A heads up about hugs. Hugs release the binding hormone oxytocin... for women it releases after 8 seconds of hugging, but for men it takes 20 seconds to release... so hug him... hug him for at least 20 seconds. You'll both get the oxytocin release which will cause bonding.
According to her experience and knolwlrge which by her answer she has a good sound mind unlike some of the others here today, myself included mind and is young to help and guide us, so if u think u can do better, genus, I’m sure we’ll happy and surprised to hear your wise words😊 Be Out guest
1. TOUCH HIM!! OOOOH baby!!! 2. Hold his hands. 3.Loooonnngg Hug!! Tight long booobie hug!!! 4. Caress back of his head. 5. Cuddle up! 6.Let him hold you. 7. Touch is a form of communication and bonding. 8. Ask him where he likes to be touch. Ask permission first before you touch that "No No Square!" 9.Use touch as healing. 10. Treat a gentle man like a real gentleman!! Don't cross that line until he cuts that red line FIRST! Star Light I took notes!!! Thank you !!!
My guy and I are constantly touching each other, not sexually, but very gently. We're both divorced and have lived mirror lives, from teens to bad marriages. We got together after not seeing each other for 40 years!! It's like our bodies crave touch and touching each other after everything we have lived through, it's extremely comforting ❤💕💖
I have reconnected with a high school flame we have both been through a lot the life and we can’t keep our hands off each other. Makes me fell so special.
I actually love it when a guy feels free to lay his head in my lap... and allows me to stroke his hair and his temples. Whatever the status of our relationship is, I feel like this is so intimate and not something I do with every guy I'd date... it also makes me feel very motherly lol
He loves to lay his head in my lap and I scratch his head. He falls asleep in my lap everytime. I hold him while he sleeps and rub his head while we watch a movie or even football. We alternate holding each other……it’s so sensual and healing ❤️
I’m in a long distance relationship with a soldier; I agree with the hug as an expression of trust and safety as you described. I asked him to tell me how he was going to greet me when he came home, and he said with a long hug. There you go! Safety and trust!
I just love your real, open, honest wisdom. I’m in my mid sixties and wish I could of known these things forty years ago. Never too late though and with years of marriage and experience, divorced now, I am in a relationship with a man six years younger. Mat, your guidance is really helping me, especially at this stage of life and love. Thank you!
1. Use touch as an encouraging and invitation thing to him, in early stages of dating, take his hand for a second, sustainand contact f.e. with legs, touch his waist, when you walk by him 2. A tool to create safety and trust, long full body tender hug, when he comes; holding and touch his back of the head; or allow him to hold you - it will activate his strong power feeling 3. Touch for healing purpose:
Mat I appreciate the vulnerability it takes to share your gifts and talents with the world. I feel gratitude for your insight and I'm better because of it. 🙏❤
Matt thanks for giving us the meaning of touch , it’s a form of encouragement and attraction, a nonverbal physical connection to assure him he can be himself and drop his walls ,his defenses and most of all I lie to hear touch is for healing. As an occupational therapist I have warm healing hands .and why yes I can melt his heart by the subtle touching to heal his stress insecurities fears. And you don’t expect sex as the end product. Pure simple expression of LOVe. Thanks for restoring the pure meaning of touch.thats great thanks
I am a hugger…my favorite thing to do is after a hug is to slowly move my arms from his neck and allow my hand to rest on one his cheeks to a moment with a look in his eyes and a smile! I usually get pulled back in for another embrace 💕
Omg I’m so glad to have come across your videos. I’m a woman who loves physical touch. I naturally touch others and have had to learn that sometimes it can communicate something I’m not trying to to communicate. But that said when I’m getting to know a guy I like, it’s easy for me to touch him. What you said about being his peace, comfort and sanctuary resonates with me. I was with a new guy and he asked me to hold him. I held him for what felt like forever rubbing the back of his head and neck. I absolutely loved it! I’m sure he did too. I have also messed up by assuming all guys like a certain type of touch and definitely will take your advice to ask first. I’ve found this so helpful thinking of touch as it’s own language. My husband of 18 years passed so I want to be the best partner I can be for my next. Thank you.
