How to Spot a Cult | Sarah Edmondson | TED 

I don’t know if my dad came up with this, but he always told me: “before you label yourself as crazy, take a look around and make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes.”

My former workplace used MUCH of the language she uses as examples, and it makes sense why it was so hard for me to leave despite feeling burned out. I felt like I was abandoning a place that "needed me" when in reality, I was no more irreplaceable than the next employee. Dont ever let a company make you feel like you can't leave. In fact, you probably SHOULD.

I spent 40+ years in an abusive family dynamic. After walking away, I realized it was “run like a cult” by my mother. So yes, families can be cult-like as well.

Avoid "cults of personality," organizations that are focused on a single personality: their zealous and magical leader.

As someone who was raised in a cult their entire life and got out in my early 30's, I believe you've not mentioned the most important hallmark of a cult. They will discourage any other journey. There's is the 'best' way, and questioning it using logic and reason is basically not well accepted.

There is a book called Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell. It’s a fascinating read about how cults and cult-like groups use language to draw people in and to exercise control. The author also looks at how much modern marketing uses the language of cults to create brand loyalty.

Sadly the best inoculation to a cult is having been in a cult. Being raised in one makes me VERY sensitive to anything that slightly seems like one.

Before this whole thing blew up I met someone who was in Nexivm, he hired me to design some flyers so he could promote it. When I asked him for the logo and he didn't have a jpg file, I told him I could just look it up online. He said "yeah... you might find some stuff online about them being a cult, but it's just because the parent of some members is sore about his daughters cutting contact with him. Don't pay any attention to it" So of course I read the whole article and was glad I never went to one of the meetings I was invited to.

Sarah, watching that HBO series gave me the courage to escape a 30 year toxic marriage and ended up literally saving my life.

I won't mention the company's name. But a friends son has pretty much turned his whole life over to a MLM organization. Over five years now. He went from being this sweet, curious friendly young man to an automaton who just spews slogans and toxic positivity. He believes that if he can just bring enough people in "under" him, he will soon have a huge glass house on the beach and he'll never have to work a day in his life again. In 5 years he's brought in less than 10 people and some of them ended up dropping out. He still scopes out people at coffee shops and tries to make seemingly innocent small talk. He then tells them he knows how they can make a lot of money and be financially solvent for the rest of their lives. Hes been asked to leave at least one coffee shop. He buys boxes of products from the MLM company to make it look like he's got a real business going. But he just buys those items and those boxes sit in a closet as he tries to pawn them off on family and friends, what few non MLM friends he still might have. Its so sad to watch this young man who was smart and kind and friendly become a shill for a MLM organization that just rips people off.

Looking at you , Landmark. I had a person who I thought was a really genuine friend who wanted to help me during a very tumultuous time in my life. Try really hard to recruit me into landmark and it almost cost me more than I could ever afford. I'm so glad I realized quickly what was going on and got away. I asked that person firmly with a text message to never discuss landmark or anything to do with landmark with me ever again, she promptly replied okay and that she understood and all of a sudden. She never wanted to hang out with me ever again. I realized in that moment she was never a friend at all

The number one way you know you've joined a cult, is if you give until you have nothing left, and its still not good enough. You aren't good enough, and they make you feel like you have nothing to offer them, or anyone else. Period. Forever.

Thank you for having the courage to speak the truth and seek justice! This is so much more common than we care to acknowledge.

IMO, introverts are less susceptible to cults because we don’t like to join groups.

I’m so glad she’s safe. So much of what she described here exists in parasocial groups too. Podcast and social media influencers with a sick amount of control over their followers.

Buy those hats, trading cards, flags and bible 😂

It's more about total control through small moves. It involves removing opposition, silencing free will, " us versus them" mentality, group over individual mentality, exclusive societies, social identity, identifying dangers that don't exist.... Politics Science Religion A cult tells you that you are at your best when you are around those in your cult, because those other people are dangerous. They tap into a fear we are born with. "Only we can be right." "Others should be punished."

