How to Handle Interruptions 

As a professional with ADHD - I really appreciate you being mindful that sometimes interruptions are NOT intentional. That said, it's important for AuDHD folks to remember to keep your notebook nearby to jot down responses so we don't forget and be mindful that a conversation is a two way road.

“I need to understand, are we having a conversation or am I attending a lecture?” Priceless‼️ I love it‼️😁

What frustrates me the most is that when someone interrupts me in the middle of my thoughts I find it hard at times to remember where I left off. If I'm sharing something personal I'm not looking to be told what I should do. I am simply trying to be heard . Listening is a dying art .

Jefferson you explain very clearly. You have a very kind way of dealing with subjects and you have very kind eyes, thank you.

I have been a chronic interrupter for my whole life. I haven’t been able to help it. ADHD. Thank you for the affirmation that it’s a thing. I have, however, begun, making an effort to not interrupt because I hate it when people interrupt me. I have a few of those in my life as well. my sister introduced me to you and I am forever grateful to her for it. I have to listen to your podcast a couple of times and take notes. I don’t want to forget anything I learned from you.

I taught school for 17 years. Each week we had to meet as a team with others on our grade level. I HATED those meetings because I was never heard! I was constantly interrupted. I tried saying someone’s name and they would turn Theo head towards me and look “through” me, then in the middle of my sentence they would turn away and address someone else. I tried raising my hand, standing up, touching their arm…. Nothing worked. For 17 years I cam away from those meetings befuddled, disappointed, confused and overlooked. I wish I had these techniques back then. I could have had a better school career. Thank you

When my 92 year old mother was trying to say something to me when we were visiting her doctor, the nurse kept babbling to us, making idle small talk. She was being dismissive of my mom because of her age and worsening dementia. Finally, my mom saId to me in a dead-pan voice, “I'll write you a letter.” Perfecto!!

I confess I’m an unintentional serial interrupter😢 I come from a big family and that is exactly the way we communicated (in a happy way) - if I had to wait until no one was speaking, I would have never gotten to speak. I am definitely working on being a better listener and not interrupting. thank you for acknowledging that not all interruptions are intentional rudeness.

I work at a homeless shelter. Much of our population is distressed. They have much to say but very little time for one on one interaction. Interruption in a constant mode. Patience is the key to most dealings. Mutual respect is necessary. My compliments to your suggested approach. I think your techniques will work in most situations.

I love how you in a elegant way say it straight & properly. Thank you

Thank you for your podcast! Admittedly, I've been the interrupter and my daughter has called me out. She let me finish, then came straight back with "As I was saying..." I felt I'd been put in my place. It was uncomfortable. I apologized. I often interrupted bc I was sure I'd forget my point otherwise. I've attended Celeb🎉ate Recovery for years. In small groups, there is no crosstalk. I've become a better listener and I count on God's Holy Spirit, living in me, to give me the right words to speak, when it's my turn. Your words are so helpful. I appreciate the manner with which you communicate. Both parties can feel respected and the conversations are productive. Five Stars Jefferson!!! !🎉❤

This is some of the best advice I’ve ever heard. I deal with this every day. Everything that was said is absolutely 100% true. Thx for this insight.

I love these longer segments. If only I can remember your advice when I am in the middle of a situation. Thank you for sharing!

So here’s what he is saying: Let them interrupt the first time & let them talk; (so not get defensive, controlling, insecure). Its a strategy move & prime move for their second interruption. After they are done, pick up from where you left instead of addressing their point. If they interrupt again, use their “name” & say the power phrase “I can’t hear you when you interrupt me”! Another way for repeated interruptions “I want you to listen to you but you need to let me finish “ If they keep interrupting, then it’s time to assert a boundary: “I need to make sure, am i on a way street, or a two way street?” Or “ are we having a conversation or am i attending a lecture?” “If you continue to interrupt me i need to end the conversation” and then stick to it & hang up or get up & walk out. When you are the one who needs to interrupt in a dominant conversation, Say using their name “i know i am interrupting” or “i need to interrupt you “ use this when clarifying an objective fact like a date eg. If they continue talking use their name slowly but repeatedly. For chronic interrupters change the mode of communication saying “ is that ok we pick up this conversation another time” and then just change the game saying “ I find we communicate better over text, email or some other instant messaging. If they ask why say “ i find that you interrupt me pretty frequently and it slows down the conversation” or “when you interrupt me that way i feel like you are being dismissive of my ideas. “ Thanks Jefferson, love your content. All the best everyone 😊

Thank you for tackling these topics. Communication has been one of my limiting factors for quite sometime. I struggle on both sides of communication (speaker and listener). I watch your content often and appreciate what you are doing.

