How to write descriptively - Nalo Hopkinson 

"And tomorrow i will start writing" me every single day

me: binge watching reading writing tips than actually writing

"Billy has five fingers for each hand, making them a total of ten fingers." This is the peak of writing.

billie's palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy...

The level of detail in this animation was astounding...

i feel that the only time such extreme detail is needed is when the character themselves are actually taking in the details themselves. if things are happening quickly, like someone running from a creature, it shouldnt be too detailed and should instead match the speed that theyre running. but if a character is suddenly realising that theyre in love with their best friend and cant help but admire how their hair flows in the wind and the slight sparkle in their eye that only comes out when the weathers nice, then a long detailed moment makes sense because the character is noticing all these things themselves and has the time to linger mentally on those details

Remember, amazing writers! Don't be too descriptive as the readers might get distracted from the plot/story and some might have to reread the paragraph over and over again because the words are too deep/hard to understand. It is important to first determine the themw of what you're writing. Is the story light? Choose words that feel free and light. Example: A light story The breeze meandered against her porcelein skin, sending cold yet sweet chills down to her spine. Her golden hair danced gracefully as she yelled, "I'm the king of the world!" with her arms up high and her ocean eyes gleaming. Even if words are well, just words, they still have the power to activate the reader's five senses; smell, touch, sight, hearing, taste.

"suddenly they're on a beach about to fall in love" umm no, they're on google trying to figure out what color is stewed-cherry lmao

the important thing is letting your readers reach the conclusions. subtlety is key. when a reader comes to their own interpretations, they make more neural connections and have a better time.

Billie needs to take an anti-acid pill. She was sick this whole video. :(

Writers don't write to impress, They try to express.

This is why i love being a writer and why i love to write stories, while writing a story, creating a fictional world, you yourseld dive into that world, and you feel that you have to make the audience experience the wonderful world you have created, atleast that's what i feel.

The more I learn about writing and storytelling, the more I realize that storytelling is not actually telling a story, but creating a half-finished mural and giving the reader the paint they need to finish it themselves. With just enough direction that the reader doesn't get lost. Didn't realize this applied to descriptions as well, that's awesome. "Meeting the writer halfway" Summary: Strong descriptors of all the senses + movement, then use strange connotations to carry them to the reader.

Wrong! You need a Pegasus feather quill pen, dipped in the blood of fairies and you must write upon the robes of the gods themselves.

The noodle description of billie was too complicated. That was no way supposed to mean that she was nauseous. Being descriptive doesn't mean being complicated. Writers , please remember to be lucid as well.

The thing about this is you have to have a mix of loads of description and simple language. Sometimes, just being straight forward is better than being too flowery. If you really want to develop your writing, read good literature. I was trapped in a wattpad reading spree and realized my writing wasn't improving then I realized yeah cause I'm reading bad writing. Then, I got back to reading series and novels and took note of how they wrote. Plus, have friends read your work for feedback too. If you can join writing groups, do it.

I felt like the sentence that said Billie felt nauseated and weak could be a lead in to the first example.

Her legs were noodles. She began to question her half culinary existence when she realized her hair was poison needles. Her focus quickly turned to figuring out how to best avoid death by her body's own terrible design. "I look like an 5 year old's interpretation of Medusa." the words brushed across her bristle-sponge tongue. _I'd cry if my eyes weren't bags of bleach_ her existential crisis seeming equally comical and tragic in its absurdity. P.S. Funny coming back here years later because youtube recommendation's still being worried about my ability to write, only to find people taking my joke seriously. I think they've confused me with someone who wants their opinion - or maybe it was meant for you; enjoy being showered with wisdom, and remember that millions of years of evolution lead up to this point.

I had no idea what they were trying to say about Billie because they were using absolutely random language. There's no way to know that was supposed to mean she felt nauseous lol

Is it just me or the initial Billie description was too complex-ish. As in it was not hard to understand but the wording didn’t flow

I avoid clichés like the plague.

Honestly, I started to roll my eyes at poisoned tip hair and bags of bleach. You can go a bit over the top with description and metaphors.

I love how in stories, it is required of writers to engage the reader's sensory faculties, otherwise you risk boring or losing the reader's time-earned attention. However, the writer must take special care to use the right syntax in accordance with the type of genre the writer is writing in.

The “good” description about Billie was terrible.