Hey it's the NXIVM lady from The Vow! Good on her for getting out.

I'm an American living in Japan and about 20 years ago I was walking to the train station and a very attractive young woman suddenly stopped me and asked if I wanted to get married. I was taken aback for a moment, then joked something like I had a girlfriend and I didn't think I could handle anything else at the moment. She probed a bit further, "Is it serious?", and tried to imply that relationships between foreign men and Japanese women rarely last, etc. She explained she was with a religious group and through them she had found true happiness, etc. We finally parted ways and she gave me some literature in English about her group. I didn't recognize the name on it, but later when I read through it a little I realized it was the Unification Church, or the "Moonies" as we used to call them in Massachusetts where they had a presence when I was growing up. Now I just remember it as a funny little encounter, but I can see how someone who might be feeling kind of lost or lonely could be easily drawn in by an attractive person who seems very empathetic and interested in them...

Beautiful message and beautiful person. She could just go on with her life, but decided to share her experience with the hopes of helping others learn from her mistakes. ❤

How to avoid joining a cult? -whenever someone claims to have all the answers you call them a liar and leave!😂

Dated a girl briefly who'd been sucked into the Landmark Forum cult. Truly scary to realize these groups operate amongst us and the kind of power they can have over people. Landmark Forum is based on a similar approach to Scientology (since it's a spin-off group) - use people's personal trauma to humiliate and control them and replace any sense of self with the group.

SUPPORT CRITICAL THINKING IN EVERY GRADE IN SCHOOL K - 12, AND BEYOND!

Society puts us in the mindset that we need validation and love from others. That's why cults are successful. The source of love is and always HAS been with us. We are born in it. There is nothing wrong with being alone. Time of reflection, growth, love, and healing can happen alone. Discernment also grows, because you know yourself and intentions. Which helps you understand other's intentions. The sad thing is that cults only are a deeper rabbithole that was created by religion. A tool used to control those who believe. I'm not opposed to messages of love and compassion. I am opposed to using those messages used to garner obedience and to create false narratives. Love has no religion, yet it's the ultimate religion.

I so wish this girl the best life going forward.

Working at Disneyland felt like being in a cult. It was awful, they took my identity from me and tried to force me to be something I'm not. All the while alternating between love-bombing and abuse and trying to convince me that "we're all one big happy family".

You are a brave person to acknowledge your vulnerability and how you were groomed to join this unhealthy organisation. I am sure this helps protect other people. Well done.

I was in somewhat a cult before. So I know she's really brave when she stands there talking about her experience. She tries her best to protect others and fixes her mistakes. I hope things go well for everyone.

My older brother said something to me in high school - that so many people were compulsive joiners - they were the kids who were in everything - the cheerleaders, the slide rule club, the service club, the baseball team, the basketball team, the wrestling team, the swim team. When it came time to create the yearbook, their faces were all over the place from cover to cover. So I asked myself why? Why do these people feel like that have to belong to everything? Well, the answer is obvious. They didn't feel like they belonged at home. Pretty much spells it all out. Sheep follow a leader. If you cannot think independently, you're not thinking - you're reacting to emotions. Those who do not have control of their emotions are doomed to cults and compulsive joining - until they meet their death.

Sounds like World Wide group I was a part of the company 4 months and recognized right away. I felt a lot of guilt for leaving and of course the "friends" I made no longer wanted me as a friend after. I was definitely love bombed, gaslit, they tell you it's not Amway when it really is. I was not allowed to do special girl only groups with the diamond until I got to certain levels. They tell you meetings are more important than family because"this is for your family"

Feels a little ... paranoid. I was raised in a cult and am no longer involved. I'm out. I can get invited to yoga or a spin class without thinking that person is love bombing me. Don't use examples like, "Hey do you want to go get a coffee." That's just normal. You could use the example of your distant cousin saying "Hey do you want to go get a coffee and talk about a great new opportunity?" (omg run)

It makes sense, something wonderful on the surface. The chains of guilt and obligation are introduced slowly and mixed with positive reinforcement. Boundaries are eroded bit by bit. Sense of self is diminished bit by bit. My own family is a cult so although my mother was no keith ranieri, I understand the dynamics.