“Let them interrupt” and say what they need to say but pick up where you left off when they stop. That’s damn genius!! I’m using this on my interrupting husband. I interrupt too sometimes so maybe this will stop me from doing it back!

The person I report to interrupts constantly. I hate needing to have a conversation with her or even talk about something important. This is absolutely brilliant! I'm going to try it on my husband, too. He's a professional interrupter!

Shalom. When I lived in Hong Kong, I learned that its a very big cultural no no to raise ones voice during a conversation. Respect is lost to that person. Allowing each person to finish their sentence is ingrained. It was a calm environment to function within. Then of course if you didn’t agree you gave out a karate chop (ha, ha). Thank you Mr. Fisher for giving us such insights, communication in a calm and respectful manner can only lead to success. Thank you. Michal from Jerusalem, Israel.

Love your suggestions. Help me with someone who gives monologues to quick questions.

I'm a training presenter, I'm constantly interrupted and side tracked as I'm trying to get through the material in time limited back to back calls. Listening to you gives me a sense of calm. I do let them interrupt and I usually can real them back on track, but I love your approach as it gives me reassurance and a sense of relief that I got this. Thank you. Love your presenting skills and delivery. I share these everywhere.

I used this lately and it actually worked! They were stunned. Thank you so very much Jefferson.

Great advice! Seldom are we educated in the art of communication! Thank you, Jefferson!

I wish I'd known these skills a couple of weeks ago. I had someone that was constantly rude to me and I didn't really even know them. The rudeness got worse every time I was around them. I was told to tell them "you can't treat me like that anymore" ... They did to me what you are saying in this video and I just got more and more upset as they smiled and laughed at me as I listed everything they'd done. I was the monster and they became a victim out of me accusing them of things they could deny and call me "extremely sensitive" ... I had to just leave. I'll never go back and I'll never see them again, but this has happened to me before and I believe I'll handle it differently next time.

My best friend is 81 and you're so right, his memory is not good and he remembers something and wants to share it immediately. I've learned over time to just allow him to interrupt me. Also I believe that in my family some people interrupt as their lifestyle, as one of the younger ones I learned from them. Once someone pointed out that I did I've had to retrain myself to stop that habit.

I'd love to watch your take on helping deaf people who use speech reading to augment the limited range of sounds that we can hear, but can hardly discern the message. Your statement, "I can't hear you when you interrupt" takes on a whole new meaning for me.

Finally! A podcast that gives me tips and tricks to better communicate. In the few short podcasts I've learned so much ! Thank you.

Fabulous information! As a paralegal (25 years) I find that many divorces and human conflict arise from poor communication. Love this channel. I'm teaching my older kids your ideas as well.

Dear Mr. Fisher, I would encourage you to write a book with all of these topics. I need this book in my life desperately. I'll look into this deeper in case you have a book. Thank you for your communication skills. That you are sharing with all of us

Thank you so much for demystifying the art of communication. Not only do I learn news skills but I’m becoming a better person for it.

My receptionist coworker has a great tactic that really works! When someone interrupts her on the phone, she says, "go ahead". She says it in a calm flat voice. The most I've ever heard her have to use. It is three times before the person realizes what they're doing and corrects themselves. I've instituted this. Love your videos and your approach!

Thank you!!!!! I have a friend who constantly interrupts. She is very sweet, but she has ADHD. Giving her grace is exactly what I needed to hear.

My husband has ADHD, and this two way conversation are very rare between us. I am listening lectures most of the time. So often I just remome myself from his precense. Now I will try this , thank you❤ greetings from Finland

I think it was on a podcast with John Delony that I first heard you speak. I was an immediate fan. LOVE your podcasts and the Instagram posts. I have been a customer service professional for many years and realize that you really can "teach an old dog new tricks"! Thanks for that!

