How to Stand Up for Yourself

Подписаться 195 тыс.

Просмотров 64 тыс.

50% 1

You want to advocate for yourself more.
But you’re not sure how to do that.
You know you deserve to be heard, but finding the right words-and the confidence to say them-can be tough.
In this episode, I’ll show you 3 simple strategies to stand up for yourself.
Plus, I’ll reveal how to choose your battles wisely, the power of dropping disclaimers, and how to say “no” without feeling the need to justify it.
These strategies will help you assert your worth, set clear boundaries, and navigate difficult conversations with confidence.
Like what you hear? Subscribe to this podcast and leave a 5-star review!
Want a FREE communication tip each week? [Click here to join my newsletter.](www.jeffersonf...)
Want to book Jefferson to speak? [Click here to contact his team.](www.jeffersonf...)
Listen on Spotify
open.spotify.c...
Follow me on [Instagram]( / jefferson_fisher )
Follow me on [LinkedIn]( / jeffersonfisher )

Опубликовано:

18 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 506

@Jamie-m2n 14 дней назад

‘Stop attending every argument you’re invited to’. Yes!!

@Ellie-Mae 16 дней назад

"Just because they spew out garbage does not mean you are in the business of picking up trash." Wise and beautifully well spoken. 😊🇨🇦

@Kels741 9 дней назад

agreed, this is a great saying I am going to try remember.

@suzannemorrow9987 16 дней назад

At 64 , I realize that I’ve fallen into a place where I’m covered in peoples trash a lot. Thank you for pointing this out. Your help is very appreciated!

@sajibijila7348 16 дней назад

Thank you. Excellent points

@carolswarbrick1722 16 дней назад

It happens to me. As a child we have not grown up with the confidence to value ourselves. God won't judge us for this. Knowing your truth is everything . 11:53

@BrandyinIndy 16 дней назад

Healthy Boundaries 💪🏼

@lurettabatchelor8599 16 дней назад

TOUCHE ME TOO SURROUNDED BY IT👌🥳🤗💗

@Vera.ChuckandDave 14 дней назад

Happy Beatles Birthday! ❤

@gwendolynwehage6336 5 дней назад

As a Christian I like to say "no" in this way; "God is not leading me to do that." If they ask why I just repeat myself. God gave me this answer many years ago. People ask "why" because they want to argue that we are making the wrong decision, but they cannot argue with me when God is making my decisions. Also, one time someone pressured me and mocked me that I didn't hear from God, so I said; "if you don't want to accept my answer then go and argue with God, He's the One Who gave me my marching orders."

@arlambertz7199 16 дней назад

It took me months to gather the courage, and I said no to a request to take on someone else's tasks at work...WHEW!

@optomswetapatel 16 дней назад

I feel you .. I am rooting for you 🎉

@lizielita 8 дней назад

How / What did you feel?

@wisedame 16 дней назад

"No, because it's not what's best for me right now." - Perfect! Thank you.

@breakthroughmoment1647 16 дней назад

I’m trying to imagine myself saying that to my super passive-aggressive covert narcissistic mother! I can already see her going through the roof!! 😮

@janetebonanno 16 дней назад

Doesn’t work for me

@wisedame 16 дней назад

Some solutions are not for everyone.

@MrMcdonald44 16 дней назад

I love that statement about not attending every argument. Perfect.

@NanaWilson-px9ij 16 дней назад

"Letting the pitch go by" is a great way to take the energy down from a narcissist.

@1981BAJ 16 дней назад

Oooo! I like the “It’s not what’s best for me right now.” 🤯👏🏻

@31alaana 10 дней назад

I am provoked everyday at work by gang of toxic co workers and I don't respond to them. This makes them crazy 😅 and I love it

@susanphend2189 16 дней назад

Jefferson, you’re incredible in the very best way. So many people are raised with the mindset that their role is to please others. I certainly was. Saying no is a right. Thank you for reinforcing that.

@janetebonanno 16 дней назад

I love the No is a complete sentence. That phrase also works to shut down the why.

