How To Train Your Emotions | Mel Robbins

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Here is the one takeaway you need to get from this video:
It is NORMAL to have emotions rise up and cause you to feel angry, sad, disappointed, or disempowered...and it is a CHOICE to let these emotions lead to snapping, ruining a relationship, or being a jerk.
For real.
During a Q&A at Audible HQ I got a question about managing emotions. As someone who has spent the past two decades learning how to bypass my initial reactions in order to treat the people I respect and love with care, I promise you can change, too. What's one thing anyone can start doing today that will diffuse some of the negative reactions of anger?
Learn to label your emotions before letting them take over.
When you start to feel anger understand that this emotional rush is actually causing you to warp how a situation truly is. Instead of jumping to a conclusion and reacting...PAUSE. 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1, mentally acknowledge that anger exists, but do not say "I am angry". Rather, say "I am noticing that I'm getting angry right now." This is essential data. Now you can start to understand your triggers and prepare yourself for how they will or will not affect you moving forward.
You can always make things worse, and that's good news, because you can make them better, too.
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Опубликовано:

20 май 2018

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Комментарии : 83

@bns3543 6 лет назад

It's "NORMAL" to have these emotions, but It's "CHOICE" that we need to exercise, Thanks Mel for emphasizing on these words😊

@Warcry66124 6 лет назад

5 second rule helps me to stop overthinking. Its really useful. Give it a try

@Crismsu11 6 лет назад

Yes! I’ve been working on this. I used to dwell on it when people hurt me. Then I realized that throwing myself pity parties especially over things that don’t matter is a waste of time. I would rather use that energy on something that matters. Life is too short. ❤️

@melrobbins 6 лет назад

Well said!! xo

@piggy4093 6 лет назад

Thank you, when I get pissed off I cry from being so much angry 😊 and people thing that I am a weak person but it just all the emotion come up at the same time so 54321 and pull myself together😊😊😊

@jamesfreeman1286 6 лет назад

My biggest trigger is sudden, unexpected rage outbursts from my wife. This leads to a vicious cycle of fighting. No matter how much I try to stop it, it APPEARS to me that she is getting something out of keeping it going. Since we both have long standing covert passive aggressive undercurrents spanning 40 years and 3 marriages (to each other), the result is fighting beyond the imagination. She refuses any kind of referee, including a therapist. FIGHT TO BE RIGHT. Very Tragic.

@zzz36999 6 лет назад

Hey, James! I read your comment & had this thought- it might be because of how you were rised up- if your parents were constantly fighting, fhen subconsciously you are attracted to fighting (it's very comforting to your subconscious mind).

@cococomments 6 лет назад

I needed this today. The generational gap, with gender, racial and other issues is huge in my family. I know the people around me are good humans, they just have entrenched views thanks to their upbringing and I cannot help but bite when they say things I do not agree with. Sometimes I just need to walk away!

@melrobbins 6 лет назад

5-4-3-2-1 - walk away!! xo

@ntiago5245 6 лет назад

One week since i started read you book and you already started to help to change. Thank you alot!

@kathyeulert8104 3 года назад

I use your 5 second rule all the time and it works great .great asvice Mel.

@corithefrugalflower 3 года назад

This is single handedly the most valuable 3 min video I've ever watched! Thankyou and big hugs 🤗 to you Mel, your the #1 motivational speaker i watch on here!!💗

@scarlettgirl 6 лет назад

This couldn't have come at a better time for me, honestly. A toxic family member was invited back into my family, not by me though, and I'm having a really hard time processing it.

@mushinart 4 года назад

Im grateful for you for making this video ,mel

@AstroTheBakaShonen 6 лет назад

Mel Robbins, my internet mom :D

@miriamelisapreciadoconde8233 6 лет назад

Thank you so much Mel!! You have no idea how much your 5 sec. rule has helped me control my thoughts about how much bothers me my husband's ex wife... counting backwards has helped me change my mind of the negative thoughts. Thank you!!!! xoxox!

@anordinarymom 6 лет назад

Needed to hear this today!

