How To Stop People Pleasing 

1. Validate yourself 1:15 2. Say no 2:05 3. Take time for yourself 2:40 4. Know where you're going 3:11 5. Remove toxic people from your life 3:42 6. Stop apologizing 4:11 I hope I could help! :)

“When you say yes to others, make sure you arent saying no to yourself.” -Paulo Coehlo

"Putting your wants above someone's needs is selfish.Putting your needs above someone's wants is self-care."

“Slowly losing friends is a part of growing up. It’s ok to have less but real ones.” 🙏🏽

When she said you’re just as important as anyone else, I cried

I’ve been a people pleaser for as long as I can remember. I think part of it is from me being terrified of negative reactions/criticism and not being able to handle them well, so I end up doing what would make others happy to avoid it. I’ve tried getting better at prioritizing myself but it’s really hard…..I feel like my progress always gets reset when the slightest thing goes wrong. Plus my anxiety makes me imagine all kinds of scenarios where someone yells at me for doing something wrong….it’s a pain in the ass and I hate it.

My father had a stupid saying: "You decrease so that others can increase." It led me to do such things as bend over backwards for the wrong people.

My social anxiety causes me to worry a lot about the worst possible outcomes of saying "no" to others. It sucks because I end up being treated like a doormat 😢

I stop pleasing people by: - Having no facebook since Dec 2020 - Doing what I love, and loving what I do - I accept unfavorable circumstances

When I think about myself for 1 second over someone else, I feel selfish.

Some people are still mad at you because they failed at destroying you. They believe everything is a competition, and will try to sabotage anyone that they perceive as doing or achieving more than them. Be careful who you open up to. Not everyone has the same heart as you. Hope our channel can help you find yourself 🙏

Just words of advice: There is only one of you. Don’t change that rare personality to please someone you won’t spend a month with. And you should never have to give up anything that you need to please others! Burt Curtis out!

Toxic people almost ruined my life completely. Im happy that i got them out of my life :D

I was a people pleaser when I was younger. I forgot that I had the power all along. I just didn't show it at the time. Gradually, I started to set boundaries and said no more often. I stopped apologizing as well. I cut off all the toxic people after graduating. I decided that I had enough, and I wasn't going to continue to be taken advantage of. I set boundaries. I know when to speak up and say no. I protect my boundaries. I know how to stand up for myself to prevent resentment from building up. Don't be so nice that others start to use your good nature against you.

Yes! There is a huge difference between doing something out of generosity and sincere desire than obligation and need for approval 🙏

"learn to separate what others think about you from what you think about you" i've been a people pleaser for so long i don't even know how to think for myself. every opinion i've had, i've made, has been based off what other people think. im an empath and that makes it even worse cause i constantly change myself to fit into peoples standards. the more i know someone, the more detailed this "persona" will get. i've kinda forgotten what it feels like to be myself so much so that i don't even know if i have my own personality anymore.

People pleasing is so exhausting. Glad I can finally realize this and move on from it.

I have been a people pleaser since forever. Last year my teacher showed me a video like this one and said that I had several passive tendencies that she could help me move past. I didn’t think being a people pleaser was bad so I said that it wasn’t a problem. She asked me if I would sacrifice myself to save someone else and I said absolutely. Yesterday I lost a friend that had been taking advantage of me for 6 years and for some reason I feel like I’m in the wrong. Being a people pleaser is my addiction that I can’t get rid of and it’s killing me from the inside out.

Do you know someone who is a people pleaser? Comment below ;)

Number 5 really hit home for me. If you’re in a situation where you are surrounded by toxic or negative people, don’t be afraid to step away. Don’t listen to anything negative they say to you. Also, look after yourself. Is there something you’ve wanted to do for a while, but were too nervous or scared to do? Do it. Also, don’t think about the people trying to bring you down. Try to see the positive side in every situation. Change ‘I don’t have many friends’ to ‘I don’t need lots of friends, I just need a few really good ones’. The smallest things can make the biggest difference.

I didn’t realize being the peacemaker between my mom and sister would make me end up with this trait. Also didn’t help my parents only ever cared about me when I accomplished something.

I don’t NEED to be liked, it’s almost like I dislike people so much that I’ll do anything for them to not bother me... basically bullying myself at this point. 😖

I grew up in a Christian home where I constantly felt like I had to act a certain way to keep my parents happy with me or to make sure they still loved me or was proud of me... now I know why I struggle with people pleasing so damn much. I'm on the journey to recovery. Peace!!

