But if there were issues with the marriage.. how is it normal that they went straight to cheating instead of trying to work on the marriage first?..so they cheat and we, the betrayed, need to work on ourselves and improve communication with the cheater.. what do they have to do? Why couldn’t they want to communicate the issues first? The betrayed has to do all the work..
If you solidly believe what you say there will be no hope for your marriage because you have chosen a postion from which there can be no hope of survival of the marriage. That is just the reality (99% of the time) and that's your choice. Based on what I discovered I know that far too many choose that route and although I do not condemn them for it if there are children then its far better, all around, for a wife to accept her husband's betrayal as an error, even if he is not contrite, and revamp her marriage. We don't deal with hypotheticals. If your marriage is floundering then we have a solution for you to not only save, but regenerate your marriage and we can help you. As to you saying that I say the betrayed has to do all the work, well I can assure you that your husband thinks he was the one betrayed "first". The truth is we are not taught what we need for marriage so that is the past. Let's work from this moment. Let's choose the shortest way to happiness.
@@TheMarriageFoundation I understand what you say and I know you are right. I’m 4 week from finding out of a year long physical affair with a co worker. He said that was because he was neglected as I focused on our young children too much, one is autistic, and I had a time when I talked to him. So if he felt “betrayed” before, why didn’t he have this compassion that you are talking about to communicate the issues and work with me, instead of cheating.. It hurts that now I have to be compassionate and understanding when he wasn’t the same with me when he felt “betrayed”
It is always a choice and now that you are in this mess you can give up or heal the marriage (with our help). Your children would vote to heal the marriage.
Thank you dr. Friedman for your advice. I hope every couple going through difficulties in their marriage get your wisdom in following your instructions and save their marriages. God bless you😇🙋🏻♀️