You come across as kind, polite, having high emotional intelligence and well spoken. Your parents raised you well.

Perfect reminders. Not only being respectful regardless, importantly set boundaries gracefully . All of the above to achieve the most effective communication. Love it

I’m loving that most videos are in the car. I spy a car seat! Even JF, the most talented attorney and valuable social media content creator knows that his peace and quiet ends the minute he closes the car door. 😂❤ Your humanity is relatable and your generous wisdom is appreciated. Thank you, Jefferson. From a mom, a therapist, and a child of God who benefits from your content. 😊

Thank you! I’m Italian & I talk fast & tend to interrupt. This is very helpful for me.

Just found your channel a couple days ago and found it so unbelievably useful!!!! Many thanks for what you're doing. I can't imagine how you came to collect all that insight but I'm here to absorb all the wisdom you're sharing 🙏🏼 thanks

I really enjoy your podcasts. Practically my entire family is ADHD, or have been made this way by the rest of us. To hear a human acknowledge there are times when interrupters cannot help it was so appreciated. Thank you for making that point.

Just love and appreciate your words

I came up with something in high school. I noticed that when people interrupt you, you instinctively cut yourself off. I started setting an intention before starting to speak, that I would focus on getting to the end of my phrase no matter what, and nothing was going to stop me. If someone missed something important because they were trying to talk over me, that was their problem because they should have been listening the first time, and I wasn't repeating myself. I have an uncle who likes to constantly interrupt me every two or three words to argue against what I had just begun to say. I developed an approach for that as well. When he tried to interrupt, I just got loud for a couple of syllables. For example, something like "What I was TRYING to say is that I DISAGREE because of THAT ASPECT of the situation."

Future video suggestion: A common thing I run up against with certain people is when I'm talking and they make an assumption and misunderstand what I'm trying to say. By the time I realize what is happening, it's like we would have to rewind a minute and start over. I honestly think it results from a different way of thinking. Sometimes it is defensiveness and sometimes just random ideas and I know it will happen with specific people I know but I don't know how to head it off.

Thank you. My Australian husband is a big extrovert - he also likes to dominate conversations and interrupt constantly. I find I don't talk as much as I did 15 years ago, and it's quite embarrassing when I see him with most American people.

People really like you because you are very smart and you are incredibly in touch with your whole being. You genuinely care and want to help people and I believe in you. Thank you for being you Jefferson Fisher❣

⭐⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Thank you for your wisdom and kind observations. I just realized, in part because of your topic here, that I most likely have, and had ADHD all of my life, my brain works differently and interrupting is just one of the symptoms. Just recently, I've been working hard at putting systems in place, to prevent myself from interrupting. I realized I interrupt because of two things: I always felt that a conversation was meant to be a back and forth exchange of ideas and stories, which would be an indication that I was attentive to the speaker or intersted in more details. Secondly, because I forget, within seconds, the input or questions that zip through my brain. Therefore, I tend to be less attentive If I'm trying to hold back those thoughts instead of blurting them out immediately. Needless to say, I am a work in progress, but I appreciate all of your insights on this and other topics.

THANK YOU Greetings from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia 🇲🇾

Thanks for this episode. The method you provided to help us interject in a conversation is vital and much more polite. Now that I know them, I will use them more often to avoid fraying my relationships. Additionally, the fact that you include cultural differences is important. In meetings in Italy, it is normal to interrupt others or talk over one another. Sadly, I was not born there, though my family is from there. This masked my ADHD until my 40s. When it was discovered that interrupting was also part of a neurological issue with our working memory, which wants to interrupt before we forget a point, adjunct, or clarification to whatever someone is talking about, it was a revelation. It truly is not meant to be rude. Thanks for your kind advice. Once we get to know someone and trust them, I will ask them to tug on their ear to let me know I’ve strayed or am monopolizing the conversation. It is a form of “active listening” that we do. We truly are neurologically different and thus have different communication styles. Does that mean Italy is filled with ADHD? (My theory: yes, I mean, we have a lot of creativity, hot heads, and tardiness…lol).