I clicked on this with definite interest that it might be useful info, but man did it exceed all of any expectations I could've had - I'm blown away by the power in this short/digestible talk, and the essential information it makes available. So grateful for Sarah Edmondson for having the courage to engage in this and to TEDTalk.

Thank you for sharing your experience!! ❣️💯

I enjoyed this video. She is articulate and I felt she at many times was telling some of my thoughts and the life I went through while being isolated. Wish others who have had these terrible true life experiences to speak out to others or write a journal about the truth

As people watch this. I want you to think of how often you or your children are told to be a “team player”. The “team player” mentality is a method leaders at cults, sports, churches, politics and businesses get people to give their entire life to that leaders purpose. Stop the insanity, its not always a good thing to be a “ team player”. When you hear the term you better run. Don’t give your life or children’s lives to some BS leader.

Love to you Sarah as well as Nippy and the boys!! Love the podcast. Thank you for all you have done for the world! ❤❤❤

thank you for sharing your experience

I waited a long time for this. It's finally here! 🎉

If the graphic design for the meditation or prayer flyer is too good, it is probably a cult. If the flyer is just from a copy machine. designed with clip art or from a mimeograph, that is probably a church. Even better, if their website design hasn't been updated in 20 years, that is also probably a church.

This was an invaluable talk thank you.

Also look at Dr. Robert J. Lifton - Eight Criteria for Thought Reform, and Dr. Margaret T. Singer - 6 Conditions for Thought Reform.

Thank you for sharing ❤ ❤ ❤

Powerful. Thank you

I'm surprised she didn't talk about the BITE model for measuring cult status. Definitely would recommend ❤

Such a GREAT Talk by an AWESOME Cult Fighter!

I watched the documentary that you were in and I was very proud of you for what you did. I'm glad I found this Ted talk today. Reminder to all the commenters religion of any type is man-made. A relationship with a higher power is what you seek

God bless your heart! Thank you for spreading the wisdom! 🙏❤️✨

I feel you. Thank you for your bravery, Sarah. We all make mistakes and from our mistakes we acknowledge something then now you see? It was a hard journey but this has become your way to change the world into a better place 🧡🙏🏻😚🌿🌎🦋💕

Thank you for speaking up and sharing. In case it also helps, in my experience healthy relationships are never always too easy nor too hard. Nor does it switch from easy to hard too fast in a blink of an eye. You are better with it or even need it, but it does not consume your life and you still are you even without it all the time. I find it true with people, things, even food. Always try to do better but you are enough. You will be ok.

Good advice. I’m envious of her ability to trust, and connect with others. The opposite has its risks too. Being skeptical can lead to cynicism and an absence of belonging.

Her pain and anguish are palpable. Much love to this strong, courageous woman.

This was an excellent Ted talk.

Thank you for being so courageous to speak out. Sounds like a description of MAGA. Stay unculty.❤

She's so inspiring. And she's also so fit.

A little irony in that the ad running around this video is for an exec MBA which too is a bit cult like....Youre special, join our elite group and send money.

I was born in a cult. It was not fair. I never had the choice to look at the organization and choose to join or not. I finally woke up and got my act together and escaped when I was about 25.

Very helpful! This is one of the few cult talks I've seen that described green flags as well as red flags. Green flags matter, because we're social animals.

The most heroic ted talk I’ve ever seen

Thank you ❤

Very courageous speech

My parents met in a Christian Cult, The Way Ministry. Essentially they believe in many similar things except they do not believe in the Trinity, which is crucial in all sects of Christian faith. They got out of it when they were still young, but interestingly, the older I get, the more I see how my dad still very much hangs onto the words of people he finds value in and often will go against or adjust his foundational beliefs if the person claims they are doing work for the Lord. He also ironically used the Frog cliche to explain to me as a kid how people can use tactics like that to make you feel comfortable while slowly boiling you as they adjust things each time. It’s very interesting for me to see someone get out of a cult, but still put blind faith into some ideologies because the person thinks they both agree so much. People can be lead astray so easily, even if they already got out of a bad situation.