I really am trying to be a good writer. The descriptive writing always messes me up and no matter how descriptive I think I make it, it still feels too rushed. My teacher doesnt help. Rather than giving constructive criticism he makes me feel as if I am never gonna get better and that I should stop trying..

Mark Twain: “When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart. If it is good enough etc etc I prefer the weak and nauseous version.

!!! I finally understand why I was unable add metaphors to my creative writing piece! I can't force it in, and instead should focus on establishing an image, a setting that the reader can immerse themselves into, and make it easier for them to do so by connecting my ideas with objects they already know! Thank you so much for this video!!!

Stephen King is one of the best writers, when I was reading it I arched my back so Penneywise would not catch my back, I was that "absorbed", thats how good Stephen King is.

I actually prefer the "Billie felt sick" over the "she feels like noodles and poison needles". I dunno it just feels extremely forced and unimaginative.

""The dark neighborhood shimmered in silence as the moon shone above. Hardly a soul's whisper was heard, and yet the city that housed it lived on. Within the alleys of that neighborhood was a young woman, brittle as a leaf, delicate as a feather. In front of her towered a man, with the harsh look of a predator, as if his eyes could glow a hue of red, and it'd still fit his persona."" Need opinions on this small bit here :D

me, a wattpad writer trying to improve my book : *write that down, write that down-*

I actually felt immersed in this video. Because the sound, the animation, and the voice of the character were all perfect and outstanding

Excellent video, but many in the comments are expressing an important, moderating sentiment: this isn't the _only_ path to effective fiction, and it can be destructive if overused. I remember being fourteen and trying to jam as many elegant, sensory adjectives describing place and character into my writing as possible. Consider the effect this has, of drawing attention to the motives (Desperation? Self-congratulation?) of the writer, and away from the content. There's a balance to be struck between clarity and simplicity, and impactful form. Consider the kind of effect you want to produce with your work, and find a form that enhances its content. Writing that appeals to the senses is generally a good bet, but there are others. Think of Arthur C. Clarke; his books provoke powerful _feelings_ through realism and challenging concepts, whilst giving little quarter to sensory events. There's also no substitute for interesting content. Without that, you're simply wasting the reader's time.

Her voice is Heaven-sponsored and ocean-fluid.

I've had the pleasure of being pulled into the amazing world of novels. Recently have started to write my own novel. Thanks for the help. And I hope the best for the others before and after me!

Wow, that was beautiful, I loved the colours, and the descriptive words were just fabulous. Ive learned a lot about writing barometer just watching this video.

I like poetic descriptions but only within reason, when overdone it makes for a overcooked confusing story and can even drag the story more than it needs to, making it feel slower. I also understand that the modern world is full of idiots who like face-paced stories so the former would not fly by most readers of the 21st century.

0:42 I had no idea what the fuck that was trying to convey. Mix some similes in there or use something at least half descriptive. Now that I know she was meant to be sick I can see what was meant, but without context that made little sense. "Billie's legs struggled against her crippling fatigue, her ruffled hair ending in knotted points, her tongue dry and cracked and her eyes sitting on heavy bags strongly emphasised her worrying ailment." That was half-assed and it was still better. Forgive me for that, I just got frustrated by it being their example of "descriptive" writing.

The stewed-cherry dress idea is phenomenal. Maybe it’s obvious to some people, but the idea that a writer should be juuuuust vague enough to make you wonder specifically what they mean is revolutionary to me. My writing tends to sway between overly detailed description and overly vague simile and commentary from the narrator or characters. Thank you miss Hopkinson!

“Set the reader’s brush fire imagination alight”. For a visual person such as myself this video truly embodies its message and paints the exact picture I needed to recreate my thoughts. Although this long sentence is not an example of what I learned.

0:56 Yes, I did get queasy. Mostly because of the way IT WAS WRITTEN IN PRESENT TENSE.

Strange, I view the examples, like the dress in the opposite way as the video described. When you say it's a stewed cherry dress, it really narrows it down. Where as had you said it was red, it's then up to me and my imagination to figure out what that dress looks like. All the examples they used, I preferred the simple and to the point ones. The more wordy ones, feel like you're wasting time, and trying to pad you book with pointless details because you don't have much of a story to tell.

This was fantastic. I stopped halfway through to rewrite the intro to a new story. Really catalyzed my understanding. Thanks.

that meticulous animation and deft for details is splendid

Okey, I was googling "oomes" in the thumbnail for 3 minutes til I figured it out it is "comes".