I get interrupted a lot by a loved one. I know it is a habit he learned from his family. When he interrupts, I stop talking, listen to what he has to say, then give a short, genuine response. After that, I don’t finish what I was saying and do something else. I end the conversation. If he says, “what were you saying?” I say, “I don’t remember.” His interrupting has reduced.

That’s me, ADHD. I try so hard to not interrupt. I wish I didn’t ever interrupt people and I wish I could remember what I wanted to say when I had something to say. My brain goes so fast it just goes in and out faster than most people can get the thought in. I’m glad people understand that ADHD peopledon’t do it on purpose. And that most of us, we’re trying to not do it.

The YT algorithm recommended me these vids. Yep, totally agree. Been doing something similar for almost 2 decades now. I ask for people's cooperation and set boundaries. But when people do not respect the boundaries, I just tell them I cannot continue with the conversation and leave. Not applicable to all situations of course but has saved me a lot of headache and feelings of resentment towards others. And most people change up their behavior when confronted like that. Great vid.

This is very helpful and I'm really liking the practical communication skills you're teaching!

Thanks for these useful ideas and techniques. Thanks for being clear that some of us can't help but to interrupt--I grew up in a household that interruptions meant your full engagement and were welcome--added energy to the conversation. It's taken me years to not interrupt others.

I am an interrupter at times. I wasn't always that way. I don't know when I started doing it. I'm embarrassed about it when I realize it. I think it is anxiety from working in very toxic environments from extended periods of to es. I catch myself at times. Sometimes, I've worked with plenty of people who do it too and I guess you catch it yourself if you aren't aware. Also, when growing up parents could shut things down when us kids were talking about something with quick replies and settle an issue. That was that. They were just doing things how it was done back then. I do not have bad intentions but it can be several reasons that I'm unaware of when I do it to others. I consider my self a kind and considerate person. I just make these mistakes and correct if I notice. Lots of times people do it too without realizing it.

I'm glad you addressed the awareness of other cultural behaviours. In the work that I do I communicate with multicultural backgrounds, and saying anything that would call one out would be considered bad form. Often I wait for a pause then jump right in, which I observe in the individual blabbing away is that they then pause to listen without knowing any difference nor feeling offended. Your tip about inserting one's name as a pause marker is also a good one. Thanks for that

My problem is that I interrupt myself! LOL Jefferson, your content is truly TOP LEVEL! 👋👋👋

Jefferson, thank you for your enlightening discussions on communication. There’s been a gap with the pandemic that left so many of us with deficient communication skills. So grateful for your help!

This is personally relative for me... you provided some great awareness for me as a violator and victim...Thanks Jefferson

Thank you Jefferson. My wanting to correct others behavior and watching your vids, actually helped me improve my own conversational flaws..... a bit. And ty for helping others understand why some interrupt.... as a part of their personality.... or inability to remember what they want to say later.

Thank you, Jefferson. I have a close friend who interrupts me. I do excuse it more often than I should. I "let her" because I understand she is just excited and blurts her thoughts out. I will now take it to the second step of using her name and gently letting her know that I want to hear what she has to say, but she needs to let me finish. I appreciate your advice on changing the mode of communication. It actually saved my marriage years ago. When my husband and I would disagree, it often ended in an argument when we communicated verbally. I began writing to him if I had an issue with something. He would write back. There were no raised voices, no saying things we didn't mean in anger, and our "words" were heard. Thank you for that validation.

I rarely meet anyone who is good at listening for any length of time. I spend most of my time listening. It's difficult to have genuine exchanges with most people. I can count on one hand the people with whom I can have a give-and-take conversation and exchange of thoughts and ideas.

I am always feeling smarter when I listen to these thoughts. I could watch them repeated.

I live in Madeira, I am British, What annoys me is you can be in a bar asking for something to drink, and an interupter will walk up and start asking for what they want, and totally do not care if you were here first.

Thank you for your great advice. I have a person in my Bible study group that interrupts when I'm speaking so I let her. Evidently what I have to say isn't important to her so she doesn't need to hear it. She would glean no advantage to my viewpoint anyway so it's unless to make my point heard. Evidently she already knows everything so I keep my comments to myself.