“remove toxic people from your life” oh so, basically my whole family?

I’m going to stop being a people pleaser and I’ll prioritize myself more often.

for so long I've mostly said and done things that would make others happy. I always told others and myself that if they are happy, I am happy. I always tried being an uplifter for people and I never wanted to be the reason someone felt sad or any sort of inconvenience. watching this made me realize how much of myself I have put off for the sake of other's happiness. I never really cared much for myself or my well being and mostly just focused on how to make others feel good. I'm still learning and working towards improving myself and finding who I am, but I just wanted to say thank you for helping me recognize my habits. Thank you psych2go

Another tip i heard: say thank you instead of apologizing For example "thank you for listening to me" instead of "i'm sorry i spam you so much". It changes perspective!

I’ve always been a people pleaser, it’s like embedded in my brain. For me saying no makes my heart drop, it makes me feel like I’m taking away from that person, so it’s really hard to say no. I’ll try to say no and with this channel I might get through it. Pray for me guys

*Ha, um, just got told I'm a people pleaser, then this video shows up. I'm terrified.*

my people pleasing behaviour is because of child hood trauma , emotional neglect , comparing my self with others , people's criticism, and my sensitive nature 😓

I've started to slowly accept the fact there is alwasy going to be one person that dislikes you for no reason. So why bother stress over it. Its taken me a really long time to accept that but I am learning a lot as I get older.

I am a people pleaser... A friend pointed it out recently. It was absolutely serial watching this as I tick every box especially apologizing unnecessarily. I am definitely going to practice these steps and I've already started when I realised that I have a problem it has made me aware of myself. Honestly amazing.

Love the calming voice of the narrator! Removing toxic people is one of the keys to stop people pleasing - if the toxic person is not in your life, you don't have to worry about people pleasing them!

I had a great childhood, I just had a rough teenage experience due to a series of poor decisions. I've struggled with people pleasing for 15+ years. My biggest desire is to end this terrible cycle for good. I'm working towards it each day, one day at a time. 🦋

being a people pleaser is sometimes mentally exhausting. I didn't choose to be a people pleaser but I am one and the hardest thing is the people you please don't even care about you in any way. by the end of this year, we all need to stop people-pleasing asap hope yall great,thank you Psycho2Go

I definitely grew up with a caretaker who didn’t care about me unless I had an accomplishment, did well in school, etc and I was CONSTANTLY trying to make them proud. Of course nothing I did was ever enough ans now I have that people pleasing trait

I have been a people pleaser all my life. And I started realising it now. Earlier I just to believe it was ok, it was necessary to keep others first because otherwise they will not accept me. But now are started realising that it wasn't like that. I think for others, they become happy, just one mistake or just once if I want to think about myself, they start calling me selfish. I have given away my self respect, confidence, mental health, to please other who are never satisfied. No matter what you do for others, they are still gonna talk behind your back. I don't know how to say no. If someone is harming me, and I know it, I still don't wanna hurt that person the same way and continue let them hurt me. I am so tired of all this now. I have given away my life and priorities to satisfy those people who'll never become happy. Maybe because I was taught this way from childhood that prioritising yourself is selfish. And now I have become a people pleaser and now my parents wonder why I never care about myself or speak for myself😔

HELLO TIME TRAVELERS :D although it isnt neccessary to time travel, please become a member

Definitely needed this for a refresher, since sometimes I fall back on old habits 😅

I'm a huge people-pleaser and it's stronger than me. Recently, I started living with my friends and I'm so tired because I'm the only person that cleans, does laundry or cooks, I sometimes cook even for 5 people and I can't even cook well. I don't know how to stop it, sometimes I'm sooo tired and have no power to clean or do one more thing but I still do it

I have NEVER once cared for myself. I had to start caring for my dad at a very young age due to his alcoholism. And I was always the outcast from everyone and wanted to please them to like me. It never worked. Ugh.

Fun fact: most of Psych2go's viewers are introvert 👉💌👈

POV: You are seeing time travelers

Have I achieved the time travel? ALAS

There's no doubt that this channel has helped a lot of people. God bless, stay healthy!

Yo psych... I just wanna say thank you for all the help you've given me over the last year... It was the time I've gotten into my first relationship and all of your videos really helped all the way until today. Your channel is a lifesaver and it's really one of my fav channels. I know you're gonna keep it up and I'm glad :)

YES finally i have attained time travel

But I just want to keep people happy...even if it means not being happy...