@davidguerrero9270 6 лет назад

Thanks Mel as always, good information at the right time!

@evelynmwangi8624 3 года назад

Their is so much power that comes from being able to control your emotions.

@carinatiotuico6453 4 года назад

This is such a good motivation dear Mel We always respect your advices and indeed you are not just the best motivational speaker, but also a Doctor of souls. We love you we adore you and please start on the future a new show again You are simply the best and thank you to let me hugging you and kiss you. Mel you are the melody of the heart and the voice of the spirit

@ethical_sarah Год назад

This is helpful. Thanks for sharing Mel! 🙏🏼

@randomtrucks 5 лет назад

I'm love the "it's Normal to have emotions rise up" part because all my life I've been taught how weak I am for how deeply I feel and how much I cry. I've learned this: forcing yourself not to cry - just like forcing yourself to be positive - will never work. Ever. And if it does, it's gonna backfire very quickly. You gotta accept that this is what you're feeling. The moment I accepted that it's ok to cry often, it actually got less. But I had to whole heartedly forgive myself before I could move on.

@mso008 6 лет назад

Thank you for sharing your wisdom

@ruthmacclure609 5 лет назад

From New Zealand - thanks Mel, good notes to make, this type of good information is such an awareness, like a self awareness rude of awakening - the 5-4-3-2-1 so works for me, I mentioned it in my Weight Watchers meeting and the following week so many of the ladies said they used the 5-second rule all week long, it was amazing. It is amazing and I will be more aware when I'm pissed off, all this learning from Mel has changed me to like myself a hell of a lot better, about time too!

@catalinamartinez3079 6 лет назад

Hello from CHILE!!! Thank you Mel!!!

@jrizle86 6 лет назад

Mel tells it how it is . So inspirational, love your videos , thanks for these 😁

@christinefowler8386 6 лет назад

Thank you Mel. The 54321 rule works so well in so many situations, use it all the time x x

@realitymethod3921 6 лет назад

Love this video Mel.

@hristinavaseva2632 6 лет назад

At this moment I need this video! 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

@laurieparis2203 5 лет назад

Great way to implement the "don't react, do respond" philosophy. 5 seconds can make all the difference.

@kimberlycopple609 6 лет назад

Perfect Thank you for this reminder! HUGS!!

@melrobbins 6 лет назад

Hugs back to you!

@vat_1989 3 года назад

Thank you for this

@shinea.5702 6 лет назад

Thank you Mel!! Added to favorites. 💖

@RachelFayLovelyDay 6 лет назад

Brilliant!

@BoazsCrown222 6 лет назад

THANK YOU!!!

@jeanchristie 6 лет назад

Thank you will try this

@DeleceFordStorytelling4u2 6 лет назад

I can relate to this very well.

@lovereignssupreme 6 лет назад

54321 - don't be an a**hole. Got it!

@lisajane4330 6 лет назад

Have to try this thanks

@huyenhoang592 3 года назад

Awesome. I’m master at using 5 second rule 🌹

@btissamdrihmi9650 6 лет назад

Hello from Morocco thank you .

@marionannmacredie 6 лет назад

Needed this today 🧠❤️ added

@maimohamed3590 6 лет назад

I just listening to you👏💓

@pelin33572 6 лет назад

thank you, you are the best

@FeelGoodWithin 6 лет назад

We suffer when we try to control things so better to let of control issues!!!

@janetspiteri5043 6 лет назад

Mel Robbins thank you for being so honest I've been dealing with so called professional psychologists around a particular situation and they are so fake they make me feel like I'm losing my mind. Please help am I going crazy?! Isn't it normal for kids to hate going to school and to resist doing homework??? Please help. 😔

@bhavyakhanna8152 3 года назад

Thankyou Ma'am

@luisalemos9411 4 года назад

I love you Mel

@FishGuts92 6 лет назад

Thanks for the advice. I try not to be an asshole but my emotions get the better of me sometimes. Ill definetly try this out :)

@bekkyn80 5 лет назад

Hi Mel, i am trying to do this now over an elderly relative that just wont listen to me or her son and shes trying to be so controlling with things as he's been too ill to work to find another place to stay at moment, best wishes 🌸

@nataliabrondani1948 5 лет назад

You could sell bracelets with the 5s rule, Mel. because I never remember to use this in the challenging moments , hehe :’(

@sherylmorrison8713 5 лет назад

Good idea...Im going to make myself one...

