Liitle tips if you wish to influence an ENFJ (i.e. me) who has already got deep in her Ti (otherwise it will be Mission Impossible and she will even hate you for pushing her that way). First, never try to bring her back doing the same shit she's already moved on about. Second, brainstorm about new possibilities for her and innovations to accomplish in a social area. Third, support her on a practicle way to make that dream become a reality and GIVE HER NEW RESPONSABILITIES! I cannot say for every ENFJ but that would definitly work for me.
@@orchidsrising7910 You are supposed to use your Te as an input of suggestions, just like he explained in the video, not emulate a Ti to think for yourself (which you suck at very much - and your mother seems to know that). This comes from a Ti hero (i.e. I am constantly annoyed from stupid people that act like if they were able to think but they really are not).
One of the easiest ways to get an ENFJ to stick around is to show them potential. This might not work in a job but it will sometimes in a relationship. If you tell them your dreams and they see the potential in you, they will DIE for it. So long as you treat them well and their needs are met, values acknowledged, etc. They will stick around at least until that dream is fulfilled. Edit 2: Caring about the little things too. "How was class?" "Hey, how'd your game/competition/concert/recital go?"
Omg lol I have an enfj? (Initially thought he is ISTP but took csj test and he got enfj! And I think it might be right!!) partner (I am estp female ) ans he always asking me and checking in abojt little things like that and I’m always like … wtf. But like. Who cares and I’m not discussing this. Lolol. We joke about it Bec I’ll be like I DONT CARE ABOUT MINUTIA 😂 STOP ASKING ME ABOUT MY MINUTIA. I’ll ask you about urs Bec u like that. Majora only for me pls and thanks 😂
They are an ENFJ... Shoot straight!! Tell them how much they are appreciated and how you want them to stay. Ask them what changes could be made. Cut the crap!!
As an ISTP who have a fantastic ENFJ mom and a broken narccisistic manipulating INFJ dad with his "F" only symbolizing cognitive/cold "empathy" and narcissistic rage, i truely and honestly belive that many ENFJs are to kind and innocent for this planet, since they deserve better for beeing so kind.
Wow!! This explains why my INFP sister could convince my ENFJ dad to get whatever she wanted. I as an INFJ never got that treatment, he would just talk to me about his philosophical thoughts.
Omg Wow haha as soon as you started emulating the INFP - the second it walks into the room - I just could not stop laughing over how true that is right from the get go! Yes that’s me, real INFP, unbelievable! I can’t believe you have this ability to act like someone else
As an ENFJ, even if I know someone is trying to manipulate me I’ll always be pleased to engage if they compliment me😂 spot on with your Se inquisition here
@@ashuranero5721 I assume compliments that acknowledge how hard they try to do the right thing. The ENFJ I met is so amazing that the things I like about her are always the first things I think about her. She is talented, put together, brings out the best in everyone, and seems unstoppable. Everyone assumes that it's easy for her to be great, but she tries so hard, and I think she craves recognition for how dedicated she is to giving all of herself. Just mean it when you compliment an ENFJ. They like people who mean what they say.
I am ENFJ and background HumanResources. My ENFJ proved a very potent weapon with my career, especially regarding graduate recruitment and internal employee development programs (mentor)
I know I say loud people get on my nerves but everything ENFJs do is so well-rounded and charismatic that you can’t help but love their presence (them-being fellow NF-types helps as well). I wish the ENFJ persona was used as the yardstick for social extroversion and not ESFP or ESTJ. There’s a world that NF-types, ENTXs (quite often) and ISTPs are privy to that the more sensorially-fixated types just don’t see.
25: 10 how to social engineer ENFJ: 1) tell them: "you make me feel good 2) tell them: "I value you" 3) tell them ""I will be loyal to you" 4) tell them: "our company values doing the righ... 🤣🤣the right th... 😆🤣😆thing. It's okay 😄I will make sure 😅that you will have the free...🤣🤣 you will have the freedom to 😁😄do the right th.... 🤣😂🤣😂 sorry I can't do this"
As an ENFJ, I confirm that, with my Ti inferior, I spend every living second deciding and motivating that which is what I want and how exactly I want it. Just gotta satisfy that Ni parent. And then, GOD FORBID if someone tries to convince me what I want is wrong and I should want something else. That person becomes ENEMY and needs to be exterminated so that I can continue with my chosen path. In simple words, I'll become very skeptical and doubtful, will think that they want to manipulate me, want the worst for me, they don't really know and understand me. Only I know what I really need and what is best for me. But then, there's also the sweet, pure-intentioned INFP, who appreciates me and seems to have no interest in tricking me and can guide me in making a different choise. But INFPs can also be sneaky these days :))
@@CSJoseph sir, is there anyway to heal or remove the flaws like over idealistic and over thinking and like worrying too much for others? Plus, how can I increase my unconscious INFP part?