@shelleydevries7801 16 дней назад

I appreciate how you give me actual words to use in difficult situations

@ellenlebow2724 5 дней назад

You get the 5 star satisfaction award for cutting to the chase, using normal language and above all, telling us what we can literally DO in a present moment to change a trajectory, rather than getting mired in too much of the psychology behind it as if that understanding was enough.

@Rdkhk335 11 дней назад

I've been the " Disclaimer Queen" all my life & at 57, I'm finally done. Not only does it make me look weak, but it's so emotionally draining! I really appreciate all your videos! Thank you

@jodiburnett6211 16 дней назад

Don’t forget to add my southern Grama’s favorite, “Cry all you want. You’ll pee less! I said NO!!!” 😂🎉 Nothing watered down about that. I like your polite explanations as well. Thanks!

@TRiUMPhant2024 15 дней назад

😂❤

@theresabates7774 11 дней назад

I love this quirky reply. I will have to use this one. Cry more, pee less. Funny.

@Riku_addict 15 дней назад

*"Just because they spew out garbage doesn't mean we are in the business of picking up trash, you can politely tell them where it goes"* ❤

@maryanneprice9157 15 дней назад

“Stop justifying the no”… such valuable advice! 🇳🇿

@MauiJOY 16 дней назад

Many times when I say No, I add, Thank you for thinking of me though. No excuses needed!

@cindyolson5264 4 дня назад

I do this too.

@olgaaskenaziabady2072 14 дней назад

You are kind and gentle, and a great teacher and role model.Being kind does not make you a doormat. Truly assertive without anger, aggressiveness.. perfect

@user-gr7jo9qb3l 12 дней назад

Carli brings up a good point. Women are expected to be compliant, so we're always questioned when we say no

@KristySchulze 10 дней назад

“I am not in the business of picking up trash.” Developing a mindset like this is golden. I get that. Now, if I could only restrain from saying that out loud! 😅

@chrissyhudkins 16 дней назад

This is now in my top 10 favorite podcasts. I’ve been choked up and spit out, my words get snuffed, and I get walked all over. I don’t know how to stand up for myself, and all of these videos are so great for me. I’ll watch one everyday! Thank you !

@lasv69 15 дней назад

@@chrissyhudkins I’m glad to hear that you’re gaining your strength and learning to reclaim your personal power back! We get stronger together!

@chrissyhudkins 14 дней назад

@@lasv69 absolutely. I was not raised in an environment where the people I was around practiced communication in a respectful manner, and as a result I am only just learning how to appropriately respond to certain things. I find myself in heated conflict being belittled and essentially “ run over” by the person I’m speaking with. I’ve not been confident in my self worth, my knowledge, or my words. I easily lose the words I want to say as a response and I don’t recover them until later. I’ve been getting bullied in this way my entire life!

@lasv69 11 дней назад

@@chrissyhudkins I’m with you there with all that you said. I guess that’s why we’re here working on it. You’re in good company! Let’s all get stronger together! Thanks for sharing too by the way. I think these dialogues help us all. 🙏🏼

@pholst1 16 дней назад

Dear Jefferson, you are an invaluable resource and a very special person. You make a difference. Thank you.

@elizabethneely747 15 дней назад

“That is not what is best for me right now, it’s outside of my focus, I need to make another choice.” I will memorize these wonderful sentences and use them when needed. Since I’m “older“ than most of your viewers I still want to be graceful but firm with my decisions. The dynamics change with a persons age, but I’m still my own advocate. I will continue to enjoy your podcast. Thank you .

@herbie3939 11 дней назад

I can listen to Jefferson all day

@tanyajessup1329 12 дней назад

“Trashing” other people’s garbage has brought me dignity peace and ability to disconnect from others issues

@brenbrookssullivan3573 16 дней назад

I’m in marriage counseling right now, and he has a knack of flipping things around onto me. We end up in huge fights! What do I do? How do I not allow him to push my buttons. He seems to have narcissistic tendencies in his personality. Makes it hard! I enjoy your remarks and content, I listen to you every day on Instagram!