This woman has a lovely voice

What a beautiful video, that's very much why I love Fiction and it's very fascinating to see how it's made, I'm saving this video in my playlist to watch it again & again.

WOW...!! This video gifts me the skills of aesthetic writing and I adore it and oftentimes I do use literary techniques such as metaphor and sound devices.

'......stewed cherry dress. Boiled without sugar, colours apparently unsure about leaving. Stuart was to discover, too late, that she could also burn lettuce.'

Instruction unclear, burned my hand on the stove.

This is sooooo good! I love the animation and I felt like the writing tips were spot-on. I like how you used specific examples. I'm glad I found this video! 😄

Thank you so much for producing this video, really appreciate your hard work, this helped me so much.

For me it was the opposite lol, if they said she was nauseated, then she was nauseated lol, as for the metaphors about her legs being noodles, and hair being poison needles, that was all unnecessary for me, I guess different people have different perceptions.

No, I much preferred "Billie's legs are nauseated and weak" instead of the twenty-five words of the first sentence to describe something that could've been described in six.

I have been getting back to hobbies that felt dry and plain when I couldn't afford to keep them going and it's been nice to find things like this that make me think again instead of just background noise. I still have quite a few bad habits, the ones that stop you from growing, to work out but I'm at least happy again with the direction I'm taking. I think for something like this I'm more in the group of mixing things. There are readers for everything even when we reach a point where published books remain on screens from one average person to another get flowery, don't, mix them pick and choose what works for you every time you look at one of these videos. After all you won't know for sure what your audience thinks or feels about any part of your creation until you attract them.

Absolutely loved this video. Thank you so much for this valuable information. Lots of love from an Australian 🇦🇺

Anyone else here to become a better writer on Wattpad?

How to write "undescriptively" 😅 if I may say so. I always had troubles at college where teachers were not able to understand my essays because my style was poetic, full of metaphors and descriptions all the time. I simply cannot stop doing this over and over :/

The animation of this video is beautiful. Good work!

"A sliver of light seeped through a small gap in the curtains, the birds singing their dawning songs, signaling the rise of a new day." this could not only mean the morning of another day, this could also imply that something is about to happen. (a section of a book I am working on)

Falling in love on the beach was the cliché part for me lol

At first when I heard the word violet I thought of the colour Now I thought of her The tealight candles on her bedside drawer The sock monkey collection on her bed The way my name rolled off her tounge and didn't sound like my name anymore She could effortlessly make anything beautiful Because she was beautiful But after that thought another thought made me shiver One I didn't want to remember ........But didn't want to forget Does this sound like an alright opening to a book?

Thank you. I’m going to college and majoring in English and writing. I love writing short stories and this just gave me some inspiration. I have notebooks that could fill a room and I realize that with video...writing is a sacred art.

I instantly recognized cornelia funke's Ink heart, without reading it on the banner. The visualization of the book examples are really recognizable, amazing!

This is how I write. Billy sat on a chair. He felt very sleepy. "Is school over." He questioned. 😂im cringing

I'm going to have to bookmark this to refer back to it more than once. This is a solid analysis and I think it will greatly help my ability to write more effectively.

Amazingly narrated, and backed by visuals. Tha ks for creating this

I'm very late to the party but this was such a helpful and beautifully made piece! Thank you and congratulations!

Trying to write better fanfiction be like.

There are moments where you should SHOW (emotional scenes, introducing a new setting or scene), and there are moments where you should TELL (playing it down, non-important scenes), and I think the video misses that.

The only reason I watch this channel is the art and the amazing advice they give.

This really helps me. I'm new on writing, I started because I keep having these ideas in my head and I wanna just write it down. This helps me on how will I form what I'm writing

This is so informative. Building in the five senses when writing definitely helps bring writing to life. 👌🏼

I love this video, for it steals my captivation, like as a book, and leaves me aspiring to write wonderful, numerous tomes.

This video was so important for my writing career. So informative.

So perfectly describes. Loved to hear and see the video.