I feel like this would only work with an unhealthy ENFJ. If I was approached like this I would chew you up and spit you out. It’s so obviously manipulative. ENFJ’s, I cannot stress enough the importance of building your self worth and self value. Even if you think you don’t need to. Always be working on this.
So true. I was an unhealthy ENFJ growing up. My upbringing was volatile and chaotic, with one parent who was off the charts authoritarian and emotionally abusive, and the other one emotionally unstable and unable to help me through the madness of our home life. Thankfully, I’m not a troubled ENFJ anymore. I put up with a lot back then, just trying to keep my head above water. All I ever wanted was to just be normal. Navigating my way through life was pure hell, with my antennae constantly activated, destructive self-talk and desire to please everybody. It was exhausting. A healthy ENFJ is a blessing. An unhealthy ENFJ is a nightmare. Even to oneself.
I actually am an ENTJ and when I think about my middle/high school self, it really looked like I was INFP. The way I could explain it is that I have a subconscious ISFP and an INTP unconscious. It makes a lot more sense than you'd think. I actually get along with INFPs, I just feel like they are a bit too defeatist to my taste, but other than that, they are salt of the earth wonderful people. I'd just rather not work with them. As friends, no problem whatsoever.
As an ENFJ... I was fine till you made the Te argument against making less money. Those 30% benefits better amazing. Mostly because I’d know I’ve been doing better than the other staff and their turn over issues. I’d still have a headhunter try to find something for me to leverage what the comparative market. Endless overtime because they can’t hire competent people. That attacks the burn out problem ENFJs get from over helping others and not themselves. Overall agree with 90%, the 30% compensation would have to hit the right notes though. Ti probably researched the competition to death. Good job as usual and get some rest.
*I'm an ENTJ* with a ENFJ girlfriend. Our first year and a half was HELL and lead to a breakup, but we somehow got back together and learned to understand exactly where and when and how we went wrong, and we used that information to build up our relationship. I gotta tell you man, I feel like we built up something amazing even though we're not exactly "compatible".
I am an ENFJ that just entered a relationship with an ENTJ. May I ask for a summary of what did and didn't work for you two? How are you building a better relationship now? I think ENFJ x ENTJ have great potential, are goal oriented, and work hard to achieve those goals - but I understand we have differences too. If both are in a healthy place, I envision "power couple" vibes :)
Same here, except I’m the ENTJ and my husband is the ENFJ. Had to leave him for a year after our first year of marriage ( he allowed his insecurity to make him controlling, and we all know that , with all due respect, I’m the commander of this ship!🤣), but wow, our marriage is stronger than ever now and just getting better with time ❤
@@snowjae9380 don’t allow your insecurities to overwhelm your decisions to the point of being controlling. Remember that the ENTJ is the captain, let them lead, and enjoy what you love most…proper execution! communicate to The ENTJ that you want to know that they see your effort ( but don’t be whiny about it) they’ll reward you with sincere albeit somewhat awkward admissions of admiration for all that you are and do for them, recognizing your pure genius and aging heart. I can’t say it enough, DON’T TRY TO CONTROL AN ENTJ!
24:45 “our organization values Fe Nemesis” 😂. So basically, smooth talk and tons of compliments when talking to an ENFJ. No wonder why ENTJs and INTJs doesn’t get along with them.
Ni and Ti can be so close minded and unaware of options, it can feel like a mental handicap... I wish I had more Ne. The critic isn't the fun kind of Ne. INFPs generally are super helpful in that regard, I admire them to no end for it! But it's good to know when to watch out for people's agenda and shut them up every once in a while. Thank you, Sir! =)
42:29 True. The good thing about bad examples is that people of that type can see how to protect themselves from bad intent. So it's helpful to everyone if you include a balance of both sides in this lecture series. Take some care of yourself, Chase. I think Si aspirational needs it. =)
I work in HR and I approve this message, lol. Except for the part where you may compliment what she's wearing & you're a guy. I'd focus on what she has in the room or what she did that impressed you instead. :)
I know. Although taking some time off, especially when you're not feeling well, is better than continuously pushing yourself til you're down. It's not that he owes us anything to push himself.