8:09 this list of things have always felt like giant red flags to me my whole life. And even though you say you aren't condemning any of these things, "Welcome to the family" has never preceded anything good. 15:00 "Questions are welcomed" "You can ask things without being gaslit" One of these days I'll find a group like that. Too many people have that one thing they are unwilling to question which in turn dominates nearly everything in their life. 17:04 "Don't make the tools your life." is such an important sentence I just need to repeat it.

That was a good TED talk.

I'm always stunned at how people can't see the root of the problem. They keep thinking that there's something out there with the "sense of connection" or the "feeling of belonging" that they're craving that isn't harmful. They keep trying to fill the hole without realizing that the hole is the problem.

“Any group can become culty.” I quit a group in 1980. In 2012, I realized I had been in a cult. The group was… Martial arts training. The cost was very low. But when our Shihon had me meet in private and beat me, causing hip to knee hematomas in both legs, I got out. I missed it so much that after 6 months, I returned…until I made a request that was not honored. So I left for good.

Excellent!

Thank you : )

Nice listening to this while lying back, rehydrating my life and health.

congrats & kudos

As someone who does CrossFit (I was about to call myself a CrossFitter and realized how culty that sounds 😆) I haven’t found it to be “all encompassing” in terms of promoting any particular kind of lifestyle. Basically, I pay monthly for classes, get coaching on form and such, and that’s it - no one’s telling me what I should/shouldn’t eat, how much I need to work out, or anything else. In fact, I do a lot of research outside of CrossFit on staying fit, particularly around nutrition (and no, I’m not paleo, nor has anyone told me that should be). That being said, each gym operates independently, so I imagine there are plenty of gyms out there that have a more controlling / culty atmosphere where they tell you what you NEED to do to be healthy and in shape. In which case: definitely follow Sarah’s advice!

Thank you

When I was in my first semester of college I had a friendly, relatively attractive student comment with me. She seemed so friendly and nice. We were grabbing a coffee when she mentioned Landmark. My mom told me that it was a cult and I realized she was right. That friend invited me to a group Zoom meeting with a rich old "finance" guy who led the event. They had about two to three plants in the meeting providing sob stories of how Landmark changed them. I quit the meeting halfway through to screw with all of them. Next thing you know that "friend" began texting me frantically trying to get me to join. Sending creepy pre-planned messages like "We are waiting for you", and "You will never know your true self". Insanity.

The big identifier is they want your money. Not some of your money, not a tithe or weekly donation. They want ALL your money.

As soon as she said Nxivm I knew EXACTLY what she was talking about. :( way too much true crime. And I knew what he did to women too. You poor woman. On the other hand, a 120 year sentence for a woman beating scumbag when he was seemingly untouchable and the authorities had no clue is something to hang your hat on.

Forget just calling situations a cult and use that term cult-like so it can be understood it has many forms. People are commenting about families being this way. I left social situations that weren't a cult but were cult-like and I didn't know it at the time nor did I put a label on it, but it made me feel less than enthusiastic to be around people who were on the do gooder road, yet appeared more of a show than actual good. It's not always the fault of a person, but social dynamics. If you want to help people, don't ask them to conform to an ideology of morals or code, but instead what should be on the surface is nurturing free thought within a realm of understanding moral code exists for a reason, do not deceive yourself, but you must find that code on your own and not in a group setting. Cultivating courage is more important than creating an ideology everyone can agree on. If this is done, the individual can feel more comfortable being who they are and find what they are looking for instead of acting like everyone else to meet expectations, not to mention its more honest. Most people are fake, and its the individual's job to understand who these people are and to move past them. You only learn this through experience. You know when someone is speaking truth, but when you are unsure, that's when you should learn the discipline to red flag them. They will talk enough to reveal their true intentions which is usually wrapped around narcissism and control over others. Work places are cult-like, families are more so, cliques, churches, sports groups, but its up to you to discern what is good for you and what is not.