Mat. I have previously watched your video on RASE in which you spoke to touch as a love language and the lameness of some physical interactions like the side hug. Well, when it came time to give the all important goodbye hug during a life transition moment a few weeks ago I went all in and gave my guy interest a super full body tight lasting hug - we made it through the location move and are continuing our relationship with an adjusted path forward. So I give you credit for helping me to achieve a deeper emotional connection through touch with my dear friend and perhaps someday something more man. Now I am all in learning to express my feelings and emotions through touch. Thank you. You are a Rock Star!
Im dating this guy and he had a rough week coz one of his pets died, and he was lying in bed on his stomach next to me, and i started touching the back of his head while we were talking, after a few mins he told me "I feel so relaxed, im falling asleep". I also caress the back of his head from time to time when he's driving. Touch is really a powerful thing, Knowing where to touch your man to make him feel re-assured and secured would be really helpful in the long run
Thank you this helped my best friend has had a lot of physical trauma in his life. Plus he is a widower so there is a lot of walls put up. Over time I’ve been able to get some of the barriers down but it is baby steps. I do get an occasionally hug from him.
@@tressielassabe5779 Thanks! People are usually telling me how wrong I am...I was just thinking about it...picture a busy city street. A woman, not dressed up or trying to attract attention, on her way to work or running errands. Men will catcall, invade her space, gawk, glare, even if it is a no make-up and glasses day. Where are the good men then? They are very discerning, and only meet you by Divine Intervention or some fluke accident. The loud men, the wrong guys are EVERYWHERE...men don't understand this; there is not a moments peace from them! Even in this pandemic, they find their way through the woodwork by scams on social media and invade your home when you are minding your own business! Now, these relationship gurus like Matt, it's all well and good to say that you will meet one, or they can say [I always love this line], that you were not prepared and your intention was not right to receive them, along with any other kind of luck n the Universe. Look, I'm 57...I've basically been primed to receive this love since birth...where is he? I hate dated hundreds of the bad guys, married a few...because THEY ARE THE ONLY THING ON THE MENU!! And loading one mistake after the other doesn't solve the problem for a good man and love. Then I get blamed...why are you attracting this, you were not ready to receive this. Look, if I am minding my own business, living in whatever country, whatever environment, the loud, bad men will always be rising on the top, because they don't fear rejection their mantra is manipulation, because if they don't get what they want from you, they will go to the next. I met my great love..he has pulled away, and I am heartbroken...but for that, all these gurus say 'oh, he wasn't the right one, move on, it is so easy, next'. Well, you know what? It isn't. Tears well in my eyes right now, because they don't get what we go through, because they are discerning, and losing someone who may be flawed but you love them, hurts...life is not a conveyor belt! But it feels like it sometime...
@@lisawentworth6831 i completely understand and agree with you. I'm currently separated and he still lives in the house, he moved into the spare room 😪. I feel the same way, he may have flaws but I deeply love him and I'm sure looking from the outside everyone would wonder why I'm so upset to lose him. According to what he tells me he wants to be able to explore and there's not much that I can do to get him back/keep our marriage. 14 years and I feel like I'm losing my best friend 😭💔.
Oh my goodness I hugged my boyfriend after a theater rehearsal where we got to hang out a bunch and he was literally dancing as he walked away. It wasn't even a long hug, it was a quick, 3 second, full hug. He had the biggest grin on his face as he walked away. It was adorable and I now realize why this had an effect on him. I'll definitely try to incorporate more touch into our relationship. Knees touching while sitting near each other, hand holding, stuff like that. 😁
My twin flame keeps coming back to me ...for over 40 yrs ..we never lost touch even through our lives not married to each other ...but we recently got together again and never missed a beat
I found it hard and still do sometimes to comfort someone that just poured out their hearts, or venting and needs that comfort. It's so awkward and uncomfortable for me I just sit there like what now. Looking back now I was never hugged as a child. I grew up with corporal punishment but was never showed affection. it's so complex being a human 🤦🏾♀️
Just finding your material. Former attorney myself. You offer realistic, practical advice that's much more tangible for a woman dealing with a man. Masculine and feminine energy has become so clouded but the distinction is key how to treat each other, shaping the relationship. Perhaps you can suggest what to do in situations where there's mutual attraction, you know for certain he likes you but afraid to approach out of shyness and uncertainty. How is it you feel a strong vonnection to someone you haven't even talked too? Definition of that.