@lasv69 16 дней назад

Keep learning and living and building your power to be you regardless of who is around you. I sometimes wonder if this process you speak of is simply our opportunities for self growth for becoming better more resilient people. I empathize with where you’re at and hope that what we learn through this content can help us to live respectfully on our own terms.

@fayray9544 15 дней назад

Narcissist. There it is. Counseling will be a waste of time because the problem is not the marriage

@sheilayagodzinski5747 14 дней назад

You can't win that's their plan, don't answer . He doesn't care if the marriage works. Go to counciling by yourself , you don't deserve being treated that way.

@cosmogirl8713 14 дней назад

The best way to handle a narcissist is do not react you just admitted that he pushes your buttons so he knows what he can do.. Think use your common sense

@pavana-rhymes.with.Madonna 14 дней назад

A marriage should not be a competition - don’t feed your spouse’s narcissistic tendencies by arguing. Politely say you aren’t engaging and walk away - go outside for a walk - you’ll live longer for walking and for protecting yourself by not engaging! ❤❤❤

@JohnDoe-us4tm 16 дней назад

Agreement 💯 percent! There are times when people are trying to set you up for whatever reason; think and pause before you speak. They are trying to stir your emotions which turn into situations. So, just ignore it for the best part. My opinion.

@salsarmemimi7292 16 дней назад

My roommate/sister in law is like that with me. drives me crazy.. After listening to Jefferson more and more, I'm learning how to handle her.

@bonesfly 16 дней назад

Another way of saying "No" that I kinda don't like but is effective is-- "I just don't have the bandwidth for that right now." If it's something you want to do when time frees up, you can add, "But please feel free to ask me again in a few months and see where I'm at." Love the simple but brilliant wisdom coming from your car, Jeffrey. Thanks for the ride. :)

@Dawn33q 13 дней назад

I loved this , I was a people pleaser for most of my life .then i realized i wasn't living my Life . Just started saying "NO " without adding an explanation. feel very proud of myself and truly free. thank you Jefferson

@youngrobert9995 10 дней назад

Jefferson, your podcast are filled w/ timeless advice and value. Never worry about "Just rolling with it" because each episode only gets better when you do. You have no idea how helpful you have been. Thank you! ❤

@Catlady77777 16 дней назад

"That's not what's best for me" spoke to me, and I see myself using it in the future.

@deniseb7013 15 дней назад

I agree with everything you said on this podcast. I have had no choice but to stand up for myself since my husband never has. The more I do stand up for myself the easier it gets and I feel more empowered when I do. 🌹

@CindyBrockwell 16 дней назад

Wish I'd known this years ago. I'm a people-pleaser, but am working to undo it! "No is a complete sentence." I love that!! I love all your podcasts. So very helpful, thank you!!

@georgiachatzitheodoridou3806 16 дней назад

Thank you for this podcast.So far I used to justify my NO. Now I know I don't have to .I have to say NO unapologetically.

@charlottejones5310 13 дней назад

We do not have to respond to every enticement nor say yes to everything. It takes discernment. Love God. Love Others. Love yourself. Therein is the answer. God bless.

@acts238believer1 2 дня назад

Amen to that! If I don’t value or respect the person that is throwing the trash out, I might listen, but their words are repealed. They don’t care about my opinion, why should I waste my time and breath.

@sharronbeauregard292 16 дней назад

You are always so bang on - the only thing I have to complain about is when one of these situations arise….I can never remember what you said!!

@mahimahi5457 12 дней назад

Man this channel is a direct answer to prayer!! I've been feeling so bad about myself. My self confidence is totally shot like it never has been before. Just due to one person and one comment that I should have thrown in the trash instead of trying to explain to everyone in the whole damn office why that comment was ridiculous. There was me, broom and dustpan in hand, bending over in front of everyone sweeping the floor like a damn fool. Liked and subscribed. Thank you brother.

@Krista-rt9ww 11 дней назад

Thank you, thank you thank you!! I too often apologize for my NO’S. Perfect Advice 5:49!!!

@SheilaDay-k6q 13 дней назад

There is wisdom in conserving your energy and protecting your peace.