You are fascinating, educational, fun and always, always helpful! Thank you so much!!!

Jefferson, I love how you handle people whose brains I have a neurodivergent brain so ADD or ADHD or whatever you wanna call it and sometimes I interrupt not thinking that I’m interrupting because I’m worried I’m gonna lose the thought because it zips out of my brain that fast if I’m aware of it, I try to catch it, but it is important to teach people that there are some people who can’t help it you know it just Are it’s just the way our brain works. It’s the thought moves through our brain so fast that we actually lose it if we don’t speak it or take action with it or write it or whatever and sometimes it’s important and sometimes we can’t go back and get what that thought was because it moved by so fast so I just wanna say thank you thank you thank you for also addressing this issue and I would love to hear more Thoughts you have or techniques on me working with my own divergent brain in communicating with other people you know sometimes it’s not just handling the other person. It’s how we handle ourselves better thank you thank you thank you I have been you. I think you and I just love it at least I found you God bless your wonderful addition to this world. You are serving this world so well. society isn’t teaching manners and politeness and conversation techniques and we used to learn this. It’s it’s important. It’s really important. It’s like taking cursive handwriting out of school. Yes you need to learn curse of handwriting ha ha ha ha at least that’s my old mindset. I’m 67 so maybe curse of handwriting isn’t important anymore, but I can’t imagine my life without being able to sign my name.

This is SO helpful. The attention to the name, what a good tactic! Would love a video on how to shut down "baiting". How to assertively but politely put an end to someone just looking for information out of you.

Hello 👋, Jefferson, Your Communication with your ideals of interruptions was fundamentally easy to understand , no more frustrations Communication Thank you 🙏 .

Great options for handling interruptions! Thanks for sharing! 👍🏻👏🏻

I love your content! Stumbled upon it, and I am so glad I did! I appreciate this information, and all lessons I have learned! Let them ! That’s great ! I used to react, now I respond! I also pray before a tough conversation! Sometimes we need to ask for patience while extending grace!

Another great video and more great advice. Thank you.

When it’s frequent and trying to take over the conversation, my favorite response is to interrupt them gracefully, then say, “is it okay if I talk while you interrupt?” That is situation dependent though. YMMV

When someone has been on a speech highway for 15 minutes, straight, you really have to interrupt : )))

My favorite is "I'm sorry. Please forgive me for speaking while you were interrupting." This after being repeatedly interrupted by the same person.

Always, Always Excellent tips & advice! Thanks, from one Texan to another.

Such very good intelligent information that you have. Sometime older people do that because they have to hurry up and say what’s on their mind before it leaves their mind.

I'd love to learn how to handle a tough conversation with someone who needs help for a problem (addiction conversations, lying, anger, outbursts, etc) but they turn the conversation/deflect to let you know what they think is something that is wrong with you.

What if I am the one who interrupts? Sometimes I do, and I try, but it's hard not to do it. Some people think that a monolog is better than a conversation. Thank you for making it clear that some of us can't help it.

Master class! I am here to learn!!!!

Hey, my first time commenting here! I'm Tatyana, tuning in from Canada (eh!). First off, I just want to express my gratitude for the valuable content Jefferson provides-your insights are truly the most practical and impactful I've come across on social media. Thank you for your hard work; you genuinely make a difference! Now, onto why I'm here. I noticed that the tips shared in this episode seem more applicable to situations where the person who is handling interruption isn’t concerned about maintaining a good relationship afterward (more like court opponents). But when it comes to family, friends, or good co-workers-where preserving those relationships matters-I’d approach it slightly differently: 1. Similar to your advice, but instead of just resuming after being interrupted, I’d say something like, 'Now, let’s get back to where I was interrupted (eye contact).' This subtly points out the interruption without being direct, and a smart listener will catch on without feeling offended. 2. If there’s a second interruption, I’d gently say, 'Sorry (eh, Canada!), but let me finish first, or I might lose my train of thought.' This way, you assert your right to speak without coming off as harsh. 3. And hopefully, we won’t need a third step when it comes to family, friends, or co-workers, haha! Thank you!