I really love this video. You do such a great job at articulating your words, points and engaging your viewer with solid eye contact. It is such a blessing to know as a woman, there are men out there that have those same values and have the potential to be willing to receive physical intimacy and touch as coming from a sacred place. It can be a woman's primary love language too, a gift that comes from God. You are such a beautiful soul Mat! Keep encouraging healthy love with the world! ❤️
I was sexually abused as a child, my ex partner and I didn't touch,and I just didn't know how to connect emotionally, we split after 18..I just felt we out grew each other. He actually did want too be touched, I have slowly understood to more emotional and what guys need.. then being a ice queen.
Yes,Mat, "touch" is key to letting your partner know how you feel about him. Give him the softening tool for becoming comfortable with you. Let him just surrender to your actions. Let him know that touch is so important in communicating with you.
Wow 😲 what a charismatic,vivacious and educated speaker you are!! Humor with knowledge and human behavior added in ...plus your presentations are very educational and amazing...thank you for all.
We take turn massaging each other’s aches and pains. We’re in our mid 60’s 🥸so lots to work with. Nothing like a good neck rub or leg rub to get the juices flowing. So happy to find a man that likes to give as much as he receives. Blissful
@@jennifermartinez-uw2wh Yeah he seeing your worth the way you see your worth needs to match up. We must not settle for less. Or we shouldnt give away too unless ensure men understand our worth
I date men that are about 15 years younger then me, I’m 36, and one thing they enjoy is when they get to cuddle up in my arms, rest their head on my chest and I caress their hair and neck. It creates such a safe feeling and I feel that many of the boys really miss that, and often time miss out because they are supposed to be the big spoon and the protector. I love that I can give them a feeling of being protected and just receive my tender care.
Your videos always blow my mind. I learn so much, you are like a professor!! This really should be a college course on emotional and relational communication!!!
This is all so fun and true! On my first date with my fiance, we were at a baseball game and I remember our shoulders touching most of the game and neither of us pulled away and that was really special for me. And when you said that you guarantee he's thinking of it, that made me smile 🥰
I watched your videos daily when i was single, and oh boi, did they come in handy recently! I have the best, most nurturing relationship ever. You are the best! ❤
This is great advice. My bf always says he loves how direct I am and it makes him know that I’m not a game player. He loves that I ask what he wants and tell him directly what I want. He finds the confidence hot.
Aw. Thank u for this Matt. Your content and videos are really amazing. I alwys watch you and Myles Munroe. You guyz are my relationship mentors. I just got married and learning how to cope with my partner in life. Thank for this! Really enjoyed watching your topics.
I love this. So much great advice.. I've been seeing one guy for a few weeks and talking for a little over a month. We have seen each other 3 times but he hasn't tried to kiss me. He texts me every morning and night and sends me coffee to my job often. He went all out for Valentines day and has been a perfect gentleman. I was starting to wonder if he is unsure if he likes me or not lol just because he hasn't tried going for a kiss. After watching this video it makes me think maybe he is really just trying to take his time with me..
Breezy, we men tend to take longer to introspectively look at ourselves in relationships. If we have been in bad relationships in the past. We are always second guessing our feelings. Men aren't used to being complemented or being touched. In these days with #metoo and #believeallwomen. Men have become apprehensive on becoming physical or approaching women. This initial kiss may have to come from you. I would suggest maybe a kiss in a public place where he might feel more at ease with this type of physical contact. I know I am terrified of life altering false accusations. He maybe also. Give him time or you might ask him why he hasn't kissed you. Believe me he has thought about it, but maybe hasn't gotten the signs that you would like to be kissed. Nothing worse than going in for the kiss and you get the quick head turn. Awkward !! Good Luck
You are very right mett. I'm going through this right now from him. because I just allowed him to started touching me, and he can't get over it he messages me time to time saying he has been thinking about me every time 😄❣
I did that whith my son has a baby not knowing it can take stress a way i tell my family i love them and hug them i read year's a go good fore the brain,
Your tips are so helpful. I’m finally dating again after my previous partner passing away so I’ve been binging quite a few videos. Everything feels so new again and tho I’m enjoying this new chapter and relationship and I never want to feel like I’m just doing the things my previous partner liked. It’s different being with someone after your partner passes away.. it’s the feeling of a new you that second guesses your actions or makes you feel like you can’t share certain parts of yourself or your life if that makes sense? So getting into this new relationship that I’m very happy in, it’s been a beautiful journey taking things slow, however it’s like I forgot how to be emotionally physically in a relationship. Like I know what to do but I find myself questioning if I should or if that’s the right thing to do? I was super nurturing before and I still am lol I just I get nervous that maybe he won’t like it or maybe I’m just doing that cause my late partner did.. I want to make sure I’m doing the right things I guess.. as silly as it sounds… your videos have given my a lot of courage and strength to open my heart and allow love in.