I feel like I’ve improved a lot since childhood, but I still feel internally guilty/egoistic for standing up for myself.

To be honest. Ever since this lockdown there really havent been many "people" to "please" lately

For me it is simple: Just starting caring for yourself and you see how bad you are trying to please everyone. Now I only use it on occasion. I am an empath, enfj specifically. So my life goal is to get everyone to the best version of themselves. My goal in life to help people wherever possible to make this blue marble a better place. I leave my footprint behind on all souls. Even if I were to die, I will still be part of life for a lot of people. I am a way of living. I changed bullies into good people, the bullied into happy people, anxious people into confident people, sad into happy. And I’m only 16!

Good advice. I struggle with this issue so I need to try this. Thank you for the advice! 😄

I thought I stopped being a people pleaser when i was able to cut all toxic people from my life, learned to say no and stopped apologising, but since getting my first real job where I work alone and without a supervisor (i sell ice cream) I've found myself having to deal with customers who don't respect my authority when I tell them to wear a mask and personally attack me. It's come to the point where I've had panic attacks at work because I can't stand being made into a bad person. I don't know what to do, it feels like there's no way to control it and it's made me dislike my job just because I have so many regulars which means i have to serve people who have called me rude every day. I'm able to set boundaries and say no in my personal life, but at work or with strangers in general i really struggle.

this is a tough one...been this way, most of my life...self respect comes first...when people see that within you...that's when they start to respect and validate you and your opinion and decisions...so true...♡♡

I’m going to challenge myself to be less of a people pleaser and instead be more of myself. Growing up I was definitely the one always trying to keep the peace, and it was so emotionally draining. Since I got to college I’ve been trying to be more open about who I am and not what others want me to be, but it’s been hard to break the habit and be myself when I hardly know who I really am. But it’s worth all of the trying and learning once I look back and see my improvement. Videos like this r so encouraging and I love the practical help they give, thank u! ☺️

I did people pleasing when I was young, and it effected me a lot in my life. I always insist on doing stuff for people, and say sorry too much. I feel like I can’t do anything and my confidence level is very low. Don’t try people pleasing please.

This is one of the things I can't stop... like I can't at all

This was actually one of my biggest problem..I always want to please people so that they'll like me like I can't say no when someone want me to do something that I don't really want to do...Now I'm trying to do all this things and hoping this will change myself and learn to love myself💗

Every time my life becomes more fragile my go to is people pleasing and I lose myself completely. Confusion is one of the hardest to battle. The way back is hard.

Please yourself first! Always be your #1 priority.

I struggled with this for a long time, and I still am. I sometimes actually wonder if I was like majority of people who’re into all these pop culture stuff, maybe I’ll have more friends. It even got to a point where I had to just stop myself because I caught myself going above and beyond just to be liked and or fit in.

It just feels like nobody cares Like actually, nobody cares how you feel And people-pleasing is being ok with that

I remember clearly as a child saying straight up "No." To other ppl & they would always persuade me into thinking that I should be more polite or open to what they ask. The only ppl that I could never say no to was my family, it's been a long journey & 50% says no & 50% says yes. It's a long journey that the Lord has helped me w/ in the short span of 2yrs. I'm here w/ God ready to stop ppl pleasing 💟✝️

Now I realize my family and my parents are the main reason I grew into a people pleaser.

Definitely something I needed to watch as I turn a new corner in my life.

Yes. I know someone who is a pleaser. This video helps a lot! 🙏🏼

They always say self love but it is so hard to love yourself especially nowadays

Regarding self-validation: It can often be helpful, and even enlightening, to engage in self-dialogue. It's kind of awkward at first admittedly, but when you get used to essentially getting to know yourself, you can more easily pick out the things about yourself that you like. One thing my therapist possibly unintentionally taught me is that you have to be your own best friend. The sayings go "You are your own worst critic" and "You are your own worst enemy", and the saddening thing is for a lot of people, it's true. Changing your perception of yourself can lead to a noticeable impact in many areas of your life. It's pretty strange to think about.

When it said to stop apologizing i literally said "I don't think I can, im sorry". I then realized what I just did. I don't know how stop even when I'm talking to myself....