Thank you! This has given me much needed clarity 😊😊😊❤️

I think this is important only in certain scenarios where it’s important to set up a scene, where the setting and how it looks/feels/sounds/tastes/smells is important to what happens in it. Pace is also important as it’s impossible to establish a fast pace with too many similies/descriptors while a more static scene where the characters have time to take in their surroundings would be a bit dull without them. A lot of beginners tend to overload their writing with, and place more emphasis on, flowery language or obscure descriptive comparators that make their writing tiring to read. Descriptors are like decorative icing on cake: it adds to the overall appeal of the cake but without the other components it wouldn’t be much use, nor would it taste as nice.

This helped me a lot because I have a mock BJAT tomorrow. And so it began , the journey through words and emotions, in a world that I can create.

I love this! Thanks for sharing. I'd like to improve the sensory details in my writing as well as the metaphors used 😃📖🙏🏽

I hate using vivid descriptions. The plot doesn't move anywhere and I get annoyed. It seems like It's just going for the word count and not the plot. Some description is nice but too much makes the story slow moving, which no one wants. They teach writing with vivid descriptions in school and if we don't include a hundred words describing how a chocolate bar feels and tastes then we have failed. That doesn't make sense because we don't need a hundred words on a chocolate bar.

"Billie's gurgling gut afflicted her walk into class. Her hair had nothing to do with it."

one. of the most beautiful inspiring videos I have seen recently

I've watched this before and I still love because of the vid itself and the calming voice.

Inking your taughts reflects your soul too🤗❣️❣️

Great video. But crack of sails was the wrong word. I've seen writers do this often. They will begin a scene or try to set a tone, but use incongruent adjectives or adverbs or other descriptors. Instead of the loud word crack, they should have used shuffle, or flutter, or bustle. Crack, snap, pop, all sounds that sails can make are very loud sounds. How can it be ghost-quiet if things are cracking in the foreground? A lot of times, people who are dialogue dominant, will mess up sight, sound and smells. I am still tempted to start a writing movement where students are encouraged to add the other senses more frequently to their stories. If you want to be a better writer, then color the world in your story with your whole being, not just with the art of your tongue.

The visuals really helped get the lesson across!

Thank you so much. I was trying write a story. Your advises gave a lot of Ideas . Thank you very much.🙏🙏

Anyone willing to give their opinion on this: I sat below a lonely tree, in a valley overcome by green. To both sides of me the damp brown earth shot into the blue sky, patchy clouds of wispy white spread amongst the blue. All around me the ground was green, the grass spread through the clearing I sat within. In front of me a road snaked into the belly of the valley, the cliff faces leaned inwards. Behind me a field of green spiralled outwards, the peaceful sky adding to the joyous sight. Though I hadn't looked behind me for hours. I only looked forward, into the valley. Just before the road a strip of darkness lay waiting. I knew it was a chasm, but I didn't know how deep the gap fell. I looked into the void of earth, wondering if I'd die from the fall. It didn't matter. I didn't have friends waiting behind me, I didn't have family waiting, I only had her. Where she is now, is debatable. I've been getting mixed opinions on it, so I thought that maybe getting some opinions that are outside of friend groups would be nice. I think it may be a bit too descriptive, though I'm not entirely sure whether it is. Either way, constructive criticism is appreciated.

A restrained, understated style can be just as potent as an ornate one, in my opinion, if not more so. Mary Renault's The Charioteer, for instance, is the best book I've ever read. It reads like she cut out half the novel, but is no less beautiful for its sparseness.

Great Explanation. I learned this from books and the feelings i get from reading literature.

This was very helpful for me to start righting my novel. Thank you very much.

A great piece of informative video on descriptive writing. You writers and storytellers are to have some influence on others' lives. I am dreaming of writing a piece for a good influence^^

That excerpt sounded like bad fan fiction 😳 Poor Billie.

This helps a lot. Thank you so much for this substantial info.

This is such a lovely video! I'm an amateur writer looking at this was very informative thank you!!

When I write, if I felt what I just write, I knew it was a good writing. Sometimes I got absorbed into me own story.

Manipulation of words should have a subtle hint of a metaphorical expression not too many references for one description. The writing should not only be able to take you into itself but should also bring you back to reality, showing the difference between the beauty of reading and reality. If you think to yourself, then this one criteria is what urges the reader to continue, as they know how much more fascinating it is.

I have always had this affinity with words. When I retired, 10 years ago, I promised myself I would take a creative writing course. It was one of my greatest accomplishments. The one major thought/tool she taught us was...."Show, don't Tell" with your words. This video backs that up.

I love this video! Very helpful and beautiful! ❤️