlie for that. I think the video was about ayahuasca

Very interesting.

Glad to see a video featuring a lot of Howard. You guys could do an entire video series just on Howard. The master interviewer.

Saw that price and said “Welp… back to the RU-vid vids 🥴” .. Good luck to everyone on their journey!

Reminds me of what they teach you in acting class. Focus more on being interested than being interesting. The more interested you become in other people AND the world around you (like seeing the beauty/absurdity in those little “meaningless” moments in life) the more interesting you naturally become.

Rogan and Stern are geniuses in their craft!

Omg...,. This got way more deep... Than the title led me to believe

THIS has got to be the most amazing thing you've posted from the many amazing videos you've posted. Thank you for posting! That said, I do wish you would take the trouble to redact the f word.

I see that quality improved, Good luck

hey man, i love your videos and find them very interristing. I was wondering what education you have had because i myself like psychology so maybe i want to study it one day.

Awesome video👌🏻 Hey hi, please try to make a video on Hugh Lauri, people love his attitude

Damn this video hit me deep, love this video one of the best on youtube

Great great video 👍👍👍

I really need a video focused on work occasions!

Quite Interesting

This is a great video guys, but number 4, 5 and 6 are only plausible when you've already moved past the small talk. Would love to hear more about this subject in the future! Keep up the good work, you guys are awesome!

This channel is awesome

These were very good, practical points to consider. 👍🏽 Ultimately, it’s about really listening and keeping an open mind.

I have watched many of your video's... and rather surprisingly, I find that I am DOING many of the things you talk about. I was a rather skinny kid, growing up, and got picked on a good bit. So I was rather insecure, socially. But I "adapted" by learning to use humor, and to try to 'understand' the other person more. And when I came out of the Marines at 210 pounds of rock-hard muscle and broad shoulders and big arms, and went back to my High School Football Games ( I had younger siblings that were still attending) and saw some of those "bullies", and some of the "Popular Kids" that did not have much interest in me "back Then"... I saw an entirely different attitude! Now, in just a few weeks, I will be attending my 50th Class Reunion... and about 100 of those Classmates will be there. And about 250 of my classmates, from Graduating Classes before or after me, are now Regulars on my Social Media... Even some of my former Teachers have reached out and Asked to be "Friends" on my Media pages. Because, in spite of my insecurities, and even being picked on, I was still nice to everyone, and showed a bit of humor... and was nice to Others who were sort of "outcast"... And now, their "memories" of me are more about that Ex-Marine at the football games, or the funny comments in class or in school assemblies, rather than the skinny kid that always sat on the bench at all of the Football Games and never got into a Game... until the last few minutes of the Last game of our Senior Season... and intercepted a pass and ran it back for a Touchdown. But my humor, and kind and supportive comments, on social Media has made me one of the most popular guys in the School history...

The editing in this is incredible

I used to be really embarrassed about having crushes who ended up being jerks, but now I would openly admit it to anyone. Be friends with your shadow!

5:14 That was a good transition 👌🏾