*Hello guys! Hope you all have a great day, though I dont know you, and the art style is so cute-*

5:15 "Stop seeking your worth from others and learn to live free of other people's expectations" Thank you for this reminder.

I was such a people pleaser, just like a week ago. But then I realized something. If I keep pleasing the toxic people, it won’t be worth it. So I’m planning to stop. Because from when I thought of that, I finally felt that I found my dream on Earth! I want to make it come true someday, by the power of God! 🤩 I pleased them for years. Not because I really wanted to. But the reasons are: - My big kindness - I love to help - I felt good But at the same time, I could feel those too: - Saying *NO:* Regretting if I didn’t help (For a moment) - I could feel bad too, because of the toxic people I’ve pleased (Because they don’t appreciate me enough. They were a user) *- That’s it? Can’t remember.* Example of 2 toxic people in my life: - My older sister - One of my cousins (It’s a boy) If I didn’t help my cousin just like about 1 year ago, _(He never came to visit my family again for now)_ he would say “Please” a lot. And if it didn’t work, then he would say “I will be mad at you.” *Now my sister.* (Started from 2018-2019, from as I remember, to be more of a toxic person) If I didn’t help her: - Getting angry at me - Starting to rise her voice - Saying bad words and/or hitting me *- Putting me down* *See? That’s how people manipulate and abuse us. Don’t listen to people like this! I’m begging you. My life wasn’t worth it for them. Still it isn’t.* I know my cousin didn’t change at all. Maybe more of a toxic person, now. Example: - My sister told our mother that he smokes. And then she told our mother again, to not tell our cousin’s mother - Our mother did - My cousin got mad, so he started to say bad words to my sister (Texting her) - From as my sister said, our cousin’s cousin, *(K ._.)* came to her and started fighting with her in *PUBLIC* ⚠️ *I just realized something again. My cousin isn’t my cousin. He’s my nephew. He’s more older than me, but I’m still his aunt.* *My family liked to call him, our cousin. So that’s why we call him, cousin.* ⚠️ But I thought of something. 🤔 People say “Have respect for the older one’s.” Well. I guess it’s like: - The gender and ages don’t matter - If you’re young, and your rank is higher than someone older than you, it means she or he must respect you *I think it’s this way.* Well. He (nephew) didn’t respect me at all. He just used me. *But worser is my sister...*

"Stop apologizing" my British Brain does not comprehend...

Why is this video only has 21 views even though it's been 2 days? Is my RU-vid broken?

There's nothing wrong with being a people pleaser, just do it genuinely! Sometimes, you're doing something just not because you want something from them, but bc your family, your kids can get some benefits from what you did for ppl. Again, do it genuinely. Being nice can almost get you anything you want from your enemies. Just do it genuinely

I don't really know why I seek validation from others. It's like I think that when other people are happy with me, I'll be happy. I've been forced to be the good girl since I was young (I never met my parents' expectations though) and it has been ingrained into my brain. So I started to be nice to people even at my own expense. But I'm starting to change, starting to understand that what people think of me is not me. I am what I am no matter whoever differs in opinion. I still crave for praises then and there, but I hope I can be free from basing my happiness on other people 😭

Why did this notification popped up AS I AM DOING THE THING IT SAYS NOT TO!!

Damn Pysch2go be more supportive than myself, my friends, my family! Thank u so much

Being late and not applogizing for it is wrong. Excessively applogizing after you expressed that you're running late and clearly described the unforseen circumstances to it is people pleasing. There is a fine line and one needs to practice to avoid people pleasing without being rude or unconsiderate.

I feel selfish when I think of myself first, I'm afraid of making people upset. I think I long for affection, a hug of comfort and someone by my side just to tell me I'll be okay.

"Remove toxic people from your Life" 99% of the People: Parents. 😂

I'm definitely a person who apologizes... a lot. Almost to an unhealthy degree.

My experience would probably be, I finally muster up the courage to do something for myself. A little treat like going to see a movie or go on a shopping trip. I'm ready to finally have a day for me...and then, someone asks for help and I just...cave in. And these are good people I'm talking about. Friends, family, work colleagues, who would almost certainly understand if I said no. But I just get this compulsion to put myself second. And, it hurts. It honestly sucks because I was so happy and excited for that Day Out and I cancel it because I wasn't brave enough to risk a conflict that either wouldn't happen or wouldn't have been as bad as I thought it would be. I've always been a bit of a peacekeeper. I don't like fights and I wanted people to like me or at least not be mad at me. But, identifying it is the first step towards getting better and, this vid has helped. At this point, I'd honestly rather deal with a conflict than feel like this every time I turn myself down for the sake of keeping up appearances.