As an ENTJ I eventually learned that ENFJ's are exceedingly vulnerable in the inconsistency of their thoughts. Their drive and desire to care for people on an emotional level causes them to violate their logical standards or "rules". Because they're logic based, most of their thinking is performed internally to inform them of what logic is useful to them, but overarching themes of truth that doesn't follow cultural ethics is entirely lost on them. This leaves them with substantial belief gaps that manifests in an inconsistency of being: Need for harmony overrides consistency of thought. If you objectively point out this discrepancy in their being it causes a sort of ego wound that the ENFJ can't reconcile. It throws them into a Ti loop that makes their Fe go beserk. This is when they shut down because Ti didn't get its "day in court" even if they were objectively wrong in trying to push an Fe value that wasn't even consistent within themselves. I'm currently stuck in my relationship with an ENFJ because I won't sacrifice reality in the name of a subjective and arbitrary Fe value, such as tact. It isn't possible to present truth with tact, and tact without truth isn't tact. It's a compromise to obtain status and harmony with that which is wrong. Unfortunately, this shadow debate that ENTJ's and ENFJ's inevitably get into doesn't appear to have any solution, other than to submit to Fe values that are, in the end, entirely subjective. It's unfortunate, because ENFJ's are incredible people and I truly admire their capacity to care for others. Both of us fear abandonment and fundamentally struggle with being "good enough". If you're an ENFJ, please give me some advice on what to do.
I’m an ENTJ, when I come across this issue with my ENFJ husband, I don’t push him, instead I plainly and firmly emphasize my position while emphasizing his freedom of choice. Example: “ I understand where you’re coming from but I’m going to stand on the principle of this truth ( which we both believe and have already accepted) but you have the freedom to choose whether to follow truth or bend to harmony to make others feel comfortable. I love you so I don’t want to force you into anything, it’s your choice, and because I know you love me, you’ll respect my decision to follow truth.” * works every time! 😂 * The key here is acknowledging and understanding where/why they want to make others comfortable, not dictating their action, but being strong enough in your conviction that they gain the strength to stand with you. ( they’re loyalty to you allows their want for harmony with you to override the need to harmonize with and please others)
as an enfj, to give harsh truth you need to already have given a lot of love and soft care like 20% truth and 80% care and if after that you dont get an agreement it´s kind of done the relationship
As an ENFJ, I say this might work. If they really deliver. Also, I am usually not convinced by Te arguments, but Ti arguments where an analysis about the inavoidable truth is made.
I know an ENFJ who suffered abuse as a child and suffers from life long self esteem issues. I laugh whenever salesmen try to appeal to her Se child and complement her on her appearance and she just laughs in their face. Sales pitch ruined. She also has an uncanny ability to tell someone to politely go to hell and they will walk away feeling really good for the experience. If anyone is interested how this works, I can share some examples.
@@Cyorbu I laugh at the salesman's ruined sales pitch because she shuts them down hard. We both see right through what they are doing. She absolutely deserves compliments, and she is awesome, but it's not the way to win her over.
In summary, you need to fluttered, praised, acknowledge an ENFJ in a very innocent and in your most sincerest way for them not to notice your hidden motive cuz man, we easily notices or "know" your intention if you didn't distract us with all beautiful, constructive and positive things. And lol, I am actually giving a hint. I hope someone won't use this info in their evil scheme, please don't. You'll face consequences, maybe not immediately, but surely, you will. Be afraid of it. Just do good man and you'll live happier on your own peace self.
Dude, this was really funny to watch, relaxing even. Now I have more insight on how to help my ENFJ friend with her depression. By the way, any tips about that?