@tshtshalabade2498 6 лет назад

Love you ❤❤❤❤❤❤

@lifeistobelived9866 6 лет назад

BC 500. The great teacher Buddha said it. The world is full of Suffering But it is a choice. Its upto you to get reacted to the offence. Self Awareness is a key. 2500 years gone. But still his teachings come to defend ourselves.

@girlslove3267 5 лет назад

I have emotional personality disorder and find it hard to control my emotions but it's not anger it's usually being upset and hurt

@SpaceCatSupreme 6 лет назад

WOW!

@lizdelator4939 6 лет назад

True

@mehnaz3182 3 года назад

What do I do when I'm on the receiving end of a loved one snapping at me?

@Browblushpmu_bydimple 3 года назад

How to ignore negative people or their behaviour with whom we are leaving

@counsela9240 3 года назад

Nice

@KadaXuanwu 4 года назад

How should i use the 5 seconds rule when someone tells me something that is sraight up wrong, and i'm getting mad on that? Just don't respond for 5 seconds :D?

@ruthmacclure609 5 лет назад

From New Zealand

@abhayghuge2849 4 года назад

Hey Mell how to counter ego depletion

@roshaniroy9516 6 лет назад

Today i was not good with my loved ones

@fionaedwards4262 6 лет назад

What about spontaneous tears? I have a lot of trouble with this

@deboraforgione8651 6 лет назад

I tried that but counting from 5 backwards is easy. It doesnt distract my brain... I dont have to think about what number comes after 5 etc.

@jennymaus6749 6 лет назад

I have a really important question. How to remember the 5 Sekunden rule when I need it? I realized that it work but often I forget to use it and when the Situation is over I remember "you could handle this with the 5 second rule" (sorry for the Bad english... Im from German -still learning)

@ulrikschackmeyer848 4 года назад

You practice using it for all sorts of 'common, but not REALLY dagerous things'. I know it sounds silly, but I learned it when I'm walking or in trafic. By SIMPLY SAYING saying: Do I want to go left or right? 5-4-3-2-1. Check. Then I get it i to my system, BEFORE I REALLY need it. And then I use it for situations that are just a LITTLE harder. And get used to that. And then things that are a little harder. And so on. IF you only train it when you are stressed out and already out of control, you will probably never get enough exercise to make it stick. Train on less dagerous things, before you need for Really dagerous things.

@danicap5637 5 лет назад

👍

@awakeningblacksheep9610 3 года назад

Is there something in the Robbins name that gives people motivational powers ? Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, Baskin Robbins 😀😀

@timothygreatrick5189 2 года назад

I love my nan new years day but finding to greave and show my emotions charlie

@DiegoCamiloAyalaCace 3 года назад

I used the 5 second rules to active my prefrontal cortex to suppress my gay tendency...someday i will be a full straight man...i simply need to keep at it :P

@Bahir4470 3 года назад

Hey Mel Robbins , do you have a direct email on cantact one can get through to you ? Kindly help!

@Bahir4470 3 года назад

*contact ...

@katniss181 5 лет назад

Is she talking about me?😳 I’m constantly on high nerves and I’m tired of it

@mariamkinen8036 3 года назад

These channels poke a finger at others. Maintain instability . I'm healed; therefore, I'm off n out. I can think for my own good.

@dakine4238 4 года назад

What about sadness from a shitty family?

@minnesota7010 5 лет назад

Kill them? What. At 1.35 in the video.

@Simon-je7ko 4 года назад

Even your wife 😂🤣😅😜😇. Even after so many years together. I prefer to go on a walk. I use what Mel says in the trafic. I let the morons go. I am very calm. If you get an accident do not rely on me.