Used to pride myself in being a super-friendly person not realizing I was so happy, open and willing to others because I was afraid if I didn't have this uplifting personality and say "yeah, sure ofcourse I can" to everything it would create a beef and they wouldn't like me anymore, probably tell others how awful I am. If someone stops liking you because you don't want to do something for them or have boundaries they're not a person to call company.

Lol! sorry it rained, that’s a whole different level of people pleasing

Who believes that you're going to find the right balance between pleasing others and getting pleased by others?🙏

Basically there were moments of my life when I just wanted to be useful to someone so I can stop feeling worthless. I often think that I am stupid, ugly, friendless and most importantly- a bad person. Helping others helped me to feel a little bit better, but over time I became obsessed with helping people to the point where I didn't do anything for me at all...

I’ve been in a community for 6 years, but never was good enough for the majority of it. Most people were rude and criticizing me for literally all my interests. I rejoined over 30 times to try to impress and gain their approval. I do have friends there who support me, but I barely could be relevant in convos.

hiii! could you please do a video on gender dysphoria and/or emotional dependency? ive been struggling with these issues recently and psych2go has always helped me! thank you

Sorry I can’t kick my toxic person out of my life cos she lives in my head It’s my own mind if you didn’t get it

At my former church I people pleased a lot and did a lot of "helpful" things at the expense of my energy and well being. When I finally started to say no and decline helping out cause I didn't want to do too much...they would laugh at me and say "I'll see you there"...then when I didn't show up or sign on to help they would try to get me to help, then couldn't believe I was serious then got angry! They would end with "You'll be back, just watch." But I didn't and I felt SO much better that I was doing more of what I wanted! =) (I've left that church, btw)

I have always been a people pleaser… I had to quit my job as a waiter to get sober. I’ll be one year completely sober, April 10th, 2023. Best decisions I’ve made in my adult life. I now look within myself more often for validation. Although I still struggle with anxiety, relationships and other things, I now see myself as more than capable of being a responsible adult. I don’t stretch myself too thin, much anymore. I’m moved out of my parents house now and signing up for Hospitality Management at a college close to where I live. Gratitude is for everyone, but I deserve full credit, to and from myself.

I have definitely been a people pleaser, and still can be at times. It started as a kid, partly from bullying, and partly trying to overcompensate for my volatile; violent temper. Nowadays, it's more an attempt to draw negative attention away from me, because I don't really fit in at work. I tend to fight it by refusing to do things that go against my goals, or moral standards. Great video, and keep up the wonderful work 😊

I relied on my parents because they always were right about what was wrong with me and over the years its become a real damage to my mental health. I will have to learn what makes me feel happy and decide for myself what works and what doesn't work for me.

I have been a people pleaser all of my life. It’s probably in my nature because I’m an only child and my whole life has been about satisfying my parents’s needs. I have always been hypersensitive to what other people think about how I present myself and the decisions I make. It has majorly damaged me socially. Even though a big part of me doesn’t really care, I feel very lonely. Thanks to videos like this, I can carry on my life understanding that I am not alone and I can’t satisfy everyone all the time. I know myself and no one else knows me like me.

This video is so helpful ❤️ Please do make more videos like this to help overcome other issues as well 🙏🏼 Knowing how to overcome the issues are as important as identifying the underlying issues a person has.

Thank you for this. I was just talking to a friend about this last night. Your post is such a great timing.

wow, today I was more aware that I comply with the signs of "people-pleaser" and then you come and upload this... thank you, I will try to improve. (sorry if there are mistakes, English is not my native language and I still need to learn more).

I can't remember when or why I started people pleasing, but it's slowly getting out of hand for me. Recently in group activities with odd ones out, I always volunteer to leave. I want my friends to be happy. It doesn't really matter if I leave the group as long as their happy, even if I don't like the outcome for me. It's my birthday soon and I don't want to throw a party because I feel bad for making people feel like they have to take time out their life to celebrate me. I don't matter enough for that and I'm fine with that. I've known that for a while anyway. I'm scarred of saying or doing something that will hurt someone. I carry regret for a long time, even over small things.

Sometimes i even find myself pleasing the ones i love, in therms of suggesting things i dont even want to do....