I love the perspective of understanding that some people are wired in a way that makes them need to express their thought immediately. As a teacher, I have several little people like this when I am delivering my three minute focus lesson for the whole class. I am going to try your strategies. I think the second one, "NAME, I cant hear you when you interrupt me," could be very effective in the classroom.

I'm learning from your video's thanks 👍 from Oz🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🙏💝

I took notes😊. I’m learning new options for a difficult conversation with my daughter.

I am really enjoying receiving your news letters & loving these longer videos/podcasts. It helps me greatly to have the explanations & your examples of how (calm slow tone-saying their name) to respond. Keep ‘em coming and thank you so much for all you do Jefferson! 👍🏼🙏🏼

Brilliant and practical advice Jefferson! Keep up the good work!

There is no word to describe your knowledge. I am so happy I found you here and listen everything you say and following in my day to day life . Great stuff . Thank you .❤

Thank you for your continued help in education and communication. Your suggestions hold great value. In the workplace, an individual continues with profanity as well as talking/ yelling at people. This is foreign to me but is tolerated. I hear, “ That’s just how he is.” Seems like a bully tactic which works. Any verbal suggestions? Thanks for your help, I await your reply.

Thanks, Jefferson sir. I find your shorts and now podcast very effective. It's cool to understand how to communicate without argument. Love from India.

I wish I had a photographic memory so when all these tips are needed, I could recall. I’ve been following you in YT, FB and IG all for over a year….i appreciate all of everything you say. I am constantly being interrupted and people also talk over me. Usually, I let them ‘rant’ then when they finally stop, I ask, if I may now speak.

Jefferson, thank you so much for your mention of people who mean no harm but may have a condition that makes interruptions a bit different (Ex: ADHD). Keeping this in mind takes away a defensive or strong response. Responding & asserting boundaries in a calm, non violent, way is much more effective. 👍🏼☺️🙏🏼

Very valid,information for day to day experiences,much appreciated in dealing with difficult people,Also clearly explained!

Huh... I always believed that I hated all lawyers, but your approach, your demeanor, your sharing of valuable communication skills, is making me challenge that belief. I'm getting a lot out of your videos, thank you.

Soooo helpful! Thank you Jefferson! I’m going to write down notes! God Bless you 🙏🏻

Interrupters aren't really listening to you to begin with. They are more focused on what they're going to say next. It's especially frustrating when they interrupt with a one-up (they think they are relating to the experience you're sharing) then hijack and ultimately kill the convo.

I love this. I want to communicate better with the young people where I work.

Great content, well worth the listen. I’m applying your suggestions with great results. Many thanks, and keep it coming.

Does a person who dominates most conversations consider that being interrupted is the only way others may get a word in? Some people are never done talking!

I have a problem having a conversation with an individual who always turns it into an argument, they don't care about what I have to say, it's all about them. I've had to teach this person to calm down, when I'm finished talking, then I will listen to you. And I have to keep bringing them back to the point. Who is this person you ask?? It was my mother. I had to be the adult. Just thought I would share my experience. 😊

Jefferson, thank you so much for this amazing episode! I especially liked the idea that sometimes it’s better to let someone interrupt you the first time to avoid conflicts and set a more respectful tone for the conversation. I would love to hear your opinion on how to best handle interruptions in more formal settings, such as work meetings, where discussion time is limited. Do you have any additional advice or techniques for these situations? Once again, thank you for your hard work, and I look forward to your future episodes! Your channel is a true treasure trove of valuable information for improving communication

I have learned so much from your communication videos. I just lost my husband on Good Friday. He was hanging a banner for Easter that said He is Risen. He was wearing a run devil run t-shirt. We had just finished the service. I am devastated as he ended up dying Good Friday but they pronounced his death on Easter. I am lost in communicating about my heart as I am a mess. People don’t understand the depth of this pain. Help me communicate with myself and others please. If you are open to helping me in any small way, I would be blessed. I also am having trouble communicating with God as This is really testing my ability to feel God’s love and trust Him. I feel hopeless though my Faith in my Savior is strong. Please help. Sincerely, Faith.

Thank you for this. You are very helpful. I appreciate how you encourage calmness and grace and kindness. That completely changes an uncomfortable situation.