@jodyporta2188 16 дней назад

This is really helpful. I find that when I say no and attempt to walk away, the offensive person continues to follow me and won’t stop. It can be exhausting.

@janetebonanno 16 дней назад

Me too

@tanicefraser3765 16 дней назад

Replay “what did I say when you asked”

@leilanifernandez2638 15 дней назад

Say... "I said, No." If they continue. Say... "Stop."

@michaelynazzopardi2705 12 дней назад

It is great to get these tips. I've spent my life trying to be nice and realizing I'm angry with others because I've given too much and can't balance because of fear of being mean. To realize it's kindness to set boundaries is empowering

@janerasimmons3445 15 дней назад

I love "it's not what's best for me right now." Or even without the "right now, " depending on the situation.

@leahpuliz812 13 дней назад

“It’s not what’s best for me right now.” I will definitely adopt this phrase. Thank you! 😊

@jeffersonfisher 13 дней назад

You got this!

@linegauthier7230 16 дней назад

Jefferson, I am one of your students. I learn so much for you. I can't wait for the book ... thank you so much!

@gladysroth7471 9 дней назад

I am very happy to hear your views. I'm 68 and have learned from you. Also, I understand many of your responses are calming to remember. Thanks

@DeStresswithDee 14 дней назад

Protect your Peace in all ways. Beautiful Sentient Being🙏❤️❤️

@Bridgina 16 дней назад

I have learned how to block family members because I am worth standing up for and becoming stronger than their negativity! I will remain Positive and my stress and emotional peace have been such a sweet retreat away from them. Breathing easy is the best air! Thank you and I am loving all I am learning in my old age!

@Milestonemonger 16 дней назад

Same here. Family members can be the hardest people to stand up to because they use guilt, shame, and blame. At my age (59) I've learned to simply not give a f**k. 😊

@susannakotoff7095 4 часа назад

after years of suppression with narc criticisms and narc behavior, it gets worse the gaslighting and antagonizing with narc sil and bully mil. No contact, no longer putting up with bad behaviour

@gilbertwalker6769 12 дней назад

Great communication advice! Thanks, Jefferson, for encouraging us to be clear, concise and respectful.

@ritadennis4893 15 дней назад

Thank you… again for encouraging me. I was raised to be a people pleaser and at age 66 I find myself slipping back into that. With my husband as my biggest supporter I’ve come a long way. With you teaching me whether thru my inbox or podcast, I feel like I can just say “No”. Period. Can’t wait for your book

@norahoelscher522 14 дней назад

Me too!

@kwalking7 13 дней назад

Agreed!

@Jbo143 13 дней назад

I'm learning so much from these! Asserting myself and saying no without a back up explanation really helps. That stops others from challenging my explanation which intern is challenging my answer of no. Thanks Jefferson!

@BrandyinIndy 16 дней назад

Choose your Battles

@asseljumagaliyeva1348 12 дней назад

Jefferson, I love all of your podcasts and suggestions. Communication with people, especially with difficult ones, became so much easier. Tips about not being in picking up garbage business is wow 🤯 so much needed to hear! Thank you 🙏

@stolenmomentsentertainment9682 8 дней назад

Appreciate you giving actual real tools to approach difficult conversations. They need to be had!

@micheals766 12 дней назад

Jeff your channel is so helpful and amazing. I’m a new executive at 30 years old, so I get written off a lot. I am working towards becoming coo for a major company one day and am currently working at proctor and gamble. It gets very intimidating and everyone likes to tell me be confident and assertive but humble and empathetic but no one tells me how. That is besides you! Keep doing what you’re doing, your advice and podcasts are invaluable to people everywhere! Thank you!

@TerriNew_inciteproductions 16 дней назад

Thank you Jefferson! You are gifted! So appreciate your wisdom!

@lorigardilcic4976 16 дней назад

Learning too not answer in a peaceful, cinfifent way rather than passive-aggressive punishing silence is something I need to practice

@rosemarieleoncekealy2988 16 дней назад

Hi Jefferson ! I can appreciate what you shared with Karlie on how to respond to the “why not” question . That why not comes up so often in one’s everyday conversation . Thank you for sharing your knowledge on how to have healthier conversations which helps me personally with initiating my boundaries in my conversations .