Hello to whom it may concern I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back and I believe he can also help you to attract back your lover and solve your relationship problems 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I like your tips! “ safe container” ...mmm what’s a better word for this? safe person to go to to relax and be himself and feel totally loved and embraced? Or other? 😀🤓
I've kissed 💋someone as both of us were in a yoga assana when we were in my living room. That expression of it and practicing breathwork, is intense. With the underlying boundaries that it stays as a practice- that creates heat!!🧘♀️✨️🧘♂️
Okay Matt...typical guy my husband was with bipolar one and anger management issues who refused to take medication for it. 30yrs together(died 4yrs ago.)I did what you said and touched him ever so slightly as if my hand was a feather upper body evertwhere front and back to relax him and he loved it and would fall🥱😴asleep. 💤 Thank you for your confirmation because he never knew it before.😌😌😌
Awwwwww i must watch this Mat! Where have you been all this time in my life! I wanna spice things up bcox my guy is pretty a shy one,but he will do everything i " ask " for ;) i want to pamper him
Omg yes 👍🏻 my Ex used to hop into the lazy hot chair like a walrus on his favorite rock! I’m quit small & used to try to climb in the chair to snuggle him but, he would complain
My marriage ended after 18 yrs no connection no touching and now with my new guy this has been the golden rule since day 1. I wished I knew this before
Thank you for creating this video. I have been struggling to establish that connection with my boyfriend. I will put into practice your recommendations.
You're welcome! I'm glad to hear that you found the video helpful. It's great that you're willing to put the recommendations into practice. I hope they bring you closer to establishing a stronger connection with your boyfriend.🙏❤
Hi Matt most of the time when he is tired or in a bad mood I try to help him but he doesn’t want to explain n we end up in conflict n I get confused between talking or just give him space after watching ur video how to help his bad mood I will try ur tip Thank u soo much for all ur videos 😉
Yes -- touch can be "touchy"! 😀 A good way to touch a man to give encouragement is a quick, soft touch on his arm - like when you're emphasizing a point ("Oh, that was so funny!" - then, quick touch) It's okay to ask or to express what you're feeling - "I'd like to give you a hug - is that okay?" You never know what might be a trigger. Ask. The worst they can say is, "No". Be respectful. And, in terms of "exploring" -- I like to frame it in terms of "we're just practicing", so that there's no pressure to "perform". ("Do you like *this*?" "YES!" "Do you like this?" "Meh." etc.) Touching in the form of massage can be very sensual, but it doesn't have to lead to sex! A man giving me a foot wash and foot massage is extremely sensual -- but also I appreciate it on a deeper level -- "acts of service". After a long day at work, it's such a welcome treat! So many ways of communicating affection and respect for one another!
That's true, I'm always so surprised when super great guys like you are single, but total losers have someone. Can you explain that? Is it just that good guys are more picky, and losers will say 'hey babe' to anything that passes by?
@@sansadrake4133 I know, right! I have used this story before, but for decades I can remember going to the grocery store on a Sat night alone to get my lean cuisine and popcorn...no date. I would see couples, and often big, mean, scary women, dragging around nice guys by the short and curlies! I would always thinkmgee, I would be much nicer, yet here I an alone! Both genders tend to be louder and controlling, but it works for then as they get someone, and nice people sit home alone!
@@lisawentworth6831 😂 true. Personally i choose to stay single rather than get with the next random low value man..my standards are pretty high. Overall i think a lot of people are scared of being alone and shack up with anyone lol.
Thank u for this advice. This is important, don't like a man to be all over me, it turns me off. I like him to touch the back of my arm and have him brush his body gently against mine if I even allow that.