I'm glad you've brought up that Fe is always on an axis with Ti (I'm following CPT here) and I have a very fluid axis so rotating into ISTP mode is quite easy for me. Ironically I'm an ENFJ nurse who is currently considering leaving my job 😂; we're actually quite similar to the ENTJ in this regard: if we see a lack of progression in terms of where the whole company is headed, a lack of room for innovation and change that can be initiated on our part then we'll feel boxed in. Too right re Ni "wants to do something else"... my Ni is like an immovable object - if it doesn't fit into my 5 years plan then I'll filter that crap out faster than well, spew alternatives at me. My Ti is also at such point that I can sniff logical inconsistencies and internal dissensions from a mile off. At the moment, I want time to be able to do my Masters and funding towards it but even if I do get this mandated I'll have to spend another 2 years with the company upon completion when I want to go into academia full time. I think what you mentioned about lack of appreciation is very pertinent here; I'm very aware that my expertise and experience by far exceeds my pay grade and I'd more than anything just like some recognition for what I individually contribute to the team. The decision is pretty clear cut for me at the moment especially in a profession in the UK where there's a shortage of nurses, the possibilities for employability are pretty endless; I think what people can miss about ENFJs is that we can easily dip into our Te from Fe (indeed if we operated purely from an Fe stance we could never survey the plethoric mechanistic world to get anything done in an organisation) and we can apply that same ruthless perspective to our vocation as well especially with the added Fe impetus that we might have other people (like children) both financially and as a moral guide/emulating what we'd want to see in our children, dependent upon us. It's quite ironic that in CPT Fi-Si is actually, for many ENFJs the functional pair with the least conscious magnitude so taking on an INFP persona could certainly catch us off guard; I'd just wait until the HR manager changed personally lol; I could never say no to an INFP. I usually don't like the very stereotypical portrayals put out there re the types that are predicated on behaviour as opposed to actual cognition so this was a really good exposition, thanks Joseph 😊
I'm watching this video right now, so that I recognize when someone tries to manipulate me next time 😂 You really did a great job. Your tactics would have worked for me.
Love the example. Very practical. If you are so inclined and think it good sir, would you be so kind as to do a season on how to practically social engineer one's gold/silver/bronze type, to aid them in cognitive development to reach enlightenment. I know this is an insane request (perhaps most outrageous), because that would be 48 (3x16) episodes which would be an insane amount of work, but I think it will do emmense good. I ask from the standpoint of previously wanting mentors sorely, but never really had anything lasting or even official. Then I decided to be the change I want to see. Though I often fall flat on my face with that, as I have a long way to go, the principle clings. Anyways, so I would like to be for others what I never had and what I know they need most. What's worse than knowing your need and not having that met, is not even knowing you have a need - feel many people are in that situation. Much love to you for all the love you first showed us man. ❤ Will respect your decision whatever it may be.
Another helpful video. I have two ESFJs in my life that I have problems with. Look forward to that one. Seems like some overlap with ENFJ. Probably the freedom to serve as opposed to do the right thing but maybe that is there too. ESFJs seem to be able to detect what they can do to make you feel good or bad and may use that.
I know your comment is three years old, but I can tell you that as an ENFJ, I have some of my biggest conflicts with ESFJs, even though we’re supposed to be compatible. Not talking about romantically compatible, just temperament-wise. I’m conflict adverse, for the most part, but ESFJs have always seemed so manipulative to me.
Very informative! Although I kinda wish you would have taken a more of a romantic relationship view of this topic. My bf is an ENFJ and I’m an INTP. This guy makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. 😂🤦🏼♀️ Thankfully I’ll be getting some therapy soon and hopefully that’ll be useful..... hopefully
At 24:45 when you begin to laugh through your lecture at these two NFs manipulating each other through the "feels" as a fellow NTP I was totally laughing with you, it so cringe, it so cheesy, its so easy to manipulate ENFJs through weird feels flattery and fake care. I had to emulate an INFP this way with and ENFJ boss I had. As and INTP it wasn't too hard, just pretend to care about their feels and advocate for them and it seemed to work long enough for my needs. But boy the hilarious cringe about it all.
Not always true. An ENFJ can smell a fake compliment a mile away. We may smile and act appreciative, but we’re sizing you up as a phony the whole time. Will never trust anything you say afterwards. Sincerely (and I mean that), An ENFJ Edit: The only problem I have with some of these evaluations are the stereotypes that are created. People are far more complex than this.
Will do, Season 21 takes a lot more effort than the others. Each example or scenario are based on real life events. My issue is deciding which events fits which lecture.