@KimVanEyck 16 дней назад

These tips for saying no are very helpful (say it directly, don't water it down, keep it short and sweet etc.). Your comments about responding to people who ask why you are saying "no" have also caused me to react more respectfully to others who say "no" to me!

@lizielita 16 дней назад

Thank you! Always enjoy your videos and learn from you, you're helping me growth and heal. Be good Jeff

@barbd180 16 дней назад

I love all your tips - so simple and direct. Many of us always say Sorry first, and always offer excuses. When you do that, they counter the excuse, so I stopped doing that. I remember when I was a little girl and would ask my dad a question he didn't want to answer, or if I asked Why?, he'd respond, "You writing a book?" I find that to be a lighthearted response, meaning "none of your business." And I knew he wasn't going to give me an answer.

@mhal2 15 дней назад

Ha! I've been asked ... "writing a book or part-time cop"? 😅

@kengenhanma 15 дней назад

mainstream stuff about self-improvement are so overrated.The best investment you can make is in yourself. Books are the ultimate learning tool. Reading Bruce Thornwood's Unveiling your hidden potential helped me build discipline and separate my mindset from 90% of other people

@foolbritannia956 16 дней назад

I was told look at a situation as a spectator . Detached and separated like watching the TV you don’t have to go to every drama you are invited to. No answer, is still an answer!

@carolebruyns5683 6 дней назад

I get a lot from podcast..... and picked up trash way too long in life. Thank you for sharing this valuable information.

@patfrantz6606 16 дней назад

Wow, I sure can use this. I have a tendency to get worked up if someone is questioning me further on a subject, then I get angry, this will definitely help. I like the take out the trash too! So often I feel you have to make a response but with these answers, it makes it so much simpler. I really love your podcasts. Such useful information. We should teach this in school, from first grade! Especially girls, they need to learn how to stand up for themselves.

@kathrynswihart4445 16 дней назад

This one hits home for me as it's something I struggle with. Thanks for making it so simple to say what's best for ME - wow! What a concept! Thanks, Jefferson!

@TRiUMPhant2024 15 дней назад

When we discover our value and what it is that is important to us, we find it easier to say no to other people’s needs, wants, and desires for our lives.

@JeniferDreis 14 дней назад

Know your worth! Fabulous. I used to say sorry...I don't do that anymore. I also don't allow myself to be guilted into things anymore. It is completely OK to say no.

@robinvanroyen103 11 дней назад

Here's a topic suggestion : How to deal with someone (close) who talks too much, all the time, about his own interests, so someone who is not really making an effort to create a real conversation or connection. Thanks a lot for your great content 🙂👍👍

@DanielaPérez-m5c 10 дней назад

Hello Jefferson! My name is Daniela, and I'm from Cuba. You are really helpful and kind, thank you.

@optomswetapatel 16 дней назад

J you are one of the person whom i stumbled up on and never looked back. I moved to US in late 2021. Culture, language and nuances are different then where I come from. I am multilingual. English is my 2nd language and even though I am proficient at work environment ( superficially) I actually struggle coordinating my thoughts ( I do lot of code switching) also I am trauma survivor and suffer from anxiety. You have helped me develop my language and confidence. It do feel empowered. I make notes of your statements and practice it in real world and come back to board ( what worked and what does not) I loved your respons in this podcast about why not.' Its not best for me right now' and 'I need to make a different choice' it was like wooaahh 😮 thank you for what you do. If you think i can help you in anyway it would be my honor. Appreciate you so much! ❤

@ZiaullahPopalzai 14 дней назад

Watching from Afghanistan Thank you Mr.Fisher ✌🏼🙂

@megganvandermast8441 15 дней назад

Thank you, Jefferson. Your suggestions are so simple but powerful. I feel my self confidence elevating already. I'm excited to try them.