Ty.

My former workplace checked these boxes….

A lot of work environments seem a little cultish.

If something seems too good to be true, it usually is. Cult victims rarely want to admit (& they still were definitely victimized, not their fault) that there were definite warning signs. But thats what the mind does, shuts out doubt & keeps reaching until we crash and burn, if the "heart" is hungry enough.

Was in a job that was run by a ceo who used to be a Jehovah witness Used most of the tricks When I quit- it was indeed like quitting a cult. Completely shunned, no contact with anyone… …although later few others got out and we did reconnect Fucking weird experience. Ultimately what saved me was… my then 4 year old daughter. And a year earlier my father died. Two events that shook me to the core and changed me and… suddenly the tricks didn’t work. I woke up.

It's a great video, but the parable needs to be accurate. Considering the subject matter it's pretty important not to use a parable that relies on the audience's ignorance. Ironically it's what cults do. The hot water frog is actually false. The "frog in boiling water" parable is often cited to illustrate the idea that people may not notice gradual changes if they occur slowly over time. However, it's not entirely accurate from a biological standpoint. Frogs are actually sensitive to temperature changes and would likely jump out if the water became too hot, rather than passively staying until boiled. So, while the metaphor is compelling, it doesn't hold up to scientific scrutiny. Nevertheless it served It's purpose for the sake of the talk.

Sarah, you look amazing. I watched the entire HBO series "The Vow", just a few years after Leah Remini's much publicized show on Scientology. Support these courageous women.

Ironic since in general TED talks give off cult vibes

Speaking about cults - getting some pretty cult-like advertisements in the middle of the video, promising success, wealth and free trainings! :) :)

I can't tell you how many idiots got angry with me when they tried to sell me their bs, they were talking about love but as soon as I questioned deeper and disagree with their stupidity, they become enraged and without any doubt they will punch me on my face if they could. Believe is about business, reasoning is about to be realistic and master of your own destiny if you learn how to analyze your own desitions.

People need love and a sense of being given purpose.. and guess what, it's what they (cults) offer at the start

Made it to 5:47 before the lip smacking broke my will to keep listening. Glad you got out of the cult!

I’m glad she left the cult, but she managed to keep the tonal affectations of a cult leader. As someone who grew up in a cult I think that manner of speaking stands out extra to me. But I’m glad she’s at least using it to spread a better message.

I always wonder why they don’t have that tingle that something is not quite right here?!?!

I am proud every time a religious Republican wakes up from that cult.

Well I did ✋🏼 why? I was lonely AF 😂

I’m loving these current political cults going on today… people are so easily led

It almost seems like being a paranoid non-joiner is a major advantage for me. I also know I'm a broken bird and have simply accepted that lot in life.

How to spot a modern day cult: 1. Red hats.

Koch Industries is an example of this. Lived it myself there.

True. Ive tried, they wont let me.

Any Magas here what are your opinions 😊😅😅

An excellent and timely lecture. All Trump Republicans should watch it

Unfortunately, humans are suggestible and none of us come into this world as anything but highly suggestible individuals. What is never called a cult is the predominant cult we are immersed in. Families are cults. Religions are cults. Philosophies are cults. In a world where we need to be highly critical there is hardly even room for a personal relationship if we are true to that principle. There are no answers, because there are no questions. We would first have to be convinced of the validity of a question. We get our cues by the universality of our behaviors. If we were not so mimetically predisposed to do pattern recognition we could be free of a lot of things. In the end we are all told how to think, because we do not know how to. Choose your cults wisely is about all you can do. You're probably on the right path if you are always wandering and not following someone's predetermine path for you. It's the experience of finding what works for you that gives you your bearings, until it doesn't work for you any more. The reason why we have popular myths about dying and being born again is because that's what we end up doing many times over in our lives. Adaptation is our friend.