How to tell if your cat wants a friend 🐱 

The head rubbing is so cute! Thank you for this video. It is so thoughtful and in tune with what cats actually want. I also can't stress enough how important it is to think of the health of the cat! I am in the middle of a very slow introduction (9 months!). Both cats have done well in multiple cat households before, but health issues have gotten in the way. My old cat is very anxious and (unbeknownst to me) both cats had health issues. Unfortunately, I did a slow introduction when they were both unwell, and didn't guide them properly once the gate was removed....and a big fight happened. Both health problems were resolved a month ago and they are much happier individually...but my anxious cat is making incredibly slow progress towards making visual contact (some days they can see each other without hissing, but other days she will stop just before she will see him). I am exhausteddd by the whole process but willing to keep going. Is there a time limit for how long an introduction should take?

Thank you for your videos. I have two cats, a third one died a few months ago. My remaining two cats are so different - one wouldn’t need another cat-friend - though he was always friendly with the other two, he never looks for cuddles with them. He is only focused on me and would rather not share me with anybody. the other one really misses his step-sister who died and has become quite depressive and lethargic since. He always sat with her and they groomed each other and all that… He now looks for snuggles with the other one, who is just not interested and will turn away from him even if they are friendly with each other there is no tension. It’s quite heart-breaking to see though. It’s been three months and he was grieving for so long. Now very recently he seems to be getting a little more cheerful again. I never knew cats would grieve that long! So maybe I AM doing it for my cat at least as much as for myself, but tomorrow I am adopting a cat and i really hope that both resident cats will be good with this decision and get along. I have thought about this so much, and prepared the house for a week now, getting the resident cats used to closing off rooms temporarily and providing new catflaps with microchips, making a screen door and all that. There actually is a lot of preparation BEFORE the new cat comes into the house… I watched and appreciate all your „introducing cats“ tips and I agree so much. My guts always said that feeding them too close together can‘t be right. I feed my cats completely separately anyway - they seem to be much calmer that way. I‘ll be giving treats during the first meetings and am generally open to whatever arises and determined to help all three. I think I will introduce them all separately if possible and not until they show signs that they are ready. I have a feeling one will be super interested and the other one not. Cross your fingers for us please! So I‘m sorry I can’t give you a success story yet, but hopefully soon. ;-)

I have a 19 week old male who is neutered kitten who is very social and energetic. He seemed like he really wanted a playmate. So I got a 13 week old female. I slowly introduced them through safe barriers and the new kitten has a safe room. The 1st couple introductions seemed to go well, lots of friendly gentle playing. It’s the 5th day and my male 19 week old seems to be getting more aggressive with his playing. It’s hard to tell if it’s still playing and learning each other or if he’s getting aggressive and it’s going to turn into a fight. I always stay near and monitor. I will break them up and give them breaks and then a couple hours later let them play again until it seems to get too rough. It’s hard for me to know if I’m being over protective. The is no major hissing or growing or helping, but he is biting and they are getting in more aggressive wrestling matches. He probably is 2lbs heavier than her. Whenever they are together they only play and won’t let up and rest. I try distracting them with petting, interactive play with me and or treats. But they just go right back to wrestling and chasing. Should I be separating them or is this very normal play?

We brought a new cat into our home when the first cat was ~6 years old. We were rigorous about the introduction process from the start. Nonetheless, it was a disaster for a few months. However, we were very conscientious about moving the situation forward. We stuck to the videos and lots of advice on how to improve the situation. The factor that encouraged us was that we could see little signs that things were getting better, although in baby steps. We focused on these small signs and the situations that we found were not stressful, but on the contrary, pleasant for them both. I think this was a key factor , i. e., to create more situations that were comfortable for them (especially for the resident). Eventually, after about 3 months, the situation became much better when we were able to let the cats roam freely in the house without having to monitor them. They were able to be around together, but that was far from being friends. So we continued to organise pleasant activities. And after a few more months, they began not only to tolerate each other's presence, but also to play with each other. That was such a gift to us 😃. And they have had a friendly relationship for ~3 years now. So it's finally a happy story, I guess :). But we did a lot of work to make it a happy story. And as a last note, after about a year, we took another cat that was needed for emergency help on the street. And to our great surprise, it was so much easier to introduce her compared to our first experience 😁. Our first and oldest cat was not interested in her, probably, because of the latter's extreme modesty. So now all three live happily in our house. Of course, we do our best to provide enough territory and other resources. However, they choose to sleep together in the same bed. In the end of the day, I think it was a good idea to have another cat in our home (although they both were adults). Especially when we go on vacation for a few days, it seems to be a much better experience. With several visits from cat sitters, the cats do not look so stressed (as it was the case when the cat was the only one). (Sorry for my such a long record... 🙈)

It’s 2am here in nyc and all is quiet with all of us in same room and the two cats sleeping (until fluffy B starts her insanely cute snoring at which point Mr Qāt will wake and stare at her (I realizing I’m humanizing here but his expression is akin to “WTH? Stop that annoying sound. You woke me up!😾. Long story short I’ll watch this tomorrow and thanks again for the vid reply to my post. You’re too kind!

I had two young cats, and last year had to put one down. After that, my other one because a velcro cat and has been my shadow ever since. It's been a year now. I'm considering getting a second one so that she has a playmate. I'm a little apprehensive because I enjoy her being so cuddly but she can interfere with my work when she wants all my attention on her. Ie. Sitting on my desk and work projects when I'm busy. Any thoughts?