@Everydayisagift- 16 дней назад

Jefferson, I am so grateful for these videos and your ways of explaining these huge helpful ways of communicating. Thank you for your podcast too.. I listen at every opportunity to all of these. God Bless You. 🙏

@cathyglo 4 дня назад

I am grateful for your coaching.

@mettekyster4131 12 дней назад

Dear Jefferson, Thank you so much for your input! It is very useful; very simple and lucid. Hope you will go on for ever! Best wishes, Margaret.

@chrisclass3026 3 дня назад

One of my coworkers told me about your podcast. And I love each one that I’ve listened to! Thank you so much. I can feel the wisdom in what you say. Very helpful. 👍

@TheIlluminationStation-p4w 15 дней назад

This is really good, a channel I'll actually press buttons for 😂 since apparently that's the way were having relationships in this crazy new age...after we watch and like and subscribe to this video may I suggest that we go give someone a hug, or hold a more than 5 min conversation free of our devices today...God bless, be well, may the good guys win this war we're engaged in sooner than later!

@donnawoodham868 15 дней назад

Don't say it at all ,.. or jump right in . Love it . I need to jump right in more often .

@ariellandau1862 9 дней назад

Thank you so much for blessing us with your posts and podcasts - they are true gifts to the world.

@ladylyonteeth3952 8 дней назад

Aww. You’re so amazing. Wish I had a little Jefferson to carry around in my pocket. ❤

@VanessaLehua 16 дней назад

This came right on time! I literally just stood up for myself by scheduling a meeting with my director and I naturally did what you stated in this video. I was nervous about it, but after being direct and stating my points I feel so much better. When a situation arises and one has to stand up for themself, we have to definitely know our worth as you mentioned. Thank you.

@realdeal139 15 дней назад

Jeff is the best!

@janerose1945 12 дней назад

love your gentle presentations - I see mostly the shorts - which are fabulous. Thank you for the terrific topics covered. I have time today to binge a few of the longer ones!

@michele0333 16 дней назад

Love your channel! Thanks

@PhilannaParnell-ns8nl 16 дней назад

Thank you for taking time to educate!

@TEE-yf8gm 16 дней назад

I just wanna say thank you for this channel.

@cadventure9820 16 дней назад

Jefferson I've been following you for a while now and love the new podcast, keep them coming, the tips have been so useful and pretty easy to follow when you give it a go!! I am listening & following from the UAE

@WendyGriffin-of1pv 16 дней назад

So helping me grow. Thank you Jefferson!

@lindabuchanan3810 10 дней назад

I'm so happy I found you.I take your advice and I listen to you all the time

@lillyhernandez4865 16 дней назад

Hi Jefferson, thank you for your advice. When I say no to someone, I say no I have a prior commitment. I leave it at that most people understand and don’t push back. Mainly because most people understand that life is busy and people make plans in their lives.

@cgoodson2010 16 дней назад

Thanks so much, Jefferson!

@emesezitasomoskeri1876 14 дней назад

I love your contents and I appreciate your dedication. Thank you Jefferson

@michaelpanzarella7490 16 дней назад

I wish this podcast was around 10 years ago :). Have been following you for quite a while now and truly thankful for your insights!

@JoanneHazelton-u7u 16 дней назад

Thank you for such great advice and love your examples which puts it into real life scenarios.

@chagrilama 16 дней назад

Response to Karly (Carly?) I like #2 better! First response can raise "how can I make it better for you?" The video is magnificent - really great advice - thanks!

@nancyhensley2310 16 дней назад

Your clarity is brilliant!

@SandiSalazar 12 дней назад

I can do exactly what you said when one of my sisters gets into it and tries to start arguing with me. But when it is a woman at work that tries to sabotage my work and get me into trouble, that is when I lose it and that is the WORST time to lose it! It can be so easy to manage my temper with most people but so difficult with her! Thank you so much for your great advice. I am definitely going to work on it! (Age 55 from Texas.)

@rootedinfaithmentoring9851 15 дней назад

This is my ask of you Jefferson! Assertiveness is so needed. You speak with much more eloquence and help than I could have imagined! I love that you help us understand how to be assertive and stop the why’s. ILOVE” It’s outside my focus. RightNow”.