14:45 😂 I remember when my boss and also my school is so adamant encouraging us students/ employee (I'm a working student) to get vaccinated and I was so against it. I was skeptical. I've done my research. I know what I'm doing. I don't want them shoving something in my body that they're not even responsible for whatever happens to me. Cmon, they're too pushy, forceful and I feel suffocated. They are taking away my freedom to decide for myself, my rights and my well being.
I wish I had work experience where someone actually knew how to get value out of their employees, (INFJ), listening in on what I should do, or confirming that I'm doing the right things to my enfj best buddy ;) But also, my brain is full of angry bees, so it's unlikely that I would trust someone who was really good at this kind of thing anyways 🤷♂️
Yes well , I would react positive to this approach…. BUT !!!! If I find out that nothing has changed and your words have no worth ……. I’m out before you realize it . And destroy everything on the way out ….. Be very very careful !!!!!
I wonder if it was the fever that made him say “hor” instead of “her” 😂😂😂 And I am going to put it easier : bring a Chris Hemsworth look like man in a suit smelling good and tell me he is my new boss and I swear I don’t go anywhere!! 😂😂 I will be sure to give him a good experience 😂😂😂
22:55 gosh you saw through me. How my behaviour works or function. I am enjoying watching this. Very fascinating ❤ Plus the puzzles of my personality has been given a name! Now, I know why I am so intuned with my environment, the plants etc. I see. That's what the physics in Se means 🤔
I find it very difficult to believe that anyone really thinks they are giving everyone at work a good experience. When there are supposed to around 5% pop. that are INFPs and only another 7% are ENFPs, how does the average ENFJ survive without getting out their cat-o-ninetails? Do they end up hiding in their ISTP and being aggressively logical at people? What’s the process?
If you are going to work with an ENFJ, be honest and do the right thing. They will know if you are lying and doing the wrong thing. You are not getting away with it.
But, why has Introverted Intuition become "what I want" and "willpower"? It isn't very similar to a classical definition of a perceptive (in this case intuitive) function
Enfj would love the flattery sure.. but when it comes to getting a 30% pay decrease if we are unhappy with the work environment and already have something else lined up.. we are out.
To all INTP's reading this, I have a few questions to you, that might sound weird at first, but I simply want to find or not find some possible correlations. 1. Have you ever for a short or longer amount of time experienced the symptoms of brain-fog and/or visual snow? (look them up on wikipedia if you don't know what they are) 2. Do you love eating salmon? (Or certain fish in general) (Also note if you love Sushi with algae) 3. Do you eat alot of chocolate or REALLY like eating chocolate?
1. No. Maybe a little foggy before breakfast and a bit of snow if I stand up too fast from a very relaxed reclined position. Solutions: eat some carbs and take a few deep breaths. 2. I do love salmon and fish, generally, but I rarely crave it or go out of my way for it. I often take fish oil supplements, but only a few times per week. 3. I eat a few chocolate bars per week. No cravings.
1. Yes. Actually dealing with this now. Some part of my environment may be causing it.(mold/asbestos). Biggest problem in life is being a Ti and using your mental at 30%. 2. Love fish; just not fishy fish. 3. Chocolate is my Achilles' heel.
@@MK3504 Interesting. Your environment may be causing it, but I personally deem it likely, that the best way to get rid of it is eating right and having a positive attitude. I recommend eating alot of fish, especially salmon. Thanks for the answer.
@@CSJoseph I don't know too much about it just seen a few videos on the three types of attachment styles people have; anxious, secure and avoidant. So a chaser a runner and a normal person lol
I have an enfj boss friend 😬 when I first met her I was getting nfj vibes but was unsure if she was an E or I, she scores right in the middle apparently lol. How would one help her with anxiety? I've been trying to think of ways to help her cope. I enjoy the atmosphere she tries so hard to create.
You apologized to the INFPs for not emulating them well but honestly, I don't think you will have too many INFPs watching this. I think the last thing they would want to do is social engineer someone. lol
@@CSJoseph Soooo true. I have an ESFJ and ISFJ in my life. Neither one are talking to each other. The ISFJ, however, if far more inclined toward grudge holding and manipulation. The ESFJ is better at pretending it doesn’t bother her.
Thank you for your videos; I really enjoy watching them! I’m curious as to how mental illnesses affect cognitive functions (or how cognitive functions affect mental illnesses)? Are some individuals more prone to developing anxiety, personality disorders, depression, etc. because of